/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11063631]

Tell me about *that* dishwasher.

[Anonymous No.11063643]

>that dishwasher who ran like sonic or naruto
>that dishwasher who fucking died
>that dishwasher who gave a presentation on anime

[Anonymous No.11063662]

>>11063631
I was the greatest dishwasher of all time, no fucking bullshit. And all by hand too. I was the machine. fuck the haters.

[Anonymous No.11063761]

He would come to work out of his mind on xanax and do nothing. IDK how he lasted 9 months.

[Anonymous No.11063802]

>>11063662
Singularity is finally here

[Anonymous No.11063813]

Im the best fucking dishwasher ever motherfucker and dont forget it nigger

[Anonymous No.11063831]

>that 44 year old boomer dishwasher that always talks about obscure '80s cartoons and begs me to sneak him some beer

[Anonymous No.11063868]

He's called Dave. He didn't talk to us for months and then he started just fucking with us as hard as he could. Been there longer than anyone else including the owner, he came with the building. I don't know fuckall about him aside from that he's an enthusiastic amateur plumber (his project has been fixing the weird smell in the prep kitchen for the last two weeks), he called me out for whistling Kate Bush while chopping onions and then spent the rest of his shift singing cloudbusting hella loud, you could hear it from the dining room. He refuses to let us cook for him, and I cant tell if he's a really dirty white dude or a really clean Latino. He likes going up to you, saying "you have a minute?" And then walking away. Fairly sure he's autistic as shit. Best dishwasher I've met by a wide mile though

[Anonymous No.11063882]

>Not officially autistic but everybody knows he is
>Always talking to himself
>expert at impressions of people, does them while talking to himself, can have entire conversations between three people by himself
>Loves old muscle cars
>Loves model cars and trains
>Loves old 80s/90s cartoons and movies
>Loves old rock and roll and classic heavy metal
Honestly a super nice guy though.

[Anonymous No.11063901]

>>11063882
Man I love dishwashers, they're such chillers

[bruce No.11063915]

>>11063631
Used to work with an off the boat Chinese fella. Guy never talked to anybody and listened to old Chinese music full blast in the dish pit.

Guy was G.

[Anonymous No.11063920]

>>11063901
He was great. Unfortunately, the place I work at replaced all of the kitchen staff including him with imported semi-illegal Brazilians and I do like them better than the rest of the South Americans who work with me but I cant really have interesting conversations with them.

[Anonymous No.11063937]

>>11063631
i only ever worked in one restaurant but the dish pit guy was some fresh off the boat asian dude who didnt speak any english at all but would smoke weed behind the dumpster every few hours

[Anonymous No.11065817]

>>11063662
I doubt that i was the machine. Id happily give you a potwash off

[Anonymous No.11065831]

>>11063937
fresh off the boat asian stoner?

where was he from

[Anonymous No.11065845]

>that one dishwasher that wavedashed to work

[Anonymous No.11065953]

im a dishwasher at a korean restaurant. one of the cooks have been giving me cans of boomer juice. feels great.

[quiche !!T2UdrWkLSWB No.11066184]

>>11063631
That one dishwasher who comes in looking like he's just been on a weeklong bender
Fresh off the boat dominican, speaks spanish to everyone and is pissed off when they don't understand
Never comes in after payday; crashing from booze and coke
Sometimes stands behind people prepping, just looking and standing still

[Anonymous No.11066238]

>>11066184
fuck yeah sounds just like me minus the dominican part

[Anonymous No.11066264]

>>11063662
Fuck you gramps I was the greatest dishwasher ever.

[Anonymous No.11066898]

>>11063631
>that young black dishwasher who is kind and friendly to everyone but when he speaks he obviously has schizophrenia or something because nothing he says makes any sense or is at all relevant to the conversation and he just starts rambling and rambling and you feel obligated to listen because he's so nice even though now he's basically just mumbling
He is so nice and works so hard but he scrambled his brains with drugs or mental illness. Now they're training him to bus tables.

>that old Mexican dishwasher who yells at you in spanish if you don't take the time to scoop all the sauce out of the sauce ramekins before putting them in dish
Fuck off Nacho you lazy dick this is literally your only job.
>all the other Mexican dishwashers that spend >30% of the day standing out back around someone's truck the tailgate of which is full of beer and rum
>two of them will play music on their phone speakers simultaneously so the kitchen is just full of awful din
They keep getting intermittently fired for being too drunk at work and the owner gives them their jobs back because he can't get anyone else to wash dishes.

