/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10545144]

Fuck you, the cheeseburger is the pinnacle of human cuisine.

I'd serve this to an alien.

[Anonymous No.10545155]

>>10545144
Cheeseburgers are pretty good

[Anonymous No.10545159]

>>10545144
Popular Opinion

[Anonymous No.10545161]

i think i'd serve an alien a steak dinner

[Anonymous No.10545165]

>>10545144
Gracias senior

[Anonymous No.10545169]

>>10545144
>the cheeseburger is the pinnacle of human cuisine
not doing much for your rage issues though

[Anonymous No.10545172]

fast-food style burgers with a single patty aren't good, the ratio between bread and filling is very suboptimal

[Anonymous No.10545192]

I unironically agree OP. Cheeseburgers are the greatest food ever invented.

Take any pickle bullshit off though. Onions, lettuce, condiments, and a thin slice of tomato can stay.

[Anonymous No.10545199]

>>10545144
>cuisine
*cruising

[Anonymous No.10545216]

My kind of thread

Cheeseburgers is the perfect food
It has your grain, meat, dairy, fruit and veggies (same can be said for pizza but fuck pizza). There's a reason you can get a burger anywhere

[Anonymous No.10545222]

>>10545192
Patrician taste anon. Pickles have no place on a hamburger.

[Anonymous No.10545223]

>>10545216
God damn that looks so good. I thank god every day I’m an American.

[Anonymous No.10545265]

>>10545144
What if the alien is going through a vegan gluten free phase and is eating a plant based diet?

[Anonymous No.10545290]

>>10545222
Ok, maybe you just don't like pickles. They do have a place in a burger though. They are what brings the acid tang to it, and fat + acid is the basis for many dishes. The problem is a lot of places overdo it with pickles and ketchup and mustard, all of which are very heavy with acetic acid.

[Anonymous No.10545303]

>>10545144
but what if alien is allergic?

[Anonymous No.10545305]

>>10545172
>>10545222
pickle haters be gone

[Anonymous No.10545333]

>>10545216
>fruit
you put fruit on your burger? gross
and if you try to tell me tomato is a fruit I will find you and punch you right in the neck

[Anonymous No.10545366]

>>10545265
Well klaptorg from the aspergers nebula, it's war then.

[Anonymous No.10545375]

>>10545333
Scientifically speaking, a tomato is definitely a fruit. True fruits are developed from the ovary in the base of the flower, and contain the seeds of the plant (though cultivated forms may be seedless). Blueberries, raspberries, and oranges are true fruits, and so are many kinds of nut.

[Anonymous No.10545387]

>>10545333
>>10545375
>Botanically, a tomato is a fruit, a berry, consisting of the ovary, together with its seeds, of a flowering plant. However, the tomato has a much lower sugar content than other edible fruits, and is therefore not as sweet. Typically served as part of a salad or main course of a meal, rather than at dessert, it is, in the US, considered a "culinary vegetable". One exception is that tomatoes are treated as a fruit in home canning practices: they are acidic enough to process in a water bath rather than a pressure cooker as vegetables require. Tomatoes are not the only food source with this ambiguity: bell peppers, cucumbers, green beans, eggplants, avocados, and squashes of all kinds (such as zucchini and pumpkins) are all botanically fruits, yet cooked as vegetables. This has led to legal dispute in the United States. In 1887, US tariff laws that imposed a duty on vegetables, but not on fruits, caused the tomato's status to become a matter of legal importance. The US Supreme Court settled this controversy on 10 May 1893, by declaring that the tomato is a vegetable, based on the popular definition that classifies vegetables by use, that they are generally served with dinner and not dessert (Nix v. Hedden (149 U.S. 304)). The holding of this case applies only to the interpretation of the Tariff Act of 3 March 1883, and the court did not purport to reclassify the tomato for botanical or other purposes.

[Anonymous No.10545424]

>>10545375
>>10545387
looks like I'm going to have to punch both of you. Right in the neck.

[Anonymous No.10545426]

>>10545424
see
>>10545366

[Anonymous No.10545429]

>>10545161
I THINK I'D SERVE AN ALIEN A KNUCKLE SANDWICH
WELCOM TO URF

[Anonymous No.10545494]

>>10545144
>not giving them a mcchicken instead
I hope they use their planet destroying laser on us because of you.

[Anonymous No.10545513]

>>10545222
>>10545290
>>10545305
Pickles are fine on the side with the burger but not actually in it. Warm pickles are disgusting.

[Anonymous No.10545544]

Cheeseburgers are pretty good but have you ever had a sloppy joe? It's like a cheeseburger got drunk. It's dope as fuck.

