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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10825172 No.10825172 [Reply] [Original]

What foods make you fart the most?

>> No.10825190

Muesli

>> No.10825192

>>10825172
Highly processed foods usually do it

>> No.10825193

cabbage
beer

>> No.10825207

>>10825172
Steaks

>> No.10825215

>>10825172
Cukes
Too much garlic
White Castle sliders

>> No.10825287

For me, it's gotta be legumes.

>> No.10825310

>>10825172
usually foods high in protien or excessive amounts of protien

>> No.10825326

gerbils

>> No.10825330

lentils

>> No.10825341

Apparently everything in Japan, and I can't pinpoint it. At first I thought it was all the cabbage I was eating, so I stopped, then I realised I got stomach pains after anything with milk (which is odd because I used to drink it all the time), so I cut out milk almost completely (and now when I do drink it its even wose than before). I know for a fact konbu fucks me up, so I avoid that. Yet every other meal I'm a bloated farting mess. I think I should see a doctor about it.

>> No.10825348

>>10825341
Better yet do everyone a favour and kill yourself little faggot

>> No.10825353

whipped cream!

>> No.10825367

>>10825172
I fart all fucking day, probably the amount of coffee and seltzer water I consume.

>> No.10825385

>>10825341
>Apparently everything in Japan, and I can't pinpoint it.

Japanese food is like the blandest shit possible, unless you can't handle pork there shouldn't be any issue since most broth is pork based. Food usually just has more sugar to sweeten it, and is just filled with starches. Probably was the egg based shit in many things

>> No.10825388

>>10825172
Aard' sauce

>> No.10825393

Anything with whey protein

>> No.10825403

Coffee, tears me the fuck up. It's the painful gas before it's the funny gas so I don't touch it typically. Also grocery store fried chicken and chili.

>> No.10825425

>>10825385
I disagree, most popular Japanese home cooking is packed with sugar and salt. If anything it is too over the top with flavour. But I agree, there shouldn't be any issue, I thought I could eat everything, never had this issue before moving here.

>> No.10825436

>>10825172
Chickpeas.
Made the mistake of eating a curry with heaps of them on it on a work night. I'm an elementary school teacher.
My usual tactic is to silent but deadly near an unpopular kid and wait for others to start blaming him.
Or I'll "cropdust", where I'll silently fart while walking down a row of desks, CV usually hitting about 15 kids.
If I'm feeling nice I'll stand in the doorway or near the window and shoot the fart out of the classroom

>> No.10825437

eggs

>> No.10825445

>>10825348
seek out a therapist

>> No.10825446

>>10825425
>most popular Japanese home cooking is packed with sugar and salt. If anything it is too over the top with flavour
Geez Louise what do you normally eat? Unseasoned chicken breast?

>> No.10825451

>>10825425
Yeah, it's bland as shit. That's why they constantly throw stuff on it to 'season it up'.

>> No.10825452

>>10825445
Not him, but he's right you should kill yourself

>> No.10825459

Sorbitol generates those loud ripping farts that dont smell. Gum has sorbitol

>> No.10825460

>>10825445
He's right though

>> No.10825461

>>10825451
Could you elaborate on that? I have no idea what you mean.

>> No.10825462

>>10825452
I'm gonna concur on that suicide.

>> No.10825463

>>10825452
im also not the one he responded to. /b/ is leaking

>> No.10825466

>>10825341
>everything in Japan
Well, there's your problem, dumbass. Don't eat bugman food.

>> No.10825477

>>10825436
If it gets bad google "Fodmap"

>> No.10825486

>>10825436
For those who think this is bait, I had elementary school teachers like this. Being an elementary school teacher really seems to attract crazies.

>> No.10825511

Bear Creek brand "Darn Good Chili"

Eat a couple bowls of this and I guarantee that you will be farting non-stop for the next 24-48 hours.
The entire house will literally smell like your lower intestines.
My wife walked in the house and immediately bursted into tears of rage at me.

>> No.10825520
File: 172 KB, 628x951, POSTPostFFrost29169_CL___JPEG_3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10825520

>>10825172
I snacked on handfuls of this on my way back from a road trip and my ass has been on fire for 3 days

>> No.10825521
File: 64 KB, 500x500, Darn Good Chili.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10825521

>>10825511
forgot my pic

>> No.10825691

>>10825486
When you're a teacher you realise that adults are just grown up kids who try to pretend to be mature.

