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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10028949 No.10028949 [Reply] [Original]

>Recipe calls for red peppers
>Grocer only has green peppers

Post the most horrific recipe compromises you can imagine

>> No.10028966

>recipe calls for cream of tartar
>store only has tartar sauce

>> No.10028977

>recipe calls for szechuan peppercorn
>use black peppercorns

>> No.10028991

>recipe calls for white onion
>use yellow onion

Take me to the hospital

>> No.10028994

ketchup catsup

>> No.10028995

>"We only have Pepsi, is that okay?"

>> No.10028997

>stroganoff calls for smetana
>only have sour cream

>> No.10029002
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10029002

>>10028949
>recipe calls for kosher salt
>use table salt instead

>> No.10029003

>>10028949

stfu with your stupid shit, you're boring af

>> No.10029008

>spirit cooking calls for virgin blood
>only have smegma

>> No.10029009
File: 92 KB, 682x800, 1504586395441.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10029009

>>10029002
>shaker is filled with sea salt

>> No.10029010
File: 27 KB, 460x460, 999999-00068100011258_a1c1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10029010

"mascarpone"

>> No.10029034

>Recipe calls for nesquik
>only have raw organic cacao powder
>grow a beard and get an arm sleeve tattoo

>> No.10029038
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10029038

>>10028949
Recipe called for cornstarch
I figured psylium husk would be a good enough thickener.

>> No.10029056

>>10028977
The whole province of Sichuan just shuddered. Or it might have been an earthquake, who knows.

>> No.10029080
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10029080

>Recipe calls for onion
>use garlic

>> No.10029103

Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens, right?

>> No.10029111

>>10028949
>tfw grocery store sales ad has red bell peppers 2 for $3
Gee thanks for the hot deal.

>> No.10029118

>>10028949
I used slices of radish as a replacement for water chestnuts in a stir fry recipe once

>> No.10029124

>>10029103
You can get milk from chickens, they have breasts.

>> No.10029137

>recipe calls for red hot chilli peppers
>use vanilla ice instead

>> No.10029739

>>10029008
>demon asks for a virgins blood
>gets mad when I give him a 28 years old neckbeard I found on a Dungeons and Dragons gathering

>> No.10029752

>>10029739
Demons that don't specify the gender of the virgin blood they want are the worst.

>> No.10029810

>>10028966
I understand that reference.

>> No.10029835

>>10029034
lol muh man,el oh f'n el

>> No.10029884

>recipe calls for whole milk
>only have baby formula on hand

>> No.10029919
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10029919

>recipe calls for olive oil
>only have extra virgin olive oil

>> No.10029926

>>10029010
I laughed pretty hard at this

>> No.10029937

>>10028949
>recipe asks for kosher salt
>only have filthy goyim salt

>> No.10029944

>recipe calls for margarine
>use butter instead

M A D M A N
A this A
D M
M guy D
A A
N A M D A M

>> No.10029952
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10029952

>>10029034
>i only wanted chocolate milk

>> No.10030408

>>10029137
underrated

>> No.10030442

>>10028997
>stroganoff calls for smetana
>only have smegma

>> No.10030462

>replaced mint with mint sauce

That mojito did not quench my thirst at all.

>> No.10030470

>recipe calls for heavy cream
>mix 2% milk and butter

someone call the police

>> No.10030706

Only have fine salt, don’t have mortar and pestle to make extra extra fine salt. :^(

>> No.10030724

>got no milk for my coffee
>mix sour cream, water, and sugar

>> No.10030738
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10030738

>recipe calls a pinch of love
>use 1/2 tsp of insecurity

>> No.10030751

>use semisweet instead of bittersweet chocolate chips for cookies

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

>> No.10030796

>>10030470
>biscuit recipe lists buttermilk
>mix butter with milk
Biscuits came out like hardtack.

>> No.10030832

>>10030796
lmao add lemon juice to milk and let rest for 5 minutes if you want to substitute in buttermilk

>> No.10030856

>>10029919
Have sex with it.

>> No.10030859

>making steak au poivre
>use ground pepper instead of crushed peppercorns

everyone floats down here

>> No.10030864

>>10030832
buttermilk isn't just curdled milk. this is terrible advice.

>> No.10030893
File: 270 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20180123-222336.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10030893

>>10030864
>>10030832
>>10030796
It does the job buttermilk was intended for in most recipes, so what's the problem?
Here's some more

>> No.10030958
File: 7 KB, 276x183, 2017-05-12-16-03-06--2007724176.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10030958

>>10030832
>>10030893
>mfw redditors thought it was a serious post in a serious thread

>> No.10031018

>>10030738
*too autistic to hug you*

>> No.10031037

>>10030893
just buy buttermilk you poor faggots

>> No.10031053

>>10031037
I dont use buttermilk often enough to justify it rotting in my fridge

>> No.10031057
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10031057

>want to make spaghetti bolognese
>brown meat
>realize I have no spaghetti
>boil fusilli
>realize I have no bolognese spices
>end up baking the meat and noodles with loads of cheese

>> No.10031066

>>10031053
you are a terrible cook.

>> No.10031068

>>10031066
not everyone is from the south, anon

>> No.10031078
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10031078

>>10028949
At university I saw at least 3 people try to make sushi using boiled rown rice.
I also saw someone try to make risotto with a pre-cooked uncle bens pack of microwave rice.

They deserved what they ended up eating, I guess.

>> No.10031128

>>10030856
underrated

>> No.10031162
File: 28 KB, 540x405, 635884440756937384-Seinfeld-pix-larry-thomas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10031162

>>10029009
NO SALT FOR YOU!

>> No.10031179

>recipe is for frog's legs
>use dog's legs instead

>> No.10031193

>>10028949
>be making Kraft dinner...shits coming together quick, so I go to the fridge for some milk...
>nope...no milk, outa coffee cream too...have some week old choclate milk though, figure whats the worst that can happen...
>wrong...right into the trash, it's that bad...

>> No.10031194

>>10031066
You're a retard.

>> No.10031233

>lost in desert and getting really hungry
>eat the sand which is there

>> No.10031246

>recipe calls
>hang up

>> No.10031262

>>10031066
this. A good cook will make meals based on what's in his fridge so things never go bad.

>> No.10031289

>>10031193
I've been in that position before. Water and a lot of butter would have served you better.

>> No.10031325
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10031325

>>10031018

>> No.10031381

>>10031289
Yup...lesson learned...

>> No.10033143
File: 38 KB, 668x544, huffin' and a puffin'.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10033143

>recipe calls for red onion
>use purple onion

>> No.10033608

>recipe calls for pepper and salt
>Only have black pepper and kosher salt

>> No.10033618

>>10029919
should be just right for you, loser

>> No.10033693

>recipe calls for activated almonds
>only have deactivated almonds

>> No.10034661

>>10028949
Yellow pepper is the best tho

>> No.10034668

>recipe calls for steamed clams
>make steamed hams instead

>> No.10034673

>>10028949
>recipe calls for lemon juice
>only have lemon zest

>> No.10034676

>>10028949
They all taste the same bro.

>> No.10034742

>recipe calls for almond extract
>only have peppermint extract

>> No.10034867

>recipe calls for ribeye
>only have NY strip
It was a sad dinner

>> No.10035209

>>10034676
That's the joke senpai

>> No.10035230

>>10035209
>>10034676
But they dont tho
Are you 5d chess meming me?

>> No.10035529

>>10031193
Did that with cheddar tuna helper once. Still ate it.

>> No.10035637

>calls for a homemade coconut
>I can only buy them at the store