/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11594468]

>look up how to make food similar to exact to how a fast food place or restaurant makes it
>YOU DON'T WANT THAT ANON YOU WANT MY RECIPE MADE OF FRESH BEEF IT'S MUCH BETTER TASTING THAN WHAT THOSE SCIENTISTS WHO WERE PAID MILLIONS TO MAKE SOMETHING TASTE SO GOOD IT'S LITERALLY ADDICTIVE MADE
How much can you huff your own farts without suffocating to death?

I'm here to let the brainlets in on the secret.
>crazy bread
Canned dough, parmesian cheese, salt, garlic powder and butter.
>whopper
You need a broiler or it won't be the same. Buy frozen patties from anywhere at all it's all the same shit.
>mcdonald's fries
Beef tallow, corn oil, and soy milk

[Anonymous No.11594480]

soy milk for fries?

[Anonymous No.11594484]

>>11594468
Preach!

[Anonymous No.11594487]

>>11594480
Yeah, McDonald's fries have a lot of weird shit in them and are actually a hassle to make if you don't have your workplace set up specifically for them.

[Anonymous No.11594504]

>>11594487
>>11594468
aren't they just dumping a frozen bag from a factory into a fryer basket then salting after? obviously there's soy filler in the mix, but soy milk?

[Anonymous No.11594509]

>>11594504
No, their fries are cut but they use a water pressure cutter to streamline it. They use specific soy milk too, but it's expensive to get comparatively since they buy it in large quantity. The same shit they use would run you about $120 for a consumer amount.

[Anonymous No.11594516]

>>11594468
Imagine actually being self righteous about liking fast food more than anything else lmao

[Anonymous No.11594866]

>>11594516
Imagine being so self righteous that someone asks you for something and instead you say "yeah here you go have this I made it and it's better than what you asked for because I think so" and they hand you a leaf

[Anonymous No.11594884]

Emulating fast food at home is a fun exercise, if only because it makes you realize how "slow" fast food is to make from scratch. I do an absolutely kickass big mac clone, but it takes a couple of hours to make a batch.

[Anonymous No.11594890]

>>11594884
A couple hours? Nigga it’s a burger with sauce and a extra piece of bun

[Anonymous No.11594891]

>>11594866
>and they hand you a leaf
You shouldn't eat Canadians anon.

[Anonymous No.11594906]

>>11594890
McDonald's has their own meat, mix, preparation, and even bun manufacturing. It's incredibly hard to reproduce a lot of fast food shit at home simply because the process of doing it in the actual restaurant has been streamlined heavily and the resources and equipment needed to do it can run you into the hundreds of dollars range just to make one certain dish. In some cases it could be thousands if your intent is perfectly replicating some trash burger from Wendy's or Burger King.

[Anonymous No.11594919]

>>11594906
Fuck out of here it’s beer bread cheese & sauce quit over exaggerating the process

[Anonymous No.11594923]

mcdonalds uses beef flavor, not beef tallow, in their fries.

[Anonymous No.11594924]

>>11594919
Beef*

[Anonymous No.11594931]

>>11594919
>>11594924
K make one exactly

[Anonymous No.11595087]

>>11594509

[Anonymous No.11595122]

>>11594516
He's right though. It's retarded to act like your amateur homemade bullshit is better than annual multi-billion dollar earning food. I hated being at friends' houses during dinner time as a kid because parents always try to feed you their disgusting home-cooked meals and then get offended when you pass on it. Fast food is comfy as fuck because you get exactly what you're expecting (the only real exception being if someone screws up your order and gives you a completely different item, though I can't even remember that happening to me once in the past ten years). Everyone takes this on demand consistency for granted when it's easily one of the most important factors in finding a good option for getting food. Even if some home-cooking somehow does turn out better than fast food (and it almost never does) it'd be much better to go with a guaranteed really good option than a total dice roll on a random nobody fucking around in a kitchen who *might* make something that isn't garbage.

[Anonymous No.11595143]

>>11595122
>defending junk food this hard
You’re American I take it?

[Anonymous No.11595145]

>>11595122
>making a burger is a dice roll for this lad
WEW

[Anonymous No.11595148]

>>11595143
>Defending
Fast food chains don't need defending, they make more than enough money to prove they're obviously doing something right. What needs defending is your bizarre idea that you as someone who isn't making a single dollar on any of your cooking somehow have a better approach.

[Anonymous No.11595150]

>>11595145
I never said I make food. Eating some amateur's food is a dice roll.

