What a fedora imagines when he orders black coffee

[Anonymous No.11160453]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

[Anonymous No.11160457]

>>11160453
>the virgin copy pasta

[Anonymous No.11160460]

>someone was so assblasted about not being able to handle bitter beverages that they had to type this

[Anonymous No.11160461]

But you don't specify how you want your coffee at Starbucks, you put whatever you want in it yourself.

[Anonymous No.11160815]

>>11160453
>I'll take a black filter coffee please
>"Certainly sir, dark, medium or light roast? We have a lovely Guatamala roasted just yesterday"
>That sounds great thanks
>Drink coffee enjoying light sweetness, full body and a warm plummy after taste
>Leave

That's all I want and expect