/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10338525]

Confess

[Anonymous No.10338552]

>>10338525
I take swigs of my roomate's half n half.

[Anonymous No.10338558]

i'm the jiroposter

[Anonymous No.10338561]

>>10338558
hi you're funny do you want to go steady?

[Anonymous No.10338653]

I instigate the Jiro-poster. He's used my copypasta.

[Anonymous No.10338668]

>>10338525
I google recopies when I cook, and then pretend like I just knew it.

[Anonymous No.10338670]

Sometimes I eat carbs after 5pm.

[Anonymous No.10338672]

>>10338525
Monday I am partaking in an experiment. I am going to throw my hat in the ring as far as 'making frozen white castle burgers taste good' which is a challenge handed down to fatasses that has yielded no positive results to my knowledge.

Challenge accepted.

I am going to vacuum seal them two by two in plastic bags and then put them in a sous vide bath for an hour or so. Will it be edible? I have no clue. Will post results!

[Anonymous No.10338678]

I prefer burger king over mcdonalds and pepsi for coke

[Anonymous No.10338686]

I like Fish Sticks....

[Anonymous No.10338696]

I think Splenda diet Pepsi tastes better than Aspartame diet Pepsi.

[Anonymous No.10338748]

>>10338686
That's not so bad, Anon. What's bad was me consistently fucking them up.

>Ooops you overcooked them. Enjoy your chewy fish jerky!

>Ooops you undercooked them. That's nas-ty but you're hungry and eat them anyway.

>Ooops you are out of tartar sauce and now you must eat boring fish pieces.

>Ooops you ate a entire box in one sitting. Now you can feel fucking bloated and gross all day.

[Anonymous No.10338868]

I like cold canned green peas with mayo. It never occurred to me until recently that this might be weird.

[Anonymous No.10340213]

I am too lazy to actually cook food, I just eat sandwiches all day.

Worst part is that I'm an actual chef

[Anonymous No.10340284]

>>10338525
I like pineapple on pizza, burgers and ham ciabatta

[Anonymous No.10340318]

>>10338525
I'm an asshole. Eating wise, I have nothing to confess, because I'm not ashamed of anything I do.

[Anonymous No.10340331]

>>10338525
I was following a recipe that called for red wine vinegar. I used apple cider vinegar. I didnt tell anyone.

[Anonymous No.10340409]

I fap to Kay's good cooking vids. I imagine the metallic taste of her greasy pussy and then her straddling me, milking my dick. Afterwards she brings me up toast, bake beans and sausages to eat in bed for being her good boy

[Anonymous No.10340422]

>>10338653
300 dorrar and all is forgiven.

[Anonymous No.10340425]

>>10338525
One of my favourite foods is a poultry hearts and stomachs goulash. It is mindnumbingly good.
Other one is liver fried with onion.
I think british cuisine is universally trash, except for chips, blood sausage and scones.
I eat mortadella sandwiches pretty much every morning. Local shop owners are starting to look at me weird, because i literally just go there to buy buns and mortadella cuts.
Gordon Ramsay's scrambled eggs in a pot method is the absolute best method to make scrambled eggs.

[Anonymous No.10340504]

>>10338525
I miss the dollar menu at McDicks so fucking bad, the days of getting fat and bloated as fuck on 6 bucks of McGangbangs are over and it pisses me off to no end.

[Anonymous No.10340830]

I go to chick fil a just to stock up on the sauce

[Anonymous No.10340869]

I've used a zucchini as a dildo before.

[Anonymous No.10341509]

I made a sandwich with 2 pieces of white bread, butter spread on both sides, and raw chopped onions, and then I ate it.

[Anonymous No.10341528]

>>10340869
Did you eat the zucchini afterwards or throw it away?

[Anonymous No.10341541]

>>10340869
don't the sharp knobby bits hurt going in

[Anonymous No.10341543]

>>10340409
This might be the worst thing I've ever read on this website.

[Anonymous No.10341573]

>>10338525
I eat sushi with cream cheese.

[Anonymous No.10341581]

>>10341573

[Anonymous No.10341805]

>>10340213
Seconded

I resort to a lot of crackers and rice cakes and just dip them in random shit

[Anonymous No.10341811]

>>10338525
I can't cook

[Anonymous No.10341932]

I hate alchohol. I haven't found a drink sweet enough to mask the taste of alchohol.

[Anonymous No.10341978]

>>10338525
im on a diet and i came here everyday just to look at pictures of food.

Even when im not hungry

[Anonymous No.10342021]

>>10341811
this

also, my diet has been trash ever since i got with my gf
cheesecaske factory with cheesecake dinner 4 times a month, fast food damn near every day
my stomach has been all kinds of fucked up

[Anonymous No.10342040]

>>10342021
My roommate is like that with his gf. They eat like shit all the time and they are both getting fatter. I imagined that if you were in a relationship you would want to keep yourself super fuckable. But they don't seem to care.

[Anonymous No.10342125]

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself, ooh
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no.

[Anonymous No.10342422]

>>10338525
Been dieting for 3 months perfectly and ruined it all by drinking around 10L of pop in the past two days

[Anonymous No.10342431]

>>10338696

[Anonymous No.10342451]

>>10338525
I unironically like plain club crackers. I can eat like 3 boxes of them without getting bored of them.

