ITT: Signs you are in a good restaurant

[Anonymous No.12019437]

>the pepperoni curls

[Anonymous No.12019440]

Three or more different types of ketchup on to choose from.

[Anonymous No.12019478]

>>12019437
>he likes the tiny cups of grease on his pizza

[Anonymous No.12019483]

>the trains are rolling in

[Anonymous No.12019486]

>You are IMMEDIATELY hooked

[Anonymous No.12019489]

>the burgies have eggs

[Anonymous No.12019492]

>you can smell freshly baked bread as your party approaches and promises of tankards of ale are within

[Anonymous No.12019497]

>>12019492
>All halflings are banned.

[Anonymous No.12019520]

>they use cacciatore, soppressata, prosciutto or fresh pork sausage instead of pepperoni

[Anonymous No.12019522]

>>12019492
>>12019497
based

[Anonymous No.12019567]

>they don't serve niggers

[Anonymous No.12019581]

>>12019437
I have never had bad curled pepperoni and they're always the best. Where can I buy them?

[Anonymous No.12019590]

Poor and fat people can't afford to eat there. Food is prepared by an actual chef and not an fat neckbeard with acne and low self esteem who dumps frozen industrial garbage into a deepfryer. Waiter now how to serve and touch plates. Waiters don't wear silly uniforms with corporate logos. You can view the kitchen from your seat

[Anonymous No.12019608]

>>12019520
OP said good

[Anonymous No.12019662]

>>12019478
>he doesn't

[Anonymous No.12019666]

>the waiter has a boner and keeps banging it on the table

[Anonymous No.12019674]

>>12019590
You have awful taste. Why would you want to see the kitchen? Are you such a cunt you have to make sure people don’t spit in your food?

[Anonymous No.12019678]

>>12019666
Woah there, Satan.

[Anonymous No.12019683]

Bottomless soda.

[Anonymous No.12019695]

>no kiddy menu items

[Anonymous No.12019700]

Every fast food pizza I've had uses curled pepperoni

[Anonymous No.12019701]

>everything has an XL option

[Anonymous No.12019709]

open 24hrs

[Anonymous No.12019773]

>>12019437
>you're served fresh bread with herbal butter or olive oil and balsamic vinegar
>your waiter is extremely attentive at refilling water glasses and checks in at least twice during the meal
>the place is PRISTINE clean
>kitchen is open, nothing to hide
>menu fits on a single page and provides short descriptions of each dish - small menu where everything is good rather than twenty pages of mediocre crap
>a chef's name is on the menu
>will bring you new food without hesitation or argument if you are unhappy with your food for any reason

[Anonymous No.12019795]

>>12019674
I want to know how they work and their kitchen is clean. I worked in the industry for a bit and most restaurants kitchens are disgusting and dirty.

Also that's a false dilemma argument, learn to argue your point without logical fallacies

[Anonymous No.12019800]

>>12019795
No it's not, you retard. Go shove a dildo up your ass. The stick is getting lonely by itself.

[Anonymous No.12019807]

>>12019800
Why wouldn't you want the kitchen open? You prefer it's concealed away so professionalism and cleanliness can fly out the window unnoticed?

[Anonymous No.12019814]

>>12019807
Show a timestamped pic of a dildo up your ass and maybe I'll deign to answer.

[Anonymous No.12019821]

>>12019492
I kill the innkeeper and burn it to the ground because food this good is surely the product of foul witchery. Better safe than sorry.

[Anonymous No.12019825]

>>12019814
I'm not the other guy you were talking to. What's with the anal fixation? Why would you tell someone to shove a dildo up their ass because they want restaurants to have an open kitchen? Do you work in a kitchen where iffy shit goes down or something? Yeesh.

[Anonymous No.12019858]

>>12019478
ew grease yucky fat is bad

[Anonymous No.12019867]

>>12019437
1. The waitstaff doesn't dote over people and leaves them alone to chat.
2. The tables aren't so close as to have to hear the conversations of others.

[Anonymous No.12019873]

>>12019800
I appreciate you taking the shitposting on my behalf. A true gentleman.

[Anonymous No.12019878]

>>12019867
... I almost forgot #3
3. Not being seated near some self important bitch hollaring on her cellphone, usually something from apple. I really think some of these bitches make shit up to look important when they're really just fucking annoying.

[Anonymous No.12019901]

The goblins from Gringotts show up to take your tip

[Anonymous No.12019907]

>>12019800
Nice ad hominem, more fallacies please

[Anonymous No.12019908]

>>12019901
The Goblin King wants his cut.

