Unpleasant Kitchen Mistakes Thread

[Anonymous No.11883692]

>chop some chillies
>absentmindedly touch my dick a few minutes later

[Anonymous No.11883885]

I was making bacon wrapped stuffed jalapeños and touched my dick and balls to pee, it helped to teabag a glass of milk - i’m being 100% sincere

[Anonymous No.11883902]

>>11883692
I had some garlic butter on my finger to apply to a recipe and I fingered my butt and now my farts smell worse than they ever have, along with a slimy yellow residue. I do spread it on toast however and the flavour is outrageous 10/10 would recommend

[Anonymous No.11883908]

>15, first job
>prepping vegetables in tiny cramped back kitchen
>chopping up jalapenos
>remember being told to use really hot water when doing dishes
>spray cutting board with scalding hot water
>jalapeno fumes everywhere
>asthma attack
>coworker comes in and starts coughing uncontrollably
>kitchen is so tiny that its unable to vent quickly
>throat feels like shit for the rest of the day, cute coworker thinks I'm incapable of basic tasks

[Anonymous No.11884286]

>>11883908
did you manage to fug her in the end?

[Anonymous No.11884413]

>>11883885
the bathroom was occupied by someone taking a very long bath, I had to just wait 15 minutes until it stopped burning

[Anonymous No.11884704]

>>11883908
jej poor you

[Anonymous No.11886461]

>got a mandolin because I wanna be fuckin serious about cooking
>intend on making some baked sweet potato chips because I'm a health fag
>it comes with a hang guard
idontneedthatshit.jpg
>get over zealous with my slicing
>fast forward to me sitting in the ER, missing an alarmingly large chunk of my thumb

The good news is that it healed well, can barely tell it happened.

[Anonymous No.11886463]

>>11883902
I fell out of my chair

[Anonymous No.11886475]

>>11883692
You'll like it after you've done it enough times that you know what to expect.

[Anonymous No.11887192]

>>11883902
you spread your slimy yellow fart residue on toast?

[Anonymous No.11887325]

>>11883902
How much goddamn butter was on your finger?

[Anonymous No.11887373]

>painstakingly mix, roll, and shape and fill little yeast cookies that take days
>run out of sugar to roll them in
>roll them in stevia
>melts all over the cookies and makes them sticky and mushy, ruining the crunchy exterior and layers

Also that time as a kid my butter was too firm, I already added the add, nuked it to melt the butter and had a cooked egg in a pool of butter lol

[Anonymous No.11887408]

>>11887373
>added the add
?

[Anonymous No.11887422]

>>11887408
>he didn't add the add

[Anonymous No.11887439]

>>11887422
>tfw you add too much add

[Anonymous No.11887446]

>>11887439
>make cookies
>forget to add the add
what the fuck was I thinking

[Anonymous No.11887914]

>>11883885
Why did you touch your balls to pee

[Anonymous No.11887916]

>Making piqua au lombard
>forget that my emulsion blender is broken 3/4 of the way through.
>have to ditch the half kneaded fish concoction in trash and eat out instead.

[Anonymous No.11887992]

>>11887914
>he doesn't touch his balls to pee
explain your technique anon

[Anonymous No.11889035]

>>11887446
>go to bake sale
>ask if cookies have add
>tfw they dont know what add is