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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10803998 No.10803998 [Reply] [Original]

Good ol 'vark sauce at the Tacoma metropolitan market!

Any anons from around the area?

>> No.10804003

Right next to the mango coconut candy where it belongs

>> No.10804022

Met Market really isn't worth the markup on stuff you can get elsewhere (like Aardvark). Gotta do most of your shopping at the Safeway across the street if you aren't blowing trust fund money. Same thing with Marlene's and some of the shit at Stadium Thriftway even.

>> No.10804034

Moving to Tacoma soon. Where do niggers like to shop for groceries?

>> No.10804041


Probably Safeway.

Be safe anon. Parts of Tacoma is a real shithole.

>> No.10804141

KILL YOURSELF you pathetic echo of a human.

>> No.10804265

Is it true that Tacoma smells like absolute shit aka the “Tacoma Aroma”?

>> No.10804277

Yes, yes it does

>> No.10804319

Not like it used to when it earned that name. The pulp mill that used to make the whole I-5 stretch from Fife through downtown closed down. Simpson still gives off a similar reek, but it's mainly concentrated towards the port area and nowhere near as constant as the old smell was.

>> No.10806013

'Vark sauce for EIGHT DOLLARS!?!?!? :○
It's not even that cheap here in Portland!

>> No.10806048

Why don't these threads get deleted?

>> No.10806076

Being a topic you personally dislike doesn't mean it's against the rules you dumb Redditor

>> No.10806081

Ark sucks it has zero flavor. It's tomato shit

>> No.10806091

>purposely living in Tacoma

I really like Met Market. They make good stuff. They have a lot more exotic stuff in produce compared to other places, so I would go there when I lived close to the one in Seattle.

>> No.10806112

I hope you're not moving to Southern Tacoma ie lakewood/parkland

>> No.10806335

Is Steilacoom still nice? I lived there jn 80's and it was comfy af.

>> No.10806344

I am my dood.

>> No.10806351

Look at that Hawksauce trying to cash in on the 'vark. Coattails much? Shameless really.

>> No.10806369

Fucking Hawksauce. When will he learn?

>> No.10806382

I don’t know because I haven’t been there in a while but all the areas are getting built up more, hence more traffic, and more expensive.

The Democrats are trying to price out the poor folk that they claim to care so much about.

As for the sauce itself, has anyone genuinely tried this? Is it ACTUALLY good or just a meme that it’s good (like the McChicken)?

>> No.10806415
File: 54 KB, 570x428, il_570xN.1038809792_m5w9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>if you voted to support education and a social safety net via tax revenue, you should stop spending money permanently
So at the end of the day, conservatives are just butthurt that liberals make more than them?

What's your plan? Eat the rich?

>> No.10806449


Not an argument.

Tacoma and Seattle both have a growing homelessness problem and people on the gibs. Both cities are run by leftists who say they care for the poor, but yet continue to screw them over.

And they care for people of color? Forget it. Go to downtown Seattle, Bellevue, and the nicer parts now of Tacoma....what race are the majority? Yep, white.

>> No.10806458

Seattle area Democrats are all pretentious limousine liberals

>> No.10806463

Oh I see, you're just a "perfection or nihilism" type.

If you can't have zero impact you should just commit suicide right? Fuck anyone who separates the bottles and the cans from the organic waste. Hypocrites, all of them.

>> No.10806562
File: 26 KB, 485x443, 2EC936DC-D339-440D-9544-3A3D3E61A260.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Where can I find ‘vark sauce in the midwest?
Target, walmart, trader joes, whole foods?

>> No.10806565


>> No.10806575


Not an argument

>> No.10806579

conservacucks believe in their constitutional right to act retarded and be ass-reamed by big business.

>> No.10806586


Trader Joes might be your best bet.

