Questions That Don't Deserve Their Own Thread

[Anonymous No.12006479]

[Anonymous No.12006482]

>>12006479
Why do so many lesbians masturbate with plastic penises instead of rubber vaginas?

[Anonymous No.12006486]

>>12006479
I'll start. Any quality oyster sauces out there? By quality I mean actually having oyster sauce as major ingredient and without artificial flavourings.

[Anonymous No.12006487]

>>12006482
scissoring is a myth anon

[Anonymous No.12006493]

>>12006482
pic

>>12006487
no, that's when the scissors go through the wrapping paper fast

[Anonymous No.12006519]

How do I tell when a steak is medium done? I’m too afraid to try cooking steaks because I think I’ll overcook them.

[Anonymous No.12006526]

>>12006519

[Anonymous No.12006568]

>>12006482

because you can't insert a rubber vagina to rub the g-spot

>>12006519

you can get an instant read thermometer for cheap

[Anonymous No.12006617]

>>12006482
Lesbians like dick just fine. We just aren't fond of the thing they're attached to.

[Anonymous No.12006619]

>>12006617
>we
Leave. Men only on this site

[Anonymous No.12006623]

>>12006619
Lol deal with it anger boy

[Anonymous No.12006626]

>>12006623
Atleast show bum

[Anonymous No.12006740]

How do I check criminal and medical records? Do I really have to go through the rigmarole of calling someone up?

[Anonymous No.12006745]

>>12006740
why are you posting this on a cooking board?

[Anonymous No.12006759]

>>12006745
Likely a newfag who saw this thread on frontpage

[Anonymous No.12006784]

>>12006740
Got any good recipe's for rigmarole's?

[Anonymous No.12006788]

>>12006626
>angry anon called out
>Pls show ass Pls

Jesus christ, even if you're 'trolling' have some tact. It's not funny or clever, you don't need to make other anons even mistakenly think a human being can be this pathetic

[Anonymous No.12006877]

>>12006745
My question wasn't related to cooking so it would be poor form to make a thread about it.

[Anonymous No.12006955]

>>12006617
>>12006623
>>12006788
feet pics when?

[Anonymous No.12006964]

>>12006788

He said bum and you said ass.

Amerifat lesbo post yer brapper

[Anonymous No.12007026]

>>12006788
Look how confused you are. Go back to plebbit and stop rolling around these neighborhoods or you gon get raped

[Anonymous No.12007108]

>>12006788
Show ass pls

[Anonymous No.12008210]

>>12006486
unless you live in china then probably no youll have to make your own.

Most restaurants get their supplies from ditribution companies that import in bulk and cater only to restaurants. If you want some of that youll have to befriend someone at a restaurant to get a little

[Anonymous No.12008265]

What to use instead of white wine in recipes?

[Anonymous No.12008272]

>>12008265
Red wine :^)

Why can't you use wine though?

[Anonymous No.12008273]

Would you eat a fish sandwich on raisin bread

[Anonymous No.12008288]

>>12006788
tits or GTFO

[Anonymous No.12008296]

>>12006788
open bobs and vagene

[Anonymous No.12008307]

>>12006486
I use lee kum kee. not sure aboot ingresients tho

[Anonymous No.12008340]

>>12006788
Show bobs and vegana pls

[Anonymous No.12008973]

>>12006964
>>12006955
>>12007108
>>12008288

[Anonymous No.12009036]

>>12006617
>>12006623
>>12006788
Oh look, it's the "be as Tumblr as humanly possible" approach to shitposting. Looks like you fooled a few morons, but not me.

[Anonymous No.12009043]

>>12006788
>stop trolling me! not like that!
Roasties.

[Anonymous No.12009923]

>>12006519
It takes practice, dimwit. Expect less than perfection for the first 3 or so attempts.

[Anonymous No.12009967]

>>12006487
Scissoring, yeah. Mmmm, rubbing front holes together feels so nice omg.

[Anonymous No.12010004]

>>12008265
If it's just to deglaze the pan and you're in a pinch, water with some apple cider vinegar. It gives you the acidity and ACV is more complex than straight white without being too distinct like other vinegars.

Don't do this for something that heavily relies on white wine, but it's nice to keep in your back pocket.

[Anonymous No.12010098]

I have some romaine lettuce from Aldi. What can I do with it that isn't salad? I've considered baking it and throwing feta on it, or lettuce soup. What else can I do with it?

