/ck/ - Food & Cooking

When I was growing up my parents did this with steak. It was like eating rubber and always thought steak was overrated. First time I had a steak cooked medium was life changing.

>>9947744
my dad today
>calls for me across the house
>i cant even hear him
>he gets pissy
>maybe 3 times a year he decides to make dinner
>calls me to chop everything for him
>says 4 cloves of garlic along with all the other things he wants chopped: onions, celery, carrots.
>some shit red wine sauce for his salmon
why?
>gets it from some pbs shit
which isnt always a bad thing, but he gets excited when he sees anything with salmon
>i chop everything, including garlic
>yells he needed just garlic cloves
>fine, hell just do it himself or add it with the onions and shit
>i look in the trash 5 minutes later
>minced garlic thrown away
>he could have just saved them for tomorrow
>sauce smells like red wine
>he just keeps adding red wine after it reduces
>i know in about 30 minutes he will ask everyone 50 times over how is it and if we say anything but good, he will get pouty and say he wont make anything ever again
>which would be fine, if he wasnt a giant man baby
also he asked for 3 shallots all minced once and threw away just about all of it because he says he doesnt like shallots.

>>9947769
Rubber would've been great, but mom was fucking burning that shit. No one gets salmonella on her watch.
Also she never seasons anything. She says she doesn't like salty food.
Dad on the other hand drops a fistful of salt on his plate every time, but never BEFORE cooking, which is kinda funny I guess

>>9947808
edit, he did the salmon on the stovetop and it actually came out p good. salmon wasnt overdone and the skin was crispy

sauce was weak but he actually plated my dinner up himself because he knew i was kinda peeved so i guess it isnt all bad. i still hate him for cheating on my mom though

>>9948203
All parents cheat anon, don't let it get to you

>tfw never ate parents food and always cooked for myself if I wanted something
>tfw now that I'm older I've started cooking like my parents did
>lazy and with the cheapest shit available the worst combo

>>9948294
>All parents cheat anon, don't let it get to you
if thats the truth im going to shoot up a lot of people. filthy degenerates

>>9947744
Raised by grandparents but grandma always cooked the best southern breakfast and dinner. Sure its not good and I'm gonna die young but that shit was good. Baked beans with mixed pickles...

>parents buy expensive ingredients but literally just bake/grill meat with no seasonings and boil every vegetable

>return after living on my own as a conquering food hero

>cook every holiday meal when we're together and everyone is very grateful


you can't lose em all

>>9948546
good stuff

my grandma makes some simple chicken dinners but its always good. shame my mom never got that into refining her cooking.

>>9948519
Cheating is awful.
>degenerate
Poltard go back to yoyr containment board.

My moms cooking is usually fine except for her "stew".

I still don't know how she makes it exactly, but it's a stew with chunks of brisket, peas, corn, potatoes. But she always makes the broth/sauce with ketchup. It always comes out as this watery paprika-ish ketchup broth that no sauce or spice seems to fix.

I try to be nice and not hurt her feelings, but it's hard to lie that you like something. I tell her it's just not my favorite dish if hers and she gets butthurt about it even though I like everything else she makes. She says this is a family recipe used in past generations.

...Is stew supposed to be fucking made with ketchup?? I come from a Jewish family and my mom says this stew is the "kosher" style stew and doesn't use milk. Yet I've seen kosher stews that don't use fucking ketchup.

To me, the best tasting stew I've ever had was Guiness stew at my local Irish pub.

>>9948737
Also, she doesn't use any flour in her stew. She says flour isn't necessary.

>>9948737
>I come from a Jewish family
not to be alt right as fuck, but thats your problem. im sure she has the best intentions, but jew moms suck at cooking. sorry.

>>9948203
Let it go anon.

>>9948737
I'm so fucking baffled how do you cook with ketchup as an adult no less

>>9948783
>No.
he doesnt deserve that. he made my mom quit her job, quit college, work as a receptionist at his job, and suck up to him even when he hid all his money during the affair. he deserves shit

also he is a mouth breather so thats that

>>9948804
If you want to feel more triggered, my dad likes to put ketchup on steak.

>>9948872
Hey man that's whatever. I mean one thing is putting ketchup on shit, I can accept that. But cooking with it is just beyond me

>>9948755
Come taste my friend's mother's challah and you'll start seeing why his father ever married that whiny bitch

>Just before I moved in, my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't like beef or pork, and even chicken was iffy.
>Love cooking
>Come from a very German family where meat is the base of every meal.
>Wtf am I supposed to cook??
>"Will you try my food if I cook with those things? At least once?"
>"Of course, but no promises whether I'll like it or not. "
>Make a pork roast
>"Is this fully cooked? How is it so moist? "
>"Yup. I just didn't overcook it to shit dude."
>Turns out his mom kind of hates food/cooking
>Overcooks all meat to shit because paranoid about food poisoning.
>Now have pork, chicken, or beef with dinner every night
>He loves my cooking

tfw not white

>>9948917
What is it with mothers and overcooking? Also post dick

>>9948755
>jew moms suck at cooking. sorry.

It depends. My mom makes good chicken cutlets, chili and meatballs. It's just her stew that sucks.

My boyfriend comes from a Jewish family too, but I personally think his mom makes better dishes than mine. She came from a German Jewish family so shes cooks stuff like schnitzel, spätzle, etc.

I do think a lot of traditional Jewish food sucks though.

>>9948940
His or mine? Gonna have a problem with at least one of those.

>>9948900
I fucking love challah bread. Makes for the best french toast

I have no idea what my mom did for 8 hours a day when my brother and I were in school, because for someone with no job and dedicated cleaning days, she would wait EVERY DAY until AFTER she picked us up to run returns to the mall, get the car washed, pick out new curtains, grocery shop, etc, so I wouldn't even step foot in my house until 6pm.

Needless to say, there wasn't much cooking involved. The best food came from my grandmother who packaged everything in milk cartons or old butter containers. My dad COULD grill but he was always paranoid about undercooking anything and worked late 3 nights a week. I grew to only like fast food or shitty canned food because everything else was under-seasoned, overcooked, and I don't even know if I had beef, pork, or fish more than a handful of times a year. They never roasted vegetables.I The only "trends" that caught on in my house were baking, marinades for chicken (thank god), and the one year my dad was obsessed with his bread maker. It's amazing I didn't get diabetes with my sugary cake breakfasts, fast food, and regular kid snacking.

>"Pepsi or Milk to Drink?"
That's to drink for dinner, every day,

My SO's mom can cook, but hates it, and usually spaces out during the entire process so her food is inconsistent, and since she diets, we would get like 1/4 of the portion you'd have the appetite for.

I don't know what it is about Baby Boomer Mom's, as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.

>>9948917
Eating lots of meat is not a good thing. Not for you and not for the rest of us. You made a poor choice.

I started cooking at about 14 because of the unbelievably awful standard of cooking in my house. I once witnessed my mom cook chicken in water. No not poached, she took a pyrex dish, put a boneless, skinless chicken breast in, pour a bit of water in and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. No seasoning, no nothing.

I love my parents, but my mom was not a good cook. She bought pre-made food you just put in the oven, would make everything bland on purpose so "the person eating it can season themselves", make generic food smothered in cheese and oil, etc.

I'm not even as extravagant of a cook, but I mastered spices when I was a vegetarian for a few years. I make simple things that are seasoned well, not overcooked, not tasteless bread smothered in oil and cheese, etc.

The more I think about it, it's probably just because my parents were so busy all the time. I can't blame them.

>>9947744
You reckon that's bad, my mum used to boil steak. Fuck sakes anons. Who version of cooking was chuck something in the pan, on high, and come back one the house feeling up with smoke reminded her she was cooking. Happened all the time. Wasn't until i cooked some steak at a friends place and his brother while watching me was like "who the fuck taught you how to cook steak". My journey started from there.

