Devilish food tactics

[Anonymous No.10530084]

>lettuce says to wash before eating
>eat it without washing

[Anonymous No.10530111]

>>10530084
>”silica gel: do not eat”
>eat it anyway

[Anonymous No.10530136]

>>10530084
>let meat come to room temperature before cooking
>don't

[Anonymous No.10530139]

>bottle says shake well before using
>i only shake it decent

[Anonymous No.10530169]

>label states cook for 12-14 minutes
>cook for 11 minutes

[Anonymous No.10530176]

>package says to put noodles in boiling water for 5 minutes
>put it in before it's even boiling
>take them out after 4 minutes

[Anonymous No.10530188]

>package says 400 F for 20 minutes
>cook at 450 for 15

[Anonymous No.10530196]

>after cooking, a use fork to fluff rice
>fluffed it with a spoon

[Anonymous No.10530207]

>let dirty dish sit for FAR too long
>beyond cleanable, throw dish in trash and never speak of it again
>been doing this for years I miss foul bachelor frog memes

[Anonymous No.10530212]

>>10530084
Hope you like eating dirt and shit then

[Anonymous No.10530327]

>>10530084
>Cook chicken thoroughly
>I cook it medium

[Anonymous No.10530404]

>coffee says to let brew for 4 minutes
>only let it brew for 3 minutes and 59 seconds

[Anonymous No.10530475]

>PERIODICALLY STIRRING

[Anonymous No.10530503]

>"allow food to cool before serving"
>don't

[Anonymous No.10530519]

>drain excess fat
>assuming i'm not american

[Anonymous No.10530542]

>recipe calls for unsalted butter
>use coconut oil instead

[Anonymous No.10530829]

>>10530084
How to Get Parasites 101

[Anonymous No.10530940]

>>10530212
Lurk moar

[Anonymous No.10531068]

>open fresh bag of bread
>throw plastic tab in trash

[Anonymous No.10531082]

>>10530139
SNEED

[Anonymous No.10531094]

>>10531068
Pure evil

[Anonymous No.10531109]

>"warning: cook before eating" on the bacon package
>eat it raw

[Anonymous No.10531118]

>>10530196

you devil

[Anonymous No.10531123]

>package says to share it with friends
>I don't have friends

[Anonymous No.10531137]

>hey anon finish up your meal, kids in africa are starving
>throw it into the trash, ask for another dish and throw it into the trash in front of him

[Anonymous No.10531158]

>>10531123
Kek. Don't worry Anon, I am your friend.

[Anonymous No.10531167]

>get new cups
>"wash before first use"
>don't

[Anonymous No.10531176]

This thread is hilarious

[Anonymous No.10531180]

>>10531123
>>10531158
Anon I declare myself your enemy, cancelling out that other guys friendship.

[Anonymous No.10531253]

>>10530207
Devilish

[Anonymous No.10531254]

>>10531180
Thats all they say until they find a better rival

[Anonymous No.10531258]

>>10531137
DIABOLICALLY DEVILISH

[Anonymous No.10531369]

>>10530084
>eating something that can talk

[Anonymous No.10531388]

>recipe says to let rise for 30 minutes
>let it rise for 45 minutes

[Anonymous No.10531500]

>>10530084
>fluff rice with fork
>use spatula

[Anonymous No.10531528]

>Set cleaning mode for oven.
>Oven was already clean.

[Anonymous No.10531529]

>package says drink responsibly
>nig out and doesn't take responsibility at all

[Anonymous No.10531553]

>serves 3
>eat all by myself

[Anonymous No.10531638]

>>10531137
10/10 archdemon

[Anonymous No.10531642]

>>10530084
Enjoy you e. coli I guess.

[Anonymous No.10531651]

>>10531642
newfag

[Anonymous No.10531660]

>rinse all my cups instead of washing them
ONE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

[Anonymous No.10531680]

>>10531651
t. newfag

[Anonymous No.10532156]

>recipe says to let sit overnight and finish the next day
>let it sit overday and finish the next night

[Anonymous No.10532161]

>cut a slit in the plastic over the vegetables
>poke it with a fork instead

[Anonymous No.10532172]

These threads are as gay as the OP. Very.

[Anonymous No.10532206]

>>10530084
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/romaine-lettuce-e-coli-outbreak-worsens-98-people-now-sick-n869681

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/health/ct-genetics-food-poisoning-20180430-story.html

hmmm

[Anonymous No.10532213]

>refrigerate after opening and use up within 3 days
>consume it on the fourth day
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYEEEEEEEEEES

[Anonymous No.10532234]

>>10530084
>buys a 500g mayonnaise and use it once
>use it even after stored for 5 years after expire date

[Anonymous No.10532237]

>>10532206
rinsing with water will not remove noticeable amount of the bacterias. Once the leaves has touched mexican feces, you'll need proper bleaching on them, which is about the same as throwing them out because wtf man it's fucking lettuce

[Anonymous No.10532244]

>says stir occasionally
>actually stir constantly

[Anonymous No.10532270]

>>10532237
Water + vinegar = win. After so many years eating raw onions, recently i realize after cutting slices out of them there is some thin hair like worms crawling out after awhile. Then I started to look for ways of killing it via alchohol, vinegar and salt. Mum's old teaching was salt but these fuckers i assume they're tolerant to salt since the earth or dirt is salty anyway.

[Anonymous No.10532294]

>>10532237
>Once the leaves has touched mexican feces

When will this meme end? the strain of E. coli found in the lettuce does not occur in human waste. It comes from cattle/ cow feces.

