Believable but Awful Restaurant Pitch

[Anonymous No.10730832]

co/ck/s, I need to pitch a business proposal to a group of investors within the next couple of week. However, for reasons I cannot explain at this time, I need it to be an absolute shit idea. Not so awful that they know I'm bombing on purpose, but something that they will a.) Never consider investing in and b.) they will remember for being a stupid idea. I can post another thread and explain after it's all said and done, and you'll probably get a hearty kek, but right now I cannot risk the investors catching on. I have some bad restaurant ideas myself, but I wanted to see if /ck/ could think of something good or would want to see a crazy idea presented IRL.

Shitposts welcome.

[Anonymous No.10730838]

>>10730832
>Oink oink muther fucker

[Anonymous No.10730863]

>>10730832
That pic kind of turns me on.

[Anonymous No.10730892]

>>10730832
a steakhouse with a kind of 'we ain't no nancy boys' image. everytime someone asks for a vegan option an alarm goes off like its someone's birthday and the staff bring out a huge plate of grass and moo like cows

[Anonymous No.10730895]

>>10730832
Vegan ice cream bar

[Anonymous No.10730907]

In awe at the size of this lad.

[Anonymous No.10730914]

In awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit.

[Anonymous No.10730923]

>>10730832
That's a big pig

[Anonymous No.10731021]

>>10730923
For y-y-y-y-y-you.

[Anonymous No.10731040]

Sushi, if your place is in bumfuck nowhere concerning the availability of fresh fish, specifically state - you are not going to be about filthy mayo rice rolls.

[Anonymous No.10731049]

Chuck-E-Cheese but for the elderly.

[Anonymous No.10731054]

>>10730832
A carolina whole-hog barbeque food truck in a left-leaning cosmopolitan city called "The Haram Guys".

[Anonymous No.10731056]

Hungarian restaurant

[Anonymous No.10731067]

How about a resturaunt where each table has a grill and theyre supposed to cook thier own steak or have a staff memeber cook it for an added fee?
It could be like one of those overpriced romantic spots thats all about the song and dance but the shits waaay overpriced and not remotely worth it.

[Anonymous No.10731069]

>>10730832
All local, vegan, gluten free, gender fluid make your own, family style sammish shop.

[Anonymous No.10731072]

>>10730832
British cuisine restaurant.

[Anonymous No.10731076]

>>10730832
A Chinese-themed gastropub called "The Scalding Dog"

[Anonymous No.10731091]

A Japanese style medieval restaurant with Samurai and geishas.

[Anonymous No.10731096]

>>10730832
Meme restaurant.
>rage faces
>pepe
>baneposting

[Anonymous No.10731109]

>>10731091
I like this one.

[Anonymous No.10731127]

Eastern Bloc circa 1960s themed restaurant serving only dishes available to a laborer behind the Iron Curtain at that time.

[Anonymous No.10731133]

>>10731091
Oh! Oh! Point out that sushi of that era was served pickled. Not raw. Insist on this point several times during the pitch.

[Anonymous No.10731136]

>>10731127
With angry Eastern European waitresses

[Anonymous No.10731137]

>>10730832
Assuming you're not in Europe

>a restaurant that specializes in french fries, onion rings, fish n' chips etc
>authentically served in todays newspapers like the brits

[Anonymous No.10731158]

Y'all faggots aren't thinking casually disgusting enough.

Picture this: A hip, eclectic dining room, but something's peculiar. The floors are covered in plastic sheeting. Each table has a central grill in the middle, but on a circular magnetic step around each chic hanging table light is an array of sharp cutlery. Instead of tableware, there's a bamboo cutting board at each seating.

When you enter, the host presents you with a clean white apron and escorts you to the patio, where there is, much to your surprise, what looks like a petting zoo. Chickens, ducks, piglets, perhaps even a lamb or young goat. The host information you that you pick the animal you wish to eat, and one of several culinary themes (Italian, Mexican, Chinese, etc). After which, a designated dispatcher will humanely kill the animal you choose and bring it to your table, along with various sauces, spices and vegetables matching your theme. The catch and gimmick of the restaurant is, you must clean, disembowel, and butcher the animal you choose before you can cook and eat it.

It sounds reasonable enough to those who know about the steakhouses that let you grill your own meat (and the sociopaths on here), but to a normal person it will be completely abhorrent and revolting, even in concept, never mind actual execution. OP will get shot down like a horse with a bum leg.

[Anonymous No.10731159]

>>10730892
rolling

[Anonymous No.10731162]

>>10730832
let me guess, you have a moderate idea you're not sure about so you want your buddy to pitch that one after you bomb it the first time to make them more receptive? good thinking, anon.

say you want to open a MAGA themed restaurant. decorated with stars&bars flags, pictures of donald trump and pepe memes and the staff wears maga hats. then be adamant that the point of the restaurant is about "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" first and foremost so you don't have to serve "certain people"

[Anonymous No.10731174]

restaurant called pho-cup serving pho in a cup, pronounced "fuckup"

[Anonymous No.10731185]

>>10731174
That's not a shit idea. That is a fantastic idea. Shit would go all Producers if he pitched that idea.

[Anonymous No.10731215]

>>10731162
>let me guess, you have a moderate idea you're not sure about so you want your buddy to pitch that one after you bomb it the first time to make them more receptive? good thinking, anon.
Not exactly. There's money tied up in this group's decision, and I stand to get all of it if I pull this off correctly.
Great ideas so far, guys. Particularly liking the Geisha sushi place.

[Anonymous No.10731225]

>>10731162
do this one but make sure you say that it will make lots of controversey, which will "be bad in the short term but america is really waking up so in the long term it will pay off"

they will be fucking running from the meeting after that

[Anonymous No.10731228]

>>10730832
Make your own pizza

[Anonymous No.10731232]

integrate it with local community - tell them you will source local food from allotments, pensioners and prisoners

[Anonymous No.10731233]

Video game themed bar.
Food will of course be greasy and terrible in general. The items will be named with cringy video game references.
Music consists exclusively of game soundtracks. Employees will have obnoxious nicknames and will be forced to greet customers with memorable catchphrases, increasing the awkwardness. Cardboard cutouts and lufe sized statues everywhere.

[Anonymous No.10731238]

A christian themed restaurant where only foods mentioned in the bible and not forbidden in leviticus are served. The waiters and waitresses all wear dirty robes and rope sandles, have long, unwashed greasy hair and semitic features like christ and the disciples. An automatic 10% tithe in addition to the meal cost and tip is added to fund gay conversion concentration torture camps. Only one chalice of soured wine per table is permitted that everyone drinks from and there are no eating utensils other than wooden bowls. A 15 minute prayer is required by each table before serving. All tv's play continual loops of the 700 Club. A sign is posted on the door forbidding entry of adults without evenly matched male/female couples or muslims.

[Anonymous No.10731240]

>>10730832
A Californian/Mexican/Italian fusion restaurant called MexiCalian.

[Anonymous No.10731255]

>>10730892
fucking lold
>>10730832
hope im around to see the updates on this
wanna know what its about

[Anonymous No.10731262]

>>10731215
Do you have a plan B? I mean, what if these guys are idiots and decide to fund the project as you pitched it? Do you have a plan to profit off of that?

[Anonymous No.10731278]

>>10730832
A grass-roots all-natural non-GMO vegan gluten-free cruelty-free eco-friendly "rawstaurant" that serves only raw uncooked food. Raw steak, raw fish, raw fruits and veggies, etc. Everything is served on a bed of lettuce like a plate.