>>9949351
.....I've read a lot of things over the years but this is so baffling.

My mom turns meat dry in the crockpot somehow

>Mom made beef stew
>Its just potatoes, onions, carrots, and chunks of beef
>Doesn't taste like anything
>Isn't this so good anon? New york times has the best recipes!
>Have to listen to her crack her jaw and chew with her gob open for 30 minutes
>Nothing has any taste at all, its just like eating plain boiled veggies
>Except the beef, which somehow tastes like it was burnt without any kind of crust forming
Every time with that woman. Swear to god she panics if she so much as sees an herb.

>>9949277
Oh well. :)

>this thread

I know taste is subjective, but I will never understand how some parents or some people in general, think cooking like this tastes good.

>grew up on hotdogs/hamburgers/pasta
>'finish everything on your plate' household
>brothers are all fat as shit, one 300 the other almost 500
>im the black sheep because I'm 160 and do all own cooking instead of buying frozen or processed or fastfood
On thanksgiving I made a lovely tossed romane heart salad and a side of roasted broccoli and califlower which they fucking loved but couldn't understand the concept of portions.
>anon that was really good but next time put more salt on it and make 3x as much!

Not my own parents but my sister and brother-in-law don't cook. They constantly only eat take out, fast food or prepackaged meals because they both work and cooking "takes too long".

Both my nephews are picky eaters. One is 18 and the other is 11. The 18 year old is not so bad, but still eats kinda crappy. Like not having lettuce or tomato on a burger. The 11 year old however, is the pickiest fucking eater ever.

Today, the family went to Millers Ale House, which for anyone not familiar with it, it's s chain restaurant similiar to Friday's, Applebees, etc. The 11 year old only wanted a plain chicken sandwich with nothing on it.
My mom asks my sister "why is he such a picky eater?"
My sister and brother-in-law said "he just is"

Both my mom and I think it's just their shitty parenting habits. Like this kid is so picky, he won't touch any vegetable. He won't drink milk unless it's a milkshake. He doesn't like peanut butter. He doesn't like "crunchy" cookies, only the chewy chips ahoy style cookies. I'm surprised the kid isn't obese, but maybe it's because he barely eats anything. I'm just worried these habits will go into adulthood.

>>9949483
I don't think it matters much to them, as long as the food is on the table. My family cooked like poor people and never took interest in improving until recently.

My pet peeve now is my dad will try something new, enjoy it, but anything that's fresh, has an ingredient he hasn't heard of, or is made by someone under the age of 50 is "Hipster".

"Yeah, they serve next to a place that roasts their own coffee. Very hipster". I took him to a breakfast place that serves regular, good breakfast items, seasonal pancakes, french toast, omlettes, but the girl that took our order had a nose piercing and there was limited seating. "Hipster". Won't go back without me. To his credit, he'll try almost anything but I don't know why he needs to proclaim this.

>>9949545
500 pounds?

>>9949549
i never understand this

>>9949580
Well I like to think everyone exaggerates.

>>9949549
>>9949588
I was like that as a kid because I hated the textures, it was never about the taste for me.

>>9949545
God I hate fat people.

I love my dad, and I don't know if it's because he's retired and bored, but he has an obsession with food. He thinks normal portions are "child portions". He's not morbidly obese but he's got a big belly and is a diabetic who takes 3 shots of insulin a day. We can't buy a bag of cookies for the house because he'll end up eating the whole bag. He gets defensive and says he doesn't eat that many cookies, but he doesn't realize that eating one cookie in the morning and one in the afternoon every day will empty the bag very quickly. It's like he's not aware how many times he snacks.

Meanwhile my mom is the opposite. She's actually lost almost 40 pounds because she changed her eating habits. But my dad is just so embarrasing at this point. If we go to a restaurant, he'll finish his meal. If anyone has a little bit of food leftover on their plate, he'll ask if he could eat it. He can't see food wasted.
He'll also constantly push food on us if we're not hungry.
>"do you want any chicken?"
>"no thanks Dad, we just came back from a big dinner"
>"Are you sure? There's plenty here"
>"yes I'm surr. Thank you but we're not hungry"
>15 minutes pass
>"Are you sure you don't want any chicken"
>at this point I feel like screaming
>"YES I'M SURE"

>>9949609
Yeah but at least you grew out of it. My older nephew, who is now 18, I think still won't eat ice cream. When he was younger, he wouldn't eat it because it was "too cold" and it would "hurt his teeth".
He would also get paranoid about any seasoning on his food. When we'd go to a restaurant, he would examine his mac n' cheese very closely and ask "what are these tiny black dots?" and then be afraid to eat it. The tiny black dots were just black pepper.

>>9949654
>"too cold" and it would "hurt his teeth".
You know this is a real thing right? If someone says something hurts them don't roll your eyes and call them a bitch, you jackass.
>examining tiny black dots in his food
A clear sign that the kid is not an idiot.

Now I have a friend who doesn't like mustard because as a kid he thought it was 'mouse-turd'. THAT is dumb.

>>9949662
>A clear sign that the kid is not an idiot.

I know he's not an idiot, but it's still a rude thing to do.

>mom would always overcook chicken until it was absurdly dry
>dad praised the food no matter what even if it was obviously bad or if there were apparent flaws

why???????????????????

>>9949374
>the person eating it can season themselves
This pisses me off the most. It's kinda true but goddamn. That doesn't mean the food has to be tasteless.
Dad even says that salt absorbs the juices so you never should salt meat before cooking. Which is right, but you don't eat it straight out of the pan for fuck's sakes dad.

>>9947744
I had a similar experience with salmon, mom would always take salmon fillets, season them ONLY with black pepper and bake them for way too long. Not until recently when I started cooking salmon myself have I started liking it again.

>>9949740
Maybe he ate ants once and doesn't want that to happen again.

>>9949753
Love is a hell of a drug

>>9949740
It's rude to inspect your food at a fucking fastfood tier chain restaurant which I assume is chillies or applebees? WDHMBT?

This didn't happen with my Mum or Dad but my best friend of 17 years was a fucking damn terrible cook because when he was young he would only eat what he wants and his mum wouldn't give him anything he wouldn't eat so he basicly lived of off fried chicken, grilled cheese sandwichs and any chocolates and cakes from the store. Like when we use to be room mates he nearly set fire to the apartment flat once as he didn't know how to cook bacon on a oven grill and was to embarrassed to ask how.

>>9949809
they did NOT love each other

honesty is an important part of a relationship

I almost died twice as a kid while eating my friend's parents cookings. Their mother did the cooking and everything was overcooked and unseasoned. One time when I was there for sleepover I had a chance to eat their home made meals to find out why my friend didn't like it at all and instead consumed school lunches and juck food rather than his mother's cookings.
This one time they had unseasoned and overcooked pork chops with neutralized vegetables. I still don't know to this day how she managed to overcook the vegetables by boiling them to that point, where they lost all texture, flavour and colour. When I was eating some mixed vegetables, I couldn't even recognize the flavour and I would just describe it was "vegetably". Thus why neutralized.

Don't even get me started on those saharan dry pork chops which nearly killed me twice. First time I tasted them, I sort of accidentally complained about them being dry and unseasoned as I rubbed my throat. The next bite in my mouth sucked all the moisture and spit as I swalloed it. As I reached for third bite, my throat was already dry like a whore's pussy so as I swalloed it, that pork took all moisture in my throat before getting stucked and lodged there.

