al/ck/ thread

[Anonymous No.10178414]

no edition edition

[Anonymous No.10178425]

>>10178414
Day 2 is about to come to a close.
Doesn't technically count since I just had 1 glass of wine, but that's all I had left and I'm not leaving the house.

[Anonymous No.10178429]

>>10178414
How do you guys deal with dating while being a permanent drunk?

[Anonymous No.10178433]

>>10178425
Watch Ladyhawke and go to bed.

[Anonymous No.10178453]

>>10178429
I've never been on a date in my life, had sex, or had a gf. I'm 28. I'm not permanently drunk anymore but I used to be.

[Anonymous No.10178457]

>>10178433
I don't know what Ladyhawke is actually.

[Anonymous No.10178465]

>>10178425
Day 8 here. Like 14 minutes sleep last night before my neighbours CUNT of a dog began its desperate, daily task of informing the entire street that another person, car or leaf had passed the building. I made it past midnight without buying any booze though so unless I get a cab, I’m sober until 6am earliest.
>>10178429
I deal with it by getting drunk when she leaves me for being drunk.

[Anonymous No.10178467]

>>10178429
Eventually it shows through. You can have dates where you both have a lot of wine. You can outpace her a bit on nights at home. You can get drunk by yourself on your nights alone.

But eventually she catches on. So if you're looking for an idea on how to make it past a few months, I'm afraid I'm not sure. But up to then you can make it look fairly normal.

[Anonymous No.10178471]

>>10178429

I stopped bothering with women. Once you've been on 100s of dates and been through 50+ breakups over the boozing it gets old. Ex gf fap folder gets me through the occasional urge. Women are annoying anyways.

[Anonymous No.10178509]

>>10178471
Dude I wish I could just know what the whole dating into a relationship thing was like once.
I mean as long as I knew what it was like once I'd barely care if I died, but whenever something comes up like the surgery I had to have on my leg a while ago it really fucks with me because I could die without ever having been with a woman.
It feels really weird to even consider being able to have a relationship when you're 28 and literally have no experience besides simply having talked to and partied with a few girls in college.

[Anonymous No.10178515]

day five of a beer bender. had to call in sick to school Monday and today. cant believe i went on another bender. im sweating fucking bullets

[Anonymous No.10178519]

>>10178453
are you me?
28, I've never been on a date in my life, or had a gf
had sex once, when my crush stayed at my place, I was drunk and kinda flirty, got her drunk too, and we fucked all night.
the morning after she just fucked me again, and then she left.
she still friendzoned me again after that.
that was 5 years ago, we are still good friends, but not more...

[Anonymous No.10178529]

>>10178457

It's a chill 80s fantasy movie. Watch that or Willow with Val Kilmer and the midget. Top comfy kino desu.

[Anonymous No.10178532]

>>10178529
I have seen Willow though, classic.

[Anonymous No.10178538]

>>10178519
There was this half-black chick that liked me and would have fucked me, and we got into bed on two separate occasions but my nerves were so insane that I couldn't do it. I was even drunk both times too, and I NEVER get nervous when I'm drunk. Like my entire body locked up and was tingling, I could barely talk. Then we just stopped and talked regularly and slept together but we never had sex.
I think it was better that we didn't though, in retrospect I didn't want to fuck her I don't think, she was just my only prospect before graduation.

[Anonymous No.10178567]

>>10178509

I understand how you feel my dude. If it makes you feel any better, you're really not missing much. With women, it's always "What Have You Done For Me Lately". You could save her from a burning car, a few days later she'll be right back to wondering if she'd be happier with the hot new guy who just started working at the office. She'll always have a least a few guys on the back burner, waiting for you to fuck up, or even just for her to get pissed off for no reason whatsoever. If you slip up and your social standing diminishes, you come up short on the dinner bill, play a song she doesn't like, etc etc etc you better believe she's thinking about getting revenge with one of her beta orbiters.

The thing you're longing for exists only in the movies. Irl women don't give a fuck about you, even one who says she loves you. The only person in this world who can love you is yourself.

[Anonymous No.10178684]

>>10178567
I have a few reasons to think why you may be right about some of these things because I've actually felt them in real life in certain situations, but mainly I'm just saying that and I read what you had to say and thanks for replying.

[Anonymous No.10178712]

>>10178429
I usually end up going silent for a few days while on a bender, since I use an app to block all of my social media/text/calls so I don't do stupid shit. The girl gets upset, and then I have to put out some bullshit excuses about how I like her a lot and was scared of getting too attached. They eat that shit up, we make up, bang again, repeat

[Anonymous No.10178725]

>>10178467
>You can outpace her a bit on nights at home
The girl I'm dating said she wanted to get drunk together one night because it would be fun. She drank one bottle of wine and was hammered, I had 12 beers about 5-6% abv each and was barely buzzed. She had some questions the next morning about why I wasn't drunk at all from 12 strong beers

[Anonymous No.10178730]

>>10178515
> had to call in sick to school

Jesus kid, get your shit together while you still have the chance

[Anonymous No.10178742]

>>10178429
>dating
It's annoying how normie infested this containment thread is. Fucking puking all over themselves alkies have wives and I'm a fit functional alcoholic with a well paying job and I'm khv. You have no reason to be an alkie if you have people that love and care about you.

[Anonymous No.10178746]

>>10178730
Maybe he's a teacher

[Anonymous No.10178805]

Broke my sobriety by drinking half a pint of vodka today. I was about a week and a half sober. Being a recovering alcoholic while still living with your parents is a fucking nightmare. I hate myself more for having drunk it more now than I ever have when I was drinking regularly.

[Anonymous No.10178811]

>>10178805
It sucks man, but sobriety is an ongoing process. I know this is debatable, but in my opinion a slip up isn't the same as a relapse. Slip ups happen, and honestly a half pint isn't bad. It just depends on how you respond to it. Take it as a lesson, and write down how you currently feel, and how much you hate yourself for having done it. It's a nice reminder next time you get that itch

[Anonymous No.10178839]

>>10178742
>You have no reason to be an alkie if you have people that love and care about you.
Bullshit. Hollywood A-lister multimillionaires who live in multiple mansions, have chauffeur-driven bentleys, have everything money can buy and are drowning in endless 10/10 vaginas are frequently still rekt as fuck. Having somewhere cosy to marinade your squelching sections does not automatically mean life isn't unbearable without being blackout fuckfaced 7 days a week.

[Anonymous No.10178862]

>>10178730
easier said than done, man

[Anonymous No.10178863]

>>10178839
This already.
There's always some brainlet that doesn't get that it literally doesn't matter who you are or what you have.

[Anonymous No.10178873]

Hey guys
When most of you use the word ''bender''...
For instance: I've done a 3 days, 4 days, 5 days bender, did this, did that, etc.
Do you mean that you've been daydrinking-->pass out-->drink more-->rinse&repeat for eternity, or you've only been drinking in the evening? I just want to know if ''daydrinking'' must fit the definition of a ''bender''.

Thanks in advance. Oh, and yes, I'm drunk.

[Anonymous No.10178879]

>>10178873
At least for me, bender implies drinking all hours of the day I'm conscious. It usually includes not leaving the house, not showering, and rarely eating. I'll drink when I wake up, pass out for a few hours, wake up again and repeat until my body literally starts rejecting both alcohol and food, and I have no choice but to stop. Only drinking in the evening is more along the lines of functional alcoholism

[Anonymous No.10178952]

WHAT KIND OF CUNT THINKS THIS IS OK WITHOUT TELLING ME?? Fucking hell, zero net access on any of my pc’s until 6am. Tethered my phone, just to find that my monthly tethering data allowance is like one byte, and now it’s all gone. Kys talktalk, it’s fucking 2018 not 1998. Wow I’m bored.

[Anonymous No.10178958]

>>10178873
Bender really has never been defined as only drinking in the evening.
You just drink when you are conscious for days.

[Anonymous No.10178962]

>>10178958
Oh and yes you can still go out and do things on a bender, but probably not work unless you can freely drink at your workplace.

[Anonymous No.10178981]

>>10178873
If I drink, I’ve relapsed. One drink results in me drinking to the point of being annihilated, which means going into withdrawal the next day, so I drink again. I guess some people drink the next day to avoid hangovers, too. Either way, it’s a relapse, so you’re back on the bottle for.. who knows. Days, weeks, years or until you die, because it was ‘the one’. For me personally, if I’ve relapsed, then if I’m conscious I’m drunk or drinking, from the moment I open my eyes. It doesn’t necessarily require day drinking, merely falling off the wagon and being back on the sauce.

[Anonymous No.10178989]

>>10178879
>>10178958
Thanks for the answers, lads. I was asking the question because English isn't my first language, so I'm not familiar with that word. When I translate it in some websites, it's like the equivalent of... ''oh, uh, yeah, being drunk''. So I wanted to know.

I drink a lot on many evenings, which explains my curiosity. Daydrinking is quite scary and I wanted to know if a ''bender'' (as used by fellows here) was concerned by that or not.

Sometimes I wake up on Saturdays and really want to continue what I've been doing the evening before. Never done it, but I'm getting close now... Hence my question. Etc.