[Anonymous No.10545733]

>>10545375
>>10545387
tell me, scientifically, what a vegetable is, fags

[Anonymous No.10545754]

>>10545733
Doesn't exist

[Anonymous No.10545767]

>>10545754
right
then tomato is a vegetable

[Anonymous No.10545770]

>>10545333
Pickles are fruit.
Truthbomb.

[Anonymous No.10545789]

>>10545733
In regards to the culinary world, it is a vegetable.You are on a cooking board. You scientism fags are the fucking worst. And I say that as a scientist.

[Anonymous No.10545805]

>>10545789
What kind of scientist are you? Define what culinary vegetables and culinary fruits are.

[Anonymous No.10545813]

>>10545144
>I'd serve this to an alien.
klaptorg food reviews when

[Anonymous No.10545819]

>>10545813
I give this idea 3.4 jagons up.

[Anonymous No.10545823]

>>10545789
read a book, nigger
i'm on your side

[Anonymous No.10545828]

>>10545813
Klaptorg's bots are monitoring this thread.

[Anonymous No.10545829]

>>10545805
Forensic scientist with a concentration in trace analysis. There is no scientific law stating what separates fruit and vegetables. They are classification based on observable traits. So in botany, they are classified based on weather or not they are the seed containing structure of the plant. In cooking they are defined based on flavor (sugar content) and use.

[Anonymous No.10545836]

>>10545819
the fuck is a jagons you donkey

[Anonymous No.10545839]

>>10545144
An intelligent species capable of interstellar travel would probably either be horrified by the fact that we still raise and murder animals for food, or they'd be here to harvest us for themselves as some kind of alien delicacy.
>to serve man

Cheeseburgers are delicious tho.

[Anonymous No.10545848]

>>10545836
excuse english. this words are not my first satchel of pants.

[Anonymous No.10545852]

>>10545144
>>10545161
>>10545303
>>10545494
>>10545813
I'm not a vegetarian or anything but I think aliens would be appalled if they saw that we eat meat.

[Anonymous No.10545855]

>>10545848
Begone, xeno

[Anonymous No.10545864]

>>10545848
trump's planetary force field cannot come soon enough

[Anonymous No.10545870]

>>10545733

it's a plant for dinner

[Anonymous No.10545879]

>>10545144
I'd rather have a cheeseburger than filet mignon any day of the week.

[Anonymous No.10545882]

>>10545144
Yeah, I can agree with that, but for burgers in general. There's just so much variety to them and so much you can do with them.

[Anonymous No.10545990]

>>10545852
but what if they eat meat on their planet?

[Anonymous No.10546031]

>>10545852
>>10545265
>>10545839
Spotted the vegan trying to fit in
>muh veganism is the ascended cuisine for humans and those who follow it are the chosen people xddd

[Anonymous No.10546443]

What happens if they realize they enjoy Earth meat and want to try human?

[Anonymous No.10546449]

>>10545144
I agree with you except that particular burger is a low tier piece of shit

[Anonymous No.10546471]

>>10546449

Yeah, start with the highest quality burger. Like they say, "put your best food forward"

[Anonymous No.10546515]

>>10545852
>How do you do, fellow meat eaters

[Anonymous No.10546520]

>>10545165
underrated

[Anonymous No.10546529]

>>10545222
Wow I browse /ck/ for a day and saying pickles don't belong on a burger is the same arugment of pineapple doesn't belong on pizza. If it's food it can go on anything.

[Anonymous No.10546540]

>>10545144
What kind of bun is that? Is that brioche?

[Anonymous No.10546856]

>>10545144
Why are hamburgers so fucking underwhelming. Every time I try one, the smell is most enticing but the flavour is always lacking.

[Anonymous No.10546887]

>>10545852
>an advanced civilization would be appalled that other higher beings breed and farm domesticated animals for their benefit

[Anonymous No.10548099]

>>10545829
>>10545805
'vegetables' are not a botanical/scientific classification, they're culinary. Tomatoes are the fruit of a plant, same with cucumbers, same with squash. They're considered vegetables in the culinary world. There's nothing scientific about it. Bread isn't a scientific classification either. Retarded argument.

[Anonymous No.10548111]

>>10546887
you misspelled "impressed"

[Anonymous No.10548120]

>>10545144
It's a pretty solid choice.

[Anonymous No.10548122]

>>10545144

I do not eat beefburgers.

[Anonymous No.10548129]

>>10545216
>but fuck pizza
Woah woah woah woah woah WOAH. woah. There is no need to be saying things we can't take back.

[Anonymous No.10548145]

>>10545424
you couldn't punch yourself in the nuts.

[Anonymous No.10548153]

>>10546443
direct them to pork, as it tastes better.

