I actually cook. I belong here.

[Anonymous No.10701696]

(You do not.)
Pic related.

[Anonymous No.10701705]

what did you do, son?

[Anonymous No.10701714]

>>10701705
chef at wendys

[Anonymous No.10701717]

>>10701696
ah, dogshit on wonderbread.
A classic dish.

[Anonymous No.10701720]

>>10701696
Sausage gravy over toast, collard greens cooked in a bit of bacon fat, matchstick carrots with indian chili and lime pickles to cut thru some of the greasyness.

>No I don't eat such high fat food like this all the time.

[Anonymous No.10701724]

>>10701696

i'm sorry your sister's afterbirth after queefing out another deformed, inbred Downsie landed on top of your plate

[Anonymous No.10701727]

>>10701717
they call it shit on a shingle for a reason.
>the first bite is with the eyes, and it wasn't good.
I don't have time for presentation-memes. Its lunch. I'm going to turn it all into brown.

[Anonymous No.10701731]

>>10701720
For me, it's the McChicken. The Best Fast Food Sandwich. Are you one of those 30 year old boomers?

[Anonymous No.10701734]

>>10701731
How was your imitation food, sweetie?

[Anonymous No.10701751]

>>10701727
Memes aside, everything looks undercooked, except the gravy which looks overcooked.
Cream gravy shouldn't be yellow, and the sausage chunks should be more broken up. The "toast" is just wonderbread. Try keeping it in the toaster longer, or frying it with a thin coat of margarine. The collard greens look tough still. Don't worry about overcooking them.

But it's gonna be shit soon anyway so who cares about how it looks and tastes amirite XD

[Anonymous No.10701764]

>>10701734
Better than anything you can cook, reddit.

[Anonymous No.10701771]

>>10701751
>critique my din din
Collard greens have been cooked to hell, as they should be.
carrots are raw
sauseeej is cooked through and I like some texture
gravis is a little tan cuz I just dumped condensed milk into the sauseeej pan and reduced it so it picked up a bit of the browning.
Extremely low effort meal and yet nutritious and delicious.
>critiqueing my toast
You're just grasping at straws now.

Aaaah, don't ever change, people who could not pull this simple meal off -- even with help. You're perfect just the way you are. (obese)


Cooking can be simple and good. Don't be scared.

[Anonymous No.10701778]

>>10701771
>patrician.jpg
>eating literal peasant food
k. Come back when you learn to make toast properly.

[Anonymous No.10701779]

>>10701771
>thinks he's a patrician

[Anonymous No.10701781]

>>10701771
And here I thought you kids would have the biggest problem with my incorporating indian chili / lime pickles into what is essentially white-people-food.
Time makes fools of us all.

[Anonymous No.10701789]

And for dessert, I sauteed rice flour noodles lightly seasoned with blue confectionery sugar.
It's a simple and nutritious recipe.

[Anonymous No.10701790]

>>10701778
>>10701779
I'm patronizing you two pretty good.

>Set a very low bar for a complete home-cooked meal so you tastelets don't shit the bed about "too much effort" and maybe get encouraged to cook.
>Perfectly Patrician is to expose peons like yourselves to improvements in their miserable lives. Like cooking. On a cooking board.

[Anonymous No.10701796]

>>10701790
Well I can make toast properly, so I think I'm squarely ahead in that regard.

[Anonymous No.10701798]

>>10701789
Oh I remember that picture from when it was first posted almost a decade ago.
Nice original content.

[Anonymous No.10701807]

>>10701696
Do Americans really cook like this?

[Anonymous No.10701811]

>>10701696
looks appalling tbqh famalam

[Anonymous No.10701815]

Felt full, so I stopped eating.

You should try it some time.

[Anonymous No.10701818]

>>10701771
>sauseeej

[Anonymous No.10701820]

>>10701807
>American
>cooks
Pick one.

[Anonymous No.10701828]

>>10701807
If you find a girl that cooks like this in America, marry her.
#wifey

[Anonymous No.10701836]

>>10701771
>making cream gravy with only condensed milk and sausage drippings
jfc. start with roux, reduce heat, add sausage drippings and heavy cream, thicken with flour. You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.10701852]

>>10701836
No nigger. I dumped the grease and added canned milk and reduced it because this is already loaded with fat. Doesn't need any extra added.

Noone asked you how to make gravy.

[Anonymous No.10701866]

Also, pretty much nailed the protein / fat / carbs ratios. And it tastes good. And it was start to finish done in under 30 mins.

I hit all the important notes.
Now wash my dishes, bitch.

[Anonymous No.10701877]

>>10701852
wait wait wait. Are you saying that your "gravy" is literally just condensed milk? Like, you dumped the drippings so there's nothing else in it?
Holy fuck m8 that's some next level cooking. Cooked canned milk "gravy" lmfao

[Anonymous No.10701884]

>>10701877
Wonderbread with cooked milk with raw carrots jej

[Anonymous No.10701910]

>>10701877
I left the meat in the pan and then tipped it with a lid, so a fair amount of the grease remained adhered to the sauseeej. Yeah, reduced milk and fat, bit of black pepper, right consistency, tastes good, doesn't need flour as thickener when I can just reduce it / its going over bread.
How many carbs do you need tubbo?

