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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10922078 No.10922078[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

>> No.10922082
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10922082

>>10922078
It's not our fault that you're addicted to sugar and fat, you fat fuck.

>> No.10922091

>>10922082
Black coffee god complex detected

>> No.10922099

>>10922082
>caffeine addict trying to criticize anyone else for being an addict
lol

>> No.10922103

>>10922082
>>10922091
Also skinny bitches order the most sugar drinks all the time. How do they stay thin?

>> No.10922105

>>10922078
>He cares how other people take their coffee
Literal autism

>> No.10922106

>>10922078
I mean, it has very little calories and caffeine. Are you saying I should drink monster energy drink?

>> No.10922118

>>10922078
Enjoy your sugar induced candida overgrowth.

>> No.10922120

>>10922091
It's a fucking drink. Relax, spasmo.

>>10922099
>caffeine addict
go back to /pol/

>> No.10922133

>>10922078
I'm an atheist and the only fedora I've ever seen IRL was by one of the 70 year old Vietnam vets who lived at the home where I worked security and a friend of mine who is a full on republican gun toting weed and coke dealer.

Well I'm more agnostic I guess to be honest

>> No.10922135

This was pretty funny but I'm still gonna drink my coffee black

>> No.10922141

>>10922120
>he thinks caffeine isn't addictive
imagine being this retarded
>muh /pol/
living in your head rent free

>> No.10922158

>>10922141
>he things caffeine isn't addictive
It obviously is. Why would how you drink your coffee affect this point at all? You're that fag that brought up addiction, as if the concept of a caffeine addiction is worth bringing unless you're a turbo autist.
>new memes!
summer