I tried to wave my hands at my throat to imply that I'm about to fucking choke and die just to hear ranting from the mother about how uncooked pork kills, causes diseases and how seasoning something makes it unhealthy. I started to lose conciousness and heard my face was going blue. I dropped to the ground and the father rushed to me and saved my life by using the Heimlich Maneuver. That pork just ejected from my mouth and I rushed to the sink to grab water as I felt like I haven't had liquid for days.

Next day we were watching movie on the couch and the mother would make chicken sandwich, which was just two pieces of bread and overcooked & unseasoned chicken breast between. I took few bites before almost choking to death and yet again dad rushed to save me.

>>9949740
>it's rude to look before you leap
RIP human race.

>>9949628
Not to get all armchair psychologist, but did he grow up poor or with otherwise inconsistent access to food?

>>9947744
My mom was a horrible cook before my parents divorced but she learned quickly. Still, when she remarried and our family grew her cooking did get lazier (as in, just throw shit in the oven to bake) but it was still palatable albeit sometimes bland/dry meats..

Dad was always a top cook though, some of the fondest food related memories from my childhood was my dad's pork wok and his 10/10 scrambled eggs he'd make every weekend.

My mother-in-law is the laziest cooks I know, lazy in general, I would say. I have no idea how my girlfriend is so active around the house with a mother like this, maybe by necessity.

>oily ground beef erryday
>dry cornmeal couscous erryday
>oversalts everything she touches
>kitchen is always DISGUSTING and completely disorganized
>pays some girl to do a half-assed job of cleaning it every weekend (it goes back to being filthy in 3 days tops)
Now get ready
>she prepares chicken and steak by dumping half a bottle of soybean oil on a pan, throwing the pieces inside and frying them until they are as well done as it gets
>serves them in a glass bowl almost floating in oil

You get a piece and it will have a full, thick coat of oil, always dripping. Whenever I have to eat there, I always say that me and my girlfriend will make her a meal as a gift so she won't get near the kitchen.

>>9950063
Is she a lawyer or doctor? What the fuck

>>9950078
They have a Mart, but she has no excuses to be like this, since my father-in-law does 90% of the work.

>>9947744
>>No matter what dad cooks, he always adds tons of lard to "give it flavor"
same, but replace lard with red wine

>Mom hates coffee
>Dad hates proper coffee, only drinks the cheapest instant coffee, and easily 6-7 cups a day
>Grow up thinking I hate coffee, since I hated the shit we had at home
>try some real nice coffee at a coffeehouse
wtf i love coffee now

>mom makes homemade square pizza
>peanuts, banana, chicken, curry

>>9948519
Might not want to say that here

Inb4
>only a fool yada yada

>>9948638
Not op but fuck right off. Cheating in marriage is a breach of contract and is therefore “degenerate” regardless of what board on this nepalese goat trading forum you call home. Faggot

>>9948950
That’s awfully ambiguous. You have a dick don’t you

>>9950324
You dont own the other person.

>>9950315
He'll shoot you too

>live with single mother
>dependent on drugs and alcohol for past 6 years
>life spirals out of control
>dates abusive bad boys
>brings random men to house
>gets drunk and wasted (complains about not having money)
>starts cooking random shit at midnight

>crumbs on the floor
>food left out
>food left all over pans and utensils
>glasses left out with alcohol left in them
>burnt plastic on still hot burners
>food containers left out and open
Wakes up and pretends nothing happened. Doesn't even leave any for me.

>>9950347
Chances are you are the reason your mother is like that.

>>9947808
Wow dude thats shitty

>>9948737
>I come from a Jewish family
Serves you right

>>9950324
>being this buttmad over being a Poltard
>to stupid to read I was a against cheating.
Another poltard...

Mom used to make "granny tacos" as she called them. They were burritos. Wraps, actually, she doesn't know how to roll a burrito. Unmelted cheese and lukewarm beans inside a cold tortilla. If everyone didn't pretend it was amazing she would have a meltdown. I think she's fucking borderline.

>>9950363
I'm not a sadist and I'm not here to make you feel better about being an asshole, try someone else, friend.
I'm dope as shit and have been busting my ass off trying to get out of this woman's clutches for years. It all gets wore when I come home from uni, and she breaks down every time someone leaves her life. And deep down she knows I'm the only fucker in this world who can even remotely handle her stupid shit.

>>9947744
My mom cooks very little for me for as long as i can remember. She would eat taco bell, and taco mayo and a place called taco tico routinely, at the time i was ok with it loved tacos ect. She also ate mcdonalds alot sometimes some sonic. Basically i was raised on fast food. When my mom did cook it was either simple mac and cheese, or pork chops. Thats it.... Looking back now i see why people hate socialism and single moms, they get benefits, ruin their finances, dont know how to cook or take responsibility ect. My mom literally complains and nags every day, about trivial shit, makes me want to see a third world war just to shake her out of her rat race routine. The bitch complains about work, and working all the time excessive hours, yet she works overtime. Idk but single moms, and single women in general seem to be cancer.

I literally keep a stock of minced garlic, i buy onions, i have every spice imaginable, i have 7 different types of oil. And i take pride in cooking, i may not be perfect i cook for myself and 3 people atleast 4 times a week or more. But i do cook good, people are impressed, im the best in a multi-generational extended family, im the guy they come to for thanksgiving no thanks to my mother or socialism.

>>9948931
So your parents never cooked? Not a reason to brag.

>>9950346
Ownership is irrelevant. See
>contract

Cheating is fine if you are okay with divorce imo

>>9950379
Got me.

>>9950394
She made sure you were fed enough to be here today to talk shit about her, you fucking ungrateful piece of garbage.

>>9950394
I feel you bro. Same on just about every fucking level, except both sides of my family is lost in the first world and can't relate to anything outside of their own circle of attentions and I don't fucking talk to about 99% of them and could care less about doing so.
Mother eats out almost every day and cooks random bullshit concoctions like she's pregnant. I'm cooking meals I take massive amounts of pride in with massive amounts of effort given.
>Mom, can I have some money to get us some food
>"Money's tight right now..."
>What did you eat today?
>"I went out to eat with a friend."
>mfw

>>9950385
Good possibility by the sound of it

>>9950346
Not the same guy, cant control anyone, but do you have any morals? Cheating is "degenerate" when married you are basically agreeing to a contract, to cheat is shitty. Just get a fucking divorce ffs

>>9950428
It's our life, high horse.

>>9950394
go back to /r9k/

>>9948917
>british girlfriend
>she has the same aversion to loads of things as a result of british "cooking" methods
>is always amazed at how flavorful and moist everything I cook is (even though I'm average at best and just follow recipes and use a cooking thermometer)
We went to her house for Christmas dinner and the kitchen was something else. No seasonings besides salt, pepper, and pre-made steak seasoning. The freezers were absolutely stuffed to the brim with ready-made garbage. Fridge was full of macro brews. They're nice folks but they don't have the strongest cooking tradition it seems.

>>9950428
No.. gainfully employed taxpayers did

>>9950432
>Mom, can I have some money to get us some food
>>"Money's tight right now..."
>>What did you eat today?
>>"I went out to eat with a friend."
>>mfw

Get a fucking job then. don't bitch about her not giving you money.

>>9949549
aversion to certain foods and specifically food textures is a symptom/sign of autism

My mother was a mediocre cook despite never actually working until I was about 13 and she only ever started working because she was bored.
I have no idea what she did all day.
My father never cooked until they divorced at which point it turned out he actually was a very good cook although I assume he learned that skill purely to help him pick up women.