[Anonymous No.11066972]

I worked at a pub for 4 years, and we had one dishwasher named TJ, who must have been 21-22 and was a fat fucking piece of shit. He started talking about anything by going "yo yo yo." He never shut the fuck up and did everything one handed because he was always fucking around with his phone in the other. I don't know how, but the boss never seemed to catch him doing it.

He complained so much about the dish backup the owner bought one of those table-top cube dishwashers, and the piece of shit still couldn't keep up. "yo yo yo bossman things are still gettin' out of control here man lets just switch to plastic baskets"

He supposedly got a small rap label deal for like 10k to make an album. He would remind everyone daily that he needs to work on his album or they're going to take the check back. Guess what happened? after about 3 months he lost his deal and was fired in the same week. I still cringe thinking about his god awful crustache.

[Anonymous No.11066994]

>>11063882
pleasestoptalkingaboutme

[Anonymous No.11067097]

>>11063868
>he called me out for whistling Kate Bush while chopping onions and then spent the rest of his shift singing cloudbusting hella loud
fucking based. im going to listen to some kate bush now

[Anonymous No.11067916]

>>11063882

With the exception of having the conversations in my head instead of aloud, this is me to T. Too an extent that it's almost creepy.

[Anonymous No.11067947]

>>11063631
When I was a dish washer I'd drink on the job, never broke a plate, and I always got out fairly on time no matter how busy it got.

[Anonymous No.11069265]

>Crackhead dishwasher who took 5 smoke breaks a shift and drank nothing but fruit punch and somehow lasted a year
Still friendly tho just an idiot
>tiny manic pixie girl dishwasher who did her job really well but quit after huge panic attack during the busiest shift of the week
She was so sweet ;<
>Literal communist who didn't see the irony of working an entry level food service job
He sells drugs now
The only ones left are,
>Basically a less significant slightly smarter Forrest Gump,
Total bro but he's really gullible
>Self entitled autist who complains about everything and gets way too friendly with girls
Again super nice but he has a short fuse

[Anonymous No.11069281]

>>11069265
The last one was ne except for the creeping on girls part. I got fired for throwing a hotel pan a the chef's head.

[Anonymous No.11069969]

>>11069265
>>Literal communist who didn't see the irony of working an entry level food service job
whats so ironic about that

[Anonymous No.11069973]

>>11069969
Marx wrote in the Communist Manifesto, "entry level food service jobs are shit and only capitalist bourgeois loving pigs would go near them."

[Anonymous No.11070016]

>>11065831
Nk

[Anonymous No.11070030]

Fuck all of you idiots for talking shit about me. This is why I left and made sure there was a huge pile of dishes during rush.

[Anonymous No.11070036]

>>11069265
>tfw no manic pixie dream dishwasher girl gf
just end it. just end it all.

[Anonymous No.11070058]

>>11069265
>mfw bartender
>working behind the bar in the weeds
>some newb busser refuses to get the buss bins behind the bar
>I'm working service bar in the weeds
>mgmt comes up to me and demands these buss bins get to the kitchen
>politely say "kiss my ass, man. I'm in the weeds trying to get these drinks out. Get a busser over here now."
>manager says "we don't have any silverware / burger plates
>I reply, "get someone over here, a server, the hostess, idk. the bar is 4 deep and I can't take 5 mins to do this"
>mgmt gets a little pissed
>get a cocktail server to cover me for a hot second
>stack all four fully loaded buss bins on top of eachother
>run through the dining room with said bins
>get into the kitchen, drop the bins on an already piled up stack of dishes
>dishwasher bitch gets mad at me
>tell her "Hurry up and hustle! Do your fucking job and get off the phone."
>Expos look at me like I'm a huge asshole
>walk out of the kitchen yelling "Behind! you lazy fuckers!"
>Get commended by mgmt for taking action
>Dishwasher was a nigger btw.

[Anonymous No.11070164]

>that dishwasher who wanted to make a good first impression so didn't take a single break or even eat for 8 straight hours
>that dishwasher who eventually crashed hard and had a breakdown in the closet, tears and all
>that dishwasher who learned not to kill himself working, since management probably won't give a shit either way
That dishwasher was me

[Anonymous No.11070175]

>>11070164
Are you me? I was working 12 hour shifts, no food, no breaks for a couple days before I started having fucking panic attacks. After I learned to chill the fuck out the job was pretty comfy.

