Disappointing Meals

[Anonymous No.11498774]

>sit down for thanksgiving meal
>mom brings out the turkey
>start carving and piling it on my plate
>take a bite
>it's drier than the sierra desert
>mfw

[Anonymous No.11498793]

>>11498774
Turkey is pretty shit, but I grew up thinking it was literally inedible garbage because of Thanksgiving meals. Turns out boomers simply can't cook.

[Anonymous No.11498799]

>>11498774
tell your mom about brining, the whole family will thank you for it.

[Anonymous No.11498802]

>>11498774
>read alton's thanksgiving turkey recipe
>500 for half an hour, then 350 until it comes to temp
>ask my mom what she thinks
>"your grandmother used to do it that way, it would take all day to cook and it was the driest turkey I've ever had"
>hmm
>follow the directions anyway
>it's the best turkey i've ever had
>always remember my mom's turkeys being dry as shit too
but then again I also actually use a fucking thermometer and don't get dickered to fuck and let the turkey overcook for a couple hours

[Anonymous No.11498807]

>>11498774
My feels when I stopped by to see you and you weren't home...... but your mom was

[Anonymous No.11498815]

>>11498774
just put gravy on it

[Anonymous No.11498828]

Why does everyone says turkey is shit? It makes for really good cold cuts..

[Anonymous No.11498909]

>it's from a catfag's home

[Anonymous No.11498915]

>drink
>pass out
>wake up
>eat torky

[Anonymous No.11498948]

>>11498909
this

[Anonymous No.11498980]

Maybe this thread would be a good place to unveil my design for an automatic baster.

[Anonymous No.11498998]

>>11498980
baste 'er? i hardly know 'er!

[Anonymous No.11499007]

>>11498774
>Sierra desert
Imagine all those lizards, snakes, camels, and buzzards. How must they have felt when we tested the A-bomb there

[Anonymous No.11499024]

Every year, it's every ducking year everybody talks about how ducking dry my mom's turkey, or the turkey from wherever. At this point I have a taste for dry food, an I am get ducking sick of them complaining. For me the taste is paramount, and dryness is simply a fault by context. Look all I am drying to say is that it is only problem if you don't like dry meat, or food. That is just my two cents.

[Anonymous No.11499040]

y'all niggas don't put cranberry sauce on your turkey? or gravy?

[Anonymous No.11499191]

>>11499024
>duck
>turkey
What is it, anon?

[Anonymous No.11499200]

>>11498998
thanks

[Anonymous No.11499208]

>>11499191
pig

[Anonymous No.11499314]

>>11499191
He's bird brained or sure.

[Anonymous No.11500146]

It's impossible to fuck turkey up what the fuck is your problem?
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/this-year-roast-the-turkey-while-you-sleep

[Anonymous No.11500890]

>>11498774
So chop up all that dry turkey and put it into a pot pie or a soup.

[Anonymous No.11500931]

>>11498774
Eating dry turkey almost makes me wish for a nuclear winter

[Anonymous No.11500935]

>>11498774

Slather on the butter.

Then get her a Probe meat thermometer with an Alarm and cook the turkey to 165f

[Anonymous No.11500954]

Do I need to teach you Americans how to cook turkey?

Slather it in salt, a BIT of pepper, cut many onions, many cloves of garlic and some carrots into small pieces, with whatever shapes.you prefer.. Put everything together on a big container, then fill it up with cheap champagne (sparkling wine, doesn't need to be french, obviously). Let it sit like that for one day. Afterwards, you cook it in the oven at 220 degrees Celsius with some of the Champagne in the tray, then check periodically the skin to see if it's cooked. There are no shortcuts with counting time, it's too highly dependent on the size of the bird, you need to stay vigilant in the kitchen, lazy faggots.

Perfect moist yurkey guaranteed.

[Anonymous No.11500971]

>what is gravy
Grow a brain morans jfc

[Anonymous No.11501480]

>>11499007
what the fuck is this post

[Anonymous No.11501624]

>>11498774
>Dads family is all cooks, bartenders, bakers, 2 own their own restaurant
>Thanksgiving with them is moist turkey and perfect sides, dessert is 8 pies and oreo cakes with drinking until 2 am
>Mom remarrries into some assholes wasps nest
>Turkey was a "set it and forget it" deal that tasted and felt like sawdust, sides were dry pulled pork and tater tots with kraft singles and bacon bits, dessert is store bought pumpkin pie and we are driving back home by 6 pm
Guess which side doesnt do holidays anymore

[Anonymous No.11502351]

>>11498774
>dry turkey
I don't know why this is a meme, store-bought turkey is so goddamned easy to cook, even my mother in law can do a good job. Even the artisanal, local, organic, adjective, adjective, pompous bullshit turkeys aren't that hard.