[Anonymous No.10342550]

I put soy sauce in pasta sauce and tomato soup

[Anonymous No.10342557]

Nig

[Anonymous No.10342560]

i am an emaciated faggot (26 years old, 5'9" 130 lbs) and the only thing i eat for lunch every day is a sandwich. not even a good sandwich, literally just wheat bread,mayo and dijon mustard, and some lunch meat (usually ham). not even cheese or lettuce or tomatoes or anything. its what ive eaten as my main lunch since i was in middle school

[Anonymous No.10343141]

>>10340504
This except sausage mcmuffins. I'll quite literally never voluntarily eat there again

[Anonymous No.10343145]

i spammed slop o shit to see how fast i could get it filtered and to see if people would still say it at all a month or two later, and am happy with the results

[Anonymous No.10343150]

I liked the fucking meme sauce.

[Anonymous No.10343158]

>>10338525
I haven't eaten at McDonalds in 5 months.

[Anonymous No.10343190]

I haven't eaten fast food in a week and I feel fucking fantastic

[Anonymous No.10343196]

>>10338525
I give myself enemas with my half-and-half, then put it back in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.10343217]

I throw away the icing in Oreos and just eat the chocolate biscuits

the icing is fucking garbage

[Anonymous No.10343228]

I eat two $5 boxes from taco bell every Sunday

[Anonymous No.10343856]

>>10340409
Never post this again Lee

[Anonymous No.10344088]

>>10338686
What are you, a gay fish?

[Anonymous No.10344104]

I put these on coca-cola

[Anonymous No.10344125]

>>10344104
both sweet af so probably not horrible.
idk why you'd prefer coke over a nice glass of milk though.

[Anonymous No.10344681]

>be wagecucking in grocery store
>going to take out trash
>sees garbage container with plastic bag full of yesterday’s pastry
>fuck ;_;
>couldn’t resist
>opened the bag and munched 3 spandauers, 3 donuts and 2 donuts filled with cream
>felt like a disgusting piece of shit afterwards
I’m not fat tho

[Anonymous No.10344695]

>>10344681
>not fat tho
Just delusional then is it?

[Anonymous No.10344739]

>>10344681
>im not fat tho
And im the prime minister of Britain

[Anonymous No.10344883]

>>10338525
I fucked a tranny in a McDonald’s parking lot. It was breddy gud desu.

[Anonymous No.10344970]

>>10340284
As long as you don't like anchovies on pizza then there's hope

[Anonymous No.10344974]

>>10344739
hi theresa

[Anonymous No.10344986]

>>10344681
>this is how wagies live
>eating out of dumpsters at work
not surprised

[Anonymous No.10344993]

>>10344970
>Not liking the best pizza topping on pizza
Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.10345014]

>>10338525
if i can detect what i've eaten in my farts it makes me smile

[Anonymous No.10345039]

>>10338525
Yesterday I got drunk and posted a Jiro thread.

[Anonymous No.10345053]

>>10338525
I put peanut butter on my pizza and spread grape jelly on the crust when I eat it at the end

[Anonymous No.10345077]

>>10338525
I secretly stick my dick into my roommates jar of creamy peanut butter at least once a week.

[Anonymous No.10345085]

>>10344681
>work in the pastry section at the grocery store
>nearing the end of the day, a bunch of pastry we have is getting a bit too old to sell
>head off to the bathroom to rub one out
>finger my asshole a little because I'm a faggot
>don't wash my hands
>get back to work
>toss out the pastry
>no gloves
>nobody's gonna eat it anyway, right?

[Anonymous No.10345133]

I can't stop masturbating to sissy videos

[Anonymous No.10345158]

>>10345085
Homeless but those aren't really people anymore so it doesn't matter

[Anonymous No.10345615]

>>10345085
That’s kinda hot considering it’s a woman who works there who are extremely THICC

[Anonymous No.10345630]

>>10343196
but do you drink it

[Anonymous No.10345751]

>>10338525
i canceled a fully paid for trip just so i can take part in a "think outside the box" food challenge when on the list of the participants i saw the name of the man i once witnessed bullying his kid sister to tears - complete with physical abuse.

This was early 80s, I was 6 maybe, she was around my age, he was 18-19. Never forgot it. I will stop at nothing, im above nothing. haven't seen him in 30 years, he might be a saint now. I'm still going to fucking humiliate him.

[Anonymous No.10345770]

i'm a thirsty, desperate bitch and will fuck anyone who offers
joke's on me because no one wants to fuck me

[Anonymous No.10345774]

>>10345770
Probably because youre a fatass and bitchy

[Anonymous No.10345780]

>>10340409
>I fap to Kay's
STOPPED reading right there

[Anonymous No.10346280]

>>10345770
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

[Anonymous No.10348288]

>>10338552
I'd rather my roomate fuck my boyfriend behind my back than put her filthy dirty roastie herpes lips on my half and half

[Anonymous No.10348306]

>>10345770
L-London?

[Anonymous No.10348401]

>>10343141
Thanks for reminding me, that was my breakfast every day over the summer. Micks can fucking eat a dick.

[Anonymous No.10348419]

>>10338525
I put corn on my pizza

[Anonymous No.10348506]

>>10348419
Nigger

[Anonymous No.10348508]

>>10345770
99% chance you’re fat

[Anonymous No.10348512]

>>10338653
>>10340422

I'm pretty sure there are like 3+ Jiro posters on here

[Anonymous No.10348883]

>>10338525
No.

[Anonymous No.10349149]

>>10348512
I'd like to think at the beginning it was just one guy trying to force it Milhouse style.

[Anonymous No.10349469]

>>10348512
at least post the correct unpopped version

[Anonymous No.10349527]

I have eaten nothing but these for lunch for nearly 2 years running now

[Anonymous No.10349627]

I like Cincinnati style chili.

