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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11743479 No.11743479 [Reply] [Original]

Do you have any embarrassing stories from going to a restaurant?

>> No.11744188

Yes but I'll be made fun off. you first

>> No.11744211

One Friday evening I went to McDonald's for my usual burgie cheat meal.
The cashier handed me my bag of burgiess and it fell onto the drive thru ground.
I was so embarrassed I just took off out of there and haven't been to that McDonald's since.

>> No.11744250

>be six years old
>playing Mario vs Donkey Kong on Gameboy at a restaraunt
>suck ass because i'm six
>not even smart for six
>go full tard rage mode and snap it in half while bawling my eyes out

>> No.11744296

>Order a Quarter Pounder
>"Would you like to make it a meal?"
>Tell her of course it's going to be a meal
>She recites the cost of the burger with fries and drink
>Tell her I didn't want fries and drink
>She said I asked for a meal
>Say I only said I was eating it as a meal. It's not less of a meal without fries and drink. Fries and drink have little nutritional value at all
>She silently stares at me for about ten seconds then changes the order to a Quarter Pounder
>Pay, then leave without waiting for the burger

>> No.11745125


>> No.11745128
File: 39 KB, 960x950, cash.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11745194
File: 303 KB, 496x447, dsfsdfagg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We went to a nice restaurant in NY once. There a few moments that night.

>Waitress comes to get drink orders
>Say, what kind of beer do they have?
>None, but they have a full bar.
>Immediately forget what liquor is.
>Say, "I'll have a pepsi."
>She brings it in a glass bottle and pours it over ice it was so beautiful I almost cried.
>feel like child while eating pasta drinking soda.

Same night, same place, my brother was with his girlfriend and it was like dating a feral child.
>She asks what a house salad is
>My brother, who is a chef says "Depends on the house."
>Yeah, but what is a house salad?
>It's a salad. It changes. You'll have to ask.
>You're a chef and you don't know what a house salad is?
>It's a god damned salad. You have to ask the house what the house salad is.

She would also snap her fingers at the waitress instead of asking for her attention and said the word "Yummy" four times in a row.

>> No.11745272

time to roast me
my first day as a server at a decent restaurant, I showed off the desert tray. the lady said that one, I gave her the desert that was sitting on the tray for a week in and out of the cooler, mostly sitting by one of the fire places.
I rang it in and noticed the same desert at the pantry station. I then relized I fucked up. the guest said the desert wasn't very good.
another time at the same place it was AYCE crab leg night. there is usually crab legs left over on some of the plates but not a lot of time to crack them. one of my tables cracked and pulled out the meat of a lot of legs. I drowned it in butter and ate it in two huge bites. I'm disgusting

>> No.11745282

Who's on first?

>> No.11746258
File: 34 KB, 640x480, 180640-twinsen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If those stories are true, it's incredible. Absolute autism.

>> No.11746436

Not in a restaurant but when I was younger I was eating a Big Mac in a parking lot in my parent's car. The patties kept sliding out so I just threw the fucking thing out the window and onto the pavement.

>> No.11746489

Anyone noticing the rising of anime fags in ck ?

>> No.11746952

Anime fags on a site that was originally centered around anime?!?!

>> No.11747876

>rising of anime fags

>> No.11747898
File: 254 KB, 540x699, 1474329329043.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>at a japanese restaraunt and order a ramune
>the waiter comes later to take the plastic trash
>as he's picking up the trash, i grab it from his hands and say "its ok i can throw it out"
>scan the room for a trash can but couldnt find one
>leave the restaraunt and throw it out in the trashcan outside of the restaraunt
>come back in, friends are laughing their asses off
>mfw still think about this 5 years later

>> No.11747923

It's 2019. Anime is full Reddit. Western culture was originally centered in Greece, but you don't see anybody endorsing pederasty today.

>> No.11747931
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>as he's picking up the trash, i grab it from his hands

>> No.11747950

>order a ramune
That alone accounts for autism.
>grab it from his hands
violent autism

Seek professional help.

>> No.11747953


>> No.11747963

anybody else get nervous reading stories like this? it's like i'm afraid the autism will rub off on me or something.

>> No.11747966

>drive through Raising Cane's high as a kite because im a pathetic weed fag
>eye of the tiger comes on the radio as I pull up to the window
>window girl smiles and says "I love this song
>look her straight in the eyes and say "okay" completely stone faced
>realize how awkward that was and smile at her like 3 seconds later
>now I have to go to the location that's twice as far from my house because I can't show my face there again

>> No.11747989

Driving while high is as bad as driving drunk. You deserved to get worse.

>> No.11747998


>> No.11748020
File: 441 KB, 600x695, 80.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Whatever let's do this then.

>me and sister at sushi place
>pick plates from conveyor and eat
>good mood, make each other laugh
>suddenly a large chunk of rice get stuck in my nose from laughing
>spasm out uncontrollably, laugh and cough at the same time
>restaurant staff is looking at us
>rice literally shoots out of my nose in all directions
>try to calm myself but feel the rice corns stuck in my nose
>continue to release single rice corns for the next 5 mins as the conversation goes on
>a moment later go to register and pay, still with a redish face and snot running from my nostrils

The worst that ever happened to me by far.

>> No.11748025

>rice corns
also did you bang your sis?

>> No.11748033
File: 18 KB, 480x270, images (3) (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

When I was 8 I once got up from the table after eating and completely without realising turned round and did the loudest belch of my life in this random woman's face. My lips were vibrating.

Looking back it was hilarious. Disgusting but hilarious

>> No.11748040

A corn is a grain. The vegetable usually referred to as corn was named such because explorers thought it to be the ultimate crop.

>> No.11748044

I got one
>I'm a pretty fuckin confident dude
>Am a regular at a Mexican food placr
>Decide to get cashier's number because she's a nice white girl
>order and make small talk
>Make my move
>Her immediate response was "I have a boyfriend"
>Turn the tables on this and make use of it
>"Oh I wasn't wanting to hit on you; I'm gay. I just wanted to socialize.
>It works and I get her details
>she brings me the food instead of calling it out and having me go to the counter
>Fall super sick the following day, guessing she fucked with the food
>Ask her about it
>She was honest and flat out told me she did [something] to it
>Turns out it was her last day and she hated every customer and just wanted to fuck over everyone
>"Oh I thought you did it because I said I was gay. Fucking with everyone is far more reasonable"
>Apparently she thought I was using the gay thing as a get out of jail free card
>She's now fully convinced I'm gay, isn't employed there anymore and got sick discounts off my food for 2 weeks
>Her boyfriend broke up with her shortly after and I ghosted her
Also I slipped and fell on some broken glass once

>> No.11748058
File: 20 KB, 768x512, gi-rice-chopsticks-569d35595f9b58eba4ac0808.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>rice corns
Yeah sorry for not being American with shitty English. Of course I meant 'grain'. Could you possibly forgive me, kind sir?

>did you bang your sis?
Played with the thought when I was 12 or so, kek, but I think there's a natural barrier that stops you from finding your siblings hot to prevent incest. I think she's ugly af although some guys apparently banged her.

>> No.11748062

what did she do to the food you little cocktease

>> No.11748065

I couldn't think of a convincing lie for that bit so decided to gloss over it.

>> No.11748069

I'm pretty sure she had a ketchup bottle/Windex bottle of dirty mop water and sprayed a tiny bit into everything
She never really specified but she did mention a mop

>> No.11748073

'Corn' is actually the linguistically correct term for a single seed from a grain type plant. What Americans are referring to as 'corn' is actually maize.

>> No.11748218 [DELETED] 
File: 177 KB, 346x428, [HorribleSubs] Houseki no Kuni - 10 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_15.53_[2018.10.19_22.10.44].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Grindr date made me cream my pants with his foot under the table. I wish I were joking

>> No.11748290

Their loss.

