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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11117496 No.11117496 [Reply] [Original]

I’m trying to convince my fat fuck family to stop eating just store-bought pizza and other unearthly shit, but they keep rambling about how they eat just like the Italians, and the Italians are the healthiest and most cancer-free people in Europe!
What do?

>> No.11117507

Show them an Italian and scare them straight. Italians are awful people.

>> No.11117519

>>11117496
Break their ankles so they can't buy any food for themselves anymore and nurture them down to a manageable weight yourself by spoon-feeding them A La Misery.

>> No.11117568

Why do you care about your invalid family?

>> No.11117575
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11117575

Show them REAL, autentico, Italian cuisine

Wa la!

>> No.11117580

>terminally retarded frogposter has terminally retarded pizza-guzzling family
Somehow I'm not surprised.

>> No.11117597

>>11117496
as long as you're in the will, why do you care how they prefer to kill themselves?

>> No.11117614

>>11117496
Do you live with them? Get out on your own and stop trying to controlling other people. You can beat the class into unclassy lazy people. It costs more money to eat more cultured. Grocery pizzas are literally $5. The same price as a bag of salad that feeds 2. If they aren't buying both, that's the problem.

>> No.11117635

Good luck. My brother eats only pizza. Store bought and take out. He only eats pizza.

>> No.11117695

>>11117635
I had pizza for dinner two days in a row and felt miserable. I dont know how fatties do this shit

>> No.11117705

>>11117496
Cook dinner for them. Once a week if you can manage it, but even if only once a month you can at least show them the actual superiority of well-made from-scratch dishes. Self-improvement obviously comes down to the self concerned but at least they won't be able to plead ignorance anymore.

>> No.11117738

>>11117496
eat healthy and inherit everything when they die of congestive heart failure.

>> No.11117747

>>11117695
If you had to live in flyover country you'd try to kill yourself too.

>> No.11117829

but our pizza isn't laden with hfcs and weird preservatives
that's why we're thin, healthy and cancer free

>> No.11117928

>>11117635
is your brother ulillillia?

>> No.11118020
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11118020

>>11117496
What kind of unearthly shit?

>> No.11118052
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11118052

>>11117738

People that eat like OP is describing usually do not have much to bequeath after they are gone dude. If OP is lucky he MIGHT get his parents rascal and above ground swimming pool in the will.

Confirm this for me OP, your family is low class/white trash/ scum (no offense meant). Yea?

>> No.11118055

make tasty healthier food then. Convince them that healthy food can also be pretty good

>> No.11118320
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11118320

>>11118020
In the Cellar

I stand huddled in a dark alleyway, now a broken man. I have nothing, and no longer may I call that wretched place my home. None shall take me in, and even less shall turn an ear to my wild ravings, much less give them any substantial thought. "Mad" I am called. Yes, I must very well appear as such to passerby. However, despite my disheveled appearance I can plainly refute that with resolute certainty. I am no madman. Had I truly been reduced to mania, I might have been able to find solace from the horrors I had witnessed within the aged walls of that place. No, I am quite sane. As such, I have resolved to make an account of all that I have seen -- without my personal bias nor opinion -- in part that I might collect my scattered thoughts in a rational manner, and in hopes of justifying why I now feel it necessary to take my own life.

To state it plainly, while exploring the property of my ancestral home I came across a heavy, overgrown door that had never before made itself known to me. Its position was half sunken into the ground, as if leading to some long forgotten passageway underneath the estate. However, I soon noticed that the latch was undone, and the door itself lay slightly ajar. Curious fool that I was, I decided to press my inspection further.

>> No.11118335
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11118335

>>11118320
Upon peering inside my eyes met with no less than the gruesome sight of great beasts wearing the tattered skins of men. They crudely walked upon two legs, though it was clear from a mere glance that this is only done as a meek form of imitation. Their movements were awakward and strained, as if always uncertain as to their own balance.
Despite their lurching and mishapen forms, they seem capable of mimicking human speech to some degree. Several times I heard sparse words come from them, though it was clear from the sound that it caused them great discomfort. However these sounds were entirely uncommon compared to the ragged, violent gasping these creatures constantly emitted.
These hulking monsters feast upon all manner of strange otherworldly things, savagely throating them down their bloated, wretched gullets. With wanton glee they emit cries of satiety, though within mere seconds the instinctual hunger has overtaken them once more.

I am unable to properly transcribe the terror that had gripped me upon witnessing these putrid beings, but it was soon eclipsed by what was to follow. In my horror, I had sat frozen within the darkness. But when I had found the strength to move, I stumbled and fell down into the very center of their midst. Instantly their heads sharply turned towards me and they clambered towards me an all fours. Fearing for my life I scrambled up the steps and desperately flung the heavy door shut and replaced the heavy beam to seal them in. What transpired next I shall never forget so long as I live. From beyond the closed door -- and unlike any of the prior sounds I had heard -- came the clear and unmistakable voices of my parents. "Son, please let us out. We have pizza."

>> No.11118452

>>11117496
You can eat store pizza, as long as it's Dr. Oetker's Ristorante pizza. They're healthy and you won't grow fat if you aren't already.

>> No.11118545

>>11117496
>asking ck for advice
Sorry OP, retardation is genetic and you have it. Best thing you can do is end the bloodline.

>> No.11118928

>>11118545
dont bully op, he just hates pizza is all