What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee

[Anonymous No.10532671]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

[Anonymous No.10532698]

>>10532671

I pay 1.83 for a Starbucks refill and I like their black coffee just fine. Bacon is good on burgers and for breakfast.

[Anonymous No.10532705]

nice post bro. mind if i share with my r/4channers?

[Anonymous No.10532756]

Coffee makes your penis small and bacon is forbidden by god

[Anonymous No.10532780]

>>10532756
is this true? i drink coffee everyday with every meal and i have small penis . will stop drinking coffee make my penis bigger ?

[Anonymous No.10532811]

>>10532671
Have some respect for the dead.