>> No.11748301

I wish I was gay, it would be so much easier to just get aroused by men instead of having to deal with courtship and being rich and shit

>> No.11748330

Dad takes me to Burger King because I want a hamburger. Stops in the parking lot and tell me to go in and order. Go inside and order a Whopper for eat in instead of take out. Too embarrassed to make a correction. Take Whopper meal to seat and mimicking eating. Pick things up and walk out when cashier is away.

>> No.11748382

It's the first step that counts

>> No.11748413

>house salad story

Thanks for that

>> No.11748589

>but you don't see anybody endorsing pederasty today

Idk bro I just saw a child drag queen on the news and they were acting like it was cute...

>> No.11749789

Went on my first trip abroad to London with a friend and we always went for breakfast at the McDonalds opposite our hotel. On the last day I order something and the cashier asks if I want to make that a meal.
That was the only time in my life that I completely brainfarted and just couldn't understand what he was saying at all. He repeated himself like 4 times before I finally understood him.
I was really embarrassed in the moment but a few minutes later I got over it cause I didn't make a concious decision to do something dumb.

>> No.11750105

Be more embarrassed about calling them burgies, anon

>> No.11750107

a ton from when I was growing up, my dad was the definition of entitled boomer

>> No.11750144
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>out with some friends at a sitdown
>we were already a bit buzzed from a few rounds of shots and just kept ordering more drinks
>waitress comes out with our food and accidentally dumps a big fuck all bowl of scorching hot soup on my chest and lap
>fly out of my seat knocking her away a bit and yank off my shirt while trying to wipe it off the front of my pants
>screaming and hurling the foulest fucking curses I could think off because I had zero filter at this point
>finally look up after 15 seconds of dancing around and screaming and the entire restaurant is looking at some drunk shirtless soup soiled man standing there like an ape

I mean I gave pretty little fucks at the time and had to leave because I was drenched in soup but I feel awkward thinking back on it. Buddies thought it was funnier then hell.

>> No.11750202

Found a smelly 20 in a bathroom in this cuban place i go to every now then and used it for the waiter's tip

>> No.11750212

Eating out anywhere and having my mom still pay for everything. Pretty embarrassing if I'm being totally honest.

Other than that, I once tried to grab the menus from my waitress as I was sitting down and she made it painfully obvious that she wanted to lay them down on the table herself. Shit was awkward as fuck because she was hot as fuck and made me feel dumb as fuck.

>> No.11750244

One time I made the mistake of tipping 15% instead of 20%. I only realized this after the fact I haven't been back out of embarrassment and because I'm afraid they will spit in my food.

>> No.11750794


Even if this isn't true, picturing a guy and a cashier exchanging a second of awkward eye contact before he floors it gave me a good chuckle.

>> No.11751191

this sucks. i'm sorry

>> No.11751259

when i was a kid i saw the king of the hill episode where cotton teaches bobby to smack your waitress on the ass and say "'bout time" whenever she brings your food and i actually did it at a western sizzlin

>> No.11751456

How long did you spend in jail for sexual assault?

>> No.11751464

One time on vacation when I was like 9 years old I ordered the jumbo nacho platter. The waitress warned me, kid it's big. I wanted it. 5 adult servings of nachos on a giant metal serving plate came out just for my dish, and it was my 5 person family at a small hightop so I had to eat at a separate table with my giant nachos. It was embarrassing because I was FAT in retrospect lol

>> No.11751598

>sitting upstairs in burger king way too high
>accidently throw the whole platter in the garbage, people waiting behind me.
>walk away with a straight face, see friend internally dying of laughter
>lose my shit halfway going downstairs
>every looks at me and friend
>can barely see through tears and bump into a little girl

>> No.11751798

>Buddies thought it was funnier then hell
It is. Wish I was there witnessing your spasms. Do you still remember what exactly you said to the waitress?

>> No.11752205

snapping a gameboy in half at age 6 is impressive even if you do have down syndrome

>> No.11752889

>accidently throw the whole platter in the garbage
How the fuck can this even happen? Unless you were high af to a point where speaking becomes difficult, there is no excuse for such retardation.

>> No.11753190
File: 35 KB, 384x315, 1385174064768.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>that house salad exchange

Sounds like straight out of a sitcom.

>> No.11753281

I nonchalantly referred to something ridiculous or obnoxious as being "pretty gay", loud enough that the obviously homosexual waiter heard me. I didn't realize what I had done until after we left and gf scolded me but I did notice the waiter was really rude to me just didn't know why.

>> No.11753335

She sounds sweet.

>> No.11753337

This thread fills me with great relief that I will never be this autistic/stoned in all my life.

>> No.11753861

Kek your waiter and gf sound pretty gay dude.

>> No.11754554

you were trying to be helpful. you went about it like an absolute retard, but its the thought that counts.

>> No.11754574

>rice corns


>> No.11755136
File: 869 KB, 1354x784, 1546184982284.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

wow what a total fucking cunt, no wonder her bf broke up with her

>> No.11755156
File: 282 KB, 468x408, [HorribleSubs] Houseki no Kuni - 02 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_08.17_[2018.06.15_23.03.42].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Best thing to do in this situation is to make fun of yourself. Wait til he approaches you and be like "haha I think you should handle it after all" and then pull down his pants and suck his dick

>> No.11755169

You need to ruin her life, fucking with food is the Big No No

>> No.11755195
File: 160 KB, 313x313, disgusting.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>staying in berlin for a few months
>i'm confident about my german, and i'm so excited to use it
>get in late, so nothings open
>oh well, i hear burger king is better in europe!
>walk in, read the menu fluently (though it's basically english), and figure out what i'm going to order
>ok, here we go. this is it.
>"guten abend! die..." blah blah blah in german
>cashier responds with something
>oh shit, i have no idea what she just said
>"wie, bitte?"
>says it again slower, i still have no clue
>freeze up completely, just stand there staring like a deer in the headlights
>she flashes me a smug grin and says in perfect english, "for here or carryout?"
>"c-c-c-carryout, bi-uh, please"
i felt so ready

>> No.11755294

If you didn't sperg out you could have gotten free shit or a phone number.

>> No.11755326


Teebie-peehaytch, you probably earned just a tiny bit of her respect by just getting that far.

>> No.11755328

I don’t tip. Cause I don’t give a shit if they do desu

>> No.11755329

> go to subway
> only customer there
> they start making my sandwich
> adds meat and is adding toppings
> another person walks in
> they set my sandwich aside and ask them what they want
> walk out

>> No.11755352

When I went to France
>went to a restaurant, nothing fancy
>see a qt3.14 serving, time to put my french to the test
>She comes to my table, "Ah bonjour mademoise-"
>I let out the loudest fart ever
>my ass felt like the end of a balloon when you blow it up and let it go
>she just stares at me
>my spaghetti has been dropped, time to leave lads

Yeah I don't think I was gonna get her number after that

>> No.11755388

that was the perfect moment anon

>> No.11755435

Everybody's skin tolerance is different.

Even hot soup could cause 2nd degree burns depending on the skin area.

Hell, someone managed to sue McDonalds over spilled hot coffee before.

>> No.11755464

>go to indian restaurant
>order spicy curry
>dude tells me that it's extremely spicy
>I insist on ordering it
>first bite is extremely painful
>spicier than anything I had every eaten in my life
>try to pace myself
>instant pain anytime I eat a piece of meat
>have to go blow my nose every minute because of snot
>eventually order a drink to cope with the spice
>woman working there tells me to not order anything spicy next time
It was pretty tasty at least.

>> No.11755468

Why are whit*ids so pathetic?

>> No.11755616

>shitskins never accomplished anything without the white man's help

>Loool whitey can't handle a little pepper we use to cover up the taste of feces in our food


>> No.11755636

Anon you're too smart to be biting such low quality bait.