[Anonymous No.10179000]

>>10178989
>Daydrinking is quite scary

Ya, that's usually the point when you go from binge drinker to alcoholic and start to get physical dependency. Even if you only drink in the evenings, you can usually wake up in the morning and function. Sure, you may feel like shit, but you can still function. Once you start drinking during the day, even if it's just sipping throughout the day to maintain that pleasant buzz, that's when your body starts becoming dependent and you get withdrawal once you stop. You said you sometimes wake up and want to continue, but really fight through it if you can. That's really how the true alcoholism starts

[Anonymous No.10179006]

>>10178989
its horrible. dont,

[Anonymous No.10179027]

>tfw remembering being a teen daydrinker. Whole world was fun, everything was an adventure, every day/night was turbocharged, hazard-strewn escapade, no blackouts, barely even a hangover
>then it’s suddenly two decades later and life is fucked to the very foundation

[Anonymous No.10179076]

>>10178981
>>10179000
>>10179006
Thanks again. I'll bookmark the thread and re-read your answers tomorrow when I'm sober, because of course I'm not at all right now. I got close to daydrinking last Saturday, but convinced myself not to. I'm so used to black outs now, so much that wondering what black out me would do at 4 in the aftertoon (instead of 1 or 2 in the morning) is a scary question.

[Anonymous No.10179079]

>>10179027
now you know why people kill themselves. life stops being fun and games, and becomes cutthroat and merciless. im hanging on til mom dies, then im outta here.

[Anonymous No.10179085]

Should I go out and get another bottle of wine?
Or maybe beer... I have work at 6 AM.

[Anonymous No.10179090]

>>10179076
its less an issue of dumb moves, and more an issue of being physically and mentally too fucked up to do what is required in your life for the next few days.

[Anonymous No.10179094]

>>10179085
nah man. call it a night.

[Anonymous No.10179117]

>>10178453
my exact situation down to the age, i dont drink as much anymore either due to the xanax/alcohol withdrawal i went through. That shit gave me PTSD

[Anonymous No.10179138]

>>10179094
Will do Captain

[Anonymous No.10179160]

>>10179000
This guy is absolutely right. If there's anyone wondering about this stuff, they should listen to this guy because he's speaking the absolute truth of how it happens.

[Anonymous No.10179178]

>>10179079
Where does she live? I can help you out if you want.

[Anonymous No.10179240]

failed my tolerance break for I'm starting to fall for the /fit/ meme boys, this is my third day lifting and I'm really enjoying it

can't barely move my body right now while having an 8 pack

[Anonymous No.10179242]

>>10179240
tolerance break BUT* dammit

[Anonymous No.10179274]

>>10179240
the /fit/ meme is the best you can fall for man. Once you become body dysmorphic every time you drink you'll look in the mirror and think "damn, I lost quality gains"

[Anonymous No.10179286]

>>10179079
>im hanging on til mom dies, then im outta here.
I'm with you man. I've run the numbers many times over. I cannot afford to live, even if I give up the booze. I have no support network for jobs or crime, so once she dies, so do I.

[Anonymous No.10179298]

>>10179286
With houses being so expensive nowadays and everyone living with their parents forever, I expect this is a common timebomb waiting to shart itself all over society.

[Anonymous No.10179304]

>shit
>stand up
>need to shit
Fuck OFF

[Anonymous No.10179344]

day 3 on the wagon. managed to avoid sobriety up to this point with weed and tobacco, but now i've officially dried up. my bank account also turned negative today, couldn't even pick up a tallboy if i tried.

[Anonymous No.10179363]

Guys talking about relationships.

I'll say this, it will end. No matter for what, rn I'm addicted to going out and it's taking a toll on a 4 yr one.

Like others have said, girls are on the what have you done for me craze, don't get me wrong, don't put off girls, if you can one night stand, do it. Long term prob ain't for you, trust me.

Ask me anything btw, was out walking bc fuck being at home, now I'm 4$ domestic monster mug on my 2nd one.

[Anonymous No.10179366]

>>10179298
I literally cannot ever imagine having my own house. I think I probably will live in an apartment forever, and I doubt I could ever marry doing that. Not that I necessarily want to get married, but not dying alone would be nice.

[Anonymous No.10179377]

>>10179366
It's terrible in the UK right now. Even middle-earners can't afford a place. The average house price, and remember that a lot of houses are in areas so shit that there's no work and they're near-enough uninhabitable, is £300,000 ($420,000) even having a flat (apartment) here is a luxury if you're under 30.

[Anonymous No.10179383]

>>10179178
thanks but no thanks.

[Anonymous No.10179390]

>>10179377
I'm a 28 burgerclap with shit work experience. One and a half jobs since my hip collapsed on the second one and I had to leave otherwise I would have stayed most likely.
The thing is I am an only son, but holy shit I really have to be able to do something to at least SHOW my folks.

[Anonymous No.10179396]

>>10179274
thanks man, I know it is the best meme to fall for

Currently drinking my beer with a straw and using the other ones as cold massagers

[Anonymous No.10179397]

>>10179377
>the average house price is 420,000 USD
I'm having problems processing this.

That's above the average price of newly constructing a house in the US.

[Anonymous No.10179430]

Finally down to a 100ml bottle in the morning and then after forcing myself to do normal things and chores for 6-8 hours I get to drink a 375ml and do whatever.
I bought:
>four 375ml 80 proof of cheap vodka
>four 100ml of the same kind.

So far it seems to be working.
I try to limit it to only 4 of each kind in case I accidently a bender.

I was buying 2 handles and splitting them into 500ml portions every day but the urge to keep drinking on an open handle was too strong.
Hopefully within two more weeks I can get down to just buying a 375ml of something half decent and drinking on it all day instead of needing the 100ml bottle when I wake up.

I also got me a half gram of some good speed to get a bump of in the mornings to help me try and get off my ass and do yardwork or bathe more.

Good news is
>My seperated-from wife is still talking to me
>I have 60$ in savings and a budget now
>I worked on my van with repairs
>Gnomes are gone and I was able to reflect on my life
>Started being nicer to all my old friends and family I pushed away

It's been a hell of a ride with yall but I feel like I have a chance for once.

There's my blog, cheers

[Anonymous No.10179440]

>>10179430
i wish you success. hope it all ends a fairy tale way.

[Anonymous No.10179441]

>>10179430
cheers my strange gnome bro, although I don't know the full story

[Anonymous No.10179449]

>>10179377
is that supposed to be expensive?

you cant even get a house for $1mil here in sydney

[Anonymous No.10179460]

>>10178414
I came to the conclusion that I was drinking because I was bored and it was amplifying the fun experience of normal things I did anyways. Now Im almost 6 months off weed + alch. I'm honestly not sure how I did it but at first it was just a day at a time but now it's like drinking doesn't even seem like an option. I just forget about it if it ever comes up in my head. I've had some pretty hard impulses to want to drink too. Ever since I quit I went from not having a job to having a shitty job and now I have a great job. I basically realized if I want to accomplish anything I have to stop being a little bitch and actually go out and do what I want. I also don't use AA (had to do it mandatory for a couple years from DUIs) because in my personal oppinion talking about drinking all the time just makes people want to drink while also putting drinking on a pedestal. Furthermore, while I did feel as if I had a lot in common with the people in AA I always thought that most of the people there just didn't have enough ambition and used it instead as a dick rating contest to see who's the more macho alchoholic. I will say running everyday helps too as well as eating healthy. My ass is about to run a marathon in a couple weeks.

I have no idea where this rambling post is going or means but Ill post again in 6 months when I actually hit a year to see if anything has changed.

[Anonymous No.10179464]

>>10179441
>>10179440
Thank yall for the kind words

>>10179441
Full story is I went on a wildman bender that lasted pretty much 3 solid years of a rollercoaster of poly-drug and alcohol and a flurry of jobs legal and illegal.
Then one faithful night my innermost subconscious mind manifested gnomes into my life to torture me and others around me until I nearly hit rock bottom but caught myself everytime before I did.
I never paid much attention to these threads as I never frequented /ck/ much till last year as I was a feature of other boards.
Anyone to cut the point
>I posted here on al/ck/ talking like an absolute nutjob at first
>And I am
>then I started posting more and more
>slowly had an outlet to talk to my favorite anons
>Slowly regained my sanity
>Now I post all the time without all the
:Trapping and taming wild animals, relentless gnome-posting, multiple personalities posting :

You all were a blessing to have with me on this

[Anonymous No.10179465]

>>10179449
Well that's countrywide. I mean if you look at places like Kensington, The median property price is £1,700,000. 3 mil ausbux

[Anonymous No.10179467]

>>10179464
>>10179441

And maybe another anon can give you a better look at the early escapades of Squirrelanon/Gnomebro

Also may Abe the Squirrel forever hunt in the local park.
Also If anyone actually saved any of my Squirrel pics please share, I lost them all and its sad

[Anonymous No.10179470]

>>10179464
Faggot oclock here, going to try for the fifth time to sleep, but yeah this place really does help when you're verging on being dangerously insane. I remember when you went gnome hunting and ended up sleeping miles away in a tent, or, something. can't remember exactly because I was dangerously fucked up too. Glad things are looking up for you, hope you can keep it together.
Right, tossing and turning uncomfortably for another hour. Lets do this thing.

[Anonymous No.10179485]

>>10179464
Don't stop posting just because you sobered up, bruh. Inspire others to escape this fucking nightmare before they too are gnomed.

[Anonymous No.10179500]

>>10179460
Inspiring. Alcohol abuse is ultimately a result of what is going on in your mind.

[Anonymous No.10179519]

>>10179500
Currently taking a month off to drop 10lbs and whatever.... I dunno man, I just wanna buy whiskey and chill out for a week, but the WD's suck hard benis and I need a job. Life is a con job.

