/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11422951]

I just made scrambled eggs for the first time in my life at the ripe old age of 22. Are they supposed to look like cat vomit? My mind is not as sharp as it once was.

[Anonymous No.11422956]

>>11422951
I think you have alzimers m8 because that is cat vomit

[Anonymous No.11422960]

>>11422951
Put the pepper on as it cooks. Mix it up better.

[Anonymous No.11422965]

>>11422951
Try cooking it longer.

Also lay off the weed.

[Anonymous No.11422974]

>>11422951
They look really good. Add butter or milk to make them fluffier.

[Anonymous No.11422985]

They look okay. Maybe could have cooked just a little longer

[Anonymous No.11422987]

>>11422951
that's fine, i like mine runny, but can't stand runny eggs made any other way, scrambled only

[Anonymous No.11422999]

>>11422951
Yeah, they look alright.

Did you do the "constant stir" method with lots of butter?

[Anonymous No.11423002]

>>11422974
That makes custard, a heavy end product. A teaspoon of water per egg makes them fluffy.

[Anonymous No.11423016]

>>11423002
A custard isn't heavy; if it is then you can't cook.

[Anonymous No.11423031]

next time sweat off some diced onions and bacon in butter first, then add some diced tomatoes to the egg and cook it like that. Delicious.

[Anonymous No.11423043]

>>11423016
There are like 50 different custards on the scale. Scramble eggs isn’t one of them. In comparison, custards would typically be described as rich and thick, or heavy compared to simple scrambled eggs.

[Anonymous No.11423044]

>>11422956
it's alltimers

[Anonymous No.11423066]

>>11422965
Thanks, I'll leave them on a little longer next time as I was afraid I'd cooked them for too long. I also don't do drugs anymore after going through a five-month benzo withdrawal that absolutely JUSTed me and probably shaved off 30 points from my already paltry IQ. I figured cooking was a productive hobby to take up as I slowly work my way back up to form.

>>11422999
Thank you, I did the "pull inwards toward the center from the outer edge every few seconds with a spatula" method as that seemed to be the most common in the video tutorials I watched. They were all meant for kids, though, so I hope that's not a dumb method or anything.

[Anonymous No.11423140]

>>11423043
again, no custard is heavy.

[Anonymous No.11423173]

>>11422951
add just a touch of milk

[Anonymous No.11423182]

>>11423140
Again you just make yourself sound stupid. Get out more...

[Anonymous No.11423213]

>>11423016
What do cheesecake, ice cream, trifles, Bavarians, crème brûlée, pots de crème, and pudding all have in common? At the most basic level, these are all custards.

[Anonymous No.11423216]

>>11423213
And none are heavy.
Congrats on trying cook, but get better.

[Anonymous No.11423222]

>>11423216
I think your definition of heavy is warped.

[Anonymous No.11423224]

>>11423222
Yeah, nothing like nice "heavy" ice cream on a hot summer day to cool you off.

You have no idea how English works do you?

[Anonymous No.11423266]

>>11423224
Not that people put it that way. Unless you only buy cheap, low quality ice cream with crazy percentages of overrun, ice cream, is heavy. (Especially If compared to chocolate mousse).

[OP No.11423295]

>>11423224
Yeah, nothing like a light and refreshing milkshake when it’s 112 out... or chug half a gallon of eggnog, that’s my go to summertime drink.

[Anonymous No.11423344]

>>11423295
>light and refreshing milkshake when it’s 112 out
You don't do that, then you're abnormal.
Ice cream stands are open and are sold in the summer. they close during the cold "off season"

>>11423266
if your ice cream is heavy then you're a shit cook and suck at custards. EOF.

[OP No.11423451]

>>11423344
You have no idea what heavy means...

[Anonymous No.11423465]

>>11423344
>open and are sold in the summer

and they sell more ice cream at night.

[Anonymous No.11423843]

>>11423451
Yeah, we get it anon, you had someone call your custard dish "heavy" now you think it should be.

Protip: heavy custard isn't a compliment; it's point out a flaw.

[Anonymous No.11423848]

Has mommy been breast feeding you this whole time, OP? How are you this old and never fried eggs before?

