/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9894681
>fucking tubs of fake butter
sounds fun

>>9894681
only reason why people make those pineapple pizza is because of that stupid ass meme.

Any kind of modern "Bloody Marry" where they stack 90 pounds of bullshit on top. Like these.

Or these.

>>9894728
>>9894729
>>9894730
I've heard that Instagram hos take pictures of these and then trash them immediately. Is this true?

>>9894737
Probably, I can't imagine anybody willingly eating these fucking atrocities.

>>9894681
i went to the bar the other day with my friends and they were talking about putting kraft singles in their ramen and on hot dogs
they acted like it was fancy and shit

>>9894681
>"And what pray tell is wrong with that?"

>>9894734
I'd eat it if I had a tub of those kleen wipes on hand. My OCD levels are at 'I TRIED TO WARN YOU...' looking at that.

>>9894726
is that thing garnished with another equally sized bloody mary?

>>9894729
That doesn’t even look good. I mean, it looks like the intent is dessert but it looks awful.

>>9894726
Is this photoshopped? How did they keep it from tipping? Don't give me any weight distribution bullshit either

>>9894763
Oh god that takes me back.
Fucking hsr.

>>9894726
>>9894728
>>9894729
>>9894730
>>9894734
>>9894736
>>9894738
I'm American and have literally never seen anything like this outside of photos on this board. Where the fuck do they sell this shit?

>>9894913
"non flyover" areas.

>>9894726
It's obviously meant to be funny, there's a fucking bloody mary garnish on the bloody mary.

>>9894681
>Also, people making “pineapple pizza”. No, not pizza with pineapple on it. Round fucking slices of raw pineapple fruit, covered in tomato sauce, cheese and pepperonis and thrown in the oven. “Pineapple Pizza”. Also you throw the whole rest of the pineapple in the oven because WHY THE FUCK NOT?

>he fell for the webm maymay

I dont seem to have the pictures saved anymore but an anon not long ago cooked meat inside a latex glove

>>9894681
must be american

>>9894721
I was eating it before the meme. Unironically, my gf started eating it because of said meme

>>9894681
my mom while she is a good cook cannot cook asian.
the recipe will call for "stir fried veggies" and she will fry them so long that they become weak and soft
tastes horrible
i tried explaining it to her but she doesnt care enough

>>9894734
>hersheys

>>9894681

a woman made this post.

>>9894681

>left home alone a lot
>ate nothing but butter dogs

I was left home alone a lot too, I just taught myself to cook instead of eating butter dogs.

>>9895234
You're meant to use that to hold your egg.

>>9894803
Weight distribution you physicsless heathen

>>9895222

>>9895224
don't misgender shitlord

>>9894681
>Putting anything but Mustard and maybe Ketchup on a sausage
>Sausage with mayo
>Goulash with ground beef
>Breaking pasta
>Boiling pasta in oil
>Not covering meat in flour before breading it
>White bread buns for Hamburgers

>>9895253
xD abback hewicopter

>>9895322
Triggered and checked

>>9895263
>>Not covering meat in flour before breading it

For the longest, no one just fucking told me about this. Like at all, I even asked my mother about why my breading was always shitty, if I was doing something wrong and she basically just told me to git gud and my grandmother only uses flour.

It wasn't embarrassingly late that I learned how eggs bind to flour.

>>9894726
I'd be fine if it was just a skewered picle.

>>9894763
one thanksgiving lovers pizza please

>>9894738
>>9894736
>>9894730
>>9894729
look at dem tall cups of diabetes. my teeth already hurt.

Grandma made a beet aspic a few weeks ago. I'm not very picky (also I love beets) but that was so horrible I didn't even manage to finish my portion out of politeness.
How did people manage to survive the 70s

>>9895263
you sound pretentious, little buddy

>>9894737
All I know is that we have to stop women.

>>9895234
That's not a terrible idea.

>>9894726
What's holding the other bloody mary up?

