Welcome to the Cu/ck/ and Bull

[Anonymous No.11597406]

What can I get for you?

[Anonymous No.11597427]

Can someone please explain clearly how you actually order a drink at a bar? I’m scared to go to one because I feel as though I’ll be humiliated by everyone for not knowing the terminology that they use.

What is “on tap”? What is “on the rocks”? Can I just say “one beer please”? What’s the difference between beer, liquor, vodka, alcohol, mixed drinks etc.? Do you pay right then and there or do you put it on a “tab”? What if you say “put it on my tab” but then you just get the drink and leave?

[Anonymous No.11597429]

rum and coke please

[Anonymous No.11597432]

Pour a shot into my asshole.

Here's a 5.

[Anonymous No.11597434]

>>11597406
Why is /pol/eddit so obsessed with cuckoldry?

[Anonymous No.11597435]

>>11597427
>being this autistic

Stick to the soda, please.

[Anonymous No.11597446]

>>11597435
I do but I’m wasting my life indoors and alone and want to meet people my age and socialize. I just don’t know how and I’m scared of being humiliated.

[Anonymous No.11597453]

>>11597427
Just ask for a drink you like, or think you'll like, and I'll pour it for you or find the closest we have

>>11597429
Well okay or you got a preference mate?

>>11597432
Ill give you the shot and the funnel, bathrooms the door on the left back wall. On the house because I wanna see how this goes.

[Anonymous No.11597463]

>>11597406
I'll have a beer.

[Anonymous No.11597472]

>>11597427
Can someone please explain to me how to order a burger at a steakhouse? I'm scared to go to one because I feel as though I'll be humiliated by everyone for not knowing the terminology that they use.

What is "grilled"? What is "medium rare"? Can I just say "one burger please"? What's the difference between ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomato, onion, etc?

>jesus christ anon get it together

[Anonymous No.11597481]

>>11597446
Fuck it, I don't know why I'm doing this. But here you go.

1. On tap means what beer is well, in a tap.

2. On the rocks means ice in your drink.

3. One beer might not cure your obvious agoraphobia. Stick to the shots, it'll do the trick faster.

4. Alcohol percentage.

5 and 6. I'd suggest paying your tab, I've skipped out on tabs a few times, but honestly, don't be a fuckhead and just pay the poor bastard.

Godspeed.

[Anonymous No.11597486]

>>11597427
I'm going to assume you aren't baiting for the sake of possibly helping someone this bad at how to into bars.
>on tap
Most bars will have beers on tap in chilled pressurized kegs. These come out of the pull handles behind the bar. They're typically domestic brews if you're in a dive (shitty) bar, but nicer establishments will have a wider variety on tap. This will usually come in a 16oz glass, as opposed to a 12oz bottle or can.
Most bars also have bottles if you prefer them.
>on the rocks
This just refers to straight liquor on ice. The rocks are ice.
>one beer please
Of course you can ask for "one beer please". They will often ask you what kind you want, so don't sperg out. Even if you feel your spaghetti coming on, just ask them what they'd recommend. Or "I don't know, do you have a beer menu?"
>put it on my tab
When you order your first drink they will ask you if you would like to start a tab. Nearly everywhere will ask for your ID or for your credit/debit card to hold onto so that you don't walk out on your tab. Walking out on your tab is what you described.
Lets review
>on tap
they have it there in a keg and will serve it in a glass.
>on the rocks
on ice.
>put it on my tab
Don't pay for your drink and tip immediately, leave them with your card to accumulate drinks and pay/tip when you're leaving.
There you go, anon. I truly hope you were baiting, but if you weren't, then cheers m80.

[Anonymous No.11597500]

>>11597472
grilled is... cooked on a grill, yunno. It has crsipy black lines on it.

Rare=more pink, well done=no pink, and all the way in between.

The menu says whats on the different burgers. Just let me know if you want to leave something off or add it.

Heres a shot of house whiskey on me, might help you relax a bit. All friends here.

>>11597463
well what kind?

