[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 49 KB, 852x480, 15867539448528.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335126 No.10335126 [Reply] [Original]

"Oh anon thank you so much for cooking this"

What do you cook for your lady friends?

>> No.10335131

>>10335126
Cyanide

>> No.10335141

>>10335126
Don't bother cooking shit, just throw some fresh fruit and alcohol in a blender. They'll think it's fancy and they'll get drunk.

>> No.10335142
File: 91 KB, 1000x630, KNdtK6J.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335142

>>10335126
idk, I've only had boyfriends over. For family events, I've learned to pretend I'm cooking for toddlers so *those* women don't complain.

>> No.10335158

Shat out some Ramsay eggs for a dentist recently, she said they were the best she'd ever eaten.

>> No.10335164

>>10335142
I don't even know what this means.

Are even the homosexuals misogynists now?

>> No.10335168

>>10335126
I cook everyday for my wife of six years because I get home earlier than she does.

Usually some kind of broiled or baked chicken or pork chops during the week, a pasta and sausage night, do a cheap salad day. Wish I could cook fish more often but its expensive. Also chicken fajitas, sometimes carnitas or beef instead. Chili. Tend to keep it easy and quick.

Eggplant parm when I have extra time to do all that nonsense work.

>> No.10335171

>>10335168

cuck

>> No.10335175

>>10335126
yeah right, this roastie has taken miles of dick, no way I'm wasting my time on her

>> No.10335178
File: 261 KB, 527x527, 1521645112822.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335178

>>10335171

>> No.10335181

>>10335168
>>10335171

also you realize you're literally placing your free time above hers

just because your shift ends earlier doesn't mean you didn't have to fucking work just like she did

so you not only had to wake up earlier but then after work have to come home and slave over a hot stove

and what exactly does she do to equal out this relationship?

>> No.10335184
File: 16 KB, 400x400, 5E46573B562448AAB454CEFF33B7EAB4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335184

>>10335171
>>10335181

>> No.10335195

>>10335181
Jesus Christ, maybe he enjoys cooking. Or maybe she does the cleaning.

>> No.10335197

>>10335181
You're implying that I have to wake up earlier than her. She's a teacher and she gets up at 5AM and I work from home a third of the week.

Its not skin off my back to do some cooking.

Also I'm a better cook as it is so I don't mind making my mind.

Also you it is immature if you think that every relationship is an equal give and take 100% of the time.

>> No.10335201
File: 93 KB, 500x667, DY3DGAZ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335201

>cook some fine food bitches should love
>They don't like it
>Cook the same thing the same way for a guy
>Gets a boner for it being so good
>Half ass effort for some bitch
>Gets mad at me for being a half assed cheap cunt
>Do the same for a guy
>He ain't complaining but he sure is hungry
Women just want wine and expensive shit they can talk about and show off instead of actually appreciating and eating it.
Men just want to eat like a sane person

>> No.10335205

>>10335201
maybe stop dating horrible women

>> No.10335206

>>10335195

he specifically justified his cuckholding being that he "happens to get home from his 8 hour day before she does"

not that he LOVES COOKING

>> No.10335211

>>10335205
Bitches should appreciate a man that can cook let alone cook whatever the fuck they ask for

Tomboys are rare so if I find one I'm gonna keep em. Tomboys are men brains in women bodies which means my food should give her the biggest boner she's ever had

>> No.10335212

>>10335206
>>10335206

>>10335197

>> No.10335214

>>10335206
He never said he didn't. Nor did he mention how the chores are shared.

Angry /pol/ and /r9k/fags please go.

>> No.10335220

>>10335197

>literally 4 lines of soyboy apologetic male privilege guilt

holy shit you sound like boogie2988 after his divorce

cant wait for u to tell us all how the woman deserves 50% (Even tho she isnt required to provide 50% during the time within the relationship)

>> No.10335226

Something light so she isn't farting and shitting when I'm railing her later.

>> No.10335228

>>10335164
>Are even the homosexuals misogynists now?
>now
Lmao@urlife

>> No.10335230

>>10335212
>>10335214

all that shit was after the fact when his male guilt kicked in

HE STATED AND I QUOTE

"I cook everyday for my wife of six years because I get home earlier than she does."

not one fucking word of I LOVE TO COOK

he QUALIFIED the reason he is the one in the relationship who COOKS EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR SIX YEARS is simply "i get home before her"

he didnt say "i work at home" he said "gets home earlier"

>> No.10335231

>>10335230
Why are angry /pol/ and /r9k/fags still here?

