/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10984392]

>be me
>come back to moms house after hanging out with my big daddy boyfriend
>twin sister offers to make a nice homecooked meal
>hesitantly say yes whilst remembering previous "meals" shes prepared
>expects her to take awhile
>shit takes 10 minutes
>bitch comes in holding paper plate with half frozen half burnt lasagna with a singular ravioli on top
>bitch who tf keeps a singular ravioli around,i stay up late sometimes wondering where tf it came from.
>bite into it expecting and wishing for a wholesome homemade meal
>BLAND DISGUSTING HALF FROZEN HALF BURNT MUSH
>SINGULAR SLIMY GREEN RAVIOLI ON TOP
>WHO KEEPS A SINGULAR RAVIOLI LAYING AROUND ED*#*#$*KSJS
>im FUCKING FURIOUS
>throw it 0n floor with no remorse
>how could she serve this horse shit
>despicable.
>i might kill her
>have to evacuate building immediately before improper measures take place
>go to kitchen to get water bottle out of fridge to wash down this treacherous taste
>notice box of Stouffers frozen lasagna sticking out of trashcan
>bitchyourenotslick.jpeg
>im literally about to TEAR HER A NEW ASSHOLE
>i confront her in a rage of absolute proportions
>"iTs hOmEmAdE i sWeAr"
>she still tries to say that it was homemade to this day
>cant believe her bf brags about her "cooking"
>"yUh mY nIgGa mY gIrL cAn CoOk"
moral of the story dont lie to people about their cooking or you will spend a lifetime being tortured having to consume that crap

[Anonymous No.10984400]

I like your twin sister and her ravioli garnish.

[Anonymous No.10984412]

>>10984400
you wouldnt be saying that if your mouth endured that "food"

[Anonymous No.10984433]

>be me
Who else would you be, redditor
Get a sage and a reminder to not start greentext with that shit

[Anonymous No.10984436]

have you killed her yet?

[Anonymous No.10984443]

>>10984392
wow, you actually came pretty close to replicating how a teenage girl would post on 4chan, congrats.

[Anonymous No.10984469]

Are you a gay or female OP?

[Anonymous No.10984552]

>>10984436
possibly

[Anonymous No.10984560]

>>10984443
>>10984469
IM A GRILL FAGGOTS

[Anonymous No.10984567]

>>10984433
stfu cuck

[Anonymous No.10984587]

>>10984392
Tits or gtfo.

[Anonymous No.10984591]

>>10984433
Fuck off newfag

[Anonymous No.10984592]

>>10984392
Great thread op, 10/10. Just dont disrespect your sis next time ok

[Anonymous No.10984614]

>>10984392
You should put roofies in her drink when you're out some time.

[Anonymous No.10984636]

>>10984614
OP should incest her sister and post pics. Also, sharpie in pooper.

[Anonymous No.10984635]

>>10984560
Doubt.

[Anonymous No.10984649]

>>10984587
>>10984635
tards

[Anonymous No.10984654]

>>10984592
thank you! and im pretty sure she disrespected me first by serving me that shit

[Anonymous No.10984666]

>>10984614
we are going out tomorrow what a perfect opportunity

[Anonymous No.10984697]

>>10984392
pic of daddy bf pls

[Anonymous No.10984765]

>>10984654
Then teach her how to make better spaghetti cake, dont insult her!!

[Anonymous No.10984802]

>>10984765
see anon,ive tried to give her constructive criticism without being a bitch but shes high&mighty because she legitimately believes shes an elite cook

[Anonymous No.10984813]

Canned/premade ingredients is not cooking. Its simply throwing together. Your sis is no cook

[Anonymous No.10984883]

>>10984802
>>10984654
The nativity you have to think you're not being mocked here is astounding

[Anonymous No.10984910]

>>10984883
how naive you must be to think i am not aware of these things,haha silly mortal

[Anonymous No.10984917]

>>10984392
Is nobody going to ask about the ravioli that is so obviously shooped onto the lasagna box?

[Anonymous No.10984925]

>>10984917
it me doing

[Anonymous No.10984943]

>>10984925
Why though?

[Anonymous No.10984957]

>>10984392
Ebin pasta OP, beats the shit out of your sisters.

[Anonymous No.10985428]

>>10984943
THATS WHAT SHE DID TO ME

[Anonymous No.10985436]

>>10984957

[Anonymous No.10985437]

>>10984392
Let me give you some personal insight on the matter.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

[Anonymous No.10985462]

>>10985437
this story was honestly so intetesting. i now know what i must do anon. you have showed me the way. and i thank you. she will soon learn

[Anonymous No.10985481]

this is what the bitch made for our birthday for several people. nothing but microwaved gmo WASTE and canned ingredients. i ate nothing but the fruit.

[Anonymous No.10985490]

I love that lasagna

[Anonymous No.10985497]

dry overcooked meat that couldn't be chewed and that had way to much taco seasoning,fake overfried fake tortillas,white people bland green sauce,hard dry ass rice and a yell0w onion for some reason...... SJDJDJF DI

[Anonymous No.10985501]

>>10985490
would u like it if the outside was burnt and the inside was raw?

[Anonymous No.10985505]

[Anonymous No.10985507]

>>10984697
second this

[Anonymous No.10985511]

bfs tacos. just look at the difference

[Anonymous No.10985526]

>>10985511
Those look like shit

[Anonymous No.10985539]

[Anonymous No.10985546]

Actual true story inbound:

>be me
>17 at the time eating stouffer's
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him
>pathological fear of girls since middle school, when some bitch mind fucked me
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>my sister is boy crazy, really wants to date someone
>announces that she's "seeing someone"
>father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the bastard.
>few days later, brings the dude home
>tall, scrawny kid with brown hair and glasses
>visibly nervous
>my father and I sit down and tell him that he's "walked into the courtroom"
>discuss for a few minutes
>they go out
>dad tells me "it isn't going to last"
>sis comes home
>announces it was "fun"
>around a week later, my sister tells me that her bf previously dated a college girl
>she's worried that he secretly wants this college girl back
>about a week later, overhear a conversation between my sister and my mother
>"We're not a thing anymore"
>tryingtoholdbacklaughter.jpg
>tell my father this
>laughs uncontrollably
>mfw my dad predicted exactly how his daughter's first relationship would go down

[Anonymous No.10985554]

>>10985462
It's pasta you idi-

Oh you're just being an idiot on purpose.

[Anonymous No.10985563]

>>10985546
>Predicted a 16 year olds relationship
Out of what, two options they break up or stay together until one dies?

[Anonymous No.10985760]

Literally none of this sorry actually happened.

[Anonymous No.10986194]

>>10985481
Post her feet

[Anonymous No.10986204]

>>10985546
kek, didn't know this was a YLYL thread

[Anonymous No.10986315]

>>10984392
>>10984560
>>10985428
why do these "women" always randomly caps lock like this?

[Anonymous No.10986350]

>>10984567
>>10984591
No, you're the newfag, newfag. Originally, the "be" part would give characteristics of the author, like age (e.g. >be 18). Eventually, people started writing "be me" because they were newfags. Just because it happened before you started coming here (in, what, 2012?) doesn't mean it isn't wrong.

[Anonymous No.10986362]

>>10986315
Women never have anything interesting to say so they just get louder when they want attention