/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11201466]

What is jail/prison food really like? What's the canteen like?

[Anonymous No.11201470]

idk im not black

[Anonymous No.11201485]

>>11201466
Last time I was in jail we had biscuits and gravy for breaky, then a chicken patty for lunch. Other jails aren't that good though. My local one serves nothing but oatmeal for breakfast, and sandwich's for dinner. Only hot meal is lunch.

I don't go to jail much, the sausage biscuit place let me go after 1 night because the charges were dropped. The other time I walked out of a store without paying cuz I was drunk and forgot.

You get ramen chips and candy adn shit from commissary.

[Anonymous No.11201488]

>>11201466
Who cares? If you think you might be going to prison and the food is the thing you're thinking about you should probably just kill yourself now.

[Anonymous No.11201502]

>>11201488
So instead of having an actual answer, you still felt somewhat compelled to comment.
>I don't know shit about shit, but here's my take on it
Go to bed you faggot.

[Anonymous No.11201504]

its so bad that in most jails and prisons the entire economy is built around commissary. let that sink in. grown men obsessing over soft drinks, candy bars and soups.

been to three diff jails in my life

[Anonymous No.11201508]

>>11201502
>I don't know shit about shit

It's prison, dum dum. Nothing about it is supposed to be good. Why do you want to talk about things that are obviously not good?

[Anonymous No.11201512]

>>11201508
Just go the fuck away lol. I like to learn things I don't know about, no one fucking wants to hear your weirdo bitching.

[Anonymous No.11201514]

>>11201508
It's better than school lunches in the U.S.

[Anonymous No.11201517]

>>11201512
>I like to learn things I don't know about

You're not learning anything, though. I don't know what tv prison show you've been watching that glamorized prison food, but it's nothing informative or in any way interesting.

[Anonymous No.11201533]

>>11201470
fpbp

[Anonymous No.11201569]

>>11201466
>canteen
you eat in the pod/cell block.
there is no canteen is maximum security.
>tell them you're allergic to mayo
>get better food because they make everything with mayo
that's about it.

[Anonymous No.11201571]

>>11201569
>no canteen in maximum security
my bad.

[Anonymous No.11201585]

>>11201502
+1

[Anonymous No.11201597]

>>11201514
children deserve nothing until they grow up and stop leeching on society

[Anonymous No.11201674]

>>11201466
It's surprisingly like public school lunches. Sometimes you get something good (a wrapped muffin, "pizza," apple sauce, etc) but most of it is just gross and you probably won't want to eat it.

[Anonymous No.11201720]

I have never been to prison but in jail the food varies depending on what county you are in.

Last one i was in breakfast would be something like either grits, oatmeal or cereal with a slice of bread, frozen apples and either fake juice or something that resembled milk.

Pic related is an example of a commisary for we would fill out. Anything that would normaly come in a can is in a plastic pouch and the radio was made with clear plastic so guards could see inside of it.

I also worked in the kitchen a few times and made food for the officers so ama.

[Anonymous No.11201754]

>>11201517
I think you’d sustain yourself on semen.

[Anonymous No.11201876]

>>11201466
You don't get fed as well in jail. We had a cup of cereal in the morning, 2 wet bologna sandwiches for lunch, and whatever slop they made for dinner. Prison was more substantial. A lot of undercooked baked chicken. Commissary had instant coffee, candy bars, peanut butter and stuff like that.

[Anonymous No.11201955]

>>11201720
>I have never been to prison but in jail the food varies depending on what county you are in.

Can confirm this. Been in a few County jails and some are better than others. My first time in jail 7 years ago was a life changer as I lost 80lbs in 7 months due to the portions of the meals. Plus you can only eat a single serving box of frosted flakes for breakfast everyday for so long before you end up not getting up for it.

[Anonymous No.11201960]

How the fuck do you go to jail?

[Anonymous No.11201970]

actually went to a field trip to a prison.

the inmate who gave us a tour told us he was always hungry. portions are small and limited. you'll never feel full.

i'd hoard a weeks worth of honey buns. then binge on them all at once. i can't escape that /ck/ lifestyle.

