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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11453962 No.11453962 [Reply] [Original]

Hi /ck/. I need to cook dinner for my Jewish gf and her mother. My gf doesn't keep wholly kosher (basically only avoids pork and shellfish, but the latter is really just because she doesn't like it), but her mother does. What can I make to impress her? The mother seems to like me a little bit so I have some leeway

>> No.11453993 [DELETED] 

>>11453962
Fuck off kikefucker

>> No.11454001

>>11453962
You need to cook leberkloesse, i hear they love that.

>> No.11454015

>>11453962
Just get some bagels and cream cheese.

>> No.11454024

>>11453962
Palestinian children au Phosphorus
Or some roast with Mediterranean spices, some rice and such. Israel is not very well known for their cuisine so anything will make them go “Oh (vey), you remembered it”

>> No.11454033
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11454033

>>11453962

Jews have no original cuisine. They simply rename, and make Kosher, favorite foods in Nations them or their ancestors were/are from. Most notably: Knödelsuppe, transformed into Matzo Ball Soup. Pic related, German food.

>> No.11454976

>>11453962
Oyster platter

>> No.11454995

>>11453962
ashkenazi (eastern European) or sephardic (spanish/middle eastern) jews?

>> No.11455006

>>11453962
also remember jews love asian food.

>> No.11455012

>>11453962
Cyanide. Finish what Hitler started.

>> No.11455031

>>11453962
Get some halal shit in they will love it. Trust me.

>> No.11455114

>>11453962
Order takeout chinese, and make a big deal about it, how you specifically went out of your way to order it because they were coming and would have made a homecooked meal instead.

>> No.11455274
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11455274

Good luck buns.

>> No.11455301
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11455301

i heard they like this...

>> No.11455354
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11455354

>>11453962
Cookies.

>> No.11455390
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11455390

>>11453962
Cook food from this book. Israel took all the good Palestinian recipes and pretend they invented them themselves. The author got death threats from zionists for mentioning the fact that many Israeli staple dishes are actually of Palestinian origin although they have been introduced to the west as Jewish food.

There's an EPUB floating around somewhere.

>> No.11455395
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11455395

>>11453962

>> No.11455400
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11455400

Roast a leg of lamb with some garlic and rosemary in it.
Serve with potatoes, carrots, green beans, roasted onions, mint sauce.
If she's truly hardcore kosher you want to avoid milk in the sauce. That's easy enough, though.

You can substitute in some other vegetables if I want I guess.

I'm thinking this should be both kosher and kinda sorta close enough to Israeli food without looking like you just made a really stereotypical Jew dish to appease her. That might offend her you see. You know how those people are.

>> No.11456210
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11456210

combine
>>11455400
with
>>11455274
capable of making sandwiches for leftovers

>> No.11456216

>>11453962
Add ricin to whatever you make, you'd be doing the world a favor by removing a few of their parasitic kind

>> No.11456222

>>11453962

>Create fictional story
>Post about it on /ck/
>wait for edgy results


/pol/ is a containment board and yet here you are.

>> No.11456236

>>11453962
kugel
matzo ball soup
haroset
Make a fish dish too

>> No.11456272
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11456272

Jew here make Stuffed cabbage rolls.

>> No.11456288

>>11453962
Get some kosher wine

>> No.11456296

>>11456222
>reddit spacing
Fuck off, faggot

>> No.11456307

>>11453962
Cook your GF and her mother.

>> No.11456312
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11456312

My wifes kike dad used to make Matzo ball soup all the time. In the store look for products with a "U" or "K" in a circle, it means its heeb food. The food they eat is pretty gross. Good luck with whatever you choose. You gotta also consider that if you make it kosher, its gotta be prepaired on a certain surface. My inlaw wont even eat off plates that has had unkosher food on it. Best of luck

>> No.11456321

>>11453962
just serve her the traditional dish of goyim foreskins

>> No.11456330

Cook everything with lard and tell her afterwards

>> No.11456335

>>11456330
That’s mean. Do you even know any Jewish people?

>> No.11456347

>>11456335
An aggressively zionist dude who married an alleged kike convert once spoke at my church. He was asked to stop before he was done.

>> No.11456348

>>11456296
>Fuck off, faggot
No u.

>> No.11456359

>>11453962
>What can I make to impress her?
Money

>> No.11456367

>>11456296
we've been doing that for years, you're 2011 at the earliest you tourist

>> No.11456375

>>11456367
Nice try, 9gagger

>> No.11456376

>>11453962
Chicken liver pate, my jewish mother in law makes it for every jew she meets.

>> No.11456411

I have a Smoker so I would smoke a Beef Brisket.

If you dont have a smoker you can make Corned Beef brisket.

>> No.11458625

>>11453962
blood matzos