>>9950432
Almost the same
I quit working and became a neet around 2014-15 range, when i discovered basically everyone but me got socialism, and welfare. I also found out i would owe in penalties for Obamacare ect, so i quit my job, wife and i moved into parents land out in the country, I get a nice mobile home move in get /comfy/. I cook for everyone, no one is capable of cooking, mom cant really cook , grandpa is too old and was a trucker/retiree that always ate out or home cooked meals. Wife's parents are leftists hippies that never taught her to cook. So i learnt, i cook everything from German/Hungarian cuisine, to Italian, greek, Indian and Thai food, can even cook Chinese. Using raw ingredients, starting to make my own sushi, and learn about my white ancestors cuisine. My mom is like a child compared to me its fucking sad.

>>9950433
She was always great at destroying potential hahaha

>>9948900
Making challah is how my wife and I met. It's good stuff even without the memories.

>>9950473
I kind of want a borderline girl for a wife so she will cling relentlessly to me and this I do t have to worry about her branch swinging. But that facet of the disorder troubles me and gives me pause.

>>9949906
Possibly. His father died when he was 12 and his mother was mentally ill from what I've heard. My dad gtfo as soon as he turned 18 and joined the army. He's a Vietnam veteran and also a former FDNY fire captain. He's gone thru some shit.

>>9947744
My parents made sandwiches with shittons of mayonnaise growing up. I still hate mayo to this day.

>>9950446
So you think its ok to eat fast food literally every day not once but 2-3 times a day from ages 9-14 is ok, i didnt include she lived like a damn hoarder, and had mcdonalds cups and nats covering every surface in the household. I moved into grandparents house at age 14-15 or so.

>Boiled broccoli
>chicken that's been baked without any seasoning whatsoever

thanks, mom.....

>>9950451
I do have a job, and I buy enough food to support myself and two others. I walk two miles, to the store and back, sometimes carrying 30lbs of food and beverage so that I can eat.
She makes enough to support a family of 4, but can't be bothered to buy food at the store. So when I try helping her to save money and make real food, she can't afford it. But she'll end up probably eating out twice tomorrow nonetheless.

>>9950470
Word player pimp.

>>9950295
Yup.

>My parents got a keurig. They go to flea markets a lot and always get the keurig cups super cheap so they never run out.

>Used to work in Manhattan so I turned into a big coffee snob. I have a French press, a moka pot and a minipresso since I'm too poor to get an espresso machine and don't have a lot of space in the kitchen.
>Mom stuffs the cabinet full of her shitty keurig cups and complains that my coffee tools take up space.
>she also has bags of coffee she's hoarded over the years and hasn't tossed because she still uses the regular coffee maker sonetimes and that "coffee never expires"

Coffee may not expire, but it loses its taste and freshness. My parents think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>>9950432
Dude, start earning your own income.

>>9950376
I didn't ask to be born in this family anon.

I'm pretty much agnostic though.

>>9950502
*nevertheless

>>9947744
>be me
>grow up neglected
>lucky if there’s a can of some old vegetable I can eat

Parents cooking is the worst

My parents have always been pretty good cooks, if a little Midwestern. My mom did most of the cooking when I was younger because she stayed at home with us and my dad worked about 45 minutes way. She'd normally do chicken marinades or pasta or stuff in the slow cooker with lots of veggies. She would make her own pizza and even snacks like banana chips so we wouldn't eat a bunch of potato chips.
My dad has been pretty adventurous since he retired, trying out a lot of ethnic foods and such. He got fed up with paying too much for Indian food, and started making better tikka masala than any Indian place in town. He loves making jambalya.
The only bad cooking thing with family is a Thanksgiving several years ago.
>two family members died in the past year
>everyone has health on their mind and is paranoid about it
>even though they died at 82 and 93 respectively
>low sodium, fat-free, low sugar everything
>rolls taste like cardboard, served with margarine
>turkey was seasoned but dry and kinda flavorless
>low sugar cranberry sauce
>all veggies are boiled
>deserts all taste like Splenda or whatever
>my mom's broccoli salad and mac and cheese are the only things with flavor
Everybody has come back to their senses now.

>>9947744
mom overcooks shit all the time and never learns from it, so painful

>>9947823
Fuck, are your parents my parents? I thought meat was meant to be dry and crispy until I was 15-16, and seasoning was for after cooking only.

>>9949351
>>9949394
sounds like a /fit/ dish tho

>>9949835
kek based dad

>>9947744
>mom would make all of steaks well done
>mom would make our burgers 2 inches thick (and well done)
>mom would make our thanksgiving turkey so fucking dry your teeth would stick together when you tried to chew (gravy didn't help at all)

I still love her to death but God damn the cunt can't cook meat for shit

neither of my parents can handle any spice whatsoever

>>9947744
>Tfw my mom can't cook beans and meat for shit and my dad cooks well but is on that vegan shit lowkey. Pic related mfw I'm faced with the prospect with living with my mom for another year.

My mom used to make the best chicken sandwiches for me. Mustard, iceberg, tomato, crispy bread. Then i tried her morning star stuff like the veggie meat, soy chicken nuggets etc...for years i was downing soy before i learned how bad it was. Moms spaghetti could never be beat, always a barilla pasta and some amazing sauce, i think she got it at costco but i cant remember it since i havent seen it in years. Im sure everyone has had "cereal/waffle" nights as well. Dad never cooked, dumb faggot would give the dog half his food and snacks and then say hes hungry again in an hour. We would get fast food once a week, we usually got a dominos or little caesers pizza because it was affordable.

Overall id say my food as a kid was pretty good, besides the soy incident that lasted to long.

>>9948737
Tell her that families and cultures innovate overtime and now that passata of good Italian tomatoes is available to you that would be a nice substitute and your generations own unique touch.

>>9950427
Sho sho poltard

>>9950778
learn to cook sweety

My dad used to be a French cook. So he’s pretty good and I grew up with nice food. My only issue with him is that his presentation is utter shit and he knows how to make classic French food looks like utter shit. Just randomly tosses food in.
My mom cooking is influenced a lot by my dad. Heck, she even learned how to cook from him. She’s not very technical though, she’s only good at imitating. Only issue with her is the fucking quantity. She’s from an ex-commie country so she grew up without much food and she always has the fear of going hungry. She would make 4-5 dishes just for the 3 of us. No wonder I was a fat fuck when I was a kid. Lost all the weight once I went to college.
I am the one who cooks for them now and they are happy that way.

>>9948546
>grandma makes godly rican food
>mom can't even cook frozen pizzas right
why are grandmas so based?

>>9950888
Not gonna happen. This /pol/ack is also an avid home cook and lover of fine food. We are just going to have to put up with each other.

>>9947744
When my dad lived by himself, a meal with him would typically be one of the following
>gloppy kraft mac n cheese with black peper on it to make it edible
>oatmeal that he made so thin, it was basically oats floating in warm milk
>stale honeycomb cereal in skim milk, because he only ever bought skim milk
>chicken tendies with bbq sauce
I now have deep nostalgia for all these food items. Especially the stale honeycombs in skim milk, genuinely the best way to eat that cereal.

>>9948737
> Jewish.
Grrrrr!!!!

>>9948917
> Woman.
Grrrrrr!!!!!

>>9949549
How about you tell your whore mother to shut the fuck up, not your business.
If you cared you wouldn't sound passive agressive, yet instead you would be on the phone with them directly. Dumbass.

>>9949628
Please go back to rddit.
Thnx

>>9949740
Lemme not examine the bullet I'm gonna eat later.

>>9949740
Were you molested as a child?

>>9950779
>afraid of soy
>loves Mom's spaghetti which was boxed pasta and costco sauce

have you ever left your town?

>>9951210
>HOW DARE SOMEBODY CARE ABOUT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN
Retard.

>>9949835
R u dumb?

>>9950346
Kys.

>>9950779
Are you a soyboy now?

>>9950428
> Has kid
> Muh be grateful im subjecting u to a life u didnt choose.
Kys loser.