[Anonymous No.10731286]

>>10731158
based

[Anonymous No.10731299]

>>10731262
>>10731262
Would be funny. I'm going to be recording the pitch and their response, so /ck/ will see whatever goes down. I would have to back out if they went all in, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

[Anonymous No.10731307]

>>10731158
>>10731162
>>10731225
These ones made me lose my shit

[Anonymous No.10731333]

>>10730832
Pitch an idea for a restaurant called 'Salt & Pepperless' where you claim those ingredients are a crutch and your menu will taste better without using salt and pepper, but rather artisinal spices

[Anonymous No.10731335]

I want to hear back from OP with him saying they thought whatever he decides on was a bold new concept and they threw so much money at him he has to do it

[Anonymous No.10731341]

>>10731233
There are 2 in Nashville that are very successful somehow

[Anonymous No.10731366]

>>10730832
A novelty mall chain restaurant blending the asian-american cuisine of P.F. Changs with the dining experience of Dick's Last Resort, serving Vietnamese-ish cuisine in Hue-themed digs, festooned with Viet-minh/Vietcong/NVA-themed memorabilia like a Buca Di Beppo, with a tasteful assortment of 1960s music playing in the background, punctuated by Hanoi Hannah-style scratchy broadcasts of an Asian woman's voice telling diners, in a thick Vietnamese accent, that they should relax and enjoy their meals, sort of like the talking animals at Bugaboo Creek. For added lulz, have the waitstaff act like Hanoi Hilton prison guards and have some sort of Russian roulette-themed random selection gag for the patrons. Make sure you have a killer under-$12 meal deal to pull in the lunch/business crowd from the office parks.

Call it
>Dien Bien Pho

[Anonymous No.10731373]

Hey OP, poster from >>10731158 again. Here's another freebie.

Imagine if you will: From the outside, an ultra modern high end restaurant facade, but once you enter and are greeted by the host, each member of your party is separated.

In the dining room, the aesthetic is late 90s office chic. Each diner sits at a desk in a tiny, noise isolated little cubicle, whereupon they may order their meal and eat and drink with very little interaction except from the server who brings their food. Rather than soft, ambient music, a low white nose hisses continually, also helping to mask the noises of other patrons and the kitchen. The entire theme of the restaurant is to relax in solitude and have a fine meal.

Again, while this might appeal to robots or the socially awkward, to any normal person (especially socially outgoing types) it will be utterly intolerable.

[Anonymous No.10731384]

how about yet another f****** pulled pork joint? everybody's got to be sick of pulled pork by now

[Anonymous No.10731388]

>>10731137
>Todays newspaper
It's 2018, serve food on Samsung tablets.

[Anonymous No.10731389]

>>10731373
this sounds amazing

also there should be an unrealistically small but non-trivial chance of some rando barging into the cubicle and going "hey can you help me with something I can't get this pile of shit to compile" right when your mouth has food in it, it shouldn't happen to everyone but it should be a constant threat, thereby making the solitude that much more precious

[Anonymous No.10731397]

>>10731054
If the food was good and cheap that would fly in my liberal New England city. More so if you could run it in the designated office worker bar district. The left newspapers might whine a bit but your customer base won't give a shit. In fact it would give you free advertising. But that runs counter to what you want to do so forget it.

[Anonymous No.10731403]

>>10731373
Don't forget to mention the lack of wifi as well as a "cell phone jammer" to ensure that customer's phones don't work on the premises, therefore elimintating all distractions and allowing them to better contemplate their meal. If that doesn't trigger screaming from the room I don't know what will.

[Anonymous No.10731404]

>>10731373
This sounds like heaven tbqhfam

[Anonymous No.10731406]

A place where you pick out the live chickens and pigs you want cooked up for you

[Anonymous No.10731409]

Waiters on roller skates but only ice skates also they're butch lesbians in hockey jerseys and none of the tables or chairs are secured down at all

[Anonymous No.10731417]

>>10730832
I really have to know where you're locating this because all the retard ideas I see have a decent to medium shot at working where I am.

[Anonymous No.10731423]

>>10731174
There is literally a restaurant chain called "what the pho" in my area, but that's even better

[Anonymous No.10731424]

A restaurant where you have to rhyme all the time, if the customer orders without prose then it's out the door he goes

[Anonymous No.10731425]

Every meal is laced with DMT.

[Anonymous No.10731426]

>>10730832
An American-Chinese place where the gimmick is customized fortunes in the fortune cookies. While you dine the staff listens to your conversation via hidden microphones. Then customized fortunes are delivered to the table based on what the patrons were discussing.

[Anonymous No.10731428]

>>10731417
Portland, OR. I can say that much but I really can't go into too much detail.

[Anonymous No.10731432]

An American style diner only open between the hours of 7pm-3am. The wait staff is comprised entirely of high school girls or women 40+. Every meal requires an alcoholic beverage to be accompanied with it and there’s a restaurant jester who wanders around sitting with the patrons just to drop shitty puns and red pills.

[Anonymous No.10731433]

>>10731397
That was my idea and I believe I am from the same liberal New England city as you are, and yes, particularly after the marathon, I could see it doing quite well here. I mean, look at how successful Marylou's and its latte lolis is on the South Shore. We love entertainingly tasteless.

I was thinking it would really trigger folks somewhere with less of a sense of humor though, somewhere like NYC, DC, or especially the Bay Area.

[Anonymous No.10731436]

>>10731162
Actually I can't improve on this. Of course you "Welcome" all people but subtly Jim Crow it.

[Anonymous No.10731439]

>>10731233
>>10731341
There used to be 2 in the Seattle area too, but one of them closed

[Anonymous No.10731457]

>>10730832
A Scottish-themed novelty restaurant called MacDonald's

[Anonymous No.10731459]

>>10731215
I would eat at a Geisha themed place if it was good and I think alot of people would. That could easily go Producers on you.

[Anonymous No.10731462]

>>10731439
Wait so is the food they serve intentionally greasy fingerfood type shit? Wouldn't that get the controllers all greasy?

[Anonymous No.10731472]

A sushi restaurant, but where all the seafood is canned and you use that as a selling point

[Anonymous No.10731480]

>>10730832
A vegan fast food joint, styled like pic related, and called S o y Boy

[Anonymous No.10731484]

>>10731457
McHaggis

[Anonymous No.10731487]

>>10731462
Yeah pretty much. The games also got stolen a lot.

[Anonymous No.10731493]

>>10731484
Exactly!

[Anonymous No.10731503]

>>10731049
kekt

[Anonymous No.10731505]

>>10730832
mirin'

[Anonymous No.10731522]

>>10731433
Yeah Marylou's on the Irish Riviera. I think your idea would work here,Long Island,and Manhattan. Not so much with the bridge and tunnel crowd. San Fran he'd get firebombed or run out by the City. Maybe L.A. D.C.? A toss-up.

[Anonymous No.10731527]

>>10731480
Kek

[Anonymous No.10731537]

BYOF (bring your own food) restaurant. You can rent server costumes and tableware by the hour.

[Anonymous No.10731542]

>>10731522
I live in the mid-atlantic now and I try to explain Marylou's to my coworkers as >remember that South Park episode with the fake Hooters that had underaged girls and was called Raisins?
>Imagine if it were real and sold coffee

[Anonymous No.10731546]

Are they dumb enough to fall for an overpriced 50s diner theme? Lazy but you never know.

[Anonymous No.10731593]

>>10731542
Actually I like Marylou's but I'm a youngfag. 24 to be exact. It's what Chik-Fil-A wants to be but they boxed themselves in by playing the religion card to hard. If they aggressively expand up here they could play the fake loli card and win until they're waitresses started overdosing on benzos and fentanyl. On the plus side it would put a lot of single mothers on the methadone clinic to work.