[Anonymous No.10349829]

>>10349627
Skyline is god tier. Non Ohioan opinions need not apply

[Anonymous No.10349846]

>>10338525
>>10348509

[Anonymous No.10349880]

>>10340869
Same, except it was just cucumber. I was gonna eat it but I kinda crushed it during the process. Sad

[Anonymous No.10349886]

>>10342040
I guess they reached the stage where they're very comfortable with each other and doesn't care much about physical appearance.

[Anonymous No.10349897]

>>10349886
Until his gf finds him unattractive and moves on to the next guy.

[Anonymous No.10349898]

I fucking love McDonald's and if I could eat it every day of my life without gaining weight I absolutely would. Also SzeChaun sauce is good as fuck despite the Rick and Memey shit surrounding it.

[Anonymous No.10349905]

>>10338653
can you give me a quick rundown? subject matter doesn't interest me so I'm not watching it, spoil this whole thing please.

[Anonymous No.10349908]

I cum on my wife's food before serving it to her. She doesn't know i do this.

[Anonymous No.10349910]

I BREAK SPAGHETTI

[Anonymous No.10349926]

>>10349898
You CAN eat there every day and lose weight. There was a documentary put out to btfo (((supersize me))) where the guy ate every meal there but ate under his TDEE and he lost weight

[Anonymous No.10349941]

>>10349908
My boyfriend and I were planning to make doughnuts glazed with his jizz and feed it to his douchebag roommate

[Anonymous No.10349957]

>>10338525
I think pepsi is better than coke but I still think thums up is the best.

[Anonymous No.10349963]

I've been browsing /ck/ for over 10 years.

[Anonymous No.10350286]

>>10340409
>I fap to kay's
Anon..

[Anonymous No.10352404]

>>10338672
Did he ever post updates?

[Anonymous No.10352552]

>>10338525
I drink a few liters of diet cola a day and only eat potatoes.

[Anonymous No.10353164]

>>10338525
I eat ramen raw

[Anonymous No.10353444]

>>10349910
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.10353497]

>>10352404
Hello, that's me! They're going in tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.10353509]

I don't know how to cook or buy groceries or anything. I don't know how to buy stuff without it going bad before I can use all of it so I just eat out everyday for every meal for the past year.
The only thing I can cook is an omelette because it's just eggs, salt, and butter. One time I tried making crepes and out of all the batter I used I only ended up making one decent crepe and it was undercooked.
Despite my cooking disability I still come to /ck/ and save recipes that I'll never cook because I don't know how to plan meals or cook or anything.

[Anonymous No.10353673]

>>10343158
well done,over 3-4 years here

[Anonymous No.10353684]

before 2 or so weeks ago i kept the fact that i'm great at cooking a secret from my family and now i regularly wow them with monthly dinners

also i buy take and bake pizzas as they are and don't bake them

[Anonymous No.10353903]

>>10349941
>giving out free gainz

[Anonymous No.10354780]

>>10352552
how the fuck are you alive

[Anonymous No.10354789]

>>10338525
After making purist coffee all week, once in a blue moon I enjoy going to a micky D for heavy cream with syrup and some coffee called frappe coffee

[Anonymous No.10354813]

>>10345077
I did it with her nivea cream to make sure he rubbed her tits with something I put my dick on

[Anonymous No.10354841]

>>10338525
Tried some ramen because went out with weeb friends, hated the eggs in the ramen. They tasted like pure salt.

[Anonymous No.10354858]

I'm addicted to eating cashews and almonds :(

[Anonymous No.10354921]

I just ate a whole jar of nutella in bed..

[Anonymous No.10354930]

>>10340213
These usually don't count as staff meal if you use one piece of bread folded over while eating it on the line.

[Anonymous No.10354935]

>>10338525
I eat a medium pizza from pizza Hut every day, along with a multivitamin. I only do it because it's free, since work there. Haven't grocery shopped in months.

[Anonymous No.10354936]

>>10354921
You're hurting the rainforest. Eat a can of beans next time.

[Anonymous No.10354937]

I love getting a couple of these and sticking them in the freezer and having a great snack a couple times a month.

[Anonymous No.10355002]

>>10338525
>I’ve done the milk challenge 4-5 times, never succeeded
>I refuse to eat brown guacamole or avacado
>I hate washing dishes by hand and throw everything in the washer
>one time when I was still living at my parents, I ratted out my stepsister for using the family dishwasher to wash her dildo and they kicked her out of the house

[Anonymous No.10355020]

>>10338525
For me, it really is 4 McChickens with the white cheese, slivered onion and tomato.
Fat as fuck

[Anonymous No.10355170]

>>10338670
huh?

[Anonymous No.10355182]

My linguine with clam sauce recipe that I use to slay bitches is directly stolen from Rachael Ray.

[Anonymous No.10355194]

>>10355002
What's wrong with putting a dong in the dishwasher?

[Anonymous No.10355196]

>>10338868
The mayo thing is kinda gross but I love string beans straight out of the can. My wife hates it

[Anonymous No.10355199]

I broke up with a girl because she was too picky about what she'd eat. I could not possibly cook for her because she'd only eat chicken and fish. Specifically chicken (not fried, and not any other poultry), and whitefish (usually not oily fish and never shellfish). She believed red meat was intrinsically unhealthy. She would not go vegan either; the entree of a meal needed to have either chicken or fish as the protein.

[Anonymous No.10355251]

>>10355199
Good choice. Pussy isn't worth picky

[Anonymous No.10355515]

whenever i go to a friends house who has a hot mom or sister i try to cum in their food/drinks or whatevers in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.10355976]

>>10352404
Slowpoke is slow, sorry.
Here is the start. I let the burgers thaw so they'd cook faster before sealing and that was a huge mistake. The sealing process crushed the shit out of them.

