/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11970722
I'd walk out and leave if that was served

>>11970722
at 0:06 I left out a hearty chuckle.
>Here's your dessert you fat piece of shit.
That's very retarded. You can see in the way they're throwing the stuff half randomly that the cooks are fed up with this bullshit.

Anyone got the webm with the guy who makes egg sanwich? Asking for friend

>>11970739

do you really think these 'chefs' dont consider themselves these amazing artists? The customer who ordered this travesty didnt create or invent it. These fucks did.

>>11970772
>no mutts
>no fat girl
>no poverty
>no black people
Least american webm i ever saw

>>11970773
The pretentious head chef maybe, these are drones.

>>11970773
learn how kitchen work

>>11970792
Learn how write english

>>11970792
The restaurant in the webm is Alinea. Those cooks most likely do consider themselves hot shits.

>>11970772

I know these have always been fake...but they are SO fake now its infuriating.

Im talking about the burger and the hot chick taking a bite out of it. Just watching how CG it is in this commercial is fucking disgusting.

>>11970788
The last guy who dumps the meringue or whatever is Grant Achatz, the creator/troll-in-chief of Alinea.

>>11970789
It's public knowledge his daughters only date whites. What are the odds the get off on getting MAGA dick?

>>11970765

>>11970785
at first I thought I wanted the audio, then I found out how wrong I truly was.

>>11970739

Yes and no, you can see that before he throws the shit down that he realigns himself to a particular spot.

I don't doubt that they are told to throw the shit in a particular manner based off of that alone, but you can tell by their expressions that they absolute hate doing it.

>>11970980
Is that some school dining hall?

>>11970722
>if it's absurd that means it's top quality
Webms like this make me want to die

>>11970989

I'm always fascinated by the degeneracy of some chefs. There is a whole restaurant that serves food like this in Japan. Why would anyone want to eat something served like this? I don't understand the appeal for the same kind of things that are supposed to be for kids enjoyment like candy. Do people really like acting like they're doing something gross?

>>11970722
>This shit gets 3 stars
Marco was right. Michelin are hacks.

>>11970829
do you lonely fags make this up to feel better about achieving nothing in life

>>11970846
Wait, is he just trapped in there? kek

>>11971016
There is a popular baby shower game where they smear chocolate into babies diapers and you have to try and guess what chocolate it is by licking it

People are disgusting.

>>11971016
>Why would anyone want to eat something served like this?
It's novel and fun

saturday, ~8pm britbongtime

/ck/ vs /u/ round of 16

watch the surly king and the boys beat up the lesbians (again)

>>11971031
Look up their boyfriends. Then feel dumb.

>>11970722
look at that fag with his telephone lol. fuck food and fuck technology 2bh

>>11971041
>they licked chocolate how disgusting
Jesus the autists on this board

>>11970789
counter girl>those two fucking giraffes

>>11971045
GTFO, what can't you make in FIFA? that shit is hillarious.

>>11970722
>throwing random shit on a table
that'll be 99.99 plus tip

>>11971084
The price at that restaurant is actually 360 dollars per customer.

>>11971042

I don't get it, shit like this isn't fun to me, it's just gross/stupid.

>>11970813

Chef Achatz at the end, but the first two guys in the webm are simon davies and mike bagale, exec chef and exec sous.
I have staged at alinea ama

>>11970829
malia thots it up at Bijou in Boston all the time. But shes pretty anti trump. But yes she only dates white guys from Harvard. Have seen her out once before it was hilarious when the bounces realized who she was and quickly escorted her out.

>>11970722
that will be 115.75 plus tip

>>11971045
Fingers crossed, /u/ is looking composed this year.

>>11971171
but why

>>11970772

Who the fuck eats a burger with one hand?

>>11971417
Alinea is a lot more expensive than that.

>>11970722
You think people would still order this dish if there was no social media to share a Video of it?

This perfectly displays that what (much) money buys you is just to improve your status in society.

Well played menkind!!

>>11970722
*dabs on non 3 star Michelin losers*

>>11971516
If I recall, the woman in the video is british and this is meant as a PSA to show how "easy" it is to cook without using one of them bloody knoives that can be used to cut a bloke

>>11971635
god is there anything more disgusting than the british?