>> No.10825790

>>10825436
If you're a girl then it's teachers like you that gave me my fetish

If you're a dude... Why elementary school

>> No.10825852

>>10825172
Anxiety

>> No.10825861

that Carnation instant breakfast powdered mix

>> No.10825869

cum

>> No.10825874

>>10825172
food with sorbitol
raw broccoli

>> No.10825879

Deep-fried potato-like things.

After BIG UND STRONG dose of fries I'm farting monster for next day.

>> No.10825880

>>10825790
The whole school system is desperately short of male teachers, so you get better benefits, priority on placements you want etc. Also I used to teach highschool but highschoolers are disinterested cunts. Kids are funny as shit.
When was the last time someone asked you what your third favorite lizard was?
Also teaching elementary is piss easy and almost no preparation compared to high school, where kids are stressed, trying to enter college, puberty and all that shit.

>> No.10825908

>>10825880
Fair enough

>> No.10826043

>>10825172
Cauliflower and garlic omelette with hot sauce

>> No.10826046

>>10825172
Cat give me bad gas, dog do not. Dog safe to eat but no cat.

>> No.10826053
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10826053

>> No.10826315

Fried onions, raw ones are okay. Really weird.

>> No.10826319

>>10825310
protein doesn't make you fart, but it does make them more stinky by a lot

>> No.10826336

Cheap frozen microwaveable burritos make me fart a lot, and they are really toxic ones too.

>>10826053
what the fuck is this?

mämmi?

>> No.10826346
File: 16 KB, 352x150, db.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10826346

>>10826053

>> No.10826377

Not a single braaap poster. I'm finally proud of you, /ck/.

>> No.10826385

>>10826319
Then why do vegans have the absolute worst smelling farts?

>> No.10826476

sparkling water. also it gives me diarrhea.

>> No.10826483

>>10825172
any fast food.

>> No.10826538

>>10825172
Vegetable soup

>> No.10826566

>>10825172
Pears.
But not apples, for some reason.

>> No.10826571

Milk

>> No.10826606

>>10826377
I was going to. First post. But we kept it about farts instead.

>> No.10826611

>>10826053
where's slop o shit poster when he's fitting?

>> No.10826620
File: 1.01 MB, 1280x720, 1525601111133.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10826620

>> No.10826772

>>10825463
Not him, but yeah /b/ is leaking. I spent 9 years there, it's too bad to stay anymore. Gay shit and jerking off is all that's there. /Ck/ has been nice, don't know why I hadn't moved here sooner.

>> No.10826780

>>10826772
Kill yourself newfag

>> No.10826787

gummy bears, i use to eat them all tern time

>> No.10826792

>>10825172
Brussel sprouts and baked chicken light me up.

Theres also a Chinese buffet near me with the SHITTIEST food but every now and then I get a craving and spend the rest of the day shitting.

>> No.10826799
File: 8 KB, 300x200, linetrap1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10826799

>>10826787
>i use to eat them

>> No.10826818
File: 49 KB, 800x533, bruleur-de-graisse-naturel-homme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10826818

This.
If you want a girl to make constant, loud, bubbly farts for a whole day have her eat a block or two of konjac. Goes down pretty easy but obviously the gas is gonna make her bloat like hell until it comes out. No smell if that's your thing, but nice loud farts for sure. Sexy stuff.

>> No.10826879

>>10825446
uh yes, us whites want unboiled potatos and none of that spicy ketchup

>> No.10826893

>>10825172
homemade chex mix

>> No.10826897

>>10826879
>none of that spicy ketchup
Why is 'vark sauce so popular among white males aged 20 to 35 then?

>> No.10826907
File: 126 KB, 800x600, jerusalem artichokes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10826907

>> No.10826922

>>10825341
you're gonna have to find and choke down some natto or kimchi anon, they're funky but the probiotics in them will even your belly out.

