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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10668214 No.10668214 [Reply] [Original]

I'm not saying Alton Brown is a bad person...but literally every recipe of his that I've tried has tasted incredibly dull and bland.

>> No.10668230

Anybody who replies after this post is a gullible moron.

>> No.10668241

>>10668230
no u

>> No.10668258

>>10668230
Truth hurts, Alton.

>> No.10668267

>>10668241
>>10668258
>t. gullible morons

>> No.10668269

>>10668214
maybe you're shit at cooking

>> No.10668275
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10668275

>>10668214
Truth

>> No.10668277

>>10668269
Nope. I'm great at cooking.

>> No.10668285

>>10668214
>alton brown
nigga, you finna get aids-chai-tea

>> No.10668289

>>10668230
>>10668267
>>10668269
JUST

>> No.10668306

>>10668277
No you're not.

>> No.10668312

>>10668230
newfags BTFO (my post doesn't count by the way)

>> No.10668313

>>10668214
He's alot like the chef john of tv in that way.

>> No.10668318

>>10668306
Yes I am.

>> No.10668351

>>10668318
he cute

>> No.10668381

>>10668277
Obviously not if your food is bad

>> No.10668382

>>10668312
> (my post doesn't count by the way)

Do I sense SOY? yes I do

gb2 reddit

>> No.10668390

>>10668381
you don't have to be a chef to follow a recipe to the letter and get garbage that it is

>> No.10668403

>>10668381
*Alton Brown's food is bad

>> No.10668431

Alton Brown is the Bill Nye of gastronomy. Listen to somebody who can actually run a Michelin standard restaurant.

>> No.10668438

>>10668382
Were you even alive when 9/11 happened kid? Don’t you dare reply to me like that

>> No.10668450
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10668450

>>10668438
>9/11

>> No.10668459

>>10668431
>michelin
dick-sucking ring of faggots that love the taste of cum

>> No.10668462

>>10668214
I tried his butterflied/spatchcocked chicken and it was trash

>> No.10668483

>>10668214
the pH of cum usually tamps down any flavor.
he is not real
stop being a faggot

>> No.10668484
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10668484

>>10668459
a bloo bloo, name sounds foreign me don't want people rating restaurants :(

>> No.10668490

>>10668484
not above the level of word-of-mouth

>> No.10668500

>>10668214
In my experience his recipes on the Food Network site are transcribed by retarded interns. Everything I've made from his first 2 IJHftF cookbooks has turned out really solid.

>> No.10668508

>>10668490
word of mouth doesn't guarantee you any standards, but it's not like you care about those

pajeet I assume? or some inbred flyover? they're hard to tell apart these days, if I'm wrong that only says something about you

>> No.10668617

>>10668508
I bet you don't even eat food in real life.

>> No.10668645
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10668645

>>10668214
well adjust that shit to your taste instead of the taste of middle america you dumb motherfucker
fuck

>> No.10668673

>>10668431
You just wanted to make that association but it's not a good equivalency. Alton is more about being a teacher, not an actual chef.

>> No.10668726

Reply to this post if you know for a fact that OP can't cook for shit.

>> No.10668791

>>10668214
Serious question:
Alton is divorce and only had one child. He currently is advocating pro-gay views.

Is Alton a fag?

>> No.10668833

>>10668791
probably desu

>> No.10668885

>>10668791
>>10668833
Damn shame. Seems like a guy who knows his stuff when it comes to cooking. Certainly entertaining.

Cooked myself some chicken thighs with herb sauce for dinner tonight btw. Followed by a spinach salad.

>> No.10668892

>>10668885
Why does it matter? It doesn't change his cooking skill or his entertainment value.

>> No.10668897

his technique for cooking a turkey is the best tho

>> No.10668920

>>10668885
>>10668791
He's Christian and supports traditional families. Nice try though satan, you won't corrupt everyone.

>> No.10668934

>>10668892
i feel bad for people who are disabled. Being a white, Christian male with a large family is objectively the most fulfilling life.

>> No.10668959

>>10668214
he's a meme faggot that only people who don't actually cook like..

>> No.10669018

>>10668934
>white, Christian male
check
>a large family
>and a career
>pick one nigger

>> No.10669035

i dunno man, i thought his french toast recipe tasted pretty good

>> No.10669184

>>10668277
It sounds like you aren't, actually.

>> No.10670236

>>10668726
>>10669184
I am a very good cook, actually.

>> No.10670253

>>10668490
>Word of mouth
You might as well read yelp reviews

>> No.10670379
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10670379

Sounds like you, or whoever prepared what you've tasted, suck at cooking, OP. I've followed plenty of his recipes to a T and rarely have problems.
I make his pizza dough every week, sometimes twice. I eat a shitload of pizza. No idea where to get the malt barely syrup around here so I substitute it with brown rice syrup. If there isn't a difference feel free to call me a retard. I also follow his grilled tomato method for sauce which is nice and zesty. My buddy is a chef who started off practically running our town's favorite pizzeria since high school and even he was impressed by the pizzas.
I make his jerky recipe every week, the only problem I have with it is the recipe is a tad bit spicier than the flavor I desire, but it's probably what he was aiming for. Pic related, it's delicious.
The porkchop brine is great, if not a bit salty. Still tastes better than my roommate's chops, who just puts a slice of butter on them and throws them in the oven.
The beef taco recipe is flawless. I have nothing negative to say about it.
And his winter vegetable soup is great. The only problems I had with it were on my first attempt and doing a poor job properly cutting the squash. Ever since then I make it to keep me and roommates free of whatever winter bug comes around.

Yeah they guy's a pussy when it comes to frying a turkey, but none of his recipes are in any way dull or bland.

>> No.10670386 [DELETED] 
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10670386

>>10670379

>> No.10670422

>>10668431
*tips fedora*

>> No.10670430

>>10668214
I don’t get why people follow this guy.
He’s a TV producer not a chef and all his recipes are cooked by a professional in rehearsal prior.

>> No.10670442

He did actually go to culinary school. I don't think he's ever ran a restaurant or anything.

>> No.10670446

>>10668791
I suspected he was gay but that doesn't appear to be the case.

>> No.10670704

>>10669035
>Needs a recipe for something as simple as French Toast.

Jesus, this is what we are dealing with here.

>> No.10670988

>>10668897
Where he spatchcocks the turkey and has the stuffing underneath to absorb the juices? Too bad America's Test Kitchen did the same thing 10 years earlier then he did

>> No.10671002

>>10670988
>It's not 100% unique and original! WAH!

>> No.10671026 [DELETED] 

>>10671002
Where do you think he got that idea from nigger?
Trying to get credit without acknowledging where he got the idea just like the koolaid pickles

>> No.10671607

>>10671026
>nigger

back to /pol/ with you honey, reported for racism

>> No.10671686

>>10670442
He's worked in a restaurant as a line cook but he's never been a head chef.

>> No.10671693

>>10670236
>He replied to the post
kek

>> No.10671727

>>10668214
List 5 of his recipes you've tried and explain in detail where each one falls short.