ITT: Do you even cook? I mean you obviously know the buzzwords, but do you actually cook?
>the answer is no.

[Anonymous No.10701919]

>>10701910
I have country style gravy packet in my cabinet, but this is the better way to do it.
>I've actually tried it out, instead of living vicariously through the internet.

[Anonymous No.10701948]

I cook twice as many meals in a week that you do in a year, and I still have Taco Bell and vodka for dinner 4 nights a week.

[Anonymous No.10701979]

>>10701910
Ah, so you didn't even make gravy. It's just sausage in canned milk. Somebody page gordon ramsey.

>if i do something dumb I'll just say it's because I'm watching my weight
Or just cook better and eat less.

[Anonymous No.10701990]

>>10701696
Christ, this is why the current incarnation of the south should be scourged.

[Anonymous No.10702064]

>>10701948
And you have a blue ox named Babe, right?

[Anonymous No.10702068]

>>10701714
100k starting?

[Anonymous No.10702077]

>>10701696
>cooking
>that
pic one

[Anonymous No.10702103]

>>10701717
>>10701724
>>10701751
>>10701789
>>10701796
>>10701807
>>10701820
>>10701877
>>10701884
>>10701948
>>10701979
>>10701990
>>10702077

This thread was about "I Cook / You Don't"
>posted very easy, complete meal
You all try to poke holes in it.
The best possible attack would be to post better food that you cooked.
>Not a single one of you does, because none of you cook.

Cheeki breeki i v damke

[Anonymous No.10702197]

>>10702103
>that 24 year old boomer who thinks he can cook

[Anonymous No.10702230]

>>10702197
That picture looks suspiciously like not-food.
>you had one job

[Anonymous No.10702237]

>>10702068

[Anonymous No.10702246]

>>10702230
>t.butt-blasted boomer
Bruh, lmao, do you even McChicken?

[Anonymous No.10702253]

>>10702103
>The best possible attack would be to post better food that you cooked.
you really want me to take a picture of toast?

[Anonymous No.10702258]

>>10701696
i cook all the time just 2 hours ago i had cut up strawberries and cottage cheese

[Anonymous No.10702273]

>>10702103
Tourist's delight is probably better than cat shit on white bread

[Anonymous No.10702288]

>>10702103
>easy, complete meal
>cooking
those are not mutually exclusive, and in OP's case, half that shit wasn't cooked and the other half looked like it was microwaved vomit.

but since you want some content, sure.

[Anonymous No.10702295]

>>10702288
i'll post some more

[Anonymous No.10702301]

>>10702295

[Anonymous No.10702309]

>>10701815
You should try cooking something worth finishing.

[Anonymous No.10702311]

>>10702301

[Anonymous No.10702315]

>>10702311

[Anonymous No.10702322]

>>10702315

[Anonymous No.10702330]

I made some of those fried lasagna bites like at olive garden

They came out pretty tasty but I'm not a faggot who takes pictures of my food

[Anonymous No.10702341]

>>10702322

[Anonymous No.10702345]

>>10702341

[Anonymous No.10702351]

>>10702345

[Anonymous No.10702357]

>>10702351

[Anonymous No.10702362]

>>10701696
>>10702322
>>10702341
>>10702345
Garbage.

[Anonymous No.10702368]

>>10702357

[Anonymous No.10702372]

>>10702362
kys
>>10702368

[Anonymous No.10702377]

>>10702372

[Anonymous No.10702381]

>>10701696
how wrong you are

/ck/ is and always will be shitpost central

[Anonymous No.10702384]

>>10702377

[Anonymous No.10702391]

>>10702384

[Anonymous No.10702394]

>>10702288
>Image search.
>From a 2015 /ck/ thread.

Fuck off newfag.
>this pic is from that thread.

[Anonymous No.10702397]

>>10702391

[Anonymous No.10702402]

>>10702394
it's from my folder you chucklefuck. i posted it back then.
>>10702397

[Anonymous No.10702404]

>>10702402

[Anonymous No.10702408]

>>10702381
Spend an evening or two on /tv/ then come back and tell me again how /ck/ is shitpost central. Hell this same thread may even still be here if it gets a few bumps a day

[Anonymous No.10702410]

>>10702357
Where's the pink in the center?

[Anonymous No.10702413]

>>10702404

[Anonymous No.10702419]

>>10702410
i'm not jack, anon. my pork doesn't get cooked pink
>>10702413

[Anonymous No.10702420]

>>10702394
>>10702402
Is this a post history thread?

[Anonymous No.10702426]

>>10702420
beats me, i'm just going through my cooked food folder and posting some stuff.