[Anonymous No.11597502]

>>11597427
I missed that one part. Liquor is typically 80 proof, or 40% alcohol by volume. Beer usually hovers between 3.5%-8% depending on what you like. Mixed drinks are somewhere in the middle.
Just figure out what you like. If you don't have a lot of experience drinking in public, just stick to beer. Mixed drinks can tend to creep up on you because they're so sweet usually, and probably 7/10 adults I know just downright can't hold their liquor.
Assuming you're a man, nobody is going to be sympathetic if you throw up on a bar floor, let alone a pool table.
Godspeed you sweet, autismo, wannabe drunkard anon.

[Anonymous No.11597513]

>>11597486
To add to this, if you explain you're a raging autist and haven't been to a bar or tried much alcohol, they'll typically serve you a free sample of whatever you want on tap. The beer pours out of the dispenser device. They can point you in the right direction for mixed drinks that don't taste too alcoholic too.

[Anonymous No.11597514]

>>11597486
*don't pay for your drink OR tip immediately
That read a little wrong. Don't tip them every time you get a new drink. Tip at the end.

[Anonymous No.11597518]

>>11597481
>>11597486
>>11597502
Thank you gentlemen. Now I just need to work up the courage to enter the bar

[Anonymous No.11597520]

>>11597427
you say "one beer on the rocks please, shaken not stirred" and they will know you are a patrician. All beer is the same so it's extra redpilled if you don't even say what kind you want.

[Anonymous No.11597530]

>>11597406
I don't really drink at bars, but if I do I will order a long island iced tea, or if the bartender is a lady I use my cult leader tier charisma and offer to buy her a drink (vodka cranberry, vodka something) if she mixes mine stiff.
I don't bother with clubs or anything where it's too loud to really talk to a bartender.
If someone else is buying I just make it easy and get whatever they're having.

[Anonymous No.11597538]

>>11597518
It's not food related, but I'm wondering what's up with you. Do you smoke or shoot pool? Both of those things are god tier for socializing if you're out drinking anyways.
I wouldn't say START smoking to make friends, though. You said you want to meet people your age. You aren't over 30, are you?

[Anonymous No.11597542]

>>11597514
don't do this if you want good service. if you're paying cash, tip every drink. in the US at least.

>>11597406
for me, it's the screwdriver

[Anonymous No.11597552]

a corpse reviver 2 thanks
the rose is fine if you dont have kina or blanc in stock

[Anonymous No.11597553]

>>11597530
Comin right up.

Also you gotta stop doin that mate, I lost Chelsea last week because she said you keep creeping her out.

[Anonymous No.11597554]

>>11597518
Remember to knock, but no more than two times

[Anonymous No.11597557]

>>11597552
A fellow man of culture I see

[Anonymous No.11597559]

>>11597406
hey sabu, can you make a bull shot?

[Anonymous No.11597561]

>>11597538
I’m 23 and American, never been to a bar. I know how to play pool, probably no worse than the average person. Just scared of literally everything and everyone. I just want to be normal.

[Anonymous No.11597564]

>>11597518
Talk to the Bartender to get your nerves down. Plus he will already know the regulars and they’ll talk to you by association

[Anonymous No.11597571]

>>11597542
Gonna need to see some personal identification laddie.

>>11597552
with blanc and nolet sound alright?

[Anonymous No.11597572]

>>11597561
What about "everything and everyone" scares you? What's the outcome you're afraid of?

[Anonymous No.11597577]

>>11597561
Too bad you don’t smoke, it’s, as the other anon said, god-tier for socializing. But, you’ll get by with drinking a few beers and talking to people at the bar. It might sound ridiculous, but just drink until you aren’t nervous.

[Anonymous No.11597580]

>>11597542
Well yeah, but he was asking about how tabs work. You would look like a fucking retard if you were running up a bill on a card but still sweatily pushing a few one dollar bills towards the bartender every time you got another beer.
>t. american who has worked at several bars.
If you're paying in cash, then yes. With card/tab, no.
If I wanted anon to look like a moron, I would've said "ask what beer is the cheapest".