>>9894729
i can promise that your shit will come out blue colored from this. Baskin robbins icecream does that to me.

>>9894681

>>9896166
neat. brown aside, ive only gotten red and green shits but never blue.

>>9894726
umm this looks fucking amazing

>>9895251
based cs_kimmo

>>9896234
Get out thot

>>9896213
Do Americans really taste like this?

>>9894916
Opposite of a flyover is a soyboy.

>>9896217
I get blue shits when I drink too much listerine

>>9896271
Why are those words spelled out like that spongebob meme?

>>9896318
NO MORE BUBBLES!

Listerine power approaches you in a dark alleyway.
"Hey Kid" he says.
WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN TENDIES??

[Yes / No]
You have 18 good boy points.

>>9896271
My cheap ass friend bought this once. Tastes like shit and doesn't even melt properly.

>>9896317
t.native?

>>9896165
A third bloody mary sitting behind the first

>>9894681
Alright, i guess this is the best place to post since i dont want to make a whole thread. Consider this my food confession

Whenever I order a burger, I make it very clear I don't want cheese. in fact, if any recipe calls for melting, or otherwise liqufying cheese in any way, I stay away from it. This is because I do not believe cheese should be in liquid form, if it was meant to be solid, then it should stay solid. Anybody else like this?

>>9896474
you've obviously never had runny and soft European cheeses.

>>9896474
Damn nigga, you’re a massive cheese pleb

>>9894726
>bloody mary garnished with a bloody mary
this may be the most moving artwork I've ever seen

>>9894726

>that second bloody Mary as garnish

lost it there. fuckin saved

>>9894726
America was a mistake

>>9895263
>>Putting anything but Mustard and maybe Ketchup on a sausage
If you don't put kraut on your sausage you're confirmed for being a chicken tender baby.

>>9897419
Spicy Stone-Ground Mustard and Kraut, and if I have some, some crumpled bacon.

Lay it on me, tell me how shit I am for this.

>>9896474
this is why i dont touch water. it should be in gas form. if it was meant to be liquid than it would stay liquid.

>>9894738
I love nerds rope

>>9897504
To the guillotine with you.

>>9895263
>sausage with mayo
Who fucking does this?
>Boiling pasta in oil
Who fucking does this?
>Putting anything but Mustard and maybe Ketchup on a sausage
Confirmed manchild alert.

>>9894730
this... this specific one, looks like it could be eaten relatively painlessly if you had a sweet tooth and were a child.

>>9897620
Sausage and mayo is pretty great. The other night I chopped up a beef frank and stirred it with a dollop of white.

>>9894728
I want you to hurt my mouth.

>>9896474
How retarded can one person be? Holy shit. Materials change states all the time, naturally. I'm hoping this was bait and I fell for you merely pretending to be retarded

>>9896217
There used to be a blue soda that could turn your poop blue.

>>9894738
>>9894736
>>9894729
Humanity was a mistake.

>>9894726
kek

>>9894681
Is this thread about food sins in genera or ones we commit/commited?

I for example too often use a mayo/ketchup mix for cheesy toats.

I also often use instant ramen noodles to go with my real broth even though I have real ramen noodles sitting on my shelves. I just prefer them for some reason.

>>9894913
I'm in Australia and they're very popular with hipsters and white girls

>>9894913
They're probably sold in those places you see on the travel channel or on the youtube channel INSIDER

>>9896474
You sir are an imbecile. I'm glad you didn't make a thread and wish never to read anything else from you ever again.

>>9897834
oh so you'll eat melted cheese because it's natural? I guess you'll also eat cyanide and feces

>>9896474
now THIS is autism

>>9894721
>that stupid ass meme

what did he mean by this?

>>9894721
>>9895175
How good or bad is Pineapple pizza anyways? I've been curious but always afraid I'd get weird looks if I tried it

>>9896474
How the fuck do you eat pizza?

Dude, it sounds like you have a legitimate programming error.

