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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 2.91 MB, 720x404, Pepper Drill.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11749029 No.11749029 [Reply] [Original]

Bonus points for clever and useful kitchen devices.

>> No.11749043

jesus cries

>> No.11749051
File: 80 KB, 1024x740, 1536809932060.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I hate being that guy but I despise AB so goddamn much I wan't to punch a pregnant puppy.

>> No.11749058
File: 2.87 MB, 720x404, 1531467490971.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Were it not for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you.

>> No.11749073

Why do you not like Alton Brown?

>> No.11749083

pure and simple? he's a hack.

>> No.11749105

where the fuck do you get a film canister in this day and age anyways

>> No.11749114
File: 2.93 MB, 540x302, 1541145154355.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How so? He's never marketed himself as anything more than a nerdy guy who likes the science behind cooking. He's not claiming to be some Michelin star chef.

>> No.11749141

I don't know then. Didn't you ever know or see someone that you just had an innate desire to physically harm?

>> No.11749149
File: 2.86 MB, 480x360, 1546818831309.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well I'm not a psychopath, so no.

>> No.11749158

>the ring
>the watch
i thought this was oc ja/ck/ and now i'm disappointed

>> No.11749165

Because Jack is the only person in the history of the universe to wear a ring and a watch.

>> No.11749170

why doesnt he just shave it off

>> No.11749174
File: 12 KB, 150x199, 150px-Jeffrey_Dahmer_Sheriffs_1991_mugshot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yikes. Posts like these make me grateful my only mental problems stem from crippling misogyny.

>> No.11749193

it's a gross thing to do if you're cooking
clean people remove these items before they wash their hands

>> No.11749213

everyone has fantasies about hurting someone from time to time.
Source: I'm reading a psychology book about it right now.

>> No.11749216
File: 527 KB, 493x573, alton1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>he doesn't shoot film like based Alton

>> No.11749234

Is that his daughter? It's a miracle incest doesn't happen more than it does.

>> No.11749235
File: 2.87 MB, 1280x720, 1532505450474.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11749241
File: 46 KB, 778x512, 439.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm home, mama

>> No.11749247

Yeah, she's gorgeous.
If I had Alton Brown for a father I'd have been a perfect sphere by that age.

>> No.11749250

I'd chop my nuts on her chest and face, if you catch my drift

>> No.11749253


this is literally the solution to a problem no one has

even this old bitch isn't decrepit enough to need assistance twisting a fucking peppermill

1 kek/100

>> No.11749255
File: 2.86 MB, 960x540, 1529165829721.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't follow at all.

>> No.11749271


that bird can suck my squidgy dick with its little pinched face

>> No.11749309
File: 2.67 MB, 640x360, jackonabe.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11749316
File: 2.61 MB, 720x404, 1522756857683.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I cook almost everything in the trusty waffle iron.

>> No.11749318
File: 2.75 MB, 500x280, American Culture and Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11749387
File: 2.87 MB, 720x300, 1532782050866.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11749423

Goddamnit Alton, there's a much more efficient way to cook food with production lighting than 9 1k Par Bars. You only need like 6 Super Sharpies to achieve the same thing, and that would only take about 35A at 120/60. Also that video only showed him plugging in one 3 phase 208v 48 channel dimmer when clearly that stunt would need two, or at least a 48 rack and 12. The production LD knew how to program a Smartfade though, so points there.

>> No.11749593
File: 1.91 MB, 640x358, 1534273725188.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Where can I buy one of these?

>> No.11749608

I do feel this is more meaningful than 99% of other art projects these days

>> No.11749626

pls stop posting this webm

>> No.11749761

Would be great for coke, goddamn

>> No.11749855
File: 2.71 MB, 400x230, egg bae.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11750004
File: 2.92 MB, 720x404, 1539145360199.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11750024

Will this work with heroin?