[Anonymous No.12019920]

>>12019483
quality over rent

[Anonymous No.12019921]

>they let you eat other table's leftovers

[Anonymous No.12019924]

>>12019921
Go punch your timecard prole.

[Anonymous No.12019927]

>>12019437
>good restaurant
>pepperoni
You absolute plebeian.

[Anonymous No.12019943]

>ethnic style restaurant owned by white people

[Anonymous No.12019950]

>>12019908
...

[Anonymous No.12019962]

>>12019943
> ethnic style
> style
GTFO!

[Anonymous No.12019966]

>>12019437
they say
hey im gay btw, not sure if that matters or not

[Anonymous No.12020060]

>>12019773
>complimentary bread
id say thats a red flag

[Anonymous No.12020065]

>>12019520
Why is there a spanner next to the pizza?

[Anonymous No.12020068]

>>12019520

>Eating your pizza with a wrench

[Anonymous No.12020080]

>>12019437
Good service where the waiters don't go out of order and write down two other tables that sat down well after you did. Seriously, I went down to black bear diner the other morning and the servers just kept blowing right past me, three of them waiting on the same table at once. Didn't even get a drink order in after 10 minutes so I just left.

[Anonymous No.12020084]

>>12020080
>"Oh shit, here comes that smelly lard ass again, maybe if we ignore him he'll get up and go away"

[Anonymous No.12020093]

you can feed your hubby for under 10 bucks

[Anonymous No.12020098]

>>12019437
>heard before that the way the oil gathers in curled pepperoni can cause cancer
>but I heard it from Maddox and he's a cuck

[Anonymous No.12020264]

all the servers are hot as fuck

[Anonymous No.12020318]

>>12019437
The food isn’t steaming hot when it’s brought to me.

[Anonymous No.12020319]

The chef is a monstrously hairy oaf named Mario, Luigi, Marco, or Tony. On the tops of all the shelving you see massive cans of Cento brand San Marzano tonatos.

[Anonymous No.12020332]

They have a chef's table

[Anonymous No.12020335]

>>12020068
>Not eating pizza with a wrench

[Anonymous No.12020364]

>>12019483
>getting blasted in the face by train exhaust while tying to eat

[Anonymous No.12020368]

>>12019437
The owner is always there and he always looks pissed off

[Anonymous No.12020372]

>>12020368
My buddy owned a restaurant and he was pissed off all the time when he was there. It was because he had no idea what he was doing and the restaurant was floundering.

[Anonymous No.12020377]

>>12020068
>>12020335
Your supposed to heat up the frozen pizza first so you wont need a wrench to deal with it.

[Anonymous No.12020379]

>>12019478
uh, yes?

[Anonymous No.12020399]

I can just see some /ck idiot banging on a frozen pizza with a wrench because it's not instant.

[Anonymous No.12020407]

>>12019437
>Good restaurant
>Pepperoni Pizza

. . .

>Good restaurant in Wyoming.

Fixed it.

[Anonymous No.12020411]

>>12019437
the chef has a face tattoo

[Anonymous No.12020416]

>the menu is in an ancient elven dialect that even the waiter cant read

[Anonymous No.12020425]

>>12019666
Just pictured Gordon Ramsey yelling at his staff while banging his erection on the counter.

[Anonymous No.12020427]

>>12020416
That's why one has to hire cute little elven chicks to do translations, if they get over the casting couch if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.12020437]

>the bartender is in blackface

[Anonymous No.12020440]

>>12020425
Dude probably has a 12 inch boner desu. Uncut too.

[Anonymous No.12020446]

>>12020440
He's gotta swing from trees with it like Tarzan.
Baltimora - Tarzan Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4QRm786nLE

[Anonymous No.12020483]

>>12020098
Nitrosamines can emerge.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrosamine

[Anonymous No.12020509]

>>12019590
You sound like a pretentious faggot and literally no restaurant fits that description except maybe a sushi place.

[Anonymous No.12020545]

>>12019773
>open kitchen, nothing to hide
lmfaooooOOO, you're the type of dude that talks shit because they feel emboldened by being able to see the kitchen staff....
Meanwhile I'm on the back prepline dippin ur shit in a floor drain lololllllll

[Anonymous No.12020663]

>>12020411
Top kek

[Anonymous No.12020670]

>>12020080
Sounds like you like fantasizing a lot.
While some of what you put down could be good indicators - most are just odd assumptions and some even outright wrong.

