/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10268785]

First time going to a chinese buffet in around a year. When I tip, does the "waitress" keep the tip? Do they pool all the tips together? Does the grimy owner keep all of the tips?

Also, chinese buffet general thread. must be buffet related.

[Anonymous No.10268797]

>they escort you out of the buffet for the second time this week

[Anonymous No.10268802]

>>10268785
No, they go to triads. Do not tip.

[Anonymous No.10268823]

>>10268802
Not sure if you're serious or not but it wouldn't surprise me. I went back to my table because I forgot my wallet, and I saw one of the workers cleaning the table while the lady who seemed like the boss of them collected the tip.

[Anonymous No.10268836]

>>10268823
That’s the mamasan.

[Anonymous No.10269266]

>>10268836
Yeah, she owns them. They were collateral for their families loans when they were fresh off the boat.

[Anonymous No.10269278]

>>10268785
>meat on a stick
aww yiss

[Anonymous No.10269297]

>>10268785
I like to get the crab rangoon from my local Chinese buffet. Uma delicia!

[Anonymous No.10269299]

Please! Don't take the steam tray! Sir!

[Anonymous No.10269494]

>>10269297
"crab"

[Anonymous No.10269510]

Some general buffet tips. Avoid items like vegetables, rice and noodles that are cheap and quickly fill you up. Focus on the expensive items, like seafood and meats. Try not to drink too much liquids.

[Anonymous No.10269547]

Why do Chinese buffets cost so fucking much nowadays? Seriously wtf

[Anonymous No.10269552]

>>10269297
They are really easy to make at home, look up a recipe but don't add the amount of sugar they tell you. I've only had them from one restaurant where they were sweet and didn't prefer it.

[Anonymous No.10269565]

>>10269494
Do you think they'd really bother getting a small $10 can of jumbo lump when you can get the equivalent in pollock for a third of the price?

[Anonymous No.10269576]

>>10269547
if people are still coming in and they're making money, then the price is right

[Anonymous No.10269591]

>>10269510
What's the absolutely most expensive item at chinese buffets? Will I get kicked out if I eat all of it? Is it the little baby lobsters by any chance? How do I even eat those?

[Anonymous No.10269673]

>>10269494
wow groundbreaking news there fagtron

[漢人 No.10269746]

Chink here. You can ask me anything cooking related, I'll try my best to answer you

[Anonymous No.10269832]

>>10268785
>Chinese food
>gets three slices of garlic bread
>with chicken on a stick
>and fried noodles with rice
>repeat 4-6 times
>gets over charged
>leaves tip
>goes home
>hangs self for being 300 pounds overweight
>breaks support bean
>whole house comes down
>slow death of being crushed by dry wall.

[Anonymous No.10269842]

>>10269746
is pineapple an acceptable pizza topping?

[Anonymous No.10269849]

>>10268785
why are there chicken mcnuggets at a chinese buffet????

[Anonymous No.10269856]

>>10269746
What's the deal with hairstyles?

[Anonymous No.10269873]

>>10268785
Crab is the the only reason to go to a Chinese buffet. And I mean the real crab, whole legs or claws. Also sesame balls, but that just might be at my local one. They're god damn delicious.

[Anonymous No.10269875]

>>10268785
Most all of these restaurants are family owned, or the owner is acting as a greencard-printing machine for extended family/friends back in china. (If you have a job already lined up it's incredibly easy to get approved.) The tips are all collected by the owner. They're usually split up later so the cooks in the back get paid too. But they're all already splitting the profits usually. "Waitresses" at these places include children and family members, which aren't required to even be paid minimum wage. Money is pooled, they import more chinks, they feed us fat Americans more out of feed troughs intended for livestock and laugh.

>>10269849
Kids menu... for parents who bring fucktrophies in so picky they won't even eat the rest of the damn menu. I occasionally see pizza and french fries too.

[Anonymous No.10269889]

>>10269591
>baby lobster
kek

[Anonymous No.10269909]

>>10269849
Americans.

[Anonymous No.10269927]

>>10269746
How do I initiate a happy ending at a Chinese massage parlour?

[Anonymous No.10269928]

>>10269746
Is it true that the Chinese will play a joke and go pee pee in my Coke?

[Anonymous No.10269938]

>>10269927
Ask for the Cream of Sum Yung Gai

[Anonymous No.10269960]

>>10269856
first pic, in Confucianism it's a no no to cut your hair since it's the result of your parents or something yadda yadda
second pic is when the qing took over and mandated every chink to cut their hair as a sign of subservience, anyone who didn't get killed
third pic is basically fuck the qing, aahhhhhhhh modernization

[Anonymous No.10270529]

>>10269938
some young guy?