>> No.11750037

We used to be able to bring a waffle iron into my high school chemistry class the day before finals, eat some waffles for half the class and start the final during the other half. Everyone who brought in cinnamon rolls were seen as instant cool kids,

>> No.11750055

Walgreens or Walmart

>> No.11750070

you had one job

>> No.11750077
File: 217 KB, 544x600, 1433966037626.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

His original show is full of misinformation. His new show is him going through everything he did wrong in his old show while reading articles from Cook's Illustrated and Serious Eats. Might as well skip the annoying cunt go to his sources directly.

>> No.11750106

>Pregnant puppy
Utter retard

>> No.11750137
File: 272 KB, 959x538, reported coke.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11750245

seems like a lot of work for a small issue

>> No.11750368

>No meme tabs

Fucking one job.

>> No.11750428

Only a casual would open up gay websites for a screenshot.
>Hey I'm 2/10 trolling on /ck/ mom
Leave immediately.

>> No.11750464

>didn't sweat the veg
>putting everything in at once
This man needs to be locked up he's a sociopath

>> No.11750552


>> No.11750562

>tfw no 9/10 milk truck daughter
It hurts, but I feel like I'm better off without one.

>> No.11750588


>> No.11750602

Yes, but the cooking process will cost you some of the dose.

>> No.11750612
File: 162 KB, 401x195, dogg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I dunno what any of that means

>> No.11750646
File: 161 KB, 319x422, zzzzzz.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I see electric mills being sold everywhere now. Even designer ones. It's the epitome of laziness, but there's a market.
>inb4 retards going to try and claim it's meant just for elderly and disabled.

>> No.11750672 [DELETED] 

>tfw one of my relatives has a house full of these
There's a certain charm when you press that little button, it goes whirr, and all the seasoning just gently floats down onto your food like the falling leaves in autumn. Then that charm wears off and you realise you've saved virtually nothing compared to sprinkling a pinch or twisting a grinder for a bit.

>> No.11750963

thats a fucking shit ton of cinnamon

>> No.11750982

you don't understand how engineers think then.

>> No.11751029

That black lady is dead now

>> No.11751041
File: 195 KB, 750x750, 1518165490348.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>being this mad

>> No.11751044

when did she die she gave the best fucking blowjobs

>> No.11751048
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>> No.11751050
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>> No.11751056
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>> No.11751061
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>> No.11751095
File: 17 KB, 800x600, 1545335059839.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Eggcellent my fellow anon.

>> No.11751106
File: 2.70 MB, 640x360, cheese cutting line.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11751120

There's a trap door he stands on. If he doesn't meet quota, the trap door opens and he's plunged into the sewers, where ferocious sewer dwelling homeless cannibals will beat him into unconsciousness and boil him alive for their underground community of cannibals.

>> No.11751132
File: 2.47 MB, 640x427, ice cream barrel.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11751144
File: 2.93 MB, 640x360, pizza saucing machine 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11751430

w-w-where are they heading

>> No.11751528
File: 39 KB, 367x379, B4761B8148FA497D95E11F9F858FAEDC.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

To Auschwitz

>> No.11751536

is this guy retarded? you can adjust the drill head to clamp down on the bit or in this case, grinder rod

>> No.11751551

t-that’s literally hitler! ;_;

>> No.11751561

They're heading to their new home. A farm, up north, where there's lots of wide open fields for them to run around in and chase squirrels.

>> No.11751580

>is this guy retarded?
Are you?

>>drill head
It's called a chuck, anon. Have you ever used tools before?

And did you even realize the whole point of the film canister thing was to close up the opening at the top of the pepper grinder so the peppercorns don't fall out while you're grinding.

>>but but why didn't he just tighten the chuck farther down
Look closer, dumbass. There are two flat portions sticking out from the shaft. That means the drill can only grip the top portion of the shaft, not the whole thing.

