Easy Irish stew, anyone?

[Anonymous No.11978129]

So I made Irish stew for my wife because she’d never had it before.
First off, obligatory cat in the kitchen photo.

[Anonymous No.11978134]

No, that picture shows a traditional Chinese stew.

[Anonymous No.11978136]

>>11978129
your cats paws are ready

[Anonymous No.11978139]

That's not authentic Irish stew

[Anonymous No.11978142]

Now, the ingredients. Frenched lamb hind shanks, Dutch cream potatoes, carrots, peas, low salt chicken stock. I used a slow cooker as my oven was designed by imbeciles and can only stay on for 2 hours at a time.
If you have an oven that can be set to 75-85 degrees celsius for an indefinite time, you can do this in a Dutch oven quite easily.

[Anonymous No.11978152]

>>11978142
*and onions god damnit.
Slice the potatoes, about 12-15mm thick.

[Anonymous No.11978154]

Line the bottom of the slow cooker or Dutch oven with sliced potato. As the stew cooks, these will break down, thickening the stock into a sauce.

[Anonymous No.11978159]

>>11978129
That's a noice kitter

[Anonymous No.11978160]

>>11978154
Chop your onion into chunks rougher than the bad touch of a drunken catholic cardinal.

[Anonymous No.11978161]

>>11978134
teehee

[Anonymous No.11978166]

>>11978159
Thanks! His name is Munchie because he chews on stuff like a dog. He’s a Tonkinese, which is half Siamese and half Burmese.

Chuck your onion chunks over the potato.

[Anonymous No.11978176]

Next, cut your carrots extra-chunky and get them onto the onions.
I forgot to add, after you peel potatoes, store them in acidulated water (water with lemon juice or vinegar added). This stops them from oxidising and discolouring.

[Anonymous No.11978186]

So now it’s time to get onto the lamb itself. I’ve used some leftover bacon grease for searing. Some people say to dredge them in seasoned flour before searing but I find this just makes the fat burn, and isn’t needed for Irish stew.

[Anonymous No.11978198]

Brown them well, including on the cut faces.

[Anonymous No.11978207]

Once they’re nicely browned, lay them on the bed of vegetables in the slow cooker or Dutch oven.

[Anonymous No.11978219]

Next, sweep up the peas you spilled because you’ve had a couple of drinks and you forgot the bag was open.

[Anonymous No.11978231]

Add a few good handfuls of peas, and the rest of the potato slices. Add a litre of the low-salt chicken stock. You can also use beef or vege stock if you like, as long as it’s low salt. You can season at this stage, I like few grinds of black pepper, some sea salt, and a couple of bay leaves.

[Anonymous No.11978236]

Cover your future masterpiece, switch the slow cooker on, and wait a few hours.

[Anonymous No.11978249]

>>11978139
Whiter than you, Muhammad.

[Anonymous No.11978256]

While we wait for the stew to cook, here’s my Wife’s cat. He’s a Siamese and he’s dumb as fuck, but he’s very affectionate.

[Anonymous No.11978259]

>>11978129
Is it made of real Irish people?

[Anonymous No.11978269]

>>11978259
Did I list Irish people in the ingredients list? No? Then I guess not.

Anyway, after a couple of hours, the stew will settle right down.

[Anonymous No.11978281]

>>11978269
You’ll notice the minimal discolouration of the potato, this is due to the acidulated water it was in before it was added to the pot.

[Anonymous No.11978311]

Once the meat, bone and top potato has been added to the serving bowls, give the remaining liquid a good stir to break up the potato and thicken the sauce. Ladle some over the meat and veg and you’re done!

Some variations might add some Guinness to the stock, or thicken it with roux, but if you use reasonably floury potato on the bottom, it should thicken up nicely on its own.
This is an easy, low and slow recipe that’s delicious and almost impossible to fuck up. If you’re not used to lamb, it also makes a great introduction as it’s mild and tender.
Cheers anons, if nobody has any questions, I’m out. I hope you try Irish stew for yourself, it’s delicious!

[Anonymous No.11978368]

>>11978236
I thought that was a reagent bottle from Acros Organics in your slow cooler

[Anonymous No.11978370]

Dude don’t put animals on counter tops. Paws are probably some of the most unhygienic things in existence.

