/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11493606]

>You're such a good cook! Your husband must be a very lucky man.

[Anonymous No.11493615]

>>11493606
>you are a fatty, your wife must be a good cook

[Anonymous No.11493633]

>>11493615
How did she do it? How do you get a guy addicted to your cooking and too fat to leave you? Please, your wife accomplished my life goal. I need to know.

[Anonymous No.11493651]

>your wife is such a good cook, I bet you come home from work to a delicious homemade dinner every day

She has a job too

[Anonymous No.11493659]

>>11493606
get off 4channel, go anywhere and express intrest in being accepted

[Anonymous No.11493680]

Tfw cook delicious dinner with sides and appetizer, knock it out of the park, invent delicious sauce to accompany it, cook the meat perfect... and eat it all by myself

[Anonymous No.11493714]

>"man, your wife needs to learn how to cook"
>she already cooks really well
>just not for me, only for trayvon
>because I spend all my good husband points on being able to sleep in the same bed as her weekly.

[Anonymous No.11493729]

>>11493714
I know you may be joking, or maybe you are really into this stuff. This kind of fetish is very bad to hold, it is forced and does serious damage towards yourself. I hope one day you come to realize this.

[Anonymous No.11493745]

>>11493729
No fetish is good. They all take a singular aspect of sexual experience and distort it beyond anything good. Modern peolle are deeply troubled by them because they have been taught:

1.theres nothing wrong with it as long as everyone consents ;) jerking off 5 times a day in the privacy of your home is fine ;)

2. If you have the fetish that means its an essential part of you that you have to let put into the open so it can flourish ;) if you try and repress any sexual desire you arent being true to yourself and you will cause some kind of psychological trauma ;) people are born gay or predisposed to being cucks ;)

[Anonymous No.11493752]

Marriage fantasy is cancer.

[Anonymous No.11493772]

>>11493606

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

[Anonymous No.11493787]

>>11493606
Fuck off you stupid roastie piece of shit

[Anonymous No.11493827]

>>11493606

>you're going to make a lucky woman very happy one day

;_;

[Anonymous No.11493898]

>>11493745
True, suppression of fetishes manifests in any number of psycopathic thoughts and behaviors. Thus, an explanation of /pol/ and their obsessive homophobia and fixation on BBC.

[Anonymous No.11493906]

>>11493898
>projecting your own degeneracy onto another group simply to justify your own degeneracy

What a sad, disgusting life you must lead.

[Anonymous No.11493922]

>>11493906
What's degeneracy?

[Anonymous No.11493930]

>>11493922
Anything I don't like

[Anonymous No.11493957]

>>11493898
Yikes dude

[Anonymous No.11493975]

DONUTS IN THE BREAK ROOM!

[Anonymous No.11494153]

>>11493606
Tits or GTFO nigger

[Anonymous No.11494161]

>>11493752
fuck off retard it's the only acceptable sexual fantasy besides sex for the sole purpose of procreation

[Anonymous No.11494171]

>>11493651
based asshole

[Anonymous No.11494178]

You'll be a heartbreaker some day

[Anonymous No.11494187]

>whoever's with you is the luckiest girl around
>"a-akshully I'm single"
>what?! No way, how come?
because everything I do isn't good enough and anyone that loves me is either clueless to who I am or loves someone that is so garbage that I wouldn't want to associate with them anyways.
anyone that truly loves me is the first person I push away so I can't be hurt by them pointing out my flaws
please love me, please help me
>"h-haha, I don't know, maybe I haven't found the right one or something"

[Anonymous No.11494202]

>>11494187
My fagdar is off the charts

[Anonymous No.11494218]

>>11494187

[Anonymous No.11494220]

>>11494187
Maximum oof

[Anonymous No.11494246]

>>11493930
Based and solipsisticpilled!

[Anonymous No.11494262]

>>11493606
i'd eat you and your food bby

[Anonymous No.11494277]

I just can't seem to keep a man. It must be my awful cooking.

[Anonymous No.11494278]

>>11493633
add heroin into the food

[Anonymous No.11494286]

>>11493651
the american dream everybody

[Anonymous No.11494698]

>>11493606
shut up whore

[Anonymous No.11494953]

>>11494187
Women want you to wow them. They want to thirst you so bad that they'll rationalize fucking you behind chad's back. Or at least they'd like to feel challenged in attaining you.

