/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Mon Oct 8 19:57:23 2018 No.11307455 [Reply] [Original]

You are making a somewhat fancy dinner for the in-laws. Cut your finger and it really wont stop bleeding and no band aid in the house!
What do?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 19:59:06 2018 No.11307462 >>11307455 Glove, saran wrap and tape, duct tape, condom, piece of a plastic bag, wait for it to stop. That's all I got.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:00:29 2018 No.11307469 >>11307455 Go to my truck and get my first aid kit. >>11307462 that works too. so does super glue.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:03:12 2018 No.11307482 >>11307455 >no band aid in the house Not possible. I have a blow out kit in my car and an IFAK on hand at all times.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:03:16 2018 No.11307483 >>11307455 Stick finger in mouth until it stops bleeding. No blood loss if it immediately goes back in your body.

Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:08:24 2018 No.11307505

>>11307455
>yell for the so
>"heh, i got a little nervous and fucked up... help me make this not so embarrassing for both our sakes; like, find whatever you can to stop the bleeding and help me clean up before your parents walk in and see me standing over the kitchen sink with a dumb cringe on my face helplessly bleeding like a retard"
>explain you got a little overwhelmed trying to impress them but are just a human being
>laugh about it and get sympathy for your wound and humility
>still put out an awesome dinner

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:12:06 2018 No.11307515 >>11307483 And keep the food burning? I would hold it under the coldest tap water possible, then wrap some toiletpaper around hold by rubber band or duct tape.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:12:45 2018 No.11307517 Realize only I exist and don't bleed because I didn't cut myself because I can't experience suffering.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:18:19 2018 No.11307540 >>11307455 Realize you are human. Paper towel wrap it tight, put a glove over it or electric tape. Finish what you started

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:33:10 2018 No.11307594 File: 541 KB, 730x800, 1443115352998.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11307455 Make a thread about it on 4chan instead of holding my hand over my head with a paper towel to apply pressure.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:35:09 2018 No.11307602 >>11307455 Mix the blood with the food. I am now part of them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:35:22 2018 No.11307603 disinfectant spray, sterile dressing, wrap it with gauze, elevate and apply pressure to the wound. If it still doesn't stop go to an urgent care clinic and get it stitched/stapled/whatever

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:36:34 2018 No.11307606 >>11307455 lemon juice and cobwebs.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:39:02 2018 No.11307610 >>11307594 Hand over head.. apply pressure Does not compute.

Anonymous Mon Oct 8 20:50:39 2018 No.11307675

>>11307483
>>11307515
>>11307610
>i have no idea what basic first aid is
listen to these anons
>>11307603
>>11307594

>>11307610
>Hand over head.. apply pressure
>Does not compute.
you elevate your hand so that blood is draining away from it and apply pressure by pressing on the wound with your other hand. Pretty simple anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 21:30:11 2018 No.11307860 >>11307455 Super glue.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 21:33:38 2018 No.11307876 >>11307675 >you elevate your hand so that blood is draining away from it and apply pressure by pressing on the wound with your other hand. .. and food will make it self

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 21:43:38 2018 No.11307927 Fire up the broiler and cauterize it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 21:45:30 2018 No.11307936 File: 161 KB, 838x911, 0aa.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Let myself bleed out, because being dead is better than being married.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 21:49:06 2018 No.11307948 >>11307936 >Boo hoo, marriage sucks Man up and get a divorce, Sally.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 22:38:58 2018 No.11308148 >>11307948 I have the foresight not to get married in the first place.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 22:39:33 2018 No.11308151 >>11307936 I didn't know I was at a comedy club in the 90s.

Anonymous Mon Oct 8 22:43:12 2018 No.11308159
File: 89 KB, 1200x1048, 1533337578923.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11307455
>Not putting your bleeding finger in your mouth
>Not licking your wound
>Not pouring a glass of warm salt water and dipping the wound inside
>Not licking the salty wound more and repeating the process
>Not pouring liquor on it
>Not wrapping a paper towel around the wound and tightly winding it
>Not proceeding to serve dinner

Pussy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 23:03:54 2018 No.11308256 >>11307876 fuck the food and fuck my imaginary in-laws, I'm bleeding

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 23:24:11 2018 No.11308346 Wrist tourniquet. Quick!

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 23:35:56 2018 No.11308394 Have my wife suck on my finger in front of her parents.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 8 23:45:46 2018 No.11308431 I don't use bandaids anyway I just dip my hand in a bucket of salt until my skin dries up and cracks.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 00:19:24 2018 No.11308606 >>11307515 >And keep the food burning? You either: ask the in-laws to monitor the stove while you handle the wound Or: turn the stove off, apologise and go handle the wound

Anonymous Tue Oct 9 00:30:06 2018 No.11308652

>>11307455
Had this happen, minus the in-laws. Steps taken were as follows:
>run water over it
>isopropyl alcohol
>super glue
>paper towel
>aluminum foil
Granted, it was just the pinky, so it didn't stop me from finishing grating potatoes for hash browns.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 00:32:31 2018 No.11308660 >>11307455 Not having a 5.10 tactical turnaquite on your person and in every room of the house, with three spares in the truck and 2 spares in the garage. Do you even prep bro?

>>	Argie Tue Oct 9 05:15:52 2018 No.11309444 File: 93 KB, 1055x574, 1537155384833.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11307505 Yup.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 05:48:45 2018 No.11309504 >>11307455 >and no band aid in the house! So I'll just use gauze and medical tape like I usually do anyway.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 05:55:15 2018 No.11309518 I've been out of options before, I simply get some tape and toiletpaper and some disinfectant.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 05:59:07 2018 No.11309526 >>11307455 Is no one else seriously freaking out at this picture?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 06:51:19 2018 No.11309619 >>11307455 Tie some paper tissues around it

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 06:53:28 2018 No.11309625 >>11307455 You don't have Quikclot i your house, or your car med kit?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 06:55:52 2018 No.11309636 File: 737 KB, 607x593, She has all my meats.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11309526 I have no phobias pertaining to photoshop.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 13:42:36 2018 No.11310632 stick it in my ass

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 13:44:59 2018 No.11310638 >>11309526 No, because we are not redditfags

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 9 13:47:35 2018 No.11310645 >>11307455 Douse with chlorohexidine ointment, tissue folded and held tight on wound, wrap with plastic wrap, wear glove. Reassess if it's still bleeding heavily, or felt sore/appeared red/white or swollen after a day I'd see a doctor urgently.

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