[Anonymous No.11978372]

Oh and I’m a famous YouTuber who reviews fifty year old junk food while funposting dank memes. God forbid an actual thread where someone cooks gets nine or ten responses.

[Anonymous No.11978382]

>>11978166
did you really drank 4 cans of beer by the time you diced everything up? How can you have any room left for food?

[Anonymous No.11978386]

>>11978370
He gets up there without help from me, and I clean everything thoroughly before cooking anyway.
I have a bowl of quail quarters marinating in sweet soy, garlic, ginger, onion and oyster sauce at the moment (pic related). Going to grill these and serve with a crunchy Asian salad because my wife’s never had quail either. Might post photos of completed dish if this thread hasn’t been relegated to the shitpile by the rampant funposting hereabouts.

[Anonymous No.11978395]

>>11978382
It’s a rare talent. Like most fat chefs, I combine a love of good food with a superhuman capacity for booze.
I’ll generally go through 2-3 slabs of beer and 1-2 bottles of spirits a week.

[Anonymous No.11978404]

>>11978142
where the hell do you niggas get your shanks? all mine are like 399 a pound

[Anonymous No.11978416]

>>11978404
I live in Tasmania, where lamb isn’t hard to find.
It used to be poor people food here, 20 years ago you could get half a lamb at the supermarket for about $25-$30. These days even shanks are $12-15 a kilo, and good luck getting hind shanks unless you’re in the food service industry like I am.

[Anonymous No.11978432]

>>11978382
I also brew beer and distill spirits, which helps with keeping my blood alcohol up and my bar tab down.

[Anonymous No.11978461]

Asian quail salad- Let’s do this in real time. Preheat oven to 180c, fry off some bacon with a little peanut oil.

[Anonymous No.11978463]

Here’s the mise, salad is pre-prepared.

[Anonymous No.11978466]

Reserve the bacon once crisp, to be chopped for the salad.

[Anonymous No.11978472]

>>11978466
*forgot pic

[Anonymous No.11978477]

Heat frypan to medium heat, and sear off marinated quail in small batches.

[Anonymous No.11978484]

Remember the golden rule- skin side down first! This applies to other proteins like salmon and pork, that have skins you want to be crispy.

[Anonymous No.11978485]

The silver rule: when flipping/turning delicate meat, take it off the heat!

[Anonymous No.11978489]

Lay out your seared quail on a roasting grill, to be finished in the oven.

[Anonymous No.11978497]

Chop your bacon and stick quail on tray into the oven for 5-7 minutes.

[Anonymous No.11978501]

Add crunchy chopped bacon and fried noodle to salad.

[Anonymous No.11978507]

Salad dressed with a mix of mirin, sweet soy, sesame oil and ponzu.

[Anonymous No.11978530]

Pile that salad up ready for the quail.

[Anonymous No.11978544]

Stack quail on salad, sprinkle on some sesame seeds for class, and prepare for thank-you sex!

[Anonymous No.11978558]

I like your kitchen and your style. Keep posting

[Anonymous No.11978649]

>>11978558
Thanks amigo, but dinner is over. I’ll post more in the future, keep an eye out for shitty fake Kashmir granite bench tops and lots of beer cans/bottles.

[Anonymous No.11978669]

Came here to read the copypasta and was disappointed.

[Anonymous No.11978676]

Looking good, OP. Thanks for sharing.
I've got half a mind to get a cat just for cooking pics.

[Anonymous No.11978679]

are you lost? this is the fast food board

[Anonymous No.11978690]

>>11978676
Siamese, Burmese and Tonks are the patrician choice of cat (as long as they’re from the British line, American lines are overbred for characteristics). They’re intelligent (for cats anyway), affectionate, vocal and playful.

[Anonymous No.11979578]

>>11978669

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

[Anonymous No.11979582]

>>11978669

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

[Anonymous No.11979590]

>>11978129
Irish stew is literally just booze.

[Anonymous No.11979596]

>>11978256
your wife has a very nice cat. does it sleep with your wife's son?

just fuckin with ya m8 nice recipe might actually try it, appreciate the effort posting

[Anonymous No.11979620]

>>11979578
>>11979582
Everytime I read this, I still hope it's real.

