[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 332 KB, 498x460, 637E0020-CED4-4FB2-916D-F9DEE12B6B57.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11835790 No.11835790 [Reply] [Original]

>server kneels down and takes down your order at table height

>> No.11835794

>>11835790
>I lay down so server is still talking down to me because I know my place

>> No.11835798

"Might as well give me a kiss while you're down here, bud."
>mfw he does it

>> No.11835803

>server kills himself in front of you
ruined my grade 9 graduation

>> No.11835821
File: 10 KB, 257x192, 18597.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11835821

A good server
- should touch the floor with his forehead when he's taking my orders;
- should never look into my eyes;
- should try to be almost invisible, even just looking at someone being at work is exhausting to me. Work is below me and I want to have as little contact as possible with someone who works;
- should never expect a tip. I don't tip as a rule, servers would just become proud and rude.

>> No.11836316

>>11835803
Story time please?

>> No.11836332

>>11836316
The server killed himself in front of me at my grade 9 graduation.

>> No.11836352

>>11836332
What a riveting tale, anon.

>> No.11836361

>>11836332
So, in other words, at your grade 9 graduation, the server killed himself in front of you. Am I reading that right?

>> No.11836369

>>11836361
Yes. It ruined my grade 9 graduation.

>> No.11836388

>>11836369
Not everyone had the privilege of graduating from grade 9, don't be so insensitive

>> No.11836394

>>11835803
How the fuck do you graduate from ninth grade?
It sounds like all of your crowning achievements/ milestones might be participation trophies, my guy.

>> No.11836405

I went to this diner where the servers would sit down at your booth with you to take your order, like you've been friends with them forever. >allllrighty *siiiiiiiigh, grunt, ahhh* then what would you like
>their thigh is touching yours.

>> No.11836445

>>11835790
>Be European
>Visit America with friends
>Go to restaurant (some Italian, wasn't a chain I heard of here.)
>Staff actually does that
>Bread is buttered (the free basket, we didn't order garlic bread or something)
>Portions are grotesque
That was a weird experience. I tipped 10% (I learned later I was cheap.)

>> No.11836446
File: 28 KB, 360x233, 46356sdgasda.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11836446

>>11835790
>dad puts his hand behind his ear because he can't hear the server

>> No.11836458

>>11836445
>>Bread is buttered (the free basket, we didn't order garlic bread or something)

I'm America and can't recall ever being served bread that was already buttered.

>I tipped 10%

how dare you

>> No.11836483

>>11835790
i like pakman. watching his 5 minute uploads throughout the day is pretty much how i get my news.

>> No.11836503

>>11836445
>>Bread is buttered (the free basket, we didn't order garlic bread or something)
why the fuck are you complaining about this you anti-butter faggot

>> No.11836514
File: 53 KB, 980x653, 5361DD7F-3DEA-4C99-B16E-B878FF2B2EFF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11836514

>don’t leave tip at all for server
>get the same waiter again a few months later and he remembers me and gives me shit service the whole evening
>give him 50% tip just to fuck with him
>he sees tip and apologizes to me for being an asshole
>complain to the manager that staff treated me differently because of a tip and he gets in shit

>> No.11836525

>>11836514
bravo if true.

>> No.11836538

>>11836458
You are America? Like the entire continent of America?

I get what you're trying to write but I'm amused by the way it was written.

>> No.11836561

if there's a spare seat at our table and the server looks tired, I always ask them if the want to sit and 4/5 times they do, but because i'm a bong, i never tip.

>> No.11836587

>>11836538
I think I understand what you mean here. It's a bit amusing from a certain perspective, yes I can see that.

>> No.11836588
File: 69 KB, 468x594, 935176.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11836588

>>11835790
>Server brings the ingredients to your table and prepares your dish in front of you

>> No.11836591

>>11835790
>server kneels down
>takes off your shoes and starts giving you a foot massage

>> No.11836601

>Server noclips through the kitchen wall

>> No.11836765

>>11836601
fuckin lole

>> No.11836805

>work in pizzeria
>owner is serving
>decides to leave for a couple hours to "run errands"
>people walk in and I gotta help them
easiest way to fuck up my day

yesterday I tried to be a go getter and ask a guy if he wanted some onion rings to start and the motherfucker stared at the appetizers for at least 30 seconds before deciding on fried mushrooms and garlic bread (upsold him on cheese) and I swear to god it's so fucking awkward I don't know how anyone does that shit every day

I forgot to give them straws too

how do I get good?

>> No.11836868

>>11836503
Bread is starch/carbohydrate. It's not supposed to be fat.