[Anonymous No.10532310]

>making spaghetti
>out of sauce
>use ketchup instead

[Anonymous No.10532338]

>recipe says to season to taste
>just dig in without seasoning at all

[Anonymous No.10532450]

>>10532294
>mexican cow feces

[Anonymous No.10532474]

>>10530084
How does the e.coli taste?

[Anonymous No.10532484]

>>10532270
what country?

[Anonymous No.10532493]

>>10530176
hey i do that too
i've booked my place in hell now :D

[Anonymous No.10532498]

>>10531258
what THE FUCK was it?
*nervous_frog.jpg*

[Anonymous No.10532508]

>eat angel food cake
>I'm human

[Anonymous No.10532521]

>>10532206
>e coli
>cured by rinsing with water
doctors btfo

[Anonymous No.10532541]

>purchase fast food
>disguise it as own cooking

[Anonymous No.10532546]

>>10532498
>>/ck/thread/S10530084#p10531137

[Anonymous No.10532548]

>>10532541
I thought we were having steamed clams?

[Anonymous No.10532553]

>>10532541

[Anonymous No.10532625]

>>10532484
Thirdworld shithole, but the onions with worms are from fucking india, stopped buying indian and buying chinese now.

[Anonymous No.10532645]

>>10532625
thanks for confirming, i got nervous for a second. I've never heard of worms in onions.

[Anonymous No.10532712]

>>10532546
THAT ANON WAS OUT OF LINE

[Anonymous No.10534447]

>>10532541
Delightfully devilish, Seymour

[Anonymous No.10535506]

>>10530176
gonna start doing this

[Anonymous No.10535908]

>>10530188
my aunt cooks for 5 min at 800

rip aunt Steinberg

[Anonymous No.10535911]

>>10530084
>Creamer says to use within 14 days of opening
>Don't start counting until the day after I open it

[Anonymous No.10535921]

>>10530084
>Cook Kosher Sausage
>In bacon grease

[Anonymous No.10535922]

>bake for 15 minutes at 350
>bake for 12 minutes at 350 amd then crank it up to 500 for th last few minutes

[Anonymous No.10536067]

>pour milk in first, then add cereal

[Anonymous No.10536087]

>>10532645
Anything grown natural ground have it. The key is to cook it, unless you planted it yourself, stuff planted large scale uses all kinds of stuff contaminated from cow feed to cow dung, except the cow is vaccinated then when the dug excreted will be contaminated with worm eggs then proceeds to made into fertilizer then back the the plants. You'd be supprised what you can see with microscope, just don't worry too much.

[Anonymous No.10536092]

>>10536067
you've gone too far anon

[Anonymous No.10536093]

>>10531369
Go to bed Hannibal

[Anonymous No.10536123]

>>10531068
>open bag of bread
>put the plastic tab on the counter
>just twist and fold the bag when I'm done

[Anonymous No.10536135]

>added too much salt, food is too salty
>add sugar to balance it

[Anonymous No.10536141]

>>10536123
>open bag of bread
>toss plastic clip
>just put the open bag on the shelf

[Anonymous No.10536155]

>>10532541
Surely, you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!

[Anonymous No.10536191]

>>10536087
Fuck, I love raw onions, I thought I was safe

[Anonymous No.10536222]

>lets cup-o-noodles set in lukewarm water
>eats

[Anonymous No.10536230]

>read recipe online
>didn't bother to read about the authors life story

[Anonymous No.10536233]

>>10536067
>pour powdered milk
>add ice cube and water
>add cereal before cube is melted

[Anonymous No.10536240]

>>10536191
Well I can give you another few to worry about, bananas. Try breaking them piece by piece to eat instead of just chewing them straight after peeling. I once ate bananas "the usual way" and i ended up chewing a bunch of crunchy worms, suprising thing is the banana is perfect from the outside. Then you have these chinese mandarin with the worms like the onions except it's shorter and stubbier. Food man, it's always something bigger eating something smaller. I love foods Nd love to cook but there is stuffs that we need to make sure before we serve. Working in F&B industry just makes me stop eating out like i used to.

[Anonymous No.10536342]

>>10536230
Interesting idea. I might try this one.

[Anonymous No.10537023]

>put boiling water in cup noodles
>cover and leave for 3 minutes

>have to take a shit, leave it for like 20 mins
>come back to noodles that have absorbed all the soup without getting too soggy somehow

just fucking amazing desu

[Anonymous No.10537238]

>>10530111
Fun fact: silica gel is only toxic in huge quantities. They tell you not to eat it so you don't choke on the little packet.

[Anonymous No.10537281]

>>10537238
I don't think it's toxic at all IIRC. It's just completely indigestible and absorbs water, so if you eat too much, it can block up your intestines.

[Anonymous No.10537637]

>>10537023
>without getting too soggy
>implying noodles can be too soggy

[Anonymous No.10537742]

>>10530139
>Sign says to fuck and suck customers
>Feed and seed them instead

[Anonymous No.10537754]

>>10531068
>life is for pleasure
For all his accurate criticisms of women Schopenhauer certainly thought like one.

[Anonymous No.10537758]

>>10531158
No you're not

[Anonymous No.10538307]

>make reddit thread
>spam the shit out of it
(you)

[Anonymous No.10538498]

>package says "refrigerate after opening"
>don't refrigerate after opening

[Anonymous No.10538516]

>>10532161
im glad i am not alone