[Anonymous No.11595151]

>>11595122
Big fast food chains didn't get huge because their food was so good but because it's cheap shit dumb people eat. They know how to cut costs to the bare minimum while keeping the food somewhat edible

[Anonymous No.11595153]

>>11595148
>preparing food has to be a capitalist enterprise
You’re certainly stupid enough to be an American.

[Anonymous No.11595162]

>>11595151
It's clearly not because it's cheap since it would be even cheaper to make your own amateur meals.
>>11595153
Money is literally a measure of value e.g. you don't have much of it because you don't do anything of value.

[Anonymous No.11595280]

>>11595162
Turns out a lot of poor people are lazier than they are poor.

[Anonymous No.11595292]

>>11595162
I can get a McDonald's hamburger for literally a dollar. That's much cheaper than it is to buy groceries.

[Anonymous No.11595293]

>>11595280
Yeah, except there's also this thing called competition. Try to make your own fast food chain and tell me how far you get with fast and convenient but also shit tasting food no one wants to eat.

[Anonymous No.11595301]

>>11595122
>ven if some home-cooking somehow does turn out better than fast food (and it almost never does)
Bait

[Anonymous No.11595304]

>>11595301
I'm amazed you people are this convinced by your own bullshit. You honestly do believe your garbage cooking is better than the professionals.

[Anonymous No.11595312]

>>11595292
You can get an entire pound of rice for literally a dollar.

[Anonymous No.11595324]

>>11595312
>literally
That’s like, sooo amazing!
Wanna come round and we can watch the Kardashians together, Stacey?

[Anonymous No.11595327]

>>11595293
Send me money and I will

[Anonymous No.11595355]

>>11595304
>You honestly do believe your garbage cooking is better than the professionals.
Trying so hard.

[Anonymous No.11595356]

>>11595324
Why are you quoting me you retard? I just reformulated that anon's wording with rice in place of big macs. Don't post here anymore, you're stupid.

[Anonymous No.11595363]

>>11595355
Why don't you try to make a legitimate argument? You can't because your claim is ridiculous and you're not making home-cooked meals anywhere close to as good as flagship best-seller multi-billion dollar revenue earning restaurant menu items.

[Anonymous No.11595394]

>>11594468
really all you need is the beef fat for mcdonalds fry taste. and its interesting because thats the original recipe for pomme frites.

who knew mcdonalds was based turn of the century french cooking

[Anonymous No.11595940]

mcdo's fries are disgusting. you've just been meme'd since childhood by awful parents and now you're stuck with that shit taste. hope you're proud

[Anonymous No.11595964]

>>11595940
>citation needed

[Anonymous No.11596119]

>>11595940
don't make me anal vore you while party rockers plays, kid

[Anonymous No.11596157]

>>11595363
don't get me wrong, there are tons of retards out there who can't cook worth a fuck.

But it takes very little skill and effort to do a far better job than most restaurants, simply because you're not bound by the same limitations they are. The mere fact that a home cook can cook a burger to-order rather than having one that's been sitting out under heatlamps is enough to make that clear.

[Anonymous No.11596209]

>>11596157
Why do diner cooks get paid less then

[Anonymous No.11596217]

>>11596209
I have no idea what you are trying to ask me. Why do diner cooks get paid less than restaurant cooks? I have no idea how that is relevant to my post.

[Anonymous No.11596221]

>>11594468
>parmesian

[Anonymous No.11596400]

>>11596209
Because they're generally mom & pops who hire ex-felons who can't get employment anywhere else and will work as slaves for room and board.

[Anonymous No.11598035]

>>11594468
I hate to agree but you're right. People here always harp on about homemade, but Iv'e had dozens of hamburgers from home cooks across the country and none even match what you'd get at a fast food place or restaurant with the proper equipment.

[Anonymous No.11598158]

>I hated being at friends' houses during dinner time as a kid because parents always try to feed you their disgusting home-cooked meals and then get offended when you pass on it.
Yikes, you just went full american. Never go full american.

[Anonymous No.11600006]

Fast food destroys homemade every time

Also, intelligence is genetic and linked to income and perfectly explains class structure in capitalistic societies.

[Anonymous No.11600249]

>>11600006
>Fast food destroys homemade every time
This. I think the people who believe homemade is better are basically Stockholm syndrome victims who learned to like the horrible non-franchise food stuffed down their throats as a kid because they weren't given any other options.