[Anonymous No.11201980]

>>11201970
>implying someone wouldn't stab you to steal your stash

[Anonymous No.11201994]

Australian jail must be different.
My friend did 6 months, he went in skinny drug addict and came out with a bit of fat on him. He looked healthier but it didn't take long for him to go back to skinny druggo once he was out.

[Anonymous No.11202002]

>>11201466
Stale cheerios.

[Anonymous No.11202019]

>>11201466
I never went to the chow hall. Celly was a cholo and the whites had it out for me for not trying to fight him. Canteen where I was locked up has chips, noodles, drink mix (including coffee), instant rice, tortillas, tuna, and some nondescript lunch meat we called hag ("hag sammich"). I never bought my own stuff there though. 36 months, and I probably left the house less than 40 times just so I wouldn't get stabbed. Thank fuck for having money going in there, it was worth every penny.

[Anonymous No.11202033]

>>11202019
Oh and as far as the quality, pretty much no worse than what you'd get in the lowest-tier supermarket stuff although the tortillas would sometimes be old and moldy

[Anonymous No.11202056]

>>11201994
>>11201970
It's pretty common for people to lose weight in prison, since there's nothing to do but exercise and they diet you pretty hard in there.

I suppose you could gain weight too if you went in as a skeleton

[Anonymous No.11202085]

>>11201876
>2 wet bologna sandwiches
wut

[Anonymous No.11202695]

>>11201485
They really put you in jail for being a drunk dumbass?

Cashier thought process:
>Hmm I have two choices
>A) go tell him he has to pay and avoid making a scene
>B) Call the cops and make a giant fuss making everybody's night significantly worse
>B it is!

[Anonymous No.11202818]

>>11202695

I'm guessing there's some details missing from this guy's account.

[Anonymous No.11202889]

>>11202085
That's code for: Eating Butt

[Anonymous No.11202974]

>>11201466
It looks worse than it tastes, and that's only because it tastes like absolutely nothing. It's amazing how much something that looks like chili can taste like chunky water.

[Anonymous No.11202993]

>>11201720
>Cough Syrup

So it's legal to DXM trip in prison?

[Anonymous No.11203016]

>>11202695
Or C, do nothing because you make minimum wage and who gives a shit? People inability to just mind their own fucking business truly astounds me.

[Anonymous No.11203057]

>>11202993
I guarantee it's cough syrup without DXM. It's very easy to get drugs in prison though, as long as you have money. You'll pay 5x what you pay on the street for the same amount thanks to the risk people are taking smuggling it in their anus, which is how it's typically smuggled in. Even if they don't shove it up there for temporary storage, they'll swallow a bunch of balloons full of the shit and shit it out later.

[Anonymous No.11203068]

>>11202993
>>11201720
>People in prison have to buy basic medical care goods

Is this a meme? I'm feeling that this wouldn't look out of place in one of those jails in Bogota or somewhere.

[Anonymous No.11203070]

>>11202695
Many minimum wage cashiers are told that they aren't supposed to engage shoplifters. A lot of times if someone has the mindset to engage in one form of criminal behavior, there is no clear way to determine if they'd also exhibit violent behavior when confronted. Nobody wants to get lined in chalk because they were trying to stop an armed thug for $7/hr and frankly, the company doesn't want to need to dish out the money for that lowly employees casket.

[Anonymous No.11203087]

>>11203068
You don't have to pay for them, but if you have a throbbing headache and you don't have asprin or something in your cell, it might be over a day before the medical unit will actually see you. That is likely way after it's over. Everything in prison is extremely bureaucratic and you can wait over a week something basic like a special request phone call (one that's longer than the usual 10 minutes you get).

[Anonymous No.11203185]

>>11203057
how do you pay for it? not cash?

[Anonymous No.11204049]

Real niggas know

[Anonymous No.11204060]

>>11202974
Unsurprisingly, they skimp on salt and pepper massively. Some places don't even use it.

