/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10340578]

>waiter gets down on one knee to take your order

[Anonymous No.10340615]

>>10340578
blow me.

[Anonymous No.10340637]

>>10340615
yes sir
*sucks your hard little cock while you squirm & moan*

[Anonymous No.10340650]

>>10340578
Why do they do this??

[Anonymous No.10340656]

>>10340650
To hear what you are saying over the background noise?

[Anonymous No.10340811]

>>10340650
>Why do they do this??
Some flimsy research says that waiters who lower themselves to eye-level with the customers get more tips.

Same reason cute girls will always find an excuse to rub up against your arm at some establishments

[Anonymous No.10340819]

>>10340578
>top 10 times waiter knee moments ft despacito ft 4k **** DOLBY ATMOS**** (GONE MENTAL)

[Anonymous No.10340876]

>>10340578
>be turbomanlet
>the hostess asks me if I need a kids menu
>brings over a high chair to my table

[Anonymous No.10340885]

>>10340578

Its to compensate for little people

[Anonymous No.10340903]

>>10340578
>Waiter sits at table to take your order

[Anonymous No.10341125]

>be me
>go to local restaurant with gf
>order drinks
>waitress kneels down to take orders
>gf orders a French Dip
>and you, anon?
>order same and then ass, "while you're down there, wanna do me a favor?
>waitress asks, "like what?"
>you could suck my dick, for starters
>waitress replies, I thought you'd never ask
>crawls under table, unzips me and starts licking the head of my dick
>start getting hard
>gf asks, is she really doing it?
>I say fuck yeah ans she's had practice
>gf slides under table and now 2 chicks are blowing me
>I glance under tabl and my gf has 2 fingers in the waitress' pussy and a thumb in her butt
>she's giving her a good fucking
>waitress keeps blowing me
>restaurant owner comes to my table
>everything all right sir?
>I'm fine I say, getting ready to blow a big load
>h walks away as I shoot into the waitress mouth, and hear the ladies under my table climax together
>my gf was frigging herself while she fingered the waitress
>both come up
>guess I should get you those French Dips
>she walks toward the kitchen
>gf looks coyly at me
>so are you going to give her a big tip?
>fuck no
>why not?
>she's my half-sister and she owe me a lot of money
>gf looks confused
>I'm getting hard again, why don't you suck me off while we wait for our French Dips
>gf crawls under table and blows me again
>French Dips come and we eat them and all the French fries, too
>leave 18% tip, because she is my half-sister
>the end

[Anonymous No.10342201]

>>10341125
good for you

[Anonymous No.10342212]

>>10341125
But how does he get out without the eggs breaking?

[Anonymous No.10342217]

>>10340811
>Some flimsy research says that waiters who lower themselves to eye-level with the customers get more tips.
This, but also, I think that their feet hurt/back hurts, and it's a momentary weight off of one foot.

[Anonymous No.10342228]

>>10340578
Waiter spreads his ass and suctions it to your neck

[Anonymous No.10342255]

>>10341125
Why did you write all of that

[Anonymous No.10342288]

>>10340903
does this really happen

[Anonymous No.10342334]

>>10342212
lmao

[Anonymous No.10342349]

>>10342217
This is the real reason. If you're at an informal, local restaurant and the waiters do it, it's usually so the atmosphere is friendlier, or so the owner of my workplace has said.

[Anonymous No.10343486]

>waiter follows you home to take your order

[Anonymous No.10343620]

>tell waiter order
>waiter tips you
>waiter brings food
>tip waiter back
only in america

[Anonymous No.10343624]

>>10340650
Makes it easier to hold giant wine bottles.

[Anonymous No.10343649]

>>10340615
>>10340637

[Anonymous No.10343657]

>>10342349
it is a more comfortable thing for guys to do while girls might try and sit at the table. usually if the energy is right it's totally acceptable, unless they're constantly doing it then it gets weird.

