/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.12186761]

Why aren't you making your own bread, anon? It's quite literally the most enlightening form of cooking there is.
Making your own starter and keeping it going for years on end, seeing that dough rise from nothing but natural yeast, and hearing that beautiful soft crackle once you take your loaf out of the oven.
The best part? Theres no real recipe. You can add whatever the hell you want to it! Toasted seeds, some funky grains you've never heard of, or even some oatmeal on the surface for the best ancient grain bread you'll ever taste.

It's worth waking up an hour earlier once in a while to do.

[Anonymous No.12186777]

it's gay

[Anonymous No.12186781]

>>12186761
How do?

[Anonymous No.12186782]

>>12186761
I used to be pretty into it but then I went raw and haven't looked back.

[Anonymous No.12186784]

>>12186761
Tell us about your starter. How did you make it and how do you maintain it.

[Anonymous No.12186801]

That looks like my cum. Will I be ok?

[Anonymous No.12186844]

>>12186801
My cum smells like pancake batter. Anyone else have this?

[Anonymous No.12186847]

>>12186844
High carbohydrate diet. You should balance that out with more green vegetables and lean protein.

[Anonymous No.12186856]

I ran out of yeast :(

[Anonymous No.12186862]

>>12186844
My cum smells nothing like I have ever smelled before and every time I jerk off I am sure to smell my cum it's not a sexual thing it just makes me feel calm and nostalgic sometimes I go to bed just smelling my cum as it soothes me to sleep.

[Anonymous No.12186913]

>>12186844
You got the beetus

[Anonymous No.12186929]

Can people smell my cum? I jerk off all the time in my room and sometimes I just cum on my pubes and pull my briefs over it. None of my friends or their girlfriends have ever said anything and I can't imagine they'd just let me exist smelling like spooge.

[Anonymous No.12186963]

>>12186761
I love baking but its hard to eat it fast enough to not have any go bad. Combined with a sourdough starter and needing to use it regularly it became a problem. I miss keeping a starter but its much easier to have some SAF yeast in a container in the freezer and make a nice loaf every now and then.

[Anonymous No.12186985]

>>12186761
I sorta want to start a rye sourdough, but reading about getting it started sounds like I'd be wasting a lot of rye flour. Should I just do a regular bread flour starter and mix it with rye flour when I make bread on the weekends?

[Anonymous No.12187057]

>>12186929
They 100% can, anon. Big yikes.

[Anonymous No.12187109]

>>12186844
>>12186862
>>12186929
any of you go deaf when jerkin but get super human hearing after you cum? i think im being quite but afterwards i can hear my neighbors slightest movement

[Anonymous No.12187163]

>>12186761
Either everyone in my house avoids it, or they eat it all and I get maybe a crust.

I usually make the dough, and then decide if I want bread or bao.

[Anonymous No.12187294]

>>12186761
>Why aren't you making your own bread, anon?
No idea how to even begin.

Care to share a recipe?

[Anonymous No.12187376]

>>12186761
Keeping a starter sounds like a hassle.
I just use instant yeast.

[Anonymous No.12187397]

>>12186761
Baking bread is a massive hassle for the amount of calories it provides. I eat through a two-cabbage-sized loaf in like 1 day and it takes two days or more to make it. What a fucking waste. Truly skinnyfag food.

[Anonymous No.12187482]

>>12187397
>I eat through a two-cabbage-sized loaf in like 1 day and it takes two days or more to make it.
Im not a baked goods expert, but how the fuck do you take 2 wholes days to make 2 bread loafs?

[Anonymous No.12187493]

>>12186761
>>12187397
>>12187482
I was an actual baker for like three and a half years, and our bread took three days to make.
We made our starter in the night
the next day we'd make the dough then let it ferment and rise
Then we'd bake it the next morning. Fermentation is at least as important for bread as it is for booze, if not more so.

[Anonymous No.12187512]

>>12187493
What if you use chemical raising agent?

[Anonymous No.12187658]

>>12187512
I mean all our shit was organic/handmade/artisanal/etc. so I don't have a ton of experience with fake stuff but I would check the internaltemperatures of the dough
sorry I'm kinda drunk
ama tho

[Anonymous No.12187661]

>>12187294
300g of bread flour
100g of whole wheat flour
280g of water
9g of salt
52g of rye sourdough starter

Combine the water and all flour into a shaggy clump. Let it set overnight on the counter. In the morning, mix in the starter and salt and sort of knead it in the bowl for like 10 minutes, until the dough develop enough gluten. Then let it proof on the counter and fold the dough every 30-40 minutes. (Google how to fold the dough). After that, shape the dough into a boule, preheat your oven with dutch oven in it. When hot enough, put the dough into your preheated dutch oven and bake 25 minutes covered, then 15 minutes uncovered to form a nice crust. Let it cool for at least two hours and enjoy.

