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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 27 KB, 320x263, fingerless-gloves-fedora.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10795199 No.10795199[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

>> No.10795204
File: 23 KB, 365x403, 1511765999264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10795204

>> No.10795210

>specifying that the coffee be black
isnt this the default anyway? the only place i know of that puts the sugar and cream in ahead of time is tim horton's

>> No.10795211

How does someone who knows about the fedora fat neckbeard meme bring themselves to wear one still?

>> No.10795231

Meh
I only drink espresso straight but that's cause white coffee is too fattening and black coffee tastes disgusting/sour/bitter.
Don't assume we think we're superior please.

>> No.10795286

Ordered black coffee once. Once.

I only managed to get it down 'cause women were watching. Took so much willpower to hide my grimaces.

Later went home and ate copious ice cream to try to recover.

>> No.10795288

>>10795199
That man in your picture definitely doesn't drink coffee black.

>> No.10795294
File: 590 KB, 1007x1478, tmp_9858-1529465519272(2)588512889.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10795294

>>10795199
Why do Americans make such a big deal out of people liking plain coffee?

>> No.10795315

>>10795294
It's literally only 4chan. Never once have I been to a coffee shop where anyone has to loudly pronounce they want a black coffee.

>> No.10795327

>>10795199
>imagine being so autistic that you write rants on a Lebanese carpet weaving forum because people like things that you don't like.

>> No.10795358

>>10795327
It's old copy pasta

>> No.10795364

i only drink ristretto's when at home and espresso i.e., 'coffee' when i go south to italy. putting milk and sugar and shit in coffee is a sign you have abd coffee

>> No.10795384

>>10795294
why you gotta do him like that momoa

>> No.10795385

>>10795286
what kind of pussy are you holy shit. please be gay or a women or else i will have to cringe into my chair.

>> No.10795388

>>10795199
learn to greentext

>> No.10795390

>>10795210
starbucks will put sugar in iced coffee if you don't specify, they usually ask but sometimes they don't.

>> No.10795395

>>10795204
>>10795210
>>10795211
>>10795231
>>10795286
>>10795288
>>10795294
>>10795315
>>10795327
>>10795364
>>10795384
>>10795385
>>10795388
>>10795390

Ur all cancerous cunty fags for entertaining this cancerous old copy pasta. Fucking kys.

>> No.10795403

>>10795395
autism.