[Anonymous No.10731620]

>>10731593
I'm a youngfag at heart (32) but I still went there a ton when I worked on the South Shore. Too bad I worked in Brockton where the talent at the one by the VA was fucking atrocious. The one off 3 in Marshfield and the one across the street from Jordan Hospital in Plymouth were fucking god-tier though.

And yeah, living in MD now, the Chick Fil-As in the rural counties are like Marylou's on steroids, and the counter girls there are all so pure and wholesome in that farm girl sort of way that you feel like something out of a Nabokov novel just going there.

At least with Marylou's you could tell that 2/3rds the girls there were well on their way to being 20-something Dunkin Donuts girls, lol.

[Anonymous No.10731638]

Just do Dumb Starbucks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0TRpGP8yH4

[Anonymous No.10731682]

>>10731096
>>10730832
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/threemusketeers/meme-restaurant

[Anonymous No.10731692]

>>10730832
Just show them this. You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.10731725]

>>10731021
upvoted

[Anonymous No.10731733]

>>10730832
A fondue restaurant. You'll have all kinds of cheese fonduing, and all types of meats to dip. For dessert, chocolate, caramel, and hard candy fondues with fruits, and candies to use as dipping.

You can call it "The Fondue Fountain"

[Anonymous No.10731747]

>>10731373
This basically exists, and is called Ichiran. It's a popular ramen chain in Japan and there's a location in NYC now.

[Anonymous No.10731752]

>>10730832
Customers pay a standard fee and are offered one marble which they then deposit into a pachinko mahine. They meal you'll be having depends on the outcome with meals ranging from gourmet dishes to prison food

[Anonymous No.10731775]

>>10730832
A French restaurant where the staff is all but invisible to the customers. Orders are done through tablets. Food is slid to the table from behind a curtain or lowered from above. Empty dishes vanish as if by magic. The entertainment consists of a single mime in the middle of the room.

[Anonymous No.10731786]

>>10731775
>The entertainment consists of a single mime in the middle of the room.
Bravo.

[Anonymous No.10731803]

Pound Town. Every dish weighs a pound.

[Anonymous No.10731842]

A photography-themed restaurant, where parties are seated in individual darkrooms.
Food is served on photographic plates. Drinks are served in glasses resembling lenses.
The darkrooms are lit only using red light, giving the food unnatural colours.

[Anonymous No.10731853]

>>10731803

>Anon, how was your date?
>Awesome, I took her to Pound Town

ha ha ha i get the joke

This one could go producers on you in a big way, though.

[Anonymous No.10731857]

>>10731428
Portland? Go for a heavily patriotic/Christian theme. Serve early and modern American dishes, from Jefferson's baked mac'n'cheese, to burgers and fries with authentic mushroom ketchup.

The server will lead the table in a short prayer, which everyone will have to observe decorum throughout, before he or she will serve the meal.

[Anonymous No.10731888]

>>10731733
That sounds like something you'd put in a boutique store in a mall, say, near the food court but not within it.

[Anonymous No.10731991]

>>10731428
Portland....
A Secret Aardvark themed restaurant where every table has 2-4 Nintendo Switch consoles?

[Anonymous No.10732059]

Rawmen, the world’s first Raw Noodle Restaurant + Gay Bar.
Every dish needs an awful name, like Tuna + Raw Soba being called the Kanye West (Gay Fish).
Baby Carrots, Veal, and Ramen being called the Spacey Special.
Dishes named after Stonewall Riots, AIDS crisis, Milo, other awful things to happen to the gay community.

[Anonymous No.10732086]

Open a restaurant with the slogan "authentic chinese cuisine" that only serves thai food, where all employees are from Korea and the name of the restaurant is in japanese.
The only condiment should be heinz ketchup that's got dry ketchup all over the cap, and you should play Indian music in the restaurant.
Make the meals really small but very expensive, and hide all of this under the guise of being diverse, let a female turk with uni brow serve the food and call her transgendered.
Pay the women 30% less and make sure one of them complains about it to the point of exposing you for it on the Internet, then when you're marked as a sexist and sued, then shut down the company and start working for a watchfactory.

[Anonymous No.10732165]

>>10731733
>A fondue restaurant. You'll have all kinds of cheese fonduing, and all types of meats to dip. For dessert, chocolate, caramel, and hard candy fondues with fruits, and candies to use as dipping.
>You can call it "The Fondue Fountain"
So, the Melting Pot?
https://www.meltingpot.com/

[Anonymous No.10732216]

>>10731752
Sounds fun. What's the price for the marble?

[Anonymous No.10732221]

>>10731752
That would be pretty cool to open in Vegas.

[Anonymous No.10732635]

>>10731426
What's that short film called?

[Anonymous No.10733072]

S&M themed restaurant where the leather bound staff degrades you while you eat

[Anonymous No.10733175]

>>10731136
>pardon, ma'am. My goulash is a bit thin. Could I get a little more meat?
>KURWA! BOWL IS ENOUGH FEED FAMILY OF SIX, FAT AMERYKANSKI!

[Anonymous No.10733310]

>>10730832
a restaurant where no seasonings are used
>no garlic
>no salt
>no pepper
>no basil, etc
This is actually a potential new health craze, and probably supposedly "resets your palette" so you can truly appreciate the flavors of the foods you're eating (aka prison food). I overheard a vegan type guy telling his friend about this before a yoga class in a very trendy area probably close to a year ago

[Anonymous No.10733406]

>>10730832
Cute butt

[Anonymous No.10733688]

Any type of restaurant

but the gimmick is the entire restaurant staff is war vets. Or hobos. Or convicts.

This can be pitched in a virtue signalling way

[Anonymous No.10733733]

>>10730832
Okokok I’ve had this idea for a while now but get this


Upside down restaurant
I know what your thinking “would the guests be upside down?” No just the staff and tables.

Picture it. Guests walk in through the front door and they are standing on the ceiling with the fans and everything (watch those ankles) they walk up to be directly below the order counter. The staff which is held onto the floor ceiling with either magnets or some sort of leg brace contraption would take their order. Now as far as cooking upside down your kinda limited so no frying really but the cooks could prolly hold stuff onto the flat top with their spatulas. The servers would drop the dish hopefully into the hands of the hungry customers below.

[Anonymous No.10733902]

>>10730832
like hooters, but for ass men instead of boob men

[Anonymous No.10733909]

>>10730832
Might be better to ask /biz/ and generally any restaurant is bad enough not to invest in but entertaining thread nevertheless OP

[Anonymous No.10733952]

>totally reasonable suggestion like a generic sports bar
>Terrible location to cut costs, preferably high crime and poverty

[Anonymous No.10733961]

>>10733952
Alternatively
>Discount option like a low cost ramen bar or sandwich shop
>Extremely expensive location under the excuse "i need that much foot traffic to make rent"

[Anonymous No.10733964]

>>10730832
Springtime for Hitler. A vegetarian restaurant based on Hitler's dietary regime.

[Anonymous No.10733989]

>>10731136
This would actually be really popular where I'm from

[Anonymous No.10734037]

>>10733989
The Jail Bird, a prison themed restaurant with actual prison food by Sodexo catering. Cut costs by hiring waiters who are actual ex-convicts. The more face tattoos the better. Cutlery made from filed down toothbrushes. Hire actors to recreate shankings at random times. Toilet wine. Special menu item is called a jailbreak and whenever someone orders it searchlights turn on and a siren wails for five minutes as armed personelle run around with flashlights, screaming at people to get down.

Think Medieval Times meets Oz.