>tomatoes in gumbo

I order gumbo any time I eat at a restaurant that offers it and this affront to god is more common than you'd think

Visited grandma during christmas, she makes delicious as fuck main meals but for dessert was the most horrific "traditional" shit I ever had.

>Some sort of milk based sauce
>bits of bread cheese (finnish thing, google it if you care enough)
>raisins
>fucking macaronis in there too
>and something called "klimppi" or clumps, literally the same word used to describe buggerballs
>turns out it was just huge chunks of flour that had been clumped up on purpose

Dear god it was so bad.

When I was first starting grad school I was really really poor. Like $20 - $30 on groceries a week poor or I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent. I never bought sweets but I had plenty of tortillas and brown sugar. I would bout butter on the tortillas, put the butter side face up right on the stovetop flame, and sprinkle brown sugar on the butter as it heated. It wasn’t all that bad desu.

I guess what’s worse is I would cook rancid ground turkey for dinner doing my best to pick around the really bad parts because I literally couldn’t afford not to.

>>9894726
> Tips over.

>>9897488
>that gif
I'm fucking angry

>>9896271
>>9896213
I prefer kraft singles, thank you!

>>9894726
This is obviously meant as a joke you boner, ffs there's a second bloody mary as a garnish

>>9900038
You effectively made sugar tortilla chips, nothing terrible there

>>9897487
Spicy stone ground is usually the superior mustard but personally I like the zing of shitty yellow mustard to go with kraut.

>>9898874
it's alright

I sometimes suck a banana like a cock and let ice cream drip off it on my face

>food sins
>F5
>jack
>zero results
How

i ate like 3 day old cereal

>>9901625
You had one job, /ck/

Look upon his works, ye mighty, and despair

>>9901654
I'll never understand how he doesn't get it. He is not a good cook by any means. How can you lack such self awareness?

>>9901677
The Dunning-Kruger effect is a psychological phenomenon in which those who are very incompetent at a task are also incompetent at assessing competency at that task, coupled with the fact that those who are extremely competent assume those around them share that competency.

In this way the worst performing people will typically highly overrate themselves, and the highest performing people will underrate themselves.

Alternatively, maybe all the raw food he's eaten has given him a brain parasite.

>>9901631
>daintily sprinkles cheese over the top

This is what infuriates me. You're not fucking Julia Child, you fat shit. I can imagine his ape like brain setting up this shot: "Yeah bro you look like a complete pro here motherfucking Emeril in this bitch BAM motherfucker hit em with that sprinkle alton Brown style whats good"

Fuck you Jack.

>>9901695
Jack is the gift that keeps on giving
>yeah, that looks perfect, lets just dunk this totally unbattered in the ice cold oil. perrrrfect.

>>9901684
>all that white in the pork

>>9901684
>the last 5 seconds...

>>9898874
It's the best with chicken

>>9901654
>>9901684

THAT MEAT IS NOT COOKED, THAT MEAT IS NOT COOKED

>>9895263
>not liking béarnaise

pleb

>>9898874
It's a nice sweet/salty profile if done right. It's best with some kind of meat on the pizza, not just pineapple.

>>9901625
>>9901631
>>9901654
>>9901684
>>9901721

>>9899748
Seriously, what the fuck is with that? Not that tomatoes don't figure into other Cajun cooking. I never order gumbo... it's a homemade thing. The Disney channel posted a recipe vid this year for gumbo made with kale, quinoa, and no roux. Everyone I know was outraged

>>9896318
All of the vowels are lowercase because the designers are retarded and thought it looked good

this is a real meal one of my relatives on facebook posted. their feed is just endless wifey posts

>>9904004
>disney gumbo
Wow I wish I hadn't looked that up. How is it possible to fuck up so bad?

>they didn't even put fucking file in it

>>9904499
looks finnish

I literally hate Jack. He epitomises everything wrong with this century.