>>9949628
Dude your dad eats 2 cookies a day, get off his fucking back

>>9951158
Just keep all fedoras out of the kitchen please. :)

>>9951240
You sound like a loser. Don't vent about your stupid family on my board, do something about it.

>>9951256
Yeah, I'm a soyboy.
> * cheeks turn rosey color.

>>9949205
>as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.
confirming. sauce: child of a boomer

>>9950729
This is the first year I've been able to afford a turkey to cook it myself since moving out of home. MFW I didn't know that turkey could actually BE so moist and flavourful

>>9947769
I watched my dad cook steak once after learning how to cook it properly and he sliced through it while it was on the grill to "let the blood out" (his words). I almost had a mental breakdown

>>9950363
>le single parents hate their kids meme
I bet both of yours hate you faggot.

>>9951258
>I DIDNT ASK TO BE BORN
you make the best of what you have, you piece of trash.

>>9950363
>irresponsible people aren't totally awful at preventing their pregnancy

imagine how many parents would abandon their kids if the biological and legal effects weren't in place, it's more of a financial and existential burden nowadays instead of fulfillment like western tradition promised.

>>9950388
good on you anon, we don't get to pick where we come from but we get to choose where we end up

>>9951735
You sound like a jew loving yes man.
Yes sir, no sir.
I can climb to the top with my spaghetti rope!
You don't ever except things for what they are you limp body. Litter the planet with your seed and tell the child you had with a poor nigress that he is the one who must carry the burden you bestowed upon him, a soul free of conditions before his damnation to earth.
Feel free to be mad you mobile sperm injector.
Your kind dies off first.

>>9947744
>Spaghetti night.
>Mom always leaves pasta in the pot to be scooped out as needed. Not drained.

This of course causes marinara sauce to lose cohesion immediately and turn into pink water.

Must be a thing elsewhere because at least in the late 90's Sbarro did this too causing their spaghetti to fucking suck.

>>9949205
>I don't know what it is about Baby Boomer Mom's, as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.
Oh fuck

>>9951791
and you sound like a bitchy know-it-all teen who thinks he knows everything about the world and thinks he can "fight the system". You learn from example and make the best out of a shit situation and dont make the same mistakes that your parents did.

>>9948519
Edge

>>9947744
Be thankful you had parent who cooked for you - you ungrateful fuck.

>>9951996
parents*

>>9947744
my mom frequently made steak, and every time would burn the shit out of it. it was so stringy and tasteless, i couldn't eat it. i didn't have a properly cooked steak until i was like 13. i still don't really like steak.

>>9948755
>jew moms suck at cooking
You are objectively incorrect.

>>9947744
cold cuts and boiled taters

>>9951791
Lmao what a faggot. Take your own advice and kill yourself if you hate life so much.

>>9949835
you're a little pussy dude

>>9950502
>I walk two miles, to the store and back, sometimes carrying 30lbs of food and beverage so that I can eat.
Lying on the internet? Shame.

>>9948917
>woman
Grrrrrr!!!

>>9951261
>he thinks eating 2 cookies a day is normal and ok

Typical Amerifat

>>9952115
>not eating at least 6 cookies a day
never gonna make it

>>9950428
mom, stop posting on 4chan, you are supossed to be on a vacation right now

>>9950779
>being afraid of soy
you need to consume stupidly high dose to get any real effect, people who eat soy being trannies is just a shitty reddit meme

>>9952115
i eat a whole package a day and im healthy, dont be a faggot

>tfw my mother was so shit at cooking meat i became vegetarian
>tfw now i'm old enough to cool meat well, i don't like the taste because i was conditioned to not like meat

Pavlov you motherfucker.

>>9947744
My mom made me hate liver because she always bought and cooked the cheapest one which at the time was pork liver which has to be soaked in milk for the night and cooked for long time till its tender and my mom ofc didnt do that.
It was always tough barely eatable shoe-like mass.
For 20 years I never ate any because of that till i cooked some chicken livers for myself and love them now.
Over all my mom was a great cook and my dad was great at reheating whatever my mom cooked.
Cant complain.

>>9951261
He's a diabetic who's on 3 shots of insulin a day. I'm sorry I worry about my father snacking on sugary food AFTER eating a whole bagel for breakfast

>>9952189
>I'm healthy

If you're consuming over 28 grams of sugar a day, you certainly aren't.

>>9947823
My mom did exacly the same thing, both with salt and steaks.
My gf salts everything so hardcore compering to my mom I was adjusting for like 6 months. Had more water for dinners for past year than any liquid ever in my life.

>>9950346
literal cuck detected

dad grills t-bone steak anno 1995-2005

blue rare
rare
medium rare
medium
medium well
well done
overcooked
cremated
neutron star
fabric of reality <-

>>9948942
shut up and post your menstrual bacon slut

>>9951268
I think the fedora reference is getting alittle out of hand and has been misapplied here.

>>9952449
So... carbon?

>>9949444
You're hurting me anon

I won't even let my mother cook because of this.

Mom is actually a good recipe cook, she has a big binder full of recipes she has collected over the years. Just doesn't have the attention span for long involved dishes. Dad was awful unless manning the grill.

>>9948942
>boyfriend
So are you a gay Jew or a girl Jew?

>>9947744
do you know what does my dad does with the leftover soup? he puts the soup on a pan, adds pepper, salt, flour, corn/potatostarch, bell peppers, extra tomatoes and some spicy peppers
he "boils" it until it looks like a porridge
after that, he just takes the whole pan, adds tabasco (or pepper), ketchup, a shitload of mayo and mashed potatoes
then he proceeds to eat this with bread, whispering "oh shit damn", furiously farting (the wallpapers just falls off)
after the proccess, he goes to the toilet, sits there up to 10 hours, while screaming/grunting/feeling the pain
the toilet smells like a rotten pig meat after him, and i can smell some good ol' NH3 flying in the toilet

>>9947744
My Mom's food kicks ass. 90% of what I cook are based on her recipe's altered to fit my taste slightly more. Growing up everyone who stayed over always seemed sincerely impressed with the food.

I never ate ramen until I was 20, I didn't know mashed potatoes could come in a bag until I saw a friend use that instant shit, etc.

On the opposite side of that, I'm terribly unimpressed with most peoples food having grown up with good cooking.

>>9949654
Teeth sensititvity is a real thing. I got a sensitive tooth after a cavity filling recently and it's a nightmare. Any cold beverage stings like a motherfucker

>>9952753
>t.russian dad

Everything, and I mean everything my mom cooked had this spice mix either in it or on it. Its the taste of my childhood, because everything tasted the same. Hell, im pretty sure i've had it on a plain piece of bread with butter and this mix.

It says pan & grill mix on the label.

>>9949205
>I don't know what it is about Baby Boomer Mom's, as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.
it's sad how true this is; it's like they said fuck it to learning anything from their parents

>you know baking has never worked for me, even when I follow the recipe.
>but then again I don't measure

>>9949205
>
I don't know what it is about Baby Boomer Mom's, as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.

So true. In my case, I have a mom who collects antique dolls. Imagine growing up with display cases full of hundreds of old dolls in your living room. Used to creep my friends out whenever they'd come over.

>>9953030
Its because Baby Boomers were more entitled then they think. They were the ones that started the sexual revolution in the 70s when they were teens and young adults.

>>9950346
t. cuckold

Has anyone here ever realized that their favorite food growing up was the only one your mother knew how to properly season? My mom's potato wedges were my favorite fry, and only recently have I noticed it was because it was the only thing she really seasoned before putting in the oven, basil, olive oil and salt.

>>9948917
>cooking for cocking
The classic Old Deal. Does he beat you, also? That'd be great.

>>9953175
>>>/tumblr/

>>9953067
Niggah, the sexual revolution happened in the late 60's. Fuck, you millennials have brains that are empty wastelands.