>> No.11755682

>telling someone smoking and driving is /pol/
>hurr weed is good for you makes you smart

>> No.11755766

>go to self serve chinese buffet
>shitty food but it's real cheap and I'm hungry on a budget
>find a table
>leave a plate there so people know it's taken
>fill up my other plate with what I believe is taco meat
>get back to table and see someone has given me multiple forks
>but I already had forks on the table
>oh well
>eat until full
>go to pay
>right before I leave one of the staff runs up to me
>he says "tip fo me?"
>apparently he brought the forks earlier
>I say no I can't and I also didn't ask for shit
>"tip fo me?" "TIP FO ME!"
>I tell him to fuck off
>I freak out a little and run
>he tries to chase me but 3 smaller chinamen hold him back while apologizing
10 years later I saw him working at a diner and immediately left.

>> No.11755773

You should have put the tip of your dick in his hand and then peed all over it.

>> No.11755792

His hands were all veiny and spooky though. Like imagine if George Takei went through the teleporter from the fly with an emaciated dog or like a Wendigo.

>> No.11755830


That wasn't no regular burn, man

>> No.11755874

This is an incredible story true/!true and I wish to see it on youtube

>> No.11755907

Man there's something about a woman dressed like the wolf on wall street that just gets my gears a turnin'

Also the exceptional effort to not swear was pretty funny in this set. I'd like to subscribe to their newsletter and learn more.

>> No.11756126

>go to buffet

Or that time I went to that chinese buffet

>go to chinese buffet

>> No.11756347
File: 7 KB, 183x275, 116BDBB9-58BB-4F8B-9434-8EF87B21C050.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Me and my two chink friends eating at KFC
>They didn’t get a dessert because they felt like having a McFlurry
>Drive them to the McDonalds across the street
>I fuck up and miss the entrance to the drive thru, they tell me to just go in through the exit instead
>It is the tightest blindest narrowest corner I’ve ever taken
>Have to make a 5 point turn
>Hit the curb
>Some bemused hobo is watching me fucking up
>There isn’t any space to turn around, so we go through the drive thru the wrong way
>Luckily we’re the only ones there because who the fuck eats lunch at 5pm
>We get to the booth where they take the orders
>Since I’m on the wrong side it’s the two chinks that make the order
>They are constantly interrupting each other, talking other each other, and changing their minds as to what kind of McFlurry they want
>This goes on for almost 5 minutes
>Once they finally make their minds up and order the lady taking the order can’t understand them
>I have to lean across the passenger and yell the order to her
>Reverse along the drive thru to pick up our orders
>Have to take the hellish corner in reverse now
>Hit the curb again
>We park in a nearby car park
>One of the chinks says he doesn’t want to eat in the car because he’s afraid of making a mess
>Go and eat our ice cream in the McDonalds

>> No.11756361

Picturing some kid miming eating a burger then walking out with the full meal still on the tray is the funniest fucking thing I’ve imagined.
Thank you for this post anon

>> No.11756370
File: 2.56 MB, 3840x2160, DSC_5420.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

When I went to South Korea I couldn't say anything more than please and thank you. The only restaurant where that was a problem was the first one I went to, and the waitress' contempt was both obvious and justified.

>> No.11756523


This happens to me every time I try to speak foreign languages ;_;

>> No.11756558

On holiday once I ordered a calzone that was so big I couldn't finish it. Whole family watching as the waiter took it away.

>> No.11756595


>> No.11756617

Not a restaurant but, at a cafe
>in my freshman year at uni
>decided to check out campus cafe
>never ordered coffee at a cafe before in my high school life
>instead of getting a normal latte, I saw "expresso shot" on the menu
>order one
>they bring a tiny cup
>ask and protest at the barrister of why my coffee is so small
>they explain that this is the right size for a "shot"
>quickly leave the cafe while a dozen of customer waiting in the line stares at me

>> No.11756752

>be 11, living in Japan
>go to Denny’s
>start playing tabletop football with my mom while we wait for our food to arrive
>go for a field goal and shoot way too high, smacking a woman in the next booth over in the back of the head
>sit mortified for the ready of the meal
>apologize roughly through the language barrier while they leave, she laughs and says it’s ok

>> No.11756781

>go to black eyed pea with mom and grandma
>everything is going well
>main course comes out
>about 10-15 minutes in to meal, grandma finds fly on edge of her plate
>obviously wasn't there when food came out
>obviously fell in from window or some shit
>she proceeds to throw bitch fit
>yells at young waitress
>young waitress continually apologizes, and is on verge of tears
>after grandma bitches her out long enough, manager finally comes out
>assures grandma there are no flies in the kitchen, it had to have gotten in the dining room from outside
>he comps her meal
>asks if she'd like a fresh one
>she says no
>various servers walk by out table throughout the rest of the meal snickering at us
>seems like they just wanted to see what we looked like
>when we leave, servers open both doors for us with grins on their faces
Fuck that shit was awful.

>> No.11756796
File: 24 KB, 339x297, FC379B48-9A08-453F-829D-EC92E9047579.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>go to wendys after gym late at night
>drive thru
>after ordering realize I forgot my wallet
>explain situation to window guy who is an older black dude
>told him I’ll be back soon as he gives me dissapprovingstare.jpeg
>embarassment central
>f-zero my way back to apt, grab wallet, and head back to wendigos
>drive straight to pick up window and pay for order no problem
>as I leave black guy nods and smiles as if he expected me to not come back and I actually pulled through and did

>> No.11756831

>She would also snap her fingers at the waitress
God damn how mortifying

>> No.11756841

>the barrister
the male equivalent of barista is baristi, a barrister is a laywer

>> No.11756919

Apparently not though

>> No.11756979

I'm surprised he didn't just let you have it anyway, and tell you to pay for it next time. Older black guys and gals are usually pretty cool about that kind of thing.

>> No.11757015

The very first time I ordered a burger from a non fast food place and they asked me "how would you like your burger?" and I responded with "uhh.... good"

>> No.11757123

>work at a fast food place
>one time our manager arranges a get together at Applebee's between all the morning crew, about 8 people
>the day of, this high school thot which whom we were working accidentally sent a nude of herself in the work group text
>so she's getting harassed by the two 30yo black guys and doing that "haha, you guys, stop it" thing
>my manager keeps asking by super uncomfortable questions about my sex life
>this broad who worked for there a total of three weeks but happened to be employed during this drops a hair in her own food then makes a huge scene about it and gets half the food comped
>super embarrassed about the whole thing, fake a text, drop 20 on the table and leave
Next day
>find out my manager paid for everyone's for that wasn't comped and the two black guys took my money and bought weed with it
That job fucking sucked. Easy work, though.

>> No.11757177

No wonder you work fastfood, that post was utterly incomprehensible.

>> No.11757211

Yeah, that was a fucking tort. Why didn't you sue?

>> No.11757346

Movie adaptation when ?

>> No.11757525

stop browsing 4chan

>> No.11757533

>wtf why don't people like me risking everyone on the road's life just because I'm a pathetic stoner reddit!!!!!

>> No.11757555

> Go to indian restaurant
> Ask for spiciest item on the menu. This is Europe so it can't be actually spicy.
> Waiter walks by and asks in thick indian accent: Too spicy for you my friend?.
> Shit my guts out that night. Take a long haul flight next day.

>> No.11757558

anon forgot to ask for a bag, and picked up the food and took it with him without a bag
I'm sure dad would of beat anon silly if she left the food in the fine dining establishment
what is inside those?

>> No.11757572

I had a similar situation when I invited my grandma to a Vietnamese restaurant. The spring roll sauce was too vinegary and she proceeded to verbally abuse the waitress. Grandma went into treatment for dementia after that.

