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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11542037 No.11542037 [Reply] [Original]

>Let's grind up some seeds from this random weed plant, mix it with water and let it sit outside for 2 days then cook it.


Derp-doop

>> No.11542065

>so we took these grains and put it into some water for a while
>we mixed in this kind of bitter and foul plant into
>then we let it sit around for a while and it looks even worse and tastes even worse
>then we drink it, it tastes foul too but at least it makes me more willing to do something!

How people figure out to make alcoholic drinks is beyond me.

>> No.11542071

>>11542065
More than likely by accident. Honeycomb fermenting in a rotten log or rotten fermenting fruit in still water. Something like that. They probably got sick as shit but kept at it

>> No.11542078

>>11542037
Cheese and tofu and wine are basically happy accidents (abominations)
it’s a miracle we figured this shit out before starving to death

>> No.11542098

>find wild edible weed, make shitty porridge with seed
>grind seed down into chunky flour so they cook faster
>take flour on long trip, have camp fire but no pot
>mix flour with some water so they stick into a ball then throw it into ember
>actually not bad, do this at home with a flat pan, then with the oven
Talking out of my ass here.

>> No.11542105

I honestly love and find really fascinating eveey culture's takes and how they all figured our something unique to do with all these basic grains and shit, and how they also managed to find some way to find something to get drunk on

>> No.11542124

bread in ancient history
>mix whatever ground cereal you have with whatever liquid's on hand
>lay it on a piece of metal with a fire under it or put it on a hot rock
>enjoy god-tier loaves that sustain the entire family

bread now
>HERE TAKE THIS INDUSTRIALLY FARMED YEAST AND MILLED FLOUR
>YOU MUST REACH 73.22% HYDRATION AND KNEAD WITH THIS TECHNIQUE FOR THIS EXACT AMOUNT OF TIME
>YOU MUST USE A DIGITAL SCALE TO MEASURE EVERY INGREDIENT
>PROOF FOR THIS EXACT AMOUNT OF TIME
>KNEAD AGAIN
>CHILL
>PROOF FOR THIS EXACT AMOUNT OF TIME
>STEAM YOUR OVEN
>BAKE AT THIS EXACT TEMPERATURE FOR THIS EXACT AMOUNT OF TIME
>PUT IN A LOT OF SALT BUT NOT TOO MUCH SALT
>SLATHER IT IN OIL BUT NOT TOO MUCH OIL
>SPRITZ IT WITH WATER BUT NOT TOO MUCH WATER
>MMMM SORRY SWEETIE YOU ACCIDENTALLY OVERWORKED YOUR DOUGH BY THREE SECONDS AND YOUR GLUTEN STRANDS ARE TIRED, HERE'S YOUR FLAT SHITTY HOCKEY PUCK

>> No.11542129

>>11542105
I'm sure the idea of taking something and reliably recreating an alcoholic drink from it was figured out by one guy on accident and was then spread far and wide. As people learned of this "feel better for a little while" drink.

People and information got around the world a lot better than we give it credit for. The only real divide was the Americas and Australia and even then people figured out how to at least get there.

>> No.11542141

>>11542124
>bread in ancient history
god-tier
>bread now
I AM VERY SILLY

>> No.11542162

>>11542098
More like "make shitty porridge with SNEED!
Am I right?

>> No.11542167

>>11542065
Fruit that falls onto the ground starts fermenting, taa daa you now have alcohol.

>> No.11542180

>>11542124
maybe bread sucked ass then and was horribly inconsistent but people had lower standards

>> No.11542220

>>11542124
This is very relatable to me after spending months trying to make an open crumb loaf with einkorn wheat, it's fucking impossible but easy as fuck with modern hybrid wheats designed to be loaded with glutens. It's pretty obvious to me though that ancient breads were all just the consistency of dry cakes and rustic open crumbs are a relatively new thing.

>> No.11542224

>>11542124
bread in ancient history
>mix your paltry harvest with whatever unknown weeds were in the grain
>have ergot infection on your rye
>cook it over the unventilated fire slowly killing you from PAHs
>enjoy hallucinations, cyanide poisoning, tansy poisoning, and ergot making your arms fall off while you trip
>it happens to your entire family too
>even when you don't die your beta bitch grind mill leaves tons of small bits of cracked cereal grain in the bread meaning you are guaranteed to wear down your teeth to nothing when you eat it (medieval peasants are well known for having teeth so worn down they could only eat porridges and various stews due to the sensitivity of exposed root)
>bread now
>it doesn't kill you or wear down your teeth
>but because it has MUH INDSUTRY it bad everything man do BAD BAD BAD

bet you hate vaccines too

>> No.11542231
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11542231

>>11542141

>> No.11542237

>>11542231
hell yea

>> No.11542248

>>11542037
More intelligent than anything you've ever done

>> No.11542251

>>11542167
This. You can watch monkeys and elephants get so drunk on rotting fruit they fall over.

>> No.11542258

>>11542065
Mead was probably the first booze, since if a hive of bees gets waterlogged it can turn into mead by itself.

>> No.11542261

>>11542105
There's a theory among anthropologists that booze was what motivated the agricultural revolution. It makes sense to me, why else would you give up a comfy lifestyle of wandering around with your family and spending maybe eight hours a week hunting and picking berries?

>> No.11542274

>>11542261
Not that it's entirely gone away obviously, but violence with other tribes and fighting over food resources isn't very comfy and would've been common

>> No.11542275

>>11542071
I wish the universe has a leaderboard so we could admire the 100s of individuals who died in the pursuit of perfecting alcohol.

>> No.11542303

/his/ here

this >>11542098

Also large quantities of grain in storage containers would collect moisture at the bottom, likely someone hungry tried the fermented mess at the bottom and discovered it wasn't that bad and attempted to replicate the process.

It may not have happened exactly like this, but with 10000s of people preparing food daily for generations there were plenty of ways these things could be discovered.

>> No.11542320

>hmm these seeds taste good
>some time passes
>hmm, these seeds taste better when I roast them
>more time passes
>these seeds can be grinded with stones and mixed with water
>more time passes
>what happens if i put the seed mush onto a frickin hot stone? unleavened bread discovered
>more time passes
>oops, i forgot my seed mush that i wanted to turn into unleavened bread. some days passed and it looks kinda bubbly. whatever, just add some more ground seeds and bake anyway. leavened bread invented

Invention and discovery happens gradually. People thousands of years ago were not dumber than today and could figure out these kinds of things.

>> No.11542334

>>11542258
This, I had thought that mead was established as being drunk before beer. And mead is just fucking delicious

>> No.11542739

>>11542098
Definitely would have been fruit to begin. Primates have been eating fermented fruit longer than humans have existed.

>> No.11542743

>>11542261
Because bread is filling, hunting is hard, and berries are a gamble, and constantly moving to find these two things uses energy.
Simplest explanation is usually the actual one.

>> No.11542756

>>11542743
>Simplest explanation is usually the actual one.

Screamed the brainlet

>> No.11542762

>>11542065
>it tastes foul
Found the fag

>> No.11542782

>>11542303
>/his/ here

Do you actually consider yourself some sort of authority?

Lmao

>> No.11542787

>>11542782
>reddit spacing
>Lmao
You don’t belong here faggot.
Go back.

>> No.11542792

>>11542756
Occam's razor, you projecting brainlet.

>> No.11542796

>>11542787
Cringe

>> No.11542814

>>11542796
Based and shitpost pilled

>> No.11542978

>>11542124
Can you put this in an infographic or rage comic please