/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11672177]

Line cooks, roll call

[Anonymous No.11672204]

Cold side here

[Anonymous No.11672244]

>>11672177
fuck off sous chef i run this bitch

[Anonymous No.11672257]

>>11672244
>not Chef De Cuisine
>not running this bitch

[Anonymous No.11672265]

You cooks need to tell your war stories. This shitty board needs some quality content.

[Anonymous No.11672302]

>>11672265
ask and you shall receive
>dinner service couple nights back
>working saute/flat-top
>steak goes out perfect mid well
>service ramps up, tables are ringing back
>cookin it up
>minutes elapse
>server comes back with steak
>"uh yeah anon they want this a little more done, he said mid well but he wants no blood"
>donthavetimeforthis.jpeg
> throw filet into fryer for 5
>goes out as hockey puck
>"wow chef anon he loves it!!"

Deep fry your filets boys.

[Anonymous No.11672323]

>>11672302
Thank you anon

[Anonymous No.11672333]

>>11672323
this board is dead, glad i could help

[Anonymous No.11672352]

>>11672177
Never again. Fuck that.

[Anonymous No.11672709]

>>11672177
Yes, chef, I'm here. Find me when family meal is ready

[Anonymous No.11672710]

>>11672302
Never been a line cook.
Does this actually fucking happen

[Anonymous No.11672720]

>had a dream I was still working in a kitchen
>woke up with heart beating fast as fuck
NO CHEF FUCK YOU CHEF

[Anonymous No.11672937]

>blast techno

[Anonymous No.11673041]

>>11672720
>had a dream I was investigating a store clerk aiding a domestic ISIS cell
>woke up with heart racing after confronting him about some footage I saw of ISIS fucking his wife
Before that it was Gandalf trying to address the Roman court or some shit, and he was getting pissed because everyone was whispering.

[Anonymous No.11673221]

How do I improve my kitchen banter?

[Anonymous No.11673236]

>>11673041
>Before that it was Gandalf trying to address the Roman court
oh no wonder they were whispering, who the fuck is this plebian approaching the upper classes of the legislature while wearing a cheap knock off toga?
get a real toga or wear rags like the rest of the peasantry.

[Anonymous No.11673251]

>>11672710
Most of the time it will get thrown back into the grill, oven, or chef mike until it’s cooked to shit

[Anonymous No.11673334]

>>11672177
Why does that man look simultaneously age 25 and age 45?

[Anonymous No.11673524]

>>11672302
>be me
>just want the fried jerky experience

[Anonymous No.11673933]

>>11672204
Reporting

[Anonymous No.11673935]

>>11673933
Must be hard prepping plates on a wall.

[Anonymous No.11673939]

>>11673935
I don't know why it does this.

[Anonymous No.11673942]

>>11673334
Sex genes

[Anonymous No.11673948]

>>11673221
Literally just talk shit to the other end of the line so loud the dining room can hear you.

[Anonymous No.11673955]

>>11673221
I watch a lot of Scottish bus fights (drunken arguments) and post on /int/.

[Anonymous No.11674045]

>>11673933
clean your fucking station troglodyte

[Anonymous No.11674054]

>>11672720
>had dream
>within dream hear the ticket machine from work
>wake up yelling "whats the new money!? in gf's face"
fuck kitchens.

[Anonymous No.11674061]

>>11672710
happens more often than you think. busy places almost universally microwave steaks that are off temp. really depends on how much the chef gives a fuck.

[Anonymous No.11674071]

>>11672177
OP here.
will gather photographs today for the /ck/ gang.

[Anonymous No.11674079]

>>11674071
also when the fuck we opening a foodservice establishment?

[Anonymous No.11675067]

>>11673933
Protip: take the picture, text it to yourself, then upload the picture tou texted. It'll come out the way it should be.

[Anonymous No.11675089]

>>11673251
>chef mike

[Anonymous No.11675157]

>>11673221
Whenever you see a motherfucker walking to the back for something or taking it off of your section, make sure you yell "Cmom man! Stock your fucking station!" Made the pantry hoe yell at me cause she literally just sold all of her mixed greens for salads and i told her to stock her station

[Anonymous No.11675164]

>>11672204
Lobster louie in the window chef!

[Anonymous No.11675340]

I've been at a new job for less than a month. In the kitchen, of course, was hired as a line cook.
Two weeks ago, I was given a two dollar an hour retroactive raise, and on Christmas Eve, I was made chef. Found out today that I'll be heading south in the new year to help the owner train up some people who will be opening franchises of this place.
Life is fuckin' good, boys. I love this shit.

[Anonymous No.11675536]

>>11673933
Looks like dogshit but I'd still eat it

[Anonymous No.11675543]

>>11672710
Ive deep fried a lot of things on the fly, cauliflower, steaks, chicken

[Anonymous No.11675562]

>>11675067
Thank you

[Anonymous No.11675563]

>>11675340
Sweet

[Anonymous No.11675607]

>>11675562
No worries. I, too, got fucking tired of sideways pictures. Food looks goofy on its side.