[Anonymous No.12010114]

>>12006479
What's the cheapest way to render dates as a substitute for sugar? Planning on using them in rice pudding.

t. poorfag

[Anonymous No.12010174]

How in the hell do I get my stir fry noodles to combine evenly with the meat and vegetables? Every time I try to make a stir fry the noodles tend to clump together in the center of the wok.

[Anonymous No.12010280]

Tell me how to make custard please.

[Anonymous No.12010283]

>>12010114
but aren't dates more expensive than sugar?

[Anonymous No.12010484]

>>12006519
press your thumb against your index finger and use your other hand to feel the texture of the thumb part of your palm of the first hand. that's how mid-rare feels, sort of bouncy but loose. with your thumb against your middle finger is medium, against the ring is medium-well, against the pinky is well-done. approximately. your thumb might be especially firm or flabby, so you'll have to practice and adjust this test to yourself. but it's still a place to start
>>12008265
some stock mixed with vinegar, or just water works fine. you'll need to adjust everything else though
>>12008273
I'd try it if I had some lemon. sweet bread with sweet fish is a bit much, but sour goes well with both
>>12010098
just add it to whatever needs some freshness or lightening. or you can use it as a wrap for some meat. or you can grill it if you aren't timid with your heat. I wouldn't bake it. short cook times applied with high heat, so it's still moist
>>12010174
assuming your wok is well-seasoned, preboil or steam the noodles and drain, and have everything else ready before starting to fry them. make sure your wok is on super high heat, enough that it's starting to smoke. add your oil just before adding your noodles and make sure you have enough (it's almost always more than beginners expect). it won't be greasy as long as you cook them fast.
>>12010280
eggs plus whatever else you want for flavor, usually either broth+salt OR milk+sugar, then steam until set. that's it.
unless you mean the more complicated filling custards. those are basically making a double boiler (that is, a metal bowl suspended over low-boiling water without touching), heating milk+sugar, pouring very slowly into eggs+sugar+starch, cooking in your double boiler until thick (eggs reaching ~60 C is when it'll start to thicken) and then finishing with flavoring and butter.

[Anonymous No.12010489]

>>12010484
Look at me, i responded to every post!

[Anonymous No.12010490]

>>12006479
This is a slow board. All relevant questions deserve their own thread. It will only bump fast food trash off the catalogue. Now kindly reassess your life or kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.12010500]

>>12006788
>not knowing the oldest and most sacred rule of 4chan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA39ze0i7Fw

[Anonymous No.12010511]

>>12006479
why are bean instructions so complicated, why cant i just boil water and put beans inside

[Anonymous No.12010520]

>>12006482
You know its funny, in porn you often see dildos that are just featureless tubes but in sex shops I have only ever seen ones made to look like dicks
granted I don't go to sex shops often

[Anonymous No.12010523]

>>12006519
But its not cooked at all until well done
>>12006619
I dunno anon isn't that kind of an autistic stance to take

[Anonymous No.12010530]

>>12010520
Is this true? I've never been to a sex shop, but most women even heteros think penises are kind of ugly so I don't know why they would only sell dildos in that shape.

[Anonymous No.12010535]

>>12010530
Fun fact: its mostly men who buy dildoes

[Anonymous No.12010538]

Wife went vegan, I edited a cabbage roll recipe to be vegan (ground beef, rice, and some other stuff rolled up in a parboiled cabbage leaf and baked in a tomato sauce with some other stuff in it). She said it was amazing but that it was too close to actual meat and it made her nauseous, that when she eats the food I make she feels like she's cheating on being vegan even though it's all 100% vegan. And that's bad.

Just venting. Guess I'll make more hipster vegetable bullshit so she can feel vegan instead of just living it. But still, she's really going to hate the seitan mongolian beef I have planned for this week and whatever weird shit I'm going to do with my smoker next week, because eating a vegan meal that close to meat has motivated me to push on despite her objections.

[Anonymous No.12010546]

>>12010484
I'll try the preboiling, higher heat, and more oil. Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.12010548]

>>12010530
I never really paid much attention to the dildo segments but glancing that way it seems so

[Anonymous No.12010594]

>>12010511
they aren't really. a lot of beans you don't even have to soak if you're okay with having an upset stomach. open bag, look for rocks, rinse. place in pot, cover with water. cook until tender. add seasonings.

[Anonymous No.12010600]

>>12010535
this is true.

>>12010530
women mostly buy them online. dudes tend to be more into going to sex shops in person.

>>12010538
your wife is weird dude. the idea is to not eat animals, not turn it into some kinda weird complex. have you experimented with tvp at all? it has a sweetness that makes it less meaty tasting.

