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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 1.09 MB, 640x360, 1529879605976.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11192924 No.11192924 [Reply] [Original]

there must always be a webm thread

>> No.11192929 [DELETED] 
File: 1.33 MB, 1920x1080, 1516785035596.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11192933

My cat jumped on my lap as soon as I opened this.


>> No.11192956

how's 7th grade going? oh and by the way, enjoy your ban

>> No.11193500
File: 1015 KB, 1280x720, Non newtonian.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11193504

Man. I remember being spooked by this shit like 7 years ago
Where have the times gone...
Why am I so numb now...
Maybe it's just cause Im taking such a nice poop

>> No.11193510
File: 2.99 MB, 1280x720, Jack.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11193524

just give me the egg webm please

>> No.11193598

>Shaving your shitty facial hair extra low to hide your double chin.

>> No.11193635

how the fuck did he even manage this
that actually looks like a non-newtonian fluid

>> No.11193640
File: 2.72 MB, 626x360, surly king of the egg fort.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

at your service mister sir

>> No.11193644

>that actually looks like a non-newtonian fluid
That's because it is.
Do you even into science?

>> No.11193668

Cornstarch, yo

>> No.11193761

good job anon

>> No.11193796

What was delete

>> No.11193797
File: 2.97 MB, 640x360, egg master.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

i can't begin to fathom the amount of insecurity and stupidity that would lead someone to make a post like this
sort your life out

>> No.11193803
File: 1.39 MB, 640x360, 1536404848647.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11193805

dumb epilepsy screamer video

>> No.11193864



>> No.11193873 [DELETED] 
File: 1.82 MB, 1280x720, naruto.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11193879

this isn't gif retard they have to be food related

>> No.11193896
File: 366 KB, 1242x1264, 1526650218887.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

But the file name is clearly food related

>> No.11193911

What happened here?

>> No.11193916

Why is chinky eyes kick lady?

>> No.11193919

so I said fuck off and he just kicked me like an asshole and ran away

>> No.11193926

old roastie gets btfo by asian chad

>> No.11193933

i feel bad for asian dudes who have to see this fat manlet smeared across tv ads all the time, it's fucking propaganda

>> No.11193934

>curly dollar-store instant noodles
Every single time.
Why even bother making "the real thing" if it's just going to taste like garbage anyway?

>> No.11193942

And of course the jew steals things from you. Overall a sad commercial

>> No.11193950

i never noticed him before but now he's like in every one in three commercials

>> No.11193969

how the fuck

>> No.11194231
File: 1006 KB, 640x352, turkish coffee.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I can't wait for winter to have a nice hot coffee on a cold morning.

>> No.11194243
File: 2.87 MB, 640x360, garlic mushrooms.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194246

Magic coffee.

>> No.11194268

How does he get out

>> No.11194273

They have to eat all the eggs.

>> No.11194373

He break egg?

>> No.11194567
File: 1.96 MB, 1280x720, disgusting.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

this is a work sfae board pervit

>> No.11194578

>drizzle of cum at 1:20
secret ingredients amirite

>> No.11194592

are theyre pipes under the sand?

>> No.11194598
File: 2.67 MB, 640x360, cornstarch batter.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

He's made it a bit thick, but he just needs to get his hand in there.

>> No.11194612

imagine chef john doing this using his freakishly small wooden spoon and it snapping in half

>> No.11194691

one motherfucker did this at the egg sandwich stand in town. he tried to get out and rippen through the eggs in front of him. i guess it flung him a black away he landed in the designated shitting street.
they still use the same stand but all the eggs are broken

>> No.11194913 [DELETED] 
File: 2.74 MB, 640x368, crocs.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194915
File: 2.92 MB, 852x480, Curried Eggs.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194920
File: 2.44 MB, 1280x686, crocs 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11194935
File: 771 KB, 264x480, birthdaycake candles.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194937
File: 440 KB, 480x480, goblin caught on tape.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

many years earlier

>> No.11194941
File: 140 KB, 895x640, Then & Now.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11194950
File: 2.87 MB, 320x320, tumblr_p8cp2fz8wo1xoyw8po1_400.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194956
File: 2.93 MB, 668x360, Burger King Economics 101.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194957
File: 782 KB, 1280x720, mcbitch.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11194967