>>9947744
noodles/rice with maggy sauces
meat&veg(sometimes rly huge ammounts meat,sausages& nuggets like 2 plates fully loaded for 4 ppl)
soup
casserole

i had always eat way too much, i loved it especially the much meat days

I love my mom to death, but her idea of making a turkey for thanksgiving is outting the turkey in a small pool of water and putting butter all over it.

Thats it. One year I tried putting some rosemary or thyme on it and she acted like I was killing a person in the kitchen.

>mom is good at cooking some stuff
>never does it very often
>makes the stuff that's worse more often

???

>>9950488
Fuck bro. I grew up poor too and can't see food be wasted either, so I understand your old man.

>dad doesn't grill
>mom doesn't cook
They think I'm Emeril because I can make a simple pan gravy to go with our pork chops.

>>9952553
I dunno being a Poltard is pretty fedora.

My mother was an excellent cook.

>Dad never cooks
>Always orders food or has us eat easy-to-make meals
>One day decides to make burgers
>Gets the frozen patties and puts them in a pan of cold oil
>Heats it up
>Once both sides are browned, he takes it and place sit onto a cookie sheet and bakes
>Half an hour-ish later he takes them out and places three pieces of american cheese on each burger and puts it back
>Serves it with wonder bread and ketchup straight from the refrigerator
>Bite into the burger
>Didn't season anything

I acted like it was one of the best things I've ever had.

>>9947744
>single mother household
>to show that I was better than my picky eater sisters, I ate everything no complaints
>everything ultra well done and dry
>eggs only unseasoned, rubbery hard
>garlic, oil, salt, butter, onion, etc. never used, never in the house
Went military out of highschool, traveled the world, dining in foreign locations opened my mind about food, I can't look back on my childhood meals with regret because I always got to eat but I always carefully shoo my mother out of the kitchen and do the cooking myself now.

>>9948895
adding ketchup to a dish is just one step away from adding tomato paste and brown sugar, so it's really not that radical

>>9947744
>tfw I have a 9yo son
>tfw he might be posting ITT

How do I know if I'm a bad cook?

>>9949411
I cooked a roast in a crockpot on low for 8 hrs and it didnt even shred. It was like tree bark. Never using a crock pot for anything other than hot chocolate again.

Both of my parents used ground turkey in place of ground beef in everything.
My mother made crock pot meals swiming in cream of mushroom soup all the time (beef stew was beef, potatoea and carrots soaking in mushroom soup all day).
Before my parents started """" cooking""""" we ate hamburger helper a lot.
Dark times.

>>9955578
Was it in any kind of liquid or fat?

>steak always well done
>YOU'LL GET PARASITES IF YOU DO LESS!

>>9950346
>You dont own the other person.
Lol check out this fucking loser.

>>9955517
lol you know better than that. kids have almost no complex sense of taste before ages 10-12. part of the reason parents fix crap is because they realize that expensive and laborious preparation is literally meaningless to their child in the first several years they exist. Kids almost exclusively eat for highest calorie content(ie. sugar, sweet, will eat straight butter if nobody told them to stop, etc.). Those perfect medium rare steak cuts might as well be heated hotdogs.

>>9948519
sure you are edgelord

My mom liked to make this ambrosia fruit salad. It's bizarre. It's like fruit covered with whip cream and marshmallows. She would put like oranges and grapes in and then smother it in some weird pink whipped cream

>>9947744
Posted this in another thread but, going to my in-laws for dinner is always fucked. There's something wrong with them...

>never season their food before or during cooking. Never.
>dinner always consists of turkey (or some other protein rarely), dry unseasoned mashed potatoes, pre chopped bagged green beans boiled in unseasoned water and served dry.
>always get served insanely small portions, (1 slice turkey 1 spoonful of beans 1 scoop potatoes) end up just making something with flavour when I get home anyways...
>we try and get them over here or out to dinner for dinner sometimes, if it's not the 1 restaurant (blandest and most expensive hipster bar in town) her father likes we can't go anywhere
>when we do go to only restaurant her parents like, they always order the same thing and mother always complains about same thing she keeps ordering.
>occasionally bring dishes to dinner that aren't spicy at all, purposely make sure to keep it simple but also make sure food is properly seasoned during cooking (kosher salt, fresh cracked pepper and herbs, etc)
>get told food is too overwhelming, strong, spicy, etc.
>mother has asked to try things I make and said she liked them, so I would go out of way to make extra for her only to find out later on by slip of her tongue that she actually doesn't like that at all and has been throwing out my food for years...
>father in law absolutely refuses to try anything new at all. No new seasonings, foods, sauces, condiments, textures, etc. Ever.


What the fuck is wrong with people like this... is it autism Or are they foodlets?

>I think seasonings cover up the natural flavor of the beef/pork/chicken

>Uh, no. I actually LIKE the taste of beef (etc), thank you

>>9955689
my mom's ambrosia is sour cream, shredded coconut, marshmallows, mandarin oranges, and pineapple

I've come to realize that ambrosia is a very, very 1950/60's-esque "throw everything in a bowl and call it a meal" kind of things, like aspic and moon eye pie

truth be told though it actually doesn't taste as bad as you'd think, I actually enjoy it

>>9955689
oh fuck i love that stuff

>>9953831
I asked my mom if I could cook the turkey this (last) year
she was the most offended I'd ever seen her and became extremely defensive of her entire meal, and started yelling at me about how the seasonings I wanted to use aren't good and how she "likes the taste of turkey" (it tastes like fucking metal and water when it's unseasoned, at least hers do.)

>>9952449
Kek

>>9947744
That sounds pathetic.

The only thing I can remember is my mother used to boil chicken and expect me to eat that flavorless shit.

>>9950485
You must have great patience. Become a driving instuctor is easier.

>>9951941
>>9952052
You two seem mad. That is inferring you aren't samfagging because my words legitimately bothered you.I
> Teen
You're implying that I should become subdued in adulthood and accept the world as shit.
You have a weak bloodline, i can smell it.
>>9952052
No u

>>9950346
>>9951735
What type of traffic is this place generating these days? Repressed homosexual genxers who got abused as children? Fuck.
Get off my board.

>>9955611
Fuck my mother used to do that ground turkey bullshit since she heard red meat is bad for you one oprah or something. I finally told her once to stop buying it unless she planned on eating it herself.

>>9953831
Dont talk shit about ur mum!
> :( kys innit guvna.

>>9956573
Get a trip so I can block you, you insufferable faggot.

>>9956608
The fact that you were floating around this board for hours anticipating my response speaks volumes about your character.
Feel free to call me names if you'd like.

ITT: oldfags getting triggered over lads roasting mum's cuisine.

>>9956612
He should cry to let it all out.
>>9950779
Let me play with ur gyno.

>>9947744
My mother is an amazing cook, and anyone who ate her food would agree. The only issue was how she came to be a great cook.
She is a terrible creature who does nothing but sit on the computer and watch dramas or research recipes. She hates people and only ever steps out of the house for groceries. I’m not going into other details of why she was a terrible mother, but she knew she was awful at everything but cooking. Cooking was her only validation and she’d be damned if she didn’t make good food.
I do miss her cooking, but I’ve been (relatively) happier ever since I moved out.