[Anonymous No.10734048]

Authentic 1950's diner with no blacks.

[Anonymous No.10734164]

>>10731049
So a fucking casino?

[Anonymous No.10734169]

>>10730832
#metoo

It's a restaurant like Dicks Last Resort, except the waiters grope and sexualize female patrons. There will be a sign on the door agreeing to consent by walking in the door. All food is either shaped like dicks or phallic in nature.

[Anonymous No.10734206]

>>10731091
Japan already has stuff like ninja themed cafe, so assuming there isn't also already a samurai themed, I'd say it's not outlandish and people would actually seriously consider investing in that.

[Anonymous No.10734226]

>>10731803
Fucking kek'd

[Anonymous No.10734247]

>>10730832
An ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH? Theme Spicy Restaurant with soups, BBQ, chili, curries, etc and a huge variety of fresh peppers and spices with scoville ratings of each item on the menu. Your final bill gets cheaper the higher scoville tier of your total order. If you order some absurd Stuffed Carolina Reaper-based App and can wait 10 minutes after eating before drinking anything your meal is free.

[Anonymous No.10734251]

>>10732086
>let a female turk with uni brow serve the food and call her transgendered.
Holy shit, this bit genuinely had me laughing.

[Anonymous No.10734256]

>>10733072
They're called Tsundere Cafe in Japan.

>>10734206
Japan has a shit ton of gimmicky restaurants, don't they.

[Anonymous No.10734287]

>>10730832
Post apocalyp theme restaurant that has barely any lighting. Wait staff are wearing torn up clothes. Food is served on whatever pieces of metal there is at a junkyard. Silverware is old and dingy The restaurant will specialize in pasta. Its name will be post-a-pastalypse

[Anonymous No.10734298]

>>10731389
>also there should be an unrealistically small but non-trivial chance of some rando barging into the cubicle and going "hey can you help me with something I can't get this pile of shit to compile" right when your mouth has food in it

Fucking kek

[Anonymous No.10734307]

>>10731373
>a low white nose hisses continually
I'm fine with everything but this bit. Make it absolute silence like lock me in a soundproof room of a cubicle and I'll happily be an investor.

[Anonymous No.10734311]

>>10733733

[Anonymous No.10734327]

>>10731432
this is just dennys

[Anonymous No.10734535]

>>10730832
ultra casual fine dining.

fine dining restaurants are failing because people want to be more casual these days. there needs to be a fine dining restaurant that doesn't ask people to dress up.

daily prix-fixe menu. the foh staff wears sweatpants or basketball shorts and hoodies with flip-flops. there's a lot of televisions around that and they are always showing wrestling or mild pornography.

[Anonymous No.10734543]

>>10733688
a restaurant where all of the staff is at least 300 lbs.

[Anonymous No.10734673]

>>10733733

˙ʍolǝq sɹǝɯoʇsnɔ ʎɹƃunɥ ǝɥʇ ɟo spuɐɥ ǝɥʇ oʇui ʎllnɟǝdoɥ ɥsip ǝɥʇ doɹp plnoʍ sɹǝʌɹǝs ǝɥ┴ ˙sɐlnʇɐds ɹiǝɥʇ ɥʇiʍ doʇ ʇɐlɟ ǝɥʇ oʇuo ɟɟnʇs ploɥ ʎlloɹd plnoɔ sʞooɔ ǝɥʇ ʇnq ʎllɐǝɹ ƃuiʎɹɟ ou os pǝʇiɯil ɐpuiʞ ɹnoʎ uʍop ǝpisdn ƃuiʞooɔ sɐ ɹɐɟ sɐ ʍoN ˙ɹǝpɹo ɹiǝɥʇ ǝʞɐʇ plnoʍ uoiʇdɐɹʇuoɔ ǝɔɐɹq ƃǝl ɟo ʇɹos ǝɯos ɹo sʇǝuƃɐɯ ɹǝɥʇiǝ ɥʇiʍ ƃuiliǝɔ ɹoolɟ ǝɥʇ oʇuo plǝɥ si ɥɔiɥʍ ɟɟɐʇs ǝɥ┴ ˙ɹǝʇunoɔ ɹǝpɹo ǝɥʇ ʍolǝq ʎlʇɔǝɹip ǝq oʇ dn ʞlɐʍ ʎǝɥʇ (sǝlʞuɐ ǝsoɥʇ ɥɔʇɐʍ) ƃuiɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ puɐ suɐɟ ǝɥʇ ɥʇiʍ ƃuiliǝɔ ǝɥʇ uo ƃuipuɐʇs ǝɹɐ ʎǝɥʇ puɐ ɹoop ʇuoɹɟ ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥʇ ui ʞlɐʍ sʇsǝnפ ˙ʇi ǝɹnʇɔiԀ

˙sǝlqɐʇ puɐ ɟɟɐʇs ǝɥʇ ʇsnɾ oN ”¿uʍop ǝpisdn ǝq sʇsǝnƃ ǝɥʇ plnoʍ“ ƃuiʞuiɥʇ ɹnoʎ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ I
ʇuɐɹnɐʇsǝɹ uʍop ǝpisd∩


siɥʇ ʇǝƃ ʇnq ʍou ǝliɥʍ ɐ ɹoɟ ɐǝpi siɥʇ pɐɥ ǝʌ’I ʞoʞoʞO

[Anonymous No.10734857]

>>10731424
underrated post

[Anonymous No.10734881]

>>10733964
MAGA fags would like it

[Anonymous No.10734884]

Instead of a cat cafe a pit bull cafe

[Anonymous No.10735819]

Food fight cafeteria

[Anonymous No.10735827]

Top kek, I want to use so many of these. Not to be a homo, but you co/ck/s did not disappoint

[Anonymous No.10735837]

>>10730832
Something that copies Medieval Times, like make it pirate or Samurai themed.

[Anonymous No.10735844]

What about a Waiting (movie) themed restaurant? Like talk about how you want it to be just like in the film, and how you would build a carbon copy of the restaurant complete with uniforms and cardboard cut outs of the characters to take pictures with. When the investors say that's too out of left field for them or too cheesy, try and pitch to them the exact idea behind Hooters but constantly remind them "it's modernized, totally different from anything we've seen" despite not giving any indication of anything being different.

[Anonymous No.10735848]

>>10734164
L E L
E
L

[Anonymous No.10735853]

Aight so picture this. It's a restaurant right? people come in and they expect the typical restaurant experience. Good service, great food and an enjoyable ambiance. Instead, and this is where things kind of go a little extreme...we fuck them. We lock the doors, and we fuck them. Not metaphorically either, we literally have our staff force them into sexual acts. Then when our staff is finished with them, the doors are unlocked and they are free to go.

[Anonymous No.10735886]

>>10731238
This would fucking kill in central Florida

[Anonymous No.10735891]

>>10731278
This is a thing in Oregon

[Anonymous No.10736050]

>>10731021
Underrated comment.

[Anonymous No.10736109]

Cafe Africa where after you start your dinner they project the images of bloated starving children and then hit you up for donations.

[Anonymous No.10736474]

>>10731021
Why does this image exist

[Anonymous No.10736657]

You can only order food from your own culture. Of course if you look white they'll ask you where your ancestors are from because white people love that shit. It will get in 'trouble' for thinking someone (probably a columnist for some site) isn't white when they really are. Go one step further and have a chef on staff for every different culture.

[Anonymous No.10736696]

It's a regular New American restaurant but upon entry you have to fill out a Privilege Card.

>+5 for being white
>-5 for missing a limb
>+10 for having an income of over 250k/year (must provide tax records to prove)
>+2 for being at least 6 feet tall
>-2 for excessive acne
>etc.