>> No.10806590


>> No.10806594


And those big businesses is where i have a job you faggot

>> No.10806600

I moved up to WA a few years ago. I live on the east side thank god it’s such a shithole everywhere else. I’ll probably leave this state in some time, ‘‘tis a shame because it’s beautiful but niggers and addicts have ruined it for the rest of us.

>> No.10806632

Dang. That place is actually ghetto, my friend had his car window smashed and robbed twice when he was parked at a grocery store

t. cleetus that thinks Spokane is nice

>> No.10806685


I live in Normandy Park about two blocks from the sound. Damn niggers and spics from Burien are bringing crime and drugs to the area. Just in the past two weeks there was a shooting here one up by Normandy Market.

Plus the homelessness are setting up camp by a small park by me and over by the QFC. Seeing needles and feces around. I think it is time to pack up and leave, only going to get worse.

>> No.10806689

wagecuck demonstrating my point. regressive to the point of wanting feudalism back.

>> No.10806706

Spokane is nice if you're not a tard and decide to live in the valley or Hilliard.
Have a nice house in a quiet neighborhood with outdoor shit accessible in a 15 minute drive from me. The house I have would cost 3-8x the cost anywhere in the greater Seattle+Tacoma metro. But some people get blinded by living in a larger city with trivial things like food and whatnot and seemingly ignore the much lower quality of life due to being on a non-stop financial rat race due to the way way higher cost of living.
I've lived in Seattle for a decade, I'll take my much less stressful living in the "dumpster" side of the state thank you.

>> No.10806720

>Each citizen is already a slave of the state
Better believe in neofeudalism stories, Anon. You're in one!

>> No.10806738

Spokane is full of meth mate

>> No.10806747

>8 dollars for fucking hot sauce

jesus you fucks are brainwashed

>> No.10806765

Wow, such an informative post. Lets ignore the fact that the entire fucking pacific northwest and northern Utah is a meth den in 2018, dosn't mater what town/city. Shit has spread like wild fire. I mean, a fucking meth house blew that was across the street from my high school while I was in class in the early 2000s.
If you're in the northwest, and this goes for any city now, is to pick and choose the neighborhood you live in based on walkability (or the lack there of). If you don't have easy bus or walking access you're likely not going to have methheads. This is unfortunately the case. There is a reason why my part of town is nice, basically no bus access and away from major arterial roads.

>> No.10806785

My town busses all our addicts to Spokane. Have fun getting home invaded by tweakers and raped and murdered.

>> No.10806804

How did I call it?

Any way, I live in Seattle now and I'm not a fan. It's super expensive, homeless every where, old RVs all over the road where people live in too, and generally trashy all over (especially down town side walks). People seemed obsessed thinking there's so much to do in a big city, granted if you are willing to blow money out the ass to go all the events.

I preferred living in a smaller town along i5 and then going to Seattle for events I cared for with friends. Hopefully prices don't keep shooting up but some place north of Seattle but south of Everett seems ideal for me

>> No.10806807

Spokane is literally a haven for homeless addicts. 1/3rd of the wastes of skin living in Spokane are homeless meth addicts.

>> No.10806809

And Spokane busses them to Salt Lake City and Portland.
Then Portland busses them to any town in northern California and Seattle.
Then Seattle busses them to Spokane.
Again, you act like its a Spokane problem when the region is fucked.

>> No.10806812

Fuck off shill

>> No.10806825

Growing up in Seattle is nice, and I'm lucky to have experienced the city, but I feel less confident about the future. Doubt I'll be able to get a house out of college or if it'd even be worth it.

People talk about loving the city but sometimes it feels like you're just wading through shit.

>> No.10806839

>People talk about loving the city but sometimes it feels like you're just wading through shit.
My expereance with Portland.
Amazing food, plenty of things to do, but the amount of homeless and methheads was out of control. Tent town after tent town.

>> No.10806852

Yea the whole state is fucked. What I noticed is that heroin is big in the i5 corridor like olympia, Tacoma, Seattle, and Bellingham (based on needles everywhere) but when you go more rural you see meth crazies.