>>11971061
No I would say the disgusting part was actually putting it in a diaper. Who fucking eats out of a diaper meant for babies to shit in??

>>11971635
How fucking gullible are you?

>>11970722
You can sometimes get lucky and get this experience in a much cheaper restaurant by announcing from the start that you don't intend to tip.

>>11972355
Heh

>>11970722
Guy on the right is holy as fuck.

>>11970923
Jesus. Those Indian nukes can't come soon enough.

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1551399534247.webm

>>11972448
I want to get mad at this but I've been to The Melting Pot so I don't think I have room to talk

>>11972400
>dwarf_fortress_tutorial.webm

>>11970846
How did he get out without breaking the eggs?

>>11971635
You got a loicense for dem teef?

>>11970851
Can anyone explain this to me ?

>>11972448
>We're getting there, SIR

>>11972590
Christ I laugh out loud every time

>>11972590
I'm pretty impressed by the waiter's forbearance, especially considering this is probably course 10 of 20.

>>11971061
Can smell the projection from here you incel.

>>11972590
As someone who would never eat in a car, this triggers me. I'm triggered

>>11970722
Is that a fucking UFO above his head?

>>11970722
Is that even food?

>>11970772
She looks familiar

>>11970722
>thatll be $300 please!

>>11971522
Men and women that know their way around a piece of meat

>>11971016
>Japan
Pretty sure that's in Taiwan

>>11972448
jesus christ listen to the utter plebeians and soidrones at that table

americans are truly the worst

>>11971045
What game and platform is this?

>>11971045
I'm already pumped. Where's it being streamed?

>>11973379

>>11971528
Nah, it's really not unless you're also getting wine.

>>11973095
MO BUTTA MO BETTA AMIRITE BROSEPH STALIN?
Like I get that they're excited by it but jesus christ I can't imagine sitting down and tolerating that obnoxious shit for a full multi-course meal. Just shut up and let me enjoy my nice meal

>>11973379
Can someone get me the recipe?

>>11970739
>>11970773
>>11970959
it's actually all part of the act. A lot of the "rich life" is making fun of yourself, while also making fun of the people who make fun of you. We dance around pretending to be the "slave cooks" that you all think we own, meanwhile presenting ourselves as if we don't care about our job, or that we don't care what we are doing and those shit eating elites will just soak it up because they're rich.
>Meanwhile, what we're actually getting payed for is to process mass amounts of vegetables into edible foam that you can survive off of.

The whole thing is just an act to both entertain ourselves at work, and to make you smile when you get out from your job.

>>11970722
i say we take off and nuke this entire restaurant from orbit

>>11970722
everyone in this video needs to be killed

>>11970851
I love everything about this webm

>>11971045
You gotta be fucking with me ahahahaha

>>11970785
this is the weirdest hypno vid i've ever watched

>>11970785
andy ruse who directed MDE world peace and is buds with those guys, directed this video

>>11973513
is that fucking zangetsu

>>11970722
tfw you've never tasted gator meat

>>11974111
Those cashiers are like little goblins summoned to serve a sorcerer.

>>11970722
I wonder what it's like to constantly see everything before you replicated on a tiny screen. The more interesting you find something, the less likely you are to see it in life size. It must be interesting to live that way.

>>11973110
https://implyingrigged.info/wiki/Main_Page
Links are on the page, 4chan cup is great and I am thankful of whoever it is who does this shit

>>11974155
>stroggification

>>11972590
But why? WHY?

>>11972448
America was a mistake.

>>11974187
It helps keep the gears lubricated when you're leaking transmission fluid.

>>11974111

>>11972448
The guy in the red sweater talks too much. He's the kind of guy I hate to be around.

>>11974155
Though I am amazed by the machinery and the technical skill behind it's creation, it just feels... Wrong.

>>11974115
This fake right? Otherwise I can't work this out.

>>11974205
Blowing compressed air into it perhaps? I can't figure it out.

>>11974205
Sprinkle some salt on a freshly slaughtered piece of meat and you get moving meat.

