/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11962166]

Scones are the worst fucking pastry next to baklava

[Anonymous No.11962194]

[Anonymous No.11962233]

They're not a pastry at all.

[Anonymous No.11962240]

>>11962166
>They made a scone out of a frickin' squash!

[Anonymous No.11962598]

extremely shit thread, perhaps one of the worst

[Anonymous No.11962615]

>>11962240
Absolutely based anon

[Anonymous No.11962943]

>>11962166
Scones are great

[Anonymous No.11962962]

only the british could have such a mutilated palette that they could call these dry, crumbly and flavourless abominations a "pastry"

[Anonymous No.11962991]

>>11962943

>clotted cream

Bong trying to trigger Ameribongs.

[Anonymous No.11963038]

>>11962240
That's amazing, it blows my mind!

[Anonymous No.11963043]

>>11962166
That is not a scone I have ever experienced. >>11962943 is a scone. Scones are delicious.

[Anonymous No.11963050]

Turkish Delight is nasty. The chronicles of narnia lied to me.

[Anonymous No.11963133]

>>11962943
Good shit. Cream on first is the only way

[Anonymous No.11963164]

>>11963050
Shit taste.

[Anonymous No.11963175]

Recently made blueberry scones.

I like them best with a yeast dough. The key is letting them rise a fairly long time on the second rise once shaped.

I used dried blueberries soaked in hot water (then drained) to rehydrate them.

Also made clotted cream (ultrapasteurized cream works AOK imho) in a slow cooker 8-12 hours on low will usually do it, let refrigerate, then separate the top layer (that's ur clotted cream).

[Anonymous No.11963189]

My nabour had a stand were he sold honey. one night while i was drunk i opend the jars a stuck my dick in them

[Anonymous No.11963233]

for me

[Anonymous No.11963243]

scones I can understand, traditional scones are dry bland bullshit and I don't understand why the english would make such a thing
baklava is insanely good and you need to fuck off with that heresy

[Anonymous No.11963299]

>>11962991

Why would that trigger amerifats?

[Anonymous No.11963304]

>>11962166
I'd consider baklava more of a confection

[Anonymous No.11963362]

>>11962166
Retard.

[Anonymous No.11963445]

>>11962166
>baklava
You shit your whore mouth.

[Anonymous No.11963472]

>>11963304
Baklava uses thin layers of phyllo dough. It's a pastry.

[Anonymous No.11963480]

>>11963362
bruh i'm fucking drooling

[Anonymous No.11963489]

>>11962166
>baklava
that stuff is pretty good if it's made right.

[Anonymous No.11963505]

>>11963489
Two cups of tea to this guy.

[Anonymous No.11963551]

>>11963299

They call those biscuits, then the bong will say "oi dems not biscuits deese is biscuits dry are." posting a picture of cookies, then the Ameribong will say they're cookies, to which the bong will say no those are biscuits etc etc etc.

[Anonymous No.11963592]

>>11962166
Mexican baked "goods" are way worse.

[Anonymous No.11963624]

>>11963133

No you have to mix the cream and jam together first.

[Anonymous No.11963647]

>>11962166
>shit-talking baklava
You're right about scones being trash though.

[Anonymous No.11963651]

For me, its a homemade cheese scone
Made these last week, they are pretty easy to make compared to most other baked goods, if any anons want a run down on the recipe let me know

[Anonymous No.11963887]

>>11963651
Tell me about it.

[Anonymous No.11964920]

>>11963362
>>11963445
>muzzie tissue paper drowning in syrup
y-yeah baklava is g-good guys..

[Anonymous No.11964957]

>>11963472
Yeah but it's also full of nuts and spices and literally soaked in honey. It's probably closest to being a pie but at any rate it's closer to candy than it is to a scone.

[Anonymous No.11964982]

Scones and baklava are fine. Jam tarts are the shittest pastry.

[Anonymous No.11964991]

Pain au chocolat is the goat pastry.

[Anonymous No.11965024]

>>11964982
>Jam tarts are the shittest pastry.
Jam tarts are god-tier if they're done right but they're easy to fuck up.

[Anonymous No.11965038]

100% agree on how shit, dry, and overrated scones are, but baklava ain't that bad.

[Anonymous No.11965256]

>>11962962
They’re exactly what Americans call a ‘biscuit’, De’Andravious Jackson III.

[Anonymous No.11965482]

>>11964920
>faggot on a computer drowning in semen

[Anonymous No.11965497]

>>11964982
They're pretty good for "oh I have left over pastry and the oven is already hot" fare.

[Anonymous No.11965966]

Shut your whore mouth about baklava.