[Anonymous No.10355995]

>>10355199
> never shellfish).
Not even in culinary terms are shellfish fish.

[Anonymous No.10356058]

>>10343145
I helped your cause, homie

[Anonymous No.10356224]

I wish I had a boyfriend so that I could feed him chili and he could fart in my face

[Anonymous No.10356236]

Sometimes i drink a glass of half and half milk as if it were regular milk because it's fucking delicious

[Anonymous No.10356241]

>>10355976
Yeah, they're smashed to fuck. Next time I am sealing them frozen. On the upside this is -the way to go- with these. Aesthetics aside these are perfect.

[Anonymous No.10356323]

>>10345751
Update us after you've destroyed him, anon.

[Anonymous No.10356341]

I rarely use condoms

[Anonymous No.10356370]

>>10349905
There was a very successful documentary called "Jiro Dreams of Sushi" (great btw) about some 90 year sushi chef called Jiro in Japan who owned like a triple Michelin star sushi restaurant in Japan, and it being triple starred- costs a lot (specifically 300 per person) and people joke thats its too expensive for raw fish on rice.

[Anonymous No.10356391]

Whenever I have leftover pizza, I put each individual slice in its own Ziploc bag. I think it looks nice that way.

My friends thought I was legitimately insane when they saw 20+ bags of pizza in my fridge.

[Anonymous No.10356723]

i orbit keemi, a mukbang youtuber, and i have an extensive collection of hot screenshots, videos, and texts that ive saved from spying on her over the years

from what ive seen across the internet i am the only person doing this to her specifically and i plan to make a megadump soon for fellow fans

[Anonymous No.10356729]

>>10356341
Based.

[Anonymous No.10356799]

i only come to this board when i've exhausted my usual haunts

[Anonymous No.10356812]

>>10356723
Show some proof.

[Anonymous No.10356877]

>>10356799
and what are those?

[Anonymous No.10356945]

>>10338525
I ate at maccas yesterday...

[Anonymous No.10356953]

I once went to an all you can eat sushi buffet.
I took the rolls apart to eat the fish and avacado and threw out everything else.

[Anonymous No.10357036]

>>10356812
please excuse the censoring

[Anonymous No.10357051]

>>10357036
I identify with this post very much.

[Anonymous No.10357083]

I eat fast food everyday. I try not to eat the same thing everyday though. For example, one day I'll have a burger, the next day I'll get Subway. Part of it is being lazy. The other part is I have social anxiety and don't like my roommates in the kitchen when I eat.

[Anonymous No.10358297]

I make chips (fries) in a saucepan filled 3/4 with lard, and reuse it multiple times. We call them chip pans.

[Anonymous No.10358471]

i have something wrong with my stomach so i just look at picture of food i can't eat

[Anonymous No.10358479]

sometime i drink the pickle juice or the juice from black olives

[Anonymous No.10358527]

I used 2 sticks of butter to make a beurre manie to thicken a soup. Instead I left the soup as is and ate all of the beurre manie out of the bowl.

[Anonymous No.10358535]

>>10338561

I need to know what the deleted post said

please respond

[Anonymous No.10358557]

this is my first time posting on /ck/

[Anonymous No.10358564]

>>10358557
hopefully your last too

[Anonymous No.10358567]

>>10338525
I'm eating a donut right now. I feel so gross

[Anonymous No.10358798]

I like my steak well done

[Anonymous No.10358842]

>>10344993
Ewww

[Anonymous No.10358844]

The majority of calories I've consumed today have probably come from potato chips

[Anonymous No.10358847]

I come to /ck/ one per year to spam “huh?” then get bored and leave again

[Anonymous No.10358857]

>>10356241
I'd like to thank you for updating your post. I was genuinely intrigued.
Thx guy

[Anonymous No.10358995]

>>10338525

I love muh sweets. Sometimes I indulge more often than I should, then punish myself by not eating much the next day.

[Anonymous No.10359192]

>>10338678
This.

[Anonymous No.10360573]

>>10358297
Do you at least refrigerate it in between uses? I save bacon grease in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.10360591]

>>10358479
YE
I also drink hot sauce and other sauces (like Worcestershire).

[Anonymous No.10360730]

>>10353509
If you can make a decent omelette then there’s still hope for you yet. Just keep cooking anon, you’ll fail a bunch but it’s a part of the learning process

[Anonymous No.10360738]

>>10354921
You practically ate a whole jar of cake frosting. Seek help

[Anonymous No.10360759]

>>10338525
I eat in excess to feel a head rush high...

[Anonymous No.10360763]

>>10338678
virtually nothing wrong with this.

[Anonymous No.10360768]

>>10344970
>>10358842
agree

[Anonymous No.10360796]

>>10356224
You don't have to feed me chili, I just get like that whenever I eat red meat now.

[Anonymous No.10360977]

>>10360796

[Anonymous No.10361045]

I will stop working out at the start of next week... Have to move out of my old apt by Tuesday, move in with parents for a couple months until the job I was offered starts and can't justify driving literally 3 hours 3 times per week just for the gym - not because of the time, but because of the cost of fuel (yurop). Should I just do bw exercises? Or I might sign up at the local gym for like 2 months if I can, but I don't know if they even have a free weights area ;__;

[Anonymous No.10361058]

>>10357083
So eat in your room? It's what I've been doing for the past three years, for different reasons.