>> No.11757578
File: 22 KB, 400x350, 1451276109259.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>only eat out when my family brings me
>mom deconstructs the menu all the time (one time ordered a vegetarian pizza without the cheese, sauce, or half the vegetables)
>always says 'we're here to pig out' and demeaning shit about us all the time to waitstaff for some reason
>when they ask how the meal was, dad says "We hated it! And such small portions!" every time in the same inflection, then laughs to himself
>dad stops waitstaff from taking the dishes, saying "haha I forgot to lick the plate!", no one has ever laughed
>they recently became vegan
>they always pick a restaurant 'just to try it' then are really offended that some steak house or some shit doesn't have vegan options
>they wonder why I don't like going out to eat

>> No.11757600
File: 79 KB, 750x1000, thedonuts.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>just had surgery
>go to restaurant with family to celebrate
>my cousin and 2Cs are invited
>youngest 2C is almost two
>he starts screaming
>his older siblings start to throw a fit
>grandma and cousin need to go pee
>getting really sick of their screaming
>I put lemons in each of my 2C's mouths and make them suck on it until the rest of my family comes back
>waitress sees this
>never go there again
>too embarrassed

>> No.11757618

top kek

>> No.11757667

Reminds me of the parents who always "tip with a rip" and bend their knees to rip the back of their pants, allowing loose change to fall out of their ass.

>> No.11757685
File: 14 KB, 236x334, 907d21965bd1153ca1aab6ff68ef8303--kancolle-google-search.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

t-thanks anon

>> No.11757687

>went to tapas place with parents and little sister when I was about 15.
>Dad ordered $16 worth of food for four people because "it's four separate dishes, it should be enough"
>waitress tries to explain the "small dishes" concept to no avail
>food arrives, it's not anywhere enough for four people
>ask Dad order more food
>he says no, I'm not giving more business to a shyster restaurant
>if anything, the restaurant is cheap, what we got isn't enough for four people, but a lot of good quality food for $16
>we finish eating what we got in about 2 minutes, he gets up in a huff to pay at the counter
>he's so incensed he refuses to stop even once to get food or even some chips on the three hour drive back home

My childhood memory is filled with Dad causing retarded shit in restaurants and stores that both frightened and embarrassed me. He's definitely on the spectrum, and I have no idea how he got married and had a career and shit.

>> No.11757696
File: 26 KB, 240x320, 6C88CA85-AD0E-4FDA-94D0-0A676B7B13B0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

holy fucking autism

>> No.11757706

>snapping a game cube or game cube controller in half at the age of six
Wtf do you have Superman Syndrome or something?

>> No.11757711
File: 33 KB, 640x640, 1524341672404.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>people STILL think that was a bullshit frivolous lawsuit

>> No.11757721

Kek, the idea of some retard hacking everywhere while making a Silly laughing sound while spasming made me lose my sides

>> No.11757754
File: 1.93 MB, 245x246, AAB17CA0-1304-49A5-B2B5-7AB377BE6776.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be me
>at a restaurant with family
>order steak and all that
>making good conversation with brother who was also there
>waiter brings food
>says “have a good meal”
>respond with “you too”
>family looks at me like i have Down syndrome
>their face when

>> No.11757764

I forgot to mention it was an SP.

>> No.11757794

One time I actually fucked up a meal. I’m not sure who if I was an actual fuck up though. I still think Applebee’s could have compromised with me.
>me with 3 friends
>drinking that night, decide to eat shitty Applebee’s appetizers
>get quite a bit of food while listening to drunk fat woman sing kareoke
>something like 2 orders of hot wings, spinach artichoke dip, won ton tacos, those weird egg rolls they used to have, and maybe one or two other things
>at the time Applebee’s had half price appetizers after 9 pm
>this is reason I ordered so much, expected it to be around 25-30 dollars
>bill comes out
70 something dollars!
Basically I refuted the bill, I was pretty confused. Waitress says that we needed to sit in the bar area to get the discount. We were literally 2 feet away from bar area. I asked if she would do a one time discount because we had no idea about the bar seating rule, she said no. I had to walk out to my car in shame and get my wallet with me fucking tip money from my pizza delivery job I had at the time and try to cover the rest of the bill with that. One friend pitched in a bit as well. We tipped the waitress a penny. Who was in the wrong here?

>> No.11757821
File: 121 KB, 777x1033, 1536334953458.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>would you like super salad?
>yes please
>which one?
>um the super salad
>your choices are soup or salad, sir

>> No.11757823


>> No.11757906

>he prefers to taste the rat feces in his unseasoned tendies

The absolute state of the white "race"

>> No.11757920

>>shitskins never accomplished anything without the white man's help
I never understood this ideology

>Go on vacation with family.
>Go to continental breakfast.
>Have to make your own waffles.
>Waffle batter machine gives me 2 cups of. waffle batter instead of one.
>Have to cup the extra in hand as to not make a mess.
>Think I can just run it over to the cup station and put it in, no more cups, no trash can, line for waffle maker is long.
>People are watching me now
>Just eat all the extra batter
>Eww faces all around
Wasn't my first swallowing a raw load of batter. Just wish people were watching.

>> No.11757929
File: 5 KB, 300x168, images (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11757934
File: 144 KB, 1500x997, 1543358811505.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11757984
File: 66 KB, 528x792, 1547161736158.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tip with a rip

>> No.11758108

My fucking sides! My co workers are looking at me like an idiot now thanks

>> No.11758161

Just kimchi. They were really good.

>> No.11758304
File: 260 KB, 266x207, 1541824942669.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be sophmore in highschool
>friends invite me to dinner at todai, which is basically a massive all you can eat asian buffet downtown
>its like almost the entire top floor of one of the taller buildings downtown
>kind of 'upscale' with the service, people are dressed nice
>chow down on awesome yakisoba and abuse the chocolate fondue fountain
>get ready to go
>friends whip out three or four gallon size ziplock bags and start looking around for employees
>wtf i didnt sign up for this
>they tell me to take a bag and dont get caught
>nearly have a panic attack
>watch them try to be sneaky and fill the bags
>one of the waiters shrieks "NOOO!" and other incomprehensible things
>turn around
>power walk to the front and pay for my meal
>mfw the lady at register looks at me
>half the floor staring at my friends getting chewed out
>noodles falling out of my pockets
>leave and never come back
>friends call/text later asking what the fuck happened to me

>> No.11758369

true story

>bartender: what'll you have?
>me: uhh...do you have any alcohol?
>bartender:......it's a bar
>me: alright, a shot of Everclear
>bartender: we don't have that
>me: well what do you have?
>bartender: *serves me a glass of water, walks away*

>> No.11758374

Not even fucking close you neet

>> No.11758378

I was McDonalds high at the drive through, took the drinks I had ordered and then drove away without grabbing the bags. Searched for 10 minutes in my car with my pissed off friend. I wouldn't have gone back if he didn't get so pissed at me. When I got back to the window I see all the employees laughing their ass off :(

>> No.11758386

I know ya'll are goofing to get your boys on /ck/ to have a laff but honestly wagies don't care about weird and awkward shit unless they're big spergs themselves. People do shit like "y-you too," " let me get a cheeseburger no cheese," etc all the time.

>> No.11758401
File: 578 KB, 677x677, 1499063927719.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>12 years old
>eating at redrobin with my family
>overweight, probably weighed about 160 at 12 years old
>family with a cute little girl sits in the booth next to us
>she keeps staring over at me and our table
>think nothing of it since it's a 6 year old child
>scarf down my poorly made bacon cheeseburger
>have to shit
>ask to get out of the booth to use the restroom
>stand up 3 feet away from girl and her family and brush off anything that was on my shirt
>little girl opens her mouth and shouts loudly
>can hear her family and mine all begin to chuckle while her dad hushly tells her that's rude while laughing still
>go to the bathroom
>look in the mirror
>i am a big guy
>for her

>> No.11758501

The waitress 100%

Any place that does that shit should make it extremely obvious. They should have warned you as soon as you ordered an appetizer and if they really didn't, I would have only paid the sale price.