[Anonymous No.10179521]

>>10179485
I never sobered up man, I still relapse and cheat a bit on my drinking schedule twice a week.
And I never said I would quit posting, I will always post here as far as this website stays anonymous and al/ck/ threads stay up.
I will still reply and help others as long as people still help me or call me a faggotlarper.
I was just feeling somewhat happy for once, but it could be the speed wearing off now that its midnight and the 375ml is down to the last drop.
Wanted to give an update to yall, because no-one else I know cares to hear it.

>>10179470
I just got passed the violent tossing and turning, now I am at the soak my clothes in sweat hourly , soak anything I touch in sweat. Although sleep is still poor-quality, It is doable

How much are you drinking? Remember to take multivitamins and drink plenty of water, and if you have a healthy enough heartrate for it physical labor/working out during the day helps me sleep more still and not toss.
Since I started this go out and do normal-people stuff for 6-8 hours (aka not sitting on 4chan or staring at the internet) It helped me

Oh yeah I remember when I did that, I grabbed a machete and a shotgun and ended up deep in the woods alone and passed out there. Did that multiple times, but once I mistaked the neighbors goats for gnomes and killed one and tried to bury him under a fallen tree.
I didn't even tell yall about it because I was scared that the neighbor would find out and kill me.

[Anonymous No.10179524]

>>10179366
I did have a girl willing to marry me while I was an apartment dweller, but that relationship didn't last that long.

Hold onto a girl if you cank but if you can't, well, that's alcohol and social inability for you.

[Anonymous No.10179529]

>>10179519
Hang in there it gets easier

[Anonymous No.10179553]

Beer tapers are rough as hell for me, but afterwards I feel much better even If I go right back to liquor

>the beer weight gain
>the constantly foamy gutcontents
>the sweating!

[Anonymous No.10179557]

>>10179529
Yeaaaaaaaah, I've done 8 months before it's just boring and I hate 99% of people anyways.

[Anonymous No.10179567]

>>10179521
>How much are you drinking?
Day 8 of nothing. No drugs, no benzos, no booze and definitely no fucking sleep. Last night I dreamt during the 14 minutes of memesleep I eventually got, that I had to climb an 800,000ft mountain, by way of pulling myself up a broken ski lift with my hands. When I got to the top I couldn't speak the language of the people who I found there, so they couldn't understand my screams as I dangled 80k feet in the air saying I couldn't find a place to get off. Woke up at that moment so drenched in sweat that my mattress is still soaked now. All pretty obvious, sub conscious symbolism for the situation in which I find myself now that I'm sober, and still flailing round like a directionless fuck up who's scared to death of either relapse, or having to be sober forever and not knowing how the hell to achieve it.
I do take supplements and I'm actually eating for a change, I just hope the constant temptation to relapse doesn't fuck me, because I know I'll be instantly fucked again if it does.
Hope you can stay within booze levels conducive to continued improvement mang. I fear the road to irreparable insanity isn't too far off for either of us if we don't keep it together.

[Anonymous No.10179578]

>>10179430
How fast do you drink that 375ml?
I would need to slam it, and would still want to drink more.

[Anonymous No.10179647]

>>10179578
Well I normally do:

Early morning : Awaken fitfully again but this time can no longer take it so I pour up 100ml vodka bottle , 100ml water , and 200 ml healthy juice into cup
Morning-early afternoon: Try and keep as busy or focused as possible to ignore symptoms and try and go as long as possible not drinking

Then from roughly between 2pm-8pm I try to go as long as possible between drinking
125ml vodka + 75ml water with 200ml cranberry juice in my 450ml (roughly) coffee mug.

sometimes I fuck up and down all 3 coffee mugs worth within 2 hours because I am starting to feel pretty good so after each 125ml (1/3rd) I take out from it I add roughly 62.5ml cold water in the bottle so I technically get 375ml and then a bonus super watered down drink.

Yes I have a massive measuring station in my new improvised kitchen. Don't laugh
Tapering with liquor is dangerous so If I stick to this I will hopefully one day be able to just buy a fifth of something good and sample it whenever I want because I will learn self-control.
And all this measuring makes me feel like I am making and taking a medicine to stop the symptoms.

I hope that made sense? I am not looking to catch a buzz or get drunk, I am trying to taper with liquor until I get back to only having to deal with PAWS and no more intense physical shit.

[Anonymous No.10179655]

>>10179567
Why No drugs, no benzos, no booze cold turkey?
That sounds like one of those wildly realistic dreams that is genuinely terrible that people here keep getting, Sounds terrifying.
Where are you staying that you can go through cold turkey wds?
locking yourself in a room?
do you work?
Do you ever think you can learn to moderate your drug/alcohol usage or is totally abstaining from them a more realistic goal for you, I understand that constant temptation thing thats why I would rather just be honest that I can never totally quit everything but learn when to do it and when not too.
Also what does faggot o'clock mean?

[Anonymous No.10179656]

>>10178414
What food do you make when you drink? I'm about to go grocery shopping and thinking I'll get drunk tonight and want to pick up supplies while I'm out.

[Anonymous No.10179661]

>>10178429
Find someone insecure who will deal with it if you deal with her bullshit. My gf has BPD. We're both miserable and going nowhere in life.

[Anonymous No.10179666]

>>10179647
>>10179578

Also If I fuck up and drink all of the 375ml before 5-6 pm I just have to suffer for 12 hours till I am allowed to have a 100ml bottle no sooner than daybreak. Although sometimes I have lasted till 7-8am without the 100ml bottle.

I am on a weird schedule when I have to do 24/7 care of an elderly lady 5-6 days out of the week.

She is up and down a lot , but 6-7pm is normal bedtime for her and 4-6am she tries to get up but I tell her I am not turning the coffee pot on until 6:30am every morning. (she loves coffee) It also helps her keep what little schedule she vaguely understands (routine is important in dementia care) and it helps me with pacing.

I am doing better with the whole downing the whole thing in one go and then suffering for 13-14 hours.

But for once I have some willpower to say no, I will not crack the seal on a new bottle. Never been able to really do that before.
Although I am not a saint with willpower right now, I am able to have restraint more and more each day.

[Anonymous No.10179669]

>>10179666
hope those trips arent a bad sign guy

[Anonymous No.10179675]

>>10179661
>We're both miserable and going nowhere in life
True romance

[Anonymous No.10179685]

>>10179647
Good luck with that.

[Anonymous No.10179686]

>>10179669
I will learn willpower to moderate and restraint if I make it my life goal to gain that wisdom.
My health, relations with friends and family, finally being the person I should have been to my wife and my future is at stake here.
Better late to learn it then never, and I am still young enough to either go either way , Forward or backwards. I can still turn things around before I hit total rock-bottom. I somehow didnt lose all my family and friends and still have housing and a van, and my health isnt in shambles.
>Still have enough to go better my life
>Still have enough that what I though was rock-bottom before was just the surface and I havent seen nothing yet.

Respect and a salute to our fallen al/ck/s who showed up and spoke about the horrors of what rock bottom can really turn into
I wonder how many fallen al/ck/s there are who never posted more than a time or two and just lurked all day on these threads.

[Anonymous No.10179689]

>>10178567
>The only person in this world who can love you is yourself
Which makes it a lot easier in relationships but it doesn't seem like a lot of people benefit from this here.

[Anonymous No.10179693]

>>10179675
At least I'm getting laid, bro

[Anonymous No.10179697]

>>10179685
It is working better than the beer tapering which made me just chug beers after a while and vomit foam and have liquid shit n sweats.

Unless you are not being sarcastic and thanks.
But I do know that it is a silly concept.
It works 5-6 days of the week and I only sneak in a little extra 1-2 days a week.
Although I have a bad habit of fucking up 1 day a week and buying a random bunch of sugary malt beers and random ass exotic shit and then making myself sick all day.

But this is better than 750-1500ml a day.
but the ideal sounds pretty silly to me too, but it is so far the only vague hope of moderation I have found, even if I cheat sometimes.
I just have to stay away from handles and literbottles because all bets are off and I cant help myself.

[Anonymous No.10179705]

Okay fuck I think the second bump of speed I had back at 7pm was a bad idea I didnt think it would be this strong, so much for moderation.

Now I am super-typing massive paragraphs all over this thread.
Time try to focus on something else so I dont shit up the thread with too many mega-blogs

[Anonymous No.10179745]

>>10179693
Good for you, I meant it literally.

[Anonymous No.10179811]

Wrapping up day 3 sober. Wondering why I struggle to take interest in improving my own life. Seriously, when did I become such a lazy fuck? At least other alcoholics can hold down a job for more than two months. I can't bring myself to submit a fucking application.

[Anonymous No.10179812]

>>10179430
>Gnomes are gone
For now...

[Anonymous No.10179822]

>moving to a different state
>kind of feel like I should tell the store clerk who has been serving me alcohol every day for four years
>otherwise she might think I died

[Anonymous No.10179827]

>>10179822
You should say something like, "eyy I'll miss this place, moving away." maybe you can get her number too

[Anonymous No.10179831]

>>10179827
Thanks, I might do that minus the number part as she's 50ish.

[Anonymous No.10179894]

[Anonymous No.10179947]

>>10179745
I didn't catch that. Thanks bro

[Anonymous No.10179959]

it aint ever better

[Anonymous No.10179977]

>>10179656
I don't like eating when drunk. I mean, I don't mind having a glass of wine or beer with a meal, but when I'm getting hammered I can't be distracted by food. I have to force myself to eat during long multi-day binges, I can easily forget and then I start feeling sick.