I love my dad and he makes nice food sometimes, but his whole side of the family does this one thing that seems really disgusting/unhygienic, couldn't fathom cooking like that at work or home
>will cook a meal for dinner one night(lets say some steak and caramelized onions in a pan)
>doesnt clean pan, leaves it with a plate covering it so flies dont get in on it
>next night would use the same pan to cook with if it was still there(i had made a habit of cleaning it everday before leaving to school), small chips of charcoaled onion and reheated fat mixed into the meal
is this a normal thing? his parents do it aswell. It isnt lazyness, when asking him he responds its to 'add to the flavor', and he is generally fairly hygienic at least by male standards

>undercooks chicken 30% of the time, our bodies are accomodated to raw poultry
>cooks everything on the stove on high heat, burns things, yells at me if I don't burn things
>double dips and completely devastates the sour cream by eating right out of the container because I sperged about it once years ago
>chases me out of the room when I try to sneak herbs and spices into the food

>>9950346
how nice of tyrone to let you have wifi in the cuckshed

>>9949753
doesn't want to deal with the fallout if he said it sucks
alternatively he simply doesn't give a fuck about food

>>9950488
From some stories ive heard you should count yourself and your father lucky hes annoying about food then, enjoy the fact that your father does not want his child hungry at any age.

>>9956704
NO IT'S NOT A FUCKING NORMAL THING
tell that fat faggot that burned, dried food bits and rancid fat doesn't add to the fucking flavor

>>9947744
My family always ate potatoes. We weren't poor, they just loved potatoes. They also ate candy and drank all the time.

>>9952553
Not really, no. I browse pol but you gotta keep pol shit in pol and find a way to make it palatable for normies outside of pol. Saying shit like degenerate irl or anywhere but pol and r9k is fucking cringeworthy as all fuck and will win over exactly zero people

>>9956688
what's wrong with any of what you said about her and how does that make her a horrible creature? does she neglect the house? if the house is in order and you're well fed and your father is well fucked, what do you care about?

>>9950346
Can I fuck your wife.

>>9950346

All this rage when you were right..

If your partner cheats on you s/he is either

1) an asshole, in which case gj marrying an asshole
2) dissatisfied, in which case it's both people's fault usually
3) psychologically unstable, which one should be aware of before marrying

>>9957708
>father well fucked
They didn’t sleep in the same room as long as I lived, I’m honestly surprised I was conceived, especially considering that she’s told me I was a mistake.

I feel you guys
>Parents averse to seasoning and salt, let white people meme
>Overcook all meats

>>9957992
rip

>>9947808
Is your dad my dad?

>>9949753

love and respect

>>9958433
move out you retarded fuck

My parents were restaurant industry people in a big city so meals, even the cheap ones, were always banging.

My dad always downplayed his cooking (called it bachelor food) but damn he can make a good chili/wings/Macaroni etc.

We may have been relatively poor but at least the food was great

>>9948804
jewish brisket has ketchup in it
brown stew chicken has ketchup in it
oxtail and beans has ketchup in it
filipino sweet and sour has ketchup in it
chili crab/shrimp has ketchup in it

i dont even use it as a condiment i only use it to cook with. also frenchs ketchup is best.

>>9948519
Can you start with me fampai?

>>9948940
bad advice from the US government during their time of learning

>>9949654
>When he was younger, he wouldn't eat it because it was "too cold" and it would "hurt his teeth".

If you had tooth sensitivity, you'd realize how much of an asshole you're being right now.

You know how if you stick your arm in ice water, it's so cold it hurts? Multiply that by 100 and put it in your teeth if you bite into anything close to freezing. I have to drink water in such a way that it doesn't touch any of my teeth but the front ones if it's too cold.

I will never be able to enjoy an ice cream sandwich as long as I live.

So fuck you and your insensitive ass.

>>9956732
Kek

>>9950502
>I walk two miles

Holy shit get a bike dude
Wtf

my gf doesn't really cook which is fucking insane because her mother is an insanely talented eastern european

i can't really remember mum cooking anything that wasn't roast beef or spag bol. both were really good, she slow cooks her pasta sauce for like 4-5 hours. I remember going insane waiting for it to cook, sometimes she'd let me dip bread in it though.

dad is an excellent baker but never really cooked anything that wasn't meat pies or carbonara with >cream
stepmum cooks really well god bless her. i have a recipe for her oven baked burritos somewhere, which I should find. dad and brother made her stop cooking it because it had tomatoes in it, fucking plebs

>>9950470

Kys you fucking leech

>>9950394
So your mom was always tired, didn't have much home life, and still worked overtime to make ends meet? And despite working she's in some awful low paid thing and needs help from the govt to get by? I don't think you should be talking shit about someone who by your own admission works hard but has got stuck being underpaid. Sounds to me like your mom had a pretty tough time raising you and the least you could do is try to understand instead of wishing a third world war on her

>>9950394
Also
>I literally keep a stock of minced garlic
This is the most retarded thing I've ever seen someone brag about on this fucking wasteland of a website

>>9947744
>>9947769

that magic moment when you realize not all meat has liver undertones

Man... I just realised how fucking great my parents are. I feel so bad for you guys

>mom is Thai and cooks the BEST food
>I have to force myself to eat when I'm at other people's houses and it is potatoes, meat and vegetables where the only seasoning is salt and pepper

>>9953934
Maybe the worse stuff is just faster and less of a hassle.

>>9962607
not everybody eats dog

>>9949830
You have so much to learn young blood.

>>9950428
kek

>>9955711
This made me sad.

>>9955611
My parents did it because it was cheaper and had alot of mouths too feed
We still did buy ground beef sometimes but it was mostly turkey

>>9951092
>My only issue with him is that his presentation is utter shit and he knows how to make classic French food looks like utter shit.

>complaining about the presentation of everyday home cooked meals

Just how much of an insufferable, entitled shit are just?

>>9947744
My grandmother used to make burgers well done with barely any seasoning. I thought I hated burgers for about half my life.

>mom was actually a great cook
>always fucking working though
>sister cooked all the meals
>sister was meh
>started cooking for myself at around 10
>noone taught me anything just kind of picked up on what i saw
>became a teenager and the wonder of the internet came about
>started learning even more
>family now asks me to cook all holiday meals
>dont really want to as i like my moms cooking
>we now have something to do together on holidays
>mom is starting to get sick
>hope she sticks around to be able to cook for my kids

>>9948203
hahahaha Jesus Christ anon this is /ck/ you know
like I'm sorry but lmfao

>>9947744
>Will it be rice or plantains as the main dish tonight?
I wished I was white solely because of this

>>9955578
Lower the temperature faggot. Prolonged cooking time means it needs to have low temperature. As low as it goes. I go for 12 hours on the lowest setting . That's more than enough to cook it evenly throughout the meat and ensure germs don't survive. If I want meat in 10 minutes tough I'm gonna crank it up at high.

>>9964024
I've heard fried thin-sliced plantains are tasty like a snack. They don't sell plantains where I live tough.

>>9950346
You're either a literal cuck or a fucking waste of a person who will never be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with anybody.

>>9950538
Fuck off

All of you should be grateful that none of you know my mother-in-law. She is probably the most selfish person I know, I've known her for about 5 years, and besides the day I first dined at her house. I've never seen her cook for anybody else but herself. She drops hundreds of dollars a month on organic sweeted popcorn and organic Trader Joe's snacks. Everything in that house is "hers" and if you want to eat anything, you have to ask first. The result is her blackmailing you to clean her kitchen, which is essentially her sole purpose in life, blackmailing her family. However there is a silver lining, because she blows all of her credit card money on expensive kitchen appliances and never uses them. If I get bored i try out her $300 blender or her $500 juicer.

>have mom that loves food and takes genuine pride and interest in constantly improving her cooking ability
>Eat great even we times were incredibly tough
(See also father's cancer plus recession layoff super combo)
>Never once accepted a gubmint check
>Became depression tier resourceful and can make an excellent meal out of next to nothing

>mfw My dipshit Midwestern friends think anything that isn't boxed or fast food is weird and won't touch it.