At the end the bill is scaled up or down depending on the number of privilege points you have. The more privilege you have, the more you pay. The catch is, every night the average privilege point score is the starting point for the next night, which means if an average-privileged person's meal's cost is multiplied by 1.

So if you're very privileged, you have an incentive to bring more privileged people into the restaurant to increase the average and reduce your costs. So the end result is your restaurant seems to cater to the poor but will more likely be filled rich attractive white people.

[Anonymous No.10736822]

>>10734535
are you retarded? he asked for shit ideas.

[Anonymous No.10736883]

>>10731233
Barcades are amazing though

[Anonymous No.10736886]

>>10731384
I have never seen a pulled pork joint

[Anonymous No.10736901]

>>10731682
They had basically this exact same thing in my town. In bombed in a couple months

[Anonymous No.10736917]

Staff wear pic related. Everything else is normal.

[Anonymous No.10736955]

Hood's

A really upscale restaurant where they serve those pretentious plates of food like pic related and play classical music. But here's the twist, these restaurants are in the worst fucking ghettos imaginable. Like deep in the fucking hood. Everyone's table is lined up against bulletproof windows and there are those binocular things you see at certain places that you put a quarter in so they can watch people sell drugs and commit crimes while dining on the fanciest of fancy foods.

[Anonymous No.10736962]

>>10733964
i hope Fuhrer cake is on the dessert menu

[Anonymous No.10736967]

>>10736955
So basically Faro except with nice music instead of Arcade Fire and Bon Iver

[Anonymous No.10736969]

>>10736955
Good idea, just make binoculars free and at every table

[Anonymous No.10736980]

>>10736955
Don't forget the armored car chauffeur service.

[Anonymous No.10736984]

>>10736955
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/12/lax-private-terminal-rich-people-celebrities

>There were many guilty pleasures showcased at Los Angeles international airport’s (LAX) new private terminal for the mega-rich: the plush, hushed privacy, the beds with comforters, the massages, the coriander-scented soap, the Willy Wonka-style array of chocolates and jelly beans, and the Napa Valley cabernet.
>But my eye was taken by an iPad that sat on a counter at the entrance, with a typed little note: “Here is a glimpse of what you’re missing over at the main terminal right now.”
>The screen linked to videos of travelers looking harassed and being swallowed into pushing, shoving paparazzi scrums – routine hazards for the 80 million people who pass through LAX each year.
>“There they process thousands of people at a time, they’re barking. It’s loud. Here it’s very, very lovely,” said Gavin de Becker, who runs the new terminal, called Private Suite.
>He wasn’t wrong. The $22m facility, the first of its kind in the US, opens on Monday, giving the 1% a whole new way to separate themselves from everyone else’s reality.

[Anonymous No.10736985]

>>10736969
Yeah, these things. I'd probably put two at each table and maybe even a little police scanner so you can listen to it while watching people get arrested. Everyone would of course have that obnoxious rich person laugh
>oh ho ho ho, darling look, that deplorable brute just carjacked that pregnant woman. Quick Warren, turn on the scanner, I would like to hear this.

[Anonymous No.10737018]

Somali pirate themed restaurant.

East African cuisine made with genuine USAID rice and what not. Decor is corrugated steel walls, dirt floor, plywood tables, and copious amounts of rusted Russian surplus guns on the walls. All the food is cooked by Somali migrants over a culturally authentic cow dung and driftwood fire. Waiters are dressed and act like pirates, waving guns in the faces of patrons and forcing them to order quickly. Patrons pay for their meal by placing cash into a briefcase to buy their way out of the "hostage situation." If a patron can fight their way out, their meal is free.

[Anonymous No.10737068]

A lobster restaurant with a coliseum theme. Lobster gladiator fights are ongoing in a large central tank. Loser gets eaten.

[Anonymous No.10737078]

>>10737018
lol, the rice also has to be rice that was intended for starving people but seized by local warlords and sold to your restaurant.

[Anonymous No.10737087]

>>10730832
whats it called when you buttfuck a male pig then immediately slaughter and cook it?

[Anonymous No.10737089]

>>10736985
those things in your pic are being made since 1932 by the same company, and only about 35 are produced each year in a small two-story house in east norwalk with only 6 employees.

pic related, the company

[Anonymous No.10737127]

>>10737087
Haram

[Anonymous No.10737129]

A warehouse themed restaurant. Pretty much the entire place is a tiny warehouse and patrons have to sit on wooden crates, a stack of pallets or overturned trashcans and eat their food out of their laps. The meals are pretty much TV diners brought out to you by a guy on a propane forklift in ragged looking lunchboxes or plastic grocery bags tied with a knot. To add to the atmosphere there's a constant haze of sawdust and cigarette smoke floating around, the sounds of power tools being run somewhere out of sight, and every once in a while you're hear someone crash into the racks or drop a whole load of something on the floor from their forklift.

[Anonymous No.10737163]

>>10731133

This. Signs of social ineptitude and incompetence, such things like repeating lines like this when they've had sushi and wouldn't eat it pickled, are a HUGE red flag for investors

[Anonymous No.10737167]

>>10737129
Hipsters would eat there and give it rave reviews because it really "connected them with the working class spirit" or something.

[Anonymous No.10737334]

>>10731692
>Cook very raw
What did Andrew mean by this? Not even meming I seriously want to know what the fuck that is supposed to mean

[Anonymous No.10737481]

there was an empty space in my neighborhood that was leased by a couple of beardos who were planning on selling smoked fish.

they spent a year building it out, it never opened, and a different restaurant is there now.

so smoked fish the best answer.

[Anonymous No.10737509]

>>10737018
Gotta be real enough to think it is a real business plan so have a system in place for BOH turnover and shrinkage (employee theft)

[Anonymous No.10737528]

>>10737089
Introduce the business to steal their market by subsidizing the design to Chinese engineers by stealing one

[Anonymous No.10737541]

>>10730832
All the employees have AIDS and the main ingredient in all the dishes is placenta

[Anonymous No.10737589]

>>10734169
This but pronounce it " pound me too"

[Anonymous No.10737623]

>>10730832
Take a page from Toronto.

Restaurant that employs only HIV+ cooks.

Dining there is a social statement that you are not homophobic and ableist or some shit.

[Anonymous No.10738018]

It would be called "Cover" and would feature exact recipe replicas of famous dishes from famous chefs and restaurants from around the world.

I don't know man, investors can be pretty stupid. Are they dumb money or smart money because they might go for this. And hell, it might even work, who knows, Americans are stupid. I know I am and would totally go to this restaurant. I mean I don't understand how so many restaurants are still in business it's a mystery.

[Anonymous No.10738074]

>>10731842

Can it have IMAX and 3D glasses and everyone is on LSD? It could be like a blank canvas and have different themes. Would kill in touristy spots. I mean dinner theater works so why not.

[Anonymous No.10738109]

>>10730892
my sides

[Anonymous No.10738141]

>>10731747
Thats much much different from what was just described.

[Anonymous No.10738147]

A restaurant with the same hospital theme as Heart Attack Grill, but serving actual hospital food.

[Anonymous No.10738158]

>>10730832
Release the Hounds: a Rundown Cafe... Special of the Day: whatever the dogs brought in last night
Top tier menu: Go out in the truck with the dogs, spot your meal and release the hounds! Extra charge for ground dwellers due to digging time...
If the dogs miss, we can get it with the truck. ($299 extra charge if you want to drive the truck)

[Anonymous No.10739366]

>>10730892
lost and roll

[Anonymous No.10739386]

>>10738158
I would unironically eat there.