[Anonymous No.11205030]

>>11204049
Bet these taste like shit

[Anonymous No.11205057]

I work in a small jail, below is our food. (No comissary so it’s this or nothing)

Breakfast: small plastic bowl of cereal like you had in elementary school, muffin, fiber bar, dry milk packet.

Lunch: the only hot food, we have 6 different tv type dinners.

Dinner: either pbj or turkey sandwich with bag of chips n cookie.

2300-3000 calories depending on the line up.

[Anonymous No.11205099]

>>11203016
Just cause you like to live your life with out interaction doesnt mean the rest of us have to.

[Anonymous No.11205119]

>>11203068
None of those medical supplies are entirely nessary yeah cough drops and anti diareah medication help you out but a sore throat and the shits isnt gonna kill you unless its a serious issue witch they will treat you for.

[Anonymous No.11205138]

>>11201720
What about scissors and razor blades and why is a bottle of water cheaper in jail then it is at a gas station or a resturant like that bottle would be 1-2 dollars at those places yeah 30 cents is proably what you pay per bottle at a grocery store pack but fuck thats insulting

[Anonymous No.11205203]

I was in county for a week. the food was awful. for breakfast I'd get a piece of fruit and a granola bar or a box of cereal. that was probably the most edible meal of the day. lunch was either a baloney sandwich or a gross looking hot dog. dinner was a tray of some kind of mush. one day I got a hamburger that was probably only 30% actual meat. on thanksgiving I got a slice of deli turkey with gravy on it and some sludge I think was supposed to be stuffing. when I got booked the cops confiscated the money in my wallet as evidence instead of putting it in my commisary account so I didn't get to buy those meme chips. everything was mushy because the only utensil you got was a floppy rubber spoon. overall I wouldn't recommend it.

[Anonymous No.11205204]

>>11203016
But he was minding his business

[Anonymous No.11205606]

>>11201485
Drunkenness is a sin, repent

[Anonymous No.11205632]

>>11201485
Drunkenness is a sin, repent

[Anonymous No.11205648]

>>11201466
I have been to jail overnight twice. Once was public intoxication in a city jail. We legit got those little 2 muffin egg and cheese things. It's a texan name. It's a pretty good breakfast.

The other time I was in for a dwi. And it took forever because I was in county. It was the worst food I ever tasted. Literally no one in the cell could take 2 bites.

[Anonymous No.11205681]

Someone I know came out of prison and his sense of taste was fucked because he got hooked on Tostiloco-like commissary concoctions.

[Anonymous No.11206186]

>>11205030
Apparently they just taste like any regular potato chip, and the hype is entirely a mental thing

[Anonymous No.11206192]

>>11205057
>6 different tv type dinners
list them

[Anonymous No.11206198]

>>11203057
>thanks to the risk people are taking smuggling it in their anus, which is how it's typically smuggled in. Even if they don't shove it up there for temporary storage, they'll swallow a bunch of balloons full of the shit and shit it out later.

Most of the drugs are brought in by the guards. Not to say that there isn't risk there too, they deserve their mark-up, but make no mistake that most of these guards are just blue-collar dirtbags who aren't going to have a problem with smuggling drugs into the prisoners. If the guards didn't want drugs in the prison there wouldn't be any.

[Anonymous No.11206203]

>>11206198
They're also often extorted into doing it

[Anonymous No.11206258]

>>11201470
FPBP

[Anonymous No.11206262]

>>11201569
>>tell them you're allergic to mayo
>>get better food because they make everything with mayo
Good info.

[Anonymous No.11206275]

>>11206262
some people convert to islam or judaism simply because the religion-specific menus are usually much higher quality

[Anonymous No.11206277]

>>11203185
>how do you pay for it? not cash?
Both parties have people on the outside.
You can also pay with status, or lives, or loyalty.