[Anonymous No.10702427]

>>10702419
chef john from food wishes dot com told me to cook pork loin pink in the middle

[Anonymous No.10702430]

>>10702426
Let's take a trip down memory lane, friend.

[Anonymous No.10702431]

>>10702426
ok, i'm done posting.
>>10702427
you do you, man. pork gets cooked to 155 in my home.

[Anonymous No.10702437]

>>10702430
Ah the good ol' days.

[Anonymous No.10702440]

>>10702309
>>10701815
y'all need to stop being dickholes
the food looked like shit, yes
but at least he cooked it himself
and it probably tasted fine
good even
and it was definitely more nutritious than mcchick and sody pop

[Anonymous No.10702444]

>>10702437

[Anonymous No.10702445]

>>10702437
that is sad, anon. at least the other two looked like a meal of some kind

[Anonymous No.10702450]

>>10702444
>>10702445
Sometimes all a man needs to be happy is a bowl of bacon.

[Anonymous No.10702455]

>>10702450

[Anonymous No.10702464]

And here was after I vomited all over my desk and ruined my mousepad.

[Anonymous No.10702465]

>>10702464

[Anonymous No.10702466]

>>10702464
Did you eat both of those plates of food?

[Anonymous No.10702471]

>>10702466
I can't really remember. Probably? These are from 2011-ish.

[Anonymous No.10702473]

>>10702471

[Anonymous No.10702477]

>>10702420
>>10702430
>>10702437
>>10702444
>>10702450
>>10702455
>>10702464
>>10702465
Why 4?

[Anonymous No.10702480]

Here was christmas!

[Anonymous No.10702491]

>>10702480
More festivities

[Anonymous No.10702497]

>>10702491
Sick dual monitor setup

[Anonymous No.10702503]

>>10702497
4 flavours of ribs!

[Anonymous No.10702507]

>>10702503
Experimental plating

[Anonymous No.10702516]

>>10702507

[Anonymous No.10702524]

>>10702516
Here was an attempt at making Iron Chef Chen's prawns in chili sauce. Turned out amazing.

[Anonymous No.10702526]

>>10702524

[Anonymous No.10702536]

>>10702526
My one-year anniversary for posting food on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.10702540]

Holy fuck OP is on full damage control ITT

[Anonymous No.10702546]

>>10702536

[Anonymous No.10702547]

>>10702536
no ad blocker...?
kek, you do you, my man

[Anonymous No.10702549]

Tonight's dinner. I realized after I plated it up that everything is kind of yellow/orange but it all still tasted good. One of these days I should do a dump of a bunch of shit I've made but I really can't be bothered right now

[Anonymous No.10702553]

>>10702546
I still have the jade plant, it's doing alright.

[Anonymous No.10702554]

>>10702549
not bad anon

[Anonymous No.10702555]

>>10702549
hey that looks better than OP's "shit on toast"

[Anonymous No.10702614]

>>10702549
that's not too much yellow, looks good

[Anonymous No.10703004]

>>10702555
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
>Like most of the people on this board.

[Anonymous No.10703478]

>>10702288
Have you ever prepared collared greens numale?

[Anonymous No.10703482]

>>10702440
Thx buddy. Not all of us have cancerous hearts.

[Anonymous No.10703487]

>>10703478
collards are shit. so's kale, you beta

[Anonymous No.10703504]

>>10701696
I made some cup noodles once, so I belong here too, anon

[Anonymous No.10703511]

>>10701696
>I just want to die famtbqh.
Side note Fuck You Nigger Mods For Banning Me On Mutiple Boards
T. Dindu

[Anonymous No.10703875]

>>10701696
What am I looking at here? Grated carrot with (???) indian pickle, collard greens, a heavily fried chicken's foot rounded out with bulk shit-on-a-shingle?

[Anonymous No.10703886]

>>10702362
faggot

[Anonymous No.10704917]

>>10702497
is that oatmeal in the bowl?

[Anonymous No.10704935]

>>10702536
what the hell is that? an oatmeal cake?

[Anonymous No.10704943]

>>10701696
You ain't shit son, don't @ me.

[Anonymous No.10704954]

>>10701696
Probably not terrible to be honest

Could look better if you used a better camera/lighting, a white plate and better organization of food....I bet it tasted good; though it is very difficult to plate "prettily" southern comfort food

[Anonymous No.10705009]

>>10702549
honestly if you threw in some red cabbage for color in the top right garnish youd have a good looking plate

[Anonymous No.10705017]

>>10702553
>>10702546
>sparse tech sector apartment
>4chan
>plate of tendies
It checks out.

[Anonymous No.10705019]

>>10702546
I like your fork anon. Wish I had a cool fork. All I've got is featureless Oneida shit, and an aircraft aluminum spork.

[Anonymous No.10705170]

>>10702465
>that bag of cancercandy
anon nooo