[Anonymous No.10345217]

>>10342212
Fucking zozzle

[Anonymous No.10345225]

>>10343486
>waiter follows you to the grave to take your order

[Anonymous No.10345229]

So he's a waiter now?

[Anonymous No.10345239]

>>10340811
I have always heard it's good for serving a table with kids (getting on their level makes them feel important and not like the server is talking down to them so it makes sense) but not for adults

[Anonymous No.10345243]

>>10340876
>Fuck waitress in bathroom stall after meal

[Anonymous No.10345256]

>>10340876
Reminds me of the dick head videos where people order off the kids menu that clearly states it is for a certain age group only and proceed to film getting mad when they have to pay full price.

[Anonymous No.10345260]

>>10340650
Keep a close watch for any sudden movements. 9 times out of ten the bastard's preparing to knee you in the jaw.

[Anonymous No.10345262]

>>10340578
>When you ask for your steak Cleveland instead of Pittsburgh by mistake

[Anonymous No.10345264]

>>10340650
because we can't hear your fucking autistic mumbling so we have to get closer to hear you. speak the fuck up when you go out to eat.

[Anonymous No.10345275]

>waiter comes to table
>”bend the kneel, wageslave”
>bends

[Anonymous No.10345368]

>>10345275
Pretty much this. He's being obsequious and subservient paying grovelling homage to his master (you) who hold him in thralldom and can sentence him to a night of starvation by withholding his pittance of tip. He'd lick the soles of your shoes if you told him to.

[Anonymous No.10345371]

>>10340650
would you rather give your order to someone's face or someone's crotch? Never mind, don't answer that....

[Anonymous No.10345522]

>>10345225
>waiter follows you to the gates of heaven to take your order

[Anonymous No.10345540]

>>10340578
>"You 'bout to propose to me, bro?"

[Anonymous No.10345543]

>>10345275
>bend the kneel

[Anonymous No.10345569]

>>10342228
That's quite a mental image

[Anonymous No.10345571]

>>10345371
Crotch definitely

[Anonymous No.10345616]

>>10345371
>hand not only un-hovered but sliding up leg to the promised land while people watch and take pictures
future chad in progress

[Anonymous No.10345628]

>>10345522
>waiter rescues you from the depths of hell dante's inferno style to take your order

[Anonymous No.10345648]

>>10340903
>go to bufallo wild wings by myself
>sit down in booth
>waiter sits down across from me
>"looks like its just you and me huh? what're you having?"
>can't look him in the eye
>leave

i hate this

[Anonymous No.10345668]

>>10341125
bullshit

[Anonymous No.10345673]

>>10345648
lost

[Anonymous No.10346570]

>>10345668

no this happens more than you think in flyover country, fucking waitresses are horny as hell

when a waitress goes to one knee, you're on your way bj-town, buckeroo

[Anonymous No.10346596]

>>10340903
>>10342288
I had a chick do this once when I was on a date and it was so weird I couldn't get over it.

[Anonymous No.10346672]

>>10340578
Like he’s talking to children...

[Anonymous No.10346691]

>>10345275
>'wageslave'
>Works for tips
>Doesn't make a wage

[Anonymous No.10346724]

>>10340578
Why he looks like he's taking a dump?

[Anonymous No.10346747]

>when you're forging a steak knife on your anvil in preparation for your meal and they ask you to leave because you're disturbing the other customers
I make sure to drag the anvil out of the door so it leaves rust stains on it just to piss them off that bit extra.

[Anonymous No.10346829]

>>10346724
Didn't you order italian meatballs?

[Anonymous No.10346837]

>>10346691
a wage can be hourly, you dope

[Anonymous No.10346853]

>>10346837
Tips aren't hourly either.

[Anonymous No.10346858]

>>10346837
>Tips are hourly

[Anonymous No.10346872]

I really don't like waiters, I hope I live to see the day when they are replaced by robots tbqh