[Anonymous No.11206293]

>>11205138
>What about scissors and razor blades and why is a bottle of water cheaper in jail
No one cares if niggers kill each other.
Water is probably tap water, bottled by inmates in a jail/prison owned by the same company.
Jails/prisons make almost all of the US Military's uniforms, Federal Government pens for writing, State liscense plates, etc. A lot of Federal and State produced items are created in prisons.

[Anonymous No.11206298]

>>11206275
>some people convert to islam or judaism simply because the religion-specific menus are usually much higher quality
Makes sense. Never thought about that. Makes a lot of sense though.
It's like the airplane food for 'vegetarians' or 'halal' is better than the typical course.

[Anonymous No.11206301]

>>11206293
>water is proably tap
Says dasani right their

[Anonymous No.11206303]

>>11201466
I've seen two jail's foods as an officer.
The small county jail had its own cooks and it was basically just school food for every meal. Us officers ate the same stuff because it wasn't bad.
Then the big city jail is literal slop nobody fucking touches.

[Anonymous No.11206305]

>>11206298
Yeah, pretty much. Just something you do to get by. Don't get caught being a fake muslim by the real muslims though!

[Anonymous No.11206313]

>>11206301
>Says dasani right their
Probably some federal tax credit thing for pepsi/coke, whoever owns them.

[Anonymous No.11206331]

>>11201470

[Anonymous No.11206622]

>>11201485
>biscuits and gravy for breaky
South?

[Anonymous No.11206863]

When I was in city jail breakfast was a large donut and chocolate milk, or a BK breakfast sandwich and OJ on the weekends, lunch was a Whopper and drink and dinner was carryout from a local restaurant, good times lads.

[Anonymous No.11207214]

I've worked as an officer in two different county jails. It's literally just school food. Some of it is alright and some of it sucks, just depends

[Anonymous No.11207225]

Fuck, even those child molesters eat better than some poor homeless guy.

[Anonymous No.11207642]

>>11206863
Uhh... I'm calling bullshit on that... No way they fed you fast food and carry out.

[Anonymous No.11207688]

Not watching the After Prison Show...

https://youtu.be/H-wKuP_3lYo

[Anonymous No.11207693]

>>11201720
Did you get beaten up?
I have been watching after prison show, and talked to my local meth dealer (accidentally walked in) he said he got his jumped by like 6 guys on his first day in jail.

[Anonymous No.11207709]

Would it be more cost-effective to feed them plain cream of wheat/gruel mixed with dietary supplements? I don't see why they should get good institutional food like what is served in schools and hospitals, it's a fucking prison.

[Anonymous No.11207780]

>>11207709
Its cheaper to give them slightly less shitty food than it is to replace dead guards

[Anonymous No.11207816]

>>11207693
I have never been beaten up.

If I ever end up spending some time there I get into the kitchen and they put the trustees in there own block and it is usually more laid back there.

[Anonymous No.11207823]

alright i got time...

it aint that bad bruh. depends on where you at and if you get money on the books. if you got family that has a little money it helps a lot when you down. I had money stashed after I got hit up and i trusted my girls mom to call it in, she took some "for the baby" but she did me good for 8 years. you get out on OR? pay a bond? how come you aint in co right now?
bruh if you out now you should just start flipping some real fast, you going to prison anyway fuck it, come up on some money and give it to somebody you trust like senpai to put it on the books every other month it aint like you can do it yourself and that 150 go fast bruh. everything cost inside.
the food is easy, either you got money or you dont. prison food is weak, sometimes you get something special like when they get donated shit for holidays or a some factories freezer go out but they always fuck it up and make it taste like some retirement home charly brown kinda food, bland as fuck. the food you can make in the cell is tolerable at best but you can make it spicy at least. I pieced money up every month with my celly cuz we was the same set and we was cool. no homo. some fools get robbed so be careful. you can get wrapped up quick inside even when you didnt do nothing so dont go telling fools you got money. if you poor then fuck it you dont have a choice anyway just make the best of it, you can always trade up food just make sure you know what they are saying when you trade up.

tapatio packs bruh, my life saver locked up. put that shit on everything.