>>11972448
Fuck that

>>11974205
>>11974206
Fresh meat

>>11972448
This is how I imagine redditors are in real life

>>11974111
Maybe if you didn't eat women portions and drink pineapple juice you'd smash like the chad over there

this webm upset me even more than the retards yelling bacon

>>11974210
I'm 99.9% sure this is not true.

>>11973513
fuckin hated these guys in dark souls 3

>>11974230
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6djv_WZ98g4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b79loRYPPBQ
It happens with very freshly butchered meat too.

>>11970772
>>11970772
The whole "girl takes a bite and a loud crunch sound happens" shit in commercials always pissed me off. This burger has chips in it but they did the same fucking sound for the ones that were just lumps of meat. Also, these chicks never actually eat them. Every time I see some thot posting about something they're "eating" they take a bite but don't show them actually eating it. Fuck off.

>>11970772
It's funny how even the burger is CG.

>>11970785
"It looks like deep fried shit"
Those subliminal messages won't work on me.

>>11970980
NPC thought process.

>>11974246
imagine being so upset over a commercial

>>11970851
what episode is this from?
i dont want to watch through that shitty fake cops shit again just to find that part where sensai flips the sush from black hos tush

>>11974246
But there's no sound in it, anon. You're imagining things.

>>11972494
it's photoshopped

>>11970785
ISIS was right all along.

>>11973759
the fuck are you talking about

>>11974230
I'm 99.9% sure you're an elementary school dropout

>>11970846
I hope he's doing alright.

>>11971055
How the fuck do you manage to be the boyfriend of the presidents daughter? like how the hell does that happen?

>>11970772
Made me laugh.

>>11974421
You say "looking good, ladies" and then walk away.

>>11974111
Who is the target audience? Mega cucks?

>>11971045
>called eggfort and not surly
what a fucking waste

>>11974418

requesting webm of a mexican restaurant lady packing food into a little plastic container then dumps it all into another at the end

>>11974111
God these people want to be white so badly

>>11974401
it's deepfried to shit and so is the food

>>11972448
why not just serve it already finished?

>>11974111
What the fuck is this shit

>>11970772
usa usa usa usa

>>11974144
Shit looks interesting. Been on 4chan for over a decade but never heard about it. Watched some previous tournaments, but why does it feel so reddit?

>>11972448
OR I could just have a normal fucking bowl of New England clam chowder and enjoy it more than this whole pretentious shitshow.

>>11974835
how have you never heard of it if youve been lurking that long. the /pol/ v /lgbt/ matchup is infamous

>>11974835
>10 years
>never heard of it
You're either lying or this is the 3rd or 4th website you check every day. You have no place to call it reddit

>>11970846
I hope he's enjoying his lunch

>>11973379
Wheres the rest of the vid

>>11974854
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4

fucking italians, man.

>>11974847
>>11974849
I browsed /his/ for most of my time. From what I've read, /his/ is terrible so maybe that's why I never have.

>>11974879
>Oscar winning movie features a scene where a man sits alone eating an entire cheese pizza

>>11974879
Based king of Gondor

>>11974879

oh my god THE CRUMBS ARE EVERYWHERE

>>11974913
art imitates life, anon
this is standard procedure in america in case you didn't know

>>11973513
Holy fuck
The master turk with his mega sword

>>11972448
>Oh wow

>>11975032
Not only did he fuck up the fish but he probably burned his hands too? How stupid are you

>>11971384
And leftist women have sex fantasies involving conservative or even straight up misogynist men. This isn't new information.

>>11975032
>I'll just fucking throw the fish. That'll work.

>>11971056
busy filming that shit.

>>11975032
pls delet

>>11970773
Amazing con artists. "Guys, got a fail-proof business plan. We throw all the shit on the table with as much flair as you can muster, break, spill, dump toppings on that, and we charge the suckers $300 per meal. The pretentious idiots are gonna love it!"

>>11975032
Is this 3rd world Jack

>>11970772
You couldn't make this commercial today.

>>11975032
fucking Jack

>>11970980
>Sony unveils the PlayStation 4

>>11971045
/ck/ will find a way

>>11970722
why the FUCK do people have to FILM EVERYTHING instead of ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING IT these days!!!!! REeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>11974198
Second

>>11974893
/his/ was added in 2015.