[Anonymous No.11423871]

>>11423843
So you never had New York Style Cheesecake?

Since you don’t comprehend what “heavy” means, give an example that you think is heavy and light desserts...

[Anonymous No.11423882]

>>11423140
Creme brulee

[Anonymous No.11423884]

>>11422951
a little bit too scrambled there

[Anonymous No.11423895]

>>11423871
>light dessert
My creme anglaise
>heavy dessert
Your creme anglaise

[Anonymous No.11423920]

>>11423882
New York Style Cheese cake is a perfect example of a heavy custard.

>>11423895
Something to contrast, please. What do you consider a heavy dessert?

[Anonymous No.11423929]

>>11423843
I think your Hot Pockets are done...

[Anonymous No.11423939]

>>11423929
Keep thinking your "heavy desserts" are suppose to be heavy because you can't cook.

[Anonymous No.11423951]

>>11423939
Do you even know?

[Anonymous No.11423962]

>>11423951
Do you? I mean people in this thread are saying creme brulee should be heavy.

here's what you should do: Save your allowances and find a way to get to Thomas Kellers Bouchon and get his quiche. You'll see what I mean when custards shouldn't be heavy.

[Anonymous No.11423990]

>>11422951
wtf did you do to those eggs
parts of it are over cooked and then parts of it are basically raw egg white
how did you fuck that up like that
just stir constantly on low heat with a knob of butter, do not add salt - that's probably why it looks so fucking weird.
it should look curdy and glossy with a uniform color.
if you add salt while cooking it gets fucked up.

[Anonymous No.11424026]

>>11423962
As I said earlier, there are at least 50 different types of custard (apparently something you don’t realize) some are a sauce others are a heavy, rich, dense food.

Highest quality ice cream, those well above the catering quality standard are heavy, solid.

Fudge is a heavy confection, butter mochi is a heavy dessert, brownies are cake’s heavy cousin... indeed some foods are meant to be heavy and usually portioned accordingly.

This notion you have that heavy is always negative is just plain wrong.

[Anonymous No.11424035]

>>11424026
>others are a heavy, rich, dense food.
Yeah, this is part that separates the men from the boys. it's NOT suppose to be heavy, rich, dense! if it is then you can't cook.

You're as fucking dense as your custard.

[Anonymous No.11424043]

>>11424035
And you have such limited World experience. Sad.

[Anonymous No.11424053]

>>11424043
Yeah, i'm clearly missing out by not attending your church potluck or favorite trucker greasy spoon.
Enjoy your "heavy meals"

[Anonymous No.11424062]

>>11423962
This just highlights your limited view of what custards are really.

[Anonymous No.11424066]

>>11424053
I do enjoy a heavy, hearty meal especially in the Winter.

[Anonymous No.11424074]

>>11424053
Nice bait

[Anonymous No.11424106]

>>11424035
Happy Pride Day!

[Anonymous No.11424109]

Please waiter send this creme brulee back. It's clearly not heavy, dense and snotlike. I don't know where he got this recipe but it's crap!

[Anonymous No.11424141]

>>11424109
In comparison to simple scrabbled eggs, yes, it’s heavier and a dense dessert compared to say a cream puff.

[Anonymous No.11424146]

>>11422951
No wonder they voted for Donald Trump, the thread!

[Anonymous No.11424170]

>>11424141
>creme brulee should be more dense than scrambled eggs

[Anonymous No.11424183]

>>11424170
Oh look at this light and airy chocolate custard...

[Anonymous No.11424191]

>>11424170
On your second marriage yet?

[Anonymous No.11424194]

>>11424183
>he thinks that's custard.

[Anonymous No.11424200]

>>11424194
Proof that you have no idea what you’re on about.

[Anonymous No.11424204]

>>11424200
Show recipe. That pic is a fucking cake.
>So decadent you can almost call it fudge. It's a simple recipe of dark chocolate, eggs, sugar and a little flour. That's all it takes to make this gourmet chocolate cake so rich and creamy you can't help but share. So go on. Share the decadence.
How fucking stupid are you?