[Anonymous No.11207881]

>>11202085
They're just bologna sandwiches on plain sliced white bread. They're always damp/soggy for some reason.

[Anonymous No.11208250]

In my shithole Mississippi county jail in literally the middle of nowhere:
>breakfast: small bowl of oatmeal and instant coffee
>lunch: Bar-S bolgna sandwich on shitty white bread, small bag of chips, a piece of bruised or slightly moldy fruit, sweat tea
>dinner: white beans cooked with fatback, corn bread, same rotten fruit as lunch, sweat tea
Menu never changes except during christcuck holidays easter and xmas. If you get caught with even 1 joint in MS you'll get to experience it for 6 months.

[Anonymous No.11208266]

>>11201485
is jail food better than hospital food? been in the hospital many times and most of the time the food is barely edible. a couple times it was fine.

[Anonymous No.11208889]

>>11207642
Wouldn't be entirely unheard of for a small county jail to have some kind of partnership with a fast food place. It's the same as schools that do it.

[Anonymous No.11208933]

>>11206313
Dasani the offical drink of prisoners.

[Anonymous No.11208952]

>>11208266
Every hospital I’ve been to has had a decent cafeteria. I don’t get where this meme comes from.

[Anonymous No.11209007]

>>11201466
I did 5 weekends in county because I'm a piece of shit.

First time going in, I didn't hit the canteen and it sucked. Watered down grits, oatmeal, some weird sausage patties, and a smear of peanut butter on breakfast. Two sandwiches and brownies for lunch. Dinner was some sort of grit and chipped beef thing, baked beans, and this huge fucking cornbread loaf. You got water or juice packets, that were just aspartame.

After that first shitty weekend, I ended up paying $25 for 2 bags of Doritos, a honeybun, 2 bags of cheese crackers, 10 packets of instant coffee (this was worth it alone,) and a big beef stick. Myself and two other guys would check-in and check out on weekdays and people would get excited as fuck to raid the food you had left over.

Fucking Aramark.

[Anonymous No.11209606]

>>11201720
>MP3 Player, San Disk $69.2

[Anonymous No.11209645]

>>11209007
How do you only serve time during the weekend?

[Anonymous No.11209743]

>>11209645
It's called an Intermittent Sentence. Sometimes they do Mon-Fri and off weekends instead. I don't know how common it is but it's a thing.

[Anonymous No.11209939]

regular jail goer here in ive never experienced any worst than the county here in atlanta

you will lose at least 20 pounds each visit, there is 0 real meat it is all soy(thanks to all the different religions) and its disgusting they have a little meatball thing thats used a lot, like hamburger meat but once u look at it, pull apart , taste you can tell it is not meat but some type of fake shit

basically every day the entree is "goulash" unseasoned noodles or rice mixed with this mystery meat that resembles chicken but its tasteless

u do get a slice of cornbread with about every tray, this is how u get full, lot of people trade up to get as much cornbread as possible each meal

common breakfast item is this shit we call "shank" its the tasteless goulash meat in some brown sauce ( or should i say water), the kitchen workers say its a powder mix that you just whip up and says "not for human consumption" on the bag, is the only thing with a little flavor (its salty as shit i actually dont mind it)

powdered eggs

thick hard lumpy grits are common

guards get trays made for them every day too, shit like fried chicken (u can smell it), hamburgers, hotdogs, real red velvet cake

if u want deoderant , toothpaste, soap, hope u got money on ur books

breakfast at 4 am, dinner at 12-2 pm, with ur dinner tray you get your sack lunch consists of a roll and a few slices of lunch meat and a cookie, rather you eat your sack at dinner or save it till later is up too you my friend, todays food has been served

[Anonymous No.11209944]

>>11209939
and dont forget all the portions of this shitty food are tiny ! salt and pepper packs might come on 1 out of every 4 trays, theres these drink mix packs they give us

[Anonymous No.11209958]

>>11209939
what do you fucking do you idiots do to get sent to jail so often

[Anonymous No.11209999]

>>11201466
I'm an Officer at an Australian Prison. They get heaps good food. High-Medium security prisoners get three options for brekkie: toast with jam, weetbix or cornflakes.
Lunch rotates daily so could be chiko rolls, sausage rolls, meat pies or meat and salad sandwiches. Dinner rotates as well so could be spaghetti, lasagne, fish and chips, stir fry, beef stroganoff. All is made by Residential prisoners. Medium-Low crims get given a house budget and cook for themselves (roasts, pastas etc..) Sundays is dessert day so they get jelly and icecream, or corn flake bikkies.