>>9894738
>>9894736
>>9894734
>>9894730
>>9894729
>>9894728
>>9894726
wtf i love diabetes now?!

>>9901654
Wasn't there an episode of Ramsey's show where a wannabe cook undercooks his chikin and Ramsey basically tells her she's going to kill someone ?

>>9895350
>get rightfully mocked
>responds with memes in an attempt to show the poster was totally not owned

>>9901654
>It's still bleeding
How the fuck is this guy still alive? Why the hell does he have an audience that likes him despite doing shit like this? You'd think he would have accidentally killed himself because of this shit, or got sued to oblivion because some one got harmed following this as if his videos are gospel.

>>9896368
Underrated

>>9901600
Who doesn’t?

>>9904499
No it's fucking not lmao that's a guy in the sardine general's Christmas dinner, he posted it

>>9896152
Yes it is, you're a god damned retard if you can't cut a carrot in half without stupid tricks.

>>9896474

I've been a chef for 10 years, and now as the dark night of /ck/ I must tell Anon that cheese wants to be melted. My friend, Melty McMelt Cheese tells me this before he kisses me goodnight.

>>9894681
Once as a kid I was eating a big hunk of cheese cake, and my brother's friend was around and asked what it was and I said it was a whole stick of butter. He watched me eat it all in utter amazement.

I buy limeade minutemaid concentrate and eat it straight out of the frozen can with a spoon.

>>9899988
I have this Roanian friend who keeps making this weird egg based custard/pudding thing, which he always brings in a pan. It's this kind of foamy clumps in milk with some orange zest and vanilla.

I've told him I don't like it but it's okay, because I didn't want to tell him what I actually think which is - It's fucking DISGUSTING. AND HE KEEPS MAKING IT

I'm not even sure if he's bad at making it or just a shitty recipe. I've never seen it or heard about it before he made it.

>>9906844
Found it!

It's apparently called: "Lapte de pasăre"

>>9900038
The first thing you described is literally a traditional mexican dish lol.

And theres nothing wrong at all with making due with what you're given. Thats called being a man.

>>9906875
>making due

>>9905761
>>9896152
specifically it means your knife isn't sharp and you're forced to do stupid shit to compensate.

>>9906857
That looks like ile flottants, french meringue on top of custard. It's pretty nice done well.

>>9907044
I see. Maybe he's just bad at making it then.

But then again, I'm not fond of desserts to begin with. Sweet things just don't sit well with me.

>>9900038
They found the remains of hops growing by a norse house when they did a dig in the 70s. It predates their use in beer by centuries - it was almost certainly used to disguise the flavour of rotten pork

>>9906844
>I'm not even sure if he's bad at making it or just a shitty recipe. I've never seen it or heard about it before he made it.
They are also made in Germany, they're called "Schnee nockerln" there. They don't taste bad. Maybe he just sucks.

>>9900127
I will actually try to eat hotdog the same way today.
That is my mission for today.
Kill me pls.

>>9894726
>garnishing something with it's self

>>9907359
That's some meta shit right there.

Like putting min-pizzas as topping for a pizza.

>>9897620
I legitimatly have a cousin who is obsessed with Mayo, he puts it on pretty much everything. I get mayo on chips and I also can barely tolerate mayo on crisps, but he also puts it on other stuff including but not limited to Sausages, Oranges, Cakes etc. It is pretty much everywhere and I wonder how he didn't got a hearth attack yet or how he actually manages to avoid being a 250kg ham planet.

>>9895222
>t. Palmer Chocolate employee

>>9894913
Planet Hollywood at Disney World. Two shakes were enough to fill me and two coworkers, we didn't even get around to ordering food.

>>9894737
I believe it. Another one of my coworkers at Disney would buy one of the mickey ice cream bars, take a picture with it, and then throw it away without taking a bite. And those things are $5 a piece

>>9894803
Super glue

>>9907377
>Like putting min-pizzas as topping for a pizza.