[Anonymous No.10739387]

>>10731174
>restaurant in my city called Pho Kim Long
Do they know?

[Anonymous No.10739388]

>>10731373
>eat and drink with very little interaction except from the server who brings their food.

Fuck that. Literally make it an office where you sit at your desk in a cubical to eat are constantly getting interrupted by phone calls, emails and faxes from other people in the 'office'.

[Anonymous No.10739392]

>>10731537
I legit love the 'we cook what you catch' places. Perfect way to end a day of fishing.

[Anonymous No.10739416]

>>10730892

I'm vegan and I would happily pay to have a bunch of restaurant staff sing and call me a faggot for ordering a meatless dish. I've probably corrupted my normal social sensibilities by watching too much Impractical Jokers. I'm a weirdo now.

[Anonymous No.10739448]

>>10730895
"Just ice, no cream."™

[Anonymous No.10739486]

9-11 memorial gyro shop, with 2 "twin towers" of rotating gyro meat, and each time you slice off some meat, you have the sounds of people screaming and hitting the ground. the knives can look like planes. when ready, the servers call out "allah akbar" and your name.

[Anonymous No.10739489]

>>10734256
What about a Japanese maid cafe?
>all the waitstaff are dressed in maid outfits
>they're supposed to be very demure and submissive, kneeling when they pour you drinks and calling you master
>basically, customers are treated like the restaurant is their house, and they're being served by their maids rather than waiters

There's one in LA (the only one in the US), but the only thing they share with Japanese cafes are the outfits. It seems plausible enough because it has been done in Japan, but would get rejected for being misogynistic

[Anonymous No.10739497]

>>10737623
better, have them all have active tuberculosis, mumps, measles, or hepatitis a or b. yum

[Anonymous No.10739505]

>>10730832
Great Depression era themed restaurant & food

[Anonymous No.10739515]

>>10730832
Tribal Cannibal theme
Everything is the most stereotypical headhunter african bush people aesthetic you can think of, and the food is all pork cut to look like bits of people.
The menus are just lists of names. You order "Steve" or "Anne"

[Anonymous No.10739526]

>>10732059
get back in your closet, queer

[Anonymous No.10739638]

A caveman/prehistoric themed restraunt. When a customer/group/family arrives they are to disrobe and optional animal skins are provided to wear though not manditory. Each seating area is modeled to be a cave with a wood fire in the center and stone seats, no table. The only utensiles provided are obsidian knives and sticks. The only light source is from the fires. The menu only consists of fruits, nuts, root crops, bones with marrow, fire cooked meat, and water. Meat is served charred black on the outside and bloody rare.

[Anonymous No.10739659]

>>10739515
Amd if you order Anne you just get a bowl of ashes :)

[Anonymous No.10739663]

>>10731174
There's a place near me called pho king

[Anonymous No.10739669]

>>10731233
>greet customers with memorable catchphrases
they have to be catchphrases from game characters.

[Anonymous No.10739681]

>>10733688
a restaurant where the entire staff has PhDs

[Anonymous No.10739685]

>>10730892

fuckin lol

[Anonymous No.10739694]

>>10739388
Underrated post. The different members of the party could interact with each other via faxes and memos, and basically any other 90s office kitsch

[Anonymous No.10739717]

>>10731333
Are you the original Salt & Pepperless anon?

[Anonymous No.10739726]

>>10731432
>An American style diner only open between the hours of 7pm-3am. The wait staff is comprised entirely of high school girls or women 40+. Every meal requires an alcoholic beverage to be accompanied with it and there’s a restaurant jester who wanders around sitting with the patrons just to drop shitty puns and red pills.
I would unironically like this

[Anonymous No.10739734]

>>10730892
OP asked for bad ideas not brilliant ones

[Anonymous No.10739738]

>>10734673

[Anonymous No.10739788]

>>10731067
thats the best idea, basically present a western fine dining restaurant / korean bbq mashup with very high prices and without knowing the legal specifics and permits you need

[Anonymous No.10740019]

>>10736474
Abidabidabidba no survivors....

[Anonymous No.10740337]

>>10731423
>not "what the phuk"

[Anonymous No.10740412]

Choppers -were you have to reach between whirling blades to reach your food

[6 Rings and 2 Revolts Nigguh !I/UiZhy8og No.10740435]

>>10730892

[Anonymous No.10740446]

>>10730892
Fucking lost m8

[Anonymous No.10740447]

>>10730892
Doesn't Planet Fitness do something like this if someone actually tries to work out there?

[Anonymous No.10740463]

>>10740447
yeah its called the lunk alarm. an employee will activate it if you grunt or drop the weights in a 'toxically masculine' fashion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXP6WaVTJpM

[Anonymous No.10740480]

What about an all you can eat steakhouse, but the whole staff shames people for eating too much. Also all waiters, no waitresses, and they have to be buff farm boys who wear booty shorts that clearly show off a bulge, and tied off crop tops

[Anonymous No.10740499]

>>10740480
kek

[Anonymous No.10740689]

fursuit cafe

[Anonymous No.10741631]

>>10731803
You idiot, you made an ironically good idea.

[Anonymous No.10741664]

>>10731238
This actually sounds interesting though, and would probably see enormous success in some places in America (especially if you take out the semitic element)

[Anonymous No.10741713]

It's a upscale French restaurant and all ingredients including sauces are made from scratch for every meal.
When you order an item the waiter presents you with unnumbered flashcards containing each step of the recipe. The steps should be relatively independent of each other.so they can be performed in most orders, so one step from a traditional recipe would be broken up into multiple flashcards. Around fifty flashcards for complicated recipes like coq au vin, say.
You have ten minutes to put it in the right order (smartphones banned), then the chef makes it exactly as specified. If there's a logical contradiction (add the balsamic reduction before making the reduction), then the chef ceases preparation immediately and throws everything in the garbage. But you still have to pay.

[Anonymous No.10741775]

The gimmick is you have a cow as your waiter that is wearing full bow-tie waiter gear, and you have a woman lead the cow around the restaurant by a rope. The cow has a white board hanging from it's neck, you instruct the guest to order by writing their order themselves on the whiteboard. If the guest wishes, complementary hay will be given to feed the cow. Children are allowed to ride the cow and pretend to be the waiter master for a small fee.

[Anonymous No.10741897]

>>10737018
>waving guns in the faces of patrons and forcing them to order quickly
Kek that conjures up quite the visual

[Anonymous No.10741907]

>>10739486
9/11 really is the gift that keeps on giving

[Anonymous No.10742041]

pub style restaurant with a french food theme
call it "Le Pube"

[Anonymous No.10742989]

>>10731158
could i kill my own pig?

[Anonymous No.10743070]

>>10730832
A brick and mortar coffeeshop based around the Soy Boy meme.

[Anonymous No.10743075]

Furries petting cafe

[Anonymous No.10743089]

>>10731424
Fuckin lold

[Anonymous No.10743101]

>>10731432
Lol

[Anonymous No.10743107]

Autism cafe-all the food seperated and arranged to color and shape . Peas set up in a grid pattern ect

[Anonymous No.10743116]

>>10743070
It would have Mario & Luigi and Rick & Morty posters all over the walls and their signature drink would be called The Big Bernie.

[Anonymous No.10743122]

>>10741713
Kek, genius.

[Anonymous No.10743214]

>>1073083

Investors will appreciate you wanting to do all the interior design yourself, especially if you have no experience or training. Stress how its a passion of yours and you will not be swayed on your vision. Do some bad illustrations of what you want the restaurant to look like and present them. Mention how you aren't that interested in food but really want to setup a restaurant.