[Anonymous No.10270566]

They're normally family owned so they probably pull all their money together.

[Anonymous No.10270581]

>>10269875
I was in one that had like a 4 year old girl waitress

[Anonymous No.10270598]

>>10268785
Depends on the place. Some places you keep whatever tips you earn, other pool them all together and divide it evenly at the end of the shift. If the management is more laid back they'll usually do the first one, if it's by someone who is more business oriented they'll go by the second one cause less chance of people playing with the money.

[Anonymous No.10270599]

>>10269510
I don't eat for profit, I eat for pleasure. My favorite things to get are crab rangoons and all the lo mein I can handle. You can't make stir-fry noodles like that in a home kitchen.

[Anonymous No.10270603]

My local one has these flaky lotus shaped pastries, what are they called? I can't remember what they call them there, but when I tried looking it up I got no results.

[Anonymous No.10270657]

>>10270599
You physically can't make proper stir fry at home because you need an industrial burner to get a wok hot enough.

[Anonymous No.10270660]

>>10269875
>Assblasted because when he finally worked up the nerve to ask the chink waitress at his lardass feeding buffet he was fapping over, she laughed at him.

[Anonymous No.10270855]

>>10270603
This is what I'm talking about.
The outside layer is baklava crust.

[Anonymous No.10271392]

>>10269591
>Will I get kicked out if I eat all of it?
No its a buffet.

[Anonymous No.10271406]

>>10270599
KEK, fucking pathetic.

Thankfully when soyboy idiots/losers like you pay 17.95 to fill up on noodles and rice that costed the restaurant literally 1.50$ you subsidize the cost of crab legs and roast duck for the rest of us non-losers.

Keep on sipping your cola fountain drink and slurping on cheap noodles like a good little boy for the rest of us

[Anonymous No.10271475]

>>10269746
Are you from the North or South?

[Anonymous No.10271512]

>>10271406
Why is everyone on /ck/ so goddamn poor? It's depressing, like half the threads are all about how to save money or eat cheaply. I can just picture you, sitting there smugly with your tower of shrimp in a booth by yourself while everyone else is just picking what they feel like eating hanging out.

This is your future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBCLXZmMQNs

[Anonymous No.10271530]

>>10271512
Mainlander Chinese are known to be bad tourists everywhere. I think it's something to do with the fact that the commoners/peasants now have money to travel so they haven't had time to develop good tourism manners coupled with the fact that they think they're superior to others.

[Anonymous No.10271592]

>>10270855
Egg tart, usually they're made with kind of a shortbread pie crust. I think these guys just used a wonton wrapper because it's less work.

[Anonymous No.10271599]

>>10269510
>eating rice and noodles at a buffet
I only stuff my face with meat

[Anonymous No.10271623]

>>10270657
This is a lie. You get a a wok up to "breath of the dragon" temperatures on a normal charcoal grill.

[Anonymous No.10271631]

>>10269278
I get this all the time when I go to the buffet. No regrets.

>>10269849
A lot of "Chinese" buffets have pizza, nuggets, fried chicken, and other things for children because they're super picky. You see this a lot in sit down restaurants. I see parents get McDonald for their kid because the kid won't eat anything at the sit down restaurant, even though the fucking restaurant has a kid menu.

[Anonymous No.10271638]

>>10271599
I get fried rice, noodles, meat on stick, soup, corn fritters, and general tao chicken.

That's my ultimate Chinese buffet order/plate. Get it every time.

[Anonymous No.10271644]

>Tfw your local chinese buffet makes godlike steamed buns and dumplings
Honestly better than any of the local take out places

[Anonymous No.10271666]

>>10271638
no point for me to eat carbs when i can get fried rivce for a dollar any day of the week

[Anonymous No.10271676]

>>10271638
Seriously, putting rice and noodles on your plate at a buffet is such an entry tier move. You're never going to get your money's worth.

[Anonymous No.10271677]

>>10269938

[Anonymous No.10271688]

>>10271676
Eh I just eat what I like. But just out of curiosity what do you mean and what would you recommend? Also my local place charges $10 for a lunch buffet with a drink.

[Anonymous No.10271692]

>>10271688
>I just eat what I like

[Anonymous No.10271695]

>>10271692
What is wrong with Apple Jacks? Nigger. And what's wrong with eating what you like?