[Anonymous No.11600266]

>>11594468
>wanting to make an exact duplicate of fat, salt, and sugar-laden shitfood slopped together by an uncaring teen or deadbeat

[Anonymous No.11600290]

>>11600266
Dishonest description. The teens and deadbeats are just automatons following simple and highly choreographed motions. The people who *designed* the successful franchise models and the menu items are completely different from the tools who carry out their design.

[Anonymous No.11600302]

>>11594516
>American
>Mcdonalds Beef Tallow french fries that hasn't been used since before you were born
Fuckin retard.

[Anonymous No.11600318]

>>11600290
I can't tell if you're ignorant or delusional. The people who designed the items know you can throw enough chemicals at the worst and cheapest food and it'll still be palatable while triggering our sweet spots. Get a bone in your burger? Whoops, the grinder must have missed that one. Mechanically separated meat, pink nugget glue, sugary french fries, whatever the fuck is in a McRib, the list goes on and on. And the "automatons" will wipe their nose and then put your burger together, drop it on the floor and laugh and then serve it up to you, pile on way too much of something or not enough of another...

Arguing that something is the best simply because it rewards our bodies' pleasure centers is dumb as hell.

[Anonymous No.11600323]

>>11600266
>fat and salt and sugar are bad
SnearingFrenchChef.jpg

[Anonymous No.11600325]

>>11600318
>Get a bone in your burger? Whoops, the grinder must have missed that one.
How many times have you gotten a bone in a fast food burger? And what god forsaken part of subsaharan africa are you posting from?

[Anonymous No.11600381]

>>11594468
Fast food is engineered to appeal to the lowest common denominator palate, be assembled easily and rapidly by literal downies, and be extremely cheap. All 3 by definition mean inferior products to what a competent homecook can produce. But by all means, keep licking megacorporate boots, that way american food production will certainly improve, lol.

[Anonymous No.11600390]

>>11600381
>lowest common denominator palate
>durr popular means bad
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisdom_of_the_crowd

[Anonymous No.11600483]

>>11600390
Popular on its own doesn't, but when looking at the root causes of popularity there are plenty of things that are bad. In the case of fast food? Absolutely. The taste can be okay, but it's too greasy and salty, and is absolutely far less healthy than making your own. The ubiquity, ease of acquisition, and price are all reasons people make the decision to get it, lending to its popularity despite all the negative garbage that comes with it.

So feel free to scrounge up another wiki link but that doesn't make you any less wrong.

[Anonymous No.11600520]

>>11594468
I know the fucking feeling. This is basically true with all Chik-Fil-A recipes as well as Popeyes

[Anonymous No.11600523]

>be American
>defend fast foods to death on anime imageboard

This shit is not only pinnacle of humour and obscure comedy but also you can see what average American thinks about their "cuisine".

[Anonymous No.11601074]

>>11595143
>can't consistently enjoy consistency

[Anonymous No.11601080]

>>11594919
>>11594924
OUT FUCKING SKILLED
>>11594931
anon you didn't have to do it to em they probably some fat fujioshi roastie who thinks adding pepper to beef and putting it on a stove is a burger

[Anonymous No.11601094]

>>11596119
gettem

[Anonymous No.11601114]

>>11600483
>not healthy
Not the topic.

[Anonymous No.11601128]

>>11601080
Patty melts are better than cheeseburgers, what you've done is post a picture of a superior product that was also made for a fraction of the cost if the swill served from national chains.

You played yourself playa Eddie Murphy was right all along.

[Anonymous No.11601158]

>>11601114
>get outplayed
>move the goalpost
Ahh, that old game. I'll pass, thanks for being a sore loser.

[Anonymous No.11601168]

>>11601158
You're the one who moved the goalposts you retard. Nobody was arguing fast food is healthy, stick to the topic.

[Anonymous No.11601243]

Fucking hell i didn't know Iron Chef Chris-chan posted on /ck/.

Lol what a fucking fatty sperg.

[Anonymous No.11601249]

>>11594468
This has got to be the dumbest thread of the year. To think you're probably not even paid for this. The girls, they are laffin.

[Anonymous No.11601321]

>>11595122
I actually admire this shill.

[Anonymous No.11602662]

>>11594468
who holds a gun like that?

[Anonymous No.11602820]

>I didn't have butter so I substituted vegetable oil
>I didn't have bread flour so I used cake flour
>I was out of yeast so I used baking soda
>I'm not a big fan of cinnamon so I just put more sugar instead
>It didn't taste like ________'s but it was delicious thanks for the recipe :^)

Why do people look up recipes and not follow them? And why do they then comment on the recipe that they didn't follow?