>pull cart out
>push back in
why do people not do this

>> No.11194969

Need a key to release the collected trolleys, only airport staff have said key

>> No.11194973

>apply for job at airport
>pull cart out
>push back in
why do people not do this

>> No.11194974


...yes primitive. Liquid heating and bubbling over is maaaagic

>> No.11194977

The security people notice him doing it and remove the mechanism so he can't make money anymore. Presumably they'd notice an employee fucking with the cart machine instead of doing their job.

>> No.11194978

>dude kicks an old lady in the vagina
>tough guys reaction is to slowly saunter towards him like hes not even trying to catch him

>> No.11194980

But where does the coffee come from?

>> No.11194982

Is he actually part of the egg stand like cyberpunk style, or can he somehow leave at the end of the day and if so how does he accomplish the leaving?

>> No.11194991

BTFO, bitch has probably done a bunch of awful entitled shit in her life like cut people off in traffic, probably gave her son a few mental issues, cheated on a husband, backstabbed some girl at work who deserved a promotion only to get it herself. This old bitch got exactly what she deserved and she knows it

>> No.11194995
File: 2.84 MB, 640x360, Ice Cold in Alex.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195006

>that loop

>> No.11195013
File: 2.88 MB, 532x300, Popcorn 1.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195016
File: 2.61 MB, 532x300, Popcorn 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11195020

>eggs shirt
this dude is a pro, he respects the egg

>> No.11195039
File: 386 KB, 480x360, Crow Fishing.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195047
File: 2.94 MB, 480x360, Hamster Eating.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195078
File: 2.53 MB, 1280x720, Dog Drink.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195088
File: 2.77 MB, 640x360, Spoonfeed.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195091
File: 1.48 MB, 720x404, Twin Snakes.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195093
File: 2.77 MB, 454x454, Gugspe.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195127
File: 2.98 MB, 640x360, Monster.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195265

That's my favourite part

>> No.11195267
File: 2.77 MB, 640x360, Big Spaghetti.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11195280
File: 33 KB, 493x276, 1534943600826.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>only take pics when granny is on fire

>> No.11195290

This seems like a comfy film

>> No.11195291

It's really good

>> No.11195326

Is...is he eating raw chorizo?

>> No.11195404

It's kinda sad watching him now since the second stroke. His version of keto isn't exactly keto too and no doubt he'll go back to his old ways and die

>> No.11195424

Its just boiling over in the pot thing so it looks like there's more of it.

>> No.11195447


>> No.11195473


>> No.11195506

that is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen

>> No.11195685

It's the story of Snowden.

>> No.11195710

Cool story, bro. Tell it again.

>> No.11195738

You have to pay more than 25 cents to rent the cart. Once you deposit the money, it will release one cart.

>> No.11195756


>> No.11195762

He isn't even cooking that shit. They call him in just to crack the eggs. He's a professional.

>> No.11195768

the coffee is in the containers, you're seeing them bubble over and the foam being poured out. not all of ti is poured out so the next time he heats it more of it foams.

>> No.11195815

What is the point?

>> No.11195822
File: 392 KB, 1280x720, how jack eats.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11195827
File: 1.32 MB, 1280x720, YOUDIED.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

lurk more before you post please

>> No.11195933

It works exactly like a Moka pot, how is this confusing? Are you American and have only made instant coffee?

>> No.11196114

Eggy breaky not how out getty?

>> No.11196151

Classic comedy

>> No.11196214

She's paralyzed. Still laughing?

>> No.11196235


>> No.11196247
File: 2.87 MB, 640x636, 1526304128484.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Having you fucking people never been in public before? You put a quarter in to get the cart, you get your quarter back when you return the cart. It's a deposit. He is taking advantage of lazy people by returning the carts for them and keeping their quarter.