A metaphor for your current sexual strategy is you're a left over gravy waiting for a slice of woman to come sop you up.

[Anonymous No.11495556]

>>11493606
>Everyone at work loves my food
>A month after I start there, someone mentions that my wife must be a great cook
>I tell them that i'm single
>Everyone avoids me and my food

[Anonymous No.11495672]

>>11493606
shouldn't have ridden the dick carosel.

[Anonymous No.11495676]

>>11495556
fair weather friends are not worth keeping.

[chop No.11495697]

>>11495672
The computer's fine, though.
Use your own peripherals and you'll practically never have to physically touch the thing anyway.

[Anonymous No.11495754]

>>11495556
The only thing I can think of is that they think you're going to end it all one day and poison the food so you can take them with you. Or they're Christian fundamentalists who think you're gay cause you can cook well and believe you will spread gay to them.

[Anonymous No.11495758]

>>11493606
My wife makes a few really good meals but she's disabled and can't cook very often.

[Anonymous No.11495761]

>>11495697
>chop

[Anonymous No.11495771]

>>11493606
>wow anon, i wish my boyfriend could cook as well as you!
girl i like dropped this one on me. took everything i had not to cry

[Dorito rice OP No.11495806]

>>11493898
Sexual repression in dark triad types/ experience of sexualabuse as victim responsible for most mental illnesses/drug addictions. Probably indirectly responsible for war and other forms of sadism.

[Anonymous No.11495837]

>>11495771
its a polite thing she thinks she should say for your effort because its what she wants to hear when she cooks. she doesn't actually wish her boyfriend could cook like you. she wishes she had more intrinsic value to her boyfriend than her crusty roast beef flaps.

[Anonymous No.11495924]

>>11495837
now how do you know this?

[Anonymous No.11495977]

I'm a fucking guy and I've had several women in my office tell me I'd make a good wife.

FUCK OFF

[Anonymous No.11495983]

>>11495977
Asian? Asl?

[Anonymous No.11495988]

>>11495983
I'm not gay bro, I'm a 6'2" Caucasian male

[Anonymous No.11495994]

>>11495988
I'm gay btw, not sure if that matters

[Anonymous No.11496002]

>>11495994
You go sister!

[Anonymous No.11496003]

>>11494187
>what?! No way, how come?
>"i'm taking referrals"
boom, now you don't kill the mood

[Anonymous No.11496116]

>>11495672
You can tel these comics are made by a dumb single incel because he supports Trump

[Anonymous No.11496119]

>>11495994
Do you ever dress up like a gril?

[Anonymous No.11496124]

>>11496119
Not since wearing my mother's heels as a child.

[Anonymous No.11496148]

>>11493787
Was mommy mean to you anon? Maybe therapy can help with your surpressed anger

[Anonymous No.11496156]

>>11496148
what, no? I posted twice in this thread and neither post was angry or mean. Stop projecting.

[Anonymous No.11496179]

how do non-ugly girls manage to be lonely? just go outside

t. actual ugly girl

[Anonymous No.11496180]

>>11496156
>replying immediately
Are you constantly hitting «update»? Dont you have a life anon?

[Anonymous No.11496189]

>>11496179
how do ugly girls manage to be lonely? just go outside

[Anonymous No.11496191]

>>11496180
Nope.

[Anonymous No.11496201]

>>11496189
i've been brutally rejected by men everytime i do. men don't brutally reject women who aren't ugly.

[Anonymous No.11496217]

>>11496201
>brutally rejected
Listen I only laughed at a girl with all my friends one time when she asked me out, twice, before she ran away for the third time
You cannot judge all men on a fews actions

[Anonymous No.11496246]

>>11496189
This familia. Imagine how many underachiever guys there are out there waiting to score the perfect mid/low-shelf girl. Only problem is these guys tend to be shy

[Anonymous No.11496263]

>>11496201
Are you for real or is this some weird anon pretending to be a female online?

[Anonymous No.11496265]

>you're such a good cook, I'm sure there's a bunch of girls lining up to date you!