>> No.11751612

weapon grade autism

>> No.11751647


Its so funny he has a regular smiling face then suddenly puts on the soy meme look as if its intentional

>> No.11751651

He's afraid of getting burned.
Haven't you seen his frying videos, where he starts adding the food in cold oil?

>> No.11751666


its not bad, but its a slop of ingredients that could have been put into 3-4 separate meals with much better flavour and texture than just one messy pot

>> No.11752212
File: 2.90 MB, 720x404, 1542844054300.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>soul vs soulless

>> No.11752451

>many complicated knives vs one cutty boi

>> No.11752606

>sonic knife
So is it some high frequency pulse or something?

>> No.11752609

How does he egg?

>> No.11752636

le how does he le

>> No.11752675

>that gray ass dry as fuck steak
fucking hell

>> No.11752687

He's pretty obviously not trying to be efficient. He was doing it for spectacle since he's, yknow, an entertainer.

>> No.11752713

what kind of limp wristed faggot can't even grind a peppermill

>> No.11752721
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>> No.11752726
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>> No.11752734


>> No.11752737
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>> No.11752741
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>> No.11752752
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>> No.11752756
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>> No.11752762
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>> No.11752765
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>> No.11752770
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>> No.11752772

how does he get in?

>> No.11752776
File: 1.89 MB, 1280x720, 1529187817196.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752777

Those things making coffee are called Asians, there are many different kinds of them. The thing with the glasses is a nu-male and they can be found at liberal art collages.

>> No.11752779
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>> No.11752786
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>> No.11752790
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>> No.11752794

yikes come down sweatie

>> No.11752795
File: 1.58 MB, 1280x720, 1536970921066.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752799

Checked and yellowpilled

>> No.11752802
File: 1.34 MB, 720x486, 1536971210536.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752804

I want to live in a log cabin with Jack, and he would cook me delicious Keto meals every day.

>> No.11752808
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>> No.11752811
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>> No.11752825
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>> No.11752827

This literally infuriates me.

>> No.11752830
File: 1.56 MB, 720x486, 1536973251232.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752832
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>> No.11752838
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>> No.11752842
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>> No.11752853
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>> No.11752870
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>> No.11752877
File: 2.55 MB, 1280x720, 1541113632471.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752882

Well it's the same webms but at least the thread isnt boring anymore

>> No.11752884
File: 2.24 MB, 420x315, 1541115108822.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752890
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>> No.11752898
File: 2.86 MB, 600x336, soy.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11752901

Sorry, im new here. Who is this freak?

>> No.11752915

Based Cooking with Ja/ck/

>> No.11752933

>Sabering edge first
Fucking end this moron

>> No.11752940

Notice no one even responding to the jack posts. There is nothing to say or discuss and it arouses no interest.

>> No.11752942
File: 89 KB, 1024x576, 1529859527762m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11752970

This looked fine until they showed the spice loading compartment. Why would you put it so close to the battery compartment where it could easily spill into while loading. What a horrible design

>> No.11752971

Because we're spellbound by incompetence

>> No.11753110
File: 42 KB, 640x736, 1543287942518.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm assuming >>11752776 is what caused him to start frying things in lukewarm oil. It's a really good example of how Jack's mind works.
>Maybe I should use a utensil or be more delicate when putting things in hot oil?
>No, the oil temperature is clearly the problem.

>> No.11753231

Jack doesn't matter anymore. His time has past.

>> No.11753265

Henry > Jack


>> No.11753303

I love this movie so much.

>> No.11753374

Its like The Matrix

>> No.11753442

Yes but Alton is based. Give him a chance. And in real life he'd be the one knocking you around, he's a hard ass who is just affable for the camera.

>> No.11753518

I know jackposting is inherently bait, but onions in any form, with fruit, is just fucking wrong

>> No.11753631

does it have wifi?

>> No.11753679

>Getting called out and making baseless insinuations
I'm blushing for you.