[Anonymous No.10179997]

[Anonymous No.10180003]

[Anonymous No.10180008]

[Anonymous No.10180017]

>>10179397
Yeah, up where I am in Vancouver the average house price is over a million. Even west of me on the island it's still around 600,000. Fuck.

[Anonymous No.10180041]

Not necessarily alck related but I quit smoking weed (again) on friday and its been tough. Sleepless nights, vivid nightmares when I do sleep, sweaty hands, no apetite, depression spikes and mood swings, irritability.
Been smoking probably 5x a week for 3 years.

We’re all gonna make it brehs. Just gonna keep pushing through. I’m tired of not being able to remember what I ate earlier in the day.

[Anonymous No.10180074]

>>10180041
Weed? Boo this man!

[Anonymous No.10180115]

>>10180041
>>10180074
Boooooo!

[Anonymous No.10180126]

Hey my college friend just came back from AA. I think he's pretty serious about it. How do I be a good friend and support him as best I can?

[Anonymous No.10180134]

>>10180126
buy him a round to celebrate

[Anonymous No.10180161]

>>10180126
Encourage positive thinking, always

[Anonymous No.10180169]

>>10180126
Blow him.

[Anonymous No.10180189]

>>10180169
This. replace the bottle with a dick, and his mouth with your own.

[Anonymous No.10180220]

>>10180041
Ever suck dick for weed?

[Anonymous No.10180222]

isn't a martini without vermouth just gin with an Olive? That hardly qualifies as a cocktail.

[Anonymous No.10180486]

going back to AA and getting sponsor. If i dont stop drinking something bad is going to happen to me. Went to the bar last night and got blackout drunk. Its time for me to actually quit drinking. took it to far last night.

[Anonymous No.10180491]

>>10180486
also, i am completely hungover in class

[Anonymous No.10180536]

>>10180491
I'm glad I didn't go full alcoholic until right after I graduated college. Never going alcohol probably would be preferable, but I was lucky to not be addicted when I was going to classes. I probably wouldn't have gotten my degree that I don't use.

[Anonymous No.10180539]

i was making sugar based wine. but i bought a couple gallons of cranberry juice. cause i like cranberry juice. tada i'm making cranberry wine. sugar is ok, but it's a little rough.

[Anonymous No.10180554]

>>10180536
Not the guy that you are responding to, but I started developing an alcohol problem at the end of college. I started drinking in class. Stopped going to a few of my classes in the end that I really hated. Luckily I was taking an extra semester to get a double major, so I already had all my necessary credits. Only ended up failing one class just because it was complete bullshit. But since then, it's gotten much worse. I'm at work now, ifs 9am, and I'm already sipping on some jack Daniels.

[Anonymous No.10180583]

>>10180554
I drank Jack all throughout college. Nightly, all night, copious amounts. Only ever was drunk in about two classes, but was horribly hung over in many. One time I had to leave 3 separate times to puke and shit. I remember being so hung over for finals sometimes that it was almost surreal. The actual addiction kicked in right when I was done with everything though. Lucky to graduate basically.
I don't even really drink liquor now at all. Will only have 1 or 2 drinks if I'm out at a restaurant.

[Anonymous No.10180585]

>>10180583
*Oh yeah and it's been 5 years since I graduated, looked into using my degree but didn't and didn't want to pretty damn quick. I've worked 2 small jobs since then but have done basically nothing.

[Anonymous No.10180853]

>>10179997
>>10180003
>>10180008
>mfw Trump won

[Anonymous No.10180875]

>be unemployed
>try to find work
>nobody wants to hire me
>become too depressed to look for work
>start drinking more and more to cope with it
>start running out of money to drink because no job

who else here is in this pickle? it's only noon and i want to have a beer

[Anonymous No.10180997]

Sober for 10 days now and feeling very tired and constantly craving sugar/carbs. I have been going to bed early and sleeping like a log for 8 hours a night but I am still feeling wiped out by mid afternoon. More tired than when I was drinking every night. I understand the sugar/carb cravings since my body is used to downing 10 beers a night, but I hope I'm not just trading one addition for another. This is temporary, right?

[Anonymous No.10181022]

>>10179655
>Why No drugs, no benzos, no booze cold turkey?
Nah fuck that, a couple of week taper beforehand. For me it's total abstinence or absolute, 24/7 hitting it. Faggot o'clock just means FUCK not being able to sleep - it was 7am when I typed that and I hadn't slept a wink, again. I'm so tired ffs.

[Anonymous No.10181031]

>>10179656
Peanut butter and honey are my go-to if I'm deep into a heavy bender. Instant and loaded with calories. Nuts, seeds, raisins and tinned fruit make up a more substantial diet incase I'm feeling up for it and I'll buy eggs too on the off chance I feel up to making an omelette. Parma ham works well too. Just... anything healthy (I feel bad enough already after all) instant and rich in calories I suppose,

[Anonymous No.10181046]

>>10180875
life is rough.

[Anonymous No.10181052]

>>10180997
maybe maybe not

[Anonymous No.10181059]

>>10179705
S'ok dude, we all know that feel

[Anonymous No.10181076]

I want to get a job. Im on welfare. Never ever had a decent job. Always working in a store etc.

I'm afraid even if i quit the weed and alcohol i'll still remain a fuckup because the feeling of worthlessness grinds very deep into my being.

My dad was an alcohollic and on welfare too for all his life.

[Anonymous No.10181384]

>>10181031
Sounds nice.

Fuck measuring my resting heart rate 100bpm, fuck

Not sure whether I should throw away this tramadol, got fucked up on 100mg and 2 cans of beer.

[Anonymous No.10181422]

>>10181384
wish i had some tramadol

[Anonymous No.10181442]

>>10179027
>drinking no longer brings fun
>becomes more of a chore to escape reality
>drink to "relax", wake up more tired than before
>hangover lasts multiple days until I fully recover
>If I touch anything other than wine or beers go full blackout 3 shots later
>health going down the shitter
>so are my finances
>continue drinking because that's all i know
life's a bitch and then you die

[Anonymous No.10181447]

>>10181422
I wish I had some whiskey

[Anonymous No.10181455]

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/02/180220183954.htm
>This study looked specifically at the effect of alcohol use disorders, and included people who had been diagnosed with mental and behavioural disorders or chronic diseases that were attributable to chronic harmful use of alcohol. Of the 57,000 cases of early-onset dementia (before the age of 65), the majority (57%) were related to chronic heavy drinking.

>The World Health Organization (WHO) defines chronic heavy drinking as consuming more than 60 grams pure alcohol on average per day for men (4-5 Canadian standard drinks) and 40 grams (about 3 standard drinks) per day for women. For early-onset dementia, there was a significant gender split. While the overall majority of dementia patients were women, almost two-thirds of all early-onset dementia patients (64.9%) were men.

>The authors also noted that only the most severe cases of alcohol use disorder -- ones involving hospitalization -- were included in the study. This could mean that, because of ongoing stigma regarding the reporting of alcohol-use disorders, the association between chronic heavy drinking and dementia may be even stronger.
Thinking of you al/ck/

[Anonymous No.10181472]

>>10181455
>boozing turns you into a retard
I'm fairly certain everyone here is aware of that

[Anonymous No.10181553]

Breaking my 3 day water fast with 1900 calories worth of beer.

[Anonymous No.10181695]

my tongue is coated with that disgusting white residue after a 5 day bender

cant brush it off without puking violently. really lovin' life

[Anonymous No.10181697]

>>10180997
I experienced that around that time too. It should be temporary. Understand that it's also not just a sugar thing. You were (presumably) consuming a massive amount of calories in liquor/beer/wine every day. Without that, you're almost certainly well under caloric maintenance. I was fucking GORGING myself with food around day 10, but barely gaining weight because so much of my daily caloric intake came from alcohol beforehand.

[Anonymous No.10181740]

someone recommended Hans Fallada's The Drinker here a while ago

I just finished it, thanks anon, it was pretty good

[Anonymous No.10181841]

>>10181697
Yeah, its true. I was probably taking in at least 1,500 calories a day in booze, plus eating horrible greasy fast food to settle my stomach a lot of days. Granted I gained 15 pounds in the last couple years, so I was getting more calories than I should have. I'm hoping to drop those pounds, so the increase in eating is bothering me. I'm hoping it starts to taper off a bit without too much trouble.

[Anonymous No.10181849]

I have a confession to make.

The local gas station has been charging me 1.59 dollars for steel reserve cocktail beer (black berry etc.) It's 1.99, but regular steel reserve is 1.59. They been looking at their price guide and charging me for regular steel reserve.

I never correct them, and certain employees have caught it, but blame themselves.

I'm starting to feel bad.

[Anonymous No.10181858]

>>10181849

[Anonymous No.10181967]

I'm sore as fuck, I got hit by a car yesterday while trying to run across the street to the liquor store.


Feel like a IRL frogger trying to dodge cars when I'm drunk to get to the liquor store, It was inevitable I would get hit. I just never though it would hurt as much as it does....They were only going about 35-40.

[Anonymous No.10181982]

>>10181967
dude, that scares me shitless. im so nonchalant about jaywalking. do it all the time. sorry it happened to you.

[Anonymous No.10181992]

>>10181967
How far is it to a crosswalk/intersection?

[Anonymous No.10182000]

>>10181967
Did you go to the hospital or the police or anything?