[Anonymous No.11675664]

>>11674054
Had a dream last night where I accidentally said that I hate black people while walking in Cleveland and some guy pulled out a knife and chased me into the street

[Anonymous No.11675685]

Bartender here
Shoutout to my boys in the kitchen for keeping me fed, and generally being way more chill than FOH.

[Anonymous No.11675702]

>>11675685
No worries, man. You stay chill with us, and we'll stay chill with you. Besides, the easiest way to make the FOH employees happy is to keep them fed.

[Anonymous No.11675965]

>>11673221
You just need to be wittier and more confident. Sex jokes are a cop out.

>>11675164
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.11676020]

>>11675562
no plates on boards chef

[Anonymous No.11676049]

>>11675965
You wouldnt pay 26.99 plus tip for my delicious salad?

[Anonymous No.11676080]

>come back from a smoke break
>see colleague pouring soup through a strain
>defeated look on his face
>check order slit
>"one French onion soup; no onion"
I laughed all the way through the restaurant.

[Anonymous No.11676103]

Eurest, a cafe for office buildings, im high af every day

[Anonymous No.11676107]

more like line KEKS hahahahahahaha

[Anonymous No.11676115]

>>11676049
again what the fuck

chock full of raw capsicum, two fuck off boiled eggs in the lobster's head, two fuckoff pieces of asparagus with the skin still on, an avocado full of OLIVES

you need to kick whoever made this menu in the dick

[Anonymous No.11676124]

>>11676115
>capsicum
holy shit, what a fag lmao

[Anonymous No.11676828]

How'd the night's service go for everyone?

[Anonymous No.11677145]

>>11675685
>>11675702
GM here. Free pints as long as bar and kitchen are spotless by the time I'm done with the books. We can even talk about FOH since they leave so fucking early.

[Anonymous No.11677184]

>>11672244
Ayy sous bro over here, fucking untamed barbarian line cooks know nothing of our struggle.

[Anonymous No.11677471]

>>11676080
Did that faggot of a customer also order a side of mashed potatoes without potatoes?

[Anonymous No.11677494]

>>11677145
Hi GM anon. Kindly explain to us what "accounts" you keep track of in the books and how much accounting you need to know to run a restaurant. I'd like to know.

I know the basics of accounting.

[Anonymous No.11677521]

>>11675664
I hate black people too. Just carry a gun next time and if any one gets mad you shoot him

[quiche !!T2UdrWkLSWB No.11677572]

>>11672177
fish garnish reporting in
although I've just started a month off

[Anonymous No.11677831]

>tfw dishbitch

[Anonymous No.11678193]

>>11674079
I'm down.

[Anonymous No.11678276]

>>11677145
Where do you work that FOH leaves before BOH? Must be either a very expensive place or a Darden corp shithole because most places don't work like that, I'd say 4 out of 5 places have FOH closing everything and BOH bails the second the clock strikes close.

>>11677494
Not that guy but I've done his job, it's mostly just consolidating sales from the day and comparing them to other days in that week and other weeks on the same day or this day last year, etc, to get a feel for the level of business, then you keep track of labor costs and look at who is in OT already so you can let them go early tomorrow. Balance and stock any tills that go back out (bar drawers usually), taking payment cash and credit card receipts altogether for the bank deposit in the morning. Check your food costs (cost of goods sold/COGS) and labor costs (together "prime cost") and contrast them with your sales for the day. A lot of it is just data entry to a larger system like a spreadsheet so your company can track data over time.

[Anonymous No.11678596]

>>11678276
Yeah it's an expensive place. People like to assume that expensive restaurants have more wiggle room financially to not worry about labor costs but in my experience it's actually the opposite. It takes FOH a shorter amount of time to close up the dining area and clean everything than it takes for BOH to clean the kitchen (I demand it to be pretty spotless but the bastards I work with do a great job) so I tell them they can clock out as soon as the head waiter gives a thumbs up on inspection. Barstaff also has to split tips and keep a copy of their own books and I require a soft nightly inventory before we completely close that gets posted for the next day which takes a bit less time than BOH but more than FOH.

>>11677494
After I get done making the registers right, I will log the number of tickets, the sales that day which are placed next to the last 5 years in sales, the spreadsheet has an automatic formula to give me percent change. I also look at percent change between number of tickets, sales per week, alcohol vs food sales ratio, labor costs over time, food costs vs sales, and alcohol costs versus sales. The management team keeps some shorthand notes on these figures in an accounting log that we use in order to log important bits like if we were significantly up or down, or if theres troubling info about our sales vs costs in one area, etc.

[Anonymous No.11678628]

>>11675340
Live it up while you can but you should know that's commonly a massive red flag

[Anonymous No.11678631]

>>11672177
Broil side player here

[Anonymous No.11678658]

>>11672204
That glass plate is awful.

[Anonymous No.11678665]

Who here drinking problem?

[Anonymous No.11678695]

>>11676049
>>11675164

The egg is cooked to death, the vegetables don't really look like they belong together. I don't like how the capers are just thrown in there. I would just make little meat cakes outa the lobster beat and mix in the capers.