[Anonymous No.10271717]

>>10271688
You need to eat more than you paid for or you lose at the buffet and the proprietor disproportionately profits from your failure. I'd just eat anything that isn't cheap filler. Rice, noodles, pasta, bread, potatoes/fries are all out. After that, select whatever looks good and make sure you eat a little more than you feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous No.10271739]

>>10271512
>Make a retarded purchase
>What are you poor?

Just buy the one item you eat instead of paying for a buffet price.

[Anonymous No.10271757]

>>10271512
Can you elaborate on how I'm so poor because I don't feel like spending 20$ on two plates of noodles and rice?

[Anonymous No.10272435]

>cheap chinese buffet that offered student discount raised their price & dropped the discount because they started serving sushi
I'm not eating sushi from no chinaman.

[Anonymous No.10272878]

>>10271406
>literally eating a sub par meal out of spite just to get slightly more bang for your buck
>people who eat whatever they want and have a nice balanced meal are the idiots

You guys are as bad as /v/ at this point.

[Anonymous No.10272891]

>>10272878
We've been there for awhile now

[Anonymous No.10272893]

>>10272891
So who is the Dan Schneider of cooking?

[Anonymous No.10272903]

>>10272893
Mario Batali?

[Anonymous No.10272912]

>>10269278
This always tastes the same no matter what buffet you go too. Shit must be like 3 ingredients.

[Anonymous No.10272914]

>>10269297
I like how most of these buffets have real crablegs but they still put the imitation stuff in the rangoons.

[Anonymous No.10272916]

>>10269591
Have never found a buffet that can properly cook or spice crawfish.

[Anonymous No.10272919]

>>10268785
>When I tip, does the "waitress" keep the tip? Do they pool all the tips together? Does the grimy owner keep all of the tips?
Depends on the restaurant.
Most Chinese buffet owners are pretty slimy, usually they will get a bunch of their family over on work Visas to be the staff, so its an insular system to begin with.

[Anonymous No.10272928]

>>10269875
Wow dude, sounds like you have some serious hang ups about people coming to the US and using our economic system to succeed in life.

[Anonymous No.10272939]

>>10272893
Obviously Guy Fieri.
Flavortown is a real place, and it caters to a young taste pallet.

[Anonymous No.10272941]

>>10272928
A "dirty chink" took his busboy job.

[Anonymous No.10272942]

>have to go get the food yourself
>tipping just for the person refilling your water

jesus christ

[Anonymous No.10272945]

>>10271717
Want to know how I know you grew up poor?
Because I do the exact same thing.
You never shake it.

[Anonymous No.10272949]

>go to buffet
>they have chocolate milk on tap at the drink station
>end up drinking like a gallon of chocolate milk

[Anonymous No.10272948]

>>10272942
Had the staff practically babysitting my nephew. Those asian bitches really love babies. It was worthy of a tip.

[Anonymous No.10272954]

>>10269547
>Why do Chinese buffets cost so fucking much nowadays?
>>10269510
>Some general buffet tips. Avoid items like vegetables, rice and noodles that are cheap and quickly fill you up. Focus on the expensive items, like seafood and meats. Try not to drink too much liquids.

[Anonymous No.10272956]

>>10269746
What part of Canada do you live in?

[Anonymous No.10272959]

>>10269297
I dislike how sweet most places make them. Thankfully one buffet in my town seems to make them quite well.

[Anonymous No.10272962]

>>10269856
>tonsured head & queue
Fucking what does that even mean? In English please.

[Anonymous No.10272993]

>>10272962
>spoonfeed dictionary.com to me!

[Anonymous No.10273005]

>local super buffet has knock off final fantasy looking characters painted on the walls.
Perfect thing to stare at while i shovel overly greasy seafoods and meats into my maw.

[Anonymous No.10273514]

>>10272914
I can't believe how blissfully ignorant you are. Everything, including the "crab" rangoons, is pre made. They simply heat everything up and put it in the slop troughs for consumption. It would never make sense for them to make the rangoons from scratch, crack a bunch of crabs, etc

[Anonymous No.10273547]

Why are the Chinese ones so much better than the normal ones like hometown buffet, where they can't even be assed to properly wash everything they use?

[Anonymous No.10273636]

>>10273514
They're premade but they throw them in the deep fryer at least along with the eggrolls and whanot. Unless the buffet you're going to is absolute shit.

[Anonymous No.10273730]

>>10273514

I really want to go to a food distributor's trade show now and eat sysco onion rings and take a onion ring button.