[Anonymous No.10361063]

>>10361045
Wait fuck this isn't /fit/

[Anonymous No.10361151]

I ate 4 slices of dominos pizza and 4 wings last night.

[Anonymous No.10361161]

>>10356391
>order a pizza
>have 20+ slices left
What the fuck

[Anonymous No.10361254]

>>10341978
Same here.

[Anonymous No.10361818]

I just sat down with a half pound of turkey and a jar of Dijon mustard and ate it all
Literally smearing mustard right onto the turkey and shoving it in my mouth
What’s wrong with me

[Anonymous No.10361825]

>>10361818
if you were /fit/ this would just be you getting your macros dude

[Anonymous No.10361829]

I hate ketchup

[Anonymous No.10361896]

I put onion soup mix and Worcestershire sauce in my burgers

[Anonymous No.10361996]

>>10349886
Worst part of a relationship. It's the phase that either makes it or breaks it desu

[Anonymous No.10362026]

>>10343217

[Anonymous No.10362203]

>>10349829
Are you from the college town, the pig farm town, or the ghetto town?

[Anonymous No.10362352]

>>10349829
Is this picture taken from a spoof website? I can see it on a website for a place called Skyline Chilli, but this looks so ridiculous I can't imagine it's a real place.

[Anonymous No.10362370]

>>10341573
That... Actually sounds kinda good.

[Anonymous No.10362402]

>>10355199
What does it matter what she has as a starter?

[Anonymous No.10362417]

>>10355020
Sounds pretty gud, what's it come out to with upcharges?

My confession is I love pizza lunchables. I buy like 6 and they last two days, so I don't get them much. But Walmart sells them for $1.50 each and it tempts me so.
Beats college when my stoner ass would buy 8 and eat them in one or two sittings in the same day.
They remind me of field trips as a young child and give me nostalgia tingles that are almost orgasmic.

[Anonymous No.10362432]

>>10360591
>Worcestershire
I love this shit so much I pour some in a shot glass and sip it once in a blue moon. But it's a bit much. I need a vehicle for massive amounts of worchestshire that won't make my mouth feel like I ate a bag of warheads.

[Anonymous No.10362607]

Hello, my name is anon, Im not actually an alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.10362617]

>>10348512
nope, i make 4

[Anonymous No.10362618]

>>10362432
Bloody Mary, Caesar, Welsh rarebit.

[Anonymous No.10362701]

>>10362432
Beans on fucking toast you fucking loony

[Anonymous No.10362852]

>>10356323
I really hope it happens, I'm putting together quite the insane menu here. I'm ashamed to be obsessing to this degree over something that happened.in another lifetime -- and not even directly to me. But... here we are.

[Anonymous No.10363112]

>>10349898
>not Reddit and Memey

[Anonymous No.10363122]

>>10353509
Check it out
>lentils
>kidney beans
>rice
>beef
Cook it all and mix it together. Add spice, I use some generic pre-mixed Cajun spice. It tastes good, it's good for you, it's cheap, and you can make days' worth of it at a time.

[Anonymous No.10363134]

>>10356241
Grats

[Anonymous No.10363139]

I just ate a whole Tony’s Pepperoni pizza.
How fucked is my stomach? How do I get rid of heartburn

[Anonymous No.10363148]

the worst thing i've ate in months was some pizza rolls and one whopper. I feel like an outcast. oh wait I ate a few shitty tv dinners so that is pretty bad.

[Anonymous No.10363213]

>>10338525
I once was in a parking lot of a pizza hut. I called my ex and made a deal with myself. If she yes to hanging out that day I wouldn't keep destroying my body by eating whole pizzas.

She didn't want to. But at least I got to eat a whole pizza by myself in my car...

[Anonymous No.10364549]

>>10360573
Nah just leave it to solidify in the pan.

[Anonymous No.10364903]

>>10338525
I ate an easter egg I found on the road outside coles

[Anonymous No.10365806]

>>10343217
this tbqhwyfampai

[Anonymous No.10365809]

>>10344883
proud of you, son

[Anonymous No.10365831]

>>10356241
they look really good dude, that shine on the buns is giving me a massive erection

[Anonymous No.10365849]

>store pours out expired drinks before throwing containers away
>something feels off about it because they always had me do it in a hidden room and told me to only do it when nobody was around
>taste the stuff before I pour it out
>before hand I only had 2% milk, now I have had them all
>tired every one of the premade coffee like drinks
>tasted those gallon jugs of tea, flavored sugar water, and whatever else
>sometimes I would get a few good gulps in if I was thirsty or liked the drink
>somehow I never got sick

[Anonymous No.10365850]

>>10343217
>the icing is fucking garbage
smarten up

[Anonymous No.10365858]

>>10354937
great idea

[Anonymous No.10365859]

>>10338525
Every so often I swipe of my roommates Capri Suns.

[Anonymous No.10365865]

>>10363139
alka seltzer/ any other antacid

[Anonymous No.10365873]

I love eating salmon with rice, beans, and grilled onions in a taco shell

[Anonymous No.10365881]

I love the taste of pepto bismol. I will eat the worst shit for me just so I can justify drinking the stuff. I also really enjoy that horrible feeling quickly vanishing after drinking it. I have considered just drinking it straight but I don't know if that is safe.

[Anonymous No.10365884]

I got high and ate potato wedges + small pancakes + 8/10th of a family XXL pizza from Dominos and my stomach hurt like fuck and I felt like shit in general.

Next time I won't get the (SHIT) potato wedges and I'll take a smaller pizza I guess.