>> No.10335235
File: 53 KB, 1018x626, 1450051382950.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335235

>>10335220

>> No.10335240

>>10335197
>Also you it is immature if you think that every relationship is an equal give and take 100% of the time.

you literally just said the full fucking six years of your life YOU are the one doing ALL the cooking

pretty sure that's fucking exactly 100%

theres a word for sluts who have men who do something for them every day without asking and nothing additional from them given in return (or even asked for or assumed to be given)

>> No.10335249

>>10335228
>>10335220
>>10335206
>>10335181
Pathetic faggot. I cook for my girlfriend because I am the protector and I am the provider. I keep her alive because one day she will bear and take care of my children. Cooking is a valuable skill and I get to practice it every day. Enjoy your oven baked tendies and instant noodles.

>> No.10335254

Chicken parm or carbonara has worked on every single date thusly.

>> No.10335255

>>10335249
>he doesn't even have kids yet
it keeps getting better

>> No.10335256

>lady friends
>friends
Implying an alpha like me gets put in the friendzone.

>> No.10335262
File: 37 KB, 546x470, 1461882643167.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335262

>>10335255
>>10335240

>> No.10335268

>>10335164
40% chocolate is too bitter for them.

>> No.10335270

>>10335249

>girlfriend

so now not your wife?

or did you initially refer to your girlfriend of 6 years because YOU think of her more of the relationship than she does

jesus fucking christ is this one of those relationship comedies where the cucked friend has no idea hes a cuck and his male friends keep trying to tell him

>> No.10335273
File: 71 KB, 644x960, chickenparmigiana mi madonna.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335273

>>10335126
Make all kinds of shit for my GF when we don't go out to eat

Made this valentines day (well, the sunday before). Was a beautiful meal. Afterwards I got super high and we laid down to watch The Babadook. When the movie ended I was ready to pass out and go to sleep all full and stoned, but she had other plans. She started going down stairs, and I was thinking "No! Noooo! I just want to sleep" then she started her meeting with the Bishop and his Clergymen and I thought "#MeToo" and busted up laughing mid BJ. She got so upset that she went outside for a smoke, came back in crying, grabbed her stuff and left lol.

>> No.10335278
File: 31 KB, 485x443, 1507557442763.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335278

>>10335270
It's two different couples.

>> No.10335284

>>10335171
>>10335181
>>10335206
>>10335220

"Nice guy," 100% guaranteed. Desperate for any kind of love or affection but your repulsive personality will always drive 'em away. Then you try to make yourself feel better by dumping on any woman that doesn't fit your anime waifu ideal of a subservient blowjob machine.

>> No.10335291

>>10335164
Why do you think they're homosexuals?

>> No.10335294

>>10335249
>one day she will bear and take care of Chad's children
ftfy

>> No.10335295
File: 201 KB, 1000x800, 1451362467078.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335295

>>10335270
>when he think's he's won the intellectual battle but he can't keep all the comments straight when two different people are responding to him.

>> No.10335301

Mix alfredo pasta with frenchs honey mustard, blended walnuts philadelphia cream cheese couple processed chese slices and some croutons, a sprinkle of dried cranberries, generous portion of shrimp, garlic powder and cumin, top it with sandwich sliced raw onion and parm

>> No.10335307

>>10335284

>wanting a whore that i have to cook for when i can just fap to the new batch of cunny always coming into celebrity rotation, any time of day as many times of day as i please

>> No.10335318

>>10335307
>Being a virgin.

>> No.10335319

>>10335270
>>10335255
I'm a different poster. Keep expanding that soyboy rage.

>> No.10335321

>>10335307
Holy shit, lol. That's your argument? That's top tier pathetic.

>> No.10335346
File: 121 KB, 960x960, 1449545111335.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335346

>>10335319

>> No.10335361

>>10335318
>>10335321

>resorting to ad hominems

the moment you realize they're seething

>> No.10335370

>>10335249
>Implying
You would be surprised how many gays despise women. Ive been with my wife a decade, 4 years of it married. When you stop chasing women and step back you start to see some shit thats hidden by the lust blinders straight men have.

>> No.10335373
File: 67 KB, 500x611, 1450492125691.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335373

>>10335361
>implying I'm even mad at all at some dumb /r9k/ 16 year old.

>> No.10335374

>>10335164
just keep out of my gay bars on your "girls night out" and you're okay with me

>> No.10335377

>>10335201
maybe stop fucking men you complete and utter degenerate

>> No.10335392

>>10335377
Where do you think we are?