[Anonymous No.10743249]

>>10731021

[Anonymous No.10743479]

>>10731432
>and there’s a restaurant jester who wanders around sitting with the patrons just to drop shitty puns and red pills.
My god, that last bit got me.

[Anonymous No.10743524]

>>10731786
>>10731775
I second that bravo.

[Anonymous No.10744506]

>>10737018
>LOOK AT ME

>LOOK
>AT
>ME

>I AM THE CUSTOMER NOW

[Anonymous No.10745086]

>>10737129
lol do this in an actual warehouse after they close for the night. Then it could be a full sized warehouse, and you could have customers sitting far away from each other to add to the ambience

[Anonymous No.10745089]

>>10739694
You have to peek over the cubicles to talk to the other members of your party, but the waiters will scold you and tell you to get back to work

[Anonymous No.10745239]

>>10743107
OP asked for BAD ideas

[Anonymous No.10745246]

>>10730892
Thats a good idea though

[Anonymous No.10745290]

>>10730832
>that pig
Doujins when?

[Anonymous No.10745837]

I have saved this thread for its many awful yet brilliant ideas.

[Anonymous No.10745878]

>>10740689
>>10743075
already a thing

[Anonymous No.10745891]

>>10745878
Link?

[Anonymous No.10746011]

>>10731542
Jesus Christ, they are all hideous.

[Anonymous No.10746028]

>>10731733
One of my favourite restaurants in a fondue one where you cook your own meat. Cheese fondue goes with bread, though, for meat it's oil.
It's obviously too expensive for what they're actually selling you, but I don't have the patience to organise one at my home.

Also, I don't live in America, but in southern Europe.

[Anonymous No.10746078]

>>10730832
High end french cuisine.
Super traditional food.
Name the place 'Le Drapeau Blanc'

[Anonymous No.10746085]

I'm at work and can't stop laughing. My boss sits close to me and he's probably getting pissed.

[Anonymous No.10746096]

Oatmeal food truck but prepare raw eggs so you need more licensing

[Anonymous No.10746126]

>>10730892
Fucking lost it

[Anonymous No.10746140]

>>10730892
Honestly, I feel like this kind of hyper aggressive chest pounding actively hostile steakhouse idea may have wings. Americans love that kind of shit and arguably it's the OG steak house vibe

I mean, this shit worked for hardee's

[Anonymous No.10746151]

>>10746096
>Oatmeal food truck
Sadly enough I can see this working. Breakfast food truck that serves healthy shit like granola, yogurt, etc. /fit/ and /soy/ will all buy in.

[Anonymous No.10746192]

"Kill your own" shooting range + open kitchen.

There's a backyard, with cows, pigs, sheep. You get a gun, shoot the animal of your choice. The butcher brings the animal in; there's a bar with a full view on the kitchen and butchery behind. You can see the animal being skinned, parts chopped off, sent to the kitchen part where cooks prepare them.

Have a kids menu with BB gun and chickens and rabbits too.

[Anonymous No.10746206]

>>10746192
I like a "kill your own" concept but doing it from a distance seems like a sure way to end up with a bunch of injured screaming animals.
Probably best to stick with a bolt gun or knife for something like this. Maybe even have a few animals rigged so the really sensitive diners can just push a button.
Could work. You'd probably want to stick to small animals like the rabbits and chickens you mentioned, though. Otherwise you end up with a bunch of cows and pigs with one cut missing.

[Anonymous No.10746286]

>>10746206
>but doing it from a distance seems like a sure way to end up with a bunch of injured screaming animals.

And that's what makes this idea so wonderfully terrible!

[Anonymous No.10746319]

A bar where every fizzy drink is poured from at least 2 foot above the glass. The actual bar is designed in a way so that any spill sloshes out on the customers waiting for their drink. The point is to save money per drink served while taking full price.

The name should be "Fizzy top".

[Anonymous No.10746351]

>>10730895
There's actually a vegan ice"cream" place near where Iive called "Like No Udder". They make it from almond/cashew/coconut milk and have a bunch of different flavors that they rotate in and out of. I tried it and it actually tasted pretty good.

The shop does pretty well. They also have a food truck that they call "Betsy Loo" that they send around to events, and and there's a local vegetarian/vegan restaurant that buys their stuff wholesale to serve as a dessert option.

[Anonymous No.10746359]

>>10746351
have you tried other vegan products like peanut "butter" and "cream" of balsamic?

but seriously, I tried the almond milk ice cream from Ben n Jerry's and I liked it. There was a faint taste of almonds but I think that added to flavor.

[Anonymous No.10746398]

>>10731406
There are actually markets that do this.

[Anonymous No.10746406]

>>10738018
>It would be called "Cover" and would feature exact recipe replicas of famous dishes from famous chefs and restaurants from around the world.

Explain why this is a bad idea.

[Anonymous No.10746423]

>>10731096
It needs to go the extra step by only serving meme foods.

[Anonymous No.10746465]

Tartare bar.
Buffet style tartare, served with attitude.

[Anonymous No.10746510]

>>10731733
>>10732165
>>10731888

The Melting Pot actually opened up a restaurant at the mall near me but they bombed and had to close it within the year. It must be working in some places though judging by how many locations they have.

[Anonymous No.10746554]

>>10734037
This is the best one yet.

[Anonymous No.10746593]

>>10731432
I've been to this place.

[Anonymous No.10746597]

>>10731436
You give all the coloreds an hour wait time well welcoming everyone else.

[Anonymous No.10746618]

>>10733688
There was a place called Felony Franks that did that

[Anonymous No.10746919]

>>10746465
>Buffet style tartare
God damn!

[Anonymous No.10747001]

Yoga restaurant. Possibly good because rich women take long ass lunches, love gimmicky stuff and spend $$$. Never work because they will smell like shit after working out.

[Anonymous No.10747170]

>>10731072
Britfag here

Fucking kek at this

[Anonymous No.10747187]

>>10730832
Water restaraunt. Serves only water. From all around the world. Really expensive.

[Anonymous No.10747192]

>>10733688
Yeah, my town has one where they're all convicts. Better than having them collect welfare IMO. I approve.

[Anonymous No.10747234]

>>10730832
OP, I give you a wealth of Bad Pizza place Ideas, ala The Weekenders:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqJj39oSYyU

[Anonymous No.10747252]

>>10747234
>>10730832
The guy on the bottom right corner is OP if he screws up and does a Producers.

[Anonymous No.10747263]

>>10747252

[Anonymous No.10747268]

>>10747263

[Anonymous No.10747280]

>>10731072
2 for 1 kidney pie day!!

[Anonymous No.10747283]

>>10730832
Sports racing themed restaurant. Waiters are a sort of pit crew that quickly swoops in to take all your orders in under 30 seconds, and you get all your food a few minutes after ordering so that you can get a family meal in under 15 minutes from sitting down to paying your bill. Condiments are stored in large tanks either next to or above the table, and are quickly spewed from a dispenser shaped like a gas pump. For authentic feel, the chairs are styled after seats from racing cars.

Basically, you want cheap, fried food, tacky interior and theme, bundled together with a rushed, oppressive dining atmosphere where people can't take the time to relax to eat their fried garbage.

[Anonymous No.10747300]

Segregation, a restaurant split in two with one side serving exclusively watermelon, grape juice and fried chicken

[Anonymous No.10747312]

>>10747234
>>10747252
>>10747268
This show was/is super comfy.

[Anonymous No.10747314]

>>10747283
That would make money

[Anonymous No.10747328]

>>10747234
I've been trying to remember the name of this shit for a while now. All I can remember about this show is the girl with the upside down Weezer shirt.