[Anonymous No.12010616]

>>12010594
>if you're okay with having an upset stomach
oh thats why
>look for rocks
wow, so all the effort for beans is worth it if i dont want to fucking eat rocks. thank you /ck/

[Anonymous No.12010623]

>>12010616
dude, chill. If you buy dried beans you just give them a quick look over. the sorters sometimes miss a few because tiny rocks are close in size to the beans. although some people would argue that they're not worth it because of the time investment. but that's kinda your call.

[Anonymous No.12010656]

>>12006788
>pls no troll
>feeds the troll anyway, literally the way to confirm that you have been trolled
i love this website

[Anonymous No.12010695]

>>12006617
(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of, "AWOOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) ... Eh hem, you look quite lovely.

[Anonymous No.12010766]

>>12010523
Huh?

[Anonymous No.12010775]

What to cook after masturbation that'll provide me instant energy?

[Anonymous No.12010788]

>>12010775
all food provides you with energy tho.

[Anonymous No.12010790]

>>12010788
You're right, but after eating I feel the urge to sleep.

[Anonymous No.12011171]

>>12010489
He's answering questions you fuckass, go back to your McChicken thread

[Anonymous No.12012220]

I can't remember or find the name of a dish
I was at a restaurant in France and got an appetizer for dinner that was these tiny raviolis in a thick soup that was a little lighter in color than french onion soup, and bread to sop it up
Picture was closest in appearance I could find from google searches, but the sauce was more opaque (creamier?) and the only thing in the soup was the raviolis

[Anonymous No.12013135]

I have some sorbet, should I eat it now or tomorrow?

[quiche !!T2UdrWkLSWB No.12013192]

>>12010114
blitz or chop finely, simmer in a lot of water, then hang in muslin or a sieve, then reduce that in a wide pan
this of course is assuming that the time and energy to to this is somehow worth the implausible difference in price between sugar and dates (which are normally more expensive by far)
gl gg

[Anonymous No.12014621]

Bump

[Anonymous No.12014706]

>>12006788
BUM OR GTFO

[Anonymous No.12014713]

>>12010530
>penises look uglier than gaping holes

oh ok

[Anonymous No.12014717]

>>12006482
being lesbian is inferior so they have to emulate being gay

[Anonymous No.12014797]

>>12010523
>i dunno
shut your weak indecisive ass up. no females allowed thats how it works around here
>>12008973
fuck off you stupid gaping wound. the only reason you told us you were not just a woman but a lesbo was for attention. so dont act all surprised and taken aback when you get a bunch of horny internet freaks attention. now TITS OR GTFO

[Anonymous No.12014812]

>>12014713
Yeah, they do. Have you looked at your horrible veiny thing recently? I'm pretty sure Lovecraft based his entire cosmology on the human penis.

[Anonymous No.12014884]

Are most expiration/use-by dates worthless? My mom was in town and threw away a lot of my spices, sauces, etc., because the use-by date was in 2016.

[Anonymous No.12014897]

>>12006487
DYLAN YOU SON OF A BITCH!

[Anonymous No.12014910]

>>12006479
Every time I eat biscuits and gravy it feels like I just stuffed my stomach with cement.
I usually eat one mean a day, and I like to have scrambled eggs with 2 biscuits and gravy, but the biscuits make it feel like I've eaten a garage.

How do I enjoy b&g without this feeling?

[Anonymous No.12015002]

So many fucking recipes call for chicken broth, am I supposed to eat roast chicken 2-3 times a week just to get to the carcass?

[Anonymous No.12015009]

>>12014910
Gotta use less gravy or live with the discomfort, anon. Maybe make your gravy thinner

[Anonymous No.12015017]

>>12015002
There are some decent boxed broths out there. If you don't wanna do that, carcass is solid but you can just get gelatinous bits of chicken. Feet, wings, make the biggest batch you can, skim the fat and freeze what you won't use within the week. Then you have homemade chicken stock for a while.

[Anonymous No.12015034]

>>12014717
they probably are getting 77/100% of the pleasure they should.
it's also probably the fault of men.

[Anonymous No.12015192]

>>12014797
not the same anon, dude. just found it annoying. lesbo left the roost second they announced it.

>>12014884
kinda depends. for spices, you can still use them safely, but you'll have to increase the amount because they lose flavor over time.

>>12014910
I would eat some kind of leafy green with it, personally.