>> No.10335399

>>10335168
Do you cook for your wife’s bull too?

>> No.10335406

>>10335392
very well, carry on

>> No.10335415

>>10335273
What a terrible story. Please neck yourself.

>> No.10335418
File: 88 KB, 600x998, 1461051855864.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335418

>>10335399

>> No.10335424
File: 30 KB, 600x453, 1507944416184.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335424

>>10335374
>When the bachelorette party shows up

>> No.10335425

>>10335415
Sometimes you just wanna go to bed.

>> No.10335427

>>10335418
What a fag.

>> No.10335428

>>10335374
why did you decide to be a gay, anon?

>> No.10335430
File: 144 KB, 728x546, 1462590234899.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335430

>>10335427

>> No.10335433
File: 71 KB, 1200x630, pessoas-que-ficam-vermelhas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335433

>>10335418

>> No.10335442

>>10335425
You should have at least added a donkey punch to that story.

>> No.10335443
File: 71 KB, 924x380, 1216151231.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335443

>>10335418
>"good" "guys"
Why are they never self conscious?

>> No.10335452

>>10335126
Women are trash. I only cook for traps and trannies.

>> No.10335467
File: 251 KB, 492x589, 1521223408960.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335467

>>10335452
>not only cooking for your Dad
Fucking fag neck yourself soyo

>> No.10335485

>>10335442
She's the type of gal who'd be into that but I'm not that type of guy

>> No.10335486

>>10335418
t. Nice guy thats nice until he realizes hes in the friend zone

>> No.10335507

Cooking for women huh, that' a laugh. I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together.

I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you." All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>> No.10335513

>>10335168
>Wish I could cook fish more often but its expensive

Pollacks are good for more than just toilet cleaning. Frozen pollack is cheap and wild caught. Just don't fall for the fresh(-ly thawed) meme and you can have decent fish for cheap.

>> No.10335514

>>10335507
That does not sound like a good marriage.

>> No.10335526

>>10335514
Idk man sounds like a pretty common solution. Ive seen like 30 anons say it worked for them

>> No.10335528

>>10335507
Interesting, thanks for giving some personal insight on the matter

>> No.10335530

>>10335507

FUCK YES BRO, i hope this isnt pasta

good on you, i seriously want to shake your hand firmly and buy you a beer

>> No.10335539

>>10335467
>can’t get a qt3.14 trap gf

>> No.10335578

I cook whatever we're having for dinner that night

unless it's her night to cook

sometimes we cook together

>> No.10335596
File: 2.08 MB, 5312x2988, 1111171706_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335596

>>10335126

Last thing I cooked for my GF was potato chowder (made with pureed roasted rudabaga and parsnip) and seared marinated king oyster mushroom medallions with a side of buttered pasta

>> No.10335604

>>10335596

that dish looks faggy af

>> No.10335607

>>10335235
This picture kek. I hope the kid is about to start popping off some moves

>> No.10335608

>>10335596
Looks like a nice meal desu

>> No.10335620
File: 36 KB, 300x250, 4588966c21a39f927965d0078720fe50.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335620

>>10335596
faget

first time I bring her over for dinner: pan fried ny strip steak on my cast iron, finished with rosemary and butter. establish dominance.
second time she comes over, usually 3rd or 4th date: chicken green curry from scratch with jasmine rice.
I have never not gotten laid on green curry night.

>> No.10335627

there is way too much /r9k/ and /pol/ shit happening in this thread, cant you fags stay in your containment boards?

>> No.10335633

>>10335424
kek

>>10335428
I decided after careful consideration and a lot of R&D.

>> No.10335643

>>10335507
stale post

>> No.10335660

>>10335514
>>10335528
>>10335530
Newfags

>> No.10335674

>>10335607
Welcome to 4chan.

>> No.10335676

>>10335374
Fuck your "secret club" faggot.

>> No.10335699

>>10335627
Fuck off roastie. We’re here, we’re queer, get use to it.

>> No.10335719

>>10335126
Cheeseboards and complex salads are a bullseye every time. My girlfriend eats whatever so I just experiment and she tells me if she likes it or not. Our tastes are similar.

>> No.10335778
File: 9 KB, 300x168, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335778

>>10335424
>When the guy you were dancing with turns out to be a bi-slut and leaves with them

>> No.10335790

>>10335719
Do you watch while your gf fucks black dudes?

