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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 200 KB, 1920x1080, john.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

W1iD6/ui Sun Jan 14 21:06:18 2018 No.9985413 [Reply] [Original]

*teleports behind you*

Helloooo this is chef john from foodwis-

*Dissapears*

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:07:46 2018 No.9985422 I reach into my pocket and find cayenne that wasn't there previously.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:10:33 2018 No.9985433 width

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:10:42 2018 No.9985434 in my fridge i find real parmesan cheese that i did not place there

>>	Just an italian girl Sun Jan 14 21:11:55 2018 No.9985442 I do not know him

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:13:11 2018 No.9985445 >>9985434 They don't even SELL real parmesan cheese at at my local grocery store.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:47:19 2018 No.9985586 no no i wont do the ol tappa tappa PLEASE NO NO TAPPA TAPPA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 21:58:12 2018 No.9985643 >>9985413 i suddenly feel really comfy

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:01:36 2018 No.9985658 >>9985413 because you ARE the 'Cold Steel'... of your oatmeal.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:03:49 2018 No.9985665 >>9985413 >be the boss of your sauce

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:04:33 2018 No.9985667 >>9985413 You are the Chef John of your Foodwishes.com

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:08:16 2018 No.9985681 >>9985413 I imagine chef john in a poorly fitting jesters outfit as seasons bland food with cayenne behind our backs without us noticing

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:10:00 2018 No.9985692 >make some scrambled eggs >look away >look back, cayenne on my eggs What the fuck?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:19:48 2018 No.9985742 File: 125 KB, 591x559, 1504190026045.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985681 >mfw the kitchen jester gave me the ol' tappa tappa

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:21:08 2018 No.9985748 File: 2.39 MB, 286x258, 1490401380350.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985422 >>9985434

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 22:53:11 2018 No.9985904 >>9985413 >hear a faint, "Enjoyyyyy" in the distance

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 23:34:15 2018 No.9986146 >>9985413 The back of my shirt is destroyed by fork scratches

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 23:36:19 2018 No.9986156 He HAS a (very) peculiar WAY of (talking).

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 23:50:32 2018 No.9986221 >>9986156 Watch his earlier videos and you'll hear that he's very monotone. Now he talks with weird inflections because people kept calling him boring but now people think he talks funny. You can't please everyone.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 23:55:54 2018 No.9986261 File: 58 KB, 565x547, 1515542740690.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985904 lel

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 14 23:57:37 2018 No.9986274 >>9985442 Leave

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:04:46 2018 No.9986314 File: 28 KB, 378x299, Ron_Jeremey-ron_cc_rdj.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Everyone relax, Ron Jeremy is in the house.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:05:21 2018 No.9986316 >>9985445 >>9985445 They sell that shit at walmart, you're probably looking in the wrong area.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:06:16 2018 No.9986323 This song plays faintly in the background https://youtu.be/LSNmpddzHLU

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:09:11 2018 No.9986343 >>9986323 >Hey Rich >Hey Mike

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:09:12 2018 No.9986344 >>9986323 That's repetitive bullshit. Whoever came up with that should be fired on the spot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:17:03 2018 No.9986385 >>9986323 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HdrGdzFJQo Hey

Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:19:37 2018 No.9986396
File: 35 KB, 765x758, germananon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9985413
"What the fuck was that?"
>Turn back around to see a note on the cutting board
"Time for the ol Choppa Choppa"
>I feel a gust of wind behind me along with a pungent smell of cayenne peppers
"John please......you don't have to do this......"
"Come on there buddy, realize my food wish, put cayenne on that steak, RIIIIIGHTTT NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW"
*Cries while Chef John puts his cayenne tipped cock into my asshole while he forces me to take a bite of his food wish*

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 00:24:47 2018 No.9986413 >>9986343 THAAAAAAATS RIGHT YOU HACK FRAUD

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:37:16 2018 No.9988139 File: 190 KB, 1073x1041, NICE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985413 teleports behind you with a 1971 Vietnam mre NICE Dissapears