[Anonymous No.11602858]

>>11594468
This is because they know it's physically impossible to make a Big Mac at home taste exactly like it does at the restaurant so they pretend they made it "better" with their homemade ingredients to get youtube hits.

[Anonymous No.11602872]

>>11600006
>intelligence is genetic and linked to income and perfectly explains class structure in capitalistic societies
I can't tell if you're making an argument for or against class structure.

[Anonymous No.11602875]

Why the actual fuck would you ever want to make a whopper, much less buy one?

[Anonymous No.11602879]

>>11602858
Big mac sauce is super easy to replicate at home.
It may not be 100% the same but it's close enough and means you don't have to eat a big mac, you can put it on an actual burger that isn't 85% bread

[Anonymous No.11603160]

>>11595940
>mcdo
gtfo france

[Anonymous No.11603867]

>>11595394
*Belgian

[Anonymous No.11604081]

>>11595122

[Anonymous No.11604086]

>>11595122
if this isn't bait, you really have some babby tier tastebuds, anon

[Anonymous No.11605191]

>>11600318
At the end of the day the most important factor to food is taste followed by nutrition. You're making fast food seem way more evil than it actually is. Like everything that tastes good, eat in moderation. Home made food might be more nutritious but it'll never taste as good as the way they scientifically optimize food for retail use unless you attempt to unhealthily replicate the process yourself to some degree. Yes anon we all know butter, salt and fat is bad for you in excess. But we also know its required to make many foods taste good or better.

The problem is of course the people preparing it can make mistakes, though so can you. Its cheaper in the long run to eat out solo because of the cost to replicate the process yourself.

[Anonymous No.11605206]

>>11594906
A&W literally buys the same buns you get at the grocery store lol

[Anonymous No.11605213]

>>11595122
>I hated being at friends' houses during dinner time as a kid because parents always try to feed you their disgusting home-cooked meals
this is either 100% autism concentrate or master bait

[Anonymous No.11605219]

>>11605191
^This, and also with making mistakes that's a lot of the appeal for fast food franchises. They designed a system that makes producing consistent copies of the same food item you're expecting in a way that takes all the guess work out and is almost foolproof regardless of how retarded the people working at fast food restaurants may be. I never understood why everyone takes this benefit for granted so much, it's pretty huge accomplishment that they can magically supply you with a near exact replica of a series of abstract menu items on demand with effectively unlimited quantity and even 24/7 availability (and delivery through phone apps too now). Compared to some non-franchise mom and pop restaurant where each time you eat is a wildly different quality experience made by real people doing things their own subjective and unpredictable ways completely unguided by consistent corporate standards.

[Anonymous No.11605223]

>>11595122

Fast food is designed to hit certain buttons in your brain, even if you can't even taste that they're being hit. That's why savory fast food is absolutely packed with sugar. They're tricking your brain into getting addicted to it.

Has nothing to do with tasting good.

[Anonymous No.11605226]

>>11605191
Also
Make a mistake in the kitchen: Well I fucked up and the meal is ruined/worse
Restaurant staff make a mistake: Send it back and get it fixed for no extra cost

[Anonymous No.11605230]

>>11595356
You're the stupid one faggot. You have to go back

[Anonymous No.11605232]

>>11605223
Are you saying my experiences arent real anon? The stuff I think taste good secretly doesnt taste good and they're casting some magic spell on me? Listen to yourself. It doesn't matter if its 'genetically modified to make you feel good.' Thats what taste IS.

[Anonymous No.11605233]

>>11605213
It's not uncommon at all for kids to be grossed out by home-cooked meals at friends' houses. It makes perfect sense because the parents are doing something completely unknown that the kid has no point of reference for, often with strong flavors and smells the family has gotten used to but the kid is getting hammered over the head with for the first time. That's especially an issue for autistic kids, but normal kids have that problem too. Kids of any sort tend to be more sensitive to tastes and smells since you get used to them as you get older and learn to tune them out more.

[Anonymous No.11605237]

>>11605230
It's not that hard to respond to the right post. Stop posting here.

[Anonymous No.11605238]

>>11605191
>>11605219

You guys are really afraid of cooking, huh?

Take my advice, as someone who used to eat way too much fast food: you crave that shit because you eat it all the time, and that's what your body and your gut bacteria think food is. That's why I'd bet that vegetables are super unsatisfying to you: they're not "food." Try taking a break from fast food and cooking for a week or two. Make something big on Sunday, like a tasty savory stew or chili, and then spend the rest of the week cooking, eating your leftover Sunday meal whenever you simply can't muster the energy or when your night's meal has gone wrong.