I know 4chan is stereotyped by NEETs but jesus fuck

>> No.11196254

she would be great in porn

>> No.11196311

Rent free

>> No.11196324
File: 1014 KB, 220x330, turkish coffee.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

guys how does the coffee get out without breaking the

>> No.11196348

Is this a common technique in Chinese restaurants? I got pork and broccoli from a local restaurant and it was too greasy with no sear marks, so I'm guessing they did it like this. Just deep frying the vegetables so they get greasy, and adding liquids to the pan so it doesn't sear. I can even make fried rice better at home because everything gets seared for more flavor and it's not so greasy. I kind of feel like a lot of the Chinese restaurants in my area have gone downhill lately.

>> No.11196355

My family calls them "hostage carts" as a joke

>> No.11196358

The water mark on the top left says "uploaded by Khoan Vong". That's a jungle asian name, not a Chinese name. I think these are viets

>> No.11196363
File: 2.87 MB, 540x302, 1510303489812.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196371

I'm sorry about your issues with your mother anon, i hope you can resolve them some day

>> No.11196387

That's not done everywhere. I've only seen it once at Aldi, but most places still don't do it here.

>> No.11196419

He's in an airport. None of you watched the Snowden documentary Tom Hanks did?

>> No.11196432
File: 1.50 MB, 1280x720, this absolute unit.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

is this a food related rekt webm thread

>> No.11196436
File: 2.61 MB, 1280x720, when you just want kebab.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196440
File: 467 KB, 1280x720, oiled floor.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196446
File: 727 KB, 1280x720, BEER ME BRAH.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196450
File: 2.66 MB, 640x360, beer run.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196453

Not food or cooking.

>> No.11196456
File: 233 KB, 360x640, atm.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196462
File: 428 KB, 640x360, whyyoushouldalwaysleaveatip.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196466
File: 1.84 MB, 480x640, corn.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

how so

>> No.11196472

I still don't understand how he gets out. Is breaking them all necessary?

>> No.11196474
File: 1.84 MB, 480x360, howrealmendoshots.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196483

He can't without breaking the eggs. He's gotta cook them all bro.

>> No.11196485
File: 1.35 MB, 900x506, japgameshow.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196490
File: 1.35 MB, 400x400, surely the birthday boy of being egged on.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196494
File: 1.96 MB, 728x910, woman drinks beer.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196500

Maybe instead of spamming barely related shitty webms you saved off of gif 5 months ago you could use that time to make some new ones that are actually good and on topic. And also kill yourself while you're at it.

>> No.11196502

Yeah, she definitely has a drinking problem.

>> No.11196508
File: 1.62 MB, 624x352, wamin in the workplace.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196510

I want an Asian wife so bad

>> No.11196512


>> No.11196514
File: 2.51 MB, 1280x720, when food bites back just girly things.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

actually i saved them from this board
i do make oc
im responsible for also all the jack webms

>> No.11196520

What gets me is his soulless eyes...

>> No.11196521
File: 2.51 MB, 320x240, when food bite back 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196524

I don't give a shit. There's nothing food related about this garbage, now kill yourself.

>> No.11196528
File: 124 KB, 498x397, jackboomer.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11196529

did they not know to drink milk?

>> No.11196542
File: 1.01 MB, 1280x720, boner knife.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11196552

I don't think every Chinese restaurant is actually being run by Chinese people

>> No.11196554

they know enough to expose their mid rifts for views I'll give them that

>> No.11196592

Exit egg how

>> No.11196709

deserved it
stupid bitch

>> No.11196745



>> No.11196763
File: 2.89 MB, 640x316, 1508995498271.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11196769

That lady just ate her weight in pasta...

>> No.11197120
File: 272 KB, 359x320, Hugh_Neutron_Burping.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11197171

Joey that is not safe to eat raw

>> No.11197248
File: 1.32 MB, 852x480, plastic.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Fuck off, you piece of shit. You're the reason that fucktard keeps on posting that instead of making OC.