[Anonymous No.10182001]

>>10181992
At least a mile. It's just not worth walking two miles just to go 300ft and back.

[Anonymous No.10182008]

>>10182000
The police and the ambulance came, But I didn't call them. The lady that hit me did....

I refused the ambulance and had to sign a waiver, The police drove me home then after they left I walked to the liquor store successfully.

[Anonymous No.10182025]

>>10182008
Why didn't you make bank on suing the lady?

[Anonymous No.10182029]

Alcohol is one of the most boring drugs on the planet.
How do fucktards keep deluding yourself to actually take in large amounts of disgusting tasting poison every single day?

>.t anon who hasn't touched alcohol in one and a half year

[Anonymous No.10182031]

140 days sober. Still out of weed. No job or medical insurance. Depression is bad. I am in doors and have food. Could be worse. Has been worse. Life continues. Haven't filed my taxes in 3 years and am getting the paperwork together. Even with penalties, I should eventually get a sizable refund. That is all I am looking forward to.

[Anonymous No.10182033]

>>10178742

the reason you are alone is because you have no personality. you are no one. You can lift as much weights as you want and get as buff as you want but ultimately that is narcisissm. How many buff guys on /fit/ are single? Because they are no one. They have nothing. The myth of being buff and women swooning at your feet means nothing unless you have the personality to match. Your personality is being jealous of vomit on themselves drunks being more sexually active than you. That is who you are. Deal with it. You will die alone. You fucking loser cunt. "i am fit and no qt gf waaaah"

[Anonymous No.10182037]

>>10182025
I could've sued my previous employer, I'm not that type. I don't believe in that, I'm an alcoholic scumbag but I'm not going to ruin some ladies life because I'm a drunk idiot who jaywalked. I hate people who sue everyone for the dumbest fucking reasons

[Anonymous No.10182044]

>>10182037
It's every man for himself in this life. Live for yourself

[Anonymous No.10182046]

>>10182029
its incredibly easy to get if one is bored/lonely/sad/happy, etc. dont ask any more basic questions.

[Anonymous No.10182055]

>>10182031
i always try to look at the bright side too. at least with rent covered and some food, fuck it, it could be worse.

[Anonymous No.10182078]

>>10182055
I also rescued a horribly abused very sweet kitty cat recently. Took her into a no kill shelter and visited with her as she got better and eventually adopted. Life reminds me it is not so bad sometimes.

[Anonymous No.10182092]

>>10178805
Downing half a pint of vodka after being 12 days sober is a pretty good start to be honest anon.

If you keep this pace with atleast getting shitfaced only once a week you'll soon notice that you're able to put one extra day to your drought times. Honestely this works.

t. Netherlands and somehow I managed to get hooked and kick off benzo's + drink

[Anonymous No.10182100]

>>10182046
It's fucking weakness, that's what it is.
It's always the same excuses from drinkers:

>oh boy I had such a rough day at work I really deserve a few drinks
>it's weekend I better have "fun" by killing off my brain cells and slowly but surely deteriorating my inner organs

You have to accept that true happiness doesn't exist and that a large part of life is filled with agony and suffering. It always has been like that. Everyone has shitty days. Everyone gets bored. That's not a reason to put the sheets over your head and delude your own body and mind with a poison.

[Anonymous No.10182101]

just got hit with $70 in overdraft fees, what the fuuuck

[Anonymous No.10182109]

>>10182100
Are... are you Jesus? THANK YOU!

Guys, we need to make a trophy or something for this guy.

[Anonymous No.10182135]

>>10182008
>>10182033
I often jay walk drunk, and I kinda feel ya.

But I'd asked for like a 1k settlement, just to get it, knowing I could've got a fuck load more.

[Anonymous No.10182138]

>>10182100
That's what makes one an alcoholic. We respond to both problems and achievements with drinking:
>Man, today was rough at work - drink
>Hooray, I got a promotion - drink
>My favorite show's on tonight - best drink so I can enjoy it more
>Want to play video games - I'm better when I'm drunk
>Some broad is giving you shit - drink till you don't care about her
etc.
It's not like you can just say "I accept that life is shit and this isn't helping". Because we all know that already.

[Anonymous No.10182164]

>>10182044
I don't think someone who ran into traffic and got hit by a car has much hope in a lawsuit. Especially if anon signed a waiver. It's not like he was at a crosswalk or in a parking lot or something.

[Anonymous No.10182174]

>>10182164
I suppose that's true. Just trying to look out for brothers in here. We all could use some extra cash

[Anonymous No.10182173]

>>10182100
gee it's almost like addiction is irrational and addicts continue to make the choice to hurt themselves despite being fully aware of the consequences

[Anonymous No.10182197]

Just found out that my mother and my brother texted my dad to talk to me about drinking and my health. He called me and was like, "I know they overreact, but I said I'd call you." He works in the alcohol industry, so idk what the fuck they thought he'd say.
Made funnier by the fact that I'm living with my mom and she's to chickenshit to fucking talk to me about it.
Really should move out

[Anonymous No.10182211]

>>10182197
*too
I realize this is rich coming from a regular al/ck/ poster

[Anonymous No.10182223]

>>10182211

where was the *too?

[Anonymous No.10182237]

>>10182223
>to chickenshit
is what i typed

[Anonymous No.10182251]

>>10182237

fuck
>also regular al/ck/

[Anonymous No.10182271]

Non-alck here, I have an alck friend and he tells me that being an alcoholist is like being mind controlled since his mind gets filled with obsessive thoughts about booze. Is it the same for you guys?

[Anonymous No.10182295]

>>10182271
Yes. 140 days sober guy here. I have no control when it comes to alcohol. If it is around, I will drink it. I have to keep myself poor and living in an uncomfortable situation to make it impossible for me to seek alcohol. I have drank mouthwash and hand sanitizer... I do not want to live this way at all. It is not a choice, and I hope that eventually I have enough control to trust myself again. Right now, that is not the case.

[Anonymous No.10182308]

>>10182295
Oh god, what an horror. I wish you guys good luck in dealing with this. I admire your determination.

[Anonymous No.10182342]

>>10182308
Thank you. I have no choice. If I drink, I will die of drinking. Part of my brain does not care... it just knows there is this thing in every store that makes it feel better. I will always be this way because something in me is broken. I do not feel happy or pleasure anymore at all. I do not remember how. I am relearning to live this way, because the alternative is not living.

[Anonymous No.10182353]

>>10182295
Have a drink, sounds terrible.
Schedule time to work, eat, sleep and drink.
If you have responsibilities then don't drink around them.
You managed a hundred days but you didn't make any other changes with your life, go get drunk for three days then decided decide what you are going to do on your next dry period, whether you turn into a 'social' drinker, a bottle of wine at night or just going balls to the walls every 2 weeks.

[Anonymous No.10182364]

>>10182295
yeah same. i used to post my debit card to myself so i couldn't buy anything.

[Anonymous No.10182383]

>>10182353
This is a terrible idea
It sounds like anon is a binger and that 'schedule' goes out of the window after the first sip regardless of how well intentioned
I agree he needs to make some other positive changes in his life though

[Anonymous No.10182412]

>>10182383
Well 140 days of misery is not a way forward, he should have a drink and restart instead of being a sad cunt.
I honestly felt like a child when I got sober for two weeks.
We need better diets, better life styles, better hobbies, be nicer, more social, more positive, enjoy the things we do.
Not drinking isn't going to change anything.
It is just a mask or a crutch for life, being sober and acting like an obese fuck, blaming everyone else for life's ills, eating shit and not improving is going to make you miserable.
Prefer drinking myself.

[Anonymous No.10182416]

Vodka is the GOAT alcohol for an alck.

I had 8 shots real quick last night before I had to go to a family dinner (I did not drive) and not even my mom...Who has an incredible sense of smell, Could tell I had been drinking. If she did smell it she would've called me out on it in a heartbeat.

Vodka is the way to go folks, Kirkland vodka from costco is my favorite. It's literally grey goose for 14 dollars a handle

[Anonymous No.10182426]

>>10182416
Also you don't need a costco membership to buy alcohol.

[Anonymous No.10182428]

>>10180997
Sounds like you got mineral deficiences from drinking, more precisely magnesiun/calcium one, look it up, better yet have your blood tested

[Anonymous No.10182431]

>>10182416
Never seen Kirkland vodka. When I google it it doesn't come up with anything off the bat besides images of it.

[Anonymous No.10182439]

>>10182431
try searching kirkland signature brand vodka. That's the technical name I guess. Every costco has it

[Anonymous No.10182448]

>>10182439
Oh it's only costco. I never been to one and they don't exist very close either

[Anonymous No.10182458]

>>10182448
Ah damn, Sorry man.

It's pretty good vodka, I like drinking it straight with 1 ice cube. Very refreshing

[Anonymous No.10182467]

>>10182431
https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/78mevb/why-costcos-vodka-may-be-your-best-bet

[Anonymous No.10182471]

>>10182412
I am not sad, and you are a moron. Not being able to be happy is not the same as sad. At least I am not drunk... I saved a kitty and I have the ability to hope for better eventually. I can NEVER drink. I know it. You will likely learn it too if you get lucky.

[Anonymous No.10182507]

How do i quit smoking while drunk? When i'm sober i never crave for a smoke. But when i'm drunk i smoke like half a pack in a night.

[Anonymous No.10182519]

>>10182507
I did the same thing until I realized I only smoked when I wanted to die sooner

[Anonymous No.10182522]

>>10182471
Are you autistic?