[Anonymous No.10365919]

>>10340409
>I fap to Kay's good cooking vids

[Anonymous No.10365925]

I started to cut some months ago and lost about twenty pounds. But I still have my bitch tits, so I don't feel like I accomplished much. I guess I should start involving exercise and not bank entirely on a calorie deficit.

[Anonymous No.10366108]

I can't say the word 'miserably' out loud which makes describing my failed cooking attempts more difficult than it needs to be.

[Anonymous No.10367033]

>>10357036
>hanako

[Anonymous No.10367180]

>>10365925
>I guess I should start involving exercise
Calorie deficit exposes muscle. The excersize is to make the muscle underneath look better. Youll be fine after some months in the gym and you start to see progress

[Anonymous No.10368343]

>>10366108
Just say the word slowly and in parts. No word is impossible to pronounce unless you've got an actual physical disability

[Anonymous No.10368579]

>>10338748
>undercooked them

Just cook them further...??

[Anonymous No.10368780]

>>10349926
Yeah, but what about the salt and all the other shit. Kys yourself for spreading bullshit.

[Anonymous No.10369568]

>have a dumb two faced bitch of a co-worker who calls me her 'friend' (for the time being)
>hardcore condescending vegan who will never shut up about her lifestyle
>she tries the quinoa pilaf I brought to a work potluck and loves it
>usually make it at least once a week, decide to start bringing her a portion every time I bring it to work for lunch
>dumb bitch doesn't know I make it with a homemade chicken stock

Can't wait for her to stab me in the back so I can dump on her that she's been savoring the flavors of chicken carcass for the past 8 months. I hope she fucking cries.

[Anonymous No.10369636]

>>10367033
>not making a custom css for your waifu so shes always with you

[Anonymous No.10369644]

>>10338748
>out of tartar sauce
mayo + relish, thank me later

[Anonymous No.10370187]

>>10338552
Holy shit kill yourself

[Anonymous No.10370246]

>>10341509
At least you got the test boost though

[Anonymous No.10370260]

>>10369568
B A S E D

[Anonymous No.10370286]

>>10353903
>not gonna make it

[Anonymous No.10370312]

>>10356953
I've gone to a sushi buffet with a scale and eaten 5 lbs of sushi, in not sure if the vomiting later was food poisoning or my body just rejecting my lifestyle.

[Anonymous No.10370319]

>>10358479
Those are pretty good for rehydration if you sweat a lot.

[Anonymous No.10370322]

>>10358798
Kys

[Anonymous No.10370327]

>>10361825
Missing the onion

[Anonymous No.10370328]

>>10338525
>order take-out at an asian cuisine spot
>order sushi
>"sorry we're out of tuna, we can still make you imitation crab rolls"
How the fuck does an asian restaurant run out of tuna for sushi?? It's Thursday.
>had to order shitty wok food To-Go instead
It probably won't even be good by the time it gets here. I'm pissed.

[Anonymous No.10370341]

>>10365849
Expiration dates are the most conservative estimates possible, so that even in the event of them being ignored and left out in the hot sun, nobody gets sick and Sues

[Anonymous No.10370342]

>>10358471
same reason I come to /ck/ too

[Anonymous No.10370345]

>>10370328
Forgot to add, the excuse was "we only make so much for the day and it's gone now"
It's dinner time you retards, you should've been more than prepped. It's fucking sushi.

[Anonymous No.10370366]

hi!

[Anonymous No.10370403]

>>10370366
Hello! :v

[Anonymous No.10370430]

Everyday I have to ask for cokes and the limit is 2 per day. IT'S NOT FAIR SEEING MY BROTHER AND DAD MAKE FUN OF ME EVERYDAY AND I AM IN A COMFY POSITION SO I DON'T DO CRAP ABOUT IT.

[Anonymous No.10370541]

I consider bread with mustard a sandwich, and a good one at that.

[Anonymous No.10370793]

>>10338561
>post not found

[Anonymous No.10371063]

>>10338525
I dip pizza crusts in my cola

[Anonymous No.10371069]

>>10370430
Have you tried drinking more water, and coffee for caffeine? You don't need sugar water.

[Anonymous No.10371115]

>>10370328
>>10370345
It ended up being okay, but I'm still disappointed that it wasn't what I wanted.

This isn't just a problem with restaurants, local store aren't carrying basic food items I buy anymore. I'm starting to think this place is turning to crap very quickly. This is just convincing me even more that I need to move the fuck away from here.

[Anonymous No.10371117]

>>10338525
I crave McDonald's about 5 days a week but need to eat better

[Anonymous No.10371120]

I don't like onions.

[Anonymous No.10371126]

>>10371063
I've observed this in elementary children. Somewhat similar to peanuts in coke I'd assume.

[Anonymous No.10371213]

>>10358479
>>10360591
my niggas
pickle juice is delicious. either of you ever drink steak sauce?

[Anonymous No.10372306]

>>10371213
I have. Never really keep steak sauce, though.

[Anonymous No.10372521]

>>10344883
Who got the mcstuffin?

[Anonymous No.10372536]

>>10354921
Can u wipe ur own ass?

[Anonymous No.10372541]

>>10338678
burger king is objectively better than mcdonalds

[Anonymous No.10372542]

>>10341541
You scrub them with a damp kitchen towel first and put a condom over it.

[Anonymous No.10372543]

>>10371120
pleb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr0SMj0xeis

[Anonymous No.10372545]

>>10369644
>having relish on hand

[Anonymous No.10372550]

>>10344970
what the fuck is wrong with you, anon?

[Anonymous No.10372557]

For a month I've been counting calories, making sure to eat under 1500 a day. I've lost a lot of weight really easily and I'm happy about that.