It will totally change how you experience home-cooked food.

Also, I have gotten a fucked up McDonald, Taco Bell, Wendy's etc order way more often than someone has messed something up on a dish at a real restaurant. Not just in giving me the wrong or missing things, either. Stale, hard or over-toasted buns, over or under-seasoned fries, you name it.

[Anonymous No.11605239]

>>11605223
>Fast food doesn't taste good it just tricks your brain into tasting good
???
That's what all good tasting food does. Just because it isn't healthy doesn't mean it's more of a "trick" than when you enjoy a grape. Both are "hitting buttons in your brain."

[Anonymous No.11605248]

>>11605238
>That's why I'd bet that vegetables are super unsatisfying to you: they're not "food."
Vegetables mostly aren't food if you aren't a farm animal, human enzymatic digestion leaves cellulose completely untouched.

[Anonymous No.11605249]

>>11605238
Why do you guys always pull this shit? "Arachnophobia? I bet you secretly wanna fuck spiders haha" No im not 'afraid' of cooking you fucking retard. I consider it a waste of time when I can pay someone else with my excess money to cook for me and then spend my time doing something I enjoy more. I enjoy home cooked food when I get it but I don't personally like cooking much at all. Also eating leftovers is just cringe for poor people. If someone fucks up your order its on you to tell them and have it fixed.

[Anonymous No.11605254]

>>11605238
>You guys are really afraid of cooking, huh?
>It's the old "not liking gays is homophobic" trick
Nah.

[Anonymous No.11605259]

>>11605232

The taste is super underwhelming if you've eaten real, high-quality food.

I live in Chicago. A burger at Au Cheval, Forbidden Root, BopnGrill, or Dryhop/Corridor annihilates almost any fast food burger any day of the week, because there's more going on in them in the cook, seasoning, and topping categories. You like fast food because you have kind of a basic palate, dude, and seem to be kind of afraid of or uninterested in food in general. They give you salty, fatty, and sweet, and that's just what you think good flavor is.

Never mind the difference between a well-seared patty and the grey, salty, soggy puck they give you at McDonald's. Or between a buttery, well-toasted bun and the flavorless sponges on either side of a Wendy's burger. You're not on the level where you can understand that there are different kinds of sweet, salty, and fatty. Never mind everything else on the burger.

[Anonymous No.11605260]

>>11605254
>>11605249
No anon. If you dislike something it means you're terrified and intimidated by its power and coolness. It couldn't possibly be that you just don't like the thing and think its silly, wasteful or boring.

[Anonymous No.11605265]

>>11605259
>If you like something I don't like then your 'taste receptors' are just broken

There it is. Part two of the silliest argument series.

[Anonymous No.11605269]

>>11605249

Not liking cooking is like not liking exercise or positive interactions with people based on things you have in common. It's a character deficiency disguised as a quirk. Humans have been cooking and loving to cook as long as we've been alive. It's only recently that degenerates are claiming factory-produced "food" is better.

You don't like food if you don't like seeing it made and taking part in making it.

[Anonymous No.11605271]

>>11605259
Well no shit guy. Restaurant quality food is going to be better. This isn't just about fast food but eating out in general. Restaurants have access to tools, ingredients and technique that the average home cook will never have. Thats the point of this whole thread.

[Anonymous No.11605285]

>>11605239
>>11605265

There's a difference between SALT GOOD and "I like how this is seasoned." Fast food is just flat salty because that's all it economically has to be to lure in man-children like you. If you can't understand that something can be tasty salty in different ways, you just don't get food.

Ponder this: is a McDonald's chicken tender really the best fried chicken you can get? Of course not. Actual fried chicken is way better, way better even than KFC. But McD's tendies work because they're salty crunchy meat sticks you slather with sugar sauce. Sure, they're good, but they're not really fried chicken.

[Anonymous No.11605287]

>>11605269
>Humans have been cooking and loving to cook as long as we've been alive.
No they fucking haven't. Even just intentional use of fire by anatomically modern humans only has hard evidence dating back 125,000 years ago. And that's assuming from day 1 of creating fire they were using it to cook, which is almost certainly not true either.