>> No.10826932

>>10826385
can fucking confirm

>> No.10827494

>>10826799
Bailey Jay back when she had braces and was called Linetrap. Muh dick

>> No.10827503

>>10825172
fried chika

>> No.10827508

>>10826385
because they have sick intestines and colon

>> No.10827512

>>10825403
>take my morning shit
>have a cup of coffee
>wait ten minutes
>wew i have to shit again

>> No.10827516

>>10825511
i cant eat chili, it seriously makes me sick

>> No.10827520
File: 105 KB, 819x1024, 1525918973681.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10827520

>>10826818
Nice

>> No.10827529

>>10827520
>my dear

>> No.10828076

>>10825172
The worst gas i ever had was when i had chicken alfredo pasta, lays lemon chips with hummus, and a 6 pak of lonestar beer for dinner. I seriously thought i was going to die

>> No.10828092

>>10826385
has not been my experience. get on /fit/, they'll tell you about the protein farts

>> No.10828158

>>10826315
This. Oh my lord the stench

>> No.10828165

Milk

>NB4 soy triggers

>> No.10828175

brussel sprout

>> No.10828256

Eat sauerkraut as a side dish to white bean and ham hock soup. I've had my wife get up in the middle of the night to sleep in the spare bedroom from it and when I woke in the am, the entire room smelled like a rankass fart.

>> No.10828295

>>10828165
People over the age of three are naturally supposed to be "lactose intolerant". Your body shuts off the gene(s) for producing lactase so when you drink or eat it the lactose just ends up feeding the bacteria in the intestines which causes them to reproduce rapidly and emit large amounts of gases.
Some groups of people who herded livestock have evolved to where the gene doesn't shut itself off because of pressures like famine when wheat and other grains failed and there was only grass for cows to feed on so naturally people wanted to take full advantage of their livestock.

>> No.10828459

>>10825691
>adults are just grown up kids

Well, yeah. We all are.

>> No.10828462
File: 241 KB, 932x944, 1528711245749.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10828462

>>10825691
>When you're a teacher you realise that adults are just grown up kids who try to pretend to be mature.
Do you teach Special Ed?

>> No.10828465

pinto beans

and really greasy shit

>> No.10828475

>>10828462
Do you go outside?

>> No.10828480

>>10828475
>adults are just grown up children
Can you even turn a doorknob or does your handler do it for you?

>> No.10828488

>>10825172

Broccoli, sometimes eggs, certain pizzas.

>> No.10828494

Fleshlight full of macaroons

>> No.10828522
File: 61 KB, 660x495, ny3cwecddht83sm3m6d0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10828522

>>10825341
It's the soy. Soy is like condensed fart juice (aka tofu).
In order:
>Tofu
>Durum pasta
>baked Russet potato
>beef

>> No.10828548

>>10825330
>>10825511
>>10826315
>>10826818
>>10826907
Gonna give my gf all of these and see which one works best

>> No.10828675

>>10825172
Just get out of junior high, brat?

What the fuck is this stupid post doing in the catalog?

DO YOUR FUCKING JOB JANNIES!

>> No.10828687

>>10828675
>Just get out of junior high, brap?
I'm 45
>What the fuck is this stupid post doing in the catalog?
The catalog is a comprehensive list of every thread on a board.
>DO YOUR FUCKING JOB JANNIES!
They are.

>> No.10828704

>>10825172
Pizza

>> No.10828724

>>10826476
Wut it's seriously water with added air that isn't what is giving you the shits

>> No.10828743

>>10826620
wtf is with this webm

>> No.10828793

>>10828704

this i used to eat lots of pizza and at night when my chihuahua would nestle between my legs for bed i would fucking destroy him with gale force and he loved it. probably loud for him tho

>> No.10828838

>>10828165
>>10828256
Lel, fucking genelets.

>> No.10828861
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10828861

>>10828743
It's a device for magnifying odors or something. Probably used by brap sommeliers

>> No.10828987
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10828987

>>10825172
Neit

>> No.10829179
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10829179

>>10828987

>> No.10829583

>>10828743
http://www.nasalranger.com/About.cfm

>> No.10829599

Anything with dairy cause I'm lactose intolerant.
Beer sometimes gives me wicked farts too.

>> No.10829708

>>10829583
One day soon this technology will be cheaper and more powerful than ever and brapfags will be roaming the world ruminating in the true scent of a woman

>> No.10829714

>>10829599
See
>>10828295

>> No.10830245

>>10829708
>>10829583
Fuck yeah I'm buying one

>> No.10830754

>>10825172
Anything I eat on my cheat day (I'm vegan)

>> No.10831067

>>10825172
kimchi is making me fart like a champion. Dunno if it's the cabbage or the bacteria.

>> No.10831080
File: 23 KB, 438x438, sadpuss.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10831080

>>10826571
Same. I buy delactosed now.