>> No.10806860

Yeah PNW is a big open sewer but so is the rest of the West coast.

>> No.10806870

Its kinda turned in to one, and it pains me to say that growing up here.
That said, there is still plenty of good places to live if you're smart about it, but... yeah....

>> No.10806898

I bought some before this meme exploded when it first reached my local grocery store. It's pretty fucking lack luster but not the worst shit I've had.

>> No.10806904

At least it's not California levels of sewer and trash. I've been to Chicago and over the east coast a little and over there didn't seem much better either.

At least I'm the west coast the cities are newer and the roads tend to be less ass

>> No.10806908
File: 281 KB, 964x920, meth_washington.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

King county people love to pretend that their part of the state is some how less effected, or maybe they're so in a bubble that they don't realize that western Washington has the same to worse meth rates then the eastern side.
Maybe you guys should travel every once in a while.

>> No.10806927

no surprise that the voting majority in King is dumb, the city council is just as braindead

>> No.10806934

Chicongo is a shithole for the same reasons that PNW is though.

>> No.10806951

Man grays harbor is truly horrible. Aberdeen is like a post apocalyptic city that is still inhabited

>> No.10807002

Full of angry negroes too

>> No.10807209

Funny you should mention this because I know people who used to work at places like that who confirm it’s all for show. Since they can’t trust that patrons actually sorted their trash properly, it all ends up in the trash at the end.

>> No.10807219

>libtards believe it’s their constitutional right for everyone to be ass-reamed by big government

>> No.10807271

I live less than 2 miles from you. That’s crazy that there was a shooting near there?! I haven’t been to QFC in awhile but I remember when that was almost like the Metropolitan Market of nearby stores.

>> No.10807292

So, are you fine with the government taking 90% of your income then?

>> No.10807299

Most specialty hot sauces are around this price.

>> No.10807336

The area is beautiful, the temperatures are usually moderate, the weather is typically drizzly at worst and sunny and breezy at best, and the scenery is gorgeous. Drive 30-60 minutes in one direction and you are at the mountains. Drive 30-60 minutes in another direction and you are at a beach. Drive a couple hours and you are at a long, sandy, coastal beach. A couple hours more and there is a rainforest. Head back the other way and it’s arid and dry.

These are the things that make Washington state amazing. Leftists are the things that make Washington shitty.

>> No.10807340

Thanks - that’s sort of what it sounded like. Sounds safe to avoid.

>> No.10807363

Oh my gosh, this is exactly right. My boyfriend and I were driving around Aberdeen one day and there was block after block of houses with windows boarded up and I could only wonder what happened to the place. It would be a cute, historic town if it wasn’t like a barren wasteland with a random Walmart.

>> No.10807386

I agree the state is beautiful. There's nothing in my life that screams home like the wet evergreens. I just hate to see things getting worse even with money just flowing in to Seattle. I'm in West Seattle and it feels like the city's problems are soon becoming our problem, with a huge amount of people moving in and no infrastructure to support them.

>> No.10807481

Timber mills closed, little economic development

>> No.10807521

Not an argument

>> No.10807540
File: 1.92 MB, 1275x953, 68346438745.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10807755
File: 129 KB, 708x631, 67B54B09-F919-466F-B688-BBF8DB816C3D.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10807873


A living meme.

>> No.10807878

Columbusfag here, Meijer has it

>> No.10808800

I would behead my own mother to get 'vark sauce for $7.99

>> No.10808847

I live in Seattle an it's only 5.49 here because it's overrated and nobody buys it.

>> No.10808851

>tfw no 'vark on Vancouver Island


>> No.10808882

Kill yourself lier

>> No.10808932

There’s an underground source in Victoria by the ferry terminal

>> No.10808967
File: 248 KB, 1119x1030, aardvark.1704.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10809026
File: 148 KB, 1080x1848, shittyardvark.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

My mistake, its 5.99.
I stand by my previous statement regardless.