[Anonymous No.11496266]

>>11496246
>Imagine how many underachiever guys there are out there waiting to score the perfect mid/low-shelf girl.
Literally my plan to escape eternal loneliness desu
Got any pro tips?

[Anonymous No.11496271]

>>11496266
I'd probably date you
where do you live?

[Anonymous No.11496290]

>>11496201
Not true. Some men are spergs and just naturally reject women.

>be me
>turning 21
>cute gril asks if she can help me celebrate
>say no thanks, already made plans
>"Just gonna get two 40s of Olde English and an 1/8th of weed and get blasted in my room.
>"oh, ok"
>be me
>22 or 23
>smoked a huge hash joint
>went to comic book store
>bought graphic novel
>get some tea
>smoking cigarettes, drinking tea, and reading comic
>cute gril approaches
>"hey, can I have a cigarette"?
>"sure"
>"camels? we smoke the same cigs"!
>"yeah, cool"
>"what are you up to"?
>mumble something about trying to read this new comic
>"cool, what's your name"?
>"I'm really just trying to enjoy the weather and read this comic book I just bought. I don't know"
>gets a pissy look on her face and walks off smoking the cigarette she bummed

[Anonymous No.11496291]

>>11496271
Wisconsin
Hmu bby

[Anonymous No.11496293]

>>11496266
Are you a virgin?

[Anonymous No.11496299]

>"this tastes like shit you ugly virgin"

[Anonymous No.11496307]

>>11496266
First of all, this low self esteem thing you have going on needs to stop. It may look cute at first but it really is a turnoff for most guys. You probably arent as ugly as you say you are, and even if you are, lucky for you females can actually do something about it (hint: makeup, clothes, skin care and hair). This really can go a long way even if you were dealt a bad hand in life

As to finding a guy or a partner in general, there isnt a quick way. Obviously you could try a dating app, but thats not the place to go if you want a permanent partner. I would try to become more socially active - are you a student? Join student activities. Try to do more things with your friends and and talk to new people. Use your network and go out more and before you know it you have found someone. Hope it sorts out.

[Anonymous No.11496315]

>>11496291
eh too far away, sorry anon

[Anonymous No.11496320]

>>11496307
>It may look cute at first but it really is a turnoff for most guys.

ya i'm sure you speak for "most" guys.

[Anonymous No.11496327]

>>11496320
>having this attitude towards someone trying to give real advice

Maybe not a mystery why you are all alone after all

[Anonymous No.11496329]

>>11496327
its not real advice. its not even good advice.

[Anonymous No.11496335]

>>11496329
>men like people who constantly mope about their low self esteem
lel

[Anonymous No.11496340]

>>11496307
fuck off reddit

[Anonymous No.11496344]

Most women are shallow, useless leechers.

[Anonymous No.11496346]

>>11496335
>i've figured out the secret and know the one type of girl most men want

[Anonymous No.11496350]

>>11496329
So you’re begging strangers online for help because you cant even get the ugliest most autismo guys out there to like you, and you think you know what advice works and what doesnt? Top fucking kek

[Anonymous No.11496355]

>meet the love of your life
>she's vegan
>both try to ignore it and say it's alright
>secretly hope the other will change
>wants to move in

[Anonymous No.11496363]

>>11496355
Hit the bitch.

[Anonymous No.11496368]

>>11496350
i think your advice is as banal as some /r9k/ retard who claims "most women only date alpha chads". none of you have some secret knowledge thats unlocked the entire opposite sexes desires and I never fucking begged for shit

[Anonymous No.11496375]

>>11496368
Have a cranberry juice, sweaty.

[Anonymous No.11496409]

>>11496335
Yeah we do you retard, she'll let me bust on her face every day why wouldn't I want that?

[Anonymous No.11496421]

>>11496409
You know that if a grill likes you enough she will still do such things for you, right?

[Anonymous No.11496425]

>>11495758
disabled how?

[Anonymous No.11496426]

>>11496425
Down syndrome

[Anonymous No.11496429]

>>11493615
>you are overweight, people telling you its alright and that its ''still attractive''

[Anonymous No.11496439]

>>11496266
get on one of those dating sites where you have to pay to talk to the other people. They are more serious than OKsupid

[Anonymous No.11496598]

>>11495924
Women are insecure and validation is their drug. If they compliment you that means they want compliments themselves. Pettiest projecting creatures on Earth

[Anonymous No.11496604]

>>11496290
Or maybe it's all the pot.
Don't do drugs kids.