>> No.11197255

ye olde brit girls were the best

>> No.11197260
File: 2.70 MB, 1280x720, mayonaise.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197270

EGG?!!! HOW??

>> No.11197273
File: 117 KB, 444x440, 1532043811279.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11197274
File: 2.15 MB, 426x240, chocolate icing.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197468
File: 2.54 MB, 1280x720, butter coffee.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197478

>slip up
>candidate for egg king

>> No.11197483
File: 2.72 MB, 1280x720, butter coffee 2.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197506
File: 1.11 MB, 1270x931, JUST.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11197518

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.


>> No.11197530

>haha I ate the mayo
I never understood this vid

>> No.11197531


Not food related but this is one of the most retarded pranks anyone could do to anybody. In the absolute worst case that can be lethal.

>> No.11197547

Stop using deepfried alkaline noodles you tool.

>> No.11197551

I was criticizing the use of shitty instant noodles, what the fuck did you think the post meant?

>> No.11197583


>> No.11197599

How did these creatures outlive dinosaurs?

>> No.11197620

Apparently, yeah.
>Velveting meat—the practice of marinating slices of meat in egg white, wine, and cornstarch—is a Chinese cooking technique that we've covered here on Serious Eats before.
>Typically, after the meat is marinated, it is quickly blanched in a bath of hot oil and then drained, at which point it's ready to be stir-fried.

>> No.11197622
File: 2.71 MB, 400x230, Surly king of the egg fort1.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197626

You are literally the only one who is upset by this.

>> No.11197630

So you make garbage.

>> No.11197646
File: 2.91 MB, 1280x720, how to break a vitamix.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

made this one just for you

>> No.11197650
File: 710 KB, 226x268, woooooooow.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197656

Thanks, it's terrible. I wonder if he's ever going to be able to cut things again, or if it'll just be macro shots of his wife's hands from now on.

>> No.11197659

wait aren't these bulletproof?

>> No.11197790

they forgot to shit on the table.

>> No.11197798


He looks at him like "Jason what the fuck?"

>> No.11197815

these are turkish, worse than jews.

>> No.11197870
File: 2.16 MB, 460x308, frogs.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

heres a more pg version of that crocodile webm

>> No.11197916

Noot noot

>> No.11197918

what a fucking badass

>> No.11197924

how he do dat

>> No.11197943
File: 661 KB, 800x940, smugjack.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>hey guys Jack Scalfani here
>i heard from this guy called seekay that the vitamix is bullet proof
>i'm gonna be testing that
>this package just arrived from 1911
>*opens package and immediately looses instructions*
>i wasn't gonna read them anyways
>theres some assembly required
>*fade transition effect*
>it took me three hours but i finally assembled it
>so apparently these take .45 ammo
>i have never heard of those and i searched everywhere they did not have them
>so i'm gonna substitute with some 44 magnum
>there a little loose
>*bullet falls out barrel and jack is shocked; clip of it is posted in every /ck/ webm thread*
>ok got this bullet to fit
>lets shoot this blender
>*pulls trigger and nothing happens because he fucked up when assembling the gun*
>*another fade transition*
>i built it right this time
>*points at blender and fires*
>*misses blende completely cause loose fit and hits tammy*
>*blowback from massive pressure build up destroys the gun and takes his right hand off*
>*his ring hand is fine and unharmed*
>this was a terrible product i would not recommend it
>*dislike to like ratio is 3:1 and comments are not allowed*

>> No.11197959 [DELETED] 
File: 2.98 MB, 470x282, 1533563148522.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11197966

not food related

>> No.11197974

love that channel, best authentic chinese recipes on the web right there

>> No.11197979

aah the olde quicksand battered chicken pieces

>> No.11197997


Why ruin a good dish with peanut butter?

>> No.11198018

Yeah, the recipes are great. I could do without the Babish ASMR narrator breathing down my neck though.