>> No.11758511

She knew what you were doing and should have told you before she let you order all of that. I always check first since a bartender got me and my friends with something similar.

>> No.11758622


>> No.11758644
File: 39 KB, 393x862, ae36e390775985379d6b035da65f8013.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It always gets me

>> No.11758693
File: 1.38 MB, 2448x3264, IMG_6161.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Two friends and I at a sit down restaurant
>Waiter brings us all water, with straws like in picture
>Mine doesn't have the straw wrapper still on
>To the waiter "why doesn't mine have one"
>Waiter stares and walks away
>Friends proceed to die laughing

>> No.11758695

Not super embarrassing, but brings me discomfort remembering it.

>27th birthday at "nice" dinner with sisters and their husbands
>great time, great food, had a few drinks
>suddenly, loud scream and lobster bisque drenching my back
>remain calm, it's hot, but not scalding
>immediately stammering young waitress speaking way too loudly how sorry she is
>entire restaurant is staring
>I'm so sorry, let me get the manager, I'm so sorry over and over
>just get me some towels, its fine
>continues to babble on even as I repeatedly say in a calm tone, "it's fine"
>manager arrives and is screeching an apology
>lose temper, finally very loudly yell "IT'S FINE!"
>everyone is staring
>leave restaurant smelling like lobster bisque

My siblings suggest we go back some time, but the thought makes me red in the face.

>> No.11758698

When I was a kid I got nachos with no chilli because I thought chilli meant chilli peppers and it would be spicy. Just came out as a bowl of corn chips, cheese and sour cream.

>> No.11758715

are you me? I did the same thing (but at home). If it’s the game I think it is, that one is super fucking rage inducing.

>> No.11758753

Later while ordering for the meal
>"What kind of rice do you want?" (White, Brown, fried)
>"Uhh... Normal rice"

McDonald's drive thru
>Joking with friend about what to get
>"Need my tendies"
>When I'm ordering
>"Can I get nuggs"
>"Uh... What piece chicken nuggets would you like?"
>"... Sorry, I'll have a number 2 please"

Random McDonald's story
I normally order a mcflurry every time I go. Friends ordered their stuff. I get told the ice cream machine isn't working. Pull to window and the window lady gives me four mcflurry's for free

Friend orders four burgers for himself. Cashier gives him a look and says "Four burgers?!? Really?"

>> No.11758905

>enjoying some fair food
>realize I forgot to get a drink
>walk to the nearest stand
>"Hi, what can I do for you?"
>"yeah, uhh can i just get a dr pepper"
>tuts at me
>"oh a doctor pepper? That's all you want? A doctor pepper that's alllll? "

It was really uncalled for

>> No.11758983
File: 59 KB, 640x480, 1547512347020.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I once sat down across a girl at a resturant because there were alot of people. She left not long after I ordered my food. She didn't even finish her meal

>> No.11759064

>mimic eating
>I once went to A friend house where he invited bunch of new friends
>cool new friend hand me a bag of candy
>took one out
>he said oh that's a wrapper. Grab another one dude
>i grabbed another
>it's wrapper too. Wutf
>too embrassed to grab another one
>unwrap and pretend to eat
>most difficult part is to pretend there is a hard candy in my mouth while talking to them

>> No.11759086

more frequent bathing and not wearing mlp gear in public would most likely eliminate this problem

>> No.11759090

Happened to me too when in France. I used Google translate and try to simulate all the possibility. Always this fucking curve ball

>do you have our store card?
>do you want to heat up that quiche ?

>> No.11759149
File: 89 KB, 500x500, MV5BMzU1YWQxMTYt[email protected]._V1_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It was Mario vs Donkey Kong.

>> No.11759339

you werent trying to be helpful. you were virtue signalling like a fag. how in any way does preventing the waiter from throwing away trash help him? it doesnt and you know it.

>> No.11759366

ive done that too. just shrugged and moved on

>> No.11759410
File: 60 KB, 640x480, 211689_1238347049290.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>go on date
>get seated for fancy dinner
>she goes to bathroom first
>realized i have to go too
>wait 3 mins forever alone feeling socially awkward
>date returns
>excuse myself for bathroom
>return to seat
>tfw 3 more hours of feeling socially awkward 30 miles away from dates home

>> No.11759425
File: 80 KB, 295x214, Bs2SMEGhw3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be al/ck/
>go with then gf to see Beauty and the Beast
>drunk before we even get there
>black out before the previews are over
>don't remember a fuckin thing about that movie
>gf doesn't yet realize exactly how fucked up I am
>vaguely remember walking into shitty chinese buffet and making a heaping plate of meat
next day
>gf tells me I nearly got arrested
>says I pushed my plate off on the floor and started quoting Bane from TDKR
>says I stood up and ripped my shirt open
>also said "WHAT?! I'm RICH." and laid $200 down on the table
>shoved restaurant staff on my way out
>mfw she wanted me to go back there sober and apologize

>> No.11759479
File: 17 KB, 399x388, nxtangr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>go to sit down pizza hut with waifu
>order 2 pan pizzas
>1 pepperoni
>1 Hawaiian bbq
>get steaming hot pizza
>gf says get salad
>tfw ayce salad buffet
>waifu keeps looking at me while I get salad on dishes
>waifu smiles when I return
>waifu says eat your pizza anon
>eat pepperoni pizza
>tastes different
>extremely spicy
>waifu laughs her ass off
>tfw sweating profusely
>tfw cannot ever trust gf again
>mfw everybody is looking

>> No.11759570

Did you respond with the appropriate level of violence?

>> No.11759576

>Working register at a burger place in Oklahoma.
>Good ol' country boy comes up
>"I'll have an Arnold Palmer"
>I have somehow never heard of an Arnold Palmer before so think he's joking about ordering alcohol, which we don't have
>He doesn't realize that customers get their own drinks from the soda fountain.
It was an extremely awkward conversation as we both stared at each other, wondering how somebody could be so stupid.

>> No.11759601

Yes I made her beg for forgiveness

>> No.11759649

you ever see her naked?

>> No.11759669

first day here?

>> No.11759701

>on a roadtrip
>14 hour drive
>oh look they have white castle in this state
>get food and walk to sit down
>feel strung out and dizzy for driving that long
>fumble the tray a bit
>the fries fall off onto floor
>in an autistic hunger induced fit of rage, I slam tray on counter
>drop on floor and ball all the fries up in like 1 second
>fries are hot so it hurts
>makes me more pissed off
>slam/throw it into trash can while screaming GODDAMMIT
>walk back over to shove tiny burgers into my face and leave
>the woman behind the counter puts new fries on tray for me.

>silently sit there and eat
another one

>go out to dinner in a touristy area with whole extended family
>everyone is married or with their fuck buddy except me of course
>and my female cousin
>its a party of 18-20 people
>all couples order as units and ask to be on their own checks
>I dont notice this because im socially retarded, I just order like normal
>i sit beside cousin so i have someone to talk to
>after we eat I get check
>its got a bunch of bullshit I didnt order
>uh excuse me wtf is this?
>get angry while they explain they put my wifes stuff on my check
>thats not my wife, thats my cousin
>everyones staring at me and I feel embarresed
>while they are fucking around, I just tell them ill pay for both of us anyway
>everyone thinks this is all hilarious
>leave flustered without saying bye and forget my card there

I got it the next day and they auto tipped me. I was so pissed off.

>> No.11759709

this gave me a boner
except for the gay part you faget
spiteful women are hot af

>> No.11759717

>said the word "Yummy" four times in a row.

