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You have to cook something for himWhat you do?
>>10330630I mash him a raw potato and serve it with salt. My specialty.
>>10330630I would cook him a ribeye, marinated with herb butter, caramelized onions, sauteed mushrooms, potatoes with butter, grilled stuffed Anaheim peppers and Ice cold quality ale. I would accept his criticisms but if he was a dick about it I would tell him he can shove it up his puckered ass and go fuck himself to death in the freezer.
>>10330630I cook him some refried beans made with lots of bacon grease,lots, and some mexican chorizo with eggs and drizzle lots of butter on top, served with heavily buttered tortillas. Yes chef!
Bust out the ramen cup
>>10330630Cook him up some Chef Boyardee ravioli. Nobody can hate some ravioli
You dumbasses. You cook an omelet. That's how he judges his chefs.
>>10330630Rat poison but covered in olive oil so he loves it
My slow cooker corned beef dinner. So fucking good. Impossible to mess up
Beef Wellington but I would fuck up the pastry
>>10330630toast with butter. see if he remembers
wild escargot from my yard
something insanely complicated and with a lot of steps that i suck atfree master class, you’re an idiot if you think you can impress this guy so why not learn something
Honey mustard alfredo topped with blended walnuts and cream cheese with a little sprinkle of dried cranberries and a dash of meme garlic powder and cumin along with a generous portion of shrimp and then i do a little meme drizzle on a plate with green pesto paste before serving on it
>>10331043He calls you a pretentious donkey and tells you to fuck off
>>10331043He thinks you're the most avant-garde chef the world has ever seen and offers you a sous job
> be me> head chef> slow night> gordon ramsay walks in> select our finest breed of hostess and seat him in the best spot available> get his drink situated> "i'm ready to order"> ohshitnigger.jpg> he orders something rather simple> he says "i want your cooks to experiment a bit, i want something I've never had before"> challenge accepted you english cunt> i know how ramsay likes his steaks, i make him a great one> quickly marinade a flat iron steak with garlic and the piss from his hostess> slap that fucker on a pan> chef ramsay loves rare steaks> burn it to be sure it's cooked> cum on the steak as a special ingredient> i serve chef ramsay his food> im stark naked, covered only by my apron> he looks baffled but tries it anyway> instantly vomits> this is my only chance> toss apron aside> start dry humping his leg to establish dominance while he's focused on barfing> i am the superior chef now> he calls the cops> pull a glock out of my ass> double tap to the back of his head> i get my chefs knife from the kitchen> carefully carve his face off and wear it, body was thrown in the freezer> cops finally come in> they bust through the door> "EVERYONE GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR"> everybody walk the dinosaur
>>10331173That was so fucking bad.Im not even gonna bother with posting the screenshot on the 4chan reddit.
>>10330694diteen lekker worstenbroodje zal Gordon wel lusten!
>>10331173thanks anon you reminded me of the good old days.>>10331186kill yourself plebbitor.
>>10330630Peanut butter jelly banana sandwich, spicy sweet chili Doritos, and white sips
>come home from work one day to find Gordon sat on my sofa looking through the TV Times >taken aback, I stutter out a "what are you doing?" as I shuffle into the room>"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? GOD">I stand there awkwardly as he licks his finger and turns the page with a snap>"is there anything you recommend?" he asks without taking his eyes off the page>"I don't watch TV I usually use the internet or an app">"unbelievable" he stares at me for about 20 seconds "go on, lets see what shit you consume when left to your own devices">I boot up WWE network, some classic WCW Bash at the Beach>"Is this pre-recorded?" >I try to respond but he cuts me off>"good god is that Chris Benoit? Shocking. How old is this? IS THAT EDDY FUCKING GUERRERO? HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR 50 YEARS. TURN IT OFF.">i slide my greasy digits all over the touch screen hoping to find some Live footage>I peck at the newest content>buffering>eeeEEEEEEEAAAAOOoo>our eyes meet in the reflection of the black screen>"Jesus Christ">the video loads>I'm visibly sweating>he sits there in silence with his hand on his chin, index finger raised>"what the fuck is this?">"S-Smackdown?">"Smackdown? ITS FUCKING RAW"
>>10330849i'll serve an omelette up his ass
Grilled lamb without lamb sauce.
>>10330630Strychnine and rice pilafhopefully he will eat enough before scolding me on my poor attempt at murder
>>10330630Make him one of his shitty "I've completely given up" burgers. And then punch him in his stupid fucking face. How did his mother not instantly expose him to the elements to die when she saw his retarded face?
fresh local produce, cooked simply, beautifully prepared
Scrambled eggs with lots of semen mixed in so it's the consistency he likesSeriously the cunt cannot cook eggs
I would write “Justice for Amy” in Heinz ketchup on paper plate
>>10331886I HIT U I AM BIG GUY!!!! GRRRRRRRRsummers close billy could you just do your homework and wait when your kind starts posting
>>10330630A heeping pile of my shit decorated with earlier prepared enema coulis garnished with a sprinkling of my ginger ass-beard
Arsenic laced overcooked eggs with undercooked bacon, burnt toast and a cup of instant coffee with a generous amount of spit and more arsenic. I dislike him and would want his last meal to be a bad one.
>>10330630Oats honestly. I don't need to prove anything to him.
>>10330630I'd devilishly purchase some fast food hamburgers and pass them off as my own.
>>10332784>he still think steamed hams is funnyThis board beats memes to death worse than reddit.
>>10330849>implying I want to be one of his chefs
>>10332804It got me a precious (You), which validates my existence.
just a fortune cookie on a platein it the message will say>i am woman, hear me RAW
>>10330630Serve him a veggie dish with a special ingredient so he becomes a veggie too
>>10331571>TV timesYou utter fucking pleb.
>>10334191I bet you fuck up toast
>>10330630Omelette with morels and butter.
>>10330630i can make a good eggs benedict
>>10330630No, I don't.
>>10330630https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0That's how he chooses his cooks.
Raw chicken breast and a whole potato
>>10331173Absolute shit and done with even worse execution. Kys stupid try hard redditor
>>10335673vargposting confirms that you are no better
>>10335673>varg poster calling someone else a redditor
A dark chocolate souffle
A jibarito. I bet he's never had one!
>>10332775Please keep all paranormal and horrific images to /x/ pleaseI’m literally quivering right now
I’d sear some scallops with butter and thyme. I think he’d appreciate my use of white pepper instead of black when seasoning so that the scallops retain a clean presentation.I’d blanch some asparagus and give them a light sauté.I’d do my best to attempt a lemon beurre blanc but he has extensive training in classic french cuisine and a sauce like that may come under scrutiny. I’m sure as a guest of mine he’d say it was a charming attempt.I’d finish with a panna cotta, flavored with whatever fruit is in season at the time, along with a reduction.I can’t see him being too harsh, especially if he’s my guest. He would probably give me tips on how to improve everything.
>>10330630I make shakshouka and a frise salad
>>10336336If I recall, in a video he says he only rages at people on his shows that are professional chefs who should know better. I'd say he'd be very impressed with your try, anon.
Why do people watch this guy’s garbage?
>>10330630chicken and rice
Hotdog with toothpaste on it and then ask him why he blocked me.
Braised chicken drums sticks in wine. With chili, garlic and rosemary. Carrots, potatoes and broadbeans to be added in the last 10/5 minutes, and some crusty bread to soak up the juices. It's a simple and hearty dish that's hard to fuck up. I think he would be appreciative of the authenticity and honesty of the dish.
Pineapple pizza, his favorite dish.
>>10330630I'll cook my heart out for his dick