>> No.11198024
File: 2.67 MB, 640x800, mcdonalds.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>a typical afternoon in america

>> No.11198027
File: 2.74 MB, 426x240, monkeys.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11198036

all is good in the McNation

>> No.11198042

They're more versatile predators and require less energy

>> No.11198069
File: 2.91 MB, 640x360, sand egg.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11198083

yeah and the constant 'heat up the pan to a searing heat' he says EVERY SINGLE video

>> No.11198092

looks yummy

>> No.11198094

this shit is worse than sneed

>> No.11198098


Lol wakanda irl

>> No.11198103

Just use a flat Rock nigga wtf how is cooking in the dirt real haha

>> No.11198123

>tfw no a v e r a g e korean girlfriend.

>> No.11198128
File: 273 KB, 495x579, 93c073f3-e3eb-40c3-a37c-56145ba0e284.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11198219

are the mods asleep?

>> No.11198228

Nah, they just don't give a fuck about this board.

>> No.11198241

>monkey narrowly avoids being turned into sopa de macaco riskily by faking his death.(2017 webmized)

>> No.11198267

how would i go about becoming a mod for this board
i spend most of my day on this board might as well get paid for it

>> No.11198274
File: 178 KB, 491x713, 1503899599913.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Avocaderia goes through about 200 organic avacados from Mexico each day.
So they are literally supporting the cartel directly every day.
>set up trendy restaurant
>end up aiding mass murder and crime
That's a big ol LOL from me dawg

>> No.11198284

Their ancestors probably slept through the apocalypse like the lazy shits they are after gorging on some fat dino.

>> No.11198328

Fuck off back to rebbit nigger

>> No.11198353

your dumb dude

>> No.11198723
File: 1.58 MB, 1280x720, cheesegrater.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>no new webms in the last 4 hours
>only 9 jack webms
let fix both

>> No.11198725
File: 1.59 MB, 720x486, flipping eggs.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11198747

I can understand it for that, but doing the bath of hot oil with fresh vegetables just seems like a shortcut that lowers the quality of the final product by making it way too greasy

>> No.11198748
File: 2.61 MB, 1280x720, screwed.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11198795

Yeah, I agree. It works with some vegetables, but not button mushrooms. I guess some customers want it to be a grease bomb.

>> No.11198827

>cock jersey
not surprised on bit at this outcome

>> No.11198838
File: 2.32 MB, 480x360, nuggers.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11198865

Does he still do anything?

>> No.11198866
File: 2.73 MB, 640x360, how to eat pizza.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11198876

What channel?

>> No.11198879

Hello Armenian whore.

>> No.11198883

What happen here?

>> No.11198888

God I wish that were me.

>> No.11198913

I would eat out with this guy. Seems to know the good stuff on the menu.

>> No.11198925

His son finds it disgusting.
It's just a very bad style of dad joke.

>> No.11198929

Her mannerisms make me angry

>> No.11199088

Still doesn't change the fact it doesn't belong here.

>> No.11199091
File: 2.58 MB, 640x360, chicken keel.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11199115

Guess the volcano is a Boomer too

>> No.11199121

plastic in the ocean.
hear about it.
Never actually seen a picture of it.
Shit's fake, desu.

>> No.11199127
File: 2.82 MB, 640x360, Ravioli.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The volcano god knows what is good

>> No.11199133

They just don't make canned goods like they used to
I remember being hype as fuck to open a can of chicken noodle soup or ravioli now it's just shit

>> No.11199138

how do people live with this indignity
I would literally beg for death on the spot if I was so fat that I had to be driven up a tiny grass verge on a golf cart, let alone if I fell off the back and had to be helped up like a flipped turtle

>> No.11199155
File: 2.75 MB, 500x280, American Culture and Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11199173

What show is this

>> No.11199174

Most recent season of Orange Is The New Black

>> No.11199219

>christened by egg, the surly king was born from the yolk

>> No.11199228

>animal planet
checks out.