[Anonymous No.11210007]

>>11201569
>there is no canteen is maximum security.
I work in a maximum security prison and that's completely wrong. I normally get stuck taking a company to chow every few days.
>>11201674
This is all true. Breakfast is typically generic cereal with a few slices of bread and coffee. lunch and diner could be something like rice with beans,, pizza, "universal", chicken patties, etc. It's just really shitty school food.
>>11204049
You are the niggest
>>11205138
inmates aren't allowed to have weapons like razor blades and scis

I normally just work midnights though

[Anonymous No.11210009]

>>11201970
>went to a field trip to a prison
do amerisharts really

[Anonymous No.11210010]

>>11203068
>>11203087
This, jail/prison is bureaucracy incarnate.
When I needed to call my way out of jail, the phone system upstairs was having issues (do not believe them when they promise you you'll be able to call once they move you to a cell, try to call out from the holding tank ASAP.)
In order to speak to someone about fixing it, I would need to file a sheet of paper (a "kite") with a pencil I didn't have for the mailman that wouldn't come pick it up for another week at the earliest.
Then it could take days for them to respond, at which point yet more kites would need to be filled out back and forth between tech support (who only work one day a week).

Jail operates on bankers hours, and any minor holiday completely grinds the slow moving wheels to a halt. Oh, and "innocent until proven guilty" is really more of a nice idea than a reality.

[Anonymous No.11210053]

>>11209958
hang out with black people

[Anonymous No.11210099]

>>11206203
good job bootlicker

[Anonymous No.11210115]

>>11201960
you are stupid enough to let people catch you.

[Anonymous No.11210123]

I'll take the Halal meal, please.

[Anonymous No.11210143]

>>11202695
Most likely the chasier told anon "Sir, I belive you have forgotten to pay!" and drunk-ass anon told him to fuck his mom and left anyway

[Anonymous No.11210148]

>>11207225
>child molesters eat better than some poor homeless guy
if the homeless guys think themselves too good to molest children they have no one to blame but themselves.

[Anonymous No.11210165]

>>11203185
It's a barter system. "Gimme that bag of chips and I'll bring 2 Kit-kats tomorrow."Many people use cigarettes or pruno

[Anonymous No.11210180]

>>11201485
>I don't go to jail much

[Anonymous No.11210186]

>>11203016
>I am a worthless faggot who can't make more than minimum wage, therefore I won't care about anything or try to do my job properly.
You are the reason the West is declining. Lazy, entitled shits are given free hand outs instead of being allowed to starve, which lets you breed more lazy, entitled shits.

[Anonymous No.11210204]

>>11210009
At least they don't go on field trips to the local mosque, Yurocuq.

[Anonymous No.11210214]

>>11207823
this hurt to read

[Anonymous No.11210219]

>>11210009
In my school they sent the "bad kids" on a trip to the jail

[Anonymous No.11210221]

>>11202695
No one said anything, they saw me on camera

>>11206622
Midwest, but where it's practically the same. Lots of rebel flags around here.

>>11208266
Hospital food here is better, but hospital food in my experience is really good. But maybe it was what they gave me in my IV that made everything tastey, low.

>>11210180
It's true, I don't plan on going back but you don't know when a cops gonna be like, yo, you look like the guy who did thing, get in the car.

