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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11264579 No.11264579 [Reply] [Original]

I'm thinking about making a dish or dessert that is very good looking and photogenic but make it as bland and tasteless as possible.

This will be some kind of le deep social commentary about instagram food culture and hopefully I get some media coverage and my restaurant gets some clout. I'm thinking of calling it 'the instastar' or some shit like that

This being said what bland food can I make look tasty?

>> No.11264594

Huh?

>> No.11264601

>>11264579
also I'm gay, not sure if that matters

>> No.11264610

Food photographers use a lot of tricks to style the food they're working with. Like, hairspray and some edible (but horribly tasting) stuff. You could look those up. Or just install a jammer in your restaurant idk.

>> No.11264651

>>11264579
Chocolate cake but it's actually pumpernickel bread. Don't even be deceptive. Have a description right there. Mayonnaise-Americans will still buy it and be disappointed.

>> No.11264685

Make Japanese recipes of Western desserts. They are infamously bland and pretty!

>> No.11264699

>>11264651
this is actually a pretty good idea
although you could do something like a buckwheat flour cake (bleached or unbleached) instead. then you could use xanthan gum and food coloring to create really bright frosting that doesn't taste like anything

>> No.11264701

Bake something normally, but remove all the sugar from it. Or cut the sugar by 3/4.

>> No.11264725

Worst desserts I've had:

"fruit tart" that was a sheet of plain agar with fruit slices on top

some kind of cheesecake/pie that tasted like someone forgot some of the sugar and there was lots of corn starch in it

>> No.11264730

>>11264579
Call it "the female"

>> No.11264733

>>11264730
the instathot

>> No.11264756

>>11264579
don't use any salt. hide bland ingredients inside of things, like oats or plain potato

>> No.11264759

Put raisins in a cookie

>> No.11264773
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11264773

>>11264579
>do it for me so I can get popular
Fuck off, you uncreative faggot.

>> No.11264915

>>11264579
you'll probably want some bad texture, so add lots of cornstarch or a lot of gelatine to everything. perfume the dessert with toasted cinnamon sticks, clove, cardammon, and thyme

>> No.11264941

>>11264610
If we're using the tricks """""""""professionals"""""""" use
>Pour elmers glue in a bowl
>Add in stale cereal
There you go, looks great and tastes bad.

>>11264651
>le pumpernickel is le bad because it sounds le silly XD
Seriously? Is this a fucking cartoon?

>> No.11264946

>>11264651
It's not about the name. Bumpkins see it and assume it's sweetened chocolate.

>> No.11265002

There are some breads in South America made of tapioca flour that basically taste like crunchy air. You could make that, mold it into some impressive shape, decorate with food coloring and fondant, and wa la.

>> No.11265080

>>11264773
Cringe

>> No.11265082

>>11265080
What happened, snowflake? Catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror?

>> No.11265096

>>11265082
Cringe

>> No.11265103

>>11264579
I think you'll want to add some colors and textures to it. Like, sprinkle it with some generic spices (or use ground tree bark or something for extra hipster points), and add a twig of thyme on top. Perhaps mix cereals of slightly different colors.

>> No.11265109

>>11265096
Pedophile.