[Anonymous No.10273752]

for me it's the shitty pot stickers
easily will fill an entire plate with those

[Anonymous No.10273753]

>>10273514
That feeling when you're sitting in your favorite local chinese buffet in the off-meal hours (because only lonely losers like myself eat alone at a buffet at 10am) and:
I've personally seen the staff sitting at a table in the back shelling peas, cracking oysters apart, seeing manager come in with his own stainless steel bowl full of egg-roll filling that he made at home.
I know this would probably make most people cringe at multiple health code violation mode, but I love the place I found that they actually make some shit themselves. (not saying they don't use a ton of pre-made stuff, but damn they have their specialties at this place).

[Anonymous No.10273777]

>not having at least two tactical vomits so that you can easily get 10 plates worth of food inside you.

[Anonymous No.10273792]

>>10269746
How do you boil noodl

[Anonymous No.10274334]

>tfw can't find cream cheese only Rangoon in the area ever since the one buffet in town got shut down for being the stereotypical dirty Chinese-American buffet

Now don't get me wrong, I'd rather have a fine gut than rangoon-induced food poisoning, but still.

[Anonymous No.10274386]

>>10274334
>tfw your local takeout place was shut down because the owner was illegal
>tfw his brother took over, but was also illegal

[Anonymous No.10274442]

>>10269266
>>10268823
>>10268785
Not sure If i'm too late but this isn't too far off, when my parents where younger they worked at one and they told me about how a lot of the chinese workers would all live in a apartment, 10-15 in one. The money for rent would come out of all their checks on top of other things like food and clothes. It's a pretty fucked up scenario. This was years ago so i don't know if they still do it like this but i wouldn't be surprised.

[Anonymous No.10274469]

>>10269746

I think it goes without saying but no one actually eats anything that they make in the chinese resturants do they?

>>10269927
Have extra cash on hand and don't initiate the offer, wait for them toask first then pay whatever your willing to give. Their willingness depends on how much you pay.

[Anonymous No.10274698]

>>10269510
brainlet retard post "i gots ta get muh monies worth!!!"

[Anonymous No.10276364]

I fill my first plate with Sesame & General Tao chicken, topped off some sweet & sour chicken, a pork egg roll and a vegetable spring roll.
Next plate is sushi and crab rangoon.
Drink some hot tea.
Go back for more sesame chicken, eggrolls and maybe mystery meat on a stick.
Feel disgusted with my self, but choke down a couple bland chinese cookies and go back to work to sleep for the next 2 hrs at my desk.
Repeat 2 days later.

[Anonymous No.10277204]

>>10269842
yes, very delicious (in chingrish: "good good eat")

[Anonymous No.10277285]

>>10269510

There was a British tv show that gathered 3 'professional' eaters and had them visit separate buffets and try to eat enough to at least break even with the cost of admittance.

None could do so. Closest was £3.50 short of breaking even.

[Anonymous No.10277521]

>>10277285
I don't know how much Brita actually pay, but in America the average buffet is like $16 including admission, drink, food waste charge, and tax.
If they were actual professional eaters they could've cleaned out at least twice that amount easily.

[Anonymous No.10277549]

>>10269510
Avoid soda imo, water is sufficient. Also avoid a straw, use your lips so you dont suck in air.

[Anonymous No.10277578]

I work for slightly more than minimum wage at one of these places, eat a lot of chicken, and sushi if they have it.

[Anonymous No.10277587]

Sunk cost fallacy: the thread

[Anonymous No.10277600]

>>10277587
Suck on my gf's dick, mr. logician

[Anonymous No.10277617]

>>10277600
Is her (his) dick nice and feminine?

[Anonymous No.10277771]

>>10273777
trips speaks the truth. I puke 2-3 times during the meal,once pretending i have to pee, once "accidentally" getting some sort of sauce on my hands and going to "clean it off", and I play my ringtone to pretend to take a phone call if I need a third tactical vomit.

I've gone with the same friends and they've never caught on, I've done this 3-4 times with some of them.

[Anonymous No.10277852]

>>10277617
Yes, yes it's cute and feminine.

[Anonymous No.10278342]

>>10277521
It's about the equivalent of about $20 here. I remember watching that program as well, they reckoned 6 or 7 plates is the break even point for them. But seeing as most people don't have more than a couple they rake it in. The worst thing for them to happen is if the place isn't busy, as they lose a lot of money through food wastage.

[Anonymous No.10278593]

>>10277521
>>10278342
West Coast fag here, I ran down to the buffet in my area so I could grab the price list, and keep in mind this is a fairly decent one too. That guy who said $16 is pretty spot on, the price here says lunch is only $7.99 but you gotta factor in all the other shit that comes with going to a buffet.