>> No.11759764

>Put coffee between your legs
>"B-but it was super hot"
She deserved it, don't put fucking hot liquids between your legs especially while moving I don't give a shit, don't be dumb

>> No.11759813

Boomer priviledge

>> No.11759926


>> No.11759978

how about you don't be a piece of shit in the future

>> No.11760019
File: 31 KB, 305x203, SmartSelect_20181105-165347_Discord.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

you're right, i was just embaressed for making the mess since it was the only trash at the table desu

>> No.11760038


>> No.11760171

>Quoting your own unfunny greentext

>> No.11760824

I've done it multiple times and it just hurts a little. I'm not even infertile. You take your risks based on what you can reasonably expect the consequences to be. McDonalds created a situation where the consequences exceeded what can be reasonably expected.

>> No.11760921
File: 1.12 MB, 450x337, 1540347527988.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

whenever someone asks for 'spicy' it is the kitchens obligation to fuck you up. Its a challenge to us.

>> No.11760933

Women needed to get married to an earner back then, because a gender bias in the job market made it difficult for a woman to earn her own way. Likewise, because of that same gender bias men had to compete with 50% fewer people to land a career.

>> No.11760935

the thot 4sho

>> No.11760973
File: 1.04 MB, 300x225, 1530822853374.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11760994

Which stories are you talking about? I didn't see those ones.

>> No.11761021
File: 740 KB, 850x464, 1522138440203.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

excuse me, what the fuck did i just read?

>> No.11761023

Red as a lobster, perchance?

>> No.11761220

I don't get it. Why didn't yours have one?
Polite sage.

>> No.11761336

Haha I thought of the same post. Anyone have a cap of it? I remember they had gag menus "big menus for big people"

>> No.11761344

If you search the web you can find a cap in a Reddit thread.

>> No.11761382

Found it, thanks anon

>> No.11761438
File: 79 KB, 700x933, 5e288165795b7ca4b0f89146b8e68248.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11761499
File: 168 KB, 1332x543, wetipwitharip.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Got you covered.

>> No.11761500

pissed on my pants because of poor aim, piss ricocheted off the urinal and on to my pants
luckily I had my friends with me so I just told them I'm fucking off to fix my shit and I'll pay them back later

>> No.11761578

Wanna fight?

>> No.11761590


>> No.11761614
File: 45 KB, 400x400, tip with a rip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11761629

I’d say the both of you, your fault for not checking, her fault for not confirming. Never pay for something you don’t know the price for, but common business practice means she definitely should also have made sure you knew about the discount. Great way to lose customers there.

>> No.11761682

Go home white piggu

>> No.11761703


>> No.11761706

>Not self-aware enough to be embarrassed on own account

>> No.11761714

What a slack bartender. I would have just upped and left after that

>> No.11761716

I think that's what the bartender was signalling he should do. He was probably underage, or looked it.

>> No.11761723


>> No.11761729

Lots of kids wear a dress when they're young. There's nothing inherently feminine about skirts or the color pink or whatever, it's just pieces of fabric. I don't know how you conflate this with fucking someone up the ass.

>> No.11761746

>look, on the menu, "local chicken"
>weird, what's that mean
>is that like locally-raised chicken
>I dunno, let's ask the waiter
>what's this "local chicken"
confused pause
>uh that's "lo-cal" chicken, it's low calorie

>> No.11761778

It's because they have to wash their hands or change gloves after using the register so they make a couple sandwiches at a time especially if there is only one worker, it's more efficient.

>> No.11761797

How young are you

>> No.11761802

What kind of restaurant that has a bar does not serve beer. Wat.

>> No.11761834

Don't order shit you don't know what is before at least asking what it is.

>> No.11761853

Did you wear a dress as a child? I certainly never did, nor did any of my friends.

>> No.11761854

I wish I could do psychicpebbles-esq animations for this reason.

>> No.11761861

She probably still thinks about that encounter.

>> No.11761868

You're probably fine. I'm sure she could tell you're high as fuck.

>> No.11761894

It was. Stupid old cunt shouldn't have been fucking with a hot coffee lid in a moving car.

>> No.11761897

>be 25
>never had a embarrassing restaurant experience because i am not an autist

>> No.11761920
File: 31 KB, 504x272, 1545282089741.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You probably made that cashier's day desu. I'd be in fucking stitches.

>> No.11761930

They had hundreds of cases of the same shit happening and did nothing, and it was substantially higher than the temperatures sold at most other places. Of course she was using it in a car, it's a fucking drive through.

>> No.11761937
File: 2 KB, 125x89, 1546790341018.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be me
>go to sandwich shop (subway JJ's pita pit whatever)
>ask for chips and drink with whatever I ordered
>walk out and leave chips on counter
I have done this at least a dozen times in my life already.

Supposedly I'm genetically predisposed to alzheimer's and I think I'm well on my way there.

>> No.11761942

Wrong anon, nigger.

>> No.11761962

AFAIK it was the fact McLawyers showed that they dnt give a fuck about it and said they wont change shit that fucked them over

>> No.11761965

Imagine some red eyed idiot just staring blankly at the cashier while Eye of the Tiger plays faintly in the background. That's comedy gold.

>> No.11762105


>> No.11762108

>in burger king in the uk first time paying with pound.
>with euros the smallest value coin is the smallest size.
>huge row behind me
>2pence is the biggest coin, 1 pound is small , some coins are hex shaped.
just opened my the coin compartment of my wallet and let the cashier pick the coins out didn't say a word.

>> No.11762394

Good to know some yuros are as dumb as us burgers

>> No.11762402

>McDonalds created a situation where the consequences exceeded what can be reasonably expected.

It's coffee.
Coffee is made using boiling water, how is that unreasonable? Should they serve cold coffee instead?

>> No.11762418


>> No.11762439

Read the court case paperwork. It's public record.

the TL;DR version is that at the time McD's coffee was far hotter than what is normally served, and there were many cases of customers being severely burned by it. The story about the dumb lady burning her crotch with it was not the only incident, it was just the one most people heard of because it made the news.

That said, I agree with you 100% that it's common knowledge that coffee is made with boiling hot water and you're a fucking idiot to handle it carelessly. "Hot" vs "super fucking hot" doesn't really matter.

>> No.11762466

yes, mayonnaise is very spicy

>> No.11762574

you mean the dick in the ass?

>> No.11762583

Idk. He forgot or something
I didn't care, but was half joking, half commenting on it

>> No.11762681

only in america saying a word triggers a chain reaction of rage and faggotry

>> No.11762699

really? I'd pay you money to walk around in Iran chanting "Jesus" over and over again.

>> No.11762711

What would that do? Jesus is considerd the penultimate prophet in Islam and he's pretty highly respected. Some Shia-muslims (which make up the majority of Iran) believe in the 2nd coming, with him and the Mahdi teaming up to beat the antichrist.

>> No.11762736

>accidently throw the whole platter in the garbage, people waiting behind me.
we used to do this on purpose in highschool and eventually that specific mcdonalds stopped giving out trays for a while

>> No.11762752

You think those details matter?
Lol. A fatass obvious foreigner wandering around chanting Jesus would start a massive shitstorm.

>> No.11762939

This is an embarrassing story about working in a restaurant, not eating at one
>Working at a local place as the salad chef, it's pretty nice and I'm enjoying myself
>One night I get a call saying my parents want to come by and try the place out
>I agree because normally my parents are at least somewhat civilized about this sort of thing
>Everything goes fine until nearly the end of the meal
>My mother, who's been drinking the whole time, just barges right into the kitchen and yells (at the top of her lungs) "ANON, MOMMY'S HERE!"
>I'm 30 at the time by the way, utterly humiliated as the entire staff and customer base begin laughing, trying to ignore my mother as she hugs me from behind and keeps screaming out loud (which she fucking NEVER does by the way)
>Father eventually has to come into the kitchen and drag my mom away, apologizing profusely the whole time
I never lived that down and was mocked for it until the day I left. To this day I have no fucking idea what possessed my mom to do that, and the few times I've brought it up she just rolls her eyes and tells me I was overreacting (even though my dad totally disagrees)

>> No.11763006
File: 31 KB, 456x320, 1426858342702.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>at a restaurant
>order a pizza
>I'm about halfway through when the waitress comes up from behind me and asks me if I called for her
>evidently she was mistaken but I panic
>stutter out "some salt" because it's the first thing that comes to mind
>she brings a salt shaker
>fuck fuck fuck I don't need salt
>grab it from her hands and pour it on the pizza
>waitress looks at me weird then walks off
>try to eat the now extremely salty pizza
>almost puke
>waitress comes over again
>"everything ok sir?"
>at this point I'm panicking
>think I should be funny to defuse the situation
>make a funny face at her and knock over my drink spilling all over the table
>what the fuck did I just do
>full blown panic attack at this point
>jank out my wallet and throw $50 on the table
>literally run out of the restaurant
This was 2 years ago, I have not eaten out since, and my face is burning hot just writing this.