[Anonymous No.11605288]

>>11605269
Nobody is arguing that being able to cook isn't something worth bragging about on a date or something. Its just that many people today don't really care if you can cook or not. Comparing 'not being able to cook' well to someone being ugly or antisocial is just silly. Its way lower priority on the scale of what people can offer to others. And that last line just ruined your whole argument. Food is a product. Imagine someone saying "Man I sure like having vacuum cleaners." and your friend says "NU UH NO YOU DONT HAVE YOU EVER MADE ONE??"

[Anonymous No.11605293]

>>11605285
>There's a difference between SALT GOOD and "I like how this is seasoned."
Try putting your sloppy and vague idea into big people words and using evidence to support it.

[Anonymous No.11605294]

>>11605285
Nobody is arguing that Mcdonalds chicken tenders are better. But I guarantee you that homemade tenders will never beat most average restaurant tenders.

[Anonymous No.11605295]

>>11605271

>Restaurants have access to tools, ingredients and technique that the average home cook will never have.

Like what? I would love for the folks who think fast food is the best thing ever in this thread to tell me what a real (like with cooks and a chef) restaurant can do that you guys think can't be done at home. I want to know what kind of fucking rocket science you think cooking is like.

[Anonymous No.11605298]

>>11605287

Ok sure dude we ate only raw meat but also evolved to not be able to eat raw meat in large quantities without dying. Makes sense.

[Anonymous No.11605300]

>>11605288

Americans have probably the worst eating culture in the world and 99% of that is because we think cooking is scary so we eat garbage instead and get fat.

[Anonymous No.11605302]

>>11605298
>>11605269
For most of human history humans cooked to survive, not because they enjoyed the process.

[Anonymous No.11605306]

>>11605300
Yeah. Keep blaming the food for your inability to stop shoveling it in even when you know the exact calorie counts.

[Anonymous No.11605307]

>>11605294

Not on your first try, sure. But it's brine, dredge, coat, fry. Not rocket science, and everything beyond that is adjusting seasoning and cooking temp.

You guys just need to put some effort into it.

[Anonymous No.11605309]

>>11605306
Fast food is literally designed to be addictive as drugs to your brain. Thats the 'secret process' you all keep talking about.

[Anonymous No.11605312]

>>11605298
Your sentence here isn't even coherent. What's your problem? Obviously anatomically modern humans weren't cooking for as long as they've been alive. I'm not sure how you could possibly think otherwise. Not even all indigenous people around today cook, and essentially every other animal in existence hasn't cooked, so I have no idea why you would take this as some assumed inherent feature of human behavior that never had a historical starting point.

[Anonymous No.11605315]

>>11605307
Oil that is used in commercial fryers taste better due to repeated use. Cant be replicated at home.

[Anonymous No.11605319]

The final cookpill is recognizing that the restaurant industry has access to secret ingredients not available to the public we dont even know exist.

[Anonymous No.11605327]

>>11605233
this is irish stew tier autism

[Anonymous No.11605329]

>>11605315

First of all, no. You clearly have not cleaned fryers before. Yeah it's used a few times, but that's not what's contributing largely to the flavor. And fry-heavy places have the cleanest oil.

Also, even if it was true, then fine. Fucking re-use your oil. Amazing.

[Anonymous No.11605330]

>>11605329
>He doesnt know they have special secret oil not available to the public

[Anonymous No.11605334]

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

[Anonymous No.11605335]

>>11605319
>>11605330

You joke, but this is basically what we're getting down to with the fast food babies in this thread. They simply can't comprehend that you could fry your own chicken.

[Anonymous No.11605336]

>>11605334

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

[Anonymous No.11605340]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goeKbs3v2WU

I aint shilling, but if you wanna know how to replicate fried stuff like restaurants do or better you have to put in the effort like this. I started watching all his videos on fried shit to get the batter down for each type.

[Anonymous No.11605352]

>>11605340
Looks like a ton of work when I can drive 5 minutes and get the same high quality food at Long John Silvers.

[Anonymous No.11605981]

>>11605327
Have you seriously never heard of kids being picky eaters and not wanting to eat random homemade meals at other houses before?

[Anonymous No.11605999]

>>11605295
Tandoori

[Anonymous No.11606403]

>>11605295
Disregarding fast food because that's just downies reheating frozen food, until you get to the level of Michelin starred restaurants, the only difference between a homecook and restaurant cooks is speed of prep. Given the internet we have access to the finest ingredients in the world and with rigorous research and experimentation homecooks can produce superior dishes to the vast majority of restaurants. Eat your hearts out line cooks!

[Anonymous No.11607145]

>>11605223
>it doesn't taste good it just tells your brain it tastes good
oh ok, as apposed to my brain telling me homecooked meals are better