[Anonymous No.11070311]

>>11070058
god you type like a fourth grader

[Anonymous No.11070322]

>>11063631
Her eyes glistened like morning dew, and she had a smile that felt like it was only for you. But that was her resting face and she barely thought of me. Her tinkling laugh haunts my dreams to this day.

[Anonymous No.11070411]

>>11070311
Holy shit.

I'm not going to write a fucking story on some anime board. \

[Anonymous No.11070417]

>>11070411
You wrote more characters than most people have ever written in a single 4chan post.

[Anonymous No.11070478]

I met the greatest dishwasher of my life
I'm,working at a an upscale dining place and we usually have have a high rate on dishwashers until this guy named Ian came along

Dude looks like a fucking lumberjack 6'5 bulky, white, full black beard.

This dude does dishes like they killed his parents. This guy does dishes like he fucking hates the idea of any plate or dish being unclean. Even the chefs were amazed and always say shit to him lile hey man stop working so hard.

Hes gotten bored on weekends. He can take a swamped as dishpit that would take a normal dishwasher 1-1/30hrs but he gets it done in like 30.
We will be in the weeds, stacked plates, and cook dishes and in lile any shit. Ill be on line, look up and hes says to me "sir is there anything I can do" so he will,jump on prep and knock out a vinagrette or guacmole in 10 then jump right back on. He makes closing the fastest shit in the world. Hes like an urban legend at our resturaunt and always will be. When our part time guy comes in were like ahh fuck its night like these that makes Ian our hero

Ian is my hero

Best dishwasher I've seen in my life from 8+ years of line cooking

I love you Ian

[Anonymous No.11071299]

>>11066264
Not who you replied to but i was the best of the best of the best, chef!

[Anonymous No.11071645]

>that 70 yr old dishwasher who doesn’t speak English, can’t keep up, and takes his break in the middle of the dinner rush

>that female dishwasher who cried at work everyday

>that 17 yr old dishwasher who threw away the silverware to spite the servers

[Anonymous No.11071660]

Servers> bartenders>cooks> managers> bussers>dishwashers>>>>>>hosts.

Most to least important

[Anonymous No.11071691]

>>11066898
>it's literally your job
nope, that's the bussers job

[Anonymous No.11071700]

>>11070164
I feels ya broseph, I been there

[Anonymous No.11071707]

>>11071660
If servers are so important why do you suck so much cock?

[Anonymous No.11071728]

>>11071707
It’s like this. Anyone can throw food in a pan and wait for it to cook. The reason why you’re stuck in the back is because you don’t have the social skills required to be one of us and make the big boy money.

[Anonymous No.11071740]

>>11071660
cooks > hosts > dishwashers > bartenders > managers > servers > bussers

FTFY

[Anonymous No.11071748]

>>11071740
t. career BOH walletlet

[Anonymous No.11071786]

>>11071728
this has to be bait
servers give customers the food, food is made by the cooks. no cooks no food no business

[Anonymous No.11071803]

>>11071740
managers > servers > hosts > bartenders > cooks > bussers > dishwashers

Have a good leader, and the business succeeds because he can solve problems, replace shitty staff, and increase value to customers.

The customer facing staff cannot be shit people. Needs to be higher quality than others.

Non customer facers can simply do their job properly. They can be shit people.

All important, but you need the best interacting with the customers.

[Anonymous No.11071823]

>>11071803
Managers just manage the FoH, and servers are infinitely replaceable. They're not "good people" (usually the opposite), they're just social people who are going to be talkative naturally whatever they're doing. Finding a good cook or dishwasher is much harder than finding someone who can do any FoH job other than manager (and most managers don't do shit).

[Anonymous No.11071870]

>work as dishwasher
>Cashier quits, manager starts training me to be cashier
>She thinks I'm really good at it
>I hate it, feel dread every time I see someone come in the door
>Beg her to hire another cashier so I can go back to being dish full time
>She hires another dishwasher and keeps me as cashier
I am going to kill myself

[Anonymous No.11071886]

>>11071660
They're all important if you want shit to run smoothly.