[Anonymous No.11979644]

>>11979578
>>11979582
First time I've ever actually read through this entire pasta. The dude sounds like an autist, I get that he's irritating as fuck and his company fucks up everybody's fun, but it isn't like he's deliberately being an ass hole. I get it that they were probably just inviting him out of courtesy, and that he should've been respectful, but he didn't realise he wasn't, and it's upon them to put up with it or at least retract his invitation politely.

[Anonymous No.11979646]

>>11978129
Using the metric system, drinking old mil. What are you op?

[Anonymous No.11979701]

>>11978544
Hard(sort of) boiled quail eggs are pretty awesome, try to get some of those next time. A Brasilian friend turned me onto those as something to try from a good churrasco salad bar, those and articoke hearts. Never gorge yourself on the salad bar, save it for the meats.

[Anonymous No.11979748]

>>11979646
I’m an Australian who doesn’t mind cheap beer, yes we get PBR and Old Mil here.

[Anonymous No.11979789]

>>11979582
While this is fake and boring, if it were real, I can imagine that the host had repressed months or years of anger at the guest, and he finally couldn't take his shit anymore.

[Anonymous No.11979798]

>>11978129
With fresh ingredients, yes?

[Anonymous No.11980292]

>>11979798
Well, the peas were frozen and the chicken stock was store bought, but other than that, yes.

[Anonymous No.11980300]

>>11978485
Why aren't you using tongs?

[Anonymous No.11980318]

Great thread, OP.

[Anonymous No.11980356]

>>11979582
>(they are unmarried but live together)
every time

[Anonymous No.11980371]

My Grandad was from Ireland and his two dishes he loved to make were Irish stew and poached eggs on toast.

My lasting memory of him and his cooking is that he loved black pepper. I can't even explain how much he would use. If you had a spice cabinet, he had a black pepper cabinet. It was the only thing he seasoned his food with apart from salt.

When he served you up a bowl of stew he would finish it off by shaking a load of black pepper over the top. The heat from the stew would rise up through the pepper and hit your nostrils.

He did the same thing with poached eggs on toast. They always came served with a dusting of ground black pepper. Delicious.

[Anonymous No.11980483]

>>11980371
Your grand dad is my nigger.

[Anonymous No.11980965]

>>11978219
Lol.
>>11979644
>>11979789
Host being a drunken asshole, but the OP is literally socially retarded.

[Anonymous No.11980996]

>>11978129
>Cat on counter
>Obligatory

[Anonymous No.11981015]

>>11979578
>>11979582
Cheers for that, mate.

[Anonymous No.11981029]

>>11978129
>cat in kitchen
Dumb faggot redditor. Anyway it's not hard
>mutton
>carrots
>potato
Stew them. Done. Though beef is much more popular here now.

[Anonymous No.11981199]

>>11980300
I'll tong your mom's ass hole

[Anonymous No.11982468]

>>11978129
>lamb and quail
Are you from flinders island?

[Anonymous No.11982554]

>>11978269
Then what's the point? It's hardly Irish if there are none in it.

[Anonymous No.11982719]

>>11979578
there we go

[Anonymous No.11983070]

>>11982468
No.

[Anonymous No.11983088]

>>11978256
You're in some kinda awesome cat heaven, jealous for me but happy for you :)

[Anonymous No.11983177]

>>11978129
they have PBR in Australia? what the fuck?

[Anonymous No.11983404]

>>11983177
Why wouldn't we? I'm sure there are Australian beers in the US (Fosters doesn't count).

[Anonymous No.11984509]

>>11983404

not that im aware of, at least not on the east coast of the US

>checked
yep
https://www.totalwine.com/beer/australia/c/001369

[Anonymous No.11984531]

Enjoy your Toxoplasmosis

[Anonymous No.11984677]

>>11984509
You should try that Coopers pale ale, it’s a nice drop.

[Anonymous No.11985949]

>>11978690
>Siamese, Burmese and Tonks are the patrician choice of cat
I can affirm this, Siamese especially truly are the best. I have a bluepoint that looks very similar to yours