[Anonymous No.11496687]

>mfw gf becomes head pastry chef in the house when we cook desserts
>mfw I become head chef when we're cooking meals
feelsgoodman

[Anonymous No.11496840]

Move this thread to /r9k/ mods. it'll fit right in

[Anonymous No.11496990]

>>11496344
redpilled

[Anonymous No.11497011]

>>11494187
How about you realize that literally everyone is anxious and constantly living with grief like this, so you dont actually have a special mandate not to get over it. Dont feel so alone, youre normal

[Anonymous No.11497020]

>>11496368
Awww salty loner got mad she was addressed. I mean really, try showing up for once without snapping at people for responding to you

[Anonymous No.11497049]

>I can't cook
>girlfriend can't cook
>we just pick up a bunch of stuff from a Korean grocery store near her apartment and throw it all in a pot with some red looking spicy sauce

[Anonymous No.11497164]

>>11496116
based retard

[Anonymous No.11497168]

>>11496425
Leg disabled

[Anonymous No.11497233]

>>11493606
marry me stupid bitch lasagna

[Anonymous No.11497279]

>>11497049
sounds comfy anon

[Anonymous No.11497312]

i do the cooking every night and im great at it, really easy way to get appreciated as a male

[Anonymous No.11497349]

>read last girlfreind's diary where she weighs up breaking up with me

pros
>i cheated on him and i don't feel guilty
>[my ex] is just better
>hes bad at sex
>hes wierd
>he doesnt have any freinds
>he always looks like hes going to cry

cons
>the FOOD!
>he makes me laugh
>he likes good music
>hes nice
>he doesn't deserve it
>[my ex] wont take me back
>food!

[Anonymous No.11497362]

>>11497349
Was your ex a 14yo? Who the fucks writes diaries?

[Anonymous No.11497381]

>>11497349
You did leave her after that right?

[Anonymous No.11497382]

>>11497362
lots of people, it's a healthy thing to do

she was pretty young though

[Anonymous No.11497388]

>>11497349
Lol cuck

[Anonymous No.11497394]

What kind of food should I learn to cook to attract a bf?

[Anonymous No.11497395]

>>11497349
>No friends
>Got a GF

[Anonymous No.11497401]

>>11497381
haha no i convinced myself it was my fault and i was worthless and then tried to salvage the relationship, semi succesfully, but while the rest of my life totally spiraled out of control
eventually i did leave her but everything was totally fucked at that point and i rationalized breaking up with her because she could do better and i've been alone since lol

but atleast i'm a good cook

[Anonymous No.11497411]

>>11494187
you sound kind of gay

[Anonymous No.11497423]

>>11496320
he's not wrong, it's not cute. in a relationship it would be more annoying than anything else. eventually dudes are going to get tired of your unironic self deprecation and you relying on them to tell you they don't think you are ugly.

[Anonymous No.11497426]

>>11496368
yikes

[Anonymous No.11497427]

>>11497423
this

>girl won't take her shirt off
>thinks shes fat

bitch i do not care

[Anonymous No.11497428]

>>11497394
Foods that make you taller

[Anonymous No.11497442]

>>11497401

[Anonymous No.11497445]

>>11496307
>finding a guy or a partner in general, there isnt a quick way
For a woman there are tons of quick ways she just has to show up. Online dating works for women, going to a bar or social event works for women, practically any way you can think of for dating is in women's favor

[Anonymous No.11497466]

>>11496368
Wanting to be desired by the whole opposite sex just underlines your perfectionism and fear of rejection. Stay out of actual life, please.

[Anonymous No.11497477]

>>11497445
Except for finding a man who isn't a loser

[Anonymous No.11497480]

>>11496598
The same way most men are cowards

[Anonymous No.11497484]

>>11497477
i will grant you that

[Anonymous No.11497572]

>>11496687
>mfw this is my dream come true

[Anonymous No.11497583]

>>11496687
Thats how it was for myself and my ex wife, now I do both of those things myself, the holidays are the best time now for me.