>dishwasher here ask me anything
>I'm already definitely /that/ dishwasher

[Anonymous No.11072200]

His name is Rafael
He doesn’t talk to anyone and sucks on limes all day
He’s cute I want to fuck him

[Anonymous No.11072514]

>>11070478
just imagine if he took that drive to a job that is worth a damn

[Anonymous No.11072626]

I was in the dish pit for like 3 months before they put me on prep. We had this guy named Jose who was trans but not fully passing (or even close really. ) Odd dude, would often try and flirt with me. Our store shutdown and at the final company get-together he showed up with his nails done like a girl, but the rest of his wardrobe was still masculine. And he had facial hair. He always used to spend $15 on a cab to get home so I offered to give him a ride for $10 so I could have more $$ for weed. After dropping him off once this dude gave me some free heroin that was really good.

[Anonymous No.11072659]

>>11072626
>tranny heroin junkie
*definitely NOT mentally ill

[Anonymous No.11072674]

>>11069265
>girl dishwasher
i don't believe you

[Anonymous No.11072678]

>>11072659
I didn't clarify, the free dope came from some enterprising dealer who knocked on my car's window after the tranny got out.

[Anonymous No.11072700]

I'm a dishwasher in a retirement home, best job ever. Everyone in the kitchen just relaxing, everyone's all cool and talking about the nice things in life, no stress no strife. I even get to flirt with the grandmas.

[Anonymous No.11072710]

>>11063813
Any punctuation would be great. Doesn't even have to be the correct symbol.

[Anonymous No.11072716]

>mid 40s puerto rican ex-con covered in spiderweb tattoos
>got along with me cause I was bussing at the time, probably the hardest working/humblest position FoH
>always called me "player" and would make fun of the servers with me
another place
>squad of interchangeable guatemalans, none of whom spoke a lick of english or stood an inch over 4'11"
i think they bussed in different ones monthly

[Anonymous No.11072861]

>>11063631
Had a dude that just peeled the greasy paper off of the sheet trays and thought that was clean. He would also stack deep pans on top of each other before putting them in the dishwasher, said he got more done that way..... I'd spend some nights re washing shit and going back through the "clean" dishes to make sure his retarded ass was doing it right.

[Anonymous No.11072878]

>>11069265
They hired a girl to wash dishes? Fucking why?

[Anonymous No.11073056]

>>11072626
>I offered to give him a ride for $10
Oy vey cousin shlomo! You could have got $12.50 easily!

[Anonymous No.11073089]

>>11072878
This. I did it on weekends when I was 15 and it's one of those jobs like covert seal military infiltrations that womyn are not physically capable of handling during extended rushes. The owner was a fool.

[Anonymous No.11073104]

>>11073089
It just seems like a waste to put a girl in a BoH manual labor position. Just make her a hostess or something.

[Anonymous No.11073151]

>>11073104
FoH women are either bimbos or middle aged lazy, whiny and entitled cunts who offload most of their work to the BoH whenever they can
Sometimes I just feel like dropping everything I'm doing on the prep and serve the food myself. Gay dudes can't get it straight either.

[Anonymous No.11073572]

>>11070058
You sound like a nigger with how you write and act. Don't pretend you're white, you're still going up on that tree faggot

[Anonymous No.11073695]

>>11063761
What was his first name?

[Anonymous No.11073739]

>>11073151
or 16 old qts dipping their toes into the working world for the first time
god i love hostesses
the only restaurant females that aren't guaranteed bitter cunts

[Anonymous No.11073777]

>that chill aspiring rapper who would bring in unlabeled cd-r's of some of his songs
>that fat greasy italian who sneaks in the walkin and sticks his dirty fingers into the cooling food to eat some
>that 90 year old filipino man who despite working with english speaking people for over 30 years doesn't speak a word of it
>those young kids still in HS who work about 2 months and then just stop showing up

[Anonymous No.11073945]

>crew of the only 4-5 Mexicans in a 30 mile radius
>chill as fuck, only friendly people in the joint
>Only ones to help with closing and cleaning after main service cooldown
>one time the grease trap got clogged and while cleaning it the oldest one got completely covered in sink juice and water
>literally stripped and changed clothes in the kitchen while laughing with other dishies laughing too

[Anonymous No.11073998]

>>11063631
Im a dishwasher who never talks, keeps to himself, and does the dishes

[Anonymous No.11074024]

>that dishwasher who is Jamaican
>can barely understand him
>mostly just speaks creole to the other Jamaicans they keep in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.11074064]