>> No.10831097

>>10826336
Chili on a cruise ship

>> No.10831099
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10831099

This thread is still up
The thread bitching about it got deleted after like 15 minutes

>> No.10831133
File: 72 KB, 858x536, 1529368382227.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10831133

>>10828548
Make a thread with results once you've collected all of that brap data Anon

>> No.10831232

Anything heavily processed or with artificial ingredients
"If it comes in a wrapper, it's a brapper"

>> No.10831473

>>10828743
It's a brap amp

>> No.10831498

>>10825172
lactose milk, but not cheese for some reason

>> No.10831505

>>10831498
Cheese has most of the lactose removed, it's mostly contained in the whey that's strained from the curds used to make cheese.

>> No.10831507

>>10827512
>go into work
>first cuppa coffee
>first shit of the day
Now you can speak

>> No.10831532

>>10826385
dead inside

>> No.10831537

Am I the only one here that gets disappointed when I fart and they don't smell bad?

>> No.10831680
File: 26 KB, 380x380, 0003800035648_A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10831680

Two of these for lunch and then a couple IPAs after work. Then I lay in bed watching TV and dutch oven myself. Absolutely rancid farts and I can't get enough.

>> No.10831851

>>10831133
I only have her lintels so far and it produced big airy farts, 8/10 would recommend

Some of these things though might be harder to find. Next is the chili.

>> No.10832005

>>10831532
Kek

>> No.10832471

camel tongue

>> No.10833944

>>10825436
if you're a girl please be in Portland

>> No.10833960
File: 903 KB, 500x375, 98fe8252a65e16bf7451c5ab3e7d4d2c.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10833960

>>10827520

>> No.10834763

>>10825172
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozqdqnyusjw

>> No.10835115
File: 323 KB, 700x384, 1529373550353.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10835115

>>10831851
You are the most important person in this thread, Anon. Please keep us updated. Looking forward to hearing the chili's results.

>> No.10835147
File: 1.39 MB, 3264x1836, Bon apple tea.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10835147

This crap I concocted cuz it's about to expire. But hey, waste not want not. I outta buy lactaid or whatever it is called.

>> No.10835149

>>10835147
nice plate

god this is so depressing

>> No.10835382

>>10835147
I commend you for not wasting food.

>> No.10835485

I've had horrible diarrhea for the last 2 days. What can I eat that isn't rice or applesauce that will help with this?

>> No.10836455

>>10835115
I woke up after a night after the chili and this anon wasn't kidding
>>10825511

They weren't as airy but holy fuck smell was a 9/10, that was fucking rank
And I loved it

>> No.10836508

>>10828548
>>10831851
godspeed

>> No.10836589

>>10825172
Lentils, white beans

>> No.10836595

>>10835485
banana

>> No.10837136
File: 206 KB, 1019x768, Soplando yopo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10837136

>>10826385
I believe if you are more accustomed to one way of eating and then switch it up that's when shit goes down
Ive been on keto and had a high carb item several times and it was just farts for days
But when I would just be eating muesli and vegetables for days, meat would have me farting as well. All these dieticians hate on other diets just cuz their bodies havent adapted IMO.

>> No.10837182
File: 360 KB, 415x500, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10837182

it's the fake sweeteners. similar to the infamous sugar free gummy bears.

>> No.10837233

>>10837136
What are they doing? Is it this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik1faeDt2P4

(protip; block the pipe with your tongue while you inhale through your nose)

>> No.10838152

>>10827529
Mmmmm yes

>> No.10838194

>>10825172
boiled cabbage
I've been farting every 5 minutes for 8 hours straight

>> No.10838233

guaranteed stink bombs?
just eat an excess of protein over the day - you'll be popping off gas grenades every few minutes

>> No.10838536

>>10828675
This is a good thread

>> No.10838546

>>10838536
He's banned for making a thread whining about this one like a plebbitor.

>> No.10838702

>>10837182
You can’t just mention xylitol gummy bears and not post the video

https://youtu.be/sMjgaa5j_LE

>> No.10838714

>>10838702
You can if you're not a redditor.

>> No.10838725

>>10838702
>xylitol
Maltitol*

>> No.10838740

>>10826897
They're all boomers

>> No.10838765

red onion

>> No.10838767

>>10838765
Soy doesn't cause intestinal issues though.

>> No.10838789

>>10825451

How can something be neither bland nor seasoned?