>>11974893
/his/ sucks. It's western centric /pol/lite

>>11970980
I'm an American and I'm just going to get this out of the way. Do Americans really?

>>11971670
No.

>>11974155

>>11971171
>Just white people thingz

>>11975060
There's a big difference between a fantasy and actually doing something.

>>11971107
Some people like watching sport. Some people don't. Some people like dancing. Some people don't. Some people like anal. Some people don't. There's a possibility that things you don't like can be liked by other people.

>>11975953
People who have never done anything wouldn't know that.

>>11975120

>>11970789
it's like any anime ever

>>11974101
looks good. meat looks similar to chicken

>>11974111
WAIT WTF
HE GETS KEKED AT THE END?
AHAHAHHAA

>>11975149
>lets enjoy the humiliation

>>11973911
>that get
>palindrome 9/11
What does it mean?

>>11974835
because threads about 4cc outside of /vg/ and /wsg/ get shutdown for being off topic

>>11974111
>2 piece spicy Chickenjoy with extra rice
How much rice is standard? Why would you want more?

>>11971751
who gives a fuck as long as a baby hasn't actually shat in it

>>11973084
You're both wrong
Its India

>>11976233
Confirmed for having never tasted a diaper. Opinion discarded.

>>11976246
why did you taste a diaper lol

>>11974220
You're not wrong, at all. They have to constantly make their current status of feeling known.

>>11970789
>it's a """white""" Popsicle

>>11974756

How does he get out?

>>11976302
It's duckface for the infertile.

>>11976302
they just can't help themselves! it's incredible

>>11976299
He sells all the eggs.

>>11970722
>fuck you, pay me

>>11976302
I hope that was a soy latte.

>>11976302
Jesus fucking christ...

>>11976302
>>11976549

>>11976410
beat me to it

>>11976302
>technology used for fun instead of the wholesale destruction of the planet
I can get behind that!

>>11972448
this is the perfect webm to summarize what modern ''fine dining'' and michellin cooking is, and the kind of audience that it caters to

>ridiculously convoluted and unnecessary cooking methods
>bizarre ingredients and flavor combinations
>dumb and overly flashy ''presentation''
>weirdly reverent and ritualistic

all to get a few claps from an american soi mouth

thatll be $400 please!

>>11974346
The video isn't real you shithead.

>>11970722
>has an amazing experience in front of him
>chooses to keep his phone in front of his face to show his friends

What a fucking faggot

>>11976302
will they let me spread my ass cheeks on the counter and take a pic?

>>11974111
AHAHAHA! I love it.

>>11974101
Is this primitive technology?

>>11974733
it says Surly King on his sgirt though
>>11975123
thank god we finally got some revenge on them this cup

this run has been an entire revenge tour so far anyway (beating /gd/,and relegating /r9k/and /mu/)

>>11974809
tableside service is meant 'to help bring the customer into the dining experience'
aka prove you went to a fancy place with well-trained front-of-house staff, and wow and ooh anyone so weak of mind that they marvel at the idea that food is made by human hands

>>11976302
The stereotypes confirm themselves.

>>11970722
May as well just go out back and eat out of the dumpster at this point

>>11976773
This is the recipe equivalent of saying you're 5% Native american

>>11974124
Ya same

>>11976840
It's not even a stereotype anymore, I guarantee you that guy has a nintendo switch, a vasectomy, and a boyfriend (black) for his wife.

>>11976987
Couple of years of eating like that and her hands will be fatter than they already are.

>>11975032
Assuming he's not drunk, I'll never understand people like this. How do you reach adulthood without developing some understanding of how the physical world works?

>>11976745
Honestly I know it's >16 but how the fuck did /ck/ come back from that deficit?

>>11974401
mmm, jpeg artifacts

>>11970785
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv7jAK7KUcY

>>11972448
>more bacon, more betta!

>>11974946
>caring about crumbs in a motel bed

>>11976275
>>11974220
And they all somehow know how the internet talks at all times. I wish I could put it to words, they don't talk like people. They talk like posts. My sister does that, and all I want to do when she does is kick her down a flight of stairs.

>>11973379
That's not how you make a pizza bottom.