[Anonymous No.11210223]

>all these people with personal experiences
wasn't 4chan supposed to be full of neets

[Anonymous No.11210227]

>>11210221
>cops gonna be like, yo, you look like the guy
nigger

[Anonymous No.11210229]

>>11210223
You can't get more neet than being in jail anon.

[Anonymous No.11210230]

>>11210223
>wasn't 4chan supposed to be full of neets
Where do you think all those neets are buying their coding drugs to be the top of their coding game in their trap circles?

[Anonymous No.11210231]

>>11210227
No, I live in a 99% caucasian community, welcome to corn growing midwest.

My name is also kyle, and there's 2 other kyles in my town, both are meth addicts.

[Anonymous No.11210235]

>>11210231
Nebraska or Missouri?

[Anonymous No.11210241]

>>11210007
Thats why i asked about scissors and razorbaldes since it was on that commissary list.

[Anonymous No.11210252]

>>11210235
15 minute drive from Missouri, so accurate.

[Anonymous No.11210434]

>>11210099
Has nothing to do with how you feel about the state, it's a simple reality that some guards are soft and will get wrapped up with inmates who extort them by finding out shit about their family etc etc

[Anonymous No.11210436]

>>11210007
>You are the niggest
To be fair I never ate them I heard about them from my cousin. It took him a while to confess that they were essentially rebranded Lays and it was all in his mind.

[Anonymous No.11210894]

>>11209645

These sorts of sentences are often given to low-risk offenders who have jobs. For example, if some guy gets his third DUI, but has a Mon-Fri job and a family to support, he will probably get sentenced to weekends in jail.

[Anonymous No.11210904]

>>11203016
maybe the cashier was also the owner, ever think of that, criminal scum?

[Anonymous No.11211530]

>>11202695
>>11203016
>>11203070
>>11210186
Hey retards. Most retailers will punish the cashiers for not stopping shoplifters. They either reduce hours or cut pay. If you need a job for college and rent you can't afford to be so lax when minimum wage is a literal hellscape

[Anonymous No.11211548]

>>11211530
Actually false.

[Anonymous No.11211619]

>>11207823
>bruh
>same set
>didnt do nothing
Pls go back to prison, nigger.

[Anonymous No.11211651]

>>11206275
>go to jail
>convert to Judaism
>eat much better food
>learn how to Jew
>get rich when I leave

Is this the best way to rehabilitate prisoners?
-

[Anonymous No.11211761]

>>11209958
If this is porn some of that good ol' country time prison sauce please

[Anonymous No.11211820]

>>11201466
I did a weekend at the St Lawrence County Regional Detention Facility...there is no segregation, so if your a peddo, ur fucked...
Food was ok, I ate better when in the Army on exercise out of hay boxes...the others knew I was Canadian, arrested for drug possession and the border...

[Anonymous No.11211926]

>>11211548
Because you say so? I don't think so

[Anonymous No.11211931]

>>11211926
so it's true because you say so?

[Anonymous No.11211942]

>>11211931
I KNOW so buddy

[Anonymous No.11211958]

>>11211761
You want porn of PEEBEE?

[Anonymous No.11212014]

>>11210223
When I spent a day in jail, everyone called me "Sheldon".
Because, I reminded them of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
I wasn't even a sperg, I said almost nothing and hid my powerlevel well.
They can smell it on us. They know who belongs and who doesn't.

Anyway, as far as food goes: I had the taste of trans-fat "peanut butter" flavored gel stuck in my mouth for a week after I left. I gave up my dinner (sloppy joe) as a peace offering to the three nogs closest to me.
Some nice old guy (obviously white collar) offered me some of his massive stash of commissary food if I ended up staying another night. Thankfully, I never had to take him up on this offer.

[Anonymous No.11212022]

>>11210007
>"universal", chicken patties

The Universal Patty is the staple of all prison food. Throw red sauce on it? = Parmesan, throw gravy on it? =Salisbury steak, bread it? = "Veal". And the boxes are labeled; Fit for Human Consumption

[Anonymous No.11212034]

>>11206192
tuna, pizza wrap, chicken patty, bean burrito, teriyaki

[Anonymous No.11212118]

>>11212022
The "universal" are disgusting soy noodles that they give when they run out of everything or when a special snowflake has too many dietary restrictions

The chicken patty? Just like what you got in school, it's not bad if you have ketchup/bbq sauce

[Anonymous No.11212120]

I made this creme of mushroom soup the other day, reminded me of prison food.