[Anonymous No.11497607]

>>11495672
that's so fucking dumb it's funny

[Anonymous No.11497661]

>>11496290
Get a load of this retard.

[Anonymous No.11497667]

>>11497168
Have you heard about women's slacks?

[Anonymous No.11497879]

>>11496290
You're either a fucking legend or a crippling autist. It's more likely the latter.

[Anonymous No.11497967]

>>11497401
Yikes man. You're better than that, she's a trash person, and you didnt deserve for that to hapoen to you.

[Anonymous No.11497977]

>>11496201
Just tell people the men raped you.

[Anonymous No.11497997]

>>11496201
Lower your standards, problem solved.

[Anonymous No.11498003]

>>11496290
A+

[Anonymous No.11498061]

>>11496290
spotted the autist, not to say i havent been in similar situations

[Anonymous No.11498067]

>>11497168
Did she use to be an adventurer?

[Anonymous No.11498110]

>>11497395
The sad thing is that people with no friends usually end up in abusive relationships like that. Bad people are often attracted to people without support systems.

[Anonymous No.11498116]

>>11498110
That or they throw themselves into whatever relationship comes their way and lose their sense of self to try to make the first person who treated them decently happy with them.

[Anonymous No.11498118]

>>11496425
she a woman

[Anonymous No.11498818]

>>11493606
This is the kind of utter r9k tier trash you encourage with your bawwwposting you self indulgent cunt.
>>11494187
>>11495672
>>11493827
>>11496179

[Anonymous No.11498871]

>>11496346
Not only do you have to shit up the board with your pathetic bleating about how you're so lonely, you have to pull the most obnoxiously petty defensive shit posts out of your sloppy undesireable pussy once someone actually gives you the time of day?
You really might want to consider suicide, no one should have to be at risk of having to put up with you down the line.

[Anonymous No.11499893]

>>11497394
Depends on the type of man you're going for I guess. I think that most guys just want a nice, hot meal with some meat to tear through.

[Anonymous No.11499948]

>>11496179
>tfw oneitis will never love me the way I love him for this reason
I just want to move on. I miss being able to convince myself I didn't need love.

[Anonymous No.11500006]

>>11497394
anything really, even simple dishes will impress someone because of the time and effort you put in to make something for them. Whenever I've cooked for girls theyve loved it even if Ive thought the food couldve been better

[Anonymous No.11500018]

>>11493606
You have a penis though and that makes you a man.

[Anonymous No.11500028]

>>11494278
Heroin curbs appetite idiotfuck

[Anonymous No.11500038]

>>11500028
Start making cannabutter and cannaoil to use in your recipes, obviously. Or just get feedback from him on your cooking and practice.

[Anonymous No.11500054]

Are there femanons in existance willing to date an ugo who is in decent shape and can cook? I havenr touched a woman i years and im very lonely. (Also im 34 and have a 13 yo son)
Fucking hopeless

[Anonymous No.11500059]

>>11500054
Are there any anons willing to date a literal hamplanet? You know the answer to both questions. I'd tell you to just end it, but you need to be strong for your son.

[Anonymous No.11500081]

>>11493745
settle down with your gay little winkie faces, faggot

[Anonymous No.11500199]

>>11500059
not him but youre a dumb fucking piece of shit

[Anonymous No.11500219]

>>11496189
This. Men will fuck anything with a vagina.

[Anonymous No.11500364]

>>11493606
>women
>cooking
At least make your bait believable, incel.

[Anonymous No.11500367]

>>11493633
Try not being shit

[Anonymous No.11500383]

>tfw all I want to do is elevate my cooking skills and create really fancy dishes
>partner is a "chicken strips and mashed potatoes" kind of girl

[Anonymous No.11500398]

>>11493745
By the strictest definition of a fetish, i.e a subset of "obligate" paraphillia dealing solely with inanimate intrinsically non sexual objects, they are inherently deleterious. In other words, you NEED them to bust a nut, potentially to the point of no longer even being aroused by actual sex. What people do is confuse this with a preference , assuming the two are equally harmless.

[Anonymous No.11500407]

>>11497011
Not me

[Anonymous No.11500427]

>>11496425
Mentally

[Anonymous No.11500436]

>>11497477
If you cant find a man who fits your standards, you are shit yourself and your standards are too high for what you have to offer.