>> No.10809031

Being right above you across the border in BC, I’ve never seen this shit.

>> No.10809034
File: 17 KB, 194x259, 'vark.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I once found a bottle of the ole' vark at my local grocery chain (wal-mart). I was surprised such an exotic item would be at MY local part of the woods, so I figured why not!

Now let me tell you bois, when I was in my car with my bag of all different varieties of 'vark (i didn't end up getting anything else, had to go back the next day), I couldn't think of anything else but tearing into one of these bad bois. I had the habanero variety, but i thought these would be much too hot! So I settled on a milder one, and it even came in a yellow bottle! Now I'm not ashamed too admit I was horny as fuck the second one drop touched my tongue. It was honestly the best thing I ever tasted. I proceeded to drink 2 bottles of the liquid gold right there in the parking lot. Heaven.

Now its about this time my erection is starting to become an annoyance. Its raging fever hadn't subsided through any of this, starting the moment I saw so many bottles on the shelf (and that mascot is pretty arousing himself). I'm pretty sure the cashier calle d security on me because I was wearing athletic shorts and had a rager LMAO

Okay so here is where things got a little weird. I had to take care of this 'vark boner, so i pulled out behind my local grocery stop and tried to get in a spot where no one could see me (there wasn't one exactly), so I made due best as I could. I pulled my 'vark out and saw he needed tamed. I pulled out a bottle of the habenaro sauce, and I poured it all over my hand and cock. I then proceeded to have the most magical orgasm of my entire life. I'm not kidding, I had second degree burns inside my urethra but I would do it again in a heartbeat (and I will). But I happened to be next to what I assume was an employee exit because a couple girls were smoking outside and staring at me through this process. I had skedaddle, knowing that if I was aprehended by some pig they would probably take my vark as evidence

Long story short, the 'vark just gave me the best day of my life

>> No.10809037
File: 5 KB, 201x250, download (1).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10809049

Yeah, you sure got me man. Secret Aardvark is pretty fucking mid tier at best.

>> No.10809064


>> No.10809069

what in the fuck...

>> No.10809076

can't tell if serious, if so get help

>> No.10809082

new copypasta? we need one for the 'vark

>> No.10809087
File: 261 KB, 600x400, 980-8-098-09.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

fucking legendary

>> No.10809094

samefags, kill youreselfs

>> No.10809100
File: 27 KB, 480x360, 58756756859.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

learn how to spell, the 'vark is KING!

>> No.10809104

you right dubs i sorry

i love 'vark

>> No.10809105

No, it really, really isn't.

>> No.10809122

its the best hot sauce for the price you can find at any normal grocery store, you have to give it that at least!

>> No.10809126

based dubs confirm! 'vark is king!

>> No.10809137

Does EVERY based 'vark post get dubs?? We truly are blessed!

>> No.10809440


Kek approves???

>> No.10809574

i'm thinking he does!

>> No.10809665
File: 34 KB, 630x315, B1F63E2E-D82E-4677-AFEA-97FC34129E37.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Stop smuggling ‘vark across the border

>> No.10809722

sometimes i put 'vark on my hotdogs, i call them: 'vark dogs!

>> No.10809742

Shadilay fellow Kekistani brothers

>> No.10809745
File: 3.92 MB, 727x810, 1484198695872.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>come to /ck/ maybe once a month
>see a secret aardvark thread the past two times I visit

Is this just a coincidence, or is this some shitty forced meme?

>> No.10809756

Neither. It's unironic paid shilling that the mods accept bribes to ignore.

>> No.10809771

>shitty forced meme
It’s like you came from reddit or something. Bro, do you even McChicken?

>> No.10809799

Triggered numale

>> No.10809844


So....will doing this make a woman have an orgasm......?