>> No.10335854

>Bechamel mac and cheese with pinot for littles
>Steak Poivre for thots and basic bitches (its the alcohol fireball)
>Coconut Curry for vegetarians and vegans
>Pork belly ramen for weebs, pork cutlet bowl for full fujoshi. Marinated egg is the keystone
>Pulled pork with my homemade sauce and rub for everyone else
Being told my cooking is good feels 1000x better than anything they could do to my dick.

>> No.10335873

i don't have any lady friends
actually i don't have any friends

>> No.10335888

>>10335854
You need to cook for people with better dick skills.

>> No.10335897
File: 233 KB, 653x578, 7C5DEDBE-8422-4357-A49E-D184B1CD4395.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335897

>>10335126
>lady friends

>> No.10335899

>>10335790
do you cry at night?

>> No.10335920
File: 1.41 MB, 3264x1836, 34534534.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335920

>>10335126
Last thing I made her was a reuben. Been eating the leftovers for the last 3 days, glad she hasn't been around.

>> No.10335921 [DELETED] 

>>10335888
Ill cook for anyone that stops over. Sex was never actually part of it, it just leads there sometimes. Shit I dont even need to know anything about you past dietary restrictions, come have some of this chicken Im baking with a rub I brought up from San Antonio, I probably made extra

>> No.10335934

>>10335899
Found the cuck!

>> No.10335947

>>10335888
I just like cooking man, sex isnt even a part of it u less it ends up going that way. Though I did notice men give better head than women after a couple years

>> No.10335956

>>10335947
Based.

>> No.10335965

>>10335947
This is true.

>> No.10335967

>>10335934
You definitely do.

>> No.10335978

>>10335947
uh, that's gay my friend

>> No.10335989
File: 39 KB, 480x480, DDF3863D-3743-463C-91B3-639B4B3DF60A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10335989

>>10335899

>> No.10336113

Making her a portion of spaghetti and sleepy sauce.

>> No.10336131

>>10335965
>>10335956
To this day I dont understand the mechanics in someones mind that go from "Wow, this tastes great" to "Damn, I could really go for some dick." I just wanted to cook good food and share it with friend, sometimes it turned into casual, disappointing sex.

>>10335978
Is it really gay to get your dick sucked?

>> No.10336162

>>10336131
>Is it really gay to get your dick sucked?
Only if it's a guy or a tranny doing the sucking.

>> No.10336254

>>10336162
idk man, stubble tickles in some pretty great ways

>> No.10336256

>>10336254
I agree, but it's still gay.

>> No.10336481

>>10335526
>Ive seen like 30 anons say it worked for them
Subtle kek.

>> No.10336506

>>10335126
Anything with a fuck ton of carbohydrates. Women are basically the tendies gender

>> No.10336527

>>10335854
What are littles

>> No.10336533

Last one was: Thick cut pork chops with apricot perverses on top, side of redskin mash and asparagus. Girls are easy to impress

>> No.10336548

>>10336527
Girls who want their bf to also be a father figure. Its a fetishist relationship built entirely on daddy issues

>> No.10336606

>>10336162
Getting your dick sucked by a tranny or trap is not gay

>> No.10336633
File: 94 KB, 1274x712, 1519145694189.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10336633

>>10335507
stale pasta

>> No.10336637

>>10335374
this/thread

>> No.10336641

>>10335418
lmao what a soyboi

>> No.10336645

>>10335126
always go for really simple dishes.
people enjoy what they know and you can't fuck it up.
if you really must serve your experiments as a fancy side dish.

>> No.10336650

>>10336606
gay or not. it is pure faggotry.

>> No.10336651

>>10335126
Nothing

>> No.10336673

>>10335230
o7 salute my redpilled bro ! We'll win the war

>> No.10336791

>>10335596
awful plating, weird sides. Why serve pasta instead of bread?

>> No.10336819

>>10335620
how do you keep from shitting mid sex

>> No.10336823

>>10336819
Why would you want to AVOID shitting mid-sex?

>> No.10336891

>>10335164
there are a lot of women on ck mate

>> No.10336925

>>10335507
Im like 90% sure I've heard this story before

>> No.10337038

I get fast food and disguise it as my own cooking.

>> No.10337049

>>10335947
I mean that would make sense they have one so they know what to do with it to optimize

>> No.10337055

>>10336891
>ck
calvin klein?

>> No.10337166
File: 349 KB, 350x233, 1484421220183.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10337166

>>10337055

>> No.10337249

>>10335201
When I had a girl I literally boiled some brown rice, and scrambled eggs, and she fucking loved it. I'm not a skilled cook either. I think she was really infatuated with me.

>> No.10337262

>>10335235
This makes me really sad. I wonder if he shat himself or something.