>>9950678
kek

>>9952449 FTFY
>dad grills t-bone steak anno 1995-2005
>blue rare
>rare
>medium rare
>overcooked
>medium
>medium well
>well done
>cremated
>neutron star
>fabric of reality <-

>>9950346
You literally do, though. A marriage contract is exactly that. A contract that says "I own you, and you own me, and we're agreeing to not have non-platonic relations with anyone else."

>>9950428
T. Single mother.

>>9947744
Mom worked late nights and was never much of a cook, so my dad usually did the cooking. Up until maybe 5th grade it was a PB+J sandwich on sourdough bread for lunch every school day, after that I made my own lunches.

He was an alcoholic at the time, but has always been really into fitness too. Every single night, dinner was grilled chicken (not bad), steamed frozen vegetables and maybe some bread or rice. Same thing every night. It was low-carb because he knew he'd be drinking ~1000 cal of alcohol that day. It's not like we were starved as kids but the monotony was the reason I learned to cook for myself.

>>9950516
My MIL is one of those "don't talk to me until I have my coffee" people, but she only drinks candy flavored k-cups. She was trying to convince me they are good by buying unflavored and brewing it "strong" after I explained to her that I prefer drip or perc coffee. I don't know why people like that stuff, it just tastes like artificial flavoring. Even the "strong" cups taste like stale, cheap blended coffee, mixed with muddy water. You can tell none of the oils make it out in the 15 seconds it takes to make your cup and that the coffee is terribly low quality to begin with

>>9952240
>MUH SUGAR

Only obese ketoniggers sperg about that

My mom is a good chef, I like most of what she makes. BUT she can't do a wok though; she always throws in disgusting celery (?) even though I've said multiple times it doesn't belong in a wok.
Dad can only make himself crackers with cheese.

>>9948737
>I come from a Jewish family and my mom says this stew is the "kosher" style stew and doesn't use milk.
>tell her it's just not my favorite dish if hers and she gets butthurt about it even though I like everything else she makes. She says this is a family recipe used in past generations.

The absolute state of our rulers, they fell for their own memes.

>>9948754
Teach her to make a roux. Learn from the BBC she enjoys. Good luck anon.

>>9957932
>women cheating is always the male's fault.

Hi Red pill faggots!

>>9965845
That anon's points apply to both genders. Men can cheat too.

>>9947744
I had a friend who I used to talk life with over beer after work at a local bar. Anyway, he kept complaining his parents didn't use spice on their food. Every meal was chicken and a vegetable; no salt, no pepper. Plain steamed chicken and veggies. Everyday.

I have my own garden so I gave him an assortment of dried herbs like oregano, basil and thyme, and a hugefuck jar of homemade hot sauce. A couple weeks pass so I stop by since his parents are on vacation so we can smoke some weed, and he informed me his parents threw the spices and hot sauceI gifted him away. Something about that struck a morbid nerve and I have felt a bloodlust for those motherfuckers ever since. The fucking audacity. I got staggered drunk and pissed on their dog as some sort of satisfaction.

>>9947744
We never had any pork in my house for 18 years because my dad got sick eating some before I was born. All it took to get them back on the menyu was my ex-gf making some perfect ribs at a BBQ. Why the fuck didn't we do that sooner?

>>9951107
Different times required different skillsets

>>9965855
Good post, made me laugh.

>>9961604
I'm the same way. Although by the sound of it, not as extreme as you. Whenever I eat ice cream sandwiches I have to use my back teeth and not my front teeth

My mom tried to deep fry an avocado chunk. shit was nasty.

>>9961604
>>9966313
This
it's horrible and hot water doesn't help

>>9950394
Welfare isn't socialism, it's liberalism.

My mom overcooked everything in the oven. I grew up hating pizza because of this, burnt cheese is hideous. To her the dough was always raw. Anything fried in oil was low heat and never cooked crispy because golden/brown is unhealthy.

The only three spices she used was minimal salt, paprika and parsley. You can't imagine how much I hate parsley to this day.

My parents are good cooks. However they cook a feast every fucking night. There are always desserts and sweets in the fridge. Everything has to taste good in this house.

I can't wait to move out.

>Mom frequently says she hates cooking but considers herself a good chef
>Constantly looking for the easiest, laziest solution to every meal
>As a result 95% of meals are frozen dinners or pre-prepared food
>Also doesn't take criticism well and throws a fit when we didn't like her food
>To top is off has an extremely bland pallet and can't handle anything spicier than ketchup
>Dad doesn't cook period unless you count dumping salsa on everything my mom makes

What's it like having good home cooked meals? I genuinely do not know the feel.
>Dad doesn't cook

>mom makes fried rice
>dumps 5 cups of vinegar into 10 cups of rice and a whole goddamn bottle of soy sauce
>then dumps an entire jar of minced garlic into the rice
>douses it all in canola oil and covers it in preground black pepper
>then finishes it by dumping 3 cans of undrained peas and carrots into the rice
>literally tastes worst than dog food

>>9967601
Palate

>>9948917
>woman
Grrrrrr!!!

>>9947744
Mother-in-law is bipolar

>when maniac state she cooks really well, in fact she had a restaurant for 15 years
>deppresive state we're lucky if she cooks, one time she said she was going to prepare us some great dish and she just vanished, ended up eating chips
>other time left the fish in the oven with the oven turned off for hours, when asked for it she just shrugged

If it was just cook related things I wouldnt mind but I cant handle her, I hate that she must force her husband and daughters to live with a wreck that doesnt want to be healed and I hope they send her to a place where she can get the help she needs without bothering her family

>>9950456
I have this

>>9950527
>implying most Jews aren't

>>9948737
>using ketchup as a base for fucking broth

kek
Let me guess, does she also use ketchup to make pasta sauce?

>>9950063
Sounds just like my fuckin mom.
I always try to cook for her when im over but goddamn if she doesnt come into the kitchen, fucking with my shit, adjusting the temp on the stove when im cooking shit...
I have no idea what happened, she used to be such a good cook and her kitchen was always clean and now she cant cook worth a fuck and her kitchen is a cesspool of dirty dishes and useless decorative bullshit

>>9950346
Dont you have menstrual blood to smear on something? #resist

>stunted sense of taste and smell
>barely able to distinguish between a porkchop and a tuna steak even when concentrating
>every food ends up tasting similar
>mom is an amazing cook
>everyone is constantly telling her that
>no matter if it's friends, people visiting, people at a potluck, or any other culinary occasion
>even at home, every meal has so much variety that every day is a "oh, it's been a while since we ate X" day
>really proud of her
>but I wish I could actually taste her food properly, even just once

>>9951092
My grandma was like that. She was from post war Germany.

>>9967652
How do you know how dog food tastes?

>>9967552
They sound pretty fat

>mom makes "hamburgers"
>could mistake them on sight for meatballs
>zero seasoning, just raw beef balled up and cooked
mother I love you, but god damn it I thought burgers were shite for a long ass time

>>9952969
My grandmother did the same thing, but with Maggi. Her macaroni and her bami tasted exactly the same. When my father was drafted he was the only one who thought the army food was any good compared to what he knew.

Thankfully my parents do know how to cook.

>>9968063
Forgot to mention the spam.
Spam and maggi, in everything.

>>9950394
>Looking back now i see why people hate socialism and single moms
Every single reason you listed on why "socialism sucks" was a valid criticism of capitalism. The US doesn't have socialism, only a tiny welfare program compared to many first world countries, and one of the worst corporatocracies in the world.
>The bitch complains about work, and working all the time excessive hours, yet she works overtime.
That's what capitalism will do to you.

How come parents cant take cooking criticism?

>>9949835
Shes bad at cooking but you were obviously an absolute moronic baby as a kid. Why not just take smaller bites? Why not drink between bites?