>> No.10809867
File: 55 KB, 600x600, 1528821189109.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

it make her pee

>> No.10809880

It will give her cervical cancer

>> No.10809901

I think Seattle is sort of like a person sinking into quicksand and grabbing onto someone else for help only effectively pulling them into the quicksand too.

>> No.10809907

That makes sense. There probably was a lot of industry across the bridge long, long ago.

>> No.10809929

At QFC is really IS $5.99

Something similar will but look it up somewhere other than here.

My boyfriend did this to join in on the meme sauce. Neither of us have even tried - let alone get any payment from the makers of - Aardvark Sauce.

>> No.10809993

>(and that mascot is pretty arousing himself)
I know exactly what you mean! I was in Tiny's Coffee on 12th Southeast Ave in Portland a year and a half ago when I experienced something similar. My fiancee was gone with her friends on a cruise to Jamaica for her bachelorette party for 2 months and I was practically bursting out of my chastity cage because she had the key to it. My weewee looked like a bloated vienna sausage pressed between a waffle iron and shoved through a sewer grate and my testicles were bigger than ever before and a deep shade of purple.
Seeing as how my then fiancee banned me from even making eye contact with another girl I was just minding my own business while eating my food until I made eye contact with Varky The Aardvark on the 'vark sauce bottle. He was the hottest fucking thing in the world to me for about 210 minutes. I was silently fantasizing about what a snout that long and hips that wide could do to and for me. I was in a deliriously hormy state as I was constantly rubbing my throbbing cage through my skinny jeans. I realized what I needed to do now more than ever and without skipping a beat I grabbed the 'vark sauce bottle and briskly walked to the restroom trying to hide the bottle between my arm and my side.
I ran to the stall and closed the door as fast as possible whereupon I unbuttoned and unzipped my skinny jeans. The sensation of my chastity belt chafing my skin felt like my skin was being peeled with a vegetable slicer, but this wouldn't stop me.
I carefully positioned the 'vark bottle on the toilet tank lid and went to work helplessly rubbing my cage until I realized the spikes had atrophied over half of my penis and there was no way I could masturbate through the cage. My lust unquenched I realized my only other option.

>> No.10810008

I pulled my XL butt plug out from my anus making my prostate shift back into place. The sensation was heavenly, being quickly replaced by emptiness. I yearned for it to be filled and as my gaze met Varky's eyes one more time I felt several months of pent up sexual frustration come to a head. He was simultaneously the sexiest creature I had ever seen yet and also the most alluring. I grabbed the bottle and kissed his face for what felt like a lifetime but was actually a full minute. Without another breath I sank that bottle as deep as I humanly could into the inner sanctum of my rectum. For several minutes I stood there in bliss, letting the bottle roughly press against my prostate over and over. My body went numb as my anus tightened trying to shove the bottle out in vain, but instead only succeeding in squeezing the bottle's sweet, hot nectar into me. I squeezed as hard as I could with equal parts pleasure and pain blowing load after load of Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot sauce into me.

>> No.10810022
File: 181 KB, 1536x2048, IMG_5_5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Throughout this whole ordeal I could see in my minds eye my lover Varky embracing me and filling me with his thick tool until my virgin hole milked every last drop of sauce from his thick member. I fell to my knees as they violently quivered beyond my control. I could no longer suppress my moans, I was enthralled by ecstasy and I didn't care if the world knew it. Upon climaxing I filled my chastity cage to the brim with my dirty squirties even getting them all over my skinny jeans and the floor. The sensation of the 'vark sauce flooding my rectum tingled my prostate forcing me into yet another climax. Before I knew it I had orgasmed more times than I could count and an employee was banging on the door asking if I was okay. I mustered a hushed "yes" out of my disheveled and embarrassing stupor. I waited for them to leave then tried to clean up the mess with toilet paper before shortly realizing that my anus forced the cap wide open and it was stuck. At that point it was excruciating as the sauce endlessly burned my bowels. I ended up walking my bicycle two miles home to my apartment in agony, but the memories of the most euphoric day of my life soothed the pain. The bottle eventually came out of my anus that night and I wiped it off as best as I could to save it as a reminder of what 'vark really means to me. Luckily I still have and use that bottle since I refill it every couple of days, pic very related.