>> No.10337285

>>10337166
>its another "r/thedonald thinks he belongs here" episode

>> No.10337312
File: 34 KB, 500x375, 1520722714222.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10337312

>>10335920
I legit thought i was looking at vomit on pavement for a second.

>> No.10337863

>>10335126
Grilled Cheese or Peanut Butter and Jelly

>> No.10338121
File: 3.39 MB, 5312x2988, 1123171618a_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338121

>>10335620
She's vegan so I made vegan food, that's why no meat

>>10336791
She said she liked pasta more so I made pasta

Another time I made some lamb style seitan roast for thanksgiving, pic related

>> No.10338128

>>10338121
Bet she'd eat a big black dick though, whiteboi.

>> No.10338131
File: 415 KB, 1593x896, 1123171823d_HDR-2124x1195-1593x896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338131

>>10338121
After roasting

>> No.10338134
File: 2.52 MB, 5312x2988, 1123171848_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338134

>>10338131

In a gyro with some tzatziki made with strained homemade soy yogurt

>> No.10338140
File: 2.14 MB, 5312x2988, 1120171707b_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338140

>>10338134

I also made a batch with soy curls and some thicker tzatziki, but she didn't like it as much

>> No.10338144

>>10338128

The only person in this thread more certainly white than me is you

>> No.10338158

>>10338140
Absolutely disgusting. Get your queer shit off this board and back to >>/r/cuckold/ where you belong

>> No.10338164

>>10335171
>>10335181

you realize you are on the "food and cooking" board right? maybe people here enjoy cooking food. it is a thing.

>> No.10338166
File: 1.57 MB, 4160x2340, 20160618_202650_HDR-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338166

>>10338158

K

Pic is some deep fried popcorn cauliflower with sweet and sour sauce

>> No.10338168
File: 109 KB, 700x441, Mcchicken.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338168

>>10338164
>t.roastie

>> No.10338170
File: 23 KB, 564x662, IMG_5438.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338170

>>10338166

>> No.10338176

>>10338164

Right? I just spent an hour with my gf making dinner: slicing, salting, and squeezing cabbage and other veggies for cole slaw, making refried beans for burritos, and drinking mimosas at night because they taste good. It was fun and now I'm full, leave it to r/incel to spill out into /ck/ and try to edgelord their way into relevance.

>> No.10338178
File: 2.84 MB, 5312x2988, 0716171822f_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338178

>>10338170

Miso seasoned jackfruit ceviche with corn tortilla chips?

>> No.10338184

>>10338178
i'm so very sorry you have been brainwashed by crazies.

>> No.10338188
File: 2.48 MB, 4160x2340, 20161102_183610.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338188

>>10338184

Brainwashed into liking roasted cauliflower and asparagus?

>> No.10338189

>>10338176
>because they taste good
That's what your gf says about giving her bull blowjobs while you're cooking.

>> No.10338194
File: 2.22 MB, 5312x2988, 0212171835c_HDR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338194

>>10338188

She does cook for me too. Pic related,she mademe bean chili and cornbread and breaded tomatillo

>> No.10338197
File: 350 KB, 1680x1050, broken_record-wide.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338197

>>10338189

>> No.10338203

>>10338188
This anon will post pics of his scrumptious creations to help every cuckold cater to the needs of his wife and her extra-marital lover. Never again will you disappoint the team!

>> No.10338204

>>10338194
jesus christ. who made you hate food?

>> No.10338212
File: 105 KB, 603x767, IMG_4940.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338212

>>10338197

>> No.10338213
File: 28 KB, 500x375, so youve ruined your life.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338213

>>10338140

>soy yogurt
>soy curls
>hair sticking out of the tatziki

>> No.10338231

>>10338194
>>10338178
>>10338121
>>10338166
>>10338140
>>10338134
>>10338131
>>>/trash/

>> No.10338234

I don’t cook, that job is for women only.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>> No.10338251

No gf but,
>Cook rice with parsley and bacon, with churrasco with chimichurri and steamed broccoli for sister since her husband and kids visited me
>I start eating
>They take their smartphones, take a picture and post on some social media
>Okay...
>Serve dessert, breadfruit flan
>Yet again, they pull their phones out and repeat the same uneducated filth on my table

Just eat you dumb whore. There's nothing that irritate me than the click clickly click of a phone while enjoying a meal.