[Anonymous No.10182550]

>>10182522
No. I used to be a special needs teacher though. Why do you ask? Are you a judgmental fuckhead that mistakenly thinks they are funny?

[Anonymous No.10182614]

>>10182519
so you only wanted to die when you were drunk? i smoke because it feels satisfying to fill your lungs with smoke, the nicotine doesn't really affect me..

[Anonymous No.10182617]

>>10182614
It does affect you. You are a human.

[Anonymous No.10182637]

>>10182617
when i smoke sober i can't really feel the same satisfaction as compared to being drunk. i have only felt nicotine "high" when i tried snus and it was not a pleasant experience...

[Anonymous No.10182655]

>>10182637
If you smoke 10 or so cigs a day for a week and then just stop, the day you stop you will understand they do affect you profoundly. I am a heavy smoker. I would not say I get a buzz from them, but I know better than to say they do not affect me.

[Anonymous No.10182665]

>tfw have smoked/vaped for 24yrs, and used 21-50 cigs worth of nicotine via patch daily, as well as smoked/vaped 2oz of tobacco weekly, for last 17 years
I’m probably addicted by now

[Anonymous No.10182668]

>>10182665
>I’m probably addicted by now

There's a good test for this, try going without it and see how you feel

[Anonymous No.10182679]

currently drinking sour monkey.
fucking delicious.

[Anonymous No.10182697]

>>10182655
Different guy that you were talking to. I smoked cigs a lot in college, sometimes close to a pack a day, but when I stopped smoking them it wasn't hard for me and I don't know why. Cigs gave me a buzz sober and drunk, more comfortable drunk.
However I absolutely could not stop drinking on a dime, that has taken years to even get little stints of sobriety in.

[Anonymous No.10182724]

>>10182617
it doesn't have the same effect on me when i'm sober. i only smoke drunk because it actually gets me somewhat nicotine high i guess
>>10182655
when i'm sober i know i will have to buy another pack just in case i get drunk but i never smoke sober. so yes they do affect me

[Anonymous No.10182732]

>>10178725
>i dont get drunk from alcohol
the cringiest meme there is

[Anonymous No.10182741]

>>10182697
Try 2-3 packs a day. That's what i smoked.

[Anonymous No.10182796]

Greetings from /pol/.

STOP BEING DEGENERATE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE0VC-42_Qo

[Anonymous No.10182800]

>>10182796
Get out.

[Anonymous No.10182810]

>>10182800
It's for your own good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ1nlgIj7D0

[Anonymous No.10182815]

>>10182810
al/ck/ isn't for children.

[Eddie !!QzsVseG+8V9 No.10182831]

>>10182796
IMMA PUNCH YOUR THROAT CUNT

[Anonymous No.10182836]

>took 2 months of handles to the curb this morning
>happen to get to the curb right as the trash guy was pulling up to my house
>the look of concern on his face as I stood there with 2 see-through trashbags vodka handles at 9am

wew lads, That was awkward.....When the trash guy is looking at you with great concern...It's time to switch to black trashbags.

[Anonymous No.10182844]

>>10182796
Sieg heil meine/n Freund

[Anonymous No.10182862]

Just advice to a/ck/

Don't fuck around with peoples wives.


I used to have an affair with this married 43yo pharmacist from 22-25 and I deeply regret it. Her and I were never caught, But as an older more mature adult. I deeply regret fucking around with another mans wife. Think of it though the husbands perspective. You wouldn't want someone fucking around with your wife, Would you?


Don't do it guys. It's not a good idea


Still feel guilty about it to this day

[Anonymous No.10182863]

>tfw I actually have 6 beers left instead of just 4
Love little surprises like this.

[Anonymous No.10182870]

>>10182863
God is good

[Anonymous No.10182879]

>>10182862
Agree, but to be fair, when you're 43, if you have the chance to fuck a 22yo and feel confident you won't get caught, you'll do it. Know for damn sure I will.

[Anonymous No.10182913]

>>10182863
>thought I only had 1 beer left
>savored it when I got out of work
>turns out my gf put 3 more in the door of the fridge and I forgot when I was drunk
good times

[Anonymous No.10182921]

>>10182836
I always buy the trash guys hard eggnog and dunkins gift cards or some such for the holidays, they'll take pretty much anything I put out there and never give me strange rooms

[Anonymous No.10182923]

>>10182836
>drinking 1/4 of a garbage bag worth of liquor/week.

You're going to die like next week, son.

[Anonymous No.10182927]

>>10182923
I can only hope.


I drink 3 handles of vodka a week, That's not that much in reality.

[Anonymous No.10182943]

>>10182927
Math comes out to about 17 "drinks"/day. Guess it could be worse.

[Anonymous No.10182954]

>>10182927
I drank a handle a day at the end. You are on your way.

[Anonymous No.10182956]

>>10182943
I know 3 handles a week sounds like a ton though right? It's really not that much....I rarely get hammered drunk. I occasionally go up to 4 handles a week but that's rare. Vodka gets expensive at that rate


I drink mostly to "maintain". And not have a seizure or die

[Anonymous No.10183177]

>>10181455
this really doesnt seem to surprising, because you are literally fucking up your brain by drinking

[Anonymous No.10183188]

>>10182550
Yes, you do are autistic after all

[Anonymous No.10183333]

>know that i'm going to puke if i have another drink
>the bottle keeps beckoning to me

[Anonymous No.10183339]

>>10183188
You can just say sorry. Don't even try to reread your post. It will just hurt you.

[Anonymous No.10183341]

>>10183333
I haven't thrown up while drunk for years, it's when I'm sober that the vomiting is near constant

[Anonymous No.10183347]

>>10183341
i guess i'm not quite on your level then

[Anonymous No.10183387]

>>10183347
Dunno. I never get the 'room spinning' feel I used to when I was younger though, I seem to just lose consciousness before it hits

[Anonymous No.10183394]

>>10183387
i get the room spinning but i've never lost consciousness or memory

[Anonymous No.10183480]

>>10183339
I am a dickhead as much as you're autistic. And that means you probably are quite an insecure weirdo hahahaha your replies confirm this. we are the same shit.
a couple of looniez

[Anonymous No.10183482]

>>10179811
How the fuck do you survive? Living off the parents?

[Anonymous No.10183583]

>>10179076
Definitely be careful, my friend. As others have said, day drinking is the fast track to alcoholism. I went from getting drunk every night, so spending my whole weekends getting day drunk into the night, and then moved on to waking up and drinking a little to just ease the hangover. From there, it blossomed, slowly but surely, into NEEDING to drink in the morning and all throughout the day just to function.

As >>10179090 said, it becomes way too difficult to even maintain your normal life once you get to that point. You start missing out on all kinds of opportunities, and you hate yourself for it, so you just drink more to make you hate yourself a little less....this of course makes everything worse when you wake up the next day and realize how low you've sank.

[Anonymous No.10183610]

>>10183480
Nope. Sorry. You are alone.

[Anonymous No.10183663]

I think I made an even mixture of grievous errors and good progress the past week.
Although the more I remember from the last 3 days, the more I am leaning towards error.

[Anonymous No.10183701]

>>10183583
>Definitely be careful

I'm the guy you answered to. Nice to see the thread is still up. Appreciate the advice, man. I'm drunk again, but only started at 8 pm, as usual, after my day of work.

This Friday, coworkers are celebrating the end of a contract by doing a potluck and bringing wine, probably lots of it. I might just have a drink around noon or 1 pm. I gotta say I'm a little nervous, but at least no one there nows about my relationship with alcohol. I could just play the card of the shy guy who let his imagination run away with him and who didn't know better. Still, I really hope I don't blackout.

[Anonymous No.10183715]

>>10179997
>>10180003
>>10180008

Stop. It hurts.

[Anonymous No.10183751]

Remy Martin or Hennessy XO?
Also is Glenfiddich any good

[Anonymous No.10183762]

>>10183751
>Remy Martin or Hennessy XO?
No.
>Also is Glenfiddich any good
See above.
Absolutely hellish hangover fuel, all of them

[Anonymous No.10183771]

>>10183762
umm sweetie just because you're a light butt whose down for the count after 3 sips doesn't mean that a strong individual cant take it hun

[Anonymous No.10183784]

>>10183771
Oh dear. Is this your first visit to al/ck/ by any chance? Because that was savage newfaggotry, lol

[Anonymous No.10183806]

>>10183784
i'm just asking which XO to pick and if Glenfiddich is worth it dear,not asking for some unrelated tangent on hellish hangover

[Anonymous No.10183816]

>>10183806
Alcoholics don't drink that kind of stuff, ask in an alcohol thread, not an alcoholics thread. Plus you sound too young, angry and generally abrasive to be here.

[Anonymous No.10183827]

>>10178952

this nigga doesn't have a 1T external fulla dank animes. FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.10183828]

>>10183816
oh yeah this is the alcoholics thread.kinda missed that one over there
sorry for wasting your time sweetheart

[Anonymous No.10183830]

>>10179079

Are you me?

[Anonymous No.10183836]

>>10182353
Yeah this is horrible advice. 140 days is great and more than you could ever do. He should do even more, two, three, a thousand times as many. Anon never said once that they were miserable and I think you're just projecting and saying anyone who's sober must be miserable so you can justify your own inability to take control of your life.

(he said without knowing a single thing about you)

[Anonymous No.10183851]

it's snowing here in the pacific northwest, post some cozy music lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXu6q-6JKjA

[Anonymous No.10183860]

>>10179464

al/ck/ is here for you just as it was for me. I broke a 5 year shitstreak chitterchatting with these assholes and I remain better for it. Ganbarre, Agnon!

