/ck/ - Food & Cooking

you should never fuck with your food

>>9939071
chicken feels just like pussi. you need to warm it in the microwave first.

I make pot pie with it after because it's usually too distressed to cook into anything else. i'm a fucken animal. heh.

>>9939071
I used to go to college with a guy who would fuck watermelons, No joke.

He would get them out of a dumpster behind food lion and fuck them in our dorm after warming it in a oven in the RAs lounge

>>9939103
Why didnt you guys DP the melon

>>9939071

>>9939071
Hot Pocket

>>9939071
slightly steamed offal in a frech baguette was reported to be a favourite of Sid Vidcious in Jonny Rottens biography -- No Irish No Blacks No Dogs.
but >>>/ck/ will tell you the McChicken Sandwich is their favourite
http://perezhilton.com/2016-08-29-mcchicken-man-films-himself-having-sex-mcdonalds-sandwich-internet-reacts-viral-video

>>9939071
Chicken filet

>>9939079
is it tight enough?

>>9940349
>raw chicken on your dick
that cant be good

>>9939071
I use cucumbers as anal dildos, ginger as buttplugs and sometimes deepthroat popsickles and bananas

>>9939103
I can't tell if that guy is a fucking savage for giving so few fucks or a messed up freak.

>>9939071
For me...

>>9939103
>warming it in a oven in the RAs lounge

bless the RAs for allowing/not knowing about demented shit

>>9941152
Use condom

>>9941489
gross

>>9941489
At that point just jerk off, at least you'll feel SOMETHING

>>9939071
when i was young i fucked a bowl of warm water and it felt amazing

>>9939103
>>9941162
that's honestly so fucking hot

>>9941370
S..senpi?

>>9939071
Papaya is popular around here. Just microwave for 28 seconds and youre good to go. At least thats what i have been told.

i only have sex with woman who give me consent
sorry i can't be of assistance good luck on your quest

>used to work at a restaurant that served prime rib on the weekends
>had a sleeve of fat running down the length of it
>was kept in cabinet during service that kept it at temp
>whenever I would cut a portion I would fingerblast the shit out of it

really wanted to fuck it but they would've missed that much product going awol, shit felt amazing

>>9941162
All women do. My older sister caught my little sister thrusting a carrot in her vagoo. Every time it is her birthday we gift her carrot as an inside joke.

>>9939071

>>9939071
Theres a show that used to run a couple years ago that did a study and said that veal was the closest to vagene.

>>9939071
Sounds like a good way to seriously scald the flesh off your dick if hot, or get an infection if not.

You do not want to damage your dick.

You can permanently lose sensation, the ability to orgasm through penile stimulation, and may even end up with some level of AMPUTATION.

Be safe, you sad sad mal - adjusted fuckers.
Seek council in and learn to have real relationships.
Or just get a pocket pussy.
The Japs make really high end ones that warm and move. It's better than risking harm to yourself.

Guy I knew would fuck out of date jam donuts in the bathroom during his lunch break at work. He'd heat them up first as well.

>>9944261

>>9944467
kek

Well, if any girls want to send nudes of themselves or videos of them fucking themselves with food, they can send it to kingpin_sosa on Snapchat.

>>9939071
>>9939103
That's pretty gross. I'd imagine it'd make your dick really sticky too.

>>9945807
fuck off nigger

I always fuck women before I eat them