>> No.10338253

>>10338234
based wife beating copypasta

>> No.10338291

>>10338140
get a load of this fucking faggot

>> No.10338316

>>10335181
My last gf was just dog shit at cooking and wouldn't take any form of advice in the kitchen. I love cooking so i did it. It's completely unrelated to me breaking up with her later on i promise.

>> No.10338319

>>10335126
Cum cooking for tinder dates as a fetish is going to harm the dating scene more than bugchasing did for gay shit

>> No.10338604

used to have a female house mate. if I cooked and had extra I would offer her some. I stopped after the third time she didn't say thank you and she wouldn't she started eating before I said grace. I just ate twice the amount. fuck that shit

>> No.10338648

>>10336606
It really is, dude.

>> No.10338662

>>10338648
Why? Just because they have a dick doesn't mean you have to touch or even see it.

>> No.10338681

>>10338662
>it's not gay if you don't touch their dick
Why is it so necessary for it not to be gay? Just go with it.

>> No.10338688

>>10338681
That's offensive. Transexuality is all about the absolute importance of categorization.

>> No.10338690

>>10338688
I don't get it, but a guy sucking your dick is gay.

Try it, it's not bad.

>> No.10338693

>>10335273
Why would she leave? That's just banter

>> No.10338713
File: 1.92 MB, 4032x3024, 92D80208-46EA-49F8-83B6-B894CF1010E2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10338713

My girlfriend cannot cook for shit, pretty good baker though.

Luckily for me she likes to do all the cleaning and I like to cook, so I cook every night, unless we go out.
I make her all kinds of dishes. Usually pasta or something quick in the week unless I finish work early and can put a bit more time into it.

Pic related was last meal I made us. Found some quince in a grocery store so started fucking about making quince and red wine reduction.

>> No.10338721

>>10338713
thanks for the 4k photo of a diced turd.

>> No.10338726

>>10338721
Yeah, wasn’t aesthetic. Tasted good though

>> No.10338734

>>10338251
It’s a compliment gramps, relax

>> No.10338736

>>10338734
If she compliments my dick I'm kicking her out.

>> No.10338770

>>10335596
WHERE DA MEAT AT SOYBOI!?!?!?!

>> No.10338815

>>10338690
>Traps are guys
I have seen enough anime to know this is a lie

>> No.10338823

>>10338815
A trap sucking your dick is gay.

Try it, it's not bad.

>> No.10338830

>>10338823
>Gay is not bad
Yes it is, that is why traps exist in the first place

>> No.10338855

>>10335507
pasta and it aint cabonara

>> No.10338954

>>10335197
>6 years married
>no kids
Has the soy made you not want kids, or unable to have them?

>> No.10338957

>>10335620
Isee you have been to Guam.

>> No.10339191

>>10335164
maybe you are the problem?

>> No.10339198

>>10336891
>there are a lot of women in a website where you cant take a picture of your tits and get a thousand likes
there are some very ugly and fat women here

>> No.10339204

>>10335168
my dad used to cook at home while my mom couldnt boil water
if im ever married (which will probably never happen) im the one coocking, fuck letting someone else decide what im eating every nght, fuck settlung for thei inferior food or taste

>> No.10339212

>>10338176
Ignore the cuckposters, they are so lonely and can only get off on the idea of a big black man fucking their imaginary GF because thats the closest theyll ever get to getting laid.

>> No.10339328

>>10338234
Was waiting for this.

>> No.10339394

a grenade

>> No.10340035

>>10338830
That's gay, too.

>> No.10340198

>>10335126
I just put a warm towel on my dick and yell "i heated up the dinner, come choke on it"

>> No.10340303

>>10335126
I'm dating 2 girls right now. This is not me bragging, truthfully I'm so far in the closet, at my age it's just sad. I have something of a reputation, but if I come out of would likely ruin my life.

Generally speaking white wine reductions, a touch of butter, heavy cream and a strong herb over some noodles and some steamed vegitables impress the hell out of people despite being absurdly simple.

Fried pork chops and Mac n cheese are probably the easiest and most straightforward think I can make that is usually a crowd pleaser.

>> No.10340314

>>10340303
Hands aren't girls unless you are a girl.

>> No.10341472

>>10340303

you sound insufferable

>> No.10341780

Italian

Hoes always love Italian

>> No.10342095

>>10337285
>>>/pol/ is that way kid. Take your cancerous shitposting with you, you fucking racemixer

>> No.10342097

I cook them up some stiff weiner

>> No.10342099
File: 89 KB, 584x501, 0747A1DF-E77A-46E8-956A-561DF6732374.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10342099

>>10338231
>a shitposter who contributes nothing to the thread thinks his opinion matters

>> No.10342103

>>10342097
filtered

>> No.10342113
File: 71 KB, 657x527, America.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10342113

I want a girlfriend

>> No.10342668
File: 70 KB, 996x631, 1512705349673.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10342668

>>10335126
>lady friends
hahah y-you t-too.. !