>> No.10810066


>> No.10810079

You gonna send your story to [email protected] ?

>> No.10810097

That's a good idea, I'll probably get some free 'vark sauce out of this!

>> No.10810186

okay that was pretty funny

>> No.10810196

we've all been there man! 'varky cummies make me happy! :)

>> No.10810205
File: 118 KB, 900x587, 4354356.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


legendary thread

>> No.10810210

this is my favorite thread i've ever been in on 4chan

i'm literally in tears

>> No.10810289

Hey Seattle bro. Greenlake here.

>> No.10810320

Hey Greenlake bro, I live in Fremont.
Want to maybe get a coffee some time? Are you white or what? It doesn't matter, I just like to think about meeting hot guys to suck and fuck here in Seattle.

>> No.10810331


What the fuck did I just read?

>> No.10810344

Literary kino

>> No.10810363

im gong to cum on bottle of vark'' ;)

will post pic in 2 min

>> No.10810373

Just when I thought 'vark sauce couldn't get any yummier

>> No.10810400


Been more than 2 minutes mate. All drained out?

>> No.10810448

It's been over thirty minutes, I can't keep edging for much longer. Please deliver

>> No.10810483

Why would anyone want to live in Tacoma??

>> No.10810673

It’s a great place to live if you’re a criminal or black

>> No.10810934

It's just a typical military post (Ft. Lewis) town which draws the low life US enlisted soldiers who turn it into a shit place.

>> No.10810957

I didn't realize so many people on /ck/ also live in Seattle.

>> No.10811296

They atl come from >>>/lgbt/

>> No.10811315

While I could definitely see that I am downtown a lot and it's not as bad as the meme posters will tell you. The homeless tents are though.

>> No.10811673

i faw aslp, back at it no

>> No.10811682

Oh god why? I lived their for barely 6 months and couldn't stand it. Kept getting robbed and shit. Crackheads everywhere. Shithole town.

>> No.10811711

Tacoma Boys is p great

>> No.10811753
File: 1.89 MB, 429x240, i8796t786.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hello neighbor, I'm in Ballard. How about a blow n' go at the homeless tents near the Fred Meyer?

>> No.10812138


Seattle really needs to be nuked.

>> No.10812246

Get a load of this bigot

>> No.10812258


>> No.10812285

Fremontfag here, that sounds exquisite!

>> No.10812503

I've been literally crying for an hour after reading this post

Why are people so fucking mean

>> No.10812696


Don't take it personally. It will save you a lot of heartache

>> No.10812712


Get a load of this faggot.

>> No.10812752

How the fuck am I supposed to "not take it personally" when some evil piece of shit says he wishes my home and everything I ever loved were nuked? I've spiraled back into my depression for the first time in weeks just thinking about such a atrocity taking away everything I know from me. Do you even live in Seattle? Are you even from here? How the hell can you be so nonchalant about this?

>> No.10812785

God I want to. Do you want to come to the homeless tents too? You can watch or even record if you want to ;)

>> No.10812796

>How the fuck am I supposed to "not take it personally"
Because you are on 4chan. Everything here is assumed to be silly BS.

If you are the type with thin skin that easily gets offended then you're on the wrong website. It's like a D&D nerd walking into a Hell's Angels strip club.

>> No.10812825
File: 150 KB, 512x512, AutismGuage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You're giving people too much credit

its not paid shilling, its a combination of bad taste and autistic memeing.

>> No.10812833

>"not take it personally"
wow buddy

you should leave before this place ruins you

>> No.10812837

>Secret Faggot Sauce
tastes like ketchup

>> No.10812857

1/69 bait

>> No.10812863


does it make you feel edgy when you come here? Does it give you a rush to be on the "bad" website?