>> No.11763110
File: 28 KB, 238x186, B1759752-E2D7-477B-9140-F41C34C4555D.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Holy fuck, the weapons grade autism.

>> No.11763123

By lots do you mean approximately half of the population, that also have vaginas. If that is what you mean then I wholeheartedly agree new fren

>> No.11763300

>>drive through Raising Cane's high as a kite
I hope you crash and die, hopefully not taking anyone else with you.

>> No.11763347

I refuse to believe this is real

>> No.11763359


>> No.11763564
File: 10 KB, 225x224, 1543888098047.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11763623

I don't give a FUCK if you're /pol/, reedit or what. Take your virtue signaling somewhere else

>> No.11763704
File: 94 KB, 960x720, wR1pwQc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>have some sort of music competition in high school
>eat lunch at dairy queen
>a white girl and a black girl from another school are seductively licking ice cream cones at me
>black starts hitting on me hard
>I say I'm not interested in a relationship
>white asks me out
>I give the same response because it's obvious what she's doing
>get called a racist anyway
I wasn't racist, I was a devout Christian avoiding sex.

This second one is much more embarrassing to myself.
>school trip to a mall
>like 9-10 different schools were there
>out of easily over 1000 people only me and one cute(ish) girl got Greek food
>she sat alone and looked like she had no friends
>I didn't try to talk and eat with her

>> No.11763780

That's pretty hilarious.
If you were 30 and embarrassed by it instead of appreciating the humor, shrugging it off and having a laugh at it yourself, you need to grow the fuck up and grow a thicker skin. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

>> No.11763797




>> No.11763841
File: 77 KB, 800x786, VG0YImQ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's pretty funny, but it seems like you played it off the opposite of cool.

>> No.11763851

>Analogy that doesn't highlight any specific correlation except "Old thing changed"
Half of 4chan is still weeb shit, the website is still stuck with the same core design it had from the start newfag

>> No.11763914

The McDonald's there had received mutlipel warnings about serving their coffee at well above acceptable temperatures, too.

>> No.11763923

A faggy cocktail lounge

>> No.11763938

I shit in the floor next to the toilet in the bathroom of a McDonalds once. Completely intentional.

>> No.11763955


>> No.11763960

Everyone who worked there universally agreed that it was horribly embarrassing, so I don't agree at all. Having your drunk mother yell at you in front of a crowded restaurant is the opposite of fun

>> No.11763972

What kind of fag whines about coffee being too hot?

>> No.11763979

I assume the fag who gets 2nd degree burns?

>> No.11763991

The coffee was 180-190 F, 82-88 C

>> No.11764055

>Be me, about 12
>Tall, skinny gangly fuck with ridiculous growth spurts that fuck with my knees something fierce.
>Dinner at a kind-of nice Italian place in KC with Mom, Dad, sisters, and Dad's mom and aunt from Illinois.
>Food is great, service is great, we have a fun time, nobody's doing anything stupid or obnoxious.
>Adults get a bottle of Chianti, you know, the cheap kind with the wicker basket around the bottle.
>Ask Dad if I can take the empty bottle home because it looks neat.
>I slide out of the booth while grabbing the bottle.
>Right knee says:
>Flat on the floor
>Everyone does the dinosaur
>Bottle goes scurrying off across the floor
>Look up at Dad
>Whole place thinks I'm a 12yo drunk

I'm 54 years old. I remember this episode like it was yesterday.

>> No.11764063

>t. fags

>> No.11764069

>The coffee was 180-190 F, 82-88 C
iow optimal coffee temperature.

>> No.11764075

The final "undisclosed" settlement was around $42K. By that time, she had incurred nearly $100K in legal fees.

>> No.11764139

Search for Desmond is Amazing, then come back here and say that again.

>> No.11764169

>be 8 years old
>family goes to Mickey Deez
>local one just got a new playplace
>eat half my dinner in like 5 min and ask my parents if I can go play
>put shoes in playground shoeholder run to the ballpit
>literally 30 seconds in stomach starts grumbling
>oh fug gotta shit bad
>run out of ballpit, grab shoes and halfway to bathroom shit my pants with the most fluid-like shit imaginable
>stop and just walk back to my family
>they ask why I came back so fast
>told them the slide was closed
>mfw sat the rest of the meal bathing in my own feces
i miss being a kid desu

>> No.11764216
File: 15 KB, 620x430, stella_liebeck_burned_by_mcdonalds_coffee[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If the coffee is hot enough to do this, it shouldnt be served (this is the old lady that sued McDonalds)

>> No.11764243

Sweet fancy Moses, is her skin made from rice paper?

>> No.11764267

>>Say, "I'll have a pepsi."
Kys immediately

>> No.11764305

Are you female?

>> No.11764350

Because the waiter wanted to do it bareback

>> No.11764352

I wasted 1.38mb downloading that picture to see if it helped the story, because the thumbnail didn't load. It really didn't.

>> No.11764361

Honestly it's as much mcdonald's fault as it was Ford's or Liebeck's. McDonald's served black coffee at the optimal temperature, Ford made a car without cupholders, and Liebeck was an infirm 79 y/o. All reasonable things until you combine them.

>> No.11764477

I wasted 1.39 sec reading your post to see if it helped the story, because the thumbnail didn't load. It really did

>> No.11764532

Wouldn't you ask for ID in this situation

>> No.11764691

They do this to collect the cans and bottles for return fyi

>> No.11764748
File: 702 KB, 720x558, 20190115_193542.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There's a Mexican restaurant in CO that has the drive thru on the passenger side

>> No.11764890

did they fall for it?

>> No.11764939
File: 72 KB, 900x900, 1438480514419.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Any time I'm at a restaurant or bar with my dad is super embarrassing
>go to Luby's (his favorite)
>they ask him what he wants
>"I have to fight with you all every time to get what I want"
>blank stares from servers
>"well what would you like?"
>mashed potatoes with extra gravy
>Ah ah ah - Not that gravy, the white gravy!
>Ah ah ah - I want you to make use the ladle to make a bowl out of the mashed potatoes for the gravy (excessive hand motions)
>Ah ah ah - I also want a bowl of white gravy on the side
That's his entire order
>at the table
>waitress comes by
>asks how we're doing
>do we need anything
>"This is my middle son."

>> No.11764969

why not use napkins?
surely they at least those
though I can't believe they didn't have a trashcan, you must have just not seen it.

>> No.11764986
File: 45 KB, 600x600, 477732678.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>go to my favorite chinese restaurant
>Dad telling me story about hos friend that visited China
>talking loudly
>all staff and other customers can hear
>his friend wouldn't drink the water in China
>only bottled water
>afraid of getting sick
>he got the shits anyway because he poured the bottled water over ice
>pointing at our water glasses
>waitress comes over
>asks if there is a problem with our drinks
>have to try to explain he was telling a story, no problems
>"This is my middle son. I have 3 sons."

>> No.11765033

don't worry anon, I understood your post.