>> No.10838839

>>10831507
this tbqh

>> No.10838897

>>10826385
their bodies are dying

>> No.10838917
File: 44 KB, 400x400, tip with a rip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10838917

>> No.10838922

>>10825172
FiberOne bars will get you gassy for literally a full day at least.

>> No.10838937

beer and onions for me.

>> No.10839023

>>10826385
I have a story about a vegan:
(I am not vegan BTW)
>first date with vegan bartender gril
>she gave me her number at the bar, asks me via text to come over and cook with her
>I bring veggie stock, mushrooms, green onions, miso and udon noodles
>arrive and she has made some weird chickpea glop and wants to fry it like burger patties
>patties and soup are good, this chick is fine af and we are eyeballing each other like it's time to fuck
>she lights up a cig, I smell something weird
>she passes me the cig and then audibly blasts a tuba basso
>I try and play like I'm OK with it, take a drag of the cigarette
>breathe out smoke, inhale the MOST PUTRID ODOR I HAVE EVER INHALED
>gag several times, her 10/10 face is starting to look upset
>my eyes begin to water and I'm puffing on this cigarette to somewhat filter the air I'm taking in
>"anon, I- I'm so sorry! "
>I shake my head to console her
>she let's out another trumpet blast and starts crying
>I'm already heading out the door
I later got wasted and made out with this chick a few times, but damn, I'm not sure if I can ever put my cock near that necroblaster. Also now a year later she has gotten fat and become a 5/10. I eat plenty of meat and the only thing that makes me farty is fried potatoes

>> No.10839027

>>10827529
hint of eggs?

>> No.10839146

heres a story but not about farts
my cousin told me this story we are very close
>be cousin
>she is horny little fucker
>only 15 though(at the time)
>eats lots of chinese food
>like alot
>and i mean alot
>when it comes time to poop she holds it in until it becomes super
>she would then go to the bathroom and let it out slowly
>she would play with her vagina(with dildo)
>she said she liked the simulation of both the anus and galvani
>she would come too quickly
>she said it was like a dick up both holes
i was confused as to why she told me this story
she is very short and skinny so i do not know if this is entirely true story cause she eats like a bird at family dinners
and yes she has nice feet and blonde hair and larger medium sized breast
if you're reading this cus i love you

>> No.10840611
File: 1.70 MB, 1024x576, 1529372525849.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10840611

>> No.10840776

>>10825172
Potato chips/nachos, specifically cheese flavours

>> No.10840811

>>10839146
good post

>> No.10842538

>>10839023
I want to bully her

>> No.10842612
File: 76 KB, 728x916, If I censor the balls it wont be as good be cool mods.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10842612

Egg salad, I have no idea why

>> No.10843249

>>10838922
the power of chicory root extractbeing the fiber

>> No.10843291

>>10836455
>>10836508
>>10835115
>>10831851
I took her out to eat and we ordered a blooming onion (this post)
>>10826315
I'll keep you updated

>> No.10844666
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10844666

>>10843291
Awesome work so far. Praise be to Anon!

>> No.10844692

>>10825341
Its the sugar, which is also added to milk there

>> No.10844697

>>10825348
JAPAN CAN DO NO WRONG REEEE>>10825348

>> No.10845647
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10845647

>>10844666
Ok fried onion has been my favorite so far.

Produced big airy farts like lentils, but had an oniony scent to them. Stronger smell but not as much as the chili which was pure ass. It was the best combo with an actual pleasant after aroma.

I'm going to attempt to try and find the other things but they seem trickier. Might try Harry's Farmers market or whole foods.

>> No.10845662

>>10839023
why on earth would she fart loudly on a first date?...

>> No.10845731

>>10825172
chickpeas.

>> No.10846444
File: 1.78 MB, 298x298, sniff_sniff.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10846444

>mfw have a date and am going to be cooking for her
Thanks lads you're a godsend

>> No.10847477
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10847477

>>10846444

>> No.10847494

>>10845662
My guess is that she couldn't contain herself.

>> No.10847513

>>10825172
To me, not the most volume but certainly the worst potency comes from fake meat. Suck down a pack of Lightlife veggie franks, Beyond Meat chicken strips, and Impossible Burger (which tastes great btw) and then for volume go with chickpeas, sauerkraut and red cabbage.

I've woken myself up farting before, but always from the sensation, not the smell. I ate similar to the above and that night woke up in the middle of a dream I was on Dagobah being waterboarded.

>> No.10848539

>>10825172
ibs