[Anonymous No.11502365]

>>11500954
I'm gay btw, not sure if that matters

[Anonymous No.11502384]

>>11502365
Oh, yes. It matters.

[Anonymous No.11502447]

Just go to a Wawa and get the Turkey Gobbler hoagie and save yourselves the hassle and disappointment.

[Anonymous No.11503364]

>>11498774
>not doing the Gordon Ramsay meme where you lift the skin and insert a ton of butter

[Anonymous No.11503399]

>>11502447
>mfw place near me does a christmas dinner calzone
and I thought the greggs festive bake was something

[Anonymous No.11503406]

>>11498774
my family usually does an unconventional thanksgiving dinner. this year, it's fajitas

[Anonymous No.11503411]

>>11502365
You told us you were a fag the first time. If you can't make good, moist turkey without having it contract the gAIDS, gtfo the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.11503430]

>>11503399
What is in it?

[Anonymous No.11503457]

Heres a tip I learned from my roommate. Fuck stuffing. He stuffed our turkey with a combination of onions, carrots and lemons. He said the aroma would leave a nice flavor. That, with the addition of brining the turkey the entire time created the juiciest, most flavorful turkey i had ever eaten. We still had stuffing it was just cooked on the stove top.

[Anonymous No.11503460]

>>11503457
>roommate
Hmm..

[Anonymous No.11503474]

>>11503460
You got something to say, chickenshit?

[Anonymous No.11503481]

>>11503474
Yeah I do. Want to hear it?

[Anonymous No.11503492]

>>11503481
Fuck off, projecting shitheel. You had your chance the first time. I'd knock your bitch ass out IRL.

[Anonymous No.11503498]

>>11503492
I was going to say have a good day.

[Anonymous No.11503520]

>>11499040
The sauces aren't meant to compensate for turkey that's almost jerky.

[Anonymous No.11503530]

>>11503460
Yah got me it was all an allegory for gay sex. I WAS THE TURKEY

[Anonymous No.11503540]

>>11502351
Store bought Turkeys often have those pop up thermometers that actively direct people to cook their turkey to the wrong temperature.

[Anonymous No.11503541]

>be me
>new to cooking
>chop up entire bulb of garlic, burn it in the pan
>attempt to salvage it by making it garlic butter
>butter also burns up
>add vegetables, which get covered in burnt garlic
>add a shitton of paprika and cumin in further attempt to salvage
>stir the whole mess into rice
>girlfriend looks me dead in the eye and asks "what the fuck is this garbage are you retarded"

this was half an hour ago

[Anonymous No.11503707]

>>11503541
Don't get discouraged. And never be afraid to toss what's in the pan and start over. Always add garlic last - it takes like 3 mins to cook and if you burn it there will be bitter hell to pay. Btw, I like to add my seasonings directly to the rice water before the rice.

[Anonymous No.11503755]

>buy pasta roni, chicken thigh, frozen veg
>fucking starving. just want to make a quick easy meal.
>get home and gf insists she makes it cause her moms in the kitchen. Shes a good cook so I say okay
>she brings me the food and all of it is cold
>the cream sauce on the noodles is broken
>the chickens ok just cold.
>veggies are nearly frozen

What the fuck happened?

[Anonymous No.11503780]

>>11503707
this

>>11503541
maybe look into simple recipes to start off with, but it's good that you're trying. keep at it anon!

[Anonymous No.11503792]

>>11499024
Basted and BREADfilled duck-poster

[Anonymous No.11504445]

>>11498998
>>11498980

[Anonymous No.11504484]

>>11498774
I just got the 10 piece chicken nugget meal at BK an hour ago. All I wanted was two bbq sauce dippers. They were out. I had to settle for honey mustard which was merely OK. Meal kinda sorta ruined.
>>11504445
very humorous anon

[Anonymous No.11504535]

>>11498774
Buy a Butterball and cook it in an oven bag. Use an oven thermometer to check for temp.