>> No.11754028

comfy poster

>> No.11754044

God I wish that was me

>> No.11754094

He hatched from one of those eggs.

>> No.11754120

*flicks your bean*

>> No.11754136
File: 89 KB, 809x600, 000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>gooks hatch from eggs like so many billions of spiders
explains a lot, desu

>> No.11754163

Jack Scalfani. His food causes food poisoning, he abused his son, and got his first stroke at the age of 40.

>> No.11754203

non-newtonian general Tso's chicken (4:33)


>> No.11754252

To be fair Serious Eats has dabbed on a lot of chefs. They've dispelled so many food myths that were just accepted as gospel.

>> No.11754327
File: 2.94 MB, 640x640, 1537104110208.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11754377

probably to be killed by cold machines while they are scared

>> No.11754380
File: 2.94 MB, 640x360, 1517717884236.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11754384

that looks good

>> No.11754393

>General Tso's Chicken
god i love Jack

>> No.11754403

hey thats that fat guy with his youtube channel who cries about his weight gain and that he is getting deported because his husband divorced him

>> No.11754407


>> No.11754423

post the one with the blacked footage

>> No.11754439

Tso's is not a chinese dish

>> No.11754446


>> No.11754448

I'm gay btw

>> No.11754611

I wondered why he seems so familiar

>> No.11754624
File: 267 KB, 660x640, Screenshot_338.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>regular smiling face

>> No.11754635

Yes, a consistent high frequency vibration. I've seen them for mass production and laboratory equipment.

>> No.11754652

he's self aware man, he's being a dumbass for views like DSP

>> No.11754663

I want a sonichu knife now :(

>> No.11754668

>this kills the cheese

>> No.11754674

>it says in this book so it must be true

I mean, I currently want to hurt you based on that, so maybe you have a point after all.
Or maybe you are just a faggot at this point

>> No.11754817

gayest shit I've ever seen even by buzzfeed/tasty standards

>> No.11754824

That was A-OK until it panned to the chickens

>> No.11754839

Mrs Tweedy 's PIES

>> No.11754845

oh no

>> No.11754860

jesus, that's a lot of numbers.
I want to eat that cheese, not to calculus with it

>> No.11754872
File: 55 KB, 800x800, 1524626975201.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>I hate being that guy

>> No.11754902

I wish I liked olives, no matter how much I try to eat them I can't help but gag.

>> No.11754917

where can I find his stuff like this?
Everything I find on jewtube looks at least okay, in comparsion to what I see here

>> No.11754920
File: 61 KB, 638x1000, 15473293750751[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>And did you even realize the whole point of the film canister thing was to close up the opening at the top of the pepper grinder so the peppercorns don't fall out while you're grinding.
durrr thats not how grinders work

>Look closer, dumbass. There are two flat portions sticking out from the shaft. That means the drill can only grip the top portion of the shaft, not the whole thing.
it'd make no difference

pic related, it's you

>> No.11754987
File: 3.08 MB, 4032x3024, 1547433769584735137425.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Hey, look guys, I'm Ja/ck/

>> No.11755011

Old hairy knuckles...noice...

>> No.11755015

You're the fucking missing link mate.

>> No.11755021

You like?

>> No.11755133


>Oh, okay, he must be making pork chops then!
>opens the foil
>no pork chops
>Just onions, apples and kraut sweated together and baked

...goddamn it, Jack. You were so close.

>> No.11755354


>> No.11755408


This is retarded

>> No.11755434

A bit soon but whatever
Ehhh??? This is going to be great or disgusting

>> No.11755438


>> No.11755451



>> No.11755540

Can i.legally own one of these in the UK?

>> No.11755589

the idea is to display the crystallization, otherwise they wouldn't bother with this bullshit

>> No.11755597
File: 1.91 MB, 1920x1080, the best bbq sauce.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11755600

You know a michelin star just means you cooked with garbage from france the specific french way...right anon?