[Anonymous No.10183870]

>>10183836
140 days guy... almost 141. Misery loves company. I recognize it. I just hope he gets to the point he does too before he hurts someone or cannot remember what it is to hope. I may not remember how to be happy or feel in control, but I STILL have access to hope.

[Anonymous No.10183873]

>>10183827
I have 2 x 2tb filled with movies and porn which I've watched so many times that they're now unwatchable.
In fact near everything is unwatchable. Games are unplayable, TV is all shit, movies all bore me instantly... everything is dire when I'm sober.

[Anonymous No.10183879]

>>10183870
Yeah man if you got hope you got something. I keep cobbling together 3-4 day stints of sobriety and I know I need to really commit to it. Good job dude, I know it's not easy but keep at er. The alternative is never worth it.

[Anonymous No.10183883]

>>10183873
This does not change back. There is always going to be something missing as far as I can tell. This sucks, but it beats the hell out of withdrawls and shame.

[Anonymous No.10183896]

>>10183883
This has been my experience, yeah. I never want to go back to drinking. The boredom is fucking awful, but it's tolerable, I'm at least not suicidal five times a day.
With a bit of luck England's FUCKING stupid cannabis laws will change at some point, and everything will be fun again for a few years.

[Anonymous No.10183911]

>>10181442
I was at that level before - was awful. Wasted way too much of my life being wasted, or even just mildly buzzed trying to deaden my insecurities and problems. Things have been a lot better lately, and it's been a few years since I was at my worst, drinking a fifth of cheap plastic bottle vodka every single day. Fuck that lifestyle, I pray every day that I never go back to that.

[Anonymous No.10183936]

>>10183896
You are doing well and winning. Smile, even though it is fake. The difference between pretending to be something and being something is just time and effort.

[Anonymous No.10183985]

>>10183836
>>10182353
(me again, I'm sorry for saying 140 days is more than you could ever do. That's not true. We all have the potential to get better. Good luck doing you my dude)

[Anonymous No.10184104]

>>10178414
I know this is an alckie thread but I figure you guys are familiar with other drugs as well. Anyone else have experience with weed potentiating their cough medication? I took a mucinex earlier today with 60 mg DXM and had a small dose of Cannabis tincture a couple hours later and now my high is noticeably different from usual. Is it even possible for weed to potentiate the DXM that much or am I imagining it?

[Anonymous No.10184107]

>>10179344
How do you feel about it? Asking genuinely

[Anonymous No.10184150]

>>10179430
Hey man weren't you going on a date with some old friend from high school or college recently? Did that ever actually happen? I've been busy and haven't been on the threads lately so I might have missed it if you previously explained

[Anonymous No.10184195]

>>10182033
Just proving his point. Attractiveness is literally everything in this world. Smirnoffbro is a comatose druggie/alkie but still gets laid because of his looks. You fuckers need to accept this. Personality means nothing if you don't have the looks to back it up.
t. 24 year old alkie woman

[Anonymous No.10184214]

>>10184104
no my friend weed with any kind of psychedelic, or dissociative really kicks the shit in. Try maybe even smoking a bowl if you are really looking to challenge yourself, but just be warned it will definitely get more intense.

[Anonymous No.10184255]

>>10184214
Gave up smoking a month ago because I was tired of coughing up brown stuff. Turned all my weed into Tincture and I feel like I'm going through my supply 10x faster than when I was smoking. One of God's cruelest acts is making the most efficient method of ingesting THC also the most damaging to your body.

I'm still fucking coughing up brown stuff. Gotta see a pulmonologist.

[Anonymous No.10184267]

>>10184104
I remember how we used to steal cough syrup from the grocery store as if it were an intense mission to get fucked up, but i do believe the effects of dxm are interesting, but DPH fuck no. Nothing good happens with that shit, and if you ever take a large dose make sure there is someone around who will actually take care of you when you inevitably lose your shit.

[Anonymous No.10184311]

>>10184107
well, update, off the wagon, i shoplifted a sixer. i wouldn't have, but i was using my roommate's weed without asking to combat the WDs/cravings, and i felt like a shithead for it. decided i'd rather steal beer from a store than weed a friend. i'd like to spread it over at least two days.

that's my third time ever stealing, and my third time stealing alcohol. hmmm

[Anonymous No.10184320]

>>10184267
Ah man, that takes me back to highschool. My friends and I were responsible for all the local grocery/drug stores moving their Delsym stock behind the counter. Must've tripped on that stuff 20 times, but it was never as blissful and clean as the first 2 times felt. I'll always have a special place for it in my heart for popping my trip cherry but I have no desire to do it again when I now have access to Psilocybin and LSD. Last time I did DXM I took 1200 mg and spent the entire time dilated night on the couch wishing the double vision would go away. Best drug for music imo but the shitty body load just isn't worth it to me.

DPH can fuck right off. I've had more fun on a difficult salvia trip then DPH. Spiders up the ass and screaming at my hallucinatory dad for fucking the cat. No thanks.

[Anonymous No.10184326]

>>10184311
you just sound more, or less like a piece of shit, and using your addiction to justify stealing from a friend. i'd only hope you would associate with reasonable people

[Anonymous No.10184340]

>>10184326
well, yeah, hence my course of action.

[Anonymous No.10184344]

>just shat myself for the first time in my adult life

It was barely a bit, but I guess I should start eating on my benders to stop this

[Anonymous No.10184346]

>>10184320
I'm not sure why, but I feel like i know you.

[Anonymous No.10184356]

Jesus Christ, I feel like shit. I still feel drunk from yesterday but my stomach feels awful. Feel like I want to vomit which I haven't done since god knows when.
Didn't drink anymore than I usually do, why do I feel so shit?

[Anonymous No.10184361]

>switched from two six packs of 6% beers a night to a fifth of vodka
It begins.

[Anonymous No.10184368]

a whole new world!!!!! a new fantastic point of view!!! No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming.

[Anonymous No.10184371]

I can't stop watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8

[Anonymous No.10184379]

>>10178429
Just got back from a date with a total QT. I'm just borderline alck though, I'm still in school and get to class every day. I've had exes question me about my drinking in the past, but noone has ever specifically broken up with me about it.

[Anonymous No.10184384]

https://youtu.be/zZVm2MdSOnc

[Anonymous No.10184388]

>>10184320
tell me: i've taken shrooms, acid, 2C-B, and 2C-E as far as pyschs go. enjoyed them all, shrooms are my favorite. how is the dissociative experience of DXM similar/different? would you recommend it to me? main reason i haven't taken any is because it's so damn hard to find shit that's only DXM these days.

[Anonymous No.10184392]

>>10184379
If you are borderline stop at the border and turn the fuck around.

[Anonymous No.10184393]

>>10178429
Try to turn them into a drunk :^)

[Anonymous No.10184401]

>>10178429
If you compared what I looked like on a binge at home alone, to when I'm out on a date, you would not recognize me. I don't let people know I'm a drunk.

[Anonymous No.10184407]

Join our shitty IRC https://client00.chat.mibbit.com/?channel=%23al/ck/&server=irc.rizon.net

[Anonymous No.10184409]

>>10184401
That's my secret, im always drunk.

[Anonymous No.10184440]

>>10184401
ditto. i'm decently handsome and dress+clean up nicely when i'm not bumming around my house or 7-11. i don't betray my drunkenness to people i want to impress... at least not on the first occasion

[Anonymous No.10184444]

How do you feel about this?

[Anonymous No.10184457]

>>10184444
Relieved that I'm single.

[Anonymous No.10184461]

>>10184444
The picture doesn't make me feel anything.

[Anonymous No.10184468]

>>10178725

She just wanted to fug, dude.

[Anonymous No.10184470]

>>10184461
Q U A D S
U
A
D
S

[Anonymous No.10184474]

>>10184470
You're a bit drunk matey. The picture had quads.
>tfw the sight of four digits makes you lose it

[Anonymous No.10184488]

>>10184409

I heard a story on the radio on my drive to work last week that went something like:

>when i was a kid an uncle i almost never saw was coming to stay with us for the weekend
>my parents told me not to spend too much time around him, because - now that i'm older - they could tell me that he kind of has a drinking problem
>dad went out and bought three handles of jack daniel's (uncle was only staying for 2 nights)
>get together seemed to go well, uncle was friendly and sociable, and all three handles were empty at the end of the weekend, but i only saw him have a drink once or twice
>ask my mom, "what's the deal with uncle so and so? i never saw him drunk"
>mom puts her hand on my head and laughs, "honey, you never saw him sober"

Hit pretty close to home.

[Anonymous No.10184496]

>>10184488
Damn. Some people hide it well.

[Anonymous No.10184502]

>>10184488
I would take a huge dick in my ass everyday if I could find someone that drinks as much as me to hang out with

[Anonymous No.10184509]

>>10184502

Cool beans. I spend all my free time naked in bed already.

[Anonymous No.10184511]

>>10184488
I don't think my gf knows sober me. No one really does. What if I quit drinking, and she doesn't like sober me?

[Anonymous No.10184519]

>>10184511
Sober me isn't worth knowing, drunk me should be witnessed

[Anonymous No.10184521]

>>10184511
Yeah this is a real problem. I've had 'drinking buddy' gfs. As soon as the booze is gone we've got fuck all to do and realise we don't give a shit about eachother. In fact we barely knew eachother.

