/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10840317]

what are some kitchy food related comments i can use during a dinner to make my date laugh?

[Anonymous No.10840325]

>sugar?
>no thanks, I'm already sweet enough

>salt?
>no thanks, I'm already salty enough

>pepper?
>no thanks, I'm already spicy enough

[Anonymous No.10840328]

>>10840325
>Grapefruit glacé? No thanks, I'm already bitter enough.

[Anonymous No.10840330]

"these dollar-ritas sure are great Heidi"

[Anonymous No.10840335]

"I'd better not drink alcohol. I don't want you to take advantage of me!"

[Anonymous No.10840354]

"do you think this butter knife resembles my katana? Remember the picture I emailed you? I bet I could defend you with this"

[Anonymous No.10840357]

>>10840317
>It's..... Smiling at me

[Anonymous No.10840360]

>>10840317
>that pic
L-lewd.....

[Anonymous No.10840364]

>>10840325
>sugar?
>no thanks, I'm already sweet enough

I sarcastically made that joke just the other day but about honey.

[Anonymous No.10840368]

Something about how a woman and wine get better with age. I forget how it goes.

[Anonymous No.10840388]

>>10840325
>Lemon in my ice water?
>No thanks, I'm sour enough

[Anonymous No.10840392]

>>10840317
>Don't eat too much, you'd look so much better if only you lost 10lbs
>Baby please don't leave, it's just a joke

[Anonymous No.10840395]

I hope you enjoy your dinner Anonette, because I want to give you a dicking later on.

[Anonymous No.10840398]

[Anonymous No.10840455]

>did you know pineapple makes the cum taste better?

[Anonymous No.10840476]

>>10840317
>Do you think oysters are considered an aphrodisiac because of their high zinc levels, which affect testosterone, or is it just because it feels like you're sucking on some extra fishy labia?

[Anonymous No.10840485]

Order a bottle of wine and then ask what she will be drinking.

[Anonymous No.10840509]

>>10840335
works only if you're hot

[Anonymous No.10840760]

Do you like cock?

[Anonymous No.10840789]

>>10840317
I like the escargot joke in the movie trading places
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOa-RWv2AAU
Say it real eccentric and practice, you'll be the life of the party lighting your farts on fire before the end of the night with the place in stitches

[Anonymous No.10840797]

>>10840325
>Aardvark sauce?
>yes! :)

[Anonymous No.10840806]

steal her whole steak while she's not looking, eat it in one bite and then make a guilty face when she asks where her steak at
always work

[Anonymous No.10841633]

>>10840354
kek. underrated

[Anonymous No.10841728]

>>10840325
>fat?
>no thanks, I'm already obese
>*sobs and waddles away*

[Anonymous No.10841741]

>>10840364
idiot
what do you think, that this joke hasnt been used in a sarcastic fashion 99% of the time?

[Anonymous No.10841764]

>>10841741
He probably means double-ironically, or post-ironically or something when he merely said 'sarcastically'. I struggle to believe anyone would think this expression is for serious use

[Anonymous No.10841786]

>>10841764
It's summer buddy. Get used to this level of discourse.

[Anonymous No.10841837]

>>10841786
If you think it's any different for the rest of the year you must be pretty fucking new yourself.

[Anonymous No.10841858]

>>10841837
>he doesn't realize i was being double ironi-
You know what, I don't even know why I still visit this site. I'm so tired of le reddit man and newfag horseshit. Yep dude you caught me.

[Anonymous No.10841865]

>>10840325
>black pepper?
>Well sure, if you can get it off of its lazy fucking ass

[Anonymous No.10841895]

>>10841858
Now, the real question is whether this "I was just being ironic myself, why do I still visit this site" post is genuine, or if we've traveled yet further down the ironic rabbit hole.

[Anonymous No.10841969]

>>10840325
>Your mushrooms, sir?
>No thanks, I'm already hollow on the inside

[Anonymous No.10842023]

>>10841895
at least it made me laugh