>> No.11199414
File: 30 KB, 264x274, 1536414620550.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

he looks like pic related tho

>> No.11199429

>yep, vesuvius 79 A.D.
>now that was an eruption

>> No.11199446
File: 2.89 MB, 360x360, Mashed Potato Wontons.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11199449
File: 33 KB, 318x633, 1528269659597.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

gay forced meme
fuck off loser

>> No.11199465

>sour cream
fucking why

>> No.11199572
File: 528 KB, 480x270, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11199582
File: 2.87 MB, 360x360, Homemade Oreos.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11199593

>Do you even into
you ok, bud?

>> No.11199599

You have to go back

>> No.11199654

this seems inefficient

>> No.11199663

you're talking about a species that chases their own tails

>> No.11199670

mmm burnt coffee

>> No.11199673

>implying half the faggots here wouldn't suck their own dicks if they could

>> No.11199710

I don't see what that has to do with anything

>> No.11199727

Does she make scat vids after this?

>> No.11199897

I get dabbing the grease off, but a knife and fork? Not eating the crust? The fuck?

>> No.11199899

Probably still cold in the middle

>> No.11199914

I think I understand hatefucking now thanks dude

>> No.11199918

still would

>> No.11199927

We can only wish.

>> No.11199944

the terminal
pretty comfy

>> No.11199955

>I spend most of my day shitting and playing xbox

>> No.11199962
File: 3.99 MB, 309x203, 1534761556673.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11199965

the ingredient in some parmesans and some cheeses uses rennet which can only be extracted from a slaughtered calf

>> No.11200005

Not him, but how is he wrong? Avocados in 'murika come from drug cartels.

>> No.11200012

oh my god add some water you dumb cunts

>> No.11200023

so this is what happens to trafficked children

>> No.11200031

Is there a cilantro gene for avocado? Either way, I despise that play doh mush bullshit. Not even doctored up to be guac. It's still just gross mush with shit in it.

>> No.11200038

Chinese rice krispies. No snap or krackle, just pop

>> No.11200040

>why are you fucking crying?!
> we can never have any fun with you

>> No.11200055

As a yuropoor that was likely his life savings spent on beer. Fucking shame his moment of joy got spoiled.

>> No.11200058
File: 59 KB, 403x392, 1BACDE4E-25D2-4B08-A841-56E2398506A6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

it’s fucking called “guacamole”, not “guac”. say “guac” one for time, fucking millennial scum

>> No.11200066

Is "guakky" acceptable?

>> No.11200075

Get with the times, zoomer.

>> No.11200077

I'm going to call it guac exclusively from now on just because I know it will make autists like you upset

>> No.11200086
File: 38 KB, 137x138, CayenneIntensifed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Imagine the size of her turds

>> No.11200141

This ghetto queen met a "successful" pile of trash at its breaking point, and a loser ready to lose its job, all at one time. It didn't end up in free food the way she expected.

>> No.11200157
File: 61 KB, 1000x800, 1516121198412.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11200203
File: 2.68 MB, 720x720, ck_cooks.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11200657

*Choking Intensifies*

>> No.11200821

isn't that just a fucking pierogi?

>> No.11200845

>coffee is roasted at 180-200C
>100C will burn the coffee
little brain over here lads

>> No.11200983

It's the soccer mom version, yeah.

>> No.11201005

The fact that I can never play with lava like silly putty saddens me greatly

>> No.11201027
File: 2.88 MB, 240x240, trash.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11201043

just drag a net through it for fucks sake

>> No.11201055

>niggers litter
Color me shocked.
>just drag a net through it for fucks sake
Why would we do that, when we can jump into the middle of it and take instagram selfies?

>> No.11201058

Exactly. I don't know why Bill Gates isn't cleaning up the ocean. Instead he's worried about mosquitoes in Africa.

>> No.11201068

And then it's in a net in the ocean. Brilliant.

>> No.11201071

My bad I forgot when people fish with nets they just leave the fish in the net in the water

>> No.11201078

>My bad I forgot
Don't let it happen again.

>> No.11201100

It's cheaper to make new plastic than it is to recycle it.

They should just build an island out of bottles.

>> No.11201166

Why would you jump in that shit

>> No.11201196

Fish are eaten. Are you going to eat plastic bottles and random garbage?