>>9905761
Yeah, send that dummie to the gulag for opting for something convenient

>>9895263
>Goulash with ground beef
He mad

>>9896217

I've had a bright, almost neon Teal shit before.

Two large shaved ice from bahamma bucks

>>9909546
Fuck forgot name was still on. Ignore that.

>>9909546
Your brother must be learning so much.

>>9909613

He actually called me today to ask how to do a post with green text.

>>9901654
Look at all of these whiny faggots getting upset over some blood. The juice coming out is just extra flavor.

>>9909640
Honestly the skin looked pretty damn good, but your chicken shouldnt fucking bleed when you poke it with a fork

>>9904004

Can i skip the roux if i use okra?

>>9909615
Holy shit

>>9909679
NO FAGGOT

>>9901625
>>9901631
>>9901654
>>9901684
>>9901721
Jesus christ, that is awful.
does he do anything right?

>>9909757
He apparently possesses full faculty of his 5 senses, even if he is very slow on the take.

>>9896474
Please start using a tripcode so i can filter you

>>9895234
That's actually pretty clever

>>9902782
Absolutely patrician

>>9902806
>>9901730
Spotted the newfags

>>9898874
Only with canadian bacon

>>9895234
This isn't a bad idea but anyone who refers to anything as a "hack" should be taken out back and shot

>>9896271

>>9910141
>now melts
w-what Didi it do previously?

>>9901625
>crushes the bun trying to cut it
>doesn't attempt slicing the burger until the knife is already in contact with the plate
>bun isn't toasted
>but looks like it's from Walmart
>some sort of mess of what looks like pickles and mustard
>a comically uneven tomato slice that is way too thick on one side
>cheese isn't melted
>burger patty is completely raw
>displays it as if it's some top chef masterpiece
>goes through the trouble of plating it but leaves an ugly cheapass cutting board under it to emphasize that he's white trash but likes watching the Food Network
the more i look at it the more it upsets me

>>9905730
loooooooooooooo

>>9894681

yuck

>>9910191
>the more i look at it the more it upsets me
That’s because you’re a snowflake and a faggot.
Fuck off back to your safe space, soyboy.

>>9910322
>"look mom i'm a 4channer!"

>>9907859
>Another one of my coworkers at Disney would buy one of the mickey ice cream bars, take a picture with it, and then throw it away without taking a bite. And those things are $5 a piece

Do Americans not have any basic moral integrity or appreciation for the things they have?

>>9894730
Is that blue taffy? looks like dried paint what the fuck

>>9896474
This is why I don't eat sauce, if it was suppose to stay like a tomato, onion, peppers, and spices, those should stay in plant form. Anyone else like this?

>>9909757
Who?

>>9907859
waste of a 5 dollar bill, i could get some decent ground beef for that price

>>9909507
>>9895234
>having to explain how to split a carrot
1) Place the carrot on your cutting surface
2) With your preferred hand, lower the knife to the carrot, nearly bringing the two into contact
3) Using your other hand, pinch the carrot with thumb on one side of the knife, and remaining fingers on the other
4) Lower the knife further, splitting the carrot in half - assist with your offhand if necessary
wa la

As an added bonus, your off hand is conveniently placed to easily manipulate the split carrot, so that you can easily dice it from there.

>>9910776
No

>>9895234
Trying this tomorow

>>9910147
invaded poland

>>9910147
used for nuclear control rods

>>9904004
>no roux
How the fuck do you gumbo without roux? Why the fuck would you gumbo without roux?

>>9895263
I do all these things and I'll never stop

>>9911058
It isn't a gumbo w/o roux, period. It just becomes a stew. You can add virtually anything to a gumbo but you absolutely are required to have a dark roux.

>>9896474
I ask them to substitute milk instead. milk is meant to be a liquid and it should stay that way. Solid milk is just weird.

>>9896474
I despise cheese. The smell alone makes me gag, I will never eat cheese by itself. However I love pizza. Weird.