[Anonymous No.11424224]

>>11424204
A decadent cake made from a chocolate custard. (Flourless torte), it’s just a picture but looks the same. A rich, heavy dessert. You have a thin slice not the entire thing...

[Anonymous No.11424246]

>>11424224
>flourless
The recipe your pic is from says it has fucking flour in it. You're a fucking fool.
You also have no idea what a fucking custard is.
Good day sir.

[Anonymous No.11424260]

>>11423066
that is the correct method, but near the end you gotta get up under the eggs and fold them over. then you dont get the chopped up vomit look.

[Anonymous No.11424270]

>>11424246
Some cheat and add filler some don’t. It doesn’t have to have flour, although many custards do use flour or gelatin.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flourless_chocolate_cake

[Anonymous No.11424284]

>>11424270
No milk or cream and eggs then no custard.
Please stop posting until you have the basics down.

[Anonymous No.11424297]

>>11424284
Like there is a single recipe for everything.

[Anonymous No.11424310]

>>11424246
Happy?

[Anonymous No.11424314]

>>11424297
Your damage control is weak. I'm still trying to figure out why a cake is being brought up in a custard thread anyway.

[Anonymous No.11424323]

>>11424310
>unicorns in the kitchen dot fuckoff
So you're just google image searching a bunch of flyover blogger shit now?

[Anonymous No.11424332]

>>11424314
Because it’s a heavy dessert, as it is meant to be, plus this is an scrambled egg 101 thread.

[Anonymous No.11424334]

>>11424323
That’s all you deserve, DESU.

[Anonymous No.11424346]

>>11424332
>heavy dessert
>as it is meant to be
Hello Flyover!

[Anonymous No.11424366]

>>11424346
So the fudge you serve is light and delicate, fluffy?

[Anonymous No.11424369]

>>11422951
>>11422951
ive made scrambly boys for a good amount of my life

Alllright, here we go.

Granulated Onion/Onion powder (few taps)
Adding a bit of water (teaspoon or so) helps them not shrink into nothingness
Shredding a bit of cheese (cover top of bowl, LIGHTLY goddamnit you fat fuck) helps with flavor
In general, you dont have to put in milk or butter the pan. If you're quick enough, then you shouldn't have to.
The edges will start to look dry when you're cooking (have it on low on a burner, maybe a notch or three above) and that's when you should start scraping the eggs around.
Keep going until they dry out again, until the egg mass you're left with has some wet parts. Spread it out on the pan, and then turn off heat, letting the leftover heat in the pan cook everything off.

Seriously though, how did you go this far without knowing?

[Anonymous No.11424385]

>>11424366
Na, I pack your mom's fudge until it's as dense as your custard.

[Anonymous No.11424396]

>>11424385
At least YOUR not retarded like these people that don’t understand heavy isn’t always a bad thing.

[Anonymous No.11424410]

>>11424396
>t. lunchlady

[Anonymous No.11424465]

>>11422951
Looks really good. Everyone likes them differently, but I prefer mine velvety like that

[Anonymous No.11424631]

This Carnegie Deli’s legendary Cheesecake is 8" round and serves approximately 10-12 people (4.5 lbs.) heavy...

8" Angel Food Cake 22OZ, Serving 1/12th light...

[Anonymous No.11425540]

>>11424369
>Seriously though, how did you go this far without knowing?
I'm just really slow and behind on most things, and it's only recently that I've gotten the energy required to attempt new things.

[Anonymous No.11426121]

>>11422951
Low slow and well whicked is probably best but I like to keep a little unwhisked white in there.

[Anonymous No.11426146]

>>11422951
As others have noticed, parts look over done and under done; it lacks smoothness. I think you had the heat too high, and/or tried to cook too quickly. Remember that you can take the pot on and off the burner and continue stirring to prevent overheating it to maintain smoothness.

Just watch Ramsey and Blumenthal cook them and it should make sense.

[Anonymous No.11427211]

>>11422951
>that 22 year old boomer who can't make scrambled eggs

[Anonymous No.11427245]

>>11422951
Yes

[Anonymous No.11427270]

>>11427245
That pic is the very definition of cooking eggs wrong. "Done in the pan; overcooked on the plate"