>> No.10342678

>>10335197
>gets up at 5AM
pathetic. I get up at 1:15AM

>> No.10342709

>>10335126
Shrimp scampi.

>> No.10342749

>>10338954
The world is overpopulated, bro. We have to leave procreation to the coloreds or our growth will be unsustainable.

>> No.10343580

Cantonese food, they love it every time.

>> No.10343584

>>10335201
Are those glasses half full or half emty?

>> No.10345317

charcuterie board

Only problem is that you smell like ass after eating it. Fermented meats and cheese don't make for good breath.

>> No.10345400

>>10335226
Legit this to an extent. My gf can cook but she always cooks super heavy food since that what her family always made. We eat it and then get tired and I don’t get to smash. When I cook it’s usually light so nobody has to take a fat shit while I’m trying to get it in

>> No.10345415

>>10342749
it's actually because of the niggers that we're overpopulated.
If you'd nuke Africa and India (Israel too), the planet would be fine. Homeostasis is a thing, it's not the West's fault that subs can't into contraception

>> No.10345443
File: 1.93 MB, 460x259, intenseConcentration.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10345443

>>10335141
What kind of fruit?

>> No.10345478

>>10335181
and these /pol/ types wonder how we all know they're neckbeards

>> No.10345808
File: 183 KB, 900x782, 1505265590162.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10345808

>>10335211
/thread

>> No.10346402

>>10335526
Nice

>> No.10346472
File: 66 KB, 437x437, 1517796921735.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10346472

>>10335201
post moar cats eating spaghetti

>> No.10346519

>>10345808

I don't think I've ever actually read all that before now. Made me cry a little.

>> No.10346530

>>10335273
This made me laugh really hard. Fantastic imagery.

>> No.10347756

>>10335126
A huge pot of black bean stew, bitch will even get frozen leftovers
That is if the fucking unappreciative cunt complents the food and looks me in the eye went I cum

>> No.10347815

>>10342099
>t.butt-blasted nu-male

>> No.10347994
File: 1.98 MB, 300x176, 3cf17c8e3650a6f330bdf6621e4f524e2d29e2f5618f213bc003cb57fb6ea695.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10347994

>>10335235
That kid is probably a mothafuckin', cop killin' gangster with a dick that moves like Johnny Sins, a voice like bacon frying in butter, and dance moves that could reassemble MJ's molecules into living matter.
>>10335164
Dude, fags have hated women for the longest time. I mean... they do steal a LOT of men after all.

>> No.10349310

>>10335374
>unironically being gay
neck yourself sodomite

>> No.10349314

>>10335507
I'm surprised it took this long for someone to post this

>> No.10349320

>>10336819
this. why the fuck do people even do this shit? like
>hey let's get Mexican food to be the gassiest possible so we can shit and fart all over each other during coitus

>> No.10349327

>>10340303
I'd let you suck me off anon, your secret is safe with me

>> No.10349336

>>10349327
huh?

>> No.10349352
File: 593 KB, 597x605, Screenshot (8).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10349352

>>10349336
huh? u little faggot say huh again

>> No.10349447

>>10335126
depends on their race

>> No.10349462

>>10335168

You do this because you get home earlier, does she ever cook?

>> No.10349477
File: 28 KB, 480x480, 1517974336852.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10349477

>>10335249

>>10335249


Your supposed to provide the food, not prepare it. How can someone be so deep in the male stereotype of protect and provide, but then cuck themselves into cooking

>> No.10349487
File: 47 KB, 447x589, 1521520259626.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10349487

I would never be in a situation where this question needs an answer, so I'll probably just serve my brains on the wall to be quite honest with you desu ne baka senpai please end my life

>> No.10349528

Katsu-don.

Bitches love Katsu-don.

>> No.10349537

>>10345808
the size of that forehead under the hair is troublesome

>> No.10349599
File: 8 KB, 225x225, download (7).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10349599

>>10349477

>> No.10349614

>>10335126
She looks like a cunt

>> No.10349619

i never feed women during dates, because later we are going to buttfuck. i guarantee it.

>> No.10349630

nothing, they can support themselves.

>> No.10349632

>>10349619
Nothing like sticking it in her ass and removing a piece of tomato skin from the dick-head after.