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:41:41 2018 No.9988154 >You are afterall the colonel sanders of your chicken tenders what did he mean by this?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:42:29 2018 No.9988157 >the faint echo of "round the outside, round the outside" is barely audible in the distance

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:45:40 2018 No.9988163 >john is great >john is good >let us thank him for our food >we bow our heads >all is said >give us, lord, our daily bread

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:47:13 2018 No.9988168 >pray to chef john before cooking ritual >fond comes out perfectly every time >pray to chef john before cooking ritual >always enough fat when roasting meat >pray to chef john before cooking ritual >perfectly seasoned dishes every time

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 12:48:28 2018 No.9988171 >>9988139 >tfw Steve will never set you neatly on a tray >tfw Steve will never call you "NICE" >tfw Steve will never mention your smoothness

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 13:01:16 2018 No.9988213 File: 56 KB, 700x700, rs_600x600-170407101433-600.toy-story-mr-potato-head.4717.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985413 The resemblance is uncanny.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 13:14:08 2018 No.9988268 >>9988171 >tfw steve will never whisper NICE HISS on your ears >tfw you will never smoke 60 years old cigarettes with steve

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 13:33:05 2018 No.9988352 File: 87 KB, 600x454, Nothing personal.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985413 teleports behind you and slice you up like with his advance knife skills Psh, nothin personnel kid dissapears*

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:09:14 2018 No.9988484 >>9985413 why he fuck does everything he says sound like a question?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:24:25 2018 No.9988547 >>9988139 >>9988171 >>9988268 I want all Steve posters to leave

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:25:15 2018 No.9988552 I HATE THE WAY YOU TALK WHY DOES EVER SENTENCE END IN UPWARD INFLECTION

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:25:51 2018 No.9988555 >>9988352 >advance knife skills Don't make me post the WebM

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:28:30 2018 No.9988563 >>9988484 It doesn't. He has strange inflection but he doesn't uptalk.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 14:29:05 2018 No.9988569 File: 284 KB, 900x410, johnelette.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985413 Just made a dank french omlette for the first time. Thanks John. >>9988555 don't

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 15:56:01 2018 No.9988902 File: 116 KB, 498x315, fear.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9985586 >time to give it the olll' poka-poka

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 16:00:20 2018 No.9988919 >>9986323 >Playing some video on the background while I do something else >This song plays >What the hell, when did I open a tab with a food wishes video?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 16:02:02 2018 No.9988932 >>9988139 >Open my fridge >Everything inside spired 20 years ago >It smells almost unpleasant

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 16:02:14 2018 No.9988933 >>9988569 We should all thank Julia Child's family. S09 E18 - Julia Child, The French Chef - The Omelette Show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RoLavF2ZLU .

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 16:09:26 2018 No.9988978 >>9988932 Take one bite of a bread from 1945 >Okay that's rancid Take another bite >M'kay it's eatable Take a third bite >Nah, nevermind this is rancid Take a fourth bite >I take that back is alright Classic Steve

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 16:16:56 2018 No.9989011 >>9988978 Use a leftover chicken ramen flavor packet on that crusty shit bread. I have a bag full of them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 18:13:59 2018 No.9989536 File: 7 KB, 206x245, 1449895369922.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9988139 >glass clinking melody in the distance

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 19:54:14 2018 No.9990153 >>9988157 chk chk aww

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 20:42:18 2018 No.9990459 >>9985413 Made his sausage ragu last weekend. So fucking delicious.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 20:46:38 2018 No.9990490 is he the worst internet chef of all time?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 20:54:19 2018 No.9990534 >>9990490 If by worst chef, you mean possessing the biggest dong on the Western Seaboard, then yes. Yes he is.

>>	None !OPIATE9fy. Mon Jan 15 20:55:58 2018 No.9990544 >>9985413 his new za vid made me sympathize with deep dish savages

>>	None !OPIATE9fy. Mon Jan 15 20:57:36 2018 No.9990551 >>9988139 is this guy gay?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 21:14:04 2018 No.9990635 File: 299 KB, 602x448, EMGN-Skinner-9.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Finely watching some of his videos. I get it now

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 15 21:22:29 2018 No.9990668 >>9990551 you wish

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