[Anonymous No.10548159]

>>10546856
stop smoking. alternatively, your palate is shit, sucks to be you.

[Anonymous No.10548183]

Nigga you know that alien gonna eat your liver and human liver will be meme food on alien /ck/

[Anonymous No.10549111]

>>10545852

[Anonymous No.10549131]

>>10545222
Correct, pickles belong on deli sandwiches.

[Anonymous No.10549135]

>>10548122
serious question, are you gay?

[Anonymous No.10549156]

>>10545144
I'm sure he'd be very excited

[Anonymous No.10549182]

>>10545144
My family called them cheese sandwhich. Are we retarded ?

[Anonymous No.10549197]

My burglar from a few nights ago. Burglars are the cornerstone of any nutritious diet.

[Anonymous No.10549206]

>>10549182
yeah kinda

[Anonymous No.10549209]

>>10549197
I want to date that onion

[Anonymous No.10549234]

>>10549182
Yes.

>>10549209
Pretty sure you could get jail time for that.

[Anonymous No.10549252]

>>10549197
Looks good, very In-n-Outy (but presumably not with the cheap flavorless beef that ruins theirs). I have to admit I prefer the cheap shitty hamburger buns. The nice thick ones like that bring too much bread and throw off the balance.

[Anonymous No.10549259]

>>10545852
From what we have observed on Earth, opportunistic omnivores seem to be the most intelligent, followed by carnivores with herbivores at the very end.

Meat provides the energy to sustain bigger brains and is much harder to get, requiring more advanced mental capacity.

If we ever meet intelligent aliens decently similar to us (aka from an earth-like environment), they will most likely eat meat.

[Anonymous No.10549270]

>>10549252
>In-n-Outy (but presumably not with the cheap flavorless beef that ruins theirs
In N Out actually uses deliciously fresh and never frozen beef, you just have bad taste.

[Anonymous No.10549283]

>>10545216
>it has your grain
That's not my fucking grain, man. You take it.

[Anonymous No.10549315]

>>10549259
But what if they're from an extremely close-to-the-sun planet with a super-thick atmosphere, resulting in high powered photosynthesis and allowing plants to have tons of excess energy to create defenses, resulting in herbavores being the most robust and "hunting" the higher energy food?

[Anonymous No.10549323]

Don't give aliens meat. A species that is advanced enough for space travel would be offended that other species are still eating meat. They would evolved to the point where they can subsist on vegetation and not subject other animals to torture.

[Anonymous No.10549327]

>>10549323
you will be the first to be eaten by klaptorg

[Anonymous No.10549329]

>>10549270
>deliciously fresh and never frozen beef
Is this like some stealth wendy's marketer trying to pretend it's the freezing rather than the using cheap beef from scraps and dairy cattle that makes burgers flavorless?

[Anonymous No.10549357]

>>10549327
How do you season someone so wrong to make them at least taste right?

[Anonymous No.10549360]

>>10549315
we don't even know if it's possible for advanced lifeforms to evolve in Mercury-like conditions
>>10549323
aliens would most likely have completely different morality from us, it's fucking stupid to assume they'll be "morally superior" compared to us (by our standards of course, which does not make any sense)

[Anonymous No.10549362]

>>10549357
what

[Anonymous No.10549366]

>>10545387
Wait a sec, so a tomato, who's genetically a fruit, in its code and how its brought up,
but because its generally used a different way,
its therefore classified as something that it genetically is not.


but trans ppl arent tomatos so its diff ig

[Anonymous No.10549399]

>>10549327
This. They literally will be searching for any carbon based life to harvest for food since they long ago scorched their home planet like we're doing today to the earth. Good luck having them accept your explanation you have a soul and are sentient since they will view you as a walking carbon stick, much like we view deer today.

[Anonymous No.10549403]

>>10545144
Only if it's served medium well.

[Anonymous No.10549407]

>>10549360
Mercury has practically no atmosphere. It would have to be very specific; enough atmosphere of the right type that it keeps the planet from overheating but doesn't cause a green house effect like on Venus.

[Anonymous No.10549478]

>>10545852
>>10549315
Any sufficiently advanced species wouldn't care what the source of the organic matter is. Animal, plant, fungus, wouldn't care. Down the hatch.

[Anonymous No.10549509]

>>10545144
fuck off Randy

[Anonymous No.10549523]

>>10545165
criminally underrated

[Anonymous No.10549622]

>>10545144
Don't feed the Klaptorg.

[Anonymous No.10549902]

>>10549209
purple/red onion are the only onions that belong on burglars

>>10549252
thanks. it's actually a frozen patty from aldi. i normally use a brioche bun, but they were out and i went with their batatoE bun.