Its like saying You are great at programming because you use only programs you bought from dell's website while only using your dell computer.

It has nothing to do with anything skill related.

>> No.11755649

wait, who?

>> No.11755680

>leaves the phone on a discarded styrofoam container wich had raw meat on it
how can someone be so disgusting

>> No.11755755

God I wish that sandwich was me and I could feel Jack's tongue on my balls.

>> No.11755801

Webm doesn't capture the horror of that meat being a year old.

>> No.11755806

I actually do press tater tots down for quick hash browns pretty often like that, quite nice

>> No.11755918

You are 100% full of bullshit

>> No.11756017

What an idiot, you need to remove the label from the apple first.

>> No.11756053

>being this much of a redditfag
take that nigger dick out your ass

>> No.11756067

>can of pineapples

>> No.11756069

This one was actually nice to watch I'm surprised

>> No.11756084
File: 1.02 MB, 1280x720, shaq tiny water bottle.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11756158

feel free to watch any cooking show with cooks with multiple stars fuck up making a taco

>> No.11756166
File: 113 KB, 1408x1387, 1534810165905.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

To answer your question, no it won't unless you get extremely lucky with where you hit your veins. Heroin use looks extremely easy in movies, the character artistically shoots their dope in 10 seconds and it's all fine. In reality it's a lot different and harder. Your objective is to shoot it directly into your bloodstream; you don't just stick the syringe anywhere in your arm and you get high; if you stick it into a muscle it won't do dick. First, you need to find a vein; if you've been doing heroin for more than a year that alone is a task; I've seen some junkies in rehab who have been using for 10 years; the it takes them sometimes an hour of trying to find a vein because they've ruined all of theirs. Some are forced to shoot into their crotch, the veins on their feet, or in their neck, and even then those are probably ruined too so it still takes them a long ass time to find their vein. Even if you find a good vein there's no guarantee the syringe is actually in it. To see whether you're in, you need to pull back on the plunger, and blood from your vein will shoot into the syringe; that's how you know you're in. Then you inject the blood/heroin mix back into yourself.

A device like that would be worthless because not only does it not go in at a good angle, there's no way to verify if you're actually in the vein because you can't pull back and check. You might get extremely lucky and somehow it your vein, but there's several needles in that device, you'd realistically be hitting one of those needles while the other needles needlessly waste your precious heroin by shooting into your muscles. A total waste of time and money.
t. Former heroin addict and dealer

>> No.11756172

based smack fiend poster

>> No.11756174

yes lets post the same 80-120 webms again before the thread dies and we can do it all over again!

>> No.11756180

absolutely sisyphean

>> No.11756195

for you

>> No.11756197

I'm willing to bet my entire life's savings that Jack doesn't own a single knife that wasn't purchased at a Dollar Tree

>> No.11756199

He said you can use both, you fucking dimwit

>> No.11756225

How is he doing? Did he recover from his stroke yet?

>> No.11756348

Based retard

>> No.11756377

thanks for the info

>> No.11756399
File: 23 KB, 280x220, 1532310973472.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Getting called out
What an imagination

>> No.11756653

he's Indian

>> No.11756695

He had another one last year and it kind of fucked up his right arm.

>> No.11756702

You're a fucking pleb if you don't enjoy apple and onion with liver.

>> No.11756717


I mean this is clearly fetish porn. Bitch has a serial killer stare and no one would want to eat shit she has chewed up and spit out...


>> No.11756741

Can you activate ripper mode if you buy one of these?

>> No.11756753

She reminds me of the chick who does the Devolver event at E3, whom I would also fuck the piss out of.

>> No.11756937
File: 162 KB, 560x844, 1544632676898.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11757025

a fucking hf blade

>> No.11757202

it's like jabba the hutt

>> No.11757322

los juevos se rompene si el hijo de puta a dentro se escapa. como?

