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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12037472 No.12037472 [Reply] [Original]

How do I get drunk on as few calories as possible?

>> No.12037476

Straight vodka or similar clear spirits. A bottle of vodka is about 1600 kcal and it's pretty much all from alcohol.

>> No.12037478

Use phenobarbital instead

>> No.12037481
File: 44 KB, 319x960, 1547821869541.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

dude I'm high on life, you might try it sometime!

>> No.12037483

Everclear. It's like 90% alcohol or something right.

If you drank 3 shots it would probably be the equivalent of 4-8 shots of some other drink. Those aren't hard numbers but you get what I mean. Taste will be hard to choke down though same for the burn of the alcohol will be more intense.

Better off just drinking vodka.

>> No.12037484

Butt Chug. 0 calories

>> No.12037485

Don't eat, and drink vodka. Has a faster, stronger effect on an empty stomach, but it might give you a stomachache too. And don't overdo it, easy way to become an alcoholic and develop a ton of problems.

>> No.12037492

Thats a relatively simple to answer question, isnt it? Drink the drink that has the highest alcohol content. Also will help if you drink in a fasted state/dont have anything in your stomach.

Do keep in mind that alcohol still has 7kcal per gram, which is more than protein and carbs (which have 4). So even if you drink pure alcohol, you will always get calories.

>> No.12037494

I'm never sure if people like you are trolling or genuinely retarded.
Alcohol has calories. If you get drunk on it it's because it's in your blood stream. If it's in your blood stream you are deriving calories from it.

>> No.12037499

Mate, getting drunk occasionally will not be the thing that causes you to lose weight. Only if you do it all the time or have an unrelated dietary imbalance will you gain weight.

>> No.12037501

*getting drunk occasionally will not be the thing that causes you to GAIN weight

>> No.12037503

This is bad advice. One shot (1.5oz) of Everclear 190 proof would have 190 calories but the 80 proof vodka equivalent (about 3.6 oz) would only have 152 calories.

>> No.12037505

barbiturates and pure ethanol.

>> No.12037506

durrr yeah, take a couple of tylenol first too then it will really hit you!

NO. Retarded advice. Drinking on an empty stomach will give you ulcers and ruin your livers/organs way faster than drinking with a full stomach.

>> No.12037512

Have as little bodyfat as possible.

>> No.12037515

Butt chug

>> No.12037516

OP didn't ask for the safest and healthiest way. If he did it once, it won't be a big deal. And I told him it will cause problems if done too often.

>> No.12037519


>> No.12037526

Alcohol up the ass
You don’t digest any of it so it’ll go directly to your blood stream

The only issue is that it might have a relatively high chance of killing you by alcohol poisoning

>> No.12037533

>You don’t digest any of it so it’ll go directly to your blood stream

>> No.12037536

Don't drink too often so your tolerance stays low. Alcohol isn't my favorite thing, so I don't have it too often, but when I do have it even just one or two beers have a noticeably strong effect.

>> No.12037542

Drink on an empty stomach.
Google says whiskey is lower calories than vodka.

>> No.12037544

Nope nevermind, I must be dyslexic.

>> No.12038568

Reminder that this dude blew his head up with fireworks

>> No.12038594

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Covered in third degree burns.
Nobody here wants to be you, Gaston
Your look makes our stomach churn.
There’s no man in town that’s admiring you
You’re that “cautionary tale” guy
We don’t know what was inspiring you
And it’s not very hard to see whyyyyyyy.....

Noooo oooooone’s flayed like Gaston, Gets flambéed like Gaston
No one’s neck is in need of first aid like Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as icky
Of kindling, he’s a paragon.
You can ask any Goofy or Mickey
And they’ll tell you whose head they roast marshmallows on

No one’s been, like Gaston, filled with gin like Gaston
No one’s singed all the flesh off his chin like Gaston
“As some charcoal, why yes, I’m self-immolating!”
My what a guy that Gaston!