[Anonymous No.10279010]

>>10268785
i think they pool it all together because i rarely get my dick sucked for my 10$ tip

[Anonymous No.10279502]

a chinastar is about to open hope it's good since the other decent Chinese buffet closed

[Anonymous No.10280050]

>>10270855

had these last week for the first time
good

[Anonymous No.10280308]

>>10269510
>it's an EATING FOOD MAKES YOU FEEL FULL post
I see posts like this all the fucking time, and I know /ck/ will laugh their ass of at me for this, but that always seemed rude and gross as fuck. Like, yeah it'd be silly to pay $6-to-10 for JUST rice, but if you're gonna eat the extra-greasy, MSG-sauce-soaked meats at a buffet, don't you want something plain and bland to balance that out, maybe soak up some of that extra oil?

[Anonymous No.10280317]

>>10268785
If I have to pay for my food before I eat it, I dont tip.

[Anonymous No.10281129]

>>10278593
other than tax, what do you mean? lmaoing@your life if you pay for a beverage.

[Anonymous No.10281158]

>>10269510
>going to a buffet to win a make-believe economic battle with the owner instead to eat a lot of foods you enjoy
Careful buddy, they probably plant CIA micro-transmitters in the shrimp so they can pinpoint your location and send planes to drop chemicals on your house.

[Anonymous No.10281559]

>>10272962
There is literally a picture. Do I need to Dr. Seuss it for you?

[Anonymous No.10282898]

While we're on the subject of Chinese food, does anyone know what the top middle thing is? I've had it before but I don't know its name, I just randomly came across it in a BBC News article.

[Anonymous No.10282901]

>>10282898
Ginger fried beef, I believe.

[Anonymous No.10282931]

>>10282901
>none of the restaurants nearby sell it
Damn, thanks anyway, anon

[Anonymous No.10282932]

>>10269297
lmao not even chinese food.

[Anonymous No.10282940]

>>10281158

>>10281158
fucking lol

[Anonymous No.10282950]

>>10282931
Could be called something like crispy beef

[Anonymous No.10282956]

>>10269494
They actually taste bad with real crab. Time to stop pretending crab is even important to crab rangoon.

[Anonymous No.10283121]

>>10269591
How do you eat crayfish? I feel like im wasting 80% of it when i just eat the tail

[Anonymous No.10283158]

>>10282931
It was invented in Canada. Feel free to come and try it here, anytime.

[Anonymous No.10284175]

Buffet threads are always fun

[Anonymous No.10284255]

>>10271530
Imagine ghetto niggers going to the Louvre
This is the Asian version of that, only without the rap music and replaced with gigantic amount of people

[Anonymous No.10284264]

>>10272941
I didn't know spic had it in for chinks. All my spic friends have Asian pussy and all the Mexican girls can't stop humping the Asian dudes. It's some kind of weird culture exchange going on

[Anonymous No.10285334]

>>10269278
Ok since Chinese buffets all buy from the same distributor, could you in theory buy these in bulk? Asking for a friend, of course.

[Anonymous No.10286879]

>tfw the guard dogs get antsy after you go up for your 8th plate and you have to throw some of your crab legs at them as a distraction

[Anonymous No.10287097]

>>10271695

No need for racism anon, it's 2018.

[Anonymous No.10288986]

>>10285334
Sure thing fatty, just call up your local distributor

[Anonymous No.10289979]

>>10287097
Do you know where you are, cuck?

[Anonymous No.10290052]

>>10287097
>muh current year
>racism

[Anonymous No.10290092]

>>10268785
If you tip any of these slim, tightly trimmed eye brow with the thin bald vagina, they will be glad to let you eat them out when their shift is over. I've had so many success with tipping $20. They taste the best when their pale and slim though.

[Anonymous No.10290112]

>>10269591
>baby lobsters
And you better enjoy it while you can. Shit is cash

[Anonymous No.10290118]

>>10269746
what is the best chink porn with pic related times?

[Anonymous No.10290187]

>>10274442
That's still the case. There's was a documentary on Netflix about this agency in San Fransisco that sets up families from China to work at Chinese restaurants across the US. Sometimes it's a family that pools their money to buy someone else's restaurant, other times it's just some young guy who gets a job and a bus ticket to South Dakota to work a restaurant until his English improves.

[Anonymous No.10291253]

>>10277771
>torturing yourself so you can feel like you pulled a fast one on the owner of the restaurant
>being this american