[Anonymous No.12020672]

unisex bathrooms

[Anonymous No.12020990]

>>12019581
at the 'rled 'roni factory

[Anonymous No.12021000]

>>12019478
Fag detected

[Anonymous No.12021030]

>sever explains you what the dishes are, the ingredients and how they make them
It was kino desu.

[Anonymous No.12021032]

>>12020672
Comfy single person bathrooms where you can take a shit in peace.

[Anonymous No.12021040]

>>12020509
Except for the open kitchen part I've been in dozens of places that fit the bill.
You just have to be willing to pay the bill for that level of service. I try to stop by these guys once a season to see what they come up with.

[Anonymous No.12021051]

>>12019478
You eat a slice a za with a fork and knife and a napkin tucked on in your collar, don't you fag?

[Anonymous No.12021169]

>>12019440
>eating ketchup at all

[Anonymous No.12021172]

>>12019478
tiny cups of flavor, you mean

[Anonymous No.12021178]

>all the waitresses have penises and you can pay extra for their semen on your food

[Anonymous No.12021197]

>>12021178
you get to milk it out yourself

[Anonymous No.12021220]

>>12020672
Don't forget the mandatory diaper changing station required by law!

[Anonymous No.12021228]

>>12019590
You do know fat people don't want to eat you right? You don't have to be afraid of them.

[Anonymous No.12021231]

>>12019497
Gnomes > Hobbits (Tolkein) > Halflings >>> power gap >>>>> shit >>>>> Kender

[Anonymous No.12021234]

>>12019478
Someone post the webm of the fag patting his pizza with a napkin

[Anonymous No.12021236]

>>12019520
they didnt bake the basil

[Anonymous No.12021239]

>>12021228
They might not want to, but they're liable to do it by accident.

[Anonymous No.12021246]

>there are no women

[Anonymous No.12021689]

No negros in the place.
That's a good sign of a proper establishment.

[Anonymous No.12021763]

>>12019437
Pepperoni curls might be a sign of higher-quality pepperoni, sure, but they are inconvient as fuck for the person eating. The recommended way to handle pepperoni that curls up is to do the little slice to the edge trick before putting it on pizza, so it has room to expand without curling up. Also, you could cube up the pepperoni. Curled pepperoni is just a blatent "I don't know how to work with my ingredients and I just do things the same way I'd do with lower-quality ingredients" red flag. Who knows what else such a restaurant would be doing with their ingredients.

Also, cheese goes *over* the pepperoni, your peps shouldn't be able to slide off your pizza when you pick it up. Pepperoni and most other toppings do better when you cook them in the sauce, with the cheese acting as a layer that keeps all that steam (and flavor) from the sauce in. The sauce, the pepperoni/sausage/ham/etc and veggies, all cook in the sauce and the flavors get to know each other. This is pizza 101, and it's so infuriating to see chefs and home cooks that ought to *know better* putting their precious toppings on top of the cheese, where they'll dry out or just fall off the slices when picked up, and don't absorb any flavor.

TL;DR - curled pepperoni is a sign that a restaurant is using premium ingredients but still has no idea what the fuck they're doing. Toppings go in the sauce, and cheese goes over everything. Fight me.

[Anonymous No.12021773]

no niggers

[Anonymous No.12021790]

>>12019437
Lots of jews eating there.

[Anonymous No.12021956]

>>12021763
lolshutthefuckup

[Anonymous No.12021978]

>>12021763
Imagine typing that shit out on a mongolian yak milking/bangledeshi cobra charming board.

[Anonymous No.12022101]

>>12019520
>that burnt, dry ass crust
No thanks. It's okay to give that thing some flavor and not just make it the pizza handle.

[Anonymous No.12023876]

>>12021956
I'm in love.

[Anonymous No.12023903]

>>12019773
>balsamic vinegar
>classy
>good

[Anonymous No.12023921]

>>12020509
>t. poor or fat

[Anonymous No.12023934]

>>12019478
It's making the lardasses rage, but this guy is right.

[Anonymous No.12023937]

>>12020364
It's an electric train.

[Anonymous No.12023939]

>>12019821
Lol so random xD

[Anonymous No.12023943]

>>12020065
To cut it into slices

[Anonymous No.12023961]

>>12020065
It's called a wrench you dumb faggot

[Anonymous No.12024348]

>>12019520
Looks great, fuck the haters.

[Anonymous No.12024357]

>>12020065
To remove the bolts that are holding the toppings in place for delivery.