No one lights like Gaston, or ignites like Gaston
On the Fourth, no one’s head is so bright like Gaston
For there’s no one as charred or as scorched now,
For a doctor his whole body yearns
Not a bit of him that isn’t torched now
And every last inch of him covered in burns

No one’s hot like Gaston, takes headshots like Gaston
Needs a skin graft from bottom to top like Gaston
“I’m especially good at incinerating!”
Call 9-1-1 for Gaston!

“When I was a lad, I held M-80’s there
Every Fourth ‘til the light show was done.
But now I just set mortar tubes in my hair,
'Til I’m roughly the temp of the suuuuuuuuuuuuun!”

No one’s dead like Gaston, skins all red like Gaston,
No one blows off their own fucking head like Gaston
“I use Black Cats in all my decapitating!”
My, what a guuuuuuuy…GASTOOOOOOOOON!!!!

>> No.12038671
File: 89 KB, 640x640, platte-valley.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Drink moonshine

>> No.12038683

yeah, nah

>> No.12038705
File: 216 KB, 715x402, Gaston Crying.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nobody sets off roman candles like Gaston.

>> No.12038706

>>40% ABV
Wow, you really are a poser aren't you?

>> No.12038713

Everclear and powdered sugar free beverage mix.
Sounds like a good way to get the shakes and see pink elephants, though.
I'd be dead if I drank like that, pretty sure I've already gone into ketoacidosis a few times binging.

>> No.12038718
File: 24 KB, 564x515, No One Twerks Like Gaston.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.12038719

The difference is where the calories come from. Ehtyl derived sugars will destroy your liver and make your piss sweet more than making you fat.

>> No.12038727

this or
>do not eat for a day
>do not drink water for a day
>start drinking vodka

>> No.12038755
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Go to getdrunknotfat dot com.

>> No.12038781
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If you wrote that, motherfucking bravo.

>> No.12038877

Calories are the measurment of stored energy and we just blindly thought its the cause of obesity because oil and oily foods are highly caloric, most oils can be used in old NA diesel engines as fuel and coincidentally our bodies store oils as fuel
but we can't store alcohol in our bodies so it won't make you fat

>inb4 beer belly
have you ever drank 6 small bottles of water in one sitting and then thought to yourself that you are really fucking need something fat to eat?
now replace water with beer and you have pretty common situation

>> No.12038902

Beer bellies are real. The fucked up part is it comes partially from swollen organs. They used to call it pickled.

>> No.12038916
File: 14 KB, 320x320, 7caa4b8f10859c192d6ef939bfcbf988--mickey-disney-disney-diy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Is this OC? literally what the fuck guy, you should get signed to a label homie

>> No.12038937


>> No.12039060


>> No.12039094

Just start drinking in the morning before breakfast when your stomach is already empty.

>> No.12039097

this post is insane and wrong but you got dubs so I guess you're based

>> No.12039792

Get a syringe, the sell them for teeth irrigation
Get some Everclear
Fill up the syringe
Lube the outside of the syringe with KY
Squirt the E up your ass
EOTH is absorbed from your colon directly into your bloodstream
Bypassing your stomach and small intestines
100% absorbtion, not the 20% your stomach normally does
Drunk off your ass, literally, in no time cheap and easy

Warning: If you have Anal Fissures or Bleeding Internal Hemorrhoids, DO NOT USE THIS METHOD

If you are really poor and need the peace that a good drunk will bring, you can also stuff alcohol rubbing pads up your ass, this type of alcohol is really bad for your liver, but if you are really desperate, well why not

>> No.12039849

Pure ethanol.

>> No.12039872

>How do I get drunk on as few calories as possible?
Think low carb diet!
Avoiding the sugar, so the virtually only sugar left is the actual alcohol content. Vodka wins.

Vodka, diet mixers or seltzer water, twist of lime.
Vodka cranberry (minimal cranberry)
Vodka mojito. Again think more lime seltzer than actual lime juice or sugar. Load up on the mint leaves

Michelob Ultra beer. They worked really hard to get a decent flavor for only 2.5 carbs and under 100 cals.

Wine spritzers if you stick to dry wine, keep the sugar low. Dry sherry (not cream sherry), can be dry.

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