>> No.11757328

it passes through your intestines without any issue

>> No.11757351

So don't be that guy

>> No.11757357

Medium rare chicken very nice

>> No.11757360

>Film cannister
Who has such a thing?

>> No.11757363

You can see the disgust in his face

>> No.11757374


There going to go get showers. Don't worry about it.

>> No.11757376

He's so afraid of the oil haha

>> No.11757378

That's just a small stroke happening.

>> No.11757381

That chink is handsome tho, I'd let him pound me arse.

>> No.11757384

>on their crotch
Like in my sade inspired oriental sea scrolls.

>> No.11757391

No wonder why he got pinkeye

>> No.11757394

It's still raw right?

>> No.11757398

>come in to smear Jack webms all over thread
>it's already been ja/ck/ed
absolutely based

>> No.11757474

>tiny water bottle
>huge hands

>> No.11757493

>pepper paedo

>> No.11757500

>micro penis wanking action

Someones going to put their cat in that.

>> No.11757510
File: 38 KB, 616x616, iu[2].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Fun fact: despite the quirky carefree personality he portrays on Good Eats, Alton Brown is actually very right-wing, a devout Christian, really into collecting guns and is actually kind of an asshole

>> No.11757528

Those apples aren't even cooked

>> No.11757531

I enjoy cheese, apple and onion sandwiches.

>> No.11757541


>> No.11757549

Not quite true since he quit the southern baptists because of their virulent homophobia.

>> No.11757580
File: 796 KB, 320x286, 1448034185775.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11757607

>opposed to an unbiblical and immoral lifestyle
>this means you hate gays
Liberalism will bring about the second coming in sure of it

>> No.11757627

I'm not gay, but I don't think gays are necessarily less moral somehow than a normal person.

>> No.11757634

You apparently do think they're not "normal", though.

>> No.11757636
File: 289 KB, 1024x1008, 1491952031628.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>implying you can be more or less moral
>implying morals
nice spooks nerds.

>> No.11757647

His word choice was poor but that's mostly because "normal" has so many negative connotations. Too many folks in a minority group are so obsessed with their personal crusades that it can be difficult for the layperson to find a word that's safe to describe said group's minority status.

>> No.11757701

pork tenderloin with green apple & red onion stuffing is divine, you fool.

>> No.11757752
File: 22 KB, 480x552, 1527642439626.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw gotta Ja/ck/ it but can't

>> No.11757755
File: 8 KB, 311x162, reeee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Alton is great
Now this fucking guy.... I would lovingly drown in the baththub

>> No.11757795

fuckin corn starch

>> No.11757808

So you were going to smear the thread with the same webms that are in the thread every single time anyway? There's maybe 3 new videos posted a month.

>> No.11757822

Post yourself standing infront of your michelin star restaurant in with your ferrari.

>> No.11757825

it can read

>> No.11757827

>Brownie Batter
>Uses doughy balls
How in the goddamn is that shit brownie BATTER?

>> No.11757836

I get physically Ill watching Jack eat.

>> No.11757839

Then how did the japs earn so many

>> No.11757922

He has a set of Shuns that he got for free I think

>> No.11757936

...what the fuck is happening here

>> No.11757994

>comic sans

>> No.11758008

>A weapon to surpass seasoning steer.

>> No.11758011
File: 1.60 MB, 640x360, how to cut pizza.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758029

>Midget waitress
oh lord, my flank steak is sizzling. Could you imagine her feeding your a burger while she rode you in your lap? Food sex is the best.

>> No.11758078

You're the type that thinks no one 'NEEDS' a gun, and criminals follow the law, huh? I can smell it on you.

>> No.11758094

You know those cheeze its commercials with the talking cheese wheel? I feel like this is a torture porn parody of those.

>> No.11758102
File: 76 KB, 574x574, img20c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

dont have to lift with these or how about a pizza wheel. then u dont have to worry about someones poopy hands touching the whole pie.