>> No.11201200

Fine, we melt the plastic together and make the worlds largest paddle board

>> No.11201221

Dont care how they cook their eggs, I'll take Khoisan over Bantu any day.

>> No.11201282

wat has happen here?

>> No.11201359
File: 386 KB, 408x720, It's apple season.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11201363

My guess is she was pouring alcohol and spilled some of it on a table you cook in the center of which caused it to ignite.

>> No.11201378


>> No.11201383

Generally speaking they aged well

>> No.11201421

If you incinerate it, it's gone forever. The heat can be used to generate electricity.

>> No.11201423

That could have ended badly.

>> No.11201464

Fantastic ass and cute tits, though.

>> No.11201471
File: 65 KB, 567x551, 123521312451.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>burning plastic to help the environment

>> No.11201493

Nigga, why in the god damn hell would you fucking jump into that shit? What a fucking idiot. I hope something scraped that idiot off some AIDS and punctured their gear.

>> No.11201503

just send the fumes deep underground or into space

>> No.11201516

Where the fumes turn into stars

>> No.11201537

This looks like a DnD campaign

>> No.11201564

why does everything he touch turn to shit?

>> No.11201567

He's like the opposite of King Midas

>> No.11201586

If she can pretend that tastes good she can fake anything

>> No.11201615

"Jason, I can't believe you've done this."

>> No.11201629

I can't be the only one who thinks the fat dude looks exactly like Chris-chan, right?

>> No.11201639

Youre on 4chan telling someone to sort out their life. Yikes.

>> No.11201731

Because he doesn't plan, prepare beforehand or practice. He just goes and does shit and then pretends its good when it turns out. His empty life is only made whole when he receives the fawning adoration of fellow swine-like flyover shitstains.

>> No.11201757

fuck off where to where you came from

>> No.11201787
File: 2.89 MB, 480x360, Japanese Omelette folded 1000 times.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11201788

a show for fags

>> No.11201822
File: 788 KB, 1280x720, papa johns.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11201838

This has got to be an achievement in culinary arts.

>> No.11201870

reddit, im sorry but u have to go back

>> No.11201954

this is the gayest thing on earth

>> No.11201962

Despite what people will say here that guy is likely legally retarded.If i had to make an assumption I would say his iq is around 75.

>> No.11201983

It's all habitat. I bet there's some stud mahi under there.

>> No.11202110


>> No.11202231

>puts knife in mouth

>> No.11202560
File: 65 KB, 960x895, frog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I come from a dystopian place :(

>> No.11202608
File: 42 KB, 560x400, 1507384756649.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

what a big fucking none-issue, this would literally take half an hour to clean up

>> No.11202615

And do what with it, someone has to take that shit somewhere and be responsible for it

>> No.11202622
File: 112 KB, 975x319, Nerd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

memes often do

>> No.11202645

post the rarest jack you have right now

>> No.11202653
File: 341 KB, 1280x721, 1524023044105.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

$ell it to chinks to incinerate for fuel
its almost as if you live in some kind of inconvenient fantasy world

>> No.11202802

>clean that shit out of the ocean
>pump that shit right into the air instead


>> No.11202824
File: 870 KB, 1838x909, 1521718184414.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11202994

koreans(?) are so weird and cute. it's like watching children discover something for the first time :3

>> No.11203042
File: 2.23 MB, 1280x720, fried chicken.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>ck is niggers

>> No.11203084

based and webpilled

>> No.11203115

for me it's the mctitty

>> No.11203160

They're not taking recycling any more.

>> No.11203289

i don't even find his shenanigans funny anymore. his incompetence is annoying and his lack of self awareness makes me want to slash his throat.

>> No.11203300

it's way better with sound

>> No.11203317

U so jeenus anun

>> No.11203351
File: 2.86 MB, 720x486, jack doesn't know how marinades work.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.11203540


t. Jamal

>> No.11203570


Neither of the Snowdens, you dumb bigger. It's The Terminal.

>> No.11203582


Women were a fucking mistake.

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