And I prefer olive oil.

>> No.11836891

>server gets DDOS'd
>4channel is down again

>> No.11836937

>>11835790
>Server goes under the table
>Unzips my pants
>Start fondling it
>Put his mouth on it and start popsicle sucking it
>I came at his face as a tip

Okay service I guess

>> No.11836959

>>11835798
Thats cute anon :3

>> No.11836979

>server about to take order
>remember vending machines don’t have servers and buy my four bags of snyder’s pretzel pieces

>> No.11837004

>>11836937
do i have to work at a certain restaurant to give this kind of service to customers or is it allowed anywhere?

>> No.11837088

>>11836514
>>complain to the manager that staff treated me differently because of a tip and he gets in shit
Isn't that the point of tipping?

>> No.11837346

>>11836538
I just forgot the 'n' my bad.

>> No.11837366

>>11837346
DON’T SAY IT

>> No.11837403

>>11836332
How did he kill himself?

>> No.11837817
File: 393 KB, 526x502, [HorribleSubs] Houseki no Kuni - 01 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_21.56_[2018.06.15_22.48.16].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11837817

>>11835790
>server kneels down and spots me giving my bf across the table a secret feetjob
>avoids eye contact with me for the rest of the night
>mfw

>> No.11837847

>>11837088
Yes. obviously a fake ass story, but lemme tell you as a food server. No one cares, if we know you tip shit we'll do the minimum to keep you out of our hair and out of managements ears and put more attention towards customers who may or will tip, that's just kinda how it is.

>> No.11837849

>>11837088
the point of tipping is so restaurants can jew their staff out of wages

>> No.11837860

>>11837849
a lot of states don't let them do that. they make minimum plus tips, working delivery a few years ago i reliably pulled like, 25 an hour? But delivery has expenses, serving does not.

>> No.11837864

>>11837847
Good. I just want my food brought to me when it's ready and that's all. Attentive waiters are annoying.

>> No.11837880

>Female server with a nice butt bends over to pick something up but loses her balance and falls onto my lap in a sitting position and then gets up with a visible blush on her face as she apologizes to me.

>> No.11837892

>>11837366
Noggin'

>> No.11838037

>>11837880
baste

>> No.11838054
File: 1.95 MB, 1228x1228, 1524739824556.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11838054

>>11837880
No problem, it was my privilege."

>> No.11838082
File: 1.31 MB, 276x232, 1536007050761.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11838082

>>11837880
das it mane

>> No.11838088

>>11837880
Hoped you grabbed her titties as if you were trying to brace her fall

>> No.11838427

>>11836805
>are you ready with your order
>ill be back in a minute
>can i get you something to drink before you make up your fucking mind

>> No.11838459

When I’m in the USA and I have to tip, I like to throw the money on the floor and watch them scrabble around picking it up. Seeing them at my feet almost makes it worth the cost.

>> No.11838485

>>11836332
Woah, calm down, Shakespeare.

>> No.11838502

>>11838459
based

>> No.11839539

>>11837817
isn't it footjob

like football

>> No.11839550
File: 28 KB, 452x446, 1c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11839550

>waitress gives me her number after flirting with me throughout the meal again

>> No.11839680

>>11835821
Based

>> No.11839760
File: 59 KB, 274x330, tumblr_mu26dq9AES1sk6hkio1_400.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11839760

>>11836394

>> No.11839812
File: 595 KB, 1836x3264, 1539295254847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11839812

>server become the table

>> No.11840161

>>11836394
Most of the schools in my area growing up were K-9 and then you went to a dedicated high school for grades 10-12.

>> No.11840172

At the wine bar I work at, our dumbfuck server sits down at the table sometimes to chat and shows customers shit on her phone.
Pisses me off so much

>> No.11840178
File: 17 KB, 362x366, frog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11840178

>>11840161
>small kindergarten children have to deal with just-in-puberty retarded middle-schoolers
poor, poor children.

>> No.11840185

>>11840161
Do you live in a poor neighborhood? Those places usually have this system because many drop out by 9th grade.

>> No.11840197

>>11840185
No was a virtually all white canadian suburb that was less than 10 years old.

>> No.11840204

>>11840197
>that was less than 10 years old
So it was a cost saving measure for a freshly minted suburb? I get it now.

>> No.11840206

>>11840197
>less than 10 years old
Then how was it grade 9? It could only be grade 5, 6 tops.

>> No.11840207

>>11835790
Soon to be sweet future, when I give orders to a robot.