[Anonymous No.11678698]

salad and d-desert here....

i count too right bros....

[Anonymous No.11679237]

hear you guys take lots of stimulants for work

[Anonymous No.11679290]

>New Years soon

[Anonymous No.11680336]

>>11678695
>not turning the yolks and capers into a gribich and using it as a bed for discs of lobster
>not entirely omitting the asparagus, capsicum, cheap mixed leaves

also
>lemon halves with seeds

in all honesty the dish is just a trainwreck

[Anonymous No.11680360]

>>11672177

[Anonymous No.11681795]

>>11676020
The whole line is a cutting board

[Anonymous No.11681845]

>>11672265
nothing really interesting happened when I was a line cook for a few years but I remember this one time when I was training a newbie
>Teach this new guy how to make dishes and how to fry shit in the fryer
>Order comes up for some wings
>he is working the fryer and dumps in the wings
>manager comes by like 6 minutes later and asks about the wings
>new guy says they're ready and puts them into a bowl to sauce toss them and sends it out for the manager to bring to the table
>manager comes back with the wings, mad because they were still raw inside, the customers got up and left after this fuck up
>new guy didn't fucking pay attention to my simple instructions and basically ignored me when I told him to look at his first fuck up
the new guy disappeared 2 weeks later, not sure if fired or quit but this faggot was dumber than me.

[Anonymous No.11681859]

>>11672177
Nope. I moved on to catering. More freedom, less stress as long as things (people... especially parents of the bride and groom) are managed properly. It was this, or murder the owner of the restaurant I was basically managing when I wasn't sous-chef to a Ramsey wannabe...

My final words in that kitchen were "I cut YOUR cheques. I prepare YOUR menu. I own you, and now I'm selling your ass down the river you fucking hack."

[Anonymous No.11681860]

>>11678276
Must be nice nah senpai the last FOH ppl are the bartenders but we have to basically reset the line and make sure all that equipment looks stainless steel agian from top to bottom.

[Anonymous No.11681884]

>>11672265

One cooks totally fuckin sucks like his work ethic is quantity over quality.

>dinner shift time
>old school grill char coal powered
>he let's the coals die to embers
>grill basically becomes useless
>he knows this
>starts throwing mahi,lobster,steaks into the microwave
>mfw he literally cooks with the microwave
>managers turn a blind eye since he's the one who agrees to working on his days off for them.

Cheap labor yields cheap work

I'm not innocent myself but goddamn he actually cant cook. It either goes out raw,burned, or microwaved

[Anonymous No.11681924]

some strange bastardization of sous chef and line cook here lads
just about ready to murder each and every single new hire we have right now, trying to teach fucking zoomers is like trying to play darts with a concrete wall, they literally cannot fucking look away from their phones for more than 10 minutes at a time unless i'm breathing down their fucking necks

[Anonymous No.11682053]

>>11678695
Hes a millionaire with an attitude problem with four restaurants. Ive only met the rich prick once. Rich mormons eat weird shit. Can post more horrors next time im in work

[Anonymous No.11682057]

>>11672177
WASSUP HOMIE -lolls-

[Anonymous No.11682133]

>>11681884
I'm not a chef or anything but even I wouldn't be microwaving meats or even FISH.
None of those things even take long to cook.

[Anonymous No.11682190]

>>11672265
>get a new chef cook
>he is one of those retards that think you need to constantly yell and pretty much picked up their whole behavior from hell's kitchen and other retarded cooking shows
>takes drugs and drinks although he is never under any stress
>when I asked him why he is actively trying to kill himself he told me that I should just read a couple of articles about famous chef cooks and how they all end up being alcoholics and drug addicts

Getting the feeling that this retard larps himself into death because he thinks that everything his role models do is a necessity for his job.

[Anonymous No.11682203]

>>11681924
> phones in a hot kitchen
Nasty

[Anonymous No.11682247]

>one dinner night the manager comes to us to tell us to be careful with this particular order
>apparently some asshole is allergic to a trillion different things and wants stir-fry
>suddenly the entire line cook team becomes an actual team and we work fast to get this fancy custom order made
>guys running back and forth to gather non sorted ingredients from the fridge room
>tossing ingredients across the room to each other in plastic baggies
It doesn't sound like a big deal but everyone here where I worked at were always passively aggressive to each other, but in this moment, I felt happy because we were on the same page for once, fucking guys are usually high on something and the manager doesn't really give a fuck 90% of the time. I do miss working as a line cook though, working closing was nice because I got to make whatever the fuck I wanted to eat for lunch and dinner in the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.11682253]

>>11682057
Head limecook btw

[Anonymous No.11682459]

>>11674054
i still hear the ticket machine in my nightmares

[Anonymous No.11683172]

>>11681795
that's pretty gross bacteria-wise

[Anonymous No.11685156]

>>11674054
i used to work overtime every week for a couple years at a pizza place that always had 4-5 servers on staff during peak hours and would have a recurring nightmare about being the only server during a rush that kept coming