>>11976987
Honestly, this would be good for making several small sandwiches and just using different sandwich ingredients like spinach instead of lettuce and prosciutto instead of bacon.

>>11972488
im not sure anyone else understood that, but I did. Its exactly like that trying to learn how to play that fucking game. I do what they do in a jewtube tutorial step by step, yet my interface is a jumbled wingdings mess even worse than vanilla, and all my dwarfs do is walk around no matter what I try or jobs I give them, meanwhile, the tutorial guy is talking slowly and makes it look so easy, "see? now they are building the walls."
Its exactly like that chopsticks bullshit.
Fuck.

Its also like that watching a tutorial on how to use a capture device for a vidya game. Its always some kid from New Zealand for some reason "you see, you just plug it iiin and it wuuuurks." yet it doesnt fucking work.
FUCK.

>>11974879
Can you actually order a pizza and have them not slice it just so you can eat it like that?

>>11977347
I've already conceded without trying that I'm too retarded to play dwarf fortress.

>>11977379
It's one less thing they have to do. Of course you can.

>>11970722
What a load of fucking bullshit.
All that, then the last thing is "slap this big fucking thing on EVERYTHING AND RUIN THE CUNT AHAHAHA".
I love food but hate chefs.

>>11972448
>potato salad with whipped clam chowder

>>11974126
>Using reincarnate after getting ganked.webm

>>11973513
curved

>>11972716
>>11972917
>>11971031
>>11971064
>>11971522
>>11971627
>>11972594
>>11973714
>>11973759
>>11974101
>>11974232
>>11974252
>>11974281
>>11974364
>>11974421
>>11974849
>>11974946
>>11975713
>>11976047
>>11976661
>>11976696
>>11977130
>>11977405

>>11977379
Yeah, put it in the prep notes.

>>11977419
>buzzfeed

>>11977411
You showed them....

>>11976291
I get the urge to share my white popsicle with a qt black chick

>>11977419
Ive seen them make worse content

>>11977556

>>11973759
Lay off the dumb-fuck juice fren

>>11977411
At first I was going to say you just replied to every post, but all those are actually completely Reddit.

>>11977557
>Iran
>Drunk
I'm pretty sure Muslims don't drink.

>>11977557
Gayfeed presents how soifag prepares food that is eaten by drunk faggots from all over the world.

>>11977635
It's buzzfeed, they have made an entire company based on making shit up.

>>11977682
Buzzfeed is a respected news source.

>>11977685
now you've played yourself

>>11977685
>>11977557
Feels like I'm watching a rip off of this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-gjywJN6tA

>>11977411
thanks for the (You)

>>11971219
was the pay good?
did you have any memorable customers (for humorous or bitchy reasons, idgaf about celebs)

>>11977737
A stage is a working job interview. I doubt he got paid.

>>11970806

do you expect actual fight jets and aircraft carriers in the hudson bay for a fucking burger commercial

>>11977747
gross

>>11974124

>>11977852
He doesn't even drink the Pepsi. Also the whole disease idea was retarded.

>>11974202
unironically this
with mechanized butchery I just kind of get the implicit message is that it doesn't actually matter what is being butchered, and it's only a matter of time until

>>11972494
He uses the eggsit.

>>11970722
>That ending
Laughed for the first time all week. Fucking hell.

>>11970785
Marx was right.

>>11977383
>>11977347
It's not actually that bad, guys. Follow the starter's guides on the wiki, that's how I learned.

>>11977856
yeah that movie was fucking awful, but I have to admit the doll-count building edge was a scene that I found really cool and I'm still sad 2 got cancelled because I would watch literally anything with fincher directing.

>>11977635
I'm Iranian and lots of us drink but you're right you can not lwgally buy alcohol in the country but most do anyway.

>>11971056
>>11975072
>>11970722
>>11975149
>Food made for Instagram

This is the faggotry the human species allowed to happen all captured on the same technology that dooms man.
This is why China numba 1 and Russia numba 2 now.

>>11978293
It's really annoying eating with people and they get mad when I dig into MY food that I ordered because they wanted to get a shot of everyone's food together

>>11978293
Ah yes, I love China.