For the past two days, though, I've been eating whatever I wanted, basically eating how I was before I started counting calories. I did the math and have eaten over 8,000 calories in under 48 hours. I had no idea my eating habits had gotten so badly out of control. Or I did have an idea but didn't want to think about it.

Anyway, I won't be doing that again for at least another month. I feel awful.

[Anonymous No.10372558]

>>10368780
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-lose-weight-eating-only-mcdonalds-2015-10?international=true&r=US&IR=T

[Anonymous No.10372565]

>>10368780
I think the benefit of losing weight will outweigh the little amount of harm you might do by consuming more salt and fat than you should.

Because, surprise, most people are already consuming more salt and fat than they should anyway.

[Anonymous No.10372566]

>>10372557
keep up the good work senpai

[Anonymous No.10372616]

Background info:
1: I'd consider myself a nice and patient person. I'm generally very agreeable and when I'm not, I'll always be looking for an acceptable compromise so that all parties can be happy. Not only do I know this to be true, I've had several people tell me the same thing, further confirming my beliefs.
2: the city I live in is generally very nice. Nobody really wants for anything, it's typically a very middle/Upper class suburb. None of my friends or acquaintances are poor in any sense of the term,in fact quite the opposite we're considerably well off.

This being said, many of my friends seem to have a propensity to do the whole "I'm just gonna grab a quick fry bro" routine. Recently they've increased the scope of their requests to include things like "lemme get a quick bite of your burger" to "lemme get a few sips of your milkshake".

I must reiterate my first two points: myself and others have considered me to be both agreeable and amicable to changes. And nobody I know is poor in any sense of the term. Yet somehow the people who I'm supposed to consider my closest friends think nothing of it when they take food from me that I paid for. In fact when I've called them out on their actions, indicating that free samples of my food would cease being provided immediately, a few friends responded remarkably angered. "dude it's just a fry its like 5 cents of the total cost of your meal" or "wow dude ur not even gonna remember a single bite, what if that fry dropped on the ground you'd throw it out anyways". It's gotten to the point in which these friends have convinced themselves that their behavior is acceptable, and that I'm the one with the problem.

[Anonymous No.10372628]

>>10372616
If a person you're not fucking tries to take some of your food, just say, "I'm good," and don't let them do it. If they do it anyway, just give them the whole thing and make them feel like an asshole.

[Anonymous No.10372679]

>>10372616
The them to get fucked and stab at them with a fork.

[Anonymous No.10372688]

>>10361818

sounds nice desu

[Anonymous No.10372776]

I used to eat 2-3000 calories a day while sitting in my car after work.

Then I'd drive home and have dinner, eating more than everyone else because I'd lie and say that I hadn't eaten yet. Then I'd stay up later than everyone else in the house and go stuff my face in the kitchen.

I should be so much fatter than I am lol

[Anonymous No.10372808]

I'm married to a woman that almost never cooks. When she does, she ends up crying and throwing a fit. But it's also a big deal and everyone has to taste what she made, giving praise and what she calls "emotional support" the whole time.

I cook literally every other meal and receive no thanks or acknowledgment for my effort.

[Anonymous No.10372863]

my italian father has adopted a healthy lifestyle recently and doesn't cook the good stuff he used to anymore. he also doesn't get drunk with me anymore. but he's healthy and happy.

still though i want some good food and cocktails with him

[Anonymous No.10372882]

I've jerked of to her, Rachel Ray, and Giada.

felt good man

[Anonymous No.10372891]

>>10338525
I absolutely hate beer and all drinks based on it.

[Anonymous No.10373440]

>>10355002
>one time when I was still living at my parents, I ratted out my stepsister for using the family dishwasher to wash her dildo and they kicked her out of the house
You're gay right?

[Anonymous No.10373454]

>>10373440
Dude she was probably fat
Thats disgusting

[Anonymous No.10373471]

>>10372566

[Anonymous No.10373476]

>>10373471
>>10372566
>>10372557

[Anonymous No.10373488]

>>10345053
I'll try this one day.

[Anonymous No.10374115]

I went vegetarian a month or two ago. What I miss the most is being able to walk a block to a fast food place and get something that tastes relatively alright for 0 efforts and little money. I didn't do it often, but when you're feeling depressed, shitty, and lazy it's an easy comfort.

[Anonymous No.10374194]

Ive been eating 3-4 slices of buttered toast as brunch every day for a week and a half

[Anonymous No.10374249]

>>10353509
how do people like this survive? i see people making 6 digits per year and can't be bothered to wash their own fucking clothes. i may make 20k a year but at least i can carry and wipe my own ass, christ

[Anonymous No.10374256]

>>10358798
I eat my steaks medium and eat my burgers well done. Medium burgers are disgusting.

[Anonymous No.10374265]

>>10358847
huh?

[Anonymous No.10374276]

>>10374115
>was depressed
>now vegetarian
adds up

[Anonymous No.10374280]

>>10374115
You realize that every fast food place has a vegetarian option right? Even just french fries are vegan. Most places have veggie wraps or something similar.

[Anonymous No.10374308]

>>10374280
fast food fries are meh to me

[Anonymous No.10375140]

i'm currently eating a sandwich filled with nothing but raw bacon
it tastes great desu

[Anonymous No.10375206]

>>10338678
t.amerifat

[Anonymous No.10375449]

>>10368343
I tried that, thank you, but now I sound like I have down syndrome. Maybe I should just learn to cook.