[Anonymous No.11597588]

>>11597572
Looking stupid and out of place. Getting humiliated by a random person. Being made fun of to other’s amusement. Not fitting in and knowing I don’t belong. Fitting in on the surface but afraid to form a deeper relationship because they’ll find out what a loser I am.

[Anonymous No.11597593]

>>11597553
It's cool. I'm polite about it and not a turbosperg. It also helps that I am handsome and women go out of the way to talk to me at bars.
>tfw the outliar data of the chans
I didn't say it would work for everybody, that's just what I do.
I'm just wearing a chad costume for the most part, but I can talk to ladies without creeping them out.

[Anonymous No.11597604]

>>11597559
It might be a minute, id have to send the busboy across the street to beg for the stock from les petit paris

[Anonymous No.11597623]

>>11597604
very funny, can you make a shoe smell

[Anonymous No.11597626]

for beer: "I'll have a pot/schooner/pint of (beer brand)."

[Anonymous No.11597666]

>>11597593
Sure

[Anonymous No.11597674]

>>11597561
You'll make it. The bartenders are there to make you feel more comfortable, believe it or not. They don't mind casual conversation if you need to warm up or something. Just mention that you're new to the area, ask how's it going, where ya from, etc.
If you see three people awkwardly shooting pool and you can muster up the courage, ask them if they could use a fourth.
Introduce yourself and mention that you could use some practice (everybody agrees that they're not that good). Remember names as best you can, and shoot ONE game.
End things off by saying "Thank you guys that was fun. I'm going to go have a seat at the bar for a bit, if you'd like to shoot another game, then you know where to find me."
wa-la
It might be weird at first, but the more you do it the more natural and easily it'll come to you.

[Anonymous No.11597681]

all right tell me if im autistic if i do that

>Only one bar/restaurant in my city serves my favourite schnaps
>Whenever I party with my friends the insist on going somewhere else
>Every hour or so i leave the table, say im goin for a walk and walk for a minute to that restaurant
>Order a shot of schnaps, take it, pay the barman and tell him I'll see him later

Once a friend of mine had her birthday, so proposed that before I'll buy her a shot of it, but when we walked and barman saw me and instantly pulled out the bottle of schanps she looked at me funny

should it stop going there

[Anonymous No.11597708]

>>11597681
You have a drink. It's endearing. Don't be afraid of your own character, embrace it. Helps a lot with anxiety.

[Anonymous No.11597710]

There's a difference between obnoxiously hitting on someone and offering to buy them a drink in exchange for better service at a place where they're known to drink on the job.
But you're right. I should probably get my duster cleaned off and make sure I lint roll my trilby next time I try that one.

[Anonymous No.11597729]

>>11597681
>Sneaks out of bar, regularly, when with friends for schnapps
Wtf, man? What a pretentious pice of shit you are.

[Anonymous No.11597735]

>>11597666
>>11597681
Not everyone has as difficult a time as you make for yourself, anon. Please be kind to others, and god forbid try to do some good in this world.

[Anonymous No.11597751]

>>11597729
It's not like I'm leaving them, i get back in like 5 minutes

I stopped bothering asking if anyone wants to come because my friends are more beer types and they dont like shots

[Anonymous No.11597772]

>>11597406
I'll take 40oz of your finest malt liquor

[Anonymous No.11597783]

>>11597772
Ah, a man of fine taste

[Anonymous No.11597784]

>>11597751
I don't think this is that autistic.
But then again whenever I go anywhere with my girlfriend, friends, or family I always take my own car (and make sure anyone that rides with me has room in another car) so that at any point I can leave on my own if I feel like it.
I've only ever just straight up peaced out a handful of times (out of the hundreds this has happened), but I still do it all the time.
Is... Is that autistic? I just know what I like, and don't like relying on others, or possibly be a nuisance.

[Anonymous No.11597797]

>>11597784
Better that that asking people to give you a ride or losing money on taxis

Also, if you start feeling like shit, it's always better to leave than sit there gloomy, just remember to say goodbye to everybody