[Anonymous No.12187668]

>>12187661
>rye sourdough starter

try actually using an aged sourdough starter but with rye flour+seeds added in, it's much more satisfying

[Anonymous No.12187678]

>>12187668
I am using whole rye flour for my starter and when I will have a chance, I will buy some rye kernels and try to add them in. I know in Denmark they use whole wheat and rye kernels in their bread which they ferment for like two days or something. Wanna try that someday.

[Anonymous No.12187687]

>>12187678
how old is your starter? I also wouldn't take denmark as a great example of bread. as much as I hate to say it, the best bread is on the american coasts

[Anonymous No.12187689]

I always had trouble shooting cum, is it something with my prostate? I must be super horny and edge for it to shoot otherwise it just awkwardly flows out like I was an old dry man.

I remember this being an issue eversince I started to whack off. Also pee, when I piss and leave the bathroom there is a hidden last drop that flows out minutes later and makes a small stain on my underwear. I don't think it's prostate because I had this issue since I was 13.

This is really sad for me because I want to shoot big ropes of cum.

[Anonymous No.12187693]

>>12187689
eat more bread

[Anonymous No.12187698]

>>12187687
I am not really sure how old it is. About a half a year. The one before was older but drunk myself killed it.

It wasn’t great example of bread, it was an example of using whole rye kernels in a bread. Also you’ve never been in bakery in Germany, have you?

[Anonymous No.12187700]

>>12186782
I went raw in your mom and never looked back

[Anonymous No.12187702]

>>12186844
My cum smells like ether

[Anonymous No.12187704]

>>12187698
not but I've toured north america baking
/spoiler I've tried german bread and it's pretty good/Iknowspoilersdon'tworkon/ck/

[Anonymous No.12187707]

>>12186929
The fishy smell you obviously smell later in the day is because of rotten semen. I used to jerk it and just throw my boxers back on as a horny teenager and couldn’t figure out what the fuck the smell was until I read a 4chan post like 7 years ago lol

[Anonymous No.12187713]

>>12186761
Bread's kind of just a junk food for poor people. We can afford much more useful sources of calories today.

[Anonymous No.12187715]

>>12187704
In my opinion it doesn’t really matter where do your bread come from. Bread is something we have to enjoy in a good and bad times alike. All breads are great.
I tried making Ruisleipä (dense and very sour bread originally from Finland). It’s not something I enjoyed very much but my gf absolutely loved it.

[Anonymous No.12187731]

>>12187693
No, please help me.

[Anonymous No.12187740]

>>12186844
Mine sometimes smells like bleach, it has me a bit concerned

[Anonymous No.12187766]

when i tried to get into baking before, my housemates made fun of me because my results weren't very good (I mean, I'd never baked before but I was watching Bake Off on TV and I need a hobby, figured why not)
After that I felt like I couldn't try anymore.
:(

[Anonymous No.12187767]

>>12186844
my cum smells like some cheaper end brie

[Anonymous No.12187768]

>>12187740
That's normal. Mine smells like either chlorine or mushrooms.

[Anonymous No.12187802]

>>12187766
You have to keep trying to improve. If you leave after first fail, you will never be good at anything.

[Anonymous No.12188195]

>>12186761
omnomNOMNOM

[Anonymous No.12188215]

>>12187700
Kekd hard

[Anonymous No.12188216]

>>12187766
Fuck your housemates, bro! Just try again and again. Read stuff on the internet and ask questions in /ck/ bread threads. This is how you improve.
Just think of the delicious bread that you will get to enjoy while laughing at your pathetic housemate losers who have to eat wonderbread.

[Anonymous No.12188219]

>>12186761
Thinking of doing a rye sourdough starter soon, I want to make some tasty dark rye bread

[Anonymous No.12188233]

>>12187493
Based bakerman

[Anonymous No.12188288]

>>12186777
>i'm gay
Fixed your typo, champ. You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.12188324]

>>12187766

give your housemates some homemade cum bread. laugh when they comment on the flavor.

[Anonymous No.12188517]

>>12187700
based anon that says he fucked other anon's mum poster

[Anonymous No.12188562]

>>12186929
For the past week I've wanked with my pants on and absorbed the cum into my boxers. It smells nice whenever I open up my pants to go pee. Starting to get a bit itchy, though.
Also I haven't taken a shower in over 2 weeks.

[Anonymous No.12188773]

it's kneading as we speak, OP.

I want to move on from the big old ball in pic related, so I bought a loaf pan. Normally I punch it down and let it rise on the counter, would I need to do anything different to make sure it bakes out as a loaf?

[Anonymous No.12189071]

>>12186777
>trips of truth
I don't like fat sweaty middleaged black men ramming their cock in my ass.