>> No.11840216

>>11837088
No, you have the dependent and independent variables mixed.
Good service gets good tips. Shit service gets no tip. Really shit service gets two pennies so they know you didn't just forget and to insult them. Like "Here's your two pieces of zinc, worthless peon. Don't spend it all in one place."

>> No.11840221

>>11837880
brap

>> No.11840224

>>11837860
Yeah, as someone that has worked back of house, servers make dosh for so little effort. Especially attractive females. Don't believe their crocodile tears.

>> No.11840231
File: 49 KB, 1280x720, 1538950337345.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11840231

>>11840206

>> No.11840233

>>11840206
People move in with children

>> No.11840241

>>11840233
>People move in with children
What kind of pedo community you live in?!?!

>> No.11840274

>server pulls up a chair from a nearby table and sits down to take our order and shoot the breeze
>only mind because she's cute and don't want my girlfriend to get pissy

>> No.11840378

>server spills tray of drinks on our table
>she ran off crying out the front door of the restaurant without apologizing and never came back

>> No.11840460

>>11835790
I like to squat to get down to people's eye level especially when it is busy so I can hear to take orders better. It also helps you have better, more intimate conversations with guests and shows that you care about helping them rather than just standing there being an aloof dick.

>>11836588
I worked at this restaurant. Never again

>> No.11840500

>>11840460
Nobody wants more intimate conversations with you. Just make sure you bring me my goddamn food, jackass.

>> No.11840511

>>11836394
You study really hard and learn algebra. You can do it too if you work hard

>> No.11840518

>>11840511
Grade 9 was the longest 3 years of my life, anon.

>> No.11840542

>>11840206
But like, how would there even be adults there to make babies in the first place? I don't see how it's possible for a neighborhood to simply pop into existence as if from nowhere.

>> No.11840585

>>11836445
Dont order a huge meal then you faggot. Fucking seriously I want euro cucks to fuck off

>> No.11840591

>>11840542
Big communities are planned and built all the time moron, people that already exist move there for the perceived benefits.

>> No.11840883

>>11840511
>not being in accelerated math and taking geometry in 9th grade
This is why you're a line cook.

>> No.11840894

>>11836514
>he gets in shit
More like the manager told you what you wanted to hear in order to get you to shut up and leave, and then after your triflin ass left the restaurant, the server told the manager about last time, and both the server and the manager had a good laugh about dumbass customers.
>he thinks anything he can do will matter to a server
If you have time to care at all about upsetting someone who already only makes ~$35k a year, then you don't have enough money to be an actual problem.

>> No.11840915

>>11840500
You may or may not be surprised to learn that your opinion is not everyone's opinion, nor is it even most people's opinion.
I work somewhere nice where people go to spend time, drink lots of wine, try new food, and chat. Niggers, spics, and poor people with kids don't ever come in, and those are the type of people who are rude, picky, and impersonal.
The people who spend the most money in restaurants are rich boomers and they love to chat, but lots of people really like to chat with their servers and bartenders. Direct eye contact, smile, address guests by first name, ask what their plans are after dinner and anything else you can ask about them without being nosy, using context clues.
>25% tip x $80 check average x 7 tables x 2.5 seat turnover per shift
Feels goodman

>> No.11840983

>>11840216
No one asked for your two cents.

>> No.11840997

>>11835790
Hell bud have a seat. Can I get you a drink or something?

>> No.11841464

>>11840591
Nigga how? Do you even know how babby is formed? Human beings cannot just magically appear where there were none

>> No.11841471

>>11840883
>not getting jokes
Maybe you can learn humor by reading one of your books, autist

>> No.11841497

>>11839550
Anon, those numbers on the check are actually how much you owe. Plus, the cashier at Wendy's isn't a waitress.

>> No.11841908

>>11839539
Don't reply to that retard

>> No.11842334

>>11841464
my hometown has been growing for years, lots of immigrants come in, push affluent white folks out to the suburbs.

>> No.11843779

>>11841908
sorry

>> No.11843795

>>11835790
who is this gentleman?

>> No.11843883

>>11842334
If those white folk were really affluent they'd be richer than half-educated coloreds from the third world.

>> No.11843896

If I were bothered by autism I wouldn't participate on this website.

>> No.11843907
File: 449 KB, 1280x1178, 1491085727795.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11843907

>go to restaurant
>server is an old friend from highschool
>she gives me a hug and goes to kiss me on the cheek
>kisses my neck instead
>she blushes super hard
>comps me a margarita out of embarrassment

>> No.11843967

>>11840915
>Making $350 on tips every shift, excluding normal salary
Yeah sure m8. If that were the case you could take home upwards of 7k/mo.