[Anonymous No.10184531]

>>10184519
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KlSuGNt8e4

[Anonymous No.10184538]

>>10184384
>That savage rape at 1:39

[Anonymous No.10184540]

>>10184531
what the fuck was that?

[Anonymous No.10184553]

>>10184531
You 're going places my friend

[Anonymous No.10184561]

>>10178429
I started drinking again because my ex of 3 years left me. While we were together I was happy enough not to drink most of the time.

[Anonymous No.10184562]

>>10184346
I get the sentiment but I know we don't. Wouldn't it be amazing to reconnect with an old friend on 4chan, though. Especially one you thought was a turbo normie. Being able to talk about old times without the disingenuousness of insecure highschool druggies. Never ever.

>>10184388
Wish I could tell you but comparing and contrasting highs is a bit too abstract for my fried brain to muster up anything useful. I guess I'll try anyways.

At typical doses, Tryptamines and phenylethamines can feel like upgrading your vision to 4K while overlaying your vision with beautiful kaleidoscopic patterns and turn sounds into liquid pleasure streaming into your ears from all directions. On LSD and Shrooms, you notice things you never saw before. You pick up on all these hidden universal patterns that are present in everything. If you're friendly with your own reflection, you will see yourself honestly and objectively, faults and everything, and you'll accept it. You can feel every individual cell in your body, the blood running through your veins, the air filling in every nook and cranny of your lungs and cascading out your mouth in a celebration of life. You move with the grace and fluidity of a dancer, effortlessly cutting through the air around you. You feel connected to the universe and eternity. You might get a sensation that everything suddenly makes sense, as if you caught a glimpse at the math equation that makes the simulation work. You'll dance and sing and play and laugh like a child in the garden of eden.

DXM is not like that. A light dose will feel like you're drunk and high at the same time but you're starting to lose track of your mental map and you can't seem to walk or talk normally. As you approach true tripping territory, you'll notice your vision start to slip away from you and some textures turn to ooze and drip down the walls. (1/?)

[Anonymous No.10184605]

>>10184562
Have you ever had a good feeling? One you've never ever ever ever have before, had a good feeling, yeah.

[Anonymous No.10184606]

>>10184311
>third time ever stealing, and my third time stealing alcohol.
ugh, won't be long until waking in a cell becomes part of the routine. going cold turkey behind bars is god-tier awfulness. just a room with a wooden 'bed', guards who won't even respond if you're screaming because you're losing your mind in withdrawal, a water fountain, a toilet with no toilet paper, camera watching you 24/7 and invariably at least one lunatic in a neighbouring cell losing the plot/generally trying to kill.

[Anonymous No.10184610]

>>10184562
Whereas LSD and Shrooms bring out beautiful sacred geometry, DXM is constantly assaulting you with a cacophony of random shapes, patterns, and colors which is made all the more disorienting by your increasingly unstable and now doubled vision. This (https://youtu.be/Dkk3YLb4QfE)) is a pretty good video to give you an impression of the "computerized" visuals it tends to produce. If you close your eyes at this point, prepare to be teleported into another universe that's so vivid you sometimes forget your eyes are even closed. Sounds becooooooome veeeeeeerrrrrry loooooooongggggg and deep and textured. Listening to music is like using an electron microscope. There's no gurgling and hissing like with LSD and Shrooms, instead there's a whirring, pulsing, chugging, and buzzing like an electric generator. Very fitting, because if you've taken a step at this point, you'll have realized that you've turned into a robot, awkwardly moving around with muscles you can no longer feel. Ever see one of those videos of an AI getting better at walking with each successive attempt? You're generation 40 or 50 compared to a sober 80. Be very careful when moving around because you can destroy your muscles without even realizing it by overexerting yourself. I once stood up from a crosslegged position without using my arms or twisting my trunk. Maybe I'm out of shape and not flexible but just fucking try that.

Sorry for the shitty formatting and grammar, I don't talk or post much. Kinda running out of steam here, any effects I didn't cover or that you want more details on?

[Anonymous No.10184619]

>>10184511

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz3d24gMHPU

[Anonymous No.10184623]

>>10184610
Get so drunk you can't type a coherent message. Took me about 2 minutes to type this.

[Anonymous No.10184627]

>>10184623
>Took me about 2 minutes to type this.
I hate this. Go to bed anon.

[Anonymous No.10184631]

>>10184388
>>10184562
>>10184610
Jesus christ that took forever and barely makes sense, I really am fucked. Just go to erowid and psychonaut wiki.

[Anonymous No.10184635]

>>10184627
I will as soon as I black out anon, be patient

[Anonymous No.10184650]

i want off this ride

[Anonymous No.10184651]

>>10184610

>if you've taken a step at this point, you'll have realized that you've turned into a robot

I did a LOT of dxm back in the day, and that feeling of walking around like a robot is the most spot on thing about your description. It's not really a high you can easily put into words, and isn't at all like most hallucinogens. To the anon who asked about it initially, all I can say is that 9/10 people I introduced it to (who had done plenty of other shit before) absolutely hated the experience, but I loved it, and always got a calming sense of clarity when I was coming down. When you're peaking you basically have waking dreams with your eyes still open, but it's not at all like with shrooms or the like. Pretty sure I fucked up my liver drinking cough syrup long before I became an alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.10184654]

>>10182655
I smoked about that much for 2 years in college. Quitting was much easier than quitting weed and alcohol. 4 weeks ago I bought a pack while drunk and ended up smoking for 2 weeks before quitting. I felt kinda shaky the first two days, but after that has been easy.

[Anonymous No.10184657]

>>10184631
actually made sense anon but im crossed as fuck and reading/watching that shit made me straight paranoid

only done shrooms so how is LSD different?

[Anonymous No.10184676]

>day 9
>6.38am, wide awake
omfg end me. even when i do sleep i wake every hour to unleash hell on my toilet again. i'm getting through like five grams of paracetamol and 2 grams of aspirin every day, cannot sleep for the life of me and i've got to wake up in under 4 hours to walk half a mile to my doctor. i wish i had a qt gf to complain to and do sex on.

[Anonymous No.10184718]

>>10178414

Just got up at 7:15AM, getting ready for university with a coffee baileys....

[Anonymous No.10184796]

>>10184195
I can’t imagine the shit I’d get into as a femalk. I’d spend my whole life forgetting who got me pregnant and being beaten up by angry grils whose bfs very much do remember why, I imagine.

[Anonymous No.10184799]

>>10184657
>how is LSD different?
Well for starters it's longer, has a smoother come up, sharper visuals, and is all around more stable than a mushroom trip. You're a lot more in control of yourself and connected to reality than mushrooms. While you're still prone to negative thought patterns, it's a lot easier to recognize when you're thought train is going off the rails and make a conscious decision to move to a new environment or change the music so as to re-ground yourself, as opposed to shrooms which tend to leave me in a state of confusion and emotional flux with the occasional bout of transcendent clarity. Acting sober and interacting with the normal world is easier but personally if I'm tripping I don't want my stream of thought to be interrupted or hijacked by the mundane world of sober people's lives.

I'm personally a bigger fan of LSD for its manageability, price, and duration.

[Anonymous No.10184811]

>>10184657
>>10184799
I have to say though, if you're looking to psychedelics for personal insight and growth, go with a heavy dose of shrooms. Shrooms don't let you run away from your problems so easily.

[Anonymous No.10184842]

I'm drunk so I'll use this as a notepad

new phone pin: 4891

[Anonymous No.10184864]

>>10184842

Thread is past bump limit, anon. Don't worry, I'll write it down for you. What's your number?

[Anonymous No.10184865]

>>10182913
i've felt legit like a kid on christmas when i found two years-expired beers under my dresser one time

[Anonymous No.10184977]

ABORT ABORT ABORT >>10184976

[Anonymous No.10185170]

You can do it boys I use to drink a 5th of Jim beam every day more on the weekends for 2 years when I was 20 to 22 but one day I just stopped. I still drink on the weekends 25 now it's pretty good waking up fresh in the morning to go to work ect. When I did stop I didn't even have withdrawals. But to be honest I didn't even know what withdrawals was untill I came to Al/CK/

[Anonymous No.10185192]

>>10185170

>you can do it
>i drank a little as a kid and am still a kid and don't know what i'm talking about aside from what i've read here

T-thanks...

[Anonymous No.10185370]

>>10184562
>>10184610
>>10184651
thanks for that, very informative. not sure if I'm more or less inclined to take it now, but it helps.

>>10184657
a good analogy i heard is that acid puts you in the driver's seat, whereas shrooms puts you in the passenger seat. i think that's generally true, and agrees with >>10184799's characterization. acid is more lucid overall. there are other distinguishing factors between the highs, though. shrooms feel more organic, both visually and mentally, and seem more emotionally-oriented. shrooms are also more sedating at high doses, whereas acid is energizing and spurs my desire to adventure. another thing i've read and agree with: acid is like a videogame, shrooms are like a movie. they're both worthwhile experiences. i also love microdosing shrooms,

[Anonymous No.10185384]

>>10185370
meant to end that with a period jfc

>>10185192
i dunno man, a fifth or more/day for 3 years is pretty substantial, assuming he's not a heavyweight and his recollection is accurate. al/ck/ loves to dick-measure their drinking, but that's unambiguously alcoholism. idk how he "stopped" and decided to just become a moderate drinker, but props for being able to do so.

[Anonymous No.10185389]

>>10185384
*2 years, jesus christ i'm drunk