/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10594192]

>tfw imagining Ramsay reviewing my cooking

[Anonymous No.10594207]

>>10594192
Im imagining ur mom gagging on my cock so bad she pukes and passes out. I take advantage of her passed out state and fuck her ass. Then i scoop the puke up and feed it to her

[Anonymous No.10594277]

>dry base.
>has this been frozen?
>drowned in tomato sauce and stale cheese.
>barely any toppings and everything just tastes like garlic.
>for fucks sake.

[Anonymous No.10594353]

>did you really think I didn't notice you'd substituted parsley for cilantro
>why are you even bothering to make southeast asian if you can't find lemongrass
>at least you made stock and not a fucking knorr cube
Actually if there wasn't a camera on me he'd probably like my food.

And I'm joking about the cilantro part, it's something I'd do if I ran out of cilantro at home though.

[Anonymous No.10596029]

>>10594192
>is that a fucking noodle packet?
>Disgusting.
>in the microwave? What the fuck are you doing?
>is that msg? You've got fucking issues lad.
>you actually eat this shit?
>Fucking hell.
>look at it
>its a soggy mess what the fuck
>I wouldn't serve this to my dog
>get the fuck out of the kitchen I've had enough of this shit, you must be fucking joking.

[Anonymous No.10597764]

>everything you do just tastes like cream, white wine and garlic you fucking donkey

[Anonymous No.10599168]

>>10594192
>why did you make 1500 anolini anon?

[Anonymous No.10599217]

>>10594192
>serve him sushi
>he becomes predictably upset that it's undercooked

[Anonymous No.10599235]

>>10599217
>sushi is uncooked
Retard.

[Anonymous No.10599265]

>>10599235
>undercooked
Go back to your village, idiot.

[Anonymous No.10599593]

>is that bread white?
>Christ... Not even toasted.
>Peanut butter without nuts? Mental.
>Oh no, you're not...
>grape jelly, not even a good preserve
>Fucking hell, couldn't even spread it to the edges could you? Fucking donky, out of my kitchen.

[Anonymous No.10599850]

>>10594192
>Why are you washing your hands so much?
>Do you smoke, why so much pepper and garlic?
>Why only dry spices and herbs?
>It's only a few germs!

[Anonymous No.10599865]

>>10594192
Why does it hurt just to imagine him reviewing our food /ck/?

[Anonymous No.10599995]

>>10594192
"over cooked"
"drenched in oil"
"fuckin ell'

[Anonymous No.10600130]

>Fucking burnt buns, store bought? My god
>You couldnt even press the fucking patty onto the griddle evenly? It's a fucking burger, not wellington you muppet
>my god this sauce is shit
>are you trying to kill me? why so much fucking pepper?
>storebought mayo and cheese? my god

[Anonymous No.10600734]

>>10594192
i honestly think he'd not find much wrong with my food if he were being fair to my status as a home cook and not a chef. i don't think he'd expect it to be as good as it usually is, actually.
especially if it was a meal that i have all the separate techniques almost mastered. basic shit like fond and seasoning and roux and uniform chopping.

[Anonymous No.10600765]

>>10594192
>i-im dirty bulking, Gordon

[Anonymous No.10600782]

I'm a good cook. He'd get good food.

[Anonymous No.10600813]

>>10600782
i tend to believe that.
you don't have to be a trained chef to make edible or even exceptional food if you make an honest effort and have a grasp on basic techniques. especially if you're enthusiastic about certain dishes or regional cuisines.

[Anonymous No.10603110]

>>10597764
dlt this, when i use these things that means im a top chef

[Anonymous No.10604827]

I think Gordon Ramsay is really overoverrated.
Maybe I'm wrong but the only few videos I saw, what he cooked was meh at most
> steak
let's put oil AND BUTTER, because steaks don't have fat.
Finish with garlic and rosemery if you like your steak not tasting like steak

> creamy scrumbled eggs video
Really good but they are eggs

> Beef Wellington
somewhat original, but I don't think it takes a genius to roll meat in pastry.
but let's take it as a point

I saw a video when he try cooks "Italian", he doesn't even cook pasta right. Also in EVERY fucking Italian restaurant dishes "finish it with extra vergine olive oil".

If you can't grasp Italian cousine which is based on poor food I don't know what to think. Maybe he's just a showman

[Anonymous No.10604878]

>>10604827
He has dozens of hours of videos, he did a 3 season "cooking course" where he makes appetizer, entree, and dessert, they're all different

[Anonymous No.10605029]

>tfw you will never get Gordon Ramsay to make you a meal.

[Anonymous No.10605113]

>>10604878
That's a triggered guido.

[Anonymous No.10605278]

>did you scrape this off of the floor you fucking muppet

[Anonymous No.10605399]

>Hand him some home made pizza
>Takes one bite
>Picks up the plate and throws it against the wall
>Leaves
>Porcelain shrapnel everywhere
>Pizza fell cheese side down

[Anonymous No.10606769]

>>10594192
OH
FUCK
ME