[Anonymous No.11212132]

>>11202974
Thats because the inmates do the cooking. The spices are there to use, but they don't use them, they hoard them and take 'em back to their cells. Trade them and sell them, or use them on their own meals.

[Anonymous No.11212151]

>>11212118
The state prisons I worked at had the "Universal Patty" kek hence my post. Soy noodles I wouldn't feed to my livestock... Ugh

[Anonymous No.11212322]

>>11207823
can you type this again in english please?

[Anonymous No.11212463]

>>11201488
those last 4 digits tho

[Anonymous No.11212477]

>>11212120
looks like fucking concrete, anon

[Anonymous No.11212639]

>>11211651
“Mohammed from the Nation of Islam wants to talk to you “

[Anonymous No.11212710]

>>11201466
when i was in jail, they gave us these snack cakes for breakfast - it was like a twinkie, but a lot better. no idea where they got them, but i loved them and i've never found anything like them since then.

[Anonymous No.11212769]

>>11209007
i would just have a massive meal before i went in

[Anonymous No.11213111]

>>11212639
Jews > sandniggers

[Anonymous No.11213152]

>>11213111
Fun fact: All 3 abrahamic religions are precisely the same and have the same retardation among a % of their adherents.

[Anonymous No.11213195]

>>11212769
The shitty thing about the weekender program is it is it's worse than county. I fasted the day before, there's only one toilet for like 15-20 dudes. Since it was a two day sentence, I pretty much just conceded to not shitting.

[Anonymous No.11213210]

>>11201504
What'd you do to get thrown in jail bruh?

[Anonymous No.11213213]

>>11213210

You know those tags on pillows that say "do not remove"?

[Anonymous No.11213219]

>>11213213
No.

[Anonymous No.11213253]

>>11213219

They're really weird, I don't know why every pillow has one. Anyway I raped a chick.

[Anonymous No.11213257]

>>11206298
>>11211651
>convert to Judaism
>get shivved by aryan brotherhood

[Anonymous No.11213258]

>>11213253
No you didn't.

[Anonymous No.11213284]

>>11213258
You're right, it was an old man. As I was raping him, he died, so I also caught a necrophilia charge.

[Anonymous No.11213457]

>>11201720
>muscle rub (like gay ben)
Kek

[Anonymous No.11213471]

>>11213257
>blast them with the sheeny curse
>avenge your own death from beyond the grave

[Anonymous No.11213478]

>>11213253
KEK

[Anonymous No.11213483]

Our local jail serves frozen dinners.

One guy I knew who was in there for a while found that there was only one that he liked. So he hoarded all of that one and kept them under his bunk. The jailer found them one day and put him back in the freezer. Before long, the other inmates had eaten some of them and everyone of them had food poisoning.

The guy I knew wasn't real popular after that.

[Anonymous No.11213547]

>>11213253
LOL

[Anonymous No.11213836]

>>11201470
MY SIDES

[Anonymous No.11214575]

>>11201470
If you think black people in the movie theater are loud, wait until you go to jail.

[Anonymous No.11214587]

>>11214575
>If you think black people in the movie theater are loud, wait until you go to jail.
White lies.
Niggers never snitch, I know. I'm a white guy with a black friend.

[Anonymous No.11214609]

>>11213257
Loads of people including white gangs, black gangs, latino gangs all 'convert' to judaism to get the free food, nobody is going to smash you for that when its obvious you're just playing the system.

[Anonymous No.11214615]

>>11207823
thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.11214620]

>>11213253
:D

[Anonymous No.11214646]

>>11211530
Not my store. I don't get paid enough to give a shit and the supers never find out.