[Anonymous No.12189075]

>>12186761
>eating bread

[Anonymous No.12189891]

>>12188773
Preshape, than shape, then retardation in the fridge. Should be fine I guess. You have to learn how to properly shape the dough otherwise it’s not gonna hold the shape properly and will flatten out.

[Anonymous No.12189961]

>>12186761
I always have made my own bread. Whole wheat, sometimes with flax.

Is bread a type of cheese?

[Anonymous No.12189964]

>>12189075
No one gets fat on bread alone, especially whole wheat.

[Anonymous No.12189970]

>>12186844
My cum once had blood in it, worst month of wanking in my life.

[Anonymous No.12189979]

>>12188562
I had my first shower of the year last week, only below the waist. I haven't washed my hair since last year. Needed to clean my butthole before shaving because the hair had gotten too long to shave without first thoroughly soaping instead of just using a wet wipe. If I wear the same undies too long, my scrotum gets scaly and flaky.

[Anonymous No.12189983]

>>12186761
That's a pretty solid beer you got there.

[Anonymous No.12190657]

r8 my loaf

[Anonymous No.12190662]

>>12186777
Fpbp

>also trips

[Anonymous No.12190687]

>>12190657
8.5/10.

Nice loaf fag.

[Anonymous No.12190696]

>>12190687
ty. have some crumb

[Anonymous No.12190756]

Is there a small, relatively cheap mixer I can buy that comes with a bread hook or am I forced to buy one of those fuckhuge mixers?

[Anonymous No.12190762]

>>12186761
Keto bandito here to tell you you're wrong and Bread is evil, like all carbs

[Anonymous No.12190884]

>>12190762
Don't you have a vegan thread to go shit up, stinky?

[Anonymous No.12190991]

>>12189891
>>12188773
Results. Might be because my house is so damn cold but I didn't get a very good rise out the dough. I expected it to rise like my previous loaf and bake over the edges of the pan, but at least it kept a a shape relative to what I wanted. Very soft and chewy.

[jevin No.12191027]

>>12186913
shut the fuck up faggot. why would u post this trash comment nigger faggot

[Anonymous No.12191028]

>>12187661
70% hydration? Say hello to a goopy mess for a virgin baker.

[Anonymous No.12191057]

those Bonne Maman jars are fucken handy as fuck

[Anonymous No.12191067]

I did a really interesting loaf this week. tons of nutmeg in it as well as finely ground coffee, cream, butter, egg, walnut, molasses and even more nutmeg.

I went light on the creams and molasses so it isn't to much like a desert, just a nice, borderline donut-y loaf. Great for breakfast, paired with a nice espresso.

[Anonymous No.12191075]

>>12190696
6/10

[Anonymous No.12191208]

>>12191067
Not really a fan of coffee, but like pumpernickle which can contain some coffee or cocoa for bitterents. A heavily nutmegged loaf sounds interesting flavor wise though. Got a recipe?

[Anonymous No.12192136]

>>12187658
How hard is it to bake proper macaroons? What is the easiest thing to bake that seems difficult/impressive to normies, and what is your favourite thing to bake?

[Anonymous No.12192443]

>>12190991
That doesn’t look bad. More like a sandwich bread I would say. How long did you let it proof?

>>12191028
70% hydration is not that much. How would you call bread with 85% hydration then?

[Anonymous No.12192480]

>>12192443
anon just don’t know senpai

[Anonymous No.12192563]

>>12186761
I don't eat enough bread to warrant the amount of work, I'd have to cut it up and put it in the freezer immediately.

I'll try to get into breadmaking if I get to date or marry someone who eats bread regularly though.

[Anonymous No.12192989]

I do make bread, I've been lazy and just doing focaccia lately because I can't be arsed to clean the countertop before/after kneading and shaping. Now I just do no knead recipes and only have a bowl to wash up.

[Anonymous No.12193438]

Can't upload webm in mobile but has anyone used this recipe?
https://gfycat.com unevenbriefgrouper

[Anonymous No.12193568]

>>12193438
Looks like a very basic recipe. 15g of dry yeast on a kilo of flour is also a very housewife amount. Quick and dirty.
If you want good flavor then add 3 g or so and let it proof overnight.

[Anonymous No.12195432]

>>12190696
fucking amazing anon

[Anonymous No.12195709]

>>12191057
glad I wasn't the only one to spot it

[Anonymous No.12195744]

Does anyone have a recipe for a simple as fuck whole wheat sandwich bread? All the king arthur recipes I've found are trying to jew me into buying their milk powder

[Anonymous No.12196226]

>>12192563
I just got a nice 1lb bread maker to solve this issue. Will help prevent me from making too much at once, even if I just want to do a dough cycle for pizza or w/e and then bake it manually.

[Anonymous No.12196226,1]

>>12186913
fucking die