>> No.11765061

what kind of fucking friends do you have anon. who does shit like that?

>> No.11765081

entirely your parents fault for you being that fat at 12, assuming you weren't like 6'2". javascript:;uick Reply×



>> No.11765108

Come back when you have a story worth telling

>> No.11765131
File: 68 KB, 662x557, 1457485687848-0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be 13
>school found out I was playing the trumpet
>they asked me to play Silent Night at the Xmas festivity
>I didn't want to, but they made me
>it was a huge failure, because in the temple I played it was fucking freezing cold and couldn't use my lips properly on the metal
>feel ashamed because the whole school saw me fail
>dad brings me to my favorite Indian restaurant to cheer me up
>the tables are separated by 1,5 meters high separater walls with fake plants on top
>I lean my trumpet nect the fake wall at our booth
>the wall immediately falls over, pushing the next table right into the next wall, making that one fall over as well, and so on and so on in a domino effect for an entire row of tables
Was my worst day of my life for a long time. Turns out a pebble from the fake plants pot were stuck under the wall, hence the first's fall. In any case: mfw.

>> No.11765151

Why would your dad take you to favorite Indian restaurant and not your favorite restaurant period? Seems you were setup for failure.

>> No.11765160

That would explain the bargaining instead of just being quiet or laughing at the story.

>> No.11765176

I hope so but it's the kind of thing that the more you think about it, the likelier that I think he didn't fell for it

>> No.11765237

it was actually very common if you go back more than a hundred years.
fashions change and he's right, there's nothing inherently feminine about that kind of clothing, you don't find kilts feminine do you?

>> No.11765258

Most Americans absolutely find kilts feminine, because they're basically dresses and dresses are feminine.

>> No.11765314

you fool

>> No.11765350
File: 214 KB, 680x937, _20190106_114506.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm a man I don't need to know the names of ladies clothes!

>> No.11765410
File: 17 KB, 442x304, 1423858883598.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11765690

Was nigga we kicked them out.

>> No.11765767

except we're still here you illiterate halfwit.

>> No.11765834

>working at a shitty local pizza chain
>super annoying, picky customer calls to place an order
>bad mood when i pick up the phone, worse after i hang up
>spend the next 5 minutes talking shit about the retarded cunt
>she pops her head around the wall, in the kitchen and tells me she heard every word i just said
>apparently she placed her order from the car outside
>feel myself dying inside while she berates me and all i can do is act humble to keep my job
>can't even rub a poo finger on her pizza b/c shes standing right there being pissed while i cut her pizza
fuck pizza, fuck restaurant customers, and fucking thank god I don't work in food establishments any more.
hungry people are the biggest fucking assholes.

>> No.11766341

I can be whatever you want me to be anon

>> No.11766343

I winked at a waitress as a kid once.

>> No.11766397
File: 134 KB, 1024x695, robin-williams-good-will-hunting.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's ok anon, it wasn't your fault.

>> No.11766406

Sorry you’re an asshole bro

>> No.11766449

>using masculinity as an excuse for stupidity

>> No.11766484

i understood everything but i had to read it twice
>manager and group go out to eat
>girls accidentally sent nudes to group (unrelated)
>someone finds their own hair in food, flips out, get 1/2 price everything
>anon pretends he got a text and puts money down and leaves
>manager ends up paying for everyone
>black coworkers took anons money and bought weed

>> No.11766495
File: 77 KB, 1350x669, marcos full life consequences.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Does delivery count

>> No.11766510
File: 153 KB, 638x468, 143635C6-BF1E-4B89-96D5-EF3051864EF0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

then why would it start anything against the fact that it wouldnt make sense? lol?

because you think theyre intolerable people? yeah, walk down houston texas chanting "mao zedong" or "hezbollah" or even "muhammad" and what would happen? nothing because niggas dont give a fuck.

>> No.11766528


>> No.11766569

>hungover as fuck
>go to nearby wendy's
>have baconator
>halfway, feel nauseous
>head to bathroom
>suddenly heave out all the food i just ate
>nearby woman shrieks
>puke the rest out in the bathroom
Thankfully I was moving out in a week so I won't meet the same people again.

>> No.11766608

Tipping a penny is code for "I don't have enough money to leave you a tip."
I leave cunts like that 7 cents so they know I think the service was shit.

>> No.11766623


based and seattle sushi pilled

>> No.11766637

>who does shit like that?

>> No.11766678

Why? Doing stuff like that is how you get magic to happen in life.

>> No.11766685

No, they should serve it at a drinkable temperature.

>> No.11766702

Not until you put a lid on your vice signalling.

>> No.11766834

Had a buddy of mine call another friend of mine a faggot while standing in line at a restaurant. Some dumb bitch behind them walked out while having a tantrum because of muh homophobia.

>> No.11766847

>It's 2019. Anime is full Reddit.
You only think this because you've been using this website for 3 years tops.

>> No.11767246

ayy! wasnt todai fun! it was fun when u didnt have jerk friends
jerk friends and jerks

>> No.11767405

>appreciating the humor
If my mom barged in drunk into my place of work like that I'd have her kicked out and wouldnt talk to her for a month. I don't give a shit who you are, you don't disrespect somebody like that.

>> No.11767438

Thanks for this.

>> No.11767569

honestly why I’ve never wanted to get high, I’m awkward enough as is I kind of fear what a me with even less control would be like

>> No.11767572

Did you fuck?

>> No.11767780

Your dad unironically has autism.

>> No.11767904

>2015 or 2016 i guess
>in restaurant with my mum
>everything is alright
>suddenly a woman who I can only describe as Southeast Asian walks in our direction
>she was kind of cute
>"Fuck, she's going to talk to us, isn't she?"
>says "Hello" in broken English
>my mum looks at me like "Wtf is this, son?"
We're not from an Anglophone country ok
>says some unintelligible thing and "I thought you were a grrrrrl"
>I had long, flowing wavy hair and it didn't help my beard never grew in my teenage years (still doesn't)
>I'm slightly embarassed but I continue to listen to her
>"Haha I'm soreee. U hav lon hair so I thought u are a grrl"
>haha alright what do you want
>"I'm Filipino blahblah yadda yadda I work for a charity organisation. Could you help us a bit?"
>explain to mum what she wants
>"Sorry, we can't help you. Good luck."
>she thanks us, says bye and leaves
Also, everytime I go to that restaurant, the Chinese owners say "Why don't you get more greens? It's good for your health!". I understand you're concerned with me, Miss Wang, but it should be time you learnt I don't like many greens

>> No.11767955

>2017 trip to France
>friend wants some chinese food
>we sit in a restaurant which seems to be staffed with mostly asians
>from initial interactions at the door, none of them spoke a lick of english
>make a comment about team rocket wanting to rape a 10 year old boy and his pet mouse
>the one fucking asian waiter who is fluent in english approaches right as i said “rape a ten year old boy and his pet mouse”
>don’t know how to respond because i thought my joke was
funny, yet inappropriate.
>server was a man so he laughed anyway.
>double down once everyone else is out of ear shot and comment how i’m glad a girl didn’t hear it and remind her why she moved to france.

they served shots of vodka in little shot glasses that showed a picture of a naked woman. once you took the shot the picture was essentially gone. guess everyone there had a thick skin.

>> No.11768025
File: 6 KB, 217x232, 1546841765226.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.11768034

Yeah ok, drunk and rowdy (in a drunk manner) can be annoying.
Take that away and you have a pretty funny situation.
Like parents calling an Xbone or a PS4 a Nintendo on purpose, just to annoy their kid.

>> No.11768180

Sure, but then don't act surprised and complain if it is not what you "expected". That's my issue there.

>> No.11768424

>taking such cheap bait
anon what the hell?

>> No.11768448

top zoz

>> No.11768575


>> No.11768769

What ?

>> No.11769183

fuck off retard

>> No.11769286

Are you Larry david?

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