>> No.10812867

nope. I don't even understand what "edgy" means.

>>A rush
why would it give anyone a rush? that's just dumb.

I'm on 4chan because I like anime. I'm on the cooking board because I also like cooking. that's pretty much it.

>> No.10812930

>implying I don't live in the tents next to Fred Meyer in Ballard
Cum drop a load in me, do you have a camera we can use? I sold mine for meth money

>> No.10812949



>> No.10812955
File: 34 KB, 600x600, Costanza.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10812956

Me either

>> No.10813654

>Secret Faggot Sauce
Do they sell this in Seattle? Can I get some at the tents outside Fred Meyer in Ballard?

>> No.10814019


>> No.10814027

>I don't like your post therefore reddit

your lack of metal power is appalling

>> No.10814210
File: 110 KB, 234x507, Butters'_Goo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10814240
File: 166 KB, 960x1400, 1518436794586.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw no 'vark in Melbourne

>> No.10814247

Well, excuse me Magneto

>> No.10814251

i would seriously fucking kill myself if i couldn't get 'vark

>> No.10814260

I would too, 'vark sauce is literally the only thing I look forward to when I get out of my bunk bed in the morning

>> No.10814318

It's worth every penny. We pay $14 a bottle here

>> No.10814624
File: 1001 KB, 640x480, 1498948212219.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Holy fuck, my sides are in orbit

>> No.10814762
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post of the year

>> No.10815295

Thank you!

>> No.10815332


I'm going to buy a bottle. This better be good considering the massive shilling this product gets.

>> No.10815340

Good goy, don't forget to buy the varkiety pack.

>> No.10815688

Ignore the haters, you won't regret it! If you do shoot me an email for a refund. No questions asked.

>> No.10815701

>the varkiety pack

I'll admit, this one gave me a kek.

>> No.10815708

Does your wife’s bull let you have ‘vark sauce in the house?

>> No.10815718

I don't have a wife, let alone one that owns a cattle ranch.

>> No.10815788

Iktfb :/

>> No.10815801

Secret Aardvark is favored by the cuckold community

>> No.10815830

Can anyone explain this phenomenon? Why does the sauce attract so many cuckolds?

>> No.10815834

It tastes like it has been used to death by somebody else.

>> No.10816648


>> No.10817515


Gotta be bait

>> No.10818239

Gotta be a cuck

>> No.10818454
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I literally can not eat enough of this sweet sauce. I love it so much.

During my initial tasting I set the mood with Casiopea's first self-titled album Casiopea (1979); which made the tasting more than a tasting or a sauce review. It was an experience, one that I'll never forget.

The sharp notes of vinegar pair well with the extreme, often-overbearing sweetness. The sweetness itself is akin to an artificial sweetener, but in truth the Secret Aardvark Trading Company only use pure cane sugar. When the sugar and the vinegar mix the sugar is dissolved into a purer form. This signature sweetness contrasts nicely with the mild heat emanating from sun dried, despiced habaneros fresh from the farms of indigenous farmers of the Qintana Roo state of the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico.

The sun-dried tomatoes make a delicate pairing with the habaneros and the sugar.
A mild Caribbean tone emanates from within the bottle.

The sauce goes nicely in a sweet bloody mary, on chicken tenders, veggie burgers, hot dogs, mac n cheese, raw silken tofu, edamame, haribo gummies, pocky, mochi, sushi, egg rolls, taco bell, chipotle and other authentic Mexican cuisines.

>> No.10818530
File: 24 KB, 540x459, 2pqcxptdpwty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>the Bell, haribo Gummi bears, and 'vark

>> No.10818832

I was in the middle of writing the same thing, but you beat me to it!

Great 'vark breakdown!

>> No.10819629

'vark bump

>> No.10819669

Don't you memeing faggots ruin Casiopea for me. I don't give a shit about this hot sauce that's being unironically shilled or whatever, but keep it in line.