>>11977123
Because the virgin early lead couldn't compete with the chad comeback.
>tfw I'm out today so can't watch

>>11978305
you sure showed him with your propaganda disguised as sketch comedy

>>11978293
Chinks are exactly the same you retard. It's just they post their shit on their own corner of the internet. Russia is irrelevant and 95% of it is a 3rd world shithole and only US media drums them up because of the Russian bots meme.

>>11976773
>6 tablespoons of seasoning for 1 cup of rice

>>11978322
>Chinks are exactly the same in a state of censorship where media is tightly controlled to keep people in line
>Russian government don't do work everyday
>being this dead American

>>11978325
Yes they are exactly the same when it comes to filming daily personal shit for no good reason. This has nothing to do with censorship, media control or government whatsoever.
Russian government do work to make themselves rich and bark at their neighbors like an uppity chihuahua to fake strength to the population
I'm half Russian and live in Eastern Europe.

>>11978339
>Eastern European opinions on Russia and China
Obviously you have too much propaganda to know your head from your ass

>>11978351
I don't think you understood what he was saying, retard-kun.

>>11975953
Except that it has been known for decades that women prefer. Don't believe me? 30 seconds of Google.

Jesus, this shit is getting to you HARD. It bothers you this much? I would be so ashamed to get so utterly triggered over Obama's daughters preferring white dick.

>>11971031
yeh

>>11971016
Japanese brains have radiation damage

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1551516401299.webm

Can someone tell gook moot to add sound to the board?

>>11977856
>everyone takes a meatless piece except one
>picks off pepperoni

What did they mean by this?

>>11970722

>>11978566
>>11978570

>>11978566
I would piss in this shit and let my wife eat this mess.

>>11977404
>Spaghetti McBolognese
amazin

>>11971075
its not fifa retard

>>11976666
>>bizarre ingredients and flavor combinations
None of those were in the webm. They were prepared overly flashy and convoluted, sure. But all of those flavors matched pretty well and none of the ingredients were all that exotic.

>>11976773
the real tragedy here is not using the dry hand wet hand technique for breading and not using one hand but both hands for every fucking job! imagine being this stupid out loud.

>>11973513
i hate this man

>>11977852
Fast zombies are cancer.

>>11971516
It's "comedy"

>>11975032
jack is a lifestyle not a crime

>>11974111
Expected a taiwanese life insurance commercial end

>>11978449
You just sound weird. I'm going by life experience. You're going by Google. Or maybe you're being satirical. Sometimes I fail to detect that. That's my fault, not yours.

>>11978570
>>11978566
I'm not as annoyed by these, but they do not consider the possibility that a guest might sneeze.

>>11972917
>rental

>>11978704
Fucking turn your head away and cover your mouth when you sneeze you germ spreading POS

>>11977685
I'm willing to call chess a sport, but chessplayers are not fucking athletes.

>>11976987
>>11977419
>>11977490

>>11977685
>lebron
>chicken rice vegetables
my man

>>11978704
I'm not that mad at it but the worst is just purely aesthetically, it look like shit

>>11974056
Zangetsu is a straight sword, not a gay sword

>>11977404
>scottish twist
saw that coming

>>11977347
Game isn't that hard really.

>>11970772
I'd letter her suck on my penis, if you know what I mean

>>11977861
u-until w-what? Anon??

>>11971522
>with

cannibals

>>11978957
sir why are you doing this to me

>>11978961
no harm in having some fun

>>11978957
All that's missing is a scimitar

full of protein

>>11978697
Thailand, dumb ass.

>>11979041
can i see a webm of someone purchasing and fucking eating this shit like how is it possible

>>11972590
The worst thing is that it's a fucking automatic.

>>11977557
>that chips & cheese
Literally only 1 correct ingredient, it's chips with some grated cheddar on top. Anything else is blasphemy.

>>11970980
all parties in this webm need to be executed in the most painful way possible

>>11977557
>guaranteed angry replies

>>11979979
>replying with a witty comment in a dead thread

>>11977347
nigger dwarf fortress isn't even hard just slowly play out a fort and wrap up your head around z-levels concept

/ck/ vs /u/ in the Ro16
40 minutes from now

>>11979553