[Anonymous No.11966218]

>>11965966
Chew tissue paper and squirt syrup in your mouth. It's exactly the same experience

[Anonymous No.11966511]

>>11963887
Cheese scone recipe for the beginner baker

This makes about 300g of food, perfect amount for a nice meal

Note: im not 100% sure on some of these ingredient quantities, after making them 10000 times its just a feeling, practice makes perfect


Ingredients:
>1 cup self raising flour(~150g) + more for kneading. if you only have plain flour, add 2 teaspoons of baking powder to it
>30g butter
>Grated cheese(maybe 60g? Idk hard to measure once it's grated)
>Milk
>Salt, 2 teaspoons

Optional extras to spice it up:
>Paprika
>Chives
>Any other spices you like
>Fried off bacon bits (very indulgent)
>Finely diced chilis

Preheat oven to 160 fan force

Put flour in a large bowl

Add in the salt, any spices you want, quick mix

Cut up butter into smallish bits, add to flour

Use your fingers to crush the butter into the flour, break it up. This should make a fine breadcrumb after a few minutes.(look at that pic related crumb shot, hngg)

Add most of the cheese into the bowl, give it a quick mix

[Anonymous No.11966520]

>>11966511
Dissolve some Marmite in a little water and pour it over the top when you take them out of the oven.

[Anonymous No.11966522]

>>11966511
Now get a chopping board and cover it with a layer of flour, maybe ~quarter of a cup at the start but you can add more if the dough is sticking

Take your dough out of the bowl and put it on the board

This is the now the hardest bit. If the dough is sticking to the board add more flour down

You gotta knead it, the best way is to:
Fold in half
Push down
Rotate 90 degrees
Repeat for a few minutes, once you get the hang of it it's really fast. gif related, not me but it good simple technique. this step is important, it gives the scone its texture

[Anonymous No.11966530]

>>11962166
Scones aren't pastries

[Anonymous No.11966563]

>>11966522

Now punch that dough down. Use your hand to roughly flatten it out. Use a rolling pin if you have one, not really needed if you are making it for yourself though and dont mind it being a bit rough.
If you are eating this by yourself and you dont care how it looks, it's done! Put it on a lightly greased tray, sprinkle a light layer of cheese on top and put it in oven for ~16 minutes.

Wa-la
Eat while hot. pic related, looks shit but use the tip below to make it look good, pic is from last week when i was lazy sorry

Sharing scones: good for when you have people over or want them to look nice
Once you finish flattening out the dough(preferably with rolling pin, otherwise just make sure its as even as possible), get a round glass. Use this as a cutter to get circles of the dough out of the big flat dough. After cutting all the circles out you can, you can roll up the cutaway bits from the circles, do a quick knead and flatten again, and repeat until you are out of dough. Put all the circles on the tray so they are touching, sprinkle cheese on top and put in oven. Because these are smaller scones then the large meme, cook for only 14 or 15 minutes

>>11966520
interesting idea, can you explain what this aims to do? ill give it a go next time

[Anonymous No.11966570]

>>11964920
There you're not eating proper baklava you flaming faggot.

[Anonymous No.11966579]

>>11966563
It just adds a delicious salty yeasty flavour. Good colour too. You dissolve it in water so that you can pour it over the top and it'll soak into the scone itself. I guess drizzle is more appropriate than pour because you probably don't want to overdo it.

[Anonymous No.11966584]

>>11966563
the thumbnail looks like what happened when my dog horked up a mound of foamy vomit after eating a tub of vanilla frosting
lrn to browning

[Anonymous No.11966604]

>>11966584
yeah, felt bad uploading it but didnt have any pics of the ones ive made for work that are portioned out and browned nicely

[Anonymous No.11966615]

>>11962166
Baklava is amazing though.

[Anonymous No.11967121]

>>11962962
No one in the UK calls scones pastries. They are cakes or a type of bake. They do have a denser texture and more crumbly, but understand that they are a vehicle for clotted cream and/or jam so that they are a perfect balance to the tannins in the tea people would have at tea time.

[Anonymous No.11967150]

>>11963551
Well but the Bongs invented the language, so it should be them to decide how to call things.

[Anonymous No.11967153]

Also, cakes go hard when they stale. Biscuits go soft when they stale. If the cookie goes hard as it stales then technically it's a type of cake.

[Anonymous No.11967942]

>>11962166
>hating scone and baklava
according to WebMD, you are twice more faggot compared to normal person

[Anonymous No.11967950]

As a filthy fucking arab I can corroborate that baklava is the fucking worst

[Anonymous No.11968020]

>>11962166
Op you are retard
Baklava is delicious
fuck you and this gay thread

[Anonymous No.11968679]

>>11962943
>live in UK for 8 years
>tried scones with clotted cream and jam the other day
>it was the best thing I've ever tasted
muh english food is bad