>> No.11844088

>>11840172
that's based though

>> No.11844144
File: 1.51 MB, 425x481, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11844144

>>11839550
>GO TO SALTGRASS
>7/10 WAITRESS ASK ME IF I WANT TO GET DRINKS NEXT DOOR
>TELL HER, "YEAH ILL SEE YOU THERE!"
>GET IN MY CAR
>DRIVE HOME
>PLAY VIDYA
9/11 WOULD DO IT AGAIN

>> No.11844180

>>11844144
delightfully devilish

>> No.11844379

>>11843795
Gordon Ramsay

>> No.11844429

>>11836332
Story or fake and gay

>> No.11845079

>>11844144
I can't believe what you did you sick fuck, you dirty fucker

>> No.11845181

>>11835798
Where's your face?

>> No.11845196

>>11843967
I only work 3 shifts (~18 hours) per week and it's true that a Monday shift is not the same as a Friday shift. Also, you lose about 10% of your tips to tipping out the bartender and hosts, so if I made ~$350 I'd really only take home just over $300.
The best shifts are Friday night, Saturday brunch, Saturday night, Sunday brunch, and Tuesday nights because we have specials. Usually I work Saturday night, Sunday morning, Tuesday.

>> No.11845227

>>11843907
Do you gently fuck her later?

>> No.11845278

>>11845196
>Making $900 a week with only 18h of work
That's probably even better

>> No.11845294

>>11837366
nigger

>> No.11845303

>>11837860
yeah restaurants still do it so they never need to give raises even after 20 years of service with a company

>> No.11845328

>>11836332
Wow you must have been one hell of a little fag huh

>> No.11845371

>>11843907
>>she gives me a hug and goes to kiss me on the cheek
>>kisses my neck instead
She cross eyed or some shit?

>> No.11845920

>>11837864
This. Just give me fucking food and get out of my face you whore.

>> No.11845930

>>11840915
Good God, you really are an insufferable faggot.

>> No.11845937

>>11845196
>mutt workers have to tip at work
You really are a perfect slave race.

>> No.11845940

>arm hair on my ceasar salad

I didn't mind he was cute

>> No.11846038

>>11836405
were they hot?

>> No.11846045

>server calls me a fucking faggot and spits in my face
>only tip them 10%

felt bad but what can you do, tipping is to demonstrate a server’s value

>> No.11846227

>server says "i am going to introduce myself now. the words are forming for my introduction. prepare yourself for your introdcution now: hello, my name is sfen, i will be your server
>i says "i have just heard your introduction. i am forming my response. my response to your introudction is this: hello sfen.
>server says, "thank you for your acknowledgment. i will be your server. any food and or drink related issues will be dealt with solely by myself. do you have any questions
>i say, "yes, i have a question about the menu. does that fall into the food and or drink related topics you mentioned? I am not sure because the menu, itself, is not edible, but the food described on the menu is edible.
>server says, "yes, you may inquire about the menu. I am prepared to listen to your inquiry
every fucking time...

>> No.11846327

>>11835821
Based

>> No.11846424

>>11835794
Based

>> No.11846433

>>11845371
i went in just for a hug not expecting a kiss and she went to kiss my check as i was still mid hug so i guess she jumped the gun on the kiss part
the margarita was bretty gud, i think she used espolon or some shit

>> No.11846439

>>11846227
>goes to restaurant
>eats food
>leaves
every fuckin time...

>> No.11846466

>server has a pro-israel button on her shirt
>get up and leave

>> No.11846567

>>11840883
No one is impressed.

>> No.11846623

>>11835794
Rofl

>> No.11846975

Can we please talk about the waiters suicide

>> No.11847054

>>11846975
I made that up.

>> No.11847084

>>11835790
Does this happen all that often? The only time I have seen this was an episode of Kitchen Nightmares and Gordon didn't even comment on it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHBe3XiS99Q

>> No.11847429

>go to restaurant
>my waiter is a small guy
>get my food, everything is fine.
>waiter comes back with the bill
>pull out a handful of waiter feed
>all the waiters in the restaurant run to me and peck the feed out of my hand leaving nothing for the small waiter
>herzhog walks in and starts narrating the eco system of the restaurant
>i leave

>> No.11847827
File: 103 KB, 1024x731, 1544709358311.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11847827

>>11835821

not based but redpilled

>> No.11849144

>>11836483
I can't even judge anymore at this point. Reading AP and Reuters is exhausting, biases are fun. I like Pakman too

>> No.11849150

>>11847429
sounds deliciously kino, liked and subscribed