[Anonymous No.12015200]

>>12014717
Yeah? You ever seen a lesbian orgasm? It's so much more intense you end up feeling bad about even trying to penetrate a woman.

[Anonymous No.12016282]

>>12015200
This is a food and cooking board.

[Anonymous No.12016489]

>>12006479
What's the simplest way to cook pork liver ?

[Anonymous No.12016548]

>>12010490
My hero. Get this thread off the board and stop trying to ruin /ck/. A new thread should be started at the slightest whim. Bonus points if it resembles a blogpost or is started with an anime. Everyone else, stop encouraging OP and go start a new thread.

[Anonymous No.12016662]

>>12015002
you could use vegetable broth as a sub if you want, easier than having to eat chicken all the time for the carcass. Or pad out the chicken with vegetables.

[Anonymous No.12016676]

>>12006788
He wants ass, give him ass. Just not your own.

[Anonymous No.12016680]

>>12015002
You may be able to just buy chicken carcasses. Ask your local butcher. Either way do a huge batch and then freeze in portions.

[Anonymous No.12016696]

>>12014910
You could eat just one biscuit and have the other one later. I know it's not much of "biscuits and gravy" if it's one biscuit, but better than feeling like trash.

[Anonymous No.12016741]

>>12006617
same with men and pussys, yet you don't hear me whine

[Anonymous No.12017079]

>>12015200
That's funny because gay bottom orgasms are stronger and more intense

[Anonymous No.12017308]

Is there any secret technique to browning large amounts of cubed meat? Say for a stew as an example. Doing 20 small batches is horrible and there must be a better way.

[Anonymous No.12017315]

>>12017308
roast in a 500-550F degree oven for 15-20 minutes maybe on a sheet tray instead?

[Anonymous No.12017336]

>>12017315
Wouldnt that just cook it instead of giving it a nice sear?

[Anonymous No.12017678]

>>12006617
So it's not a sexual orientation, you just hate men?

[Anonymous No.12017686]

Why did my Dad leave us?

[Anonymous No.12017869]

>>12017686
Because of this thread

[Anonymous No.12018506]

>>12006479
how do I become a godlike dishwasher while also still being allowed time to be lazy af
give me some speedrun strats for kitchen work

[Anonymous No.12018536]

>>12017678

[Anonymous No.12019013]

How do you get your pizza crust to "taste" like pizza crust?

Last week I tried my hand at making pizza myself. Everything turned out okay, and it was pretty good, but the crust didn't really taste like anything. It was just there. Like a platform for the ingredients rather than a part of the pizza. It didn't taste bad at all, and ended up coming out pretty well (especially since it was my first time baking something like that), but even if it didn't taste bad, it didn't taste all that good either. As in it just wasn't hitting that note that it was supposed to.
Do you guys have any tips on how to improve? I'm giving it another go tomorrow, and I'd like to make it better than last time.

[Anonymous No.12019040]

>>12012220
That sounds really good. Makes me want to make soup and put these in it

[Anonymous No.12019096]

>>12019013
Combine some (olive)oil with garlic, salt and peper and smear that on the crust 5 minutes before its done? Just a guess, but it will add some flavour.

[Anonymous No.12019103]

How do I get a musclegut boyfriend to cook with? (Male here)

[Anonymous No.12019104]

>>12019096
I actually did something similar to that, but it didn't make a difference.
I let the dough cook a bit in the oven, then brushed the whole thing with olive oil, some aromatics and some S+P (with a little brushing of butter around the crust). Then I put the other ingredients on and cooked the pizza the rest of the way.

There honestly wasn't that much of a difference.
I'm thinking I might not have let the dough ferment long enough, as I only gave it about 2 hours. Gonna try letting it sit overnight instead. I think that's one piece of the puzzle.

[Anonymous No.12019108]

>>12019104
https://slice.seriouseats.com/2010/09/the-pizza-lab-how-long-should-i-let-my-dough-cold-ferment.html
Try this

[Anonymous No.12019128]

>>12014897
Nice one

[Anonymous No.12019757]

>>12014812
Looks like an extension of flesh to me. I'm not that scared of tentacles either.

[Anonymous No.12019760]

>>12009967
They're rubbing their clitorises against each other. Most female orgasms are clitoral. Many women have trouble achieving vaginal orgasm, also known as hitting the G spot, and some never experience it.

[Anonymous No.12019765]

>>12019760
wacky

[Anonymous No.12021100]

Im stuck in my home and don't have any meat aside from salmon and tuna. What are some really simple meals to make asside from tuna sandwiches and salmon patties?