>> No.10819738

I'm excited to see a post about Casiopea about as much as I am to see a post about Boredoms or a thread about Secret Aardvark. Which is to say not at all.

>> No.10819807


I swear this meme needs to die

>> No.10819821
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Tobasco saves me from bland food

>> No.10819887

>Saving the world from bland food
One job

>> No.10819921
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>> No.10819945

Tabasco is dope as fuck you dumb shit

>> No.10819964

Kek based

>> No.10819993


>> No.10820031

kek my dangus in rupture

>> No.10820036


This thread needs to die

>> No.10820044

best hot sauce is the one you make yourself, not that mass marketed shit that has no flavor & looks like diarrhea

>> No.10820224

I live in Redmond bruh, my family has been here for decades. Projection much?

>> No.10820247
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Fucking retard anon I read through the thread some more you didn’t call shit

>> No.10821075

pretty good

>> No.10821216

amazon or heatonist

>> No.10821255

yea but you get to see a Nirvana song when you enter the city.

>> No.10821258

Good one.

>> No.10821674

i think YOU are the one who needs to die

why would you post in /'vark/ general if you didn't want to discuss some delicious 'vark sauce?

>> No.10821680

if you can make a sauce better then 'vark with proof then i will give you my next allowance

>> No.10821908

Hello Mr.Secret Aardvark Trading Co. employee. Can you please stop this viral campaign for your shitty product? Social engineering is illegal.

>> No.10821914

>looks like diarrhea
'vark looks about as much like diarrhea as literally any other sauce. it's not even brown, it's just liquid.

>> No.10822278


This isn't a general thread. Plus you see how many threads there are for this product?

>> No.10822279


>> No.10822282

That's just because most people on /ck/ love 'vark sauce.

>> No.10822439

Yeah its based!

>> No.10823752

Some may even go so far as to say it's also epic. I am one of those people.

>> No.10823776

a hand full of anons like vark and a bunch of autsits have bandwaggoned onto the meme

>> No.10824413
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>hand full

>> No.10825018


>> No.10825129
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Has anyone had this? I bought it at the Halifax farmers market. It’s pretty good.

>> No.10825376

I've tried it and it was WAY too spicy for me, but it might just be that i'm so used to 'vark sauce

>> No.10825805

It's like 'vark sauce but hotter

>> No.10826178

>It's like 'vark sauce but hotter
But how can u eat it then?

>> No.10826783

You can't unless you only use a little bit, think the size of a dab from a toothpick

>> No.10827477

'vark bump

>> No.10827569

thank you

>> No.10827615


So it's better. Gotta go buy some.

>> No.10827626

Lol TacoTown is shit. Move to Seattle nigger

>> No.10827629

If you unironically think Eastern WA is better than western then you are the nigger

>> No.10828133

Oregon is better than Washington

>> No.10828372

This. Eastern WA is a literal desert populated by subhuman whitetrash.

>> No.10828381

How is it with tendies, and how many good boy points does it cost?

>> No.10828393

If you like tendies you will LOVE 'vark sauce. It usually costs 50 Good Hubby Points, but I am unsure of the conversion rate for GHP to GBP.

>> No.10829393

Oregon and Washington have so much soy in them they should be nuked. The rest of the country would rejoice if those 2 states were wiped off the fucking map

>> No.10829408

bought some today, this shit better not be a meme

>> No.10829503

its a meme

>> No.10829639

Add California and we good.

>> No.10829677

Well said!

>> No.10829924

metropolitan market

>> No.10829941

it's a tech city with a large percentage of males

>> No.10830706

>it's a pozzed city with a large percentage of soy milk chugging numales

>> No.10830848

The market for GBP is falling; buy GHP.

>> No.10830854

But I’m a literal nigger and everyone says that’s where niggers live.

>> No.10830921


Correct. Live in Tacoma. Lots of slutty white women. More so when you go down to Lakewood.

>> No.10832276


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