>> No.11758110
File: 2.87 MB, 640x800, Flaming Pizza.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Korean ingenuity

>> No.11758111
File: 29 KB, 600x583, sad pepe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw you'll never drive the chicken vacuum

>> No.11758118
File: 2.91 MB, 640x360, Crab Rollercoaster.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You could still run the Crabveyer belt

>> No.11758122
File: 40 KB, 600x600, 2dd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

imagine the smell

>> No.11758127

>right-wing, a devout Christian, really into collecting guns
>is actually kind of an asshole
why did you repeat yourself?

>> No.11758152

what even is that?

>> No.11758165
File: 2.56 MB, 800x450, Haute Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It's called The Bomb or something

>> No.11758167

whats like the sauce and those bean looking things, toppics etc ??

>> No.11758189

>while the other needles needlessly waste your precious heroin by shooting into your muscles
wait I thought shooting H straight into muscle tissue fucks you up pretty badly?

>> No.11758208

That's why you want to avoid it

>> No.11758226
File: 2.60 MB, 732x480, 1.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758232
File: 2.92 MB, 608x568, 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758238
File: 2.94 MB, 484x504, 3.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758240
File: 2.95 MB, 484x504, 4.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758241
File: 2.88 MB, 720x554, 1538134571869.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11758249
File: 2.91 MB, 472x796, 5.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11758399

Sounds nice

>> No.11758428

lost it when he poured a fucking redbull

>> No.11758473
File: 74 KB, 600x803, alton-brown-gun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11758487

why do mexicans do this?

>> No.11758502

>guy [believes in something]
>snide libruls make passive aggressive backhand comments
>how dare he believe in something that I don't believe in
>what an asshole

>> No.11758506

Pays the bills

>> No.11758550

I would serve all of my friends coffee with an image of my cock.

>> No.11758922

who cares ?

>> No.11759105

>fucking loss.png


>> No.11759169



>> No.11759422

that pork

is not cooked

>> No.11759838

Mexico was a mistake.

>> No.11759893

Mexicans actually have the highest life expectancy because they eat this garbage and still manage to live to 70 with morbid obesity and diabetes for 40 years

>> No.11759913
File: 13 KB, 644x800, 1520153807495.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11760487

>why the tongue?

>> No.11760518


>> No.11760647

Why would he want to leave?

>> No.11760722

I hope youre not stuffing them down like popcorn, anon. Just take little bites and go to a proper deli to get them.

>> No.11760730
File: 14 KB, 342x192, BIG BOY BITES.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Get with it, nugga

>> No.11760757
File: 325 KB, 400x889, egg king.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11760766

He got pink eye and someone told him to use chili to clean it. lol

>> No.11760771

jesus, alton. it's just a pepper mill. twist more

>> No.11760774

why dont I just set my fucking hands on fire.

>> No.11760780
File: 328 KB, 1600x1067, chef john.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

"Someone" told him to use CAYENNE actually.

>> No.11760790
File: 43 KB, 630x441, ps.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

take THAT you stink-pot

>> No.11760807

for drunk americans

>> No.11760809

id like to watch u struggle cutting an actual 18inch pizza with that

>> No.11760814

Apologies, chef.

>> No.11760853

Anyone have the webm of the automated lamb processing line? The one where it's using lasers/x-rays and robot arms to make perfect cuts.

>> No.11761022
File: 336 KB, 625x449, 1545322307564.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>he's fast!

>> No.11761407
File: 2.07 MB, 640x360, meatprocessing.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Here you go.

>> No.11761414
File: 2.02 MB, 640x360, meatprocessing2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11761700

Sounds like a decent dude to me.

>> No.11761728

Man, the robot human war isn't even going to be fucking fair...

>> No.11761731


>> No.11761856

This confirms to me that he is 100% a closeted homosexual.

>> No.11761912

Looks like vanilla pudding and raisins.

>> No.11762646

Did he just cut that pizza with a unitasker?

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