>>11063631
*that* is good this time
>50ish year old 5'1 skinny old man
>loved his job
>he couldn't read or write
>was kind to everyone he worked with
>would always say "Hey Anon you dropped your pocket!" or "Your shoe is untied!" and would laugh with me
>if i had flour on my apron he would say "what's the matter? Do a little Jiggy Jiggy?" while making a jerking off motion with his hand

I miss him

[Anonymous No.11074073]

>>11063868
>He likes going up to you, saying "you have a minute?" And then walking away
Top kek

[Anonymous No.11074083]

>>11073998
cool

[Anonymous No.11074087]

>>11070058
I'm not sure if you understood this thread

[Anonymous No.11074091]

>>11073572
>>11070311

>complaining about the format of greentexts

imagine

[Anonymous No.11074139]

>>11070478
>tfw my name is Ian and I just want someone to recognize my hard work
This vicarious satisfaction is enough for now.

[Anonymous No.11074199]

>>11070058
This isn't degenerate enough and you don't show any desire for congratulations or recognition. Next time tell us about the hard working tranny that doesn't take no shit and the proud black man who gets to set the radio station.

downvoted.

[Anonymous No.11074213]

>>11072626
knew there would be a trany story in here somewhere.

[Anonymous No.11074246]

Im a dish washer at a dennys and i barely talk at work. Partly because im tired and pissed from working my other job earlier in the day. I probably always look generally unfriendly and irritated.

Cute waitress earlier today said "anon, i want you to be happy"

Felt bad all day after that

[Anonymous No.11074308]

taht nenja was eaten beans lmao

[Anonymous No.11074880]

>>11074024
how's the second hand ganja smoke feel

[Anonymous No.11076257]

Dave has a really bad stutter, and just mumbles about the Leafs playing good or bad and how he plays goalie for his beer league ball hockey team. He's invited me a few times to play.

I've never gone.

[Anonymous No.11076364]

The Rev.

>like almost 70
>scrawny, about 5'10
>knobbly bleached hands because he uses bleach on everything
>sporting the biggest bushiest handlebar moustache I have ever beheld
>alcoholic, drinks wine starting at 10 in the morning to about
>actually a reverend, Harvard graduate in Theology
>raised protestant, considers himself Buddhist
>Half owner of the restaurant
>makes all the pie from scratch every Friday at 4am
>listens to exclusively NPR, All Things Considered was favorite and he never missed it
>loves discussing philosophy and religion
>prefaced every conversation with "Well...." like Deckard Cain
>tolerated other dishwasher blasting Run the Jewels next to his ear every. Single. Day.
>the chillest ever
>an actual saint

Only thing that angered him was an autistic regard of placement to every single piece of dishware, cookware and cutlery. One thing out of place and he would go "WHO PUT THIS HERE? IT GOES HERE" and slam it down. Working with him was such a treat and he seemed almost unreal at times. I would love to post a pic of this absolute, beautiful specimen but I have to protect him.

I'm gonna cry when he leaves this world but he has a mansion waiting for him up there, with the cleanest and most beautiful kitchen. I can't wait to be invited to one of his afterlife dinner parties.

[Anonymous No.11077053]

>>11076364
Seems like too much weird detail to be fake, so I have to say he sounds based af.

[Anonymous No.11077558]

One was a riff Raff Florida sounding muthafucka always high out his mind, thought he was gangsta, a wigger

[Anonymous No.11077575]

>>11065831
sorry i only check /ck/ every few days but he was from taiwan

[Anonymous No.11077634]

>that dishwasher that organized stolen food and booze markets in the alley behind our restaurant

Huge ass steaks for 5 bucks apiece and cases of frozen shrimp for 15, bottles of top notch booze for 5 bucks

[Anonymous No.11078024]

>cool but lazy af black dude that would abandon a totally fucked dishpit. everyone is looking for him cause there are no clean plates and someone finally finds him rolling down a hallway in an office chair rapping lil wayne. he fucking loved lil wayne and constantly lectured people that there should be classes on lil wayne

much better than

>weird really short guy from africa who used to be a raging alcoholic and destroyed all his brain cells. he would just stand there in dishpit not doing a thing staring out into the void with his yellowed eyes. everyone knew he quit drinking but he'd constantly flirt with girls by asking them to drink with him. creepy dude

[Anonymous No.11078613]

>>11076364
Nice
>>11077634
Jesus fucking Christ. Zero regard for owners.

[Anonymous No.11078621]

>that dishwasher that sits under my bench and does fucking nothing