[Anonymous No.10375663]

>>10362617
5

[Anonymous No.10375690]

>>10338525
I tell people I don't eat much fast food, but I love pic related

[Anonymous No.10375699]

>>10338525
i was out of black beans so i let red beans soak in some weird steak sauce from a glass jar i found and it actually tasted okay

[Anonymous No.10375733]

>>10340213
It's not that weird. It's similar to a carpenter that let's his house deteriorate. Who wants to "work without pay" at home?

[Anonymous No.10375740]

I drink five and a half liters of beer a night

[Anonymous No.10375891]

>>10345085
Reminds me of a time
>be finger fucking my bosses pussy
>have to go make an order of food
>forget to wash hands because rushing
>made jokes with her about it while it was cooking
>felt bad
>realized a Nigger came to pick it up
>felt better

[Anonymous No.10375965]

>>10338686
You're a gay fish then.

[Anonymous No.10375978]

>>10338525
I'M SO SORRY I ATE 2 EASTER EGGS TODAY.

[Anonymous No.10375996]

I eat jars of mayo or cake frosting in one sitting on a weekly basis. I used to do it every few days but now I treat it like a reward.

[Anonymous No.10376013]

>>10365850
these literally can't be found anymore

[Anonymous No.10376383]

>>10349898
I fucking love eel sushi so much

[Anonymous No.10376392]

>>10376383
because it just tastes like sweet goopy sauce?

[Anonymous No.10377515]

>>10372557
What are you eating?

[Anonymous No.10377564]

>>10349527
How the fuck are you not puking up at the sight of them yet, anon?

I wouldn't be able to eat a single food at a set time every day for a week, yet alone a year.

I fucking love a good Carbonara, but I wouldn't eat that every day for 2 years...

[Anonymous No.10377731]

>>10338561
wtf was that?

[Anonymous No.10377751]

>>10358847
You did this to me several times. Hi "huh?" Anon

[Anonymous No.10378236]

Last week I bought a jar of vanilla frosting and ate it out of the tin with a spoon over the course of a few days. I was just really craving some mother fucking frosting.

[Anonymous No.10378412]

>>10361161
>he doesn't order enough for leftovers
With a 3 dollar delivery fee and my 2 dollar tip, order big, tip little, get your money's worth

[Anonymous No.10378421]

once i tipped a hooters waitress 1.35 in change and told her "if you ever worked at a strip club you'd be in danger, all i'd have to throw is coins." she laughed but the shame of tipping in coins never left me

[Anonymous No.10378425]

>>10372808
Why did you bother marrying her? Why are you so pathetic?

[Anonymous No.10378452]

>>10338525
I used limes instead of lemons.

[Anonymous No.10378467]

I use a keurig AND starbucks brand kcups

[Anonymous No.10378481]

>come back home for holidays
>finally some time to chill
>starcraft 20 year anniversary event stream
>laze around with a beer watching the stream
>mother is so insecure in her cooking abilities she calls me to the kitchen every 3-5 minutes
>"anon, can you season this?"
>"anon, can you cut this for me?"
>"anon, can you check if this has enough salt?"
>"anon, can I do X with this ingredient?"
>"anon, how do I make Y?"
>I start to get more and more annoyed with this
I know I should be happy to help and she's just deferring to me when it comes to cooking which is nice, but damn, I just want to chill a bit.

Now feel like a bad son.

[Anonymous No.10378582]

>>10378481
Your mom unironically has autism.

[Anonymous No.10378635]

>>10378421
>feeling bad for throwing change at a whore
wanted to throw her hundreds like a creep?

[Anonymous No.10378646]

>>10378481
your mother is incompetent, tell her to kill herself

[Anonymous No.10378663]

I sometimes like to feed on seeds.

[Anonymous No.10378694]

>>10378582
She works in HR, so I doubt that.

>>10378646
Hey man, she might not be the best cook, but she's my mother, so fuck off.

[Anonymous No.10378700]

>>10378694
your mother is an incompetent whore
my mother is a chef, and there are times when she'll make something for me and think it's good. I tell her not to make me that trash ever again and make me something else.

[Anonymous No.10378817]

>>10378700
>I tell her not to make me that trash ever again and make me something else.
Do you tell her to make you tendies?

[Anonymous No.10378821]

>>10378817
I did, and she fucked them up I told her never make them again. She bakes a mean fococcia though, and her meats are out of this world

[Anonymous No.10378835]

>>10378821
>never eating tendies again
I really wish I had a reaction image of a weeping neckbeard right now.

[Anonymous No.10378852]

>>10378835
I told her to never make them again. She usually drove and got them for me when I ask. Also I'm female, I don't have a neckbeard nor am I fat.

[Anonymous No.10378865]

>>10378852
>She usually drove and got [tendies] for me when I ask.
You don't have to be fat and have a beard on your neck to be a neckbeard.

[Anonymous No.10378879]

>>10378865
That's exactly what a neckbeard means.You can't just mold and reshape memes/stereotypes to fit your personal definition.

[Anonymous No.10378890]

>>10378879
>makes her mother drive out and buy tendies for her
>not a neckbeard
:)

[Anonymous No.10378896]

>>10378890
At least my mom can cook and isn't a retard with a dumbass son. lmao

[Anonymous No.10378908]

>>10378896
Went to Cambridge, am a doctor, lmao.

In all honesty this was originally just gentle prodding, but when you said you made your mother drive out and buy tendies for you I lost my composure somewhat.

[Anonymous No.10379537]

>>10372616
make a scene one time and it will never happen again

[Anonymous No.10379550]

>>10378481
>come back home for holidays
>mom wants to spend time with me
???

[Anonymous No.10380063]

>>10378908
What college?