>> No.10349634
File: 3 KB, 125x118, 1494663117949.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10349634

Boudin aux pommes.
>>10335778
>not even actually bi, just pretending to get the bachelorettes like a basic party lesbian.

>> No.10350627

>>10335126
Virgin
>>10335131
Virgin
>>10335142
Gayboy
>>10335141
This guy gets it

>> No.10350628

> meatballs

>> No.10350770

>>10335699
No you're queer, the rest of us are normal.

>> No.10350781

>>10337055
Haha this is some meta as fuck bait, it simply can't be real. Well done

>> No.10350938

>>10335235
Did he shoot up the disco afterwards?

>> No.10352107

>>10335164
>hate fags
>hate women
>stop hating fags that hate women instinctively
I just choose the lesser of two evils.

>> No.10352155

>>10335249
>I am the beta provider
Yes, that's what we are trying to tell you, you're a cuck.

>> No.10352158

>>10335126
Oysters

>> No.10352176

>>10335418
I'm a man and I cringed really hard. I can't help but imagine a flapjack roastie have a heart attack from so much laughter after reading that shit.

>> No.10352224

>>10335240
This is some serious autism.
Please consider /ck/ is a cooking enthusiasts board, and that there's more than 1 task in a married relationship.

>> No.10352248

>>10335633
>R&D
Rumps and dicks?

>> No.10353161

>>10345808
I cried reading this, but didn't bat an eye while someone posted a webm or someone smashing a guys head with a slegdehammer and the victim engaging in a decerebrate pose that implied fatal brain damage.

What is exactly wrong with me?

>> No.10354558

>>10335126
made some lemon/garlic/butter/white wine sause with vennel spaghetti for a group of ex roommate girls. They liked it. I highly recommend brining (preserving) lemons. Perfect for summery dishes to use instead of salt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFPDxU2SJww

>> No.10354575

>>10335126
on the first date I had with my wife, I made crepes stuffed with chicken and asparagus with a lemon cream sauce.

>> No.10354589

>>10353161
nonwhites aren't fully human, so its only natural seeing these things didn't elicit an empathetic response.

>> No.10354592

>>10335230
Bet your grouchy cause mommy wont make you food any more and you're hungry

>> No.10356441
File: 117 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefrault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10356441

>>10335126
What's the point of cooking if you have one of these in your city?

>> No.10356507

>>10354575
Did you fuck her on the first date too?

>> No.10356851

>cook for gf
>she tells me that I suck at cooking
>doesn't let me cook anymore
>does all of the cooking now

my feelings were hurt but her doing all of the work is sort of nice as well

>> No.10356894

>>10335126
Tika masala
Easy as piss to make, yet still somehow impresses everybody. It is appropriate for even the most plebeian of palates, yet "exotic" (despite being more british than indian food).
Works every time.

>> No.10357998

>>10335978
Not gay, balls aren't touching.

>> No.10358107
File: 782 KB, 2240x1344, Katsu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10358107

>>10335126

I have good luck with chicken katsu and homemade pickles.

>> No.10358114

>>10335235
dat qt with her arms folded

>> No.10358129
File: 7 KB, 104x94, Screen Shot 2018-03-27 at 8.47.38 PM.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10358129

>>10335126
Am I the only one who sees the benis?

>> No.10358329

>>10358114
Literally junior high kids, you sicko

>> No.10358428

>>10358129
that's her hand

>> No.10359065

>>10335181
>voted for trump
>isn't a virgin
>only had 3-5 sexual experiences that were extremely awkward
>27-35
>MGTOW
>Previous mentioned pathetic encounters with women were years ago and she was 15 drinks in

kys faggot


>also, wears polos with horizontal stripes

>> No.10359096

>>10358129
you are turning gay. better jump off a very tall building.

>> No.10359097

Well I've only cooked for three women in my whole life I'm currently 30 years old

The first woman I cook for was a girlfriend she was not too picky with her food so I just cooked her chicken fajitas with onion pepper and some spices

The second girl was some friend of mine I met online and circumstances had it that she moved to the same City as me so we met up and I cooked her salmon with new potatoes and sweetcorn

The third woman I cook for was just my neighbour and I gave her steak medium rate of course and some nice cut chips with an egg

>> No.10359103

>>10335171
>>10335181
>>10335206
>>10335230
>>10335270
>>10335399
>t. Will never be loved

>> No.10359312

>>10359103
>t. hambeast

>> No.10360955
File: 26 KB, 500x500, a11a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10360955

>>10349336
>huh