[Anonymous No.10747345]

>>10730832
Rave themed resturaunt.Waiters and waitresses in obnoxious rave gear, glowsticks ect take your order. Flashing lights and constant pounding EDM music.

[Anonymous No.10747362]

>>10747345
That literally just sounds like a normal nightclub with more glowsticks.

[Anonymous No.10747381]

>>10747283
>>10747314
yeah this sounds fantastic

[Anonymous No.10747383]

>>10740463
kek what the fuck

[Anonymous No.10747398]

>>10731775
read the OP again

[Anonymous No.10747447]

>>10730832
A hypermordernist-style establishment in the heart of some trendy hipster city.
It only serves crushed up ice with various kinds of low-calorie syrups (e.g. apple flavour, honey flavour, yogurt flavor...) as a sauce the patron has to drizzle over the ice.
POSs:
>ice+aspertame has almost no calories, perfect for people who want to stay thin
>entire thing has a futuristic molecular vibe despite requiring no big investment
>in fact, the kitchen can be dramatically reduced to a few sauce makers and a freezer
>patron feels proud of his meal because he "assembled" it himself
>easy cleaning, low-effort a-ratings
>impossible to fuck up so you can hire otherwise unemployable subhumans for cheap

[Anonymous No.10747507]

>>10747447
>impossible to fuck up so you can hire otherwise unemployable subhumans for cheap

He is looking for ideas that will flop, not succeed.

[Anonymous No.10747530]

>>10747398
Fuck off, asshole.
I asked a question and that guy answered it.
How about you read the fucking reply chain?

[Anonymous No.10747535]

Meet your meat-after your order you watch a video of your cow or chicken playing as a calf, getting kicked by it’s mom, rolling in the field then one day it is terrified as it is loaded into a truck and brought to a mass death chamber and graphically murdered.

[Anonymous No.10747647]

>>10733902
based

[Anonymous No.10747680]

>>10747535
Oh fuck yes. I'd use the napkin as a cum rag.

[Anonymous No.10747700]

[Anonymous No.10747716]

>>10739669

>server goes out back to do coke and smoke a cigarette
>kept you waiting huh?

[Anonymous No.10747723]

>>10734287
Is the punchline that it should be "Pasta-pocalypse" but isn't?

[Anonymous No.10747876]

>>10730892
lmao

[Anonymous No.10748169]

Benihanas/Hibachi but with breakfast food

[Anonymous No.10748307]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_Cafe

A franchise

[Anonymous No.10748322]

A restaurant specializing in cold and room-temperature foods, in a city where the temperatures are below 40 for more than half the year.

[Anonymous No.10748584]

>>10731424
We'll call it, Bullhorn's.

[Anonymous No.10748730]

Try something that could be potentially a health risk and hence really liable. Perhaps like an all rare/uncooked meat restaurant.

[Anonymous No.10748816]

>>10748730
Could you market your restaurant as a weight loss program and intentionally serve food with tapeworms?

[Anonymous No.10748829]

>>10747001
>Implying yoga is a workout.
>Implying yoga classes don't consist mostly of middle/upper-class women.

If you served "healthy" free-range/organic/gluten-free/non-gmo/vegan shit this idea might actually take off.

For it to be a sure bomb, you'd need to pitch a menu that only consists of dishes with red meat, greasy melted cheese, and deep-fried bar food type stuff.

[Anonymous No.10748833]

>>10740480
So it's ram ranch?

[Anonymous No.10750611]

>>10731091
Complete with amateur kabuki performed in the original language.

[Anonymous No.10750753]

>>10732165
>>10746510
>tfw I work at a Melting Pot
It's hard as fuck work for a server.

[Anonymous No.10750804]

>>10730832
>roadhog hits the gym

[Anonymous No.10750963]

>>10750753
I go to the one in Savannah all the time. Fantastic date spot. Get my dick sucked in the circular private booth in the back dining room just about every time.

[Anonymous No.10751021]

>>10739489
Could work in the US, but honestly, too many over-aggressive neckbeards would go there and grope or try to fuck the waitstaff in public. I got friends that would do that exact shit because they can't control themselves and don't deserve to be in human society but still have the money to eat out.

Would eventually end up with a spike in violence and a lot of police visits and wait staff getting physically assaulted by retarded patrons or angry housewives that see their own looks waining and don't like letting pretty girls make men feel appreciated.

[Anonymous No.10751031]

>>10751021
Or they would take "treat it like your home" as literal, take their shoes off, put them up on chairs/tables, belch and fart publically and have no respect for the other diners experiences. So yeah, the idea would totally fail.

Would love one of these to exist near me though, just so I could know the feeling of being loved and important. Even if it is all just an act by the staff.

Might work if it was linked in to the sex-offender registry in the area and had face recognition.

[Anonymous No.10751052]

>>10731373
Also have you order over a tablet, for even less interaction

[Anonymous No.10751291]

>>10746096
preparing oatmeal in an egg fort is too powerful

[Anonymous No.10751326]

>>10730832
Honestly you should just pitch some really generic theme restaurant but try really hard to upset it. There's no way that a group of investors would detect your satire, but they'd definitely remember it as a generic as fuck idea. Easiest is a seafood restaurant with a pitch such as:
>So, the idea is a nautical themed restaurant. When guests walk in, they're submerged in an experience of Atlantis. First thing they see is a titanic tank thriving with fresh Maine lobster. As they're seated, our guests are in awe with the vast collection of nautical treasures sprawling throughout the establishment. Pirate chests, mounted fish, sails - and at the center, a monstrous swordfish watches over the dining room.
menu is a bunch of generic frozen shitty seafood

[Anonymous No.10751377]

>>10735886

not wrong

[Anonymous No.10751378]

>>10750963
Hmm There’s one near me maybe I should go there sometime

[Anonymous No.10751390]

>>10751378
It's not really necessary unless it's near a date holiday like Valentine's but still call and make a reservation and ask for a private booth. Perfect every time.

[Anonymous No.10751392]

>>10737078

OP asked for bad ideas

[Anonymous No.10751411]

I’m late but look up Cumtown - Andre’s Steak House on YouTube. It’s Outback Steakhouse but instead of Australians it’s black people, hilarious bit

[Anonymous No.10751814]

Fidget spinners: the restaurant

[Anonymous No.10752254]

>>10731752
You are not thinking big enough.
Highest prize is champagne marinated kobe-beef with a side of gold brushed truffles(not tasty, just stupidly expensive) and the worst possible outcome is NOTHING, you get fucking NOTHING.
2nd worst outcome should be cat-food or stale bread with water.


My idea for a dumb restaurant is a medievil style restaurant that goes in hard core.
You have to sign a waiver at the door because the food WILL be unsanitary. chefs required to not wash their hands, and at least 50% of the meat should be partially spoiled and just covered in salt, sugar and dumb spice combos.
Also the pies should have live pidgeons inside them(like in tudor times) and none of the waiters should have a full set of teeth or be completly lice-less.
The only upside is that beer and spirits should be cheap. all drinks are served in large jugs that all look the same.
The restaurant should be decorated with sharp weaponry that are easily removed from their hangers. The toilet will be a seperate room with a bit of hay to piss and shit on in the corner, or if you want more of a luxury style you get a whole row of outhouse-style seats next to eachother. It is important that the smell of feces spreads into the dining room for that authentic feel.
Sexism and misogony from the staff is a must, and of course no black people should be served unless wearing golden jewelry.
The staff would only speak flemish and broken french.

[Anonymous No.10752267]

>>10733902
Like hooters but for gay men.